*Disclaimer: I do not own the rights to the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles franchise.
*Author's Notes: Chapter 31 of 'Slash's Revenge' is finally here! The first chapter of the new year… I truly hope it is worth the long wait.
Huge thanks to everyone still with me. I adore all of you so much. You are awesome, my friends! ;)
And now, on with the chapter… Please enjoy!
CJ
Chapter 31 – Scared of Him
"How much longer do you think it's gonna be 'til he wakes up, April?"
Despite the bleakness of the situation, April couldn't keep a wisp of a smile from playing on her lips. Mikey was like a little kid waiting in a long line to get on his favorite ride. Patience had never been his strong suit.
The way he kept looking at Donnie was so genuine and pure, hanging on his big brother's every breath, eagerly waiting for him to regain consciousness. It pained April to watch Donnie continue to break poor Mikey's heart.
Continue to break her heart…
"I don't know, Mikey. Soon, I hope." Pausing for composure's sake, April ever so gently traced her fingertips across Donatello's forehead. Heat still radiated from his brow, but not nearly as intense as it had the day before. She had that to be thankful for. Perhaps this meant the worst of his fever had finally burned out. "His color looks better today. Don't you think?"
Mikey peered down at Donatello and saw the dozens of bruises staining the genius turtle's skin. Granted, some of the spots were starting to fade to lighter shades of gray, but he still looked as if someone had tried to pound him into the next century. Mikey would hardly call it an improvement over the previous day, but if it made April feel better…
"Yeah. He's actually starting to look a little more green than black and blue." With that said, Mikey climbed onto the bed and scooted up beside his wounded brother, feeling a compelling need to be as close to Donatello as possible. Now that Donnie's vitals were showing signs of improvement, he didn't seem quite as fragile as before. Mikey felt a lot more confident snuggling up to his sleeping sibling.
April continued to stroke Donnie's forehead as she spoke, whisper soft. "He's been through so much."
For a second, Mikey thought April was going to add to her sentence, but she sealed her lips shut.
Maybe she was afraid to say anything more. Like she might lose it if she did.
Mikey understood the feeling all too well.
"It's gonna be okay, April. Donnie's super strong and he's got us to help him get better. We'll be here for him every step of the way."
Sinking her top teeth into her trembling bottom lip, April nodded in agreement just as Donatello's eyelids started to flutter for the third time the past hour.
"Come on, D. Open your eyes for us," April coaxed, mild and sweet, but just like the previous times, the fluttering soon stopped. Just like the previous times, Donatello remained out cold, completely oblivious to the fact that anyone was in the room with him.
"Ahhh, man! Another false alarm! You gotta stop fakin' us out here, bro. Seriously." Placing a hand over one of the many bruised scutes of Donnie's plastron, Mikey gave his ailing brother's chest a few gentle pats, if only to reassure him that he was there.
Over the past several days, Donatello had had numerous bouts of crying out in agony with little to no warning. His tragic howls would echo throughout the lair; a palpable reminder of the torture he had endured. He hadn't actually been conscious during these episodes; just trapped in a nightmare he couldn't seem to wake from. Mikey supposed the eye fluttering was the lesser of two evils. It was far, far more painful to hear his brother suffering, even in his sleep. Mikey wanted so much to comfort poor Donnie, but the wounded turtle remained unresponsive. A disturbing truth that had Mikey feeling totally down in the dumps.
Even though Donnie was lying right there next to him, Mikey was still missing his brainy brother like crazy.
He'd give anything for Donnie to come back to them, including giving up video games and comic books, cold turkey. That's how much he loved his big brother. More than the sun, the moon, and the Amazing Spider-man.
"You all right, Mikey?"
The unmistakable concern in April's oversized blue eyes told Mikey that he must have gotten lost in his thoughts longer than he realized. While this wasn't exactly uncommon for the youngest turtle, he regretted making April worry any more than necessary. Like she didn't have enough to stress over as it was.
"Yeah. I'm okay. I'm just not so good at this whole waiting around thing. I mean, it's been three days since he got home and he's still out of it. I thought he'd be awake by now."
"I know. We all thought that, but apparently, he's not quite ready to wake up yet. Remember, Master Splinter says it's good that he's getting the rest? It's helping his physical recovery."
Mikey's response was a disappointed sigh and his shoulders dipped down right along with his sagging spirits.
It was now April's turn to try to cheer Mikey up. The two of them had been swapping this role back and forth ever since Donatello's abduction. "Don't worry, Mikey. He'll come around soon. I can sense it."
"I hope you're right. I don't know how much longer any of us can take this." The dejected tone of Mikey's voice told April the ninja in orange had more weighing on his mind than just Donatello's condition.
"Are Raph and Leo still not talking?"
The slight shake of Mikey's head would've probably been answer enough, but he went on to say, "Not really. Well, I heard them say 'hey' to each other yesterday morning." The youngest turtle paused to tap his forefinger against his chin while he rolled his eyes skyward in contemplation. "Hmmm... Or was it the day before?"
"Have you tried talking to them about it?"
"In a word: no. I've been too upset about Donnie."
"Do you want me to talk to them about it?"
Twisting his mouth into a crooked little sneer, Mikey stopped to ponder the question for a moment or two. Up until now, he hadn't given it a whole lot of thought. Unlike his two quarrelsome oldest siblings, Mikey's focus was where it should've been: their injured brother.
"Not really. They'll work it out, eventually. They always do… kind of. I guess they don't see eye to eye too much, do they?"
"No. No, they don't." April couldn't help but to think back to what had happened the night of Donnie's capture. It was living proof that Leo wasn't the only one Raph didn't see eye to eye with. The hotheaded turtle had a nasty tendency to rub most people the wrong way; not just his brothers.
Anyone who ever met him could see he was a loose cannon.
In all actuality, it was Raphael's inability to get along with others that had caused this whole mess.
No!
That wasn't true.
It was Slash.
But if Raph hadn't taken that cannister of mutagen from Donnie's lab in the first place…
Stop it, April! You're starting to sound just like Leo!
This isn't Raph's fault.
It's that monster who took Donnie's fault.
If she ever got her hands on that no-good creep…
"I'm so sorry, Donnie. I wish I could've stopped all this."
Almost as if on cue, Donatello's eyelids started to flutter, just like before, only this time, a croaky groan accompanied the rapid eye movement. When the wounded turtle started to stir and shift under the covers, Mikey leaned over him, barely able to contain his excitement.
"That's it, Donnie! Open your eyes, bro!"
April watched on silently, trying not to get her hopes up too high, afraid it would turn out to be just another letdown. There had been so many the last couple of days. She was running a few quarts low on optimism.
"April's here, D. She's been waiting for you to wake up, too. Isn't that right, April?"
A little surprised Mikey had put her on the spot like that, April quietly cleared her throat before answering. "Yeah. Yeah, I'm here, Donnie. We've all been so worried about you. We just want you to come back to us. It's time to open your eyes." April swept her fingertips across Donatello's feverish forehead and her heart sunk when he flinched at the touch. Still, he noticeably reacted to the physical contact. Something he hadn't done earlier when she had been stroking his forehead.
"Donnie?"
A low groan followed her calling out his name, almost like someone whining because the alarm had gone off too early. Donatello twisted his head from side to side while unconsciously shrinking away from both April and Mikey. Their voices seemed to register, just not the words.
"Please wake up, Donnie! For me." Mikey reached out and loosely wrapped a hand around Donnie's right forearm, hoping the gentle gesture might help pacify his frightened brother, but the injured turtle immediately began thrashing about on the bed. Desperately trying to get away from someone he thought was going to hurt him. The distraught reaction made Mikey want to curl up in a ball and cry his eyes out.
Donnie was scared of him.
Scared of his own baby brother…
While Mikey fought off his tears, April tried her best to get through to Donatello. "Donnie, you need to calm down. No one's going to hurt you. Just listen to the sound of my voice."
April cupped her slender hands around Donnie's face, effectively holding his head still. Her grip firm, yet compassionate, as though she was trying to convince him how worried she was about him with just her touch. "It's me, Donnie. April. Your friend."
For a moment, Donatello seemed to settle down in her grasp, but Slash's voice kept ringing in his brain…
"What do you think that little redhead would think of you now? Lying on the floor 'cause you're too much of a weakling to even fight back anymore. You're pitiful."
"Don't you ever talk about April!"
"Ooh! Did I hit a nerve? Heh! It's ridiculous the way you pine after her. Like some lame-o lovesick puppy dog. She doesn't care a thing about you, you know?"
"Yes, she does! She's my friend!"
"Don't make me laugh. You think she'd ever like a freak like you? Your family doesn't even love you. What makes you think someone like her would? Look at you! You're hideous. My bet is she's happy you're gone. Probably telling everyone good riddance."
"Shut up!"
"What'd you say to me?"
"…"
"You must really like gettin' the crap kicked outta you."
"No! Please! J – Just leave m – me alone!"
"Maybe this'll teach you to keep that big mouth of yours shut. Let's see how many hits it takes to knock you out cold, Donnie boy."
No!
NO!
April wasn't his friend. She didn't care a thing about him. Slash had told him as much.
Donatello's eyes flew open, but only for a split-second. As soon as he saw April hovering over him, he tightly sealed his eyelids back shut and cowered away from her like she was going to strike him. "No. Leave me alone." The whimpered plea demonstrated just how frail he was.
"Donnie, please listen to me. It's us! We're not going to hurt you."
"N – No. Please! I said leave me alone."
Just as Donnie was about to start thrashing again, he felt two strong arms wrap around him and pull him near. His first instinct was to panic, but something about the tender embrace told him not to. Then, came the sound of a familiar voice. One that brought him a strange sense of comfort despite the fear seizing hold of him.
He would know that voice anywhere.
"I gotcha, bro. I gotcha. And I love you with all my heart, D. Always have, always will. Nothing's never ever gonna change that. I promise. And I'm gonna keep telling you how much I care about you until you believe it. You're the bestest, onii-chan. I love you lots and lots and lots."
Mikey continued to squeeze his arms around Donnie, being careful of his older brother's wounded shoulder. Before long, he felt someone squeezing back, and he knew it wasn't April, because her hands were still latched onto Donnie's face. The realization of who it was made the tears finally start streaming down Mikey's round, freckled cheeks.
Then, came the hoarse words, "I love you, too, otouto."
"Oh, Donnie! I missed you so much!" Never one to hide his emotions, Mikey buried his face into his genius brother's plastron and began to weep openly.
Still a bit disoriented, Donatello glanced around the room. His room! Or at least he hoped it was.
"Please tell me this isn't just another dream."
"It's real, Donnie," April spoke and the genius turtle could hear the relief in her voice. "You're back home where you belong."
Hearing these words caused Donatello to softly sob, but unlike Mikey, the older turtle made every effort to hide his emotions, not wanting April to see or hear him cry.
Too preoccupied by her own tears, April didn't even notice Donnie's reaction. She was just so overjoyed, she was losing the battle to keep her composure. She pulled her hands away from Donnie to cover her own face at the exact same time as the door to the room was thrown open.
"What's with all the commotion in here? Is he – " Leonardo stopped mid-sentence and mid-entrance when he saw his wounded brother conscious in Mikey's grasp. "D – Donnie?" A full thirty seconds passed before Leo regained his ability to move again. When he did, he rushed to Donatello's side and immediately wriggled his way into the hug to make it a three-way embrace.
From below him, Leonardo heard his genius brother mumble, "Hey, Leo." That was all it took to turn on the eldest turtle's waterworks. He nuzzled his face against the side of Donnie's head, reveling in the moment. A moment he worried might never come. That was what made it so very sweet.
"Welcome back, little brother. It's so good to hear your voice."
After a brief pause, Donatello quietly reciprocated. "It's good to hear yours, too."
The sound of sniffles filled the room, making April cry even harder. She didn't feel right intruding upon the hug between the brothers, so she decided to step out and share the good news with the others. In just a matter of seconds, approaching footsteps could be heard, even over Mikey's blubbering.
Master Splinter was the first to enter the room, followed by April and Casey, and lastly, Raphael, who remained planted in the doorway, unsure of whether or not he should actually cross the threshold. There was a smile etched across his face, thin and pained. He stared at Donatello with a longing expression, wanting so much to get in on the embrace with his brothers, but feeling as though he didn't deserve to take part. He worried his involvement might upset Donnie, and that was the last thing he wanted to do right now.
And so, he stayed out of the way.
"My son! How we have missed you!" Master Splinter's tone was unusually animated, divulging his excitement to see his second youngest child was awake.
"Hey! He's finally decided to rejoin the landing of living, yo." Casey's tone, on the other hand, was characteristically arrogant, but hints of elation came beaming through.
From inside his siblings' entangled arms, Donatello peered up through weary eyes. When he saw his father standing over him, he let a small squeak slip out, but could not manage to form any actual words. Afraid that if he did, he'd start bawling right along with his baby brother.
The genius turtle was still having a tough time believing what he was seeing. After all he had gone through, it was hard to trust his eyesight anymore.
So many nights, he had wished for this exact same moment, only to wake up and find he was still trapped inside a living hell.
That place.
That awful, awful place.
Donatello's breathing started to hitch in his throat as he thought about all the times he been beaten into unconsciousness, and when he would finally come to again, Slash would seize hold of him and beat him some more. It was a never-ending cycle of pain. One that Donnie still wasn't a hundred percent sure he was free from.
What if he was still back at the apartment?
What if this was just a cruel hallucination?
What if he was still Slash's prisoner?
"Your family's never gonna find you. Not unless they search every abandoned building in the city. This is your home now, so you better get used to it."
They're never going to find me…
Never. Going. To. Find. Me.
This isn't real!
"I promise you this is real, my son. You are home, with your family. Leonardo, Raphael, Michelangelo, April, Casey, and myself. We are all here. You are safe."
Donatello hadn't even realized he had spoken the words aloud. Not until yet another family member tried to convince him he was home.
They all kept saying it was real and that he was safe.
Suddenly, the genius turtle was struck by a memory…
"I swear to you I'm real, Donnie. You're safe now. I won't let him hurt you again."
"Yeah, right! You s – said that before and you – y – you let him hurt me! You never came for me, Raph! You! Never! Came!"
"I know. And I'm sorry. But I'm here now."
"No. No! You aren't m – my brother! I know you're n – not, because m – my brother... My brother doesn't – he doesn't care about me!"
"Donnie... that isn't true."
"Y – You – you left m – me for dead!"
"No, Donnie. I know it might seem like that, but we never stopped looking. We just – We didn't know where or how to find you."
"You – You all just left me!"
"That's not true, Donnie. Listen to me. You're not thinking straight right now. Please, Donnie. You – You need to stay where you're at. Okay? Just stand still. I'm gonna come – "
That was the last conversation Donatello could remember, before he had fallen backwards –
Wait!
How was he still alive?
How did he get here?
Had it been real?
Had Raph actually –
Raph…
Donatello wriggled his way out of Leo and Mikey's hold so he could turn his head to lay eyes upon his temperamental brother, who was just standing in the doorway staring back at him with a guilt-ridden expression. It looked as though some invisible force was stopping Raphael from actually entering the room.
An awkward silence fell over the space, but Master Splinter sensed Donatello's confusion and was quick to try to fill in the gaps.
"Raphael found you on a rooftop. Your condition was critical by the time we got to you and you had lost consciousness. We had to give you a blood transfusion and heavy doses of antibiotics. You were very weak and suffering from a terrible infection."
Eyes growing wide, Donatello lifted up the blanket draped over him and was relieved to see his family hadn't had to go to extremes to stop the infection. He knew that amputation was always a possibility when infection and sepsis were involved. Fortunately, all his limbs appeared to be present and accounted for. Sure, they didn't look so great, but a few dozen bumps and bruises were certainly a lot less disturbing to stare at than a bloody stump.
Just the thought of a bloody stump made Donnie's eyes zoom in on his right, middle finger to inspect the damage. His hand was securely wrapped in gauze, but the finger looked as though it was still attached. Slash hadn't succeeded in severing it. It was yet another thing to be grateful for, but he was having a hard time feeling gratitude.
Mostly, he just felt sad…
Shouldn't he have been happy to be home?
To be reunited with his family?
To feel safe again?
But he didn't feel these things…
"It has been three days since we brought you home, my son."
"Th – Three days?"
"Yeah! Three days, bro!" Mikey paused to do the math before stating, "And a total of two weeks since that night in the lab."
That night in the lab…
Through misty eyes, Donatello peered over at Raphael, once again, and the hotheaded turtle shifted his gaze down to the floor. The genius turtle immediately followed suit.
Master Splinter didn't want to push his middle sons too soon, but he could see there was much to be said. "Perhaps we should leave you two to talk."
The suggestion caused Raph's head to snap up and he suddenly found himself staring blankly ahead at his genius brother. All the words the red-masked turtle had wanted to say for the past two weeks were painfully absent, stuck inside a voice box that refused to work. Instead of hearing the apology Raphael so desperately wanted to say, Donatello heard the words from that fateful night…
"You're always sorry! I've had it up to here with your excuses, Donnie! What? It wasn't enough that you almost killed Spike? Now, you almost killed all of us with another one of your crazy experiments!"
"I don't want to hear it anymore! You're always screwing everything up, Donnie! How many times have you nearly killed us now? How many times, huh?"
"All you ever do is put everyone in danger, Donnie! You're supposed to be the smart one, but you ruin everything you touch! You're the reason Spike's gone! I lost my best friend because of you! It was all your fault! If you weren't such a walking disaster, he'd still be here!"
With those words continuing to repeat in his head, Donatello pulled his blanket up to his collarless neck, as if trying to protect himself. Then, came his answer, gruff at the start, but meek and mild by the end. "NO! I don't want to talk right now! I – I'm sorry. It's just that I'm really tired and I think it'd be best if I got some rest."
Master Splinter pinched his beard with his left paw while his brow lowered skeptically. He wasn't convinced that Donatello was being entirely truthful, but he did not wish to argue with the boy after all he had been through.
"Very well. Let us all leave Donatello to rest. We will be back to check on you later, my son."
"Awww! Can't I stay with D? Please, please, please, please, please, pleazzzzzz! I swear I won't make a peep!"
"No, Michelangelo. I believe your brother needs his privacy right now. We would only keep him awake."
Several groans later, Michelangelo trudged out of the room with his shoulders slung low in defeat. April bent down and gently hugged Donnie before leaving, followed by Casey and Leo.
"Get some sleep, my son. There will be time for talk later."
Donatello softly nodded and sunk into his pillow, closing his eyelids as he did so. Not because he was exhausted, but because he could no longer bear to look at the red-masked turtle still staring at him from the doorway.
Once Donnie heard the door to his room seal shut and he was confident he was alone, he could at long last let his tears fall without opposition.
To be continued…
*More Author's Notes: This chapter was such an emotional roller coaster ride. It makes me cry every time I read it. I sure hope you all liked it.
As always, if you are enjoying this story and want me to continue updating it, please oh please take a quick moment to favorite, follow, like, reblog, review and/or comment. The numbers for the last chapter were way down and I worry that readers have grown tired of the story. I could really use some encouragement… If you're still reading, please let me know.
I will continue to pray for everyone's safety during this most difficult time. Thank you all very, very much for reading. I appreciate it more than words can possibly say. And a great big thank you to everyone who read my latest 'TMNT Shell Shot' ('2020'). I'm so super grateful to all of you.
Take care.
CJ