ACT 1 – DISCOVERY
Chapter 14 – The Medical Review
Teyla had intended to stay in Central Station just long enough to update Halling and Si on the latest situation with the Hives and report on her and Isen's overnight analysis of the derelict investigations to date. However, out of nowhere, the nausea had abruptly resurfaced.
She had felt fine all night through her shift, but suddenly now she was almost overwhelmed by the rising sensation in her throat and the rolling unsettled motion of her stomach. Standing almost frozen in place at the tactical display table had felt all she could risk doing.
Just the idea of moving had felt too provocative for her stomach.
Then the sixth Hive had appeared on sensors and she had fixated her attention on the new dot and the discussion around the display table. That had helped somewhat.
And she'd stayed that way since, all of her attention locked on those six dots in their ring formation on sensors, unmoving now for what might have been hours. She'd lost all concept of time as she'd focused her entire being on simply not doing anything that might cause her to empty her stomach all over the display table.
Why was her stomach suddenly so much worse this morning?
She'd not felt this bad since the initial days after she'd eaten the Satedan stew and before she'd started the medication.
Perhaps her long shift was to blame? She worked most of yesterday and all of the nightshift, so she…the obvious hit her: she'd not taken her usual morning dose of her medication.
Surely that was the reason.
She need only excuse herself and retire to her quarters, take the late dose and go to bed. Then she'd, in theory, wake up feeling much better.
If only her stomach would settle enough for her to unfreeze her body and move away from the support of the tactical display table.
As if hearing her intentions, she felt her stomach shift again and suddenly saliva seemed to fill her mouth. Cautiously, praying inwardly to any Ancestor who might be listening, she carefully swallowed.
If she was sick, that would remove her from the mission. The others, especially Halling and Si, would force her off-rotation.
She just needed her medication.
Everything would be fine.
"Sythus, Sensor Platform," Commander Teije's voice over audio link cut through the subdued quiet of Central Station. "The Hives are moving."
She was aware of the increase in tension around the table, but she kept her gaze locked on the dots which, on delayed update, only now started to move.
"Receiving the data, Commander," Halling replied to Commander Teije from her right, his voice seeming rather distant outside her near-tunnel-vision locked on the dots.
Her stomach rolled again and she licked her lips, which felt suddenly dry and uncomfortable.
There was a small bathroom just outside Central Station; she could make it there quickly…hopefully.
But just the idea of moving right now…
"They are forming into a spread arrow formation," Commander Teije reported from the air above Teyla.
She suddenly registered some sharp pain in her left hand and realised she was clutching the edge of the display table so tightly that it was biting into her palm and fingers. She forced herself to relax her hand to relieve the pressure and pain.
Somehow the air felt both hot and cold against her face, her cheeks feeling empty of blood as she blinked at the dots forming the aforementioned arrow.
A standard formation for jumping to hyperspace, she made herself analyse as she felt some bile rising in her throat.
"They're preparing to jump into hyperspace," Jobrill voiced Teyla's thoughts.
"Commander Teije," Halling called loudly up into the air, "will you be able to detect their angle of entry into hyperspace with the gravitational sensors?"
The feeling of rising bile threatened its way up Teyla's gullet.
"Yes, we should be able to detect the waves created by the force of the hyperspace jump," Teije replied the pleasing news.
She felt a faint pressure in her upper chest and a silent passing of air burped up from her throat.
Then she felt somewhat better.
She released out a long controlled out-breath, feeling her shoulders relaxing a fraction.
Her forehead still felt clammy and cold though.
This was no good at all. She clearly needed to go to the Healing Bay for more of the medication. She had been foolish not to have gone sooner, afraid of the prospect of blood tests that could risk her place on the mission. She had been feeling better when she'd increased the medication dosage again, but she was fast using up her residual supply of the meds. Clearly she was going to need more. Once she'd finally gotten to her quarters and slept, she'd book an appointment with the Healing Bay.
Perhaps they could even give her something stronger.
She couldn't be this vulnerable and unhelpful to the others. As a Seeker, she was especially important for this hunt mission; but, she couldn't let the others down by shying away from the Healing Bay. For all they knew, the Wraith were preparing to jump into hyperspace in this direction at any moment. Even while so far away, the Hives were still a threat and could be coordinating an attack with other gatherings for all they knew.
If that happened, she had little faith in herself to be able to respond appropriately.
That was disturbingly new for her.
Should the attack alarm blaze to life right now, all she felt capable of doing was sliding to the floor and holding onto the base of the display table.
"They are jumping away," Commander Teije reported abruptly. "Confirmed; all Hives left together. We are running the directional data now, Honoured Elite. Give us two minutes."
"Understood, Commander," Halling replied.
In the centre of the tactical display screens, all six dots abruptly disappeared from the delayed feed.
"All left together," Jobrill repeated from somewhere to Teyla's right, but she couldn't risk turning her head in case that caused the nausea to peak again. For now, the bile remained in her stomach and away from her throat. She risked swallowing some saliva again.
Her throat felt a little sore as she did, but nothing bad happened.
"A successful gathering for them," Si intoned. "Leaving to battle together perhaps."
"But in this direction?" Halling voiced the prominent outstanding question.
"Sythus, Valse," Commander Ara's voice added into the air. "We have this half of the Hunt Fleet ready to move on your order."
"We are the same," Halling replied, his voice turning away as he no doubt looked round to the Pilots for confirmation.
Teyla's stomach shifted and then finally seemed to settle.
She didn't trust it though.
Her entire body felt sweaty and weak, but she risked moving just her eyes, seeking out the time displayed at the centre of the table. As she'd not looked at it in quite some time, she had no frame of reference for when Commander Teije's requested two minutes had started, but she could see that it was late morning now. That meant she had been awake almost an entire day-night cycle.
She'd, of course, been awake that long before, and far longer, in her career, but clearly her stomach did not approve. Sleep and rest were just as important as battle, she knew that, had had that drilled into her by her Elite training. Rest, even if only captured in brief moments of still meditation or simply lying flat for awhile, were vital recharging moments for the body. She'd denied herself that while her stomach was still unwell and-
"Sythus, Sensor Platform," Commander Teije's voice cut through that thought and she lifted her gaze up sharply from the screens without thinking. Fortunately, her stomach didn't react. "We have run the results through the computer systems and have three likely directions of the Hives' flight. We are sending through the analysis now."
Teyla dropped her eyes back to the sensor screen and the six dots reappeared, this time with various figures, angles and calculations set around them. However, it was the three projected lines of flight that drew her eye. The differences between them were probably still quite large on the galactic scale, but all of the projected lines clearly pointed off to the far top right of the screen.
Away from the Hunt Fleet's direction.
Teyla let out a breath of relief.
She could leave for bed now for certain…once she could move.
"Further into Wraith-held space," Halling reported out loud, his own relief obvious in his voice.
"And well away from the Alliance local border," Jobrill added with a loud sigh.
The tension around the display table, and perhaps also among the listening crew on duty on Central Station, dissipated away.
"Good news, though we must consider the chance they are regrouping elsewhere," Halling added a dash of restraint.
"I suggest then that we hold position with this half of the Fleet with the Sensor Platform ship," Si stated, "to keep a close eye on the gravitational sensors while the Valse continues on to investigate the next derelict."
"It will take us approximately four hours in hyperspace flight to pass your half of the Fleet and reach #13 drifter from our current position," Commander Ara stated from the Valse. "We can depart immediately." The Satedan urgency to continue pursuing the mission clear in her voice.
"That would keep the two halves of the Hunt Fleet within two hours of each other," Jobrill stated.
Teyla's stomach rolled a tiny fraction again but then, like rainclouds parting to reveal the warmth of the sun, everything seemed to calm and settle.
Without instructing it, she felt her entire body relax; her muscles and nervous system seeming to believe her stomach this time.
"I agree," Halling agreed. "Emmagan?"
Teyla looked round, forcing herself to smile. "I do as well." Her voice sounded gratefully stronger than she'd expected.
For a moment, Halling's eyes held hers with more focus than was necessary.
She prayed she did not look as awful as she had been feeling.
"Agreed then," Halling looked away. "Commander Ara? Begin your jump to #13 drifter as you see fit."
"Understood, Honoured Elite," Ara replied. "We will leave in two minutes' time."
Teyla carefully looked round and down again to the time display, no rising sickness sensations at all now, but she felt heavy tiredness creeping up her limbs.
She slowly released her grip of the side of the display table and she eased her weight fully onto her feet again.
"I will retire to bed then," she announced to the table, making herself smile again as she looked up and around at the others.
Si nodded briefly to her but dropped his attention back down to the displays, and Jobrill was running hyperspace calculations on the Valse's jump, but Halling did meet her eyes. He nodded, his subtle smile suggesting that it was indeed a good idea that she rested finally.
She squashed a flash of embarrassment and nodded to him.
She turned away, taking a brief moment to will her body to be okay, and walked away from the table. Fortunately, her legs did as she requested and she made it to the hatchway without incident. As she stepped into the corridor outside Central Station, she let out a more relaxed breath of relief.
The appointment with the Healing Bay was definitely necessary, but right now her bed was a distant draw. Ketra was in the Hydroponics Bay, but she would be fine in there for longer.
Teyla just needed to get to her medication and then to her bed to sleep.
Blissful wonderful sleep….
000000
The medical review tests had gone on much longer than Oneakka had expected, but he'd completed every task successfully. The Lead Physical Therapist had been there, along with two other main Therapists who had been part of his recovery. He'd been pleased at the thorough attention, though the tests had included far more than he'd had to do before for medical reviews. Though, admittedly, he'd never been impaled right through before, so it made sense.
Everything had started with simple tests like whether he could touch his toes, which was admittedly not one of his stronger skills after the injury, but he could reach his shins, which was better than some larger bulked warriors could do on their best days. Then he'd had to move a collection of items from one end of the Rehab Gym to the other, picking one up at a time and walking them across the gym and setting them down. The items had varied in size and weight, clearly designed to test his range of strength and endurance. He'd managed it fine, ensuring he had done everything at a controlled pace.
From there they'd asked for more standard tests, including balancing on one leg at a time, his knee held up to his front, then out to the side and then behind him. He'd felt himself wobble a bit on those, but he'd not put his foot down once. Then they'd had him do lunges, reaches, and he'd had to climb the wooden frame fixed to the wall. He'd done all that easily, making sure they'd been able to see how casually he could do those tasks.
After that, he'd been moved onto the weight machines and running machine. He'd kept to the paces and weights they'd set for him, but he knew he could do far more. He'd thrown in a few extra reps on the weights than they'd asked for just to make the point. On the bench-press, they'd set the weight-bar far below what he could now lift, so he'd made sure to do a good handful of extra reps on that too.
After that things had taken a slightly more unusual route. They'd walked from the Rehab Gym to the largest Recruit Training Gym. It had been empty, the chilled air of the massive cave-like Gym smelling of years of built up sweat in there. He'd worried the visit was to use the long obstacle course stretching around the Gym, its mud pits partly to blame for the dank smell, but the Therapists had instead taken him to the massive staircase built against the far wall. It led right up to the high-rise ceiling, where a series of platforms were used for Recruit base jumping and rappel training, as well as for tolerance of heights exercises.
At their instruction to climb up the stairs to the uppermost landing and come back down, he'd started easily up the steps by himself. As well as climbing stairs, he suspected it had also been a test designed to see if he was afraid of heights after his fall.
About halfway up he had felt the burn in his thighs, probably not helped by his hours of walking yesterday, but he had done it. And he'd been careful to walk right in the middle of the staircase to show that he didn't need to put a hand on the wall or the handrail for support.
He'd forgotten how high the towering staircase had been and it had taken surprisingly long to get up to the top. There he'd stepped out onto the uppermost landing and looked down across the Gym to show that he had no fear of the height. He couldn't remember much detail of his fall inside the Rogue Hive anyway, so the height wasn't an issue for him. Admittedly, the show of taking in the view had also given him a moment to let his muscles and middle rest before he'd started back down the steps.
The tightness of his wound site had been immediately apparent as he'd started down the steps, but he'd made sure not to show it and he'd not paused once in the process. Despite the instinct to reach for the support of the handrail as the tight, inflexible sensation inside his wound grew louder, he'd still made it down the steps without touching the handrail or wall. When he'd reached the bottom of the stairs, he'd made sure to show he was not out of breath and was standing strong.
But the Physical Therapists had had more. They'd had him do a standard training sequence which involved getting down to the floor into a push-up position, doing two push-ups, then bringing your feet up to your hands and standing up, then repeat. He'd been a tad slow in getting down to the floor, but he'd completed five of the sequences before they'd asked him to stop.
Then it had finally finished.
He had been given an hour to have a shower before the review meeting with the Lead Physical Therapist.
Pleased that he'd completed everything, he'd really enjoyed the nice hot shower in his quarters. Parts of him ached, but that was normal nowadays for him, and he was going to ache so much more once he was sparring again. Now dried and dressed in fresh clothes, he picked up his electronic pad and considered the time. It was still a quarter of an hour until he had to leave for the review appointment. He tapped into the main Gyms' schedule. Once he'd been signed off from the review, he'd be able to finally use the non-Rehab Gyms again. He called up the schedule for the sparring Gyms. There were a few open spaces still this afternoon. He really wanted to book one of them, but he was forbidden from doing so.
That wasn't the case with many of the other Elite, but after he'd broken the rules a few times when he'd been a younger man, Meiyo had put the restriction on his Beacon to prevent him from accessing the main Gyms while he was on any medical non-rotation. Despite the years that had passed since he'd had that restriction put on him, Meiyo had never agreed to the rule being lifted for him, but that was fine. As soon as he was cleared from the review, he'd be able to book one of the sparring slots. He'd make sure the Physical Therapist took off the Beacon restriction during his appointment so he could book one of the Gym slots as soon as possible.
Tapping out of the schedule, Oneakka pulled up the new list he'd created last night while he'd been sat alone with the goats. Belka had settled down next to him, her head on his leg, as he'd put together the list of all the weapons he'd need to recertify on. He'd arranged the list from easiest to recert to those that would take time. Knife-throwing was at the top as it had always been the easiest for him - he'd held the highest scores all through his Recruit years - and then energy and projectile weapon recert. His aim would not have changed, so he'd probably be able to recert on them by the end of today. The other more physical weapons, like swords and-
A loud bleep from his wallscreen announced an incoming link call. He set down the pad and crossed the short distance to the wallscreen, tapping in his code to get through his extra level of security to see the displayed announcement.
It was Jin Arezou.
Oneakka immediately opened up the link, worried that something had happened for the elder male to call him so soon after a visit.
However, Jin's smiling face filled the screen, immediately confirming that all was well.
"Akane Son," Jin grinned.
"Everything alright, Jin?" Oneakka checked though to be sure.
"Of course," Jin dismissed the question. "I have found some things from Seeal's old pit fighting days already, none of them with her stats yet, but she'll recognise the locations and enjoy these posters and images I'm sure. I'm sending the scans through now."
"Okay," Oneakka agreed, surprised Jin was sending them to him and not straight to Raven. He saw the screen present the data ready to accept. He tapped in confirmation and it began downloading. "You can send all of this through to Seeal yourself," Oneakka pointed out. "You two have already been in communication since our visit."
Jin smiled. "Which is indeed the primary reason for my link."
"Oh?" Oneakka asked.
"I wanted to make sure you know that I include Seeal within my promise to you that I will not to discuss Akane and your family's life."
"I know you will keep your word," Oneakka smiled at him, grateful for the clarification.
"Good. I will, however, share plenty of stories of your young boyhood," Jin added with a smile and Oneakka rolled his eyes, but he was alright with that. "As Seeal is clearly interested. She is a very lovely woman."
Oneakka nodded.
"One you do not want to lose, Akane Son," Jin added with a firm and obvious tone.
Oneakka resisted the urge to sigh and roll his eyes again. "Seeal and I are friends, Jin," he repeated what he'd already explained to Jin yesterday during the visit.
Jin was the one to sigh heavily though as he shook his head. "Akane would not approve."
Oneakka froze at the mention of Father. "What?"
"Your father was a very decisive man when it came to wooing. I remember well when he set his sights on wooing your mother. Not that there was much that could have stopped those two, well, you know that being their ninth child."
This conversation had taken a strange turn.
"There is no wooing, Jin," Oneakka explained clearly. "I'm an Elite warrior."
"Well, I approve."
"I've been an Elite for a long time, Jin."
"I mean I approve about Seeal," Jin replied. "Beautiful, intelligent, and one darn good fighter, I can tell you, Akane Son."
"Yes, I've seen her fight," Oneakka told him. Up close and personal in fact, and not just physically. He'd had more than one heated argument with her. The female gave little ground on either battlefield.
"Well, thank you for seeking my approval," Jin stated.
"Approval?" Oneakka frowned. "I brought Seeal to see you because she wanted to meet you again. No other reason."
He was pretty sure that was true.
"You do not want to lose a good woman like that, Akane Son."
Jin was clearly not hearing him.
"I have to go, Jin," Oneakka stated calmly, deciding it was best to just end the conversation. "I have to leave for my medical review for returning to battle-training shortly."
Jin looked pleased though. "Good, good. You looked very well yesterday."
"Thank you, Jin."
"Though you need some more weight on you. You'll make sure Seeal receives those scans I sent you?" Jin asked with an authoritative tone.
"Yes, Jin," Oneakka promised him. "I'll send them to her as soon as we finish this link."
"Tell her I have far more in storage to search through still," Jin added and Oneakka nodded. "Now, if you want to join Seeal on her visits to see me, you are always welcome to come too."
Visits? Plural already?
"Okay," he replied simply.
"Take care of yourself and that fine woman," Jin waved at him through the screen as if they were in the same place.
"Goodbye, Jin," Oneakka smiled firmly as he reached up to end the link, only to notice that Jin was smiling at him funnily as the screen cut off.
Whatever. He tapped onto the block of scan data Jin had sent, attaching it quickly to a text link to Raven. He'd not heard from her since she'd left the Canteen yesterday evening, but that was fine. She'd wished him good luck for the medical review and asked him to let her know how it had gone. He typed a simple message to her, explaining what Jin had told him. That would be plenty.
He kind of wanted to ask how the experiment had gone yesterday evening.
Whether Smee had stuck round and walked her back to her quarters.
Whether anything else had happened.
He frowned at the empty space on the text link.
No, gaining some distance from her was the entire point from today.
He simply signed off the text link with his name and sent it.
Then, he reached out to the screen again and sent her another one of the emergency Portal address tests. He'd not sent her a test yesterday evening, so he reduced the time it took to pass the test down a bit to add some pressure. He could almost hear the predicted muttering that would cause.
Pleased with that, he shutdown the wallscreen and picked up his pad. It was time enough to leave for the review appointment. He slid the pad into his pocket and headed out of his quarters. He was a few metres down the corridor when the pad bleeped. He pulled it out to see a reply text link from Raven. She complained about the test's time limit, which made him chuckle as he walked, then she thanked him for the scans from Jin and finished with a question about his review. He typed back that the tests were complete and he was on his way to the review appointment now.
This was fine and would be how they'd communicate more going forward; less time around her and more time just maintaining the friendship in text links, maybe even via live link calls when he was stationed back on the Sythus. Which reminded him… he called up the latest reports on the Skerti hunt, but there was no update at all. Still under silent running.
With his lazy walking pace, he'd arrived at the Healing Bay in perfect time. As he made his way through the side corridors that led to the area dedicated to physical therapy, he pulled out his pad again and added the Recruit training staircase to his list of 'weapons' recerts; it would do him good to practice that massive set of stairs again. Get his speed up and work on the tighter restriction in his wound site while walking down the steps.
The Lead Physical Therapist was already in his office when Oneakka arrived at his open door and the male gestured to a waiting chair. Oneakka settled down in the chair as the Lead Therapist set aside some larger medical pads and picked up one that had been set in the centre of the large busy desk. Considering his work was on physical therapy, Oneakka was surprised at the massive size of the male's desk. Glancing over it as the male tapped awake what was clearly Oneakka's own medical pad and results, Oneakka considered the cluttered desktop. Piles of medical pads were stacked among a large pile of folded resistance bands, jump ropes and several large foam blocks used for support in balances and floor work.
"How are you feeling, Honoured Elite?" The Lead Therapist asked with obvious preliminary small talk.
"Good," Oneakka confirmed across the littered desk. "The recovery has gone very well."
The Lead Therapist nodded as he dropped his attention to the medical pad. "We have tallied all your tests this morning and the latest of your body scans, and I have discussed the results with your daily Therapists and the Surgical Healer who worked on your initial post-battle operation."
Oneakka nodded. The male could just get through all this standard spiel.
"And I'm afraid that you have not passed your medical review today," the Therapist added.
Oneakka blinked, confused for a moment that he'd heard that correctly.
"What?!" He asked and the Therapist flinched in his seat. Realising he'd said that a little loudly, Oneakka made sure he used a more controlled tone as he asked "What do you mean I failed it?"
"I'm afraid that, in some areas, you just need more time in your recovery."
"What areas?" Oneakka demanded. "I can run as fast as I could before and I can lift almost the exact same weight from before my injury," he pushed.
"Yes, but you are moving those higher weights while sitting or lying in a braced position," the Therapist replied. "When you have to stand with your middle unsupported by a bench or chair, you struggle."
Struggle?!
"But it is in the areas of flexibility and endurance that you have your poorest scores," the Therapist continued. "Which is entirely expected," he added hurriedly, "given the injury you sustained. A little longer focused on those areas of weakness, and you should be ready to pass a further medical review in a couple of months hopefully."
"A couple of months?" Oneakka blurted and the Therapist shifted in his seat. "I can run around the Rehab Gym and do twice the number push-ups on your rest."
"I know, Honoured Elite," the Therapist nodded as he licked his lips, clearly uncomfortable. "But, recovery from the injury you sustained needs to address flexibility and endurance."
"I can regain those in sparring re-training," Oneakka pointed out.
"I am afraid you have to pass this review before you are allowed to move onto such training."
Oneakka made himself take a calming breath. "What about non-battle rotation work at least?" He asked.
"I'm afraid you have to pass this test first for even that."
"I can't even sit on a chair doing research?" He asked incredulous.
This was ridiculous.
The Therapist licked his lips again and took a shaky breath in.
"I want to talk to Meiyo," Oneakka decided. His personal Healer could override this stupidity for him.
"Healer Meiyo is aware of your results and agrees with the assessment."
"Get her in here," Oneakka ordered calmly but firmly.
The Therapist glanced towards a large pad set into the surface of his desk. "Healer Meiyo is still doing rounds, I believe."
"Then we'll wait."
"I will put a message through to her," the Therapist tapped on the pad, the screen showing a scheduling system for the Healing Bay.
If Meiyo was doing her rounds of her Healing Bay patients then it could be a wait, but Oneakka knew she would make some space for him. He only needed a few minutes of her time to point out the ridiculous conclusion of the review.
Oneakka glanced towards the medical pad the Therapist had set down as he worked on messaging Meiyo through the scheduling pad. "Show me the test results," Oneakka ordered as he reached a hand across the messy desk.
The Therapist didn't pause as he picked up the medical pad and handed it over. Good, Oneakka was entitled to see them anyway; after all, they were his results.
"It appears Healer Meiyo may be free, I'll go see." The Therapist got up and headed quickly towards the open door.
Oneakka ignored the hasty retreat and turned the pad and tapped it awake. The medical review overview, including his overall scores, was displayed on the screen.
His strength tests were high, as were his cardio level results, but the rest of the scores were all depressingly lower. He tapped into a section marked 'discomfort level'. They had marked him as 'uncomfortable' while moving the items across the Rehab Gym, in taking too long on that damn staircase and they'd even counted each time they'd seen him wince throughout the tests. He frowned at the embarrassing count of fourteen that they'd spotted. He remembered once or twice hiding a wince, but clearly he wasn't as good at hiding it as he'd thought. Unless he had successfully hidden those two and the count was then at least sixteen.
Not wanting to read anymore about discomfort, he tapped back into the main overview and then selected the 'flexibility' section, which held his lowest scores. He'd not even scored half the possible marks on any of the flexibility tests, and had barely gained any marks in two particular tests: twisting movements and climbing down the staircase.
He tapped back into the overview. At the top was the more technical summary analysis of his review, so he tapped into that.
Patient wound site is closed and damaged digestive organs fully healed. Abdominal and back muscle re-growth and reflex response is positive, indicating no loss of nerve function, but extensive internal scarring within the muscle layers has resulted in greatly diminished range of movement and flexibility. Further stages of treatment, along with intensive flexibility and endurance training, should lead to positive regaining of wider range of motion, but it is possible former elasticity of muscle fibres proximate to scar tissue may never be fully recovered.
Never be fully recovered?
Oneakka slumped back in his chair, a rush of clammy panic hitting him.
He read it through again. There was plenty that sounded positive: no nerve damage, his muscle re-growth was good. How could that mean he might never fully recover? No, the summary said it was "possible" that might happen, not that it would…
But, what if it did mean that?
A heavy weight of gloom abruptly threatened to shove him down through the chair.
He threw the medical pad the tiny distance back onto the Therapist's desk.
All his plans were ruined.
Returning to battle-rotation in two months was completely beyond him now. He was going to have to wait that long just to retake the medical review!
What if it took longer than that? Months more? Even an entire yearly cycle?
He realised that Meiyo had warned him of that during the early days of his injury, but he'd dismissed it. He'd been doing so well recently. How could he feel so strong again and not be deemed able to even sit in the damn security centre running communications and research? It made no sense.
His brain was fine; he had to be useful again.
Had to do something.
Well, apparently all he was allowed to do was 'intensive flexibility and endurance training'.
Meiyo's voice registered in the distance outside the open office door and Oneakka sat up straight again in his seat. Listening closely, he could hear her and the Lead Therapist sharing some indiscernible conversation, then footsteps heading this way.
Oneakka shifted his attention away to the wall opposite the door where there was a picture of a mountain range with a band of Recruits running up a steep slope. Oneakka knew the planet and the mountainside. He could barely even walk that now without wincing apparently.
Meiyo's footsteps arrived in the doorway and Oneakka looked round to see her closing the door. That was never a good sign.
He didn't miss the fact that the Lead Therapist hadn't joined them.
Oneakka didn't say anything though as he watched Meiyo circle round behind the Lead Therapist's desk, pausing to pick up the medical pad from the pile of resistance bands where Oneakka had thrown it.
She sat down in the Lead Therapist's chair, tapped the pad awake, and her eyes met his.
"These results are excellent for the injury you sustained," she stated.
"I failed the review," he pointed out the obvious.
"For a return to battle-training, Honoured Elite. That is a high bar to jump over. Your recovery so far is exceptional for your injury."
He sighed out a frustrated breath as he looked away. 'Exceptional' yet he'd failed?
A dejected heaviness started to burn in Oneakka's chest.
"Your cardio and strength results are very good," Meiyo noted as he heard her tapping through the pad's results. "But your flexibility in particular is just not good enough yet for sparring. You know that a warrior has to be at the height of their health with sparring."
"I can regain flexibility through training," he tried as he looked back round at her.
"Honoured Elite," she set her gaze on him with her Healer authority, "a warrior must easily pass all of these review tests to start training again. You are not there yet, but you will be. Just give it some time."
He glanced away again, battling against a wave of depressed feelings pressing in on him. The old enemy returning out of nowhere.
All his plans were gone.
But he couldn't argue against what she was saying; his scores were not even close to passing the medical review and he trusted Meiyo's opinion.
Getting back to sparring was clearly off the table for him for awhile.
"What about non-battle rotation?" He asked her. "I don't see why I can't do that. There is nothing wrong with my mind. I can do research, run missions from here in the Facility, I can sit down the entire time if you want. You know I'm fully capable of being useful in that way. I am an experienced Elite Warrior, my knowledge and strategy skills need to be used, even if my body isn't quite…ready yet." Surely she had to see that.
He held her gaze, showing her how important this was for him. Every warrior was needed in this war, especially now with the new added threat of the Skerti out there. He could at least be useful here in the Facility.
Meiyo glanced away as she set his medical pad aside, then she interlinked her fingers on the desk. Her gaze met his again with a strange look.
"There have been some other concerns raised," she said.
He frowned. What did that mean?
"What concerns?" he asked, dreading that there was some other bad news incoming. Had the Surgical Healer expressed some doubt about his scans? He'd been told he was healed up inside, the review report had said as much!
"You stopped engaging with the Mind Healer," Meiyo stated.
He screwed up his face at that. "I had three sessions with her," he replied, confused now.
He'd always attended the one mandatory talking therapy sessions with a Mind Healer after all his injuries, but he knew how to avoid and deflect questions from the Mind Healers. But this time, after his vision, he'd actually decided to talk with a Mind Healer. He'd talked about his family and about how he was feeling differently towards his home culture, his Ugun things in his quarters.
"You have refused to attend any more," Meiyo added.
"I've never been to that many sessions before," he reminded Meiyo. "How can you penalise me for going to more sessions than usual?"
This wasn't making any sense to him.
Meiyo nodded. "True, but it has been noticed that your mood has become an issue in the last few weeks."
What?
He struggled to think what she meant, well outside his usual leadership of his recovery. He'd always pushed his recovery faster than the Healers thought was possible. Even with this failed review, Meiyo had clearly been impressed with what he'd achieved.
"I know I can be…" he paused, trying to find the best description, "a little headstrong," he decided seemed good, "when I'm recovering from injury."
Meiyo smiled at the term as she nodded. She'd always understood his drive and had always been accommodating for him, even when having had to patch him up a few times after he'd pushed things too far in the past. This time though he'd been sensible, careful.
It hadn't gotten him anywhere though.
"I'm not referring to that," she said, her smile dropping away, her expression seeming purposefully calm and direct as she looked at him. "All the Physical Therapists have reported that your mood has become unpredictable over the last few weeks."
Unpredictable?
"You've been snapping at them, your mood changing abruptly, and you seem very distracted at times."
He had?
"Which was around the time you disengaged from the Mind Healer," Meiyo added.
Well that had nothing to do with anything. He'd discussed all he'd wanted to with the Mind Healer about Ugun, and then the thing with Raven had reared its head…
Now that he thought about it, he had, admittedly, been a little distracted about the situation with Raven of late. But he'd refocused all of that into driving his rehab sessions…which had been when his mood had reportedly been 'unpredictable'…
"I am concerned," Meiyo said in what was clearly a purposefully gentle voice, "that there is something wrong that you've not mentioned to us."
The only thing he'd not discussed with anyone was Raven and the dreams. The hormonal reactions that he had entirely under control.
Hadn't he?
"You know well," Meiyo continued, "that emotional and mental recovery are just as important as physical recovery."
"I know," he insisted.
"This injury was significant," she pushed, "and you barely survived. It is understandable that it would affect you."
He sighed with understanding. They thought he was having some sort of traumatic reaction to his injury. "I've had plenty of near-death brushes, Meiyo," he pointed out.
Plus, nothing, not even this recent injury, was even close to how bad it had been when he'd found out about his people and then suffered his subsequent facial injury when he'd destroyed that Wraith base and all in it for killing his people. Then the weeks in intensive care and long recovery afterwards.
Having to come to terms with the fact that he was the last Ugun alive.
Knowing that every Ugun, all those he'd loved and who had loved him, had died in terror and pain.
No other trauma since had ever come close to that.
And, as horrific as that near-death in his mid-teens had been, it had actually rather immunised him against the fear of death since. In fact, on that Rogue Hive, he'd welcomed its arrival once he'd known Halling was safe. When he'd heard the echoing strikes of Father's hammer on the anvil as he'd slipped willingly into the remembered field.
"Not like this," Meiyo disagreed with him. "Knowing that you died, even for the short time it took them to restart your heart, it should affect someone. But, ignoring that and forcing yourself into returning to battle-rotation too soon is not the answer. It is not how to deal with it."
That was far from the reason why he had pushed himself.
He wasn't sure how to explain to Meiyo how he was at peace with his recent 'death'. He'd only told Halling about his vision and about Father's sign through the guardian knife. It felt deeply personal and he now honestly felt nothing but a profound gratitude at having been able to 'see' his family again. And he'd been the one to actively choose to return to life…
Following the voices of his Whisperers; one of them Raven circling high above that field.
He let out an inward sigh. Back to Raven again.
Clearly this situation with her had affected him more than he'd realised if he'd been so noticeably distracted and moody around the Physical Therapists. Though, he conceded, they were trained medical staff, so perhaps it wasn't as obvious to anyone else. Hopefully.
A flush of embarrassment wrestled in among his shocked and dejected feelings.
Today was not going the way he had expected.
He looked back towards Meiyo to find her watching him closely, eyebrows raised, waiting for him to respond to her point.
"It has nothing to do with my injury," Oneakka uttered, feeling uncomfortable even admitting it out loud.
Meiyo's body language eased and he thought he saw some relief and victory in her nod. "So there is something that is bothering you."
He considered telling her about the dreams, but it felt immature and pathetic to admit it had all been playing on his mind too much.
"It's a…personal matter," he decided was the best way to summarise it.
And with that, he realised abruptly, all his plans to establish some distance between him and Raven was as ruined as his plan to return to battle-rotation in two months.
He rested back in his chair and glanced away, his eyes falling on the mountain image again. But the picture of the youthful, all physically capable and strong Recruits climbing up that mountainside only made him feel worse.
The experts weren't even sure he'd be able to fully recover.
He relented a bit against the depression, feeling its heaviness settling through him.
All he'd wanted was to return to his work.
Now that felt a distant hope.
"It's got nothing to do with my injury," he continued to Meiyo. "I don't see why it should stop me from at least doing non-battle-rotation duties here in the Facility."
If he could just do something…anything.
Meiyo let out a soft breath. "You know that an unpredictable mood is an unreliable warrior," she quoted a standard Elite saying. "Have you spoken with anyone about this issue? Perhaps with your female?"
Oneakka froze. His female?
What did she…?
Suddenly several little things he'd noticed about Meiyo's behaviour during his recent recovery took on a new light. How she had included Raven in his recovery discussions, even gone out of her way to reassure Seeal about his health.
She thought Raven was his female.
Admittedly he'd never had a female friend at his bedside so constantly through a recovery before, as Raven had sat with him for hours every single day. He could see how that could be misunderstood by Meiyo.
He should correct her.
"It's about Seeal," Oneakka found himself telling her instead, voicing Raven's name just to be sure he'd guessed correctly.
"Ah, I see," Meiyo nodded immediately. "You really did mean a personal matter," she smiled.
He nodded, feeling a little weird at still not having corrected her misunderstanding about him and Raven.
"Is it that you have ended matters with Seeal?" Meiyo asked, her tone and expression seeming politely cautious in asking the personal question.
"No," he replied. It wasn't a lie, because he and Raven weren't in that kind of relationship to end.
"Medically you are cleared for sexual activity," Meiyo added, "but if you have had any problems-"
Oh great, now she thought he had developed some sexual issue from his injury. "It's nothing like that," he interrupted her. "It's something that…will be resolved with time."
And distance, which was going to be so much more difficult to gain with Raven now.
Unless he just ended the friendship?
He wished that hormonal part of him didn't rebel so loudly and instantly at just that thought.
If he'd at least been able to work in the Facility he could have created some structure to his life again, naturally add that distance without losing Raven's friendship.
That he could be a useful Warrior again, not lost in pathetic emotional desires he didn't even want.
He'd have thought he'd have grown out of such reactions as an adult, but Raven just had a way of getting under his skin.
He looked to Meiyo, seeing her eyes on him, watching him closely. "I can work in just research or archiving, something where there's no pressure?" He tried to negotiate. "I'll work on my mood, I promise. I know that if I could return to doing some work it will help me focus."
Surely she could see the value in that?
He held her gaze, imploring her to help him.
She let out a breath, one eyebrow lifting and she reached for his medical pad again. He watched her tap away on its screen.
"You're due soon for your yearly break away?" She asked, looking up from the pad.
"In a week's time," he nodded, sensing perhaps some negotiation was possible here. "In fact, I know a Pelydrian Healer there, I could ask her for some treatment on my wound," he suggested. He'd never taken up the open invitation for Pelydrian healing before, but he knew it was powerful, knew Meiyo would respect and value it. If it could help him return to his work sooner…
Meiyo dropped her gaze to the pad. "Your weight is still lower than before your injury."
"I've been eating as much as I did before," he leaned forward a fraction, hope flickering among the depressed weight.
"I know you have regained considerable strength, but you need to eat a little more than you did before," Meiyo replied. "You are rebuilding muscle and need more food to regain that and your important lean fat stores."
He nodded.
"So I want you to increase your food a little," she ordered him and then peered up at him over the pad. "By which I do not mean just increasing sweet puddings."
He had no idea how she knew about his favourite type of food, but he worked hard not to look too guilty as he nodded. "I can do that."
She gave him a knowing smile. "I'll send you a recommended food plan."
"Okay," he agreed. He could guess much of what it would include, but it was a valid point and he'd not considered that perhaps his weight would have been another negative against his review outcome.
Or maybe she had thought he was eating less due to his 'personal issue'?
"I want you to have at least another two sessions with the Mind Healer," Meiyo added, her firmer tone returning.
He nodded. He'd talk about Ugun some more maybe.
Meiyo held his gaze with obvious doubt around her eyes.
"I promise I'll go to the sessions," he voiced out loud.
Meiyo kept her eyes on him. "If your weight improves and you go to the sessions, then, when you return from your break away, we'll discuss you perhaps returning to non-battle rotation work."
That was still three weeks away, but it was something. "Thank you," he told her.
"Tomorrow," Meiyo continued, "I'm scheduling you in with the Lead Physical Therapist to create a new recovery plan focusing on flexibility and endurance in particular."
He nodded as he watched her tapping into the desk's scheduling pad.
"And I'm booking us an appointment together for two days after you return from your break," she tapped away. "We'll assess where you are then and you are to have had both," she looked up from the pad, "Mind Healer sessions by that time."
"Okay," he nodded.
"There are some scar treatments we can try in the next week to help work on easing up the inflexible tissues around your wound," she added. "I'll book you in for a session on…" he watched her tapping away. It wasn't like he had a schedule to fit any appointment into right now. "In two days time, and then another two days later, before you leave on rotation-break."
He nodded, feeling his pad vibrating in his pocket as it received the scheduling.
Meiyo looked back to him. "And I suggest that you might want to talk through things with Seeal again?"
He nodded, but said nothing.
Meiyo tilted her head a fraction and smiled softly at him. "Do not worry about this review, Honoured Elite. Your recovery so far is admirable."
He knew what she was saying was true, but the depression had rallied against the small hope she'd offered for after his holiday away. "That review report says I may never fully recover," he blurted.
Meiyo reactivated his medical pad with a touch of her fingertips and paused, no doubt reading the spiel he'd seen. She looked back up to him. "It is true you may not regain your former full range of motion, but considering your naturally advanced flexibility and power, there is space for you to lose a little. This is not a sentence of failure and being removed from battle-rotation full time."
He studied her face, looking for signs of concealment, but he could only see honesty…and concern for him.
"You need to give yourself time," she added.
He nodded at the uncomfortable reality of that statement.
"Thank you, Meiyo," he told her, grateful for what she'd offered, even if it was far from what he'd thought he'd gain today.
It was clearly going to be a long time before he could book a slot in the sparring Gyms.
He had to accept that reality.
He just wished he didn't feel like he'd been punched in the chest and all his positive plans hadn't just been pulled out from under him.
0000
TBC