*Disclaimer: I do not own the rights to the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles franchise.
*Author's Notes: I'm back with a brand-new chapter of 'Slash's Revenge' and this one is pretty darn suspenseful. I'm stressed out just talking about it.
Thank you so much to the following readers for reviewing chapter 43: Pilyarquitect, WraithoftheBlaze, Ralip71, LittleMiss Icequeen, Tripoli and numerous guest readers. I loved reading your thoughts on the chapter. You make me so happy.
Can't wait to read what you all think of this one. Please, please, please let me know. It would really be nice to know who's still with me.
Thanks for reading, everyone!
CJ
Chapter 44 – When in Doubt
The lair was so very quiet without his brothers there.
No Mikey being obnoxious.
No Raph being angry.
No Leo being Leo.
On any normal day, Donatello would have welcomed the rare moment of peace, but as it was, the silence was totally unnerving.
Letting out a lengthy sigh just for the sake of making some kind of noise, Donatello sunk further into his chair.
His laboratory felt emptier than usual. Sure, he typically worked by himself when inside his lab, but he wasn't used to actually being alone.
Not like this…
Who would've ever thought the introverted turtle would find himself longing for company?
The genius ninja scooted his task chair a little closer to his desk and leaned over his keyboard. He had hoped that plugging away at his computer for a while might distract him from his worries, but no such luck. He couldn't stop staring at the display of his T-phone held ever so tightly in his shaky hand.
His family had only been gone for fifteen minutes, but it felt like it had been hours.
He wondered if it was too soon or too neurotic to text or call them for an update. Not that they would even have an update at this point. Chances were, they were still on their way to the apartment building.
Just the thought of that apartment made Donatello shudder in his shell…
"Well, I got news for you, Donnie boy. I'm all you got now, because your family's never gonna find you. Not unless they search every abandoned building in the city. This is your home now, so you better get used to it."
He could never get used to that place.
That awful, awful place…
It haunted his nightmares. It even haunted his waking thoughts.
If Raph had gone back there…
Donatello didn't want to think about it.
Didn't want to think about Raphael…
How could the genius turtle be so worried and angry at the same time? It was quite the conundrum.
A part of him was freaking out over his missing brother, while another part of him still couldn't believe what Raphael had said…
"Did Slash… Did he ever say something to you that might make you think that… that there was still good in him?"
"G – Good in him?"
"Yeah. Like Spike's still there. He - He saved you, you know?"
"He what?!"
"He saved you."
"Saved me?! Saved me! In case you've forgotten, that monster kidnapped me and tortured me!"
"I – I know, but – "
"NO! YOU DON'T KNOW! He kept me in a cage and forced me to wear a leash and muzzle! He made me get down on my hands and knees to eat and drink! He found amusement in humiliating me and beating me into unconsciousness! He let my wounds get so infected, I almost died!"
"Yeah, but when I found you, he could've let you die, yet he didn't! He saved your life."
Donatello shook his head in denial. How could Raph think for one second that Slash had saved his life?
If anything, that horrible monster had ruined it…
"You're good for nothing."
"Pathetic. You always have been."
"Poor, frail, little Donatello."
"Your brothers aren't coming for you."
"Your family doesn't even love you."
"And why should they? You're not worth saving."
"You and I both know they'd all be better off if you were dead."
He had treated him like a mindless pet.
He had stripped him of every last ounce of his dignity and self-esteem.
He had broken him from the inside out.
And yet, despite every atrocious thing that Slash had done to him – had done to all of them – Raphael still loved that monster more than Donatello…
"You're the reason Spike's gone! I lost my best friend because of you! It was all your fault! If you weren't such a walking disaster, he'd still be here!"
Donnie felt the all too familiar sensation of tears pricking his eyes and there was soon moisture running down his face. He was quick to wipe the dampness away, wishing on all that was good that he could wipe away the pain just as easily, but alas, he could not.
The pain was all-encompassing.
His own brother didn't love him…
"The truth is, Raph always thought the least of you. He told me time and time again that you were the most useless one. An embarrassment to the clan."
This knowledge hurt more than anything Slash could have ever said or done to him.
The harsh reality that Raphael cared more about his former pet than him was like someone twisting a knife in his heart.
And now, the hotheaded ninja had run off, presumably to meet up with Slash.
At long last, the two of them could finally team up, just like Raph had always wanted, or so Slash had said…
"Raphael and I could have been the perfect team if not for you and your other brothers constantly holding him back. You were always his weakness. His downfall. He felt sorry for the three of you. Like he was obligated to protect you just because you were his brothers, not because he actually cared. Deep down, he always wanted something more. Something you three could never give him."
"Yet he still chose us over you."
"Like I said, you and your brothers are constantly holding him back. He'll never be satisfied with the life he's trapped in. That's why he resents the three of you so much."
"Oh yeah? If he resents us, then why didn't he choose you when he had the chance?"
"You think he doesn't regret his decision every single day? You think he doesn't long for his freedom? For his opportunity to finally be rid of the likes of you? If he wasn't bound to you by blood, he'd choose me in a heartbeat, and you know it. It's what he's always wanted. You're just not willing to accept that your precious brother loves me more than any of you."
"He does NOT!"
"Oh, what's wrong, Donnie boy? Are you jealous?"
"N – No."
"Ah, ah, ah! I think you're lying to me. You know what I do to liars."
"Please, no!"
"This is for your own good, Donnie boy. I've gotta break you of these bad habits."
"P – Please, d – don't! S – Sto – ahhhhhh!"
An intense shudder ran up and down Donatello's spine at the memory of being beaten into unconsciousness with Slash's enormous fists. Beaten into unconsciousness by Raphael's 'best friend'…
"You're the reason Spike's gone! I lost my best friend because of you!"
The very best friend that Raphael not so secretly cared more about than his own brothers…
The one that Raphael chose to stand behind in spite of all that had happened…
"That's right, Raph. We're not like the others. They're weak, but we're powerful. Our anger makes us strong."
All of a sudden, Donatello didn't feel quite so worried about his missing brother. His own anger bubbled beneath his skin like a flesh-eating virus.
Raph wasn't in danger.
Raph was crawling back to his beloved Spike where he belonged.
No!
NO!
Donatello shook his head from side to side, denial quickly replacing any trace of anger he tried to cling to.
THAT ISN'T TRUE!
His brother had chosen them over Slash!
Raph had made his choice that night on the rooftops.
Donnie had seen it with his own eyes.
Had heard it with his own ear slits…
"Slash! You see! That's what real friends do! They stand up for each other! I'd rather be like my brothers than you any day."
It was Slash who was lying!
It was Slash who had heartlessly convinced Donatello that his brothers hated him.
It was Slash who had vindictively convinced Raphael that his brothers were nothing but burdens.
It was all Slash!
Releasing his grip on his T-phone, Donatello clutched his aching head in his hands. He was so damn confused. He could hear Slash's voice, but at the same time, his volatile brother's voice was trying to break through the storm clouds swirling inside his brain…
"Stay away from me!"
"Donnie?"
"I told you to leave me alone! Haven't you already done enough?"
The words kept getting louder and louder…
Clearer and clearer…
"R – Raph?"
"It's okay, Donnie. Just take it easy. I'm not gonna hurt ya."
"No! You're just up here . . . to tell me how useless I am, again! I – I don't want to hear it! Just! Get! Lost!"
"I'm not goin' anywhere, little brother."
"Back! off!"
"All right."
"Please . . . just leave me alone."
"It's me, Donnie. Raph. I'm right here."
"No! You're – You're not real! You're NOT!"
"I swear to you I'm real, Donnie. You're safe now. I won't let him hurt you again."
"Yeah, right! You s – said that before and you – y – you let him hurt me! You never came for me, Raph! You! Never! Came!"
"I know. And I'm sorry. But I'm here now."
"No. No! You aren't m – my brother! I know you're n – not, because m – my brother . . . My brother doesn't – he doesn't care about me!"
"Donnie . . . that isn't true."
"Y – You – you left m – me for dead!"
"No, Donnie. I know it might seem like that, but we never stopped looking. We just – We didn't know where or how to find you."
Donatello's eyes widened with newfound realization.
Could it be true?
Had his family never stopped looking?
"We spent every night scouring the rooftops and every day losing our minds with worry. We were lost without you."
Was it that they just couldn't find him?
"We are just so grateful to have you home. Every day you were away from us was more painful than the last."
Had everything Slash had told him been a lie to turn him against his family?
"How's it feel to know your family thinks so little of you, they've left you for dead?"
Had they left him for dead?
Or had this whole thing just been part of Slash's demented plan to get revenge on Raphael?
Raphael…
Once again, Donatello found himself staring down at the screen of his T-phone.
He outstretched his fingers towards the shell-shaped mobile device when he heard the soft sound of footsteps approaching from behind.
Donnie internalized a sigh.
His babysitter had finally arrived.
Oh well.
Maybe some quality alone time with the girl of his dreams could help distract him from his troubled thoughts…
Raphael tried to gulp down a mouthful of air, but his throat had closed up on him as he watched the towering shadow creep down the hall, edging closer and closer to the living room where he stood, ready to pounce.
He couldn't breathe.
He couldn't move.
He couldn't even think straight.
All he could do was wait to strike.
Another step closer and the invisible vice around Raphael's already burning chest somehow grew tighter.
He could feel his heart pounding away in a strange, syncopated rhythm, as if the organ wasn't sure what to do inside of him. Torn between whether to continue pumping vital blood throughout his body or bust out of his plastron and make a break for it.
Stiffening his staunch grip around the hilts of his sais, Raphael narrowed his eyes into a homicidal glare just as he sprung forward to launch his attack.
"AHHHHHHHHH!"
There was a sickening 'SMACK' sound and less than a second later, Raph was flattened out on the floor before he even realized what had hit him, his lungs desperately gasping for the breath they'd been denied for far too long now. Rolling onto his side, the hotheaded turtle clutched his abdominal area and wheezed. The unexpected blow to his stomach had hurt like shell, but he was pretty sure it had just knocked the wind out of him. Thankfully, it didn't feel like any of his ribs were broken.
Still, it didn't exactly feel good.
"Ughhhh!"
The downed turtle peered up at his assailant through watery eyes, only to have his breath temporarily stolen away from him once again.
"S – Sensei?! What the – "
"Raphael!" Master Splinter cut his foul-tempered son off before he could finish his question with a potential curse word. Raphael's colorful usage of the English language did not always meet his father's approval. Growing up under the streets of New York City had proven to be a bad influence on Splinter's second-oldest son.
A few more wheezing sounds could be heard from the red-masked turtle as he attempted to get his bearings back. The room was slightly spinning, presumably due to his lack of oxygen.
While Raph laid on the floor waiting for his world to slowly come back into focus, his family gathered around him. Master Splinter looked concerned, Leonardo looked annoyed, and Michelangelo looked amused.
"I am sorry for hitting you, my son, but you left me no choice. What have I taught you about acting without thinking?" Considering the fact that his own child had tried to skewer him just seconds before, Master Splinter's voice remained eerily calm as he spoke.
Raphael's voice, on the other hand, dripped with emotion. His guilt over what had just happened almost tangible.
"Sorry, Sensei. I, uh… I thought you were someone else." A flush of red painted Raphael's cheeks while he gingerly pushed himself up onto his unsteady feet.
"I noticed." There was definite snark in Master Splinter's tone. His lips then curled into a barely noticeable smirk that no one actually saw.
Raph's fierce green eyes volleyed back and forth between his father and brothers before he let out a low growl. "What the heck are you guys doing here?"
"What do you think?" Leonardo made no attempt to hide his disgust. His normally smooth facial features were creased with heavy frown lines as he folded his arms across his chest in a huff.
If Raphael didn't know any better, he'd say his 'fearless' brother was worried about him. This immediately struck the hotheaded turtle as humorous. He opened his mouth to make a snide comment about his older sibling when Mikey inadvertently spared Leo the humiliation.
"Dude! What were you thinking coming here by yourself? You could've got yourself killed!"
The last thing Raphael needed to hear right now was a lecture from Mikey of all turtles. Rolling his eyes towards the ceiling, the turtle in red groaned out his response. Patience clearly spent. "Well, I didn't."
Then, came the icing on the cake: Leo and his 'holier than thou' tone. "Mikey's right, Raph! What you did was reckless and totally irresponsible!"
Raphael shrugged his shoulders, evidently unfazed by his older brother's accusation. "Yeah. That's kind of my thing."
"This is a very serious matter, Raphael. One that I simply cannot overlook. You left the lair without telling anyone where you were going, deliberately putting your life in danger. What is it that you hoped to accomplish in doing so?"
Lifting his gaze to meet his father's stern stare, Raphael's expression softened into a doleful pout. He then lowered his head as though ashamed to admit the truth to his father. "You know why I'm here, Sensei."
"You seek revenge, but the price you are willing to pay is too high, my son. Sacrificing yourself is not the answer. You were wrong to come here alone." Master Splinter reached out a paw and placed it atop Raphael's left shoulder. He felt his son's muscles tense at first, but his shoulder soon sagged down along with his spirits.
"I… I know. But I needed to do something. I made a promise."
Raphael sealed his eyelids shut as his own words echoed inside his brain…
"I swear on my life that I will make him pay!"
The memory made Raphael's breath hitch in his throat.
He had sworn on his life.
He had to do this.
He had to.
"The burden you bear is far too heavy for any one person, my son. You need not carry this weight all on your own."
Prying his eyelids back open, Raphael looked up at Master Splinter once again. Pure conviction was written across the young turtle's face. "This is my fight, Sensei. I have to do this. I have to face… him."
"Slash is a formidable foe, Raphael. I cannot idly stand by and allow you to take on this enemy yourself. Not after all he has done to your brother."
Raphael's eyes doubled in size when it finally occurred to him that one of them was missing. He had been so caught up in his misery, he never thought to ask until now.
"Wait! Where's Donnie?" There was a pang of dread in Raphael's voice that sounded out of place.
Sensing his second oldest brother's despair, Mikey was quick to hold up both hands and gently pat the air in front of him. A soothing motion meant to calm his big brother down. Raph was getting himself all spun up into a tizzy over nothing. "Chillax, bro. He's back at the lair."
"You left him alone?!" Raph shrieked out the words and looked to be on the verge of a panic attack. It was hardly the reaction any of them had expected from the gruff turtle. It was a clear case of overreacting. It wasn't like Donnie was in any kind of danger. He was still safe at home.
Again, Mikey tried to calm his big brother down.
"Nah! April's there with him. He's probably on cloud nine."
Again, Mikey failed.
Not even the revelation that April was there with Donnie seemed to ease Raphael's sudden onset of anxiety. The hotheaded warrior whipped out his T-phone and dialed Donatello's number. It rang several times before transferring to voicemail.
That's when the real panic started to take hold.
"He's not picking up!" Raphael howled, staring down at his T-phone as though he was suddenly terrified of it.
Now, it was Leo's turn to try to calm Raph down.
"After what you said to him earlier, I'm not surprised. Here, let me try." Confident that his genius brother would answer him on the first ring, Leonardo's expression turned smug, but his face soon fell into another frown when he heard Donnie's pre-recorded voice telling him to leave a message.
Just like that, the leader's stomach began to curdle with apprehension.
Why would his brother not be answering his phone?
As if he had tapped directly into Leonardo's troubled thoughts, Mikey, in true optimist fashion, attempted to find a reasonable explanation for why his genius brother wasn't picking up. "M – Maybe he's too distracted by April. You know how Donnie gets whenever she's around. Or he could have accidentally silenced his phone like I'm always doing. Right? I'm sure he's fine."
No one in the room looked the least bit convinced by Michelangelo's possible excuses for why Donatello wasn't responding to them. Not even Mikey himself. In fact, everyone was suddenly looking a little greener than usual.
"Perhaps one of you should contact April." Before Master Splinter finished his sentence, Michelangelo was already dialing the number.
"Hey, Mikey!"
April's casual greeting was almost like a slap to the face. Here they were, all freaking out, and she was totally composed.
Not cool, dudette!
Not cool at all.
Frustrated to no end, Mikey couldn't stop himself from shouting into his T-phone. However, there was no anger in his tone. Only dread. "April! What's going on? Why isn't Donnie answering his phone?"
"Wh – What?" The teenage girl choked out the word, causing Mikey's bright-blue eyes to practically bulge out of their sockets.
"What do you mean 'What?' Aren't you with him?"
A long pause followed Mikey's seemingly simple questions. When April's voice came back on the line, it was much quieter than before, clearly full of guilt. "Listen, Mikey, I'm really, really sorry, but I didn't see your text until just a little while ago. I was busy studying for my history test and wasn't checking my phone. I texted D to let him know I was on my way. You don't think he's – "
Mikey didn't hear the rest of what April had to say. In a state of shock, he had dropped his arms down at his sides and stared up at his family with a lost expression. All color fled from his round, freckled cheeks.
"What is it, Michelangelo? What did she say?" The uncharacteristic alarm in Master Splinter's voice only added to the tension building in the room.
Then, came Mikey's timid response…
"She… She's not there."
Not surprisingly, Raphael was the first to react.
"We have to get back to the lair! NOW!" Though this went without saying, the words set the family into motion. They all made a mad dash for the door, racing towards the Shellraiser as fast their legs would take them.
To be continued…
*More Author's Notes: OMG! This is quite the cliffhanger ending. Why isn't Donnie answering his T-phone? Is it because he's in danger or is there some other reason behind his lack of response? Who's ready for the next chapter? I know I'm super excited to share it.
As always, please take a few moments to favorite, follow, like, reblog, review and/or comment on this story if you are enjoying it. I appreciate the feedback so very much and would absolutely love to hear from all of you. Even if it's just a couple of words to let me know you're still here.
Thank you to each and every one of my readers. I'm so very grateful and blessed to have so many wonderful people reading my stories. There are no words to truly express my gratitude.
Take care, everyone. Until next time…
CJ