And we're back after a little break.

VI: Piper Charms Coach with Chuck Norris and Crotch Kicks

"Here."

Jason looks at the off-white paper cup Leo hands him in the cafeteria before sitting with him and Piper with his food tray. They all have the same plates with the same pile of barely eaten pancakes. They're sponge-like and taste as they look, which is why they only have a bite taken out of them (for the meantime). The syrup was likely water-tinted brown (nobody asked how since ignorance is bliss and it wasn't poisonous) with sugar.

Inside the cup that Leo handed Jason is a dark brown liquid that smells like coffee. It's steaming and the cup feels warm, but Jason hasn't really trusted anything he's ingested since he got here … which is why he has nothing to lose if he drank this whole cup. If he was still alive after eating Wilderness School food after however long he's been here, then he should be fine anyways. His body has adapted. Were they even allowed coffee?

"What is this?" Jason sips the coffee and it tastes exactly how he thought Wilderness Coffee would.

"It's an outright bribe. If you take it, you have to help."

Jason looks at him and opens his hands his way. "Leo, I would've helped anyways. This coffee sucks. I didn't think we could get any here."

"But the bribe works." Leo takes a bite of the absorbent pancakes and leans closer to him and Piper. Specks of pancake litter his chin. "Anyways, I stayed up late last night coming up with a part of our revenge plan. We need to get your coin back."

Jason chokes on his bad coffee, droplets travelling down his face onto his shirt. It was already stained from who knows what in the Wilderness School but now he can add weird coffee to the painting on his gym shirt. Piper hands him a thin napkin that's nearly translucent and does nothing to help. It nearly dissipated in her hand. Jason lightly dabs his shirt and the napkin is instantly wet despite his shirt still damp. He wads it up and tosses it on his tray. Maybe the pancakes would do a better job since they have the texture of a sponge.

"What coin?" Piper asks.

"Jason found his gold coin in the Lost and Found," Leo explains. "Coach confiscated it on our hike a while back."

Piper nods, holding her fork with a pancake bite in front of her mouth. "I have so many questions." She eats her bite and chews it for a bit. "First, why are we even getting the coin back?"

"It's gold and Jason will split the earnings."

Jason shakes his head. "We're not pawning it."

"It turns into weapons!" Leo yells before looking around them and whispering. Luckily, nobody caught on. Many of them were arguing over plastic sporks. "That's why Coach confiscated it."

Jason laughs nervously before turning to Piper. "What he means is-"

"That's perfect for our revenge plan," Piper states, beaming.

Jason looks at her speechless. She took that weird news in without battling a lash but instead by putting her fork down and picking up a pancake with her hand and eating it like a piece of pita bread.

"I thought you said manslaughter was worse than revenge," Jason says, eyeing her.

Piper shrugs a shoulder as she breaks apart her pancake. "I didn't say we would use them like that, Jason Grace. So where is the coin now?"

"I'm assuming that Coach will have it on him since it's pure gold and there's no way he'd leave it in a place with kleptos," Leo says. "I've seen people steal earrings right from people's ears around here, just straight tearing them out of the lobe. I don't think Coach trusts anyone, not even his bat. I spent the night creating the perfect contraption to help us get it from his pocket without him noticing. All I'll need is someone to distract him."

Leo points his fork at Jason and Piper immediately laughs.

"Are you kidding me? Why him?" She points a piece of her pancake at him.

"You have a better idea?" Leo asks. "Coach likes him the best, maybe second to his bat."

"I'll distract Coach," Piper suggests. "I've known him for longer than Jason. Not to mention that he can't keep up a conversation. See, he's already tuned out."

"Huh?" Jason asks.

Piper shoves some of her pancakes in his mouth. "Point."

"Fair," Leo takes his empty paper cup back, "my bribe was useless."

"You didn't even need to bribe me," Jason argues.

Piper smiles, looking down at her destroyed breakfast. "Coach loves me."

"Didn't he put you in the other cohort?"

"It's a classic saying: If you love someone, set them free. If they come back, then they were meant to help their friends retrieve their coin from you."

Jason grins at her. "I don't think that's how it goes."

"Do you want your coin back or not?"

Piper holds out another piece of her pancake for him despite him having his own plate. He still takes it from her to eat.

-o-

They're lucky that it almost never rains in the desert which means they get a lot of outdoor time. Whenever Coach doesn't schedule an activity like hiking or some sport that results in them beating each other up, they're usually left to their own devices, but without any devices. A lot of the time, the cohort would disperse into their cliques.

A group of girls stand in a line and chat as they walk around the track. Some guys throw a tennis ball against the wall as hard and as high as they could without losing the ball on the roof. Coach would never get them another ball and the roof is probably full of them. It's a dog's dream up there with the missing balls and frisbees. If dogs did go to heaven, it would look like that rooftop. Coincidentally, it's right above the hell that is the Wilderness School.

Jason and Leo stand off the track in front of a basketball net, pretending to play with a half-deflated ball. They toss it back and forth, attempting the occasional shot to look like a sad game. However, they can't help but want to keep their eyes on Piper.

She saunters over to the fence where Coach stands on patrol, glaring at all of them. He doesn't even look her way as she rocks back and forth on her dirty sneakers.

"Coach, guess what?" Piper says.

Coach still doesn't acknowledge her. "What?"

"I was on the phone with my dad the other day and he told me that he'll be in a movie with Chuck Norris."

Now he looks at her, lowering his sunglasses. "Tell me more."

"I don't know how much I can say given his contracts and NDAs..." She twirls a lock of her chopped hair as her voice trails.

Coach grins. "Come on, McLean."

As Piper continues telling Coach about her fabricated distraction that she constructed while not paying attention to their first aid course earlier today. She talks with exaggerated hand motions to make sure Coach has something to look at and not gaze out at the other kids.

Leo drops the deflated basketball and pulls out a contraption from his sweater pocket. Another thingamajig he also worked on during that same first aid course. (Jason was the only one actively listening on how to help someone who's choking.)

Leo extends an antenna from his invention, revealing a pincer on the other end. He grasps a handle and the small hand grips and loosens when he lets go. It glints in the sunlight, masquerading in the same tan colour as the sandy field. Leo tested it in their class by using it to remove the choking obstruction from the dummy he was supposed to be practising on; said dummy then choked on his masterpiece.

"Neat," Jason commends.

Leo grins. "It's like those things old people or lazy people or old and lazy people use to reach things. It's made with a reflective plane so Coach won't see it."

"Won't he feel it enter his pocket?"

Leo pauses. His Heimlich maneuver practice mannequin did choke on it, meaning it definitely felt that it was there. Leo did manage to pull the invention and the original obstruction out, so win-win.

" … we'll manage," Leo says, unsure if he means it.

Leo further extends his contraption like a fishing rod, unleashing it out in hopes to snare his coin. They watch in suspense, relieved that Piper is still talking to Coach and that they're both unfazed by Leo and Jason now staring at them intently.

"And then he told me all the stunts he's doing!" Piper exclaims.

"Like what?" Coach asks excitedly.

"Again, Coach, NDAs..."

"McLean."

Piper hesitates for a moment, laughing nervously. She falters before jumping in the air. She lands on her toes, legs stretched in a warrior pose with her arms arched outwards. Piper moves her arms around so that they wrap around her waist as she twists her body and slides her feet on the sand. Rocks crunch under her feet as she leaps forwards again and somersaults, whisking her legs around when she lands and standing again.

Leo cringes. "What the-"

"Oh gods," Jason mutters but he can't help but grin at Piper covered in sand and dirt while doing some ridiculous routine. "At least it's working."

Coach's eyes never left Piper's choreography but then he joins in, copying her motions a step behind and with more pep in his step.

"I needed him to stand still!" Leo yells at Jason, trying to follow Coach's steps with his snare. "It's like I'm fishing for a Wild Coach in the desert."

Jason waves an arm, trying to get Piper's attention. He isn't sure what he would do once her eyes met his, not that he'd lose all focus and thought when she looks at him, but he isn't sure how to get her to make Coach stop bouncing and flipping around.

Instead, Coach sees him waving at them.

"Grace!" Coach yells. "You know the moves too? Join us!"

"Sure!" Jason exclaims.

He looks at Leo for a moment before running over and joining their insanity. Leo grunts as Jason stands there awkwardly. He isn't sure what to do but, luckily, Piper finally looks at him. Now, Jason can safely say that direct eye contact with her has erased all cohesive strategies he might've had up there.

"And then there's some move like this," Piper instructs. "Jason, hold your hands out like this and crouch."

Jason copies Piper's demonstration. He crouches on one knee and intertwines his fingers, facing his palms upwards. Piper steps into his hands and backflips over. She stumbles a bit before making the landing.

His heart skipped a beat as she throws her arms in the air. It was exhilarating to watch her mind create that distraction on the spot and execute it almost smoothly.

"Dad and Chuck alternated who did what to see," Piper says. "Chuck's a better flier."

"Fascinating. Let me try!" Coach exclaims.

Coach copies Piper and steps into Jason's hands. Jason didn't think he launched Piper. He thought she used her own strength to lip and he gave her a little boost to help with her spin so she wouldn't land on her head. He performed the same for Coach, but he didn't think the small man would be so light, so Coach went flying like a rocket.

Jason immediately stands. He and Piper look up at the sky, squinting their eyes against the sun as they watch Coach get smaller and smaller the further he gets from the ground. He nearly disappeared into the clouds.

"Come on!" Leo exclaims as he calls back his contraption and runs to them.

"Try to keep him steady!" Jason exclaims as he tries to follow Coach's descent back to the ground.

"I wasn't the one who launched him into the sky!"

"Airborne Coach!" Leo cackles. "Best day ever."

When Coach is close enough that they can see his whole body, they notice him gracefully twirling and spinning like a Cirque du Soleil dancer but without the aerial ribbons. When Jason notices that Coach's face is etched in determination, he steps out of the way for Coach to make the landing. His feet plonk on the ground, small indents in the sandy grass. Not a hair or his baseball cap out of place but a smile on his rugged face.

The trio can't help but applaud.

"Wow, Coach, you're better than Chuck Norris himself," Piper praises. "Maybe I'll tell Dad about some of your moves."

"Who?" Jason asks. "Not your dad, the other guy."

Coach brushes it off. "I can't believe you both said such blasphemous things. You know I ought to teach you both a thing or two on the fine art of-"

Jason notices that Leo went back to the plan now that Coach landed. Actually, he didn't notice that part. His eyes flicker over to see Leo's mechanical hand in Coach's pocket catching on fire, ergo, catching Coach's pants on fire.

Jason's about to react on instinct but stops himself when Piper kicks Coach in the crotch to put it out. The flame snuffs as Coach falls over. Piper's eyes widen as she bites down on her lips to hide a grin. Leo doesn't even try to hide his laugh as he hollers. Jason isn't sure what happened since they got outside so he remains silent, unsure what'll happen next.

His heart races and blooms a smile so maybe he did enjoy it.

"And, uh, that happens in the movie too," Piper tries to cover up.

Coach nods proudly from the ground. "Norris would be proud, McLean. I know I am. Keep that move for this place."

Piper smiles to herself as she looks at Jason. "Told you Coach loved me."

Jason nods, unsure what to say but he feels the same way. Although now they'll need a new plan to retrieve his coin.