CW: Involuntary exposure
"This is outrageous!" Professor Flitwick cried out. "Albus, this cannot happen!"
"These girls are accusing an innocent witch!" Professor McGonagall threw back, her face contorted in a fury. "These girls broke into the Gryffindor Common Room and tried to attack my students!"
Hermione watched as McGonagall stormed around the room, fuming. Professor Flitwick stood nearby, angry and shaken, though he tried to look stern.
The room was rather crowded. A large group of them had been dragged up to Dumbledore's office in the aftermath that followed the chaos of five young girls running through the halls and into the Great Hall during dinner, fully nude, chasing after their clothes as their robes danced through the air just out of their reach. The resulting pandemonium had been spectacular to behold, apparently – Hermione wished that she could have seen it, but of course, she hadn't been there.
Luna Lovegood stood serenely with Ginny Weasley, who looked shaken but curious, wide-eyed as she watched. Sue Lu, Lisa Turpin, Orla Quirke, Yutaka Amano, and Becky Arncliffe all stood near Flitwick, their clothes rumpled and hastily thrown back on, their faces still red from humiliation. Hermione and Draco Malfoy stood near Professor Snape, both being careful to keep their faces neutral as they watched the chaos unfold.
Hermione idly wondered if this was the highest number of students ever in Dumbledore's office simultaneously before.
Albus Dumbledore looked over them all with stern eyes.
"Let us get to the bottom of this, then," he said. He looked to the Ravenclaw girls. "What happened?"
Sue Li was still too shaken and too angry to verbalize anything, so Lisa Turpin stepped forward.
"We," she said, gesturing to the five of them, "were talking in the hallway when Luna Lovegood came up to us. She started accusing us of stealing her House tie, and when Sue said she hadn't, Luna attacked Sue and stole her House Tie off her."
"Attacked her?" McGonagall said incredulously, glancing down at Luna, who was playing with her radish earrings serenely.
"Tackled her and stole it from her neck," Lisa clarified. "She then ran off, and we ran after her."
"Did you now," Snape murmured.
"When we finally had her cornered in a dead-end corridor – you know, to make her give the tie back – Luna cast some spell, and all of a sudden, there were ten of Luna there, all with wands, and they started blasting us with spells!"
"Ten of her?" Flitwick repeated, in tones of bafflement, and Lisa nodded vigorously.
"Yes! So then we dueled, only we were outnumbered two to one. All the Lunas were vicious, casting all kinds of awful curses at us–"
"What kind of curses, Miss Turpin?" Snape interrupted silkily, and Lisa paused.
"Um, normal ones, I guess?" she ventured. "Bat-bogey hexes, the pimple jinx, Furnunculus a few times… someone cast one that made Orla start belching slugs, and one of the Lunas hit Yutaka with something that made her teeth grow past her chin."
Snape's eyes flickered over to Yutaka, who was still hiding the bottom of her face with her robes, and Orla, who still seemed to look faintly green.
"I see," he said. "Please continue."
"So after the Lunas all just unloaded curses and hexes and jinxes on us, there was another bright flash, and then Lunas were all one Luna again, just standing there looking at us," Lisa said, her tone quaking. "Then she… err…"
"Then she did what, Miss Turpin?" Dumbledore prodded.
"She… well, Luna loses her things all the time, and she'd been blaming us for her lost things, claiming we were taking them and hiding them on her, so she said that because her clothes were always escaping her and lost all the time, that perhaps we should have our clothes lost too." Lisa swallowed. "Then she cursed our clothes off of us, so we were all naked, and sent our clothes flying through the hallways. We had no choice but to chase after them, with her just standing there, laughing at us the whole time."
"And this is where we had five young girls run into the Great Hall during dinner in various states of disarray," Dumbledore said. His eyes flicked over to Luna, who was still standing serenely with Ginny Weasley. "Miss Lovegood, where were you this evening?"
"I was studying Transfiguration with Ginny since after classes ended," Luna said. "I didn't think I'd done very well on our last test, and Ginny said we could review a bit and maybe I could ask McGonagall if I could retry it tomorrow if I thought I really did that badly."
McGongall looked puzzled and glanced down at Luna.
"You did fine, dear," she told her, and Luna blinked up at her.
"Oh, did I?" her voice was an airy lilt. "I thought I got points off for the tea cup not matching the saucer."
"You did, but very few," McGonagall said. "You still managed the Transfiguration successfully, dear."
"She was not!" Becky broke out. She pointed at Luna accusingly. "She was cursing us in the hallway! I saw her!"
"She was not!" Ginny said fiercely. "She was with me!" She looked up at McGonagall. "You can ask anyone! We've been in the common room for hours! You can ask the Fat Lady, or Percy, or anyone!"
"Miss Weasley is telling the truth," McGonagall told Dumbledore. "The Fat Lady assures me that both girls have been inside the common room all evening. Dinner hours were extended today, and they hadn't yet left to attend."
"That's impossible!" Sue Li burst out. She was still shaking, her face purpled with rage.
"And yet, it is not," Dumbledore murmured. "And yet, both scenarios are clearly true."
"Both of them true?" Sue Li demanded. "How?"
Dumbledore's eyes flickered over to Snape.
"I was hoping your students might help elucidate that matter for us, Severus," Dumbledore said.
"I fail to see how or why," Snape drawled. "As I said when you requested their presence, my students were playing Exploding Snap together, along with the rest of their classmates."
"Nevertheless," Dumbledore said. "Miss Granger is a close friend of Miss Lovegood, and she might be able to shed some light on the situation."
Draco shot Hermione a sharp look, to which Hermione rolled her eyes.
"Well, seeing as I wasn't there, I can hardly offer any real input into this," Hermione said. "All the second year Slytherins were playing cards together as a way to blow off steam after exams. However, if I were to guess what could have happened, it sounds like Sue Li and her little crew got their comeuppance for torturing Luna all semester."
"We got what?" Lisa Turpin demanded, and Hermione gave her a dismissive look.
"Your comeuppance," she repeated. "Everyone knows that you five have teased Luna something awful this year and that you were stealing her things. Ginny and I came to your Common Room to help Luna find everything of hers a month or so ago. You weren't exactly subtle about your torture."
"That's a lie!" Lisa burst out. She opened her mouth to say something else, but Sue Li shoved her, making her fall silent, glaring at Hermione.
"And after your Head of House did nothing to stop your bullying," Hermione said, her eyes sliding over Professor Flitwick, "only encouraged you all to 'get along', it seems that someone took exception to your treatment of Luna and wanted to put a stop to it."
"You seem to have a keen insight as to what happened, Miss Granger," Dumbledore said. "Why might that be?"
"Deducing a motive when it's obvious isn't 'keen insight'," Hermione sniffed. "They bullied Luna; an apparition of Luna fought back. That's fairly obvious to me, Professor."
Draco stifled a snort; Snape shot him a sharp look.
"Regardless of reasons behind the attack, the face of the matter remains that these girls were attacked," Dumbledore said, "by ten copies of Miss Lovegood."
"Surely you don't believe this drivel, Headmaster?" Snape drawled. "Ten of Miss Lovegood? The world can scarcely stomach one. And unless there has been a breakthrough development in magical charms and cloning techniques, what these girls describe is impossible."
"And yet," Dumbledore said calmly, "I believe what they say happened."
Hermione and Draco exchanged a dark look.
"There are other ways this might have happened, Severus," Dumbledore told him, giving him a significant look. "Both Miss Granger and Mister Malfoy are particularly innovative when it comes to magic, I am told."
"I know what you are implying, Albus, and I have no knowledge of them doing anything of the sort," Snape said flatly. "Not only would that be highly beyond the skillset of second-years, but surely they would have come to me for help, the resident Potions Master and their Head of House."
"Is that so?" Surprise flickered across Dumbledore's face.
"Albus, am I to understand you suspect Miss Granger and Mister Malfoy of these nefarious deeds?" Professor McGonagall asked. "Severus said they had an alibi!"
"They say they were playing Exploding Snap, along with the rest of their second-year class," Dumbledore acknowledged, "all ten of them."
There was a pause.
"Am I to understand," McGonagall said finally, "that you suspect second-years of transfiguring themselves into copies of Luna Lovegood, cursing these girls with all sorts of difficult hexes, and banishing their clothing?"
"I thought we don't learn banishing until fourth year," Luna commented, looking at Professor Flitwick.
Flitwick shrugged helplessly. "You don't," he admitted.
"Are you accusing us of anything, Headmaster?" Hermione asked.
"Yes, are you?" Draco wanted to know. "If I'm being unjustly accused of something, I want to summon my father. He's a School Governor – I'm sure he'd come up here and help us sort all this out."
"Nobody is accusing anyone of anything," Dumbledore assured them, moving away from his desk into the center of the room. "Not just yet."
He glanced at Hermione, who met his eyes defiantly, and abruptly, she was awash in a blaze of fire, being burned alive.
It was as if she was trapped in a sandstorm of fire, flames swirling around her and blowing by her, flickering and burning across her skin. It took her a moment to realize she wasn't being harmed, and despite the pain, somehow the pain didn't actually hurt. She could barely see through the blaze of flickering flames, but when she did, it was to see pale, bespectacled blue eyes attempting to peer through the haze of fire at her.
A moment later she was back on her feet, shaken, and Hermione subtly clutched Snape's arm hard to maintain her balance. Snape shifted, as if he had been the one who caused her to move, and Hermione braced herself as Dumbledore took another step forward to glance at Draco.
Now, suddenly, she was plunged into icy cold water encased in ice, a thick sheet of polar glacier separating her from the Headmaster, whose eyes she could fuzzily make out on the other side. She watched as the Headmaster blinked a few times in surprise, before abruptly Hermione was on her feet again, dry and able to breathe.
"What a mystery we seem to have on our hands," Dumbledore was murmuring, as Hermione attempted to collect herself.
"Indeed." Snape's tone was dry.
Dumbledore surveyed them all for a few long moments.
"Miss Li, Miss Turpin, and Misses Quirke, Amano, and Arncliffe," he finally said, turning to the Ravenclaw girls. "Miss Lovegood's story has been verified by several independent sources. Please know that although I understand why you suspect her of attacking you, she did not."
Sue Li scowled but stayed silent.
"Miss Lovegood," Dumbledore said, turning to her. "I understand you are innocent. I apologize for the suspicion, but I trust you understand why the circumstances demanded it."
"Oh, sure, Professor," Luna said, her blue eyes wide and guileless. "I would have suspected me too. Though, I don't know how to turn myself into more than one person…" She trailed off, looking at the ceiling. "That would certainly make homework go faster, and wouldn't really be cheating, would it, if they're all of me?"
"Human duplication isn't possible, Miss Lovegood," Professor Flitwick gently chided, and Luna blinked at him.
"Oh," she said sadly. "That would have been a fun thing to know."
Dumbledore turned to face the Slytherin contingent, Snape staring him down with a raised eyebrow.
"I seem to remember us being in a similar situation not all that long ago," Snape said, folding his arms, "where it was three Gryffindors under suspicion, Headmaster. And what was it you said then?"
Dumbledore suddenly looked very old.
"'Innocent until proven guilty, Severus'," he said, and it took Hermione a moment to realize Dumbledore was quoting himself. With a last look over her and Draco, Dumbledore nodded. "You all may go."
"Don't know why I was under suspicion in the first place," Draco grouched.
"Albus, this is madness!" Flitwick objected. "We can't just give up and stop investigating! Five of my students were attacked!"
Snape was pressing gently on her and Draco's backs, trying to lead them out, but anger flared within Hermione, and she stepped around to look at Flitwick.
"If I might make a suggestion?" she said delicately.
All eyes turned to her, and she drew herself up.
"Terrible attacks have been happening all over the school with no known cause, and all us terrified students have been told to just accept it and carry on," Hermione said, folding her arms.
"None of your house has been attacked," Lisa Turpin interrupted.
"Yet." Hermione shot Lisa a nasty look. "At least with this attack, your students are still conscious, cogent, and moving. And this one, unlike the other attacks, has a clear, preventable solution – don't allow your students to bully each other again."
"I don't appreciate your tone, Miss Granger," Professor Flitwick said, upset.
"My apologies, Professor," Hermione said, bowing her head. "Forgive me; I am just frustrated from seeing my dear friend harassed countless times over the semester with her Head of House not helping." She glanced to Luna. "Perhaps in her helplessness, Luna's magic reached out in her sleep and spoke to the magic of Hogwarts, which decided such injustice could not go unpunished."
Flitwick made a sort of surprised squawking noise, and Snape grabbed Hermione by her collar.
"Well put, Miss Granger," he said silkily. He nodded to Flitwick. "I will leave you to handle your charges, Filius. Miss Granger, Mister Malfoy, with me."
Snape led them down from the Headmaster's tower by means of a stone spiraling staircase that ground against the rest of the castle. Giving both of them a sharp look, Snape led them down back into the dungeons. He passed the Slytherin common room, and Hermione and Draco exchanged a look as he led them to his office.
With a wand gesture, the door unlocked, and Snape opened it.
"Inside."
Hermione and Draco went inside.
The room was dark for a moment until the torches and candles sprang to life, and Hermione was surprised to see that there were still two chairs in front of his desk – the original one, and the one she had duplicated. It was convenient, she mused as she took one, as Draco took the other, now that there happened to be two students here.
Snape sat down in his chair behind his desk. He regarded them both for a long moment, eyes glittering.
"Miss Granger," he said. "Mister Malfoy. Would either of you care to explain?"
Draco and Hermione exchanged a glance.
"Whatever weirdness happened tonight, sir, might have been strange, but we're certainly not upset by it," Draco said carefully, looking at Hermione. "Luna Lovegood is under Slytherin's protection. If the Spirit of Slytherin manifested inside Hogwarts and decided to protect her—"
"Cut the act," Snape snapped. "I know it was you two."
He glared at them both, and Hermione fought not to flinch.
"Explain," he said again, gritting his teeth, and Hermione figured it was her turn now.
"With all due respect, sir," she ventured, "wouldn't you prefer to maintain plausible deniability?"
Snape's eyes widened slightly, before narrowing at her thoughtfully.
"Albus has already gotten what he could from us," Snape said carefully. "I do not anticipate him attempting to accuse or interrogate any of us again. But nevertheless, Miss Granger…." His eyes slid to Hermione, who squirmed under his gaze, "…even if he did, I assure you, a Master Occlumens would not need 'plausibility deniability' to keep the Headmaster from knowing what he knew."
"Oh," said Hermione. "I didn't think of that."
"You mean we could have asked you for help this whole time?" Draco said, his jaw hanging open. He turned to look accusingly at Hermione. "You said he couldn't know!"
"Knowing what students are doing and actively endorsing it are two different things, Draco," Hermione informed him. She turned back to Snape, nodding at him respectfully. "Though Professor Snape may quietly approve of what we did, I suspect by virtue of his position he could not have helped us with it if he knew."
Snape raised his eyebrows.
"You are a savvy little thing, aren't you, Miss Granger?" His sarcasm was cutting. "Draco, Miss Granger is correct – I cannot help you misbehave if I know you are misbehaving."
"Even if it's for the honor of Slytherin House?" Draco pressed.
"He can protect us, but we have to do the work," Hermione told him. "It's like Jade said the first night here – rule number two is 'don't get caught'. So long as he has plausible deniability, he'll protect us."
Snape gave Hermione an odd look.
"Is that the welcome speech that Miss Rince has been giving the first years?" he asked dryly.
Hermione winced.
"Well, it works?" she ventured. "Us not getting caught makes your life much easier, doesn't it, Professor?"
Snape looked at them both for a long moment before sighing and pinching the bridge of his nose tightly.
"Now is not the time to discuss such matters," he said. "Now is the time for you to explain."
Draco glanced at Hermione.
"Um. It seems like you've already figured it out, sir," Draco said. "We made the Polyjuice Potion, and we got all of the second years to—"
"You made it?" Snape said sharply. "You didn't get it?"
"Draco misled you about the letter from his father," Hermione said, wincing. "Theo and I made the potion together in an abandoned classroom in the lower levels."
Snape closed his eyes and pinched his nose.
"Of course you did," he said. His eyes flickered open. "How did you get the recipe?"
"Conned Lockhart into signing a pass for the Restricted Section," Hermione said promptly.
Draco snickered, and even Snape's eyes glinted at that.
"And you two were able to prepare it successfully?" he questioned.
"It went perfectly," Hermione said, proud. "It was difficult, but everything worked masterfully. I duplicated copies of Luna's robes and tie and clothes, and we were all ready at the same time. We sent Pansy out ahead to lure them into the confrontation, hit them with a Dazzling Hex as we all jumped out from a classroom, and dueled them. At the end, we just hit them with another Dazzling Hex as everyone hid back inside again, and I Banished their clothes at the end."
"I thought I detected the flair of your magic when their clothes came fluttering into the Great Hall on a breeze," Snape commented, and Hermione flushed. "I presume you just asked Miss Lovegood for the hairs?"
"Yes," Hermione said. "She just cleaned her brush out. It was easy, really."
Snape looked at them both for another moment.
"Dueling in the halls and stripping your classmates naked are definitively against the rules," he said finally. "I do not want to hear of any such accusations against you again, do you understand?"
I do not want to hear any such accusations, her mind echoed his words. "I understand completely, sir," she said promptly. "You won't hear of any such accusations again, I assure you."
Snape's eyes glinted, letting her know he'd understood her understanding, and he turned to Draco. "And you?"
"I got it, I got it," Draco grumbled. "No getting caught again, I know."
"That is not what I said."
"And we didn't get caught," Hermione objected, giving Draco a dirty look. "We were under suspicion."
"And you are very lucky that the two Slytherins the Headmaster decided to summon and pin his suspicions on are the two Slytherins that just so happen to be immune to the Headmaster's casual mind probes," Snape said pointedly.
Hermione bit her lip, while Draco shrugged carelessly.
"What?" he said. "Like he was going to call in Goyle?"
Snape's lips twitched, and Hermione stifled a giggle.
"Regardless," Snape said. His eyes gleamed. "That was impressive magic Slytherin House displayed tonight. I would give you House Points, but I would be called upon to explain what they were for."
"Thank you, sir," Hermione said, flushing with pleasure. Snape was pleased with her again, and even if it was for committing revenge and not getting caught, his approval made her feel warm and happy.
"Thank you, sir," Draco said, nodding. "Can we go?"
"You are dismissed," Snape acknowledged. "Have a good holiday, you two."
Draco and Hermione made their way back to the common room, where the rest of their class promptly descended upon them.
"Did they get you?" Theo demanded. "Did Dumbledore know?"
Hermione gave Theo a mischievous smile.
"He suspected," she said, "but he could neither find nor prove anything."
Theo looked impressed and suspicious, but the rest of her classmates let out a cheer.
"Oh, we were convinced you were doomed when Snape stormed in to grab the two of you!" Tracey said, grabbing Hermione's hands. "We were so anxious – why would we be suspected at all to start with?"
"Because we're Slytherins, Tracey," Millie said, folding her arms. "Isn't that always it, with Dumbledore?"
"That was brilliant, though," Blaise said, grinning. "Did you see the looks on their faces when we all jumped out?"
"Orla just about pissed herself—!"
"I never heard girls scream like that before!"
"I got to hex Sue Li, that righteous bitch—"
Hermione and Draco looked out over the cacophony of their classmates happily reliving their victory, before they exchanged a look and a smile together. It was a nice feeling, Hermione reflected; she felt like she'd led her classmates to a momentous victory in battle, as if they'd fought a tiny war against the bullying Ravenclaw girls. And the whole class had united together for a common cause, to boot.
Yes, Hermione reflected, smiling at all her classmates, even exchanging a smirk with Pansy. Being a successful leader felt good.
Eight hours later, Lilian Travers was found petrified in the hall outside the Slytherin dungeons, and all hell broke loose.