9 January 1997
Dear Fred,
I know it's only been a few days, but already my heart feels heavier without you. Furthermore, it's beginning to seem like our time together over the holidays might just be the peak of this whole bloody year.
As soon as I arrived back at school, Harry started up again with his theorising about Malfoy, and now he's convinced that Snape is involved too. It feels like our first year all over again.
Honestly, I don't know if he's right or not, but if I give him any sort of indication that I agree, I don't know how much bolder he might get about the whole ordeal; he's already taking too many risks as it is. I've reasoned away his notions so far, but the evidence is admittedly starting to stack up, and I'm not sure what to do or who to trust.
Could subtly you ask some of the Order members about it? They've been around longer, maybe they have a better understanding of the dynamics at play. I know Snape's relationship with Dumbledore is complex, but I just can't see him as truly evil. Cold? Cruel? Potentially unwashed? Yes, absolutely, but not a villain. Not in the way that Harry thinks, at least.
It seems there's also a werewolf in the mix too, Fenrir Greyback. Malfoy said something about him at Borgin and Burke's over the summer and, according to Harry, Fenrir is the wolf that infected Remus when he was little. I found some old Prophet articles about him in the library and he was aligned with You-know-who's forces during the last war. Harry thinks it's evidence that Malfoy has actually turned, taken the mark and all.
Fred, I feel like I'm going mad; like all the pieces of the puzzle are right in front of my face, but I can't for the life of me figure out how to put them together. And I can't shake the feeling that if I get it wrong, or if I don't do it in time, something terrible is going to happen.
Sorry, I really didn't mean for this letter to be as gloomy as it's turning out.
Tell me how things are at home. Did you talk to your parents about us? You mentioned that you were thinking about it. I don't mind either way, though I'll admit that I'm a little worried about your mum's reaction.
I've gotten the sense that after my relationship with Viktor she thinks that I'm some sort of gold-digging slag, and the fact that she's only finding out that I'm in a relationship with you after you've become wealthy and successful probably isn't going to reflect all that well. Anyway, let me know how it goes if you do.
On the topic of parents, I was thinking that I'd maybe like to bring you home to meet mine. We'd have to get a few stories straight ahead of time, but it feels like something two people in a committed relationship might do, doesn't it? Anyway, let me know what you think.
Apparation lessons start next month, so your days of side-alonging me are almost at an end. Such a shame that I won't feel the urge to vomit on your shoes every time we go to lunch.
I miss you terribly. Say hi to everyone, and stay safe.
Yours,
Hermione
20 January 1997
Dear Hermione,
Heavier is putting it lightly; I hate waking up every day without you – the first morning you were gone, I started making coffee before I realised that there isn't anybody in the flat to drink it now.
Love, you're putting too much pressure on yourself again. There are dozens of witches and wizards in the Order that have all the same information that you have, and none of them are calling for Malfoy or Snape's execution.
I asked around and Tonks and Kingsley both said that Dumbledore has reiterated over and over to them that he trusts Snape. If he's playing up anything contradictory to Malfoy, it's probably a ploy to get information from him (which I'm sure you already guessed). Or maybe Dumbledore is playing another game altogether.
Malfoy might be dangerous, but, as much as I hate to think about it, so could any of the students and teachers that you walk past every day. Look what happened to Katie.
It's not just your puzzle to parse out, it's mine too. And George's. And Harry's. And the Order's. Whatever comes of it, we'll handle it together. You're not alone, Hermione.
Now, on to less dire topics!
I'd be happy to meet your parents over Easter; Angelina and Lee have even offered to step up my at-home muggle studies so I don't accidentally say something horrifically out of turn. I know your relationship with them is complicated, but it seems that I have an intrinsic impulse to try and get them to like me anyway. Is that stupid? It's probably stupid.
Speaking of complicated relationships, I did not get a chance to talk to my mum, but I did speak with my dad when he stopped into the shop the other day. I'm beginning to think we aren't as clever as we thought, because he wasn't the least bit surprised to hear that I'm hopelessly besotted with you. Although he admittedly has a habit of feigning ignorance when it suits him – don't tell Harry, but he knows what a rubber duck is. Has for years.
Anyway, he's happy for us. Just said to be safe and to treat you well. Fairly certain I've done both, but I trust you'll tell me rather quickly if I'm falling short.
He did say that mum doesn't know, and that I might want to wait until we're both present to tell her. I think that's probably for the best, too; she'll hopefully be less inclined to blurt out something thoughtless. Besides, she's preoccupied with Bill and Fleur right now, anyway.
I know that I haven't ever said it outright to you, or really to anyone but George, but things have been… strained with her, especially in the last few years. My mum, I mean. You know that she wasn't encouraging of the shop at all, but it went further than that. She'd say that we were throwing our lives away, cried about wasted potential and all that tosh.
It bothered me then, despite all of the joking, but what bothered me more was that when the shop started doing well over the summer, she suddenly became supportive. It's definitely not for a handout, mum and dad would never ask any of us for money, but she talks us up now. Brags to her family and all.
You said you were concerned that she'd judge you because it might seem like you waited until I was successful to show an interest in me, but that's the furthest thing from the truth. You were the one that knew about the money from Harry and didn't tell anyone; you were the one that talked me off a ledge countless times when we were in product development last year and I was ready to rip all of my hair out; you were the one that told me to leave school with George, even though I know how much it hurt you to do it.
I've never once felt like you didn't support me, Hermione, or like you didn't believe in me.
And, while it makes me really sad, I can't say the same about my mum.
So, if she has a problem with you or with us, if she even implies that I'm anything short of the luckiest man alive to call you mine, she can sod off until she sees reason.
I'm sure you'll be as brilliant at apparating as you are with everything else you attempt. And no, I can admit that I won't miss the dry-heaving (charming as it is).
George says hullo — so do Angie, Alicia, Lee and Verity. It's like a bloody halfway house over here.
Yours truly,
Fred
1 February 1997
Dear Fred,
How do you feel about being down a brother? Just the one – you have four to spare, after all. You probably wouldn't even notice, save for maybe around Christmas.
In all seriousness, I'm not currently speaking to Ron (or Won-Won, as he's now colloquially known). I think he suspects that there's something Harry knows that he doesn't, and he's taking the approach of being horribly insufferable in just about every way that he can manage in order to spite me.
I mentioned it to Lavender and she said she was going to try and speak with him – I also told her that if she doesn't cool it with the nicknames, I'm going to have no choice but to smother her in her sleep. I think she took me seriously because I caught her warding the curtains around her bed last night.
Anyway, the first day of apparition instruction went really well – the last few times I got this really tingly sensation all over, and a pressure in my ears like they were going to pop. That's probably a silly thing to be excited over in the grand scheme of things, I suppose. Harry doesn't care all that much because he reckons that he can just fly everywhere, but I personally find that a much less agreeable mode of transportation. (At least when there isn't a dashing delinquent at my back.)
Your dad is a very sweet man, and it makes me happy to know that he's okay with us. And yes, I did parse out some time ago that the Head of the Misuse of Magical Artefacts Office might not be totally oblivious to topics related to muggles and their artefacts. But it was incredibly kind of him to pretend for mine and Harry's sake.
I didn't mean to strike a nerve about your mum. I knew there was probably more to it than the obvious, but I didn't realise that it bothered you so much. If you'd like, we can speak to her over Easter as well. Or it can wait until summer – like you said, she's engrossed with Bill and Fleur for the time being.
Maybe we can tell her and Ron at the same time and then jump a portkey to Jamaica until things die down. You, me, a bikini and a bottle of rum on the beach. Angie can help at the shop, right?
Speaking of Easter, I checked the dates and we're off from 24 March through 5 April. I'll have to ask my mum, but maybe you could home over for dinner the week before the holiday? Or maybe lunch would be better…
To be honest, this is such a normal occurrence that I'm struggling a little with the logistics. How does one plan a relationship milestone without the threat of mortal peril looming overhead? I mean, I guess that's still technically present, but still.
Sorry, this is a short (and slightly rambling) letter, but I promise to write more next week; I have a charms essay to finish, and I want to spend a little extra time on potions. Class has been a bit more competitive this year and, though I recognise that it's juvenile, I will not have my class standing usurped by a vandalised old book.
Love you!
Yours always,
Hermione
P.S. I meant to ask this in my last letter and forgot; it's extremely confidential for the time being, so don't go probing The Order about it (or anyone else, for that matter).
Have you ever heard of something called a horcrux?