Jade and Milan had resolved to tell no one of their ventures into magical fertility, not until they had passed the first trimester and were more certain the pregnancy would stick. Jade had still seemed salty about the pain she'd been in, but Milan had soothed her, pointing out that she would be suffering the burden of the pregnancy itself, and Jade's ire had subsided somewhat, comparing her pain to what her partner would be going through shortly. Milan and Jade had thanked Hermione and her coven, both cautiously hopeful about the future.
Hermione avoided Jade anyway, just in case. It didn't bode well to have the Head Girl mad at you.
Thursday's lesson with Lupin went extraordinarily well. Susan, Blaise, and Luna were all able to cast the Patronus charm, now, without needing to pull on the coven's group power. Once they had gotten the hang of how it worked, they were able to switch to using just their own magic. Their Patronuses weren't quite as bright or solid-looking when they did, but they were able to conjure them.
When it was Hermione's turn, she managed to get a fully corporeal Patronus for the first time. It ended up being a giant lizard, and while they were all trying to identify it, Harry started to laugh.
"You've been letting Malfoy hang around too much!" Harry accused, laughing.
Hermione startled. "What's that got to do with anything?"
"It's a Komodo dragon!" Harry said, cackling. "You got a muggle dragon, Hermione!"
"Did I really…?"
Hermione examined her Patronus. The silhouette, which she'd previously just dismissed as lizard, definitely read more dinosaur than lizard. The angle of the limbs was off, and the legs too stocky with massive claws. The tail, too, was thick and looked like a weapon, and definitively not something that could be used to break off and get away quickly. Up close, she could faintly see scale patterns made of light and the occasional flick of a long tongue.
Harry was right, she thought faintly. She'd gotten a muggle dragon.
Returning to herself, she realized the others were in the midst of a conversation.
"—know about them?" Blaise was asking.
"They're incredibly deadly, and they can't breathe fire," Harry said. "I remember asking in school and being disappointed. It didn't seem right that they would be named 'dragons' when they couldn't breathe fire."
"How are they incredibly deadly, then?" Susan asked, examining the giant lizard of light as it swam around the room. "It just looks very… big."
"Komodo dragons are very fast and they have a lot of very sharp teeth," Hermione said, joining the discussion. "They generally try to maul their prey. They have venom that secretes anticoagulants, I believe, which means if their prey escapes, it will bleed to death, leaving a trail of blood that can be followed. I think they might have extraordinarily toxic bacteria in their mouth also?" She scrunched her face up. "I don't entirely remember."
Blaise laughed.
"A minute ago you didn't even recognize this animal," he said, smirking. "Now you know all the details?"
Hermione flushed hotly.
"I probably took the same lesson Harry did," she defended. "I just didn't recognize it. Once I recognized it, I remembered."
Lupin looked very amused.
"Well, very good job, Hermione," he said, giving a faint smile. "Well done."
Hermione flicked her wand, dropping the Patronus charm, and the Komodo dragon vanished in wisps of light carried away on the air.
"Harry next," Lupin announced.
Harry made his way to the center of the room as Hermione took a chair off to the side. He looked very determined.
"Are you ready?" Lupin asked.
Harry screwed his face up.
"Yeah, as ready as I'll ever be," he said. "Let's just do it."
Lupin opened the trunk.
The dementor emerged, looming over Harry in its tattered cloak, and Hermione shuddered as Harry yelled the Patronus Charm, waving his wand desperately. The boggart-dementor wasn't able to manifest the full level of power that dementors had, but it was still highly disturbing.
"Come on, Harry!" Susan yelled, but Harry was already collapsing on the floor, and with a wince, Lupin stepped forward, the dementor transforming into a floating silver ball that Lupin was able to physically shove back into the briefcase.
Harry roused himself a moment later, shaking his head.
"I hate this," he said. "I have Quidditch on Saturday. What am I going to do if they come out again?"
"They won't," Lupin assure him. "The Headmaster was furious the last time. They won't do it again."
"But what if they do?" Harry complained.
"Then we'll cast the Patronus charm for you," Luna said.
Harry turned to look, and Luna shrugged.
"If you're busy flying, you probably shouldn't be casting charms anyway," she pointed out. "We'll cast ours instead to protect you until you can land safely. That should still shield you from the dementors' effects."
Harry paused.
"…you'd do that?" he said finally. "You'd cast them to protect me?"
"Well, arguably, we'd also be protecting ourselves," Blaise drawled, "but you'd be in a bit more of a vulnerable position, wouldn't you?"
"Of course we'd protect you, Harry," Susan said earnestly. "Why wouldn't we?"
Hermione gave Harry a soft smile.
"We're your coven, Harry," she said gently. "We're all in this together, remember?"
Harry slowly started to smile.
"Right," he said, determined. He turned to Professor Lupin. "I'd like another go at it now, sir."
Lupin raised an eyebrow. "Are you sure? You haven't had any chocolate to recover from the last one."
"I'm sure," Harry said, standing up. He readied himself and his wand, shifting his stance. There was something in his eyes, Hermione could see. There was a new confidence there, a certainty that he'd get it this time, and she wondered at the change.
"Alright," Lupin said. "Ready?"
Harry nodded, and Lupin opened the case.
The dementor emerged, drifting out of the case towards Harry, the room slightly chill. Harry's face was fierce.
"Expecto Patronum!" he roared, wand whipping through the air.
Light burst from Harry's wand, coalescing and charging at the dementor. It was forming into an animal, driving the dementor back, and the room stopped feeling chilly as the Patronus protected them all.
"Oh, Harry, you did it!" Hermione clapped her hands in excitement. "You did it!"
Harry looked weak, but he gave her a faint grin, keeping his wand steady.
As Lupin shoved the boggart back into the case, Harry's Patronus stayed present, galloping around.
"What is it?" Blaise asked. "Is it a reindeer?"
"It's a moose," Susan corrected. "I'm pretty sure it's a moose."
"It's a stag," Lupin said flatly.
Hermione glanced at him, curious.
"Are you sure?" she asked. "How do you know it's not any other antlered animal?"
Lupin suddenly looked very tired.
"I have… been around stags… often," he said delicately. "I would recognize one anywhere."
Oh. That made sense to Hermione. If he was a werewolf and was used to running around in the forest with deer, he'd probably seen stags up close and personal multiple times. He'd probably killed and eaten stags more than once, really.
"You did it, Harry!" Luna cheered. "You did it!"
"I did." Harry grinned, breathless. He looked up at the Patronus still prancing around, before flicking his wand and letting it dissipate. "No wonder it's a high-level charm – it drains a lot of magic to keep up, doesn't it?"
"It does," Susan agreed. "If we're ever in a situation where we'll need it for more than a few moments, we'll have to pull on each other's magic, I imagine."
"So, Potter," Blaise said slyly. "What changed? What memory did you use this time that made it work?"
To Hermione's surprise, Harry flushed.
"Beltane," he said. "From last year."
Hermione's eyes widened, and Harry glanced up and around at them all, before his green eyes landed on Hermione's.
"The coven bonding was… everything, to me," Harry said. "I've made friends before, sure, but being there with you all, and bonding with you…" He trailed off for a moment, lost in the memory. "That was more than just friendship. That was creating a trust and bond that will never be broken, knowing that we'll be tied together forever. And… it's kind of like what having a family might be like, I think. Having people who care about you and will back you up no matter what."
Hermione's heart went out to Harry, and her eyes welled with tears. Harry looked away, seemingly embarrassed, and no one else seemed to know what to say.
"Well, well done, all of you," Professor Lupin finally said, filling the silence. He took a large bar of chocolate from his desk, snapping it into large chunks. He gave them all a soft smile as he passed out the pieces. "Eat this, now. I'll not have any of you collapsing in the corridors."
Hermione took the chocolate and nibbled on it. She was quite sick of chocolate honestly, after being made to eat so much each week after their lesson. But the chocolate provided the necessary distraction and break from the tension, and everyone looked relieved as they took their piece, relaxing back into their chairs. They nibbled on their pieces obediently, listening as Lupin warned them that casting a Patronus in the face of a real dementor would be significantly more difficult.
"What's under a dementor's cloak?" Harry asked suddenly.
Lupin paused.
"Well," he said slowly. "The only people who would be able to tell us that are in no shape to do so. You see, the dementor lowers its hood only to use its last and worst weapon."
Hermione flinched, and Blaise caught it.
"Alright, Hermione?" he asked, and Hermione winced.
"I'm fine," she said. "I just… don't like what dementors do to people."
Harry raised his eyebrows, before looking at Lupin.
"What is it?" he wanted to know, and Hermione tried to act normal and breathe. She wasn't about to have a panic attack or freak out – not her, not at all.
"They call it the Dementor's Kiss," said Lupin, with a slightly twisted smile. "It's what dementors do to those they wish to destroy utterly. I suppose there must be some kind of mouth under there, because their clamp their jaws upon the mouth of the victim and – suck out his soul."
Harry choked.
"What—they kill—?"
"Oh no," Lupin said. "Much worse than that. You can exist without your soul, you know, as long as your brain and heart are still working…"
Hermione didn't even realize she was shivering, rocking back and forth slightly until Blaise came over and wrapped an arm around her, tugging her into his side.
"It's okay," he murmured, hugging her. "You're safe, Hermione. It's okay."
Hermione forced herself to take a deep breath and let it out slowly. Blaise's presence helped steady her a little bit, but Lupin was still talking, the horror of a dementor still at the front of her mind.
"…no sense of self anymore, no memory, no… anything. There's no chance at all of recovery. You'll just—exist. As an empty shell. And your soul is gone forever… lost."
The silence in the room was heavy for a long moment. Hermione couldn't look at anyone, clutching her arms with her hands and looking at the floor, shivering.
"It's the fate that awaits Sirius Black," Lupin said. "It was in the Daily Prophet this morning. The Ministry has given the dementors permission to perform it if they find him."
Hermione's jaw fell open.
"They have?" she said, horrified. "Why?"
Lupin gave her a twisted little grin, devoid of all amusement.
"Well, they can't exactly keep him in Azkaban, can they?" he said wryly. "He's already shown he can get out from there. And they can't just let him go…"
"He deserves it," Harry said suddenly.
Hermione's mouth fell open, her blood running cold.
"You think so?" said Lupin lightly. "Do you really think anyone deserves that?"
"Yes," said Harry defiantly. "For… for some things…"
"You don't actually think that," Hermione said. She looked at Harry, who looked at her in surprise. "You don't actually think that, do you?"
Harry's eyes flashed.
"Hermione, you know—Black's done things—" His tone was dark, and Hermione found her anger rising.
"This has nothing to do with Black betraying your parents," Hermione snapped, and Lupin startled, surprised. "This has nothing to do with that, and everything to do with the humanity of what the Dementor's Kiss actually is."
"Lupin just told us," Harry retorted. "They suck out his soul, so he can't kill anyone—"
"They destroy him," Hermione shot back. "It's entirely different than killing someone, and entirely worse. Destroying someone's soul, Harry – that means no going on to the afterlife, no becoming a ghost, no nothing – just utterly erasing someone's soul from the fabric of the earth."
Harry looked angry and defensive, his face torn.
"If the Ministry says that the best punishment, though—"
"Bully for the Ministry!" Hermione snapped.
"—then that's what it is, isn't it?" Harry went on. "He'd still be alive, right? So it's better than killing him—"
"It's entirely worse than killing him!" Hermione cried. "If you kill someone, their soul moves on. They get to go to whatever's beyond, or become a ghost, or maybe be reincarnated – I don't know. But they still exist. Dementors suck out someone's soul, Harry, and they destroy it. There's nothing, then. Nothing!"
Hermione wasn't sure when she had leapt to her feet and begun waving her arms, her voice shrill, but somewhere in the past few minutes it had happened. She was breathing fast, all her coven looking at her, and Harry's eyes were wide.
Taking a measured breath, Hermione tried to continue.
"No one deserves that," she said, her voice uneven despite her tries. "Destroying a person's soul – that's an act of unspeakable evil, Harry. That's the worst thing in existence that magic can do."
"I think you're going a bit far," Lupin said, trying to calm her down. "There's—"
"No. It's the worst," Hermione said savagely, her eyes flashing. "Tell me – what could be worse than destroying someone's soul? Nothing. Nothing is. And the fact that you—" she looked at Harry, whose green eyes were wide and staring at her "—think that it's remotely okay to do to anyone, regardless of the reason…"
She coughed, choking on her words, realizing in frustration that somewhere in her angry rant, her eyes had filled with tears.
"I thought I knew you." Hermione was looking right at Harry with tear-filled eyes, her tone savage. "I thought you were brave and noble and good. I never thought – you'd—an act of unspeakable evil—"
Hermione couldn't handle it any longer – she turned and ran out of the room, ignoring Harry's surprised shout from behind her.
She hiccupped as she ran, tears streaming from her eyes as she went down the stairs as fast as she could, staircase after staircase. How could someone even think the Dementor's Kiss was okay? The death penalty, she could at least see a misled person making a case for, but destroying someone's soul? What kind of twisted place was the wizarding world, where such a thing was just blindly accepted? How could people live with themselves, knowing such a thing was going on?
She ran through the dungeons toward the common room, crying, only to abruptly crash into someone and fall back, hitting the ground hard.
"Aahh—!"
"Miss Granger—!"
Hermione sniffled and looked up.
Snape was standing over her, looking down at her. He clearly hadn't fallen in the crash – more Hermione had bounced off of him and into a wall, really – but his look of surprise and irritation quickly changed to one of cautious concern.
"Cease your caterwauling at once, Miss Granger," he snapped. He offered her a hand. "Get up off the floor."
Hermione sniffed, trying to force back her tears as she took his hand. "Thank you, sir."
Once she was upright once more, Snape examined her, his face hard.
"You should not be running through the halls," he told her sternly.
Hermione hiccupped. "Sorry, sir."
"An apology does not negate the fact that you broke the rules," Snape snapped. "My office, now."
Hermione goggled at him, astonished. Snape's eyes narrowed, and it was with a sulky demeanor that she turned and stalked toward his office, incredulous. Snape had never punished the Slytherins for something so minor as running in the hallways. Never.
When they got to his office, Snape opening the door with a wave of his hand, Hermione plopped herself into one of the wooden chairs and crossed her arms sulkily. Snape took his own seat behind his desk, the door to the office closing and locking behind him.
"Now, Miss Granger," Snape said. "What has upset you so?"
Hermione blinked.
Snape's face was impassive, no longer angry. His eyes weren't glinting or narrowed, and for the world, he looked like he was listening.
"Are you—" she started. "Did you say—just to—"
"Yes, you're not being punished, do keep up," Snape said impatiently. "I thought you'd prefer a bit of privacy before spilling your woes. But if you'd rather the whole school hear you—"
"No. I—I don't. Thank you, sir." Hermione hiccupped. "I just—"
Snape's eyes softened.
"Take your time, Miss Granger," he told her quietly.