*Disclaimer: I do not own the rights to the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles franchise.

*Author's Notes: Well, we made it to chapter 30 of 'Slash's Revenge' and I'm super excited about it. Can you believe that this story officially turned three years old this week? I guess happy birthdays are in order… XD

Thank you all very, very much for sticking with me for so long and for being so tremendously supportive. I appreciate every one of you. You are all awesome! I truly mean that.

Okay, on with the story. Thank you lots and lots for reading. ;)

CJ

Chapter 30 – Unforgiven

There were definite advantages to having hypersensitive hearing, one of which was never needing to concern yourself with someone sneaking up on you. Hence the reason Master Splinter was able to pick up on his oldest son's approach well before the boy actually stepped foot through the doorway.

"How is your brother, Leonardo?"

The turtle in blue seemed impervious to the fact that his father had asked this question without even turning to see who had just entered the room. It wasn't the first time this had happened, and it certainly wouldn't be the last.

"Exhausted, but he'll be okay. April finally convinced him to lie down and get some rest. After that, it took him all of two minutes to start snoring."

A wan smile passed Master Splinter's lips, brightening his features for a few fleeting moments before his face settled back into the heavy frown he had donned the better part of two weeks now. "I am not surprised. He was barely able to hold his head up."

"Yeah. He didn't go down without a fight, though. Casey and I had to practically drag him into his room. He was pretty upset with us."

"Michelangelo is generally not one to hold a grudge. I am sure he will recognize that you were only doing what was best for him and all will be forgiven. Thank you for taking care of him, my son."

Making his way across the room, Leonardo wearily lowered himself onto one of two chairs stationed next to his father before asking, "How's Donnie?" This question was more of a courtesy than a necessity. One look at his wounded brother told Leo all he didn't want to know. The bright flush of red painting Donnie's swollen cheeks coupled with the damp washcloth neatly draped over his forehead meant the fever was still raging inside of him. Then, there was the uncontrollable shaking and the pained expression that never seemed to go away. Leo wasn't sure if these things were a result of his brother's physical injuries or his mental ones. Either way, watching Donatello suffer like this was agonizing.

Leonardo had made the mistake of assuming when they found Donnie, things would get better, but he would hardly qualify this as 'better.'

Yes, he was no longer stressing out over Donatello's whereabouts, but he now had a whole new list of things to stress out over.

Though he would've never thought it possible, Leo felt just as helpless as when Donatello had been missing.

He wasn't the only one…

Eyes fixed on his intellectual son, Master Splinter breathed out a dejected sigh. "His condition remains the same."

This was not the update Splinter had wanted to provide, nor was it the one Leonardo had been hoping to hear.

"It's been three days! Why hasn't he woken up?" Leo noticed the substantial quiver in his voice; a strange sound even to his own ears. But he couldn't bring himself to care about the obvious demonstration of weakness. Given the circumstances, he was none too concerned about showing a slight chink in his armor.

They had all done their fair share of vocal cracking these past couple weeks.

Master Splinter was no exception.

"I do not know, Leonardo. Let us hope that the antibiotics Mr. Jones was able to procure for Donatello will help your brother return to us."

The reminder of Casey's 'charitable' gesture made Leo's mouth twist into a tight grimace. Deep down inside, the blue-clad turtle knew he should be grateful that the human boy had been able to provide them with medication that could potentially aid in Donatello's recovery, but the more rational part of the Leonardo's brain couldn't help but to wonder where the drugs had, in fact, come from. One doesn't generally just happen across antibiotics or 'find' them as Casey had claimed.

The whole thing struck Leo as suspicious, but no one had questioned Casey on the matter, far too focused on doing what was best for Donnie. Hence the reason the leader had chosen to keep his opinions to himself. If he would've given Casey the third degree about it, the turtle in blue would've no doubt ended up the bad guy.

Still, Leo now had serious reservations about just what kind of person Casey Jones really was.

They had only known the human boy for a few weeks and he had already led the Foot right to the lair, insulted them, helped himself to Master Splinter's last cheesicle, and now, he was dabbling in drug dealing.

Still, Casey had gone out of his way to help the family in their greatest time of need.

As clueless and uncouth as Casey was, Leo needed to cut the teenage boy a little slack. Honorable or not, Casey had proven to be a valuable asset. One Leo should've been thanking, not critiquing.

"Is there something you would like to discuss, Leonardo? You seem to be a bit… distracted."

The eldest turtle suddenly found himself wondering just how long he had gotten sidetracked. He was so exhausted, he was having a difficult time staying focused on anything, but he wasn't about to tell his father this. If he did, he, too, would be sent off to bed, just like his baby brother.

"I was just thinking about Donnie."

Technically, it wasn't a total lie. Though Leo's thoughts had seemed to center around Casey moments before, his ailing brother had been in the forefront of the leader's mind the whole time. Just as he had been since the night of his abduction.

Leonardo's cheerless gaze shifted onto Donnie's abused body; piercing blue eyes stopping to glare at the many contusions lining his brother's neck. The skin beneath where that atrocious collar had been was black and red rather than its usual olive-green pigment, discolored and rubbed raw from the metal band. The same metal band that Slash had presumably dragged Donnie around by, based on the substantial bruising. The same metal band that had been about two sizes too small for the genius turtle's long, thin neck. That's why Donnie had been unable to remove it. It was so tight, there was no way for him to work his fingers underneath the collar.

Fingers…

Shifting his gaze once again, Leonardo was now staring down at Donatello's heavily bandaged right hand. The mangled pointer finger had looked as though someone had heartlessly tried to cut it off with a sharp object.

There was no doubt in Leo's mind that someone was Slash.

There was also no doubt that that was what the missing wire cutters had been used for.

The memory of the gruesome injury made Leonardo clench his own right hand into a tight fist.

Why would Slash do such a thing?

Had he done it as a scare tactic?

As some form of punishment?

Was it just done out of sheer rage?

Or was he actually doing it for his own amusement? His sick, twisted, personal amusement!

Could Slash be that evil?

A simple onceover of Donatello was all the answer Leonardo needed.

Anger festered underneath the leader's skin, intense and powerful, like a geyser slowly and steadily building up pressure far below the surface.

How could that monster do this to Donnie?

How could he do it to anyone for that matter?

No one deserved to be treated in such an inhumane way; most certainly not Donatello.

It was enough to make the oldest brother's fists clench with rage.

At first, all the bitterness Leo was feeling inside had been geared solely towards Slash, but the turtle in blue soon realized it could've just as soon been directed at Raphael.

Their genius brother had been tormented without mercy for days on end, and for what? So Raphael's former pet could get his so-called vengeance?

Well, maybe Slash wouldn't have been searching for revenge if Raphael wouldn't have lost his temper and caused Spike's mutation in the first place.

Or maybe if Raphael wouldn't have spoken so critically about his brothers on a regular basis, Slash wouldn't have tried to kill them.

Or maybe – just maybe – if Raphael wasn't so angry all the time, none of this would have ever happened.

It wasn't right.

Raphael screwed up, but poor Donatello was the one to pay oh so dearly for it.

And now, things may never be the same again, all because Raph went and let his temper spiral out of control.

No, it wasn't right.

Not at all.

"I can tell something else troubles you, Leonardo. Something that goes much deeper than your concern for Donatello. What is it, my son?" Master Splinter's white eyebrows dipped down to express a gentler side; one that was typically reserved for times when his children were hurting or frightened.

For several agonizing moments, the back of Leonardo's throat felt as though it was rapidly filling with the finest of sand. Each swallow grew more and more difficult, but as soon as he spoke, the dam seemed to break. His voice cutting through the imaginary blockage with more ease than Leo himself had anticipated.

"It's about Raph."

"I see." A slight tug of his beard was Splinter's way of indicating he understood, though nothing had really been said yet.

Somehow, Master Splinter just knew.

Michelangelo oftentimes liked to refer to this as his father's 'Splinter Sense.' Whether or not it was an actual sixth sense remained to be proven, but it was creepy nevertheless.

"Tell me, Leonardo. When was the last time you spoke with Raphael?" As to be expected, Master Splinter's tone was impossible to read. Purposely detached for the sake of staying neutral. Keeping his posture pencil straight, he rested his paws neatly in his lap. His outward appearance, just like his tone, gave nothing away, making it far more difficult for his young son to gauge what the 'proper' response should be.

"I… I'm not sure. Yesterday, maybe." The tentativeness in Leonardo's answer divulged the feelings he was trying so hard to hide. Not that it was any use trying to keep things from his father. Despite the leader's best efforts, his sensei could always see right through him.

Through all of them…

Master Splinter may have been the lone rat of the family, but the boys frequently felt like they were the ones caught in a trap.

"I see."

Again, came the usage of the words 'I see,' and again, Leonardo suddenly felt like he was choking on sand.

"He hasn't exactly left his room a whole lot!" It sounded as though Leonardo was defending himself against false allegations. Allegations that had yet to actually be made.

"I did not accuse you of anything, Leonardo."

"I – I know. I just didn't want you to assume that I was avoiding Raph." Rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly, Leonardo's gaze wandered down to the floor to stare blankly at the tops of his oversized feet. The turtle who had just denied avoiding his brother was ironically avoiding eye contact.

"And why I would assume such a thing?" Master Splinter posed the question with no pretense; his voice eerily emotionless. The only external reaction he demonstrated was a barely detectable twitch of his long, white whiskers, which Leonardo never saw. Still too busy gawking at his feet.

"Because Raph and I haven't been talking much."

"You told me this was because Raphael has not left his room."

Poor, unsuspecting Leonardo wasn't even aware he was falling hook, line, and sinker for one of the oldest tricks in the book. Not that he was the only turtle to fall victim to the same fate. No one could play a game of reverse psychology quite the way Hamato Yoshi could. He was a true 'master,' in every sense of the word.

"Yeah, but I'm sure you've noticed we don't talk when he comes out of his room, either." Disappointment laced Leonardo's tone, but there was a hint of bitterness there as well. It was obvious he was holding something back. The lines on his face said as much.

"I have. Is this what is troubling you, my son?"

"I guess so. Sensei, do you – " The remainder of the sentence stayed crazy glued to the tip of Leonardo's tongue and nothing but a sigh passed his lips. As disgusted as he was with Raphael, Leo couldn't bring himself to say it to his father. To say that he actually blamed his hotheaded brother for everything that had come to pass. It didn't feel right as a leader or as a brother.

But still, anger was the oldest turtle's constant companion, burning a hole in his gut. A relentless ache that refused to let him move on.

Leo couldn't help but to wonder if his father felt the same way, too…

"Do I what, Leonardo?"

"Nothing, Sensei. It – It's nothing."

"I can see that you are conflicted, my son, which is understandable considering the circumstances. It is always difficult when those you care about the most hurt you so very badly."

Perhaps no one knew this better than Master Splinter himself. The man he had once thought of as a brother had taken everything from him: his wife, his child, his home…

Leo peered up at his father with both sympathy and pain etched across his face.

"I don't care that he hurt me, Sensei. He shouldn't have hurt Donnie. Raph and I – we swore an oath to protect them. To watch over our little brothers at all costs! How could Raph do that to Donnie?"

Lifting up his left paw to pinch the bridge of his nose, Master Splinter gave a slight shake of the head. "While I do not condone Raphael's actions, I am confident that he regards that oath just as highly as you do, my son. I assure you it was never Raphael's intention to hurt Donatello. Not like this."

This comment seemed to instantly strike a nerve with Leonardo.

"But you weren't there, Sensei! You didn't hear the horrible things he said!"

Master Splinter let go of his nose so as to pat the air in an attempt to settle his eldest boy down. "I am not suggesting that wrongs were not committed. Your brother has a rather unsettling proclivity to shout first, think later. Much, much later. However, I know your brother would willing give his life to protect all of us. Something I believe he has proven, time and time again, if I am not mistaken.

"Though Raphael may not express himself in a traditional or socially acceptable way, he does care very much for the three of you. That is why he is so fiercely protective of you."

"Yeah, well, he didn't protect Donnie." The coldness in Leonardo's tone made Master Splinter shudder, but he understood his eldest son's hostility. Raphael had most certainly played a significant role in all of this.

"A fact that he knows all too well. The remorse he is feeling is crippling him inside. I have seen it with my own eyes. That is why he has barely left his room these past few days.

"Donatello is not your only brother who has been badly hurt by what has transpired."

Leonardo stubbornly cast his gaze back towards his genius sibling, having recognized his father's comments for what they were: a blatant appeal for sympathy.

There was no way in heck Leo was going to get duped into feeling sorry for Raphael.

Not after everything that had happened.

"You can't expect me to just forget what he did."

"No. I cannot. I can only hope that you look inside your heart and find some form of compassion for your brother. He desperately needs it right now."

Sealing his eyes shut, Leo thought back to that awful night Donatello had fled from the lair…

"You're always sorry! I've had it up to here with your excuses, Donnie! What? It wasn't enough that you almost killed Spike? Now, you almost killed all of us with another one of your crazy experiments!"

"Raph… I – I didn't mean to – "

"I don't want to hear it anymore! You're always screwing everything up, Donnie! How many times have you nearly killed us now? How many times, huh?"

"Raph, please… "

"Raphael! That's enough!"

"No! It's not enough! All you ever do is put everyone in danger, Donnie! You're supposed to be the smart one, but you ruin everything you touch! You're the reason Spike's gone! I lost my best friend because of you! It was all your fault! If you weren't such a walking disaster, he'd still be here!"

But then, Leo's head was filled with words Raphael had said after Donnie had been taken from them. Words that had seemingly come from an entirely different turtle…

"I – I can't do this anymore, Leo. I can't just sit around the lair, knowing he's in danger because of me. We should be out there looking for him, twenty-four seven. I know what Sensei said, but every day we fail to find Donnie is another day he thinks we've abandoned him."

"He's gone because of me, Leo! I have to find him, and I'm not coming home until I do!"

"After all the awful things I said to him, he probably thinks I don't even care about him. What if this whole time, he's been thinking we're not coming for him?"

"How could I have been so cruel to him, Leo? What kind of brother am I?"

"I told him he ruined everything, Leo. I called him a screw-up and a walking disaster. Our little brother is being held captive by that merciless psycho because of me. For four days, he's been going through who knows what kind of torture because I can't control my anger."

Leonardo could still hear Raph begging Slash to show mercy, tears gleaming in his normally fierce green eyes as he pleaded…

"I'm sorry, Slash. Sorry for everything I did to make you so bitter. I – I know I wasn't perfect. Far from it, but I tried to take care of you the best I could. Believe me, I did. I thought you knew that. I thought we were friends... Please! If you ever cared about me at all, just tell me where Donnie is. I'm begging you, Spike!"

"I'm sorry for hurting you, Slash. If you have to punish someone for what happened, I'm right here. Don't punish Donnie for what I did to you."

Leo thought back to he and Raph's conversation on the rooftop, just before Master Splinter had finally found Slash…

"I know you think you're to blame for what happened, Raph. But punishing yourself like this – it isn't gonna help Donnie. He needs you to be strong."

"What good is being strong if we don't have a clue where he is? At least if I keep looking, I increase our chances of finding him. I need to do this, Leo. Because staying down in the lair – I can't do it anymore. I need to be out here, doing something."

"Then we'll all look together."

"I can't ask you guys to do that. This! This is all on me."

"This isn't about who's at fault, Raph. This is about making our family whole again. We do this as a team. Remember our rule? No turtle left behind."

Master Splinter had definitely been right about one thing: Donatello wasn't the only brother who had been badly hurt by what had transpired.

They ALL had been.

But knowing this didn't make it any easier to forgive Raphael. Not even a little.

Still, Leo had to question if he was taking the easy way out. It was so simple to blame Raphael for all of this. To make him out to be the 'scapeturtle.' But what good did that do? Raphael was already raking himself over the coals enough as it was…

"How could I have been so cruel to him, Leo? What kind of brother am I?"

"You're the kind of brother who won't rest until we find him and bring him back home. And we will bring him back home."

"I… I – I m – miss h – him."

"Me, too, Raph. Me, too."

It was at this point, Leonardo realized Donnie wasn't the only turtle he missed…

Ever since Donatello's abduction, none of them had been the same.

Leo would've given anything to go back to the way they were… Before all this.

To hear Donnie eagerly gushing over some new experiment.

To see Mikey prancing about the lair in celebration of some unimpressive accomplishment.

To have Raph poke fun at all of them and call them names just because that's what he does.

But could things go back to the way they were?

Could things ever be the same?

Could Leo ever look at Raph again and not blame him?

"I can only hope that you look inside your heart and find some form of compassion for your brother. He desperately needs it right now."

"I will try, Sensei."

"Thank you, my son. That is all I ask."

But the question still remained: was it too much to ask?

To be continued…

*More Author's Notes: OMG! Leo is so torn here. I feel bad for him. Well, truth be told, I feel bad for all of them. This has been hard on the whole family. They're all hurting, big time.

As always, if you are enjoying this story and want to see more, please take a moment to favorite, follow, like, reblog, review and/or comment on it. I appreciate the feedback more than words can possibly say.

Thanks so much for reading, everyone. Please stay safe and healthy. *virtual hugs*

CJ