In The Clear: Interlude II
The surrounding room can be described as many things. It's bustling with activity, invaded by lights that are far too bright, loud with the sound of footsteps as staff go about their duties. No one on the outside looking in would describe it as empty. Funny enough, that's exactly the word Matt would use for it.
He blinks slowly, allowing himself just enough time to imagine somewhere else in between. In truth, Matt doesn't know how long he's been confined to the hospital and no one seems eager to tell him. Largely, at least apart from the first day or so of questioning, he's been left alone. Every so often a guard will come collect him from wherever he's been deposited - usually his room or the basement lab. Eventually someone will bring him food. Sometimes, a staff member will sit down and chat a while about nothing in particular.
It feels far too normal.
It leaves far too much time for Matt's thoughts to wander.
Matt presses his palms hard against his eyes until the darkness returns. He hasn't seen any of the other Winners, but that's the one part of his situation that he doesn't mind. Matt knows that Guiliana and Alexis are still in their apartment. He's been told that the others are still missing, and that Vito hasn't been located. Dr. Liu promised that they're still looking.
Matt doesn't know what he wants to come out of their search. He doesn't know if it would be safer for Vito to be found or stay far, far away. All Matt knows is that he was supposed to protect him, as the other Winners have done for him for nearly two years. He knows that he failed.
Truthfully, Matt doesn't want to face any of them right now.
Every person he sees without a white coat makes him want to crawl under the table. The fact that the one-way glass between this room and the ex-contestants makes no difference. When their gazes travel in his direction, Matt feels two breaths away from breaking down. The blank stares behind their eyes never fail to make the guilt tighten like a vice in his chest. And Lev-
Matt can't even bear to look on the wall where his room is anymore. There's nothing he can do to help him, to help any of them. He couldn't keep an eye on Vito even though Matt's supposed to be okay enough to do that now. Guiliana didn't have a problem making sure he was looked after and she'd only been out a year. He should be doing the same or more for Vito, but Matt doesn't think he could look him in the eye even if he did come back.
He failed.
And all Matt can see in his future is more of the same.
He rests his head across his arms, not caring that the staff can see. They're not the ones he's worried about disappointing. They're the ones who've kept him here, away from his family and what little respite he gets at home. They're the ones who made life so unbearable here that Vito thought he had no option but to leave.
And Matt's the one that didn't see it coming and didn't act fast enough to stop him. He should've gone with him, but then Matt would feel the same guilt about the ex-contestants. There are too many people he needs to help, too many excuses he keeps making for why he hasn't yet. Maybe that's why he doesn't mind the confinement. He doesn't have to look at all the people he's letting down and try to justify it anymore.
I haven't even helped Bear…
It's been almost two years since Matt made that promise and he's nowhere close to making good on it. He almost did, but that's not good enough. If he wants to believe Dr. Liu, this could've been done ages ago but he doesn't know if he should. Matt knows the others are wary of the doctor. He remembers what happened during his treatment. The fact that Dr. Liu is involved with The Cut in the first place should give him enough evidence not to trust him.
Maybe it's for the best that Matt's here alone then. It means the other Winners are just that little bit safer being further away from him.
Matt only wishes he knew which "him" he was talking about.
Vito turns his hand over in his lap, his eyes glued to the fraying bandages and nothing beyond them. The room is so unlike the clinical hallways he's grown used to. When he's by himself, his eyes all but refuse to stop exploring. They pause on every dingy box and trace each water stain like it were the Mona Lisa. In Vito's life, he's rarely been in places like this one and especially not alone.
Except, right now at least, he's not alone.
He recognizes her, or at least her image is not unfamiliar to him. She's one of the four missing Winners that Dr. Liu told him about. When the Commander told Vito that he'd be meeting her first, he had expected some kind of immediate connection. This was someone who would understand. In truth, he was expecting to see Guiliana in her.
Instead of the pristine puff jacket that met him in the hospital all those months ago, he watched a stained t-shirt and too-large jeans sit down across from him. Instead of a warm smile, there's a clear guard written across her face. She doesn't seem any more sure of her surroundings than Vito is, or any more sure of him for that matter.
Mina doesn't ask simple questions that purposefully avoid the larger topics. He's learned in the past couple of meetings that she isn't the type for small talk. When they're not sitting in silence, they're not beating around the bush.
She's already asked him how he got here, whether he's seen the other Winners, and where they are now. She pressed a little bit about his time in treatment, but that was the only topic Mina let drop when his tongue felt too heavy in his mouth to speak. Otherwise, she's been more insistent than the Commander himself.
Vito's yet to meet the others. Apparently that will be up to Mina as well. She's warmed slightly since their first meeting, but that isn't saying much. The first time they met it felt like an interrogation, like one wrong word would push him back out to the streets.
Where I would have nowhere else to go. Vito swallows as he waits for the silence to end once more. He hasn't left this room in the few days since arriving here. Everyone that comes to see him seems to be keeping a close eye. It's as if they don't know what to do with him, like maybe they don't want him here but feel too guilty to turn him away.
This is just another place where I don't belong.
That's the sentiment that's been weighing on Vito. He left because he was afraid, because what he found in that notebook and felt deep in his chest refused to let him stay. The frantic panic that sent him running has worn off now that he, once again, feels trapped. If he closes his eyes it feels like he never left. When he opens them again, he wonders if he should have.
He's no closer to answers. He's starting to wonder if those even exist.
Vito runs his thumb over the bandage and winces as pain jumps from the stitches beneath it. He doesn't mind the feeling, in fact it's the most real thing in this place. The pain reminds him of what he did. It reminds him that he did something when the last year seemed to have happened to him.
And as fearful of Vito is of this place and the people he's met here, he's also proud for the first time in a while.
"Did anyone come here with you?"
When he looks up, Mina is staring at him with the same intensity as before. Her eyes search him even before he speaks, no doubt wondering if he's lying or holding back. Vito hasn't done either of those things. No matter that Mina doesn't seem to trust him, he has to trust her. For the last couple of days, she's been his only connection to this place.
There's been no sign of the Commander since his first day. No sign of the medic that stitched up his hand since the second when he came to check its healing.
As much as she probably dislikes him, she's all Vito has.
"The driver," Vito says softly. "Hakaru - I think he works for them."
"Anyone else?" She asks sharply and he shakes his head. He can't help but think she looks disappointed and he turns away so he doesn't have to see it. The room dissolves into silence yet again and Vito returns his gaze to the floor. If he could put his own thoughts into words, he might have some questions of his own. Truthfully, he doesn't have any way of knowing whether she'd even answer him.
Vito got the basics from the Commander. Where are we? Deep in the prairies. Who are you? Current Commander of the Protestors. Is it safe here? For now.
He's not sure what else there is to ask. Maybe why Hakaru brought him here at all, but that seems like a question for the driver and not Mina. How long they're going to keep him here, but would she even know? Why the Winners are still here, but that seems both too complicated and too obvious at the same time.
If the same question was asked of him, Vito doesn't know what he'd say in response.
Mina stands and makes her way slowly to the door. He's not sure if she's supposed to be here for a certain amount of time that's now passed or if she's decided she's done of her own accord. Either way, there's a sense of relief that settles in his shoulders and unease that digs deep into his stomach. It might be easier to be alone right now, but that doesn't mean any part of Vito truly wants to be.
Just before she reaches the door, Mina turns back to him. He knows what she's going to ask before her lips even part. It's the same question every time. "Have they told you anything?"
They - the Protestors.
"No," Vito whispers honestly.
Mina nods and opens the door just enough to allow herself through. Vito watches intently as she leaves, hoping to see a glimpse of the outside even though he knows what sits there. It's nothing but endless hallways and pieces of mismatched, dusty furniture. Still, Vito couldn't stop himself from looking if he tried.
Inside this room is just another cell.
Even if this cell seems safer than the last, it's only natural for a prisoner to crave escape. He's just not sure if he has it in him to do it again. He's losing the motivational panic that felt so certain and ran so deep. It's starting to occur to him that there might truly be no place for him in the world.
And Vito doesn't know how much longer he can keep hoping he's wrong.
Zoe would never admit it but, as she carefully folds herself into Mina's cot, she's considering it a peace offering.
The past few days have been more tense than usual, in part because they're still fucking stuck here. Not only that, but the broadcast of the newest season has been putting everyone on edge. They're not required to watch it, but no one is exactly fighting to turn it off either. As much as the memories hurt, the television is their only connection to what's happening outside.
It's not like Levi or the Commander is busting down their door to tell them anything.
Zoe knows she hasn't exactly been the best roommate lately. She can feel the tension all but bursting from her skull but there's nowhere to put it. There's nothing to do in this room but watch television and wait for the next meal to come. They talk, for fuck's sake sometimes it feels like someone's always talking, but there's nothing new to say to each other. The only person who ever gets to leave this room is Mina.
Zoe lays down next to her on the pillow and Mina turns ever so slightly away. As much as Zoe knows she should apologize, the words feel like pins in her mouth when she tries. It seems like she always has something worth apologizing for, but she doesn't want to. What she wants is to get out of this dungeon where there's something to think about besides the fact that half of them are missing.
And that one is never coming back.
"Yes?" Mina whispers as she lays a careful hand on her shoulder. Zoe knows she wasn't sleeping, but the question still startles her. She doesn't know what she's supposed to say when their last conversation ended with her telling Mina to go fuck herself.
Zoe didn't mean it. She knows that Mina knows it too. They're all at their wits end with each other no matter that they're all any of them has right now. The way Calvin looks at her sometimes, Zoe firmly believes he would be just as fast to punch her in the face as he would to hug her. She feels the same way.
"Are we okay?" Zoe whispers back. She knows it's not an apology or even close to one, but it's all she can bring herself to say.
There's a pause before Mina turns back to face her. "Yeah, we're okay."
Zoe smiles softly. The last thing she wants to do is fight with her, but lately that's all they seem to do. In truth, Zoe's jealous. She's jealous that Mina gets to leave their little bunker multiple times a day. She's jealous that she probably knows more about going on than what she shares. She's jealous that all of this doesn't seem to be hitting Mina nearly as hard even though she knows that's not true.
"I saw him again," Mina says softly. By the expression on her face, Zoe can tell that this is a peace offering of her own.
She nestles further into her side of the pillow. "Is it weird seeing him not covered in blood?"
Mina rolls her eyes. "I thought that about you too."
"Yeah but I'm so much cooler than I looked on TV."
"He's alone," Mina continues.
"Lucky."
She sighs. "I don't think he'd agree. They haven't told him anything about what's going on here either."
"He really is part of the family," Zoe says bitterly.
"Has Levi come by at all?"
Zoe shakes her head. "Not since he pulled Raj."
She estimates it's been about a week since she's seen the guy. For four days in a row he pulled each of them alone to a different room. They were asked not to talk about what they were asked, but that doesn't mean any of them listened. Levi was asking about their seasons, what they knew about their fellow contestants. He asked them about their lives before The Cut.
Truthfully, it was the first time Zoe had thought about those topics in years. She thinks she would've been perfectly fine not doing it that day either.
"Oh," Mina hums. It's not hard to tell that there's something else she wants to say, but her sentence ends there. Zoe considers pushing her, but decides maybe another day. It's not like she has any shortage of those to look forward to.
Zoe doesn't remember falling asleep, but soon enough she flinches awake to the familiar sound of TV static. She launches her pillow across the room and hits the screen head on, but the noise doesn't stop. The three other bunks come alive with groaning as each of the Winners is pulled from sleep. The old television hasn't done this in months, but it's never been good news.
As Zoe's eyes start to focus on the grainy broadcast, any words that might've been ready on her tongue are stripped away.
"Tragedy has struck again in North Bay, Ontario. Early this morning, first responders were alerted to a potential blaze near the intersection of Mcgruthers and Chadbourne. A well-known rescue farm owned by missing person Calvin Delinger is said to have been affected. We have helicopters above the site of the incident now."
Zoe barely registers the words, but she doesn't need to. Even having been pulled from a dead sleep, she knows exactly what she's looking at. Her limbs feel heavy as she tries to turn to the opposite bunk, but her eyes refuse. All she can do is stare.
For several seconds, that's all any of them can do.
Finally, it's Mina that jumps up from beside her and grabs her bedsheet to drape over the television. It doesn't stop the broadcasters' voices, they can still hear them clearly. However, Zoe's mind refuses to process what any of them are saying.
Even through the bedsheet, her eyes imagine they can see the wanton flames.
When she finally tears her gaze away, she can see them in Calvin's eyes as well. He stares in the direction of the screen as Mina and now Rajan continue to pile linen over it. He doesn't move from where he sat up, even his hands remain dead at his sides. Yet, Zoe has every understanding that he would be reaching desperately for the screen if he thought it would make an inkling of a difference.
Finally there's enough of a barrier that they can't hear any distinctive words. The room settles into silence, but it's nothing like when they were falling asleep. All of them seem to be holding their breath, even Calvin whose eyes still haven't moved from where the screen is hidden. Zoe expects to see anger - it's clear from the image she saw that this was no accident. From what they saw on the news over the past few months, the animals had been relocated to other sanctuaries after Calvin's disappearance. There shouldn't have even been anyone on the property, much less anyone lighting a fucking campfire.
Yet, all she sees in Calvin's eyes is loss.
"What do we do?" Rajan whispers as he sits down with his back to the screen. His eyes seem to be going everywhere except for Calvin, meanwhile Zoe can't seem to look anywhere else. She doesn't know what to do. She wants to scream while at the same time smashing through every thick skull responsible for what they just saw.
Except that's exactly the problem. She doesn't know who to blame.
Zoe's gut says the network, but would they do that? The Winner's projects were the most important thing to the people overseeing them. The network cared more about Calvin's farm, Mina's poems, and her video game than they ever did about the people behind them. Zoe has started to accept the Protestors' hunch that the network was behind Elise's murder.
She's not sure about this.
The Protestors have nothing to gain by burning down his farm. He wasn't going to leave, or was he? Did Calvin say something to Levi to make him believe he was a flight risk? Calvin hasn't mentioned that thought to any of them. Is there another reason the Protestors might've done this?
Is there a reason the network would do it that Zoe just can't see?
A third option?
Her mind is swirling with possibilities but Zoe can't latch onto a single one. It's senseless. No one should be capable of something like this. She doesn't understand and she doesn't want to. The only thing her body craves to do is destroy something but there's nothing within arm's reach, nothing but the people Zoe cares most about.
"Nothing."
The whisper is so soft, but in the dead silence of the room all three of their necks snap towards it. Calvin turns mechanically away from where the screen lays, though his eyes don't appear to see any of them. Tears well inside them, but not a single one falls. Zoe understands the feeling. She knows what it's like to crave the release of tears but find yourself unable to shed them.
They've all lost something that made them see the world a little bit differently.
And, because of that, Zoe knows that he's right.
Sometimes there's nothing you can do.
"They would prefer not to speak with you."
Rory sits stiffly on the unmade sheets sprawled across the small floor. She doesn't look up as the words fall over her, nor when angry tears start to once again build in her eyes. She tells herself again and again that none of it is true.
"You're lying," she spits. The simple act of speaking is somehow enough to drip tears down on the wool blanket. And just as before, when they start there's nothing Rory can do to stop them. She covers her eyes even though she knows Levi can still see her.
At this point she doesn't care. Everything she knows has been ripped away in a matter of minutes. It has to have been days, but Rory doesn't know how many. Val was better at keeping track.
Where are they? The men gave no explanation when they came inside to collect them both. They gave stern instructions to stand, one was placed behind her and another behind Val. As they were led out of their small room, a hundred possibilities ran through Rory's brain.
Not one of them involved Val being pulled down the opposite hallway.
"I'm not," Levi says, his eyes closing softly. The expression makes him appear remorseful, but he doesn't say more. He hadn't been there on the day Val and Rory were separated, but he's come several times since.
And everytime the door opens, Val hopes it will be her.
"Is there anything I can get you?" Levi asks quietly, but his eyes refuse to meet theirs. It's the same song and dance every time - Levi appears with food, Val demands to see Rory, he tells them that she doesn't want to. The first time, Val sobbed until their eyes burned with salt. They didn't want to believe him.
They still don't, but as time moves slowly in their even-smaller room, they've started to. When there's nothing else to do but think, no boxes to open or edges to trace, Val can almost believe it. They only wish they could ask her why.
"Can I send her a message?" Val asks desperately, their voice falling quiet by the last word. If she doesn't want to talk to them, perhaps she won't want this either. Val just doesn't know what to do.
They don't want to be here without her.
Levi swallows as he turns away. "I'm not sure that's a good idea."
"Please," Val whispers as the first tear falls against the wool blanket. They haven't been able to stop shivering since arriving here. Levi's brought them another blanket, but nothing seems to help.
He doesn't turn back to face them, instead walking stiffly to the door. Val closes their eyes, no longer expecting an answer and sure enough they don't get one. As the lock clicks back into place, nothing in the room feels like it's changed.
They're still a prisoner. They're still alone.
What else could they possibly care about?
The Tower doesn't feel quite so empty until he's staring at the security cameras.
The Commander pulls himself closer to the desk and lets his eyes travel across each grainy screen. Normally the hallways would be bustling with activity, or at the very least the bunk rooms would be full. Now, neither of those are true. The Commander ordered the departure of all auxiliary staff several days ago.
By mid-week, the Tower will be nearly as empty as they found it. He's hand-picked the staff slotted to stay, based on every criteria he could think of. The others will be safe at their adjacent bunkers across the nation. The Commander will see to it that the locations of those bunkers are scrubbed from every part of the Tower.
He stands and places a hand on the far edge of the wall. When the Commander had this room made, he never imagined the purpose for which he would use it. Truthfully, he still doesn't know if it's the right one, but he no longer has the luxury of time.
He knows that the Tower is getting tired. He knows because he sees that same exhaustion in his own eyes and in every wrinkle on his forehead. They follow him, and he is so very lucky to have each member in the Protestors. The sacrifices that they've all made are debts that he'll never be able to repay.
Sacrifices. The Commander feels the weight of the word every time it crosses his mind. He wishes that he could call them anything else.
More than anything, he wishes that he could go back and tell Levi that his assumptions are incorrect. He wishes he could say that he isn't willing for those names to be sacrifices for his cause. He wishes he could convince Levi, someone that he's come to love like a son, that he isn't the monster he sees when he closes his eyes.
If only he could make him understand, but that's not within his capabilities. The Commander can't force anyone to like what he's doing, but he has to make this choice. There have been too many losses, and will continue to be too many more, for him to give up. The Cut cannot win. The Commander cannot be like the nation that fails to choose, he has to be stronger.
Even if that makes him wrong in some eyes.
He moves the wall of screens out of the way to reveal a window staring into a small room. The Commander hasn't made up his mind on who will be in it when the screens seal them away in a few days time. It has everything they'll need including microphones that will carry the truth from their lips to the world. He expects he'll be one of them, and hopes that Levi will be able to convince Mina inside as well when the time comes. He's hopeful that Valentine will also cooperate.
But the thing he hopes the most is that Levi will be able to get the others out in time. Just in case FFN finds this room before they can get out.
Even if Levi doesn't trust him, there's no one in this place that the Commander trusts more. He's kind, no matter the hardships that no doubt brought him to the Tower. He sees reason behind the choices that have been made even if he doesn't agree. He's been a valuable part of this place since he arrived. The Commander feels lucky to have gotten to know him.
"It's almost time," he whispers, staring inside a moment longer before closing the wall back over it. Someday, no matter where the Commander ends up, he hopes that Levi will be able to forgive him.
He hopes they all will.
A/N: The sus-plot thickens, and hopefully you've found a few answers in this fun little chapter. Next chapter we return to our contestants to start the games portion of the story. Ready or not here we come.
Reminder that weekly updates will no longer be happening, I will give some warning for when chapters will be dropping in my channel on SYOT Verses. Most likely the first games chapter will not come until the beginning of August due to a writing event I'm participating in.
Finally, the poll closes once I post the next chapter. Go and vote if you haven't already!
~ Olive