Legends of the Smoke Jaguars Chapter 18
"Geez boss, why'd ya want dese knuckle'eads?" Masha muttered.
"Yeah," Gut'twista sneered, "I can take em all meself, watch, I doze it now."
"You'ze do nothin ya jumped up snotlin'" Hed'breka growled, "I wants em, Dats da end of it."
"But why bother?" Masha whined.
It was a good question and a glance was enough to see why. All around the trio lurked the camp of the Snakebites, a rough and stinking collection of lean-to's and shanties. Ork constructions were hardly graceful affairs at the best of times but this was a total midden. Everything looked bashed together without thought, bits of bone and skin piled up to make crude shelters. There was no metal or stone on display, only the raw materials of Ork ecology, gristle bone and sinew making the base building material. Fungal Orkoid growths covered everything and Hed'breka reckoned the clingy fibres were the only thing holding most of the constructs together.
The Boyz themselves were altogether disappointing. In lazy sprawls Orks sat about, idly passing the time by picking their noses and cleaning their ears with a fingertip, often eating what they found. There was a strange lethargy over the scene, grots and squigs roaming about without fear of being swatted by a bigger hand. No machines rumbled in the background, no bikes roared to and fro, no guns fired into the air. In fact no signs could be seen of any mechanical activity, rare was the Boy who could claim a shoota and most contented themselves with a big choppa, made of sharpened bone. Such was the way of the Snakebites, primitive and basic, even the other klans reckoned they were a bunch of throwbacks.
"I just dun get it," Masha grumbled.
"Dey thick as two really thick thingies," Gut'twista agreed, "What gud are dey?"
"Quit yappin and use yur eyes, take a gander uvver dere," Hed'breka snapped.
Coming through the camp was a huge beast, twice as tall as the largest warboss and almost as broad. It walked on legs as thick as tree trunks, with a belly that nearly scraped the ground as it lumbered along. Its head was a solid mass of bone, with tiny eyes and fangs the size of a grown Ork. Huge tusks jutted from its jaw and atop its back was a rickety howdah, packed full of yapping grots. No mere overgrown squig, a mightier order of being entirely, a Squiggoth.
"Look at dat," Masha breathed in awe.
"An dey got loadsa em," Hed'breka agreed, "No git breeds Squiggoths like dere Snakebites."
Gut'twista raised his mechanical arms and cried, "I wanna pet it!"
"Don't do dat," Hed'breka growled.
"Wanna Boop the snoot!" Gut'twista yelped, "Boop the snoot!"
"It aint for pettin. Dat da meanest, hungriest bag o' bones you'ze ever see. Touch dat and it'll rip you out of dat tin kan and gobble you up, quicker dan a grot with da bad belly runnin for da bogs."
"Glad to 'ear you'ze knows respect!" came a thick growl from behind them. The Trio turned and found themselves confronted by a gang of Orks, all clutching choppas and spears with barbed heads. At the fore stood their boss, an Ork with a truly impressive gut and a huge jaw and one toof rammed straight through his nose. He was clad in Squiggoth bone armour, so thick it rivalled Hed'breka's own plate and he carried a spear carved out of a single tusk. This was Pigkilla, chief of this warband.
Hed'breka had thought he'd been insulted by the rising Warboss by ignoring his call, but looking at this camp it was more than likely they hadn't heard the vox squawking. Pigkilla commanded a huge warband of Orks, most if not all from the Snakebite klan, and enough Squiggoths to level a continent. Hed'breka wanted that force for his Waaagh, but their warboss was too full of himself by half.
Pigkilla grinned and said, "We all set up."
"Wat's your challenge?" Hed'breka pressed.
"You see," Pigkilla laughed, "Come and see."
He turned away and the others followed, chuckling under their breaths as the trio was lead to a corner of the camp. Here a wide circle had been staked out with bone fencing, surrounded by grinning Orks. Hed'breka looked through the gaps and saw a muddy pit, filled with yapping baby squigs, all bounding legs and sharp teeth, their mouths taking up more of their mass than anything else.
"Wat you playin at?" Hed'breka growled suspiciously.
Pigkilla chuckled, "You wanna prove yourself to us. We around here loves to eat, more dan any Boy you meet, we puts it away. So here is da game, you an' me catches squigs, snap da neck and gobbles dem up quick like. Gotta make sure dey good and dead first, else dey try to eat you back. Oh, an no cheatin' with dat big shoota, gotta do it with yur hands likes a propa Ork."
Hed'breka scowled but held out his arms so Masha could free his drill and shoota. They fell to the ground with a thud and the pair of bosses moved to the gate, where waiting Orks grinned knowingly. A hush fell over the crowd as Hed'breka tensed and then the gates were pulled wide and he drove inside. Thick mud squelched under his boots, mixed with the wet slop of over-excited Squig droppings. Instantly a bounding mass of tiny balls came towards them, eager to greet them, but not in friendship. Jaws yawned wide as small mouths worked between joins in his armour to close upon his shins, fangs sinking deep to draw blood. With frenzied excitement the squigs ripped away chunks of flesh, gobbling up his skin and muscle in jaws that became slick with blood.
"Ragh!" Hed'breka roared in surprise.
Pigkilla stood easy in his bone armour, cunningly fashioned to leave no gaps big enough for the squigs as he laughed, "Forget to tell ya, we keeps em starvin'!"
Hed'breka growled angrily but reached down and grabbed a wiggling squig. It twisted and sank fangs into his fingers, try to eat one of his digits but the Warboss got a hand around its bulk and twisted, snapping its spine. The little ball fell limp and Hed'breka tipped his head back to drop the dead meat into his throat. He didn't bother to chew, swallowing it whole. The lump stuck in his throat for a moment, then he forced it down with a grimace.
His stomach hurt but he glanced up to see Pigkilla downing two Squigs at once, his jaws opening wider than possible. Like a snake he swallowed them entirely, then reached down and grabbed two more, dispatching them with a twist of his fingers. The warboss was clearly an expert at this and judging by the cheering crowds often displayed his gluttony for all to see.
Hed'breka hastily regrouped and reached down to scoop up two more from the jumping forms at his feet. The prizes wriggled and bit as they were hoisted aloft and he squeezed hard, breaking their innards and letting blood flow between his fingers. The rest of the squigs cared nothing for their comrades' fates, too distracted by the rain of blood and the hot smell of fresh meat where his legs were being torn open. He stuffed the bodies down his throat one at a time and felt them hit his stomach but it was not enough. Pigkilla was scooping up Squigs with glee, breaking them with practiced hands and stuffing them down his throat. He was well ahead and Hed'breka saw he'd never catch up.
Anger burned within him and he decided he wasn't going to lose to this smug git. Determinedly he reached down and swept his arm about, snatching up five squigs in one go. They squirmed madly, biting and gnawing at his bicep, tearing chunks out of his flesh but he gripped them tight and grabbed one in the other hand. Without pause he tipped his head back and stuffed the living thing into his maw, not bothering to kill it first. It kicked and clawed at the innards of his mouth, trying to bite him back but he shoved it to the rear of his mouth and then swallowed. He felt it kicking all the way down, small claws tearing at his innards and then it hit his stomach, where it bucked wild. His guts heaved as something tried to claw out, fighting to break free even as his stomach acids began killing it. Hed'breka ignored the feeling as he grabbed another and shoved it down, then another and another, until he'd eaten all five live squigs.
Pigkilla paused in his efforts and stood slack-jawed, watching with an open mouth at the display. He didn't know whether to look amazed or horrified, but he was waiting to see what happened. Hed'breka himself didn't know, he could feel the squigs smashing against each other, biting and clawing their comrades as much as him. It was a race to see if they'd suffocate in his stomach before they ripped a way out and he didn't know what the outcome would be.
"Iz ya," Pigkilla stammered, "Iz ya bout to die?"
Hed'breka felt something rising in him, a wave of pressure building inexorably and he opened his mouth wide to belch, "Bluuuuuuurrrrrrrrgggghhh!"
Stunned silence reigned and then the crowd erupted into dirty laughter and wild yelling. Snakebites threw back their heads and laughed as hands slapped backs and bellies jiggled in mirth. He'd won them over with his antics, a feat none of them could match. Pigkilla didn't looked happy but admitted, "Any Ork whoze can eat live squigs iz da boss for us. Looks like you'ze got da Snakebites for yur Waaagh."
Hed'breka accepted their applause then called out, "You lot are gonna be at da head of me army. But today we'ze feast, get stuck in ladz, fore I eat dem all meself!"
With raucous laughter the Orks jumped the bone fence, scooping up baby squigs and trying to swallow them alive, as their new boss had done. Few managed it and more than one had his tongue bitten off by gnashing fangs, but that only added to the laughter of the rest. With a feast of blood the Snakebites joined his Waaagh, making Hed'breaka lift his eyes to the stars above and think of all the worlds he would burn.