After negative reviews and some really shitty thinking on my part (well, I'm new to this, so all of you who reviewed and were just cunts without any sort of actual feedback, go fuck yourselves and get a life; to those who actually did give feedback, thanks), I've decided to forego this chapter and rewrite for a different scenario. Hopefully this goes better than I had initially anticipated.
Uh... apologies to those that I insulted here, I'm trying to get better at taking to harsher criticism, but as you can see, it's a tough road, at least, for me.