*Disclaimer: I do not own the rights to the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles franchise.

*Author's Notes: At long last, here's the latest chapter of 'Slash's Revenge.' I'm really hoping you all like this one. It's a bit on the dramatic side.

Thank you all so much for reading.

CJ

Chapter 36 – Going Backwards

Ever since Donnie's abduction and consequent rescue, getting up for morning practice had been put on hold for the sake of getting what little shuteye they could. They were all exhausted from their seemingly endless searching, and eventually, caring for Donatello. But now that Donnie's physical wounds were on the mend, the need to watch over him twenty-four-seven was no longer required. They could finally catch up on some much-needed sleep, but for some reason, the turtle in blue found himself staring up at the ceiling, wide awake, despite the early hour.

Something felt off.

Not wrong necessarily, but off.

It burned in the pit of Leonardo's gut, like a bad case of indigestion.

He just couldn't shake the feeling, no matter how hard he tried to go back to sleep.

Letting out a quiet growl of frustration, Leo pushed himself up out of bed to his feet. His body protested how fast he got up, cracking and popping in several different places, but after a while, everything slipped into proper alignment. Leo quickly made his way out of his room to discover that both of his two youngest brothers' doors were open. This got his senses reeling and his head started to fill with dozens of worst-case scenarios. Something he tended to do as the leader.

For obvious reasons, he ran inside Donatello's room first only to find no one there. The bed was a disheveled mess, which wasn't like Donatello at all. More like…

Mikey!

Perhaps Donnie had wandered into Mikey's room sometime in the middle of the night…

That had to be it.

Senses now on overload, Leo sprinted towards his youngest sibling's room and rushed inside.

It was empty as well.

In a state of panic, Leo was about to call out for Sensei when he heard a noise coming from what sounded like the kitchen.

It was too quiet to be Mikey, but too loud to be Master Splinter. Leo would've assumed it was Raph if not for the sound of the hotheaded turtle softly snoring from inside his room. April had gone home for the night, so that led Leo to one alarming conclusion:

An intruder.

An intruder who very well may have done something to his missing brothers.

Slash!

Sneaking back inside his room, Leo scooped up his katanas as fast as turtley possible and held them at ready as he slowly crept towards the kitchen. With his heart thumping wildly inside his chest, he edged along the lair walls until he was standing next to the curtain that kept him from seeing who was inside.

There was definitely someone on the other side of the wall of fabric. He could hear the shuffling of feet and a clicking sound.

Leonardo tightened his grip around the hilts of his katanas and sucked in a deep breath just before bursting through the curtain, weapons drawn. He let out a battle cry and was about to start swinging his swords when he realized that his two baby brothers looked as though they both were going jump right out of their skins.

Lowering his weapons, Leonardo watched the color flee from Donnie's face as though he was petrified, which made the oldest turtle feel about an inch tall. He had just managed to scare the living shell out of his already traumatized genius brother.

"Dude!" Clearly upset, Michelangelo placed his hands atop his head in overly dramatic fashion.

"I'm sorry. I heard noises and thought – " Leo's sentence stopped cold when he realized how foolish it was going to make him sound. Unfortunately, there was no undoing what he had just said. The only thing he could do at this point was damage control. "I was worried something was wrong."

"So you decided to come at us, swords blazing? Not cool, bro!" In a show of disapproval, Mikey's hands went straight to his hips. He puffed out his chest and stood beside Donatello, as though trying to protect him.

After his crazed entrance, Leo couldn't blame his baby brother for being protective.

The leader in blue was about to apologize for his actions for the second time, when it suddenly dawned on him that Donnie was cowering behind a bowl of half-eaten oatmeal.

Oatmeal!

Donnie was eating!

Mikey had somehow gotten Donnie to eat something.

At first, Leo felt a pang of jealousy over the fact that his youngest sibling had succeeded in finally getting their genius brother to eat, but the oldest turtle soon realized he shouldn't look a gift horse in the mouth. Leo just hoped on all that was good in the world that he hadn't gone and spoiled his wounded brother's appetite by terrifying him.

Real smooth, Leonardo…

Trying to play it cool, the blue-masked ninja casually took a seat at the kitchen island and shifted the conversation into small-talk mode, as though nothing significant had just happened. If he was lucky, maybe things would just blow over and Donnie would go back to eating his breakfast.

"You two are up awfully early."

Exhausted, Mikey sank down onto the barstool next to Donnie and slouched over his own breakfast – an almost empty bowl of soggy cereal. The youngest turtle had just gotten up for seconds when Leo had charged inside the kitchen, nearly giving Mikey a heart attack. At the very least, his oldest brother had shaved several years off his life. After a scare like that, Mikey wasn't feeling all that hungry anymore. Mostly, he was worried about his genius brother, who was suddenly shaking like a leaf again.

It figured! Just when Mikey had finally gotten Donnie to chillax a little…

"Yeah. Donnie was having a tough time sleeping, so we thought some food might help take his mind off stuff." Mikey gave Donatello a reassuring glance before shifting his eyes towards Leo. "Sorry if I woke you up, bro. I tried to be super quiet." In all actuality, Mikey's being quiet had had nothing to do with letting the others sleep. It had had everything to do with keeping Donnie calm. The wounded turtle was acting so skittish, Mikey didn't want to do anything that might spook him, like banging around in the kitchen the way he usually did. Donnie seemed to be super sensitive to sounds, almost as though he half-expected Slash to be lurking around every corner. Paranoid thoughts that Leonardo now appeared to be suffering from as well.

"It's all right, Mikey. I couldn't sleep, either." There was a hint of frustration in Leo's tone, but it was quickly replaced by concern. "Are you feeling okay, Donnie? Do you need to take something for the pain?"

Donnie's gaze remained fixed on his oatmeal as he spoke. "I'm fine."

It was a bald-faced lie. They all knew it, but Leo wasn't about to call his injured brother out on it. Not in the fragile emotional state he was in.

"Can I get you anything? How about some orange juice?" Leo was already making a beeline for the refrigerator when his offer was shot down by a whisper-soft voice.

"No thank you."

At the risk of being overaccommodating, Leo poured the charm on extra thick. "Are you sure? I don't mind getting it for you."

A slight shake of the head indicated Donatello's answer was still 'no.'

Feeling somewhat defeated, Leonardo hung his head down and trudged back to his barstool. Once seated again, Leo looked over at Donnie and noticed his genius brother was just jabbing his spoon into his oatmeal. Donatello had yet to take a bite since Leo had entered the room, leaving the oldest turtle to wonder if his brother had really eaten anything at all. That bowl could have been half-full to begin with. A thought that filled Leo with infinite sadness. Donatello already looked so much thinner than normal; his once bruised and swollen face was growing gaunter with each passing day. To the point that he appeared sickly, despite the fact that he was supposedly getting better.

Leo inwardly cringed.

Donnie may have been showing physical signs of improvement, but mentally…

Well, things weren't going all that great in that department. There were the panic attacks, the flashbacks, the refusal to eat, the constant nightmares, not to mention the lack of communication.

Still, just him being in the kitchen was definitely some form of progress. Donnie was actually starting to leave his room, other than just for restroom breaks. That had to count for something.

"It's good to see you out and about, Donnie."

These words made Donatello's cheeks flush with embarrassment as he shyly rubbed the side of his neck. He slowly lifted his head to make eye contact with his oldest brother, but the moment he did, other words began to fill his head. Words that once again made the color flee from his face…

"Ha! You still think your family's coming for you? Are you seriously that naïve?"

"They're still out there! I know they are! Leo would never give up so easily."

"Ah, the great Leonardo. What a disappointment you must be to your fearless leader."

"He doesn't think that!"

"Oh, really? I've seen the way he looks at you. Like you're nothing but a disgrace."

"No, he doesn't!"

"Always looking at you like you don't belong. He never wanted you for a brother, you know? You're too pathetic to hold your own in a fight. You and that stupid stick of yours ruined Leonardo's chance of ever having the perfect ninja team. I'm sure he's thrilled you're gone."

"He is NOT!"

"Why are you so upset, Donnie boy? It's 'cause you know I'm right, isn't it? Old Lame-o-nardo has always favored your brothers over you. Don't deny it."

"You're wrong!"

"And why shouldn't he? Raphael and Michelangelo are ten times the warriors you'll ever be. It's no wonder Leonardo can't stand you. In his eyes, you're just a constant letdown. Forever the weakest link. I wouldn't be surprised if he ordered the family to quit searching. Not that the others would object to the idea."

"…"

"Heh. Giving up on finding you just might be the first thing Raphael and Leonardo ever agreed on. Oh well. Guess that means you're stuck here with me, Donnie boy. Oh, the fun we're gonna have…"

As these awful words resounded inside his head, Donnie was suddenly paralyzed with fear. The wounded turtle's breathing grew choppier and choppier, as though he had just sprinted a marathon and he couldn't catch his breath afterwards. He stared up at Leo like he was terrified of him, throwing the older turtle for a loop. The leader had been nothing but kind. Why would his genius brother be staring at him in such a way?

"What is it, Donnie? What'd I say?"

For several agonizing moments, Donatello just continued to wheeze, his wide eyes fixed on Leo.

"Donnie?" There was no mistaking the distress in Mikey's voice. He was pretty sure that his smartest brother was having some sort of panic attack, but the youngest turtle didn't know what to do. Experience told him that making physical contact with Donatello when he was acting like this was a big no-no. And so, Mikey just continued to softly say his frightened brother's name until his breathing started to normalize.

Little by little, the world came back into focus and Donnie could finally hear his own thoughts again. The voices in his head gradually began to fade away, but the mortified expression on Leonardo's face did not.

Donatello felt his heart plummet to the floor.

Just like that, the words came flooding back in that hideous gravelly voice…

"I've seen the way he looks at you. Like you're nothing but a disgrace."

Was this the 'look' Slash had been referring to?

Was Leo ashamed of his own brother?

"What a disappointment you must be to your fearless leader."

"He never wanted you for a brother, you know?"

"STOP IT!" Donnie howled out, loud enough to no doubt wake up everyone else in the lair. Not that he cared at the moment. All he could concentrate on was that distinct voice echoing inside his brain…

"You and that stupid stick of yours ruined Leonardo's chance of ever having the perfect ninja team. I'm sure he's thrilled you're gone."

"It's no wonder Leonardo can't stand you."

Tears stung Donatello's eyes as he clumsily pushed himself up to his unsteady feet. His intense stare remained fixed on his oldest brother, half livid, half dejected.

Still, Leo had no clue what he had done to get his brother so worked up.

"Stop what, Donnie?" A hint of alarm could be heard in Leonardo's tone, as he, too, pushed himself up to his feet, afraid his wounded brother's wobbly legs were going to collapse underneath him.

Donatello's initial reaction was to take several giant steps backwards, clearly trying to distance himself from his oldest brother. This made Mikey stand, as well, which only served to make Donnie more agitated.

"Stop looking at me that way!" At a loss for trust, Donnie held his hands out in front of him to protect himself from the advances of his two very concerned brothers. For every inch they edged towards him, the injured turtle would take two more steps backwards until his carapace was brushing against the curtain separating him from the rest of the lair. From there, he stopped in his tracks, as if to weigh his options.

Realizing Donatello was a flight risk, Leo halted his momentum so as to not further provoke his already rattled brother. He motioned for Mikey to follow suit, to which the youngest turtle did, perfectly willing to follow his oldest brother's lead on this one. In all honesty, Mikey was just glad that Leo had some kind of a plan, because the turtle in orange had nothing.

"It's all right, Donnie. You don't have to be scared."

Gaze darting from brother to brother, Donatello's expression morphed from suspicious to outraged in less than a second before he shouted, "I'M NOT SCARED!"

"Okay. Okay. Just calm down, Donnie." Leo gently patted the air in hopes of comforting his brother, but the gesture only seemed to get Donatello more riled up. Almost as if Leo was just digging the hole deeper and deeper.

"Don't patronize me, Leo!"

The smooth contours of Leonardo's face turned down into a deep frown that showed his genuine remorse for his actions. He hadn't intended to be condescending, but clearly Donatello had taken it that way. "I didn't mean to. I'm sorry. I'm just really worried about you, Donnie."

This comment instantly pushed a button inside of Donatello and he felt himself shuddering in his shell from a volatile combination of fear and anger. "NO! YOU'RE NOT! I know that look! You're disappointed! Disappointed in me because you – because you think I'm a failure!"

"Wh – What!" No sooner had Leonardo gasped out his response when Raph came dashing into the kitchen. He and Donatello made brief eye contact; just long enough for Raphael to see the tears glistening in the sad, reddish-brown gaze. Donatello then spun on his heels and limped away, much quicker than any of them thought possible.

"Donnie! Wait!" Leo called out for his second youngest brother and was about to chase after him when he felt a firm tug on the back of his arm. The leader in blue turned to lay eyes on an uncharacteristically cross-looking Hamato Michelangelo.

"I got this, Leo. Don't you think you've done enough damage already?" Without even bothering to wait for a response, Mikey was off and running.

The oldest turtle was left to try to piece things together.

No easy task…

"I've done enough damage? What did I do?" The questions were purely rhetorical, not meant for Raphael, the room's only other occupant, to actually answer. Leonardo was just thinking out loud. Something he oftentimes did when he was totally confused.

"What the heck just happened?" This question, however, was not rhetorical. Raph wanted answers and he wanted them now. Here it was, the buttcrack of dawn, and his two little brothers had just bolted out of the kitchen like it was on fire while Leo looked as though he had seen a ghost.

Whatever had gone down had all three of the hotheaded turtle's brothers in a tizzy. Raph was bound and determined to find out what it was.

So was Master Splinter…

The giant rat entered the room with a look of dread etched across his face. "What is going on in here?"

Not at all thrilled with how his day was going so far, Leonardo groaned out his response. "I wish I knew."

"I heard shouting." Master Splinter overstated the obvious, making Leo press his thick fingers into his eye sockets. He felt a headache coming on fast.

"You sure did."

"AND?" As to be expected, Raphael's prodding for more information came out in a growl.

Leonardo took this opportunity to stroll back over to the barstool he had previously been stationed at and plop down onto it with a thud. He then rubbed his hands up and down his face several times before offering up any additional information.

"I couldn't sleep, so I got up to check on things and I heard some noises in the kitchen." Leo decided to leave out the part where he assumed the worst and thought Slash had done something to Mikey and Donnie. He instead skipped ahead to the part where he had inadvertently managed to upset his genius brother. "Mikey and Donnie were in here having breakfast, when all of a sudden, Donnie got all defensive and starting yelling at me."

"Wait! Donnie was eating?" The news of Donnie eating had Raph sounding far more excited than normal, but Leo was quick to pop his temperamental brother's bubble.

"Not exactly." With a wave of his hand, Leo presented the half-full bowl of abandoned oatmeal. "I don't think he actually ate any of it."

Bypassing the part about Donatello eating, Master Splinter took his turn at prodding Leonardo for further information. "You said Donatello got defensive. What did you say that set him off?"

"Nothing! I just said it was good to see him out and about. After that, he just sort of lost it." Shoulders slouched down low, Leo's expression became riddled with shame, as though he had done something wrong.

Master Splinter approached Leonardo and gave the boy's left shoulder a nurturing squeeze, nonverbally reassuring his oldest son he was doing well.

"What else can you tell us about his behavior, Leonardo?"

Swallowing thickly, the blue-masked ninja forced himself to continue. As uncomfortable as this was, he knew his father was only doing it out of Donnie's best interests.

"He seemed to be having a flashback or something. Almost like he didn't even know Mikey and I were in the room with him. I think – I think he was remembering what Slash did to him."

This revelation temporarily made the room fall silent. All three mutants had seen the physical damage Slash had inflicted upon Donatello. They were just now starting to see what mental damage had been done and it angered them more than words could say.

Master Splinter bowed his head, both out of sorrow for his injured son and to hide the incense brewing from within.

Leonardo let out a heavy sigh and turned his gaze away from the others as he fought to keep his emotions under control.

Raphael, however, released a mighty roar that resonated throughout the lair, not feeling the need to conceal the rage building inside of him.

The monster that had done this to their family was still out there.

Slash may have gotten his revenge, but Raph had yet to get his.

Once Donatello got better, Raph would hunt Slash down as promised.

A twinge of guilt then twisted deep in the pit of Raphael's gut.

If he went out seeking revenge against Slash, didn't that make him just as bad as the beast who had hurt them so?

The same beast that had once been Raphael's best friend…

The very same beast Raphael would do anything to turn back to the way he was…

Anything…

Leaving Raphael to wonder, was it revenge he really wanted after all?

To be continued…

*More Author's Notes: Ugh! This chapter once again brought me to tears. I feel so bad for Donnie's brothers. They're all trying so hard to help their genius sibling, but they just don't know how. It's super sad and hurts my heart. Donnie needs another hug…

As always, if you are enjoying this story, please take a couple moments to favorite, follow, like, reblog, review and/or comment on it. I truly love it when you share your thoughts with me and I always look forward to hearing from all of you chapter after chapter.

Thank you all so much for reading. I appreciate you lots and lots!

CJ