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Chapter 9

The weight of the world

Paris, France (UTC+1)

28th of February 2023, 0915 hrs

The phone kept ringing as the woman wrapped her blonde, wet hair in the towel, running down the stairs.

"Emil! Where the hell did he go…?" she muttered, catching her breath, before picking up the device and dragging her finger across the screen.

"Hello?" her voice was confident, as always. Cold, without a tint of softness or weakness. That was just the way the woman was. Strong, independent. And now also angry with her partner, who ignored her calling.

"Good morning. Have I reached Isabella Lawson?"

"Isabella Lawson-Shepard. That's my full and correct name." she frowned, correcting the speaker, but then hesitated for a second. "Yes… on the phone."

"My name is Bruno Sykora, I'm a captain in the 3rd NATO International Response Forces unit." The man on the other side of the phone had a strong accent, completely unfamiliar for her. "I'm calling you to inform you about your… son."

Isabella's face expression changed from annoyed to confused.

"Who are you? What do you mean?"

"Like I said, I'm captain of the team where your son, Del Lawson, is currently serving. Usually we would come to you in person in such a case, but we were not able to reach you at the location which was noted as the place of your residence."

"I live in France right now, I left Great Britain a few years back if that's what you are asking about."

The silence on the other side of the phone made something crawl under her skin. She hated such tense moments, all of her senses were going crazy, telling her that something terrible had happened.

Her mind already created at least ten scenarios about what was going on. A military guy calling her about her son… Did Del get captured? Maybe she had to pay the ransom? What if he was being tortured? Maybe they had executed him? Pulling his head up, screaming all those ugly words before slashing his throat. Digging the machete in his neck, jerking the weapon sideways, until the soft tissue was completely ripped apart. Then with another brutal movement, the head was ripped off to swing in the air, as the rest of the body dropped onto the desert sand. All of this transmitted live on Facebook and later on posted on Twitter, being retweeted thousands of times.

"Okay." the man sighed heavily. "I'm calling you to inform you…" another pause. It was clear that her interlocutor was stressed. Using the same grammatical structure almost twice in a row? It would be unacceptable while writing. Repetitive, boring. "... that during the operation, there had been some complications and… Operator Lawson's status is currently missing in action. We want t-..."

"What does that mean?" her voice wavered, as she blankly stared at the wall. The blood dripping on sand from the freshly cut-off head started getting more crimson…

"We don't know his current location. There might be a chance that he's captured by the enemies or killed in action. However we can't be sure of this. Currently, we are carrying out an operation that…"

She stopped listening to him right after the word "killed". Her son was… dead? How could she allow that to happen…

A sob escaped her mouth, as she covered her face with one hand. It couldn't be true… She just imagined everything. The execution scenes like these… it couldn't happen to her son. She let the tears roll down her cheeks, quietly crying.

"Ma'am? Are you still there?" The man's voice felt so distant, like she was underwater, drowning in silence, falling deeper and deeper until she hit the bottom, buried alive.

"Y-yes, yes. I'm listening." she rubbed her nose, holding back another sob. "Is he… is he dead…?"

"Ma'am, like I said, we can't confirm anything. Search and rescue operation is on the go, we're doing everything we can."

"How did this happen…?"

"I can't share details even if I wished to. It's classified. But I promise, I'll update you as soon as we get any info."

"Isa? What did you want?" Emil walked out of the garage, rubbing his hands into a cloth, trying to get some kind of oil off them.

"Mhm… Okay. Call me back as soon as you find him, please. Goodbye." she hung up, not waiting for an answer from the captain's side. Dropping the phone on the table's surface, she started completely tearing up.

"Isa, what's happening?" making a step forward, Emil gently grabbed her hand. His confusion lost all relevance the moment he saw his love like this, crying and sobbing quietly. "Talk to me, Isa…"

She took a deep breath, tucking a single strand of blonde, curly hair sticking out of the towel behind her ear. She was trying to find the right words to somehow explain what was going on. To explain how she broke down so quickly. But she wasn't sure if she was capable of this now.

"It's about… It's about Del."

"Your kid? What happened?" Emil raised his eyebrows, still rubbing his thumb on her hand. He didn't hear that name often. It was quite a… sensitive topic for his partner. Although they'd been together for almost two years, he had never seen Del in person.

"The man said he's missing."

"Missing?"

Isabella just nodded, grabbing him by his shirt, pulling him close, wanting to tighten the embrace. Caressing her back, the French man let out a long sigh, trying to comfort her.

"I'm sure they will find him. He'll be alright…." rubbing her shoulders, he whispered, his lips almost touching her ear. "Calm down, darling. Did you take your meds today? No?" another sigh. "I'll bring them, wait here. I'll be right back."

Before the woman could protest, Emil ran up the stairs to their bedroom.

"No, no, no… don't leave me now…" She sobbed, taking a seat on the chair. Her eyes went up to the mirror on the wall across the room. "No, God, please, no…" her teeth dug deep in her lip when she saw not only herself in the reflection. Right next to her stood a man. The man that she knew so well. The man she loved for so many years.

Hiding her face in her hands, she cried. She just couldn't hold it for any longer. She tried to tell herself "It's just a hallucination, a damn hallucination"... but now? She wasn't even sure about this.

"I'm sorry… I'm so sorry… I killed you… and now I killed our son… I'm so sorry, love. You won't ever forgive me. I won't ever forgive myself." an ugly sound of weeping filled the room. "I'm sorry…"

Seattle, Washington, United States of America (UTC-7)

1nd of March 2023, 0834 hrs

The tension in the room was suffocating. Sitting opposite to Thermite, Léja rubbed her hands together, keeping her head low. She knew that they were in trouble, especially Bruno, but that wasn't the thing that worried her.

"So let me make that clear. By not telling us about the virus you risked not only the lives of your soldiers, but also the lives of the people from other teams. Deimos had seen every single step we took, every single plan of our operations, even the personal data about all operators. About you too, Bruno. You know what it means?"

The Czech didn't let his emotionless expression slide from his face even for a second, staring straight at Jordan.

"Since you don't want to talk, I'll say that. Having this data Deimos might go after your wife, your son, your daughter, your sister, even your grandkids."

"He would have done it a long time ago if he wanted."

"That doesn't justify your action in slightes." Thermite's voice wavered. It was obvious that the American was close to slamming his fists at the counter and letting all his emotions out. Not only anger at Deimos and Bruno, but also pain and grief he kept inside.

Sykora had noticed a long time ago how Jordan was looking at specialist Cohen. It was always obvious that the American felt something more for the red-head. And now, when she was laying in the hospital on life support, Thermite suffered. Suffered not only from his physical injuries but also from the guilt. The guilt that he wasn't the one nearing death.

He wasn't a team-leader type of person. He never was and the situation pushing him to this role felt like a curse or a cruel joke. Dragging this whole burden without both Harry and Eliza. It wasn't something that he signed up for.

"What will you do about it then, Director?"

The words were brutally spat out of the Czech's mouth as if his only goal was to offend and disrespect Trace.

"You will be charged for carrying out an unapproved operation, leaving your outpost, leaving a soldier behind. The list goes on and on, Captain Sykora. I'm afraid that in this case you all will be suspended." Jordan let out a long sigh.

"I lied to them." Bruno said dispassionately, almost immediately, before the two other soldiers sitting with him could say anything else.. "Lawson, Bayrus and Ursu didn't have an idea that the operation was conducted without your approval. They shouldn't be charged for that."

Dima and Léja immediately turned their heads at him. The Czech kept tapping his finger on the table, not showing any signs of distress. His voice didn't waver, his expression didn't change.

"What?" the Lithuanian whispered, getting pale like a canvas. Her eyes, wide open, stared at the captain in shock, fear and confusion.

"Just play the fuck along, Dvasia." The phrase kept echoing in Sykora's mind.

"I used you. Took advantage of my rank to send you on a risky operation. What don't you understand?" Bruno turned his head at the woman, but just for a second, giving her a cold stare. She twitched, leaning back. "I knew that Trace would never agree to conduct such an operation, so I did it on my own. "

"I think that now you understand why we would not agree for such an operation to happen. You didn't have enough intel. Not enough fire power, not enough support." Thermite clasped his hands, carefully glancing at the soldier.

He knew that what Bruno had just said was a lie. The man was with the team ever since the unit was reactivated, so Jordan had more than enough time to get to know the captain. Sure he was an ass sometimes, just like Thatcher, but definitely not a bad person. A lie, this whole attitude… this wasn't Bruno. Not the Bruno that he knew.

"Yes. That's why one of the soldiers is MIA. I'm entirely aware of that, Trace." The man leaned back, putting his leg up. "But that's how this job works. We shoot bad people and bad people shoot back. Looking at the statistics from other military operations, one missing in action soldier ain't that bad. You should be grateful that we finally are one step ahead of Deimos."

Jordan sighed heavily, closing his eyes. The Czech couldn't lie, Trace really was keeping his temper. Quite impressive, having in mind how hot-headed the American usually was.

"That is not how our team works, Bruno. You know this. Why are you acting like this?"

"And why are you like this? Valuing the life of one soldier over information that might be crucial to catch our main enemy? Did you at least take a look at that pendrive?"

"We're on it. And once again, we are a team. We look out for each other and your fucking responsibility was to take care of soldiers from your team."

"I did. But life demands sacrifices. Especially in our line of work. I know it, you know it. Ash knew it, and so did Harry."

"Enough!" he snapped.

The man raised his eyebrows, glancing at the American. He pushed the right spot. The reaction he got was exactly what he expected.

"Get the hell out of my office. I don't want to see you around for the next few hours, cause I won't be as nice as I was. You're suspended until further notice." Thermite shook his head, trying to keep his temper.

"Understood. You won't see me, I can assure you that." His voice was cold, so emotionless. Like the person Thermite knew was long gone.

As the office door slammed shut, the American leaned back on his chair. If he had to be honest that was one of the most exhausting things he had to do within those last two weeks.

"Dismissed." he muttered to Dvasia and Soarele who were still glaring at him in shock. They didn't deserve to be treated like this, especially by their captain, but what could he do? He was too tired to argue with Bruno whether he was lying or not. "You're not suspended. We don't have time for investigation, though it's one of the most irresponsible behaviors I've seen in a long time."

"Are you looking for him…?" Dima's voice came out more like a whisper.

"Yes. Doc with the whole Wolfguard team is taking care of this but it might take some time. The area of Kootenai National Forests is huge. Not to mention that Del is probably on the move. Finding him will be hard…" seeing Léja's expression, the American added quickly. "Though if we don't find him, I'm sure that he will find us. It's Lawson in the end, he mastered coming out from such shitty situations, right?"

The woman nodded her head hesitantly, standing up from the seat.

"Right. Fingers crossed that he'll be fine." The Moldavian sent him a sad smile, also standing up. "We'll go. I'm sure that you're busy."

As they left, Jordan hid his face in his hand. He had a really bad feeling about Cheet. Something told him that even this time Deimos was step ahead of them. But Sykora's attitude hurt the operators enough to stop Thermite from saying his worries out loud.

Bruno headed towards the bathroom. The floor under his feet waved like a stormy sea. Getting his hand on the handle, he pushed the door wide open and quickly entered the first stall.

Dropping to his knee, right after he closed the lock, he vomited. His eyes filled with tears, as he coughed, spitting to the toilet. Hitting the back of his head on the wall, he sobbed, wiping his lips with disgust. With every breath he took, he felt the panic kicking in, taking control over his body, sending shivers down his spine.

Sitting on the bathroom's floor, crying and throwing up, for the first time in his life he felt so pathetic. His uniform shirt was unpleasantly sticking to his body covered with sweat. Brushing the strands of hair back, he took a deep breath trying to calm down. The last thing he needed right now was somebody to see him like this.

The hum of water flowing from the tap was calming. Wetting his lips felt like salvation, saving him from the suffocating feeling. He didn't mind splashing water on his collar and shirt, the only thing that mattered for now was cold liquid on his face.

The sound of the door being open made him immediately straighten his back and turn to look at the person who came into the bathroom.

"Captain?" Batu raised his eyebrows.

"What?" the man huffed, turning off the tap.

The Turk seemed visibly confused. Looking down, he rubbed his neck.

"I… I don't want to bother you, Bruno."
"You already did."

"Sorry. I heard what happened. But don't worry captain, we'll find him. Even if they captured him, Del is so annoying that they for sure already had let him go." Batu tried to make a joke, letting out an awkward short laughter.

"You'll find him."

"Sorry? I don't think I understand…"

"You. Not we. I'm out."

Çağlar's eyes widened as he glanced at the older man. He couldn't be serious right now.

"What are you talking about?"

"I'm leaving. Thermite decided to suspend me, so I said I'm out. I wanted to retire anyway."
"You can't just leave us like this!"

"But that's what I'm going to do and I don't care what you have to say." Sykora headed towards the exit, with his shoulder pushing Batu aside.

The shock painted in the Turk's eyes made Bruno's heart skip a beat. He really wanted to stop pretending. It was hurtful to see the expression of betrayal on the faces of people who trusted him. Jordan, Léja, Dima. And now Batu. But he kept repeating the sentence- play the game, you can't withdraw now. It's too late for that

"Oh, and I almost forgot." the Czech stopped, half-opening the door. "Congratulations on becoming the new team captain."
The slam echoed inside the bathroom. For a few more seconds Çağlar stared blankly at the door, trying to understand what had just happened, feelings of betrayal and anger mixed, swirling in his mind. That couldn't be true…

"What the hell just happened?" the question got stuck in his head. "Me? The new Captain?"

Seattle, Washington, United States of America (UTC-7)

6th of March 2023, 0659 hrs

The sound of the opening door pulled the American out of his thoughts. He didn't realize how long he was sitting still in complete silence of the empty briefing room. Frozen in place and in time, like a statue blankly staring forward. Even his heartbeat felt boring.

"Thomas?"

"Yeah?" He asked simply. He didn't want to talk to anybody, but he was too tired to look for an excuse.

"You look horrible, Tommy." The Turk sighed, staring at her friend.

Thomas didn't answer, instead he rolled his eyes, turning his back against Čağlar. He wasn't in the mood to talk to her. He wasn't in the mood to talk to anybody. Praying in his thoughts for the briefing to start faster, to get this shit over with, get his thoughts busy with something other than… than Del.

The bitter sorrow flooded his eyes when that name crossed his mind. He caught himself again falling into the claws of panic, as the horrible images were slowly projected in his mind.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to be rude. I'm just worried about yo-..."

"Me?" He cut her off. "I'm here, safe and in one piece. I'm not the one you should be worrying about, Selin." His voice came out more harsh than he intended, but it didn't matter. He still had his point.

Desperately, he shook his head trying to get the idea of the Brit's corpse laying somewhere in the middle of the forest. Cold, pale skin, looking at the sky. No, no, it didn't happen. It was not possible. Not at all.

"Tommy, we'll find him. They are already searching the area…"

"And they don't even let me join the search!"

"I think you should get some sleep, Tommy." she looked at him, hoping that he'd soften at least a bit.

"Later. The briefing starts in fifteen minutes. If I can't go with Doc, I have to do something else."

Selin bit her lip, hesitation filling up her mind. Should she tell him? Just by the minute of the talk they had, she could tell how many emotions her friend was holding inside. She hated the idea of lying to him, but at the same time, she wasn't sure if she could bear Garcia blowing up at that moment.

"Why are you looking at me like this?" his brown eyes were drilling a hole in her soul, piercing through her like an arrow.

"I'll be honest with you… You're in a bad place now." Selin spoke slowly, trying to hide her nervousness. At this point she wasn't sure who she was trying to calm down more. Him? Or maybe herself? " I don't think you should take part in any action. Please, go to your room, get some rest. I'm asking you not only as your friend, but also as a teammate."

"If you think I'll sit on my ass…" he stood up from his seat, taking a step closer to her, looking her straight into eyes. "... then you're wrong. Sel, you know that I won't let him die."

"Go back to the barracks, Thomas. You're not going." another voice caused a shiver to go down his spine. Turning to her brother, she already could feel that this conversation wasn't going to end peacefully.

The Turk headed towards the desk, not even shifting his glare at Thomas. His brown eyes were fixated on the pile of the documents and laptop he put down on the counter and started setting up.

"Oh c'mon, even you're against me, Batu?" Garcia crossed his arms, sending him an annoyed stare.

"I'm not against you. I care about the safety of my team and this matter is personal to you. That's why I'm not taking you on this operation."

The younger Çağlar knew this tone too well. Firm, steady. The person talking now was Captain Çağlar. Batu had been hidden behind his eyes. It sometimes seemed like even his facial features were getting sharper, more serious, when the man was going into his "on-duty" mode.

"You're saying that I'm not capable of fighting?"

"At this moment? Yes, you're not capable of holding a gun. You're barely holding yourself together. We're fighting against Deimos, we can't make any mistakes. And I'm not going to take any risks. Not after we lost Harry, Del and Bruno."

"He's not dead, mierda!" the American hissed through his teeth, clenching his hands.

"I know he's not. But look at yourself- one mention of him and you're already losing your temper. I understand that it's hard for you since you've lost Michael, bu-..."

"Don't you dare to say his name."

Batu's expression didn't change as he kept his cold stone glare at the American. Although he was on edge too, feeling like losing it all, but he couldn't let that happen. No matter what he had to stay calm. He couldn't lose captain Çağlar now.

"But nobody is blaming you for this. You know that you're our friend and that we want the best for you."

With every step Batu took towards the man, the words "Don't you dare to say his name." kept repeating in a loop in his mind. He was aware how sensitive the topic he had brought up was , but if that was the only way to make the American understand, he was ready for this. One mistake on the mission could cost them more than just one soldier this time.

"You know what I know? I know that I don't want to talk to you anymore." Thomas' voice didn't break, though they both could feel the tension. "Congratulations. You won." he shook his head, heading towards the exit, bumping into Batu's shoulder on his way out.

The silence that haunted the room after the door slammed, was broken by the woman's disappointed sigh.

"Why on Earth did you bring Michael into this? Really?"

"I said the truth. If he's not over this, he shouldn't take part in action, plain and simple." Batu frowned, not really understanding why his sister would get mad over such a small and unimportant thing.

"Is it because you're not sure if he'll manage to fight, or is it because you're worried that you might lose a soldier under your command like it happened with Demir and Deniz?"

"Are you really bringing them up just because I mentioned Michael? That's a low blow Selin. I'm the captain now and I know what decisions I should or should not make." he muttered, turning around. "Now, excuse me but I'm busy."

Selin didn't answer, looking at him with a saddened expression. It felt terrible to choose between her brother and a friend. A terrible and miserable choice, where both options were going to leave her with an unwanted outcome. Hurting people she loved.

So the only thing that was left to do for her, was sitting down and waiting. Waiting for what was coming for her.

Hannover, Germany (UTC+1)

6th of March 2023, 1934 hrs

Her eyes slowly opened, but blinded by the bright lights, she dropped back to the dark void. The silence surrounding her was broken from time to time by regular beeping.

"Can you hear me, ma'am?" the soft voice caressed her, like a warm wind in the evening, making her eyelids open again. Every single muscle in her body ached, begging for salvation. Slightly moving her head up and down, she let her lungs fill fully with air for the first time. The burning sensation going through her airways awoke her completely from the stupor.

"You've been in a coma, ma'am."

"Where am I…?" she hoarsen, her throat feeling like sandpaper, ripping the tissue from inside her.

"Hospital."

"Call… Call Jordan, please…"

As her head hit the pillow, she started falling into the void again. So exhausted, almost like for the last two weeks she had been doing nothing else but run. Run for her life, desperately dragging her feet in front of her, getting weaker with every step, begging it all to end.

Hospital… but where exactly? Everything beside the nurse's voice felt blurred, out of place, mismatched with her mind. So tired…

Before she could realize it, her thoughts escaped towards her grandma. The old times in the IDF, bursting with pride, straightening her back to look better in the photo. More slim, more athletic, to hide that the uniform was just half a size too big for her.

The job she loved so much, feeling like her actions finally had some meaning. Feeling that she was doing something actually good. Helping people, protecting them. How did she end up here…?

"Eliza…" The whisper pulled her out of the dream. "I'm here, Eliza."

She knew that voice, but it wasn't the person she expected. The strong accent that always made her chuckle… but the playful tone she associated with the Argentinian was long gone.

"Santiago…?"

"Lo siento, mi amiga. Did I wake you up?"

Raising her glare, Cohen tried to sit up, but the man stopped her.

"Ay, tranquila, tranquila." A slight smile appeared on the tanned face of her friend, as he gently, but firmly held her. "Please, forgive me that it took me over an hour to get here. I hope you can rest a little more."

"What happened…?"

A long sigh made her heart skip a beat. She was afraid of what she was going to hear. Why Santiago was the one to come, not Jordan?

"A lot of things happened when you were out, Eliza." he grabbed her hand, trying to calm her down. Or maybe it was more accurate to say that he was trying to calm himself down. He couldn't hide how worried and nervous he was, tapping his leg on the floor, his brown eyes moving from one end of the room to the other. "It's… complicated. The blast injured you badly, the doctors decided it'd be better if you were put into a coma. It's been almost three weeks since your operation."

She held her breath. A single question filled her brain, but she wasn't able to ask it out loud. She was too scared of what the answer would be. And she couldn't help but expect the worst.

"Why… is Jordan not here?" she hesitantly spoke up.

"Trace is in the US currently. The White Masks carried out a series of terrorist attacks."

"White Masks?"

"And so much more, Eliza…"

She was listening, her face not expressing any emotion. Cohen just stared at her friend in silence. The only thing that differentiated her from a robot was the fact that she was blinking from time to time, her chest moving up and down while air was flowing through her airways.

"That's more or less what happened." Flores rubbed his temple, visibly relaxing after dumping all of that terrible news on the Israeli.

"Harry." A single name left her mouth. "You didn't mention Harry once."

The Argentinian's head went down, as he tried to hide the expression filled with sorrow, painted on his face. He was silent for a few more seconds, as if he was waiting for something.

"Harry…" he started. "Harry's gone, Eli. I'm sorry." A single, sharp exhale was let out of his nose. "Deimos killed him at the same time when you fell into his trap. They had us bugged, they knew our every single step. And they still have our personal data. About every single operator from Rainbow. We all are in danger and we might end up like Harry did…"

"Son of a bitch." She whispered, clenching her hands. The nails dug into the skin, leaving marks, almost completely breaking through the tissue. "Son of a fucking bitch… I'll find him and I'll rip him apart, make that motherfucker burn…"

"Eliza. Do you understand what I have just said? He can kill us all. Your grandma, my husband. We had put the target on their back. That's… that's not what I signed up for, my friend." he shook his head. It was the first time when Ash saw him like this. Scared of the consequences of his own actions. The amazing Flores, mastermind thief- scared? Not only it made her surprised, but also somehow… disappointed.

"We can't give up now, Santiago!" she muttered, frowning. Her body ached, both from injuries and the urge to fight. She couldn't just sit on her ass in the hospital while her whole life was falling apart. All her teammates, all her friends… As the first leader of Rainbow she wasn't allowed to let that all go down. Not like this.

"I told you, Eliza, this is not what I agreed to do. You asked me to join Rainbow, so I joined. You asked me to spy on Kali, I did it. But now… you're asking me to put my personal life at risk. Put the life of the person I love more than anything at risk. I've already lost mi madre, Ash. I'm not going to make the same mistake twice."

Saying her callsign, he put a lot of pressure on that one word. As if he was trying to get through all of the anger that the woman was feeling now, craving for revenge.

"Don't leave the team now, Santiago. Listen to yourself…" something has changed in the way she spoke. It was almost… desperate. "Deimos will eventually come for your family if you don't stop him. And you know I'm right. Please."

Staring at each other in silence, Eliza felt like she was sitting across from her greatest enemy. A traitor and a coward.

"Leave me alone, please. I need to… think." she spoke up finally, breaking the silence. Cohen didn't have to say anything twice, Flores just slightly nodded, leaving the room. Before closing the door, he turned over his shoulder, sending her a small smile.

"Get some rest, Miss Kick In The Door."

Running her hand through the long red hair, she sighed. Her hair was not tangled nor was it oily, so somebody must have been taking care of her through all this time.

"Santiago…" the thought crossed her mind, causing a light but warm slime. No matter how angry she got with him now, she couldn't deny, he was a great man. And maybe he was right…

What was the point of the fighting if their every move was ending up in defeat? If the situation was really as bad as Flores described… they were fucked. Not only having Deimos and White Masks on their back, but also the UN. And what about Nighthaven?

Processing all the information, scenarios and possibilities, she caught herself being close to pulling a strand of her hair.

What was she supposed to do?