*Disclaimer: I do not own the rights to the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles franchise.

*Author's Notes: At long last, I'm back with a new chapter of 'Slash's Revenge' and it's yet another emotional one. Haven't they all been lately? ;)

Thank you from the bottom of my heart to all my readers, followers, and friends. I appreciate you all very, very much. I truly hope you enjoy this installment.

CJ

Chapter 41 – Should've Learned

Head rested on one hand, Leo used his other hand to poke at the sad remains of his breakfast with a fork. His appetite was not as hearty as he had initially thought when his baby brother had loaded his plate with the once steaming-hot pile of scrambled eggs. Of course, Leonardo's sudden loss of appetite may have had something to do with the guilt now gnawing away at pit of his stomach.

He could hear from the kitchen that his decision to leave Raph and Donnie alone to talk was not going well. Their voices were growing louder by the second and they didn't sound the least bit pleasant.

Michelangelo was squirming on his seat as he not so subtly tried to listen in on the conversation. All he had been able to actually make out thus far were the words, "NO! YOU DON'T KNOW!" Mikey wasn't sure what exactly Raph didn't know, but the youngest turtle was one hundred percent sure that Donnie wasn't happy about whatever it was.

"Um, maybe we should go in there." Never real big on patience, Mikey pushed his empty plate aside so he could nervously drum his fingers on the countertop of the kitchen island he was seated at.

As annoying as his youngest child's drumming was, Master Splinter didn't even bat an eye as he spoke in the calmest of tones. "No, Michelangelo. We should not interfere. Your brothers need time to talk things through."

"GO ON!" Were the next decipherable words that came bellowing out of Donatello's bedroom and they made Mikey grimace. Although he didn't want to argue with his father, the turtle in orange couldn't help but notice that the conversation was still increasing in volume.

"HOW COULD YOU?"

"Yeah, uh, it doesn't really sound like they're doing a lot of talking. Mostly just growling and yelling."

"Patience, my son. We must let them work through their differences or they are – " Before Master Splinter was able to finish his sentence, he was interrupted by a thunderous roar from his normally quiet son.

"GET OUT!"

Followed by another even louder thunderous roar…

"I! SAID! GET! OUT!"

And another one…

"NOW!"

Both Leonardo and Michelangelo looked to their father with wide eyes, apparently awaiting his next instructions. It was Master Splinter's turn to grimace as he pushed himself up off his stool. "My mistake. Perhaps this would be a good time to interfere."

Leo and Mikey nodded in agreement and the three occupants of the kitchen sprinted towards Donatello's room just in time to see Raphael sprint across the hall to his own room, slamming the door shut behind him.

"Leonardo, will you please check on Raphael while Michelangelo and I check on Donatello?"

"Hai, Sensei." Despite the fact that Leonardo felt as though he had just gotten the short end of the stick, he approached his hotheaded brother's bedroom without a moment's hesitation. That's only because the leader in blue didn't want his father to see his confidence falter.

You got this, Leo.

Pumping oneself up before talking to Raphael after a heated argument was a necessary step. After all, it was never an enjoyable experience. Not by any means. Whereas Donatello was usually apologetic and full of remorse following a bitter confrontation, Raphael was belligerent and cranky. Even more so than usual.

Leo struck his knuckles against his temperamental brother's door and waited for a response that never came. In the meantime, Master Splinter and Mikey had already stepped inside Donnie's room.

Why did Raph always have to be so dang difficult?

Striking his knuckles on the door again, Leo added his voice to the mix, careful not to let his growing irritation show. "Raph? Can I come in?"

"Get lost, Fearless!"

Leonardo scowled at this. Had it been his father knocking on his door, there was no way in heck Raphael would've told him to 'get lost.' Well, not unless he had a serious death wish…

Torn on whether to knock again or just go inside without permission, Leo decided on the latter, knowing full well that Raph was going to get ticked off either way.

Sure enough…

"Leo! What the shell?! I told you to get lost!"

No sooner had Leo stepped foot inside the room when Raph pushed himself up off his bed and assumed a defensive position, clearly ready for another argument. An argument the older turtle wanted no part of.

The leader in blue was quick to hold up his hands as a show of peace while he cautiously inched closer and closer to his volatile brother. "We need to talk."

"Lemme guess. Splinter's orders?" Raphael's snarky question was accompanied by a blatant eye roll. As to be expected, the hothead was making no attempt to hide his attitude problem.

Somehow, Leonardo managed to hold back an eye roll of his own, but he could not refrain from countering with a highly sarcastic remark. "Why else would I waltz in here knowing you're going to act like a jerk?"

Fortunately for Leo, the comment lightened the mood, seemingly diffusing the ticking time bomb that was Raphael.

A ghost of a smirk played on the temperamental turtle's lips as he plopped back down onto the edge of his bed. Leonardo took this as invitation to draw even closer so that only a couple of feet separated the two eldest brothers. Yes, this put Leo within striking distance, but the leader felt fairly confident he was skilled enough to get out of harm's way if need be. He just hoped it didn't come to that.

"So… What exactly happened?"

The inquiry immediately caused Raphael to hunch forward and bury his face in his hands.

Not a good sign…

Leonardo's expression twisted into a deep frown. "That bad, huh?"

"I totally blew it," was Raphael's muffled reply.

"Uh, yeah. We could hear that."

Jerking his head back up, Raph stared at Leo in slack-jawed disbelief. "Y – You guys heard the argument?"

"Only the really loud parts… " Though they could just make out bits and pieces of the disagreement from the kitchen, Leo had heard enough to know that Raph had said something to get Donatello all riled up. The blue-masked turtle shuddered to think what that had been. Especially since the hotheaded turtle had a long history of speaking without thinking.

"Oh, that's just perfect."

"Well, if it makes you feel any better, we couldn't actually hear anything you said. We mainly just heard Donnie telling you to get out."

Raphael winced at the memory and let out a soft groan. "Don't remind me."

"You were supposed to be trying to patch things up with him." Realizing about five seconds too late that he had just overstated the obvious, Leonardo's expression turned apologetic. He then promptly tried to redirect the conversation before his volatile brother had a chance to hit him with a dreaded 'duh.' "How did you manage to get him so upset?"

If Raph didn't know any better, he would've sworn Leo wanted to compare notes on how to upset Donnie. After all, both older brothers seemed to have a real knack for offending their genius brother the past few days. Although Leo never got himself kicked out of Donnie's room. Raph had reached an all new low with that one. A disturbing fact that made his stomach churn.

Another groan escaped Raph's throat, revealing just how miserable he felt about what had happened. He could still hear his brother's bitter voice ringing in his ear slits…

"You think I'm weak and useless! An embarrassment to the clan! You wished we were never related! You told him that yourself!"

"GO ON! Admit it! Tell me how useless I am again! Tell me how I screw everything up and ruin everything I touch! Say it! Tell me how I'm not worth saving!"

He could still see the hurt look on Donatello's face…

"How could you sit there and defend him after everything he's done! Unless… Unless S – Slash was telling the truth all along! You never c – cared about me!"

Donnie honestly believed that Raphael didn't give a damn about him.

And why shouldn't he?

The hotheaded turtle had given his little brother every reason on Earth to believe he didn't care.

You suck, big time, Raph…

"What can I say? I've got a true gift when it comes to rubbing people the wrong way."

"I've noticed." Taking a seat on the bed next to Raph, Leo pressed his lips into a thin, wry smile. He hoped Raph might find some humor in his comment, but such was not the case.

"This is serious, Leo. I didn't think it was possible to make things worse, but I just did. He's never gonna forgive me." The helpless tone of Raphael's voice seemed to directly contradict his fist slamming down into the mattress beneath him. It was as if he didn't know what to feel inside. He then turned to Leo with a lost expression that uncharacteristically begged the older turtle for guidance.

"He's just pretty emotional right now." It wasn't the most convincing answer ever given, but it was the best Leonardo could come up with at the moment.

Raphael shook his head in disgust. Not because of what Leo had said, but rather, because of what he himself hadn't said. "I didn't even get a chance to say I was sorry."

This instantly sparked Leonardo's curiosity. If Raph hadn't apologized to Donnie…

"What did you say to him?"

Again, Raphael shook his head. "You don't wanna know."

Yes, Leo did. He really, really did.

"Well, whatever it was, you obviously made him furious. Did you bring up what happened in the lab the night he was taken?" Leonardo was sure he had hit the nail right on the head with this guess, but his stubborn younger brother was quick with a "No."

"Then what could you have possibly said to get him so upset?"

"I don't wanna talk about it, Leo!"

Normally, the 'I don't wanna talk about it' spiel would work like a charm on Raph's brothers. Mostly, because they didn't want to get pummeled into the ground by their biggest sibling… But in this instance, Leo wasn't about to back down. He was bound and determined to find out what had happened, even if it meant challenging his most-liable-to-snap brother. "Yeah, well, I do! What did you say, Raph?"

"Let it go, Leo," Raphael warned with a menacing growl. Based on the veins bulging out of his forehead, he was dangerously close to his breaking point.

Still, Leo pushed…

"No! I wanna know what you said!"

Muscles completely rigid, Raphael was about to tear Leo a new hole, but something compelled him not to. Perhaps the sound of his own voice ringing inside his brain…

"Not everything is about you, Leo!"

"You're always screwing everything up, Donnie!"

"You NEVER THINK, Mikey! That's the problem!"

"What's your problem, Fearless?"

"All you ever do is put everyone in danger, Donnie! You're supposed to be the smart one, but you ruin everything you touch!"

The red-masked turtle clenched his eyelids shut at the awful words.

Always with the anger…

Always with the accusations…

Always with the hurting someone…

And yet, here he was, about to repeat the same mistake as though he hadn't learned a damn thing.

No!

Not this time.

Instead of launching his usual verbal attack, Raphael decided it was better to speak the truth. "Fine! I asked him if he thought there was still good in Slash!"

A few seconds of stunned silence followed before Leo howled out his response. "You what?"

Raphael winced at his older brother's screechy reaction, and then, did a facepalm over the predictability of it all. He should've known Leo would get his shell all bent out of shape. "You heard me."

"Why would you ask him that after all he's been through?" Arms waving in the air for dramatic effect, Leo looked as though he was trying to take flight.

The classic case of overreacting had Raph half-tempted to shove the leader off his bed, but the hotheaded turtle was quick to table his violent thoughts.

Knowing my luck, Fearless would fall and break his arm or worse…

Dragging his hand down his face, Raph rolled his eyes towards the ceiling. "I needed to know, okay?"

"Have you gone completely insane?"

"Apparently… " Raphael muttered underneath his breath, clearly exasperated.

Ignoring the comment, Leo went right on with his rant and his arm waving. "You saw the condition Donnie was in when we found him! Slash beat him without an ounce of mercy!"

There was no denying this statement. When they had found Donatello, there had barely been an inch of his skin left unscathed. Still, Raph felt the inexplicable need to defend Slash.

"Yeah, but if it weren't for Slash, Donnie would've died that night we found him!"

With that said, Leonardo's intense eyes narrowed with rage that would've been more befitting of Raph. The leader's seemingly calm exterior kept being racked by intermittent tremors, demonstrating just how close he was to losing his grip. "Yeah, and if it weren't for Slash, Donnie never would've fallen off that rooftop in the first place! He tortured our brother, Raphael!"

"I know that!"

As if to prove Leonardo's point, an all too familiar gruff voice was quick to remind Raph of what that creep had done to Donnie…

"I'm afraid Donatello isn't really feeling up to talking right now. He's had a bit of a rough night."

"Wow! I really enjoyed hearing your brother scream like that, Raphael. Did you?"

"… he's never gonna be the same after what I did to him."

"Me and Donnie-boy spent so much quality time together, you probably won't even recognize him anymore."

"I got him so trained now, he doesn't even bother to fight back. He just lays there while I beat him into the ground over and over and over – "

"I've grown rather fond of kicking the shell out of your brother. He takes a beating so well. Hey. You wanna know what Donnie boy was doing when I left him? Lying on the floor, bleeding and crying like a baby. Bet the stupid, little weakling still is."

Slash had taken pleasure in Donatello's pain.

He had reveled in the family's suffering.

To him, it was all some sort of game. A vile, demented game.

"Then why in the world would you think there's still good in him?"

This question made Raphael shiver in his shell and it suddenly felt like a two-ton boulder was sitting on his chest.

He wasn't sure how to answer his older brother.

It was such a simple question, but Raph didn't have the answer.

It wasn't like he had any proof.

Was it just a hunch?

Was it just wishful thinking?

Or was it something more?

"I – I don't know. I just… I just know how I feel." Regret seeped into Raphael's tone mixed with a heavy hint of his trademark stubbornness. The hotheaded turtle cranked his head to the side so he could stare Leo dead in the eyes as he spoke only to see a look of disappointment wash over the older turtle's face.

"Yeah, well what about how Donnie feels?"

Raphael's breath hitched in the back of his throat at the mere thought of his immediate younger brother.

The turtle in red knew how his brother felt. Donnie had made it abundantly clear just minutes ago…

"You've always cared about him more than me! Don't deny it! Even now, after he did what he did, you still love him more than you ever did me!"

"I know what you really think of me! He told me over and over again!"

"You think I'm weak and useless! An embarrassment to the clan! You wished we were never related! You told him that yourself!"

"How could you sit there and defend him after everything he's done! Unless… Unless S – Slash was telling the truth all along! You never c – cared about me!"

"He thinks I don't care about him." Raphael's gaze made its way down to the floor, looking at nothing in particular. He just couldn't bear to see the disappointment on Leo's face another moment longer. The temperamental turtle felt bad enough as it was.

"Can you blame him?"

Leonardo's harsh words cut like a dull knife, but not nearly as much as Slash's words did…

"I made sure to set old Donnie boy straight on how none of you cared enough about him to even bother looking for him. The devastated look on his face was priceless."

Donnie had been led to believe that no one cared about him, and now, Raphael had given him all the more reason to believe Slash's words were true…

"I know what you really think of me! He told me over and over again!"

Raphael had known what a fragile mental state Donatello was in, and yet, he had marched right into his genius brother's room and defended Slash's actions, like what that monster had done to Donnie meant nothing.

For reasons he could not explain nor even begin to understand, Raph had sided with the very turtle that had nearly killed his own brother.

Ugh!

"I messed everything up." Burying his face in his hands once again, the red-clad turtle breathed out a heavy sigh that seemed to echo.

It was painfully obvious that Raphael was ashamed of himself, but Leonardo offered no sympathy whatsoever. His response came out icy and detached. "At least we can agree on something."

"Ouch." Despite the fact that he definitely had it coming, Raphael was still slightly taken aback by his brother's coldness. He peered up to see Leonardo was now standing over him; a hostile expression darkening his smooth features. His arms were folded across his upper plastron and it looked as though he was gripping his biceps so tightly, he might leave future bruises.

Typical Leo, trying to hold back his anger.

Always striving to be Mr. Perfect…

"The truth hurts, Raph. You should've learned that by now." As soon as the words finished parting from his lips, Leo was heading for the door, still doing his best to keep his composure.

"Where are you going?" There was almost a hint of desperation in Raphael's voice as he called out to his older brother, like he suddenly didn't want him to leave. It was certainly a far cry from when the hotheaded turtle had earlier told Leonardo to 'get lost.'

"I'm going to check on Donnie. Maybe I can repair some of the damage you've done."

That last line nearly made Raphael double over in pain, as if he had been punched in the gut. He then watched on in silence as Leo exited the room, never even bothering to look back to see the hurt expression on the younger turtle's face.

Raphael was left to choke on another apology that never came to be as the words 'maybe I can repair some of the damage you've done' repeated in his brain like a mantra.

Try as he may, Leonardo was never going to be able to repair the damage Raphael had done. Neither could Master Splinter or Michelangelo, for that matter.

There was only one way to repair the damage.

Only one way to make the family whole again.

Balling his hands into taut fists, Raphael's face twisted into a defiant sneer. Determination suddenly pouring off him in sheets, he pushed himself up to his feet.

He finally knew what he had to do.

To be continued…

*More Author's Notes: Is anyone else super nervous about this ending? What's going through Raph's head right now? Yikes! I just feel so bad for Raph in this story. Yes, Donnie has been put through the wringer, but so has Raphael. So much sadness. These poor kids.

Thank you all so very much for reading my story. Please take just a few moments to favorite, follow, like, reblog, review and/or comment. It truly means a lot to me, plus, it's always so wonderful to hear from all of you. I love each and every one of you. TMNT fans are simply the best. 8}

Until next time...

Take care and stay safe.

CJ

PS - Immense thanks to everyone who read my latest 'TMNT Shell Shot' (Different Than Before). I appreciate it more than you know. :)