Green Light in the Dark

by AStrangeHopefulDreamer

AU in which Sirius Black had a daughter with Marlene McKinnon. Following the death of her mother and godparents and the imprisonment of her father, Aurora Black is moved from home to home with various members of the Black family until she finally arrives at Hogwarts and finds not only new friends, but a true home. (Please keep comments respectful and think before you type.)

137. Puzzles

Aurora didn't sleep well that night, tossing and turning and worrying — about Harry, about Umbridge, about what had passed between her and Theo, and what she had revealed to him. She arrived to breakfast late, feeling groggy, and forced herself to take a small cup of coffee to revive herself. Leah was beside her, muttering to Gwen about how ridiculous it was that Umbridge had been made Headmistress, that Dumbledore had clearly been forced out, and the Ministry completing its mission of destroying everything that Hogwarts had become under him.

Aurora waited until later to pin the Inquisitorial Squad badge to her robes. "Professor Umbridge wants me on her side," she told Leah, when she asked about it, appearing — as Aurora had expected — quite aghast. "I don't know why, but sticking by her could be a good thing. This is the reality we're stuck in."

Leah was not impressed by this, and Aurora fought to suppress the gnawing anxiety that she was doing the wrong thing. But she knew she had the right intentions, and told herself that was all that mattered.

That first day, it was like a battle had broken out across the castle. The Weasley twins set any number of pranks and traps upon Umbridge, and in return most of the Inquisitorial Squad docked points from any Gryffindor they spotted so much as grimacing in the corridors, any Hufflepuff talking too loudly, and by the end of it, Graham had disappeared, Angelina Johnson had duelled Cassius, and everywhere Aurora turned, another member of the DA seemed to be hissing at her.

"I suppose they think they're clever," she commented to Theo and Leah, after the squirmy fourth-year Creevey had shot her a filthy look and called her a snake. "The whole Slytherin thing. It's ingenious. I'm sure no one's ever thought of such an insult before."

Still, it did irk her. The DA connection was a valuable resource in terms of people. She wanted as many people as possible who would stand with her, if needed. Just in case. It left her feeling vulnerable more than anything, and it was that vulnerability that upset her more than simply being disliked.

Elise spoke to her after dinner, quite upset by the whole thing. "Everyone from the DA's saying you're a traitor," she whispered as they sat on a desk in an empty, dusty classroom, the door locked. "But you're not, right?"

"Of course not," Aurora told her, putting an arm around her shoulders. "But it's okay that people think I am. I want Umbridge to think I'm on her side, for reasons I can't really tell you."

Elise chewed on her lip. "Harry's friends are upset with you, I think. Ron, mostly."

"I don't care what Ronald Weasley thinks of me," Aurora muttered, then frowned. "Is Harry upset?"

"I don't think so. Not as much as them."

"Well. He should at least be pretending to be."

Elise let out a nervous laugh. "I think he's worried about you. But he won't tell me why, and you won't tell me what's going on." Her tone was as accusatory as it was concerned.

"It's complicated."

"Well, duh." Elise rolled her eyes, leaning back against the desk and staring up at the stone ceiling. "You always say everything's complicated."

"Do I?"

"Yeah. Like you think your life's some big massive puzzle or, like, an equation or something. I just wish people would tell me things! I'm not a kid."

But you are, Aurora wanted to say, and stopped herself. She had been frustrated like Elise, too, feeling like she was kept in the dark, confused and untrusted with important secrets. But she also didn't want Elise to have to deal with the secrets she was keeping. She wanted her to be a kid in the ways Aurora herself had not really been allowed to.

"Harry thinks I'm working with Umbridge because I like her, despite me actually trying to warn him about what was going on. But Harry's always finding something new to be upset with me over."

Elise frowned, folding her arms. "Sounds like he's being stupid."

"He is," Aurora agreed. "It'll blow over, though. In the meantime, you keep quiet about anything to do with the DA, alright? Umbridge's detentions are quite horrible and I don't want you getting yourself in any trouble."

"I'll be fine," Elise said, rolling her eyes as though Aurora were being overbearing. "I just don't want people thinking you're a traitor."

"They have to think that," Aurora told her quickly. "Everyone has to, think I'm on Umbridge's side, so that she thinks that too, okay?"

"But you're not!" Elise said indignantly. "And people are being really, really mean about you!"

It rattled Aurora to see Elise so defensive on her behalf. She was upset, she realised, to think that people disliked Aurora, and so disarmingly assured of Aurora's goodness that for a moment, she couldn't muster any sort of reply. "I'm used to it," she settled on telling her cousin, who did not seem at all reassured by this. "You don't have to defend my honour."

"But they're — you're not a bad person!"

"I know that. And you know that." She swallowed tightly. "I appreciate you trying, Elise. But it's really okay. This is what needs to happen."

"It isn't fair!"

"None of this is," she reminded Elise, keeping her voice soft. "But hopefully soon, things will be better, yeah?" She reached out and squeezed Elise's shoulder, before bringing her in for a hug. "You just keep your head down and stay safe, alright? That'll make me feel better about it all."

"Are you sure?" Elise mumbled into her shoulder. "Because I do want to hex some people. I don't know why you let them think the worst of you!"

Me neither, Aurora wanted to say. "It's what's necessary. It doesn't bother me." Except the thought had her holding Elise tighter, wishing that everybody had that confidence in her. Wishing that she could just be good enough for the people who mattered.

-*

The Slytherin Quidditch team was called into Snape's office first thing the next morning, to discuss the unexpected disappearance of Graham Montague while on Inquisitorial Squad duties. Umbridge kept watch over them all as their head of house informed them, and Aurora's heart sank.

"It is my understanding," Snape told them, "that Mister Montague had appointed Miss Black as captain next year. Of course, the decision was not his to make… But if the team wishes Miss Black to act as captain in the interim, until we can locate Mister Montague, I would support that. With the Headmistress's permission."

"Of course," Umbridge simpered, "I am sure Miss Black would do Slytherin House proud."

Not like this. She didn't want the captaincy like this; no one knew where Graham was, he could be hurt, he could be dead, and Merlin, they should have stuck together, she should have made sure he didn't say the wrong thing to the wrong person.

"I…" She faltered, and hated herself for it. She couldn't have another person she cared about die. She had to believe he was alright. "Yes, of course, I would be happy to accept — if my team agrees." She glanced at Cassius, but he had a faraway look in his eye, as though searching for Graham in the cold stone wall of the dungeon office.

"She's not experienced enough," Draco said, after the rest of the team's silence, and her heart sank. Her eyes stung with betrayal.

"I've been on this team for almost four years now, Draco. More than anyone except Graham and you."

"Yeah, but you were a reserve."

"And yet, I'm still a better Seeker than you," she said coolly. His cheeks flamed, and Felix Vaisey let out a snort of laughter. "And Graham thought you didn't have the necessary responsibility."

"That's not true!"

"He told me so himself. There's no need to get so upset, Draco."

"I should be the captain, I've got way more experience than you, and you don't even know — Professors!" He turned to Snape and Umbridge, furious.

"He does have a point," Vincent muttered, looking at Snape, and Aurora seethed as Gregory nodded along. "And she's a girl."

"Oh, for Merlin's sake, are you actually being serious—"

"I think Aurora should be captain," Felix put in. "If she's going to be captain next year anyway, it makes sense for continuity reasons."

"She's not going to be captain," Draco spat, "is she, Professor Snape?"

Snape blinked, assessing, and Aurora knew the words he was about to speak before his mouth even opened. "I have not yet made my choice. But I am not beholden to Montague's opinions, nor shall I have them taken as given."

"I think this should be put to a vote," Umbridge said sweetly, though her sharp gaze went between Aurora and Draco, keen to catch sight of a family rift. Aurora tried to even out her expression, but she was seething. Another betrayal from her cousin, who didn't even care about Graham, or the team, or anything but himself. "All for Miss Black?"

Aurora raised her own hand immediately, as did Felix and Cassius, and then, rather more reluctantly, James Urquhart. Draco, Vincent, and Greg all kept their arms firmly folded, while Miles Bletchley looked uncomfortably around the room, made a move as if to raise his arm for just a second, then thought better of it and sat back.

"Well." Snape barely disguised his glee, lips lifting in a smirk that twisted her stomach with hatred. "It seems, Miss Black, you do not have the confidence of your teammates."

"It's a tie, and Graham would vote for me if he was here!"

"It is not a tie. Voting for yourself is not allowed." Draco let out a sharp, mean laugh. "Nor is it particularly dignified."

"Well, if Graham was here, it would be a tie, and as he is the rightful captain, I feel his should be the deciding vote. And no one else has any better ideas!"

"I am sure Mister Malfoy could muster some support."

"Oh, that is—"

"I'd be delighted to accept the captaincy, Professor," Draco said with a smirk. Aurora clenched her fists. "Of course, if my team supports me."

"Well, I don't," Aurora snapped.

"Nor I," said Felix, and Cassius shook his head.

"Graham wanted Aurora to be captain. And I'm technically Vice-Captain, so if you won't let it be Aurora…" He gripped the side of his chair, like he was scared he was about to topple out of it. "Should be me."

Draco rolled his eyes. "Another vote, then. Great. All for me?"

He raised his own hand and Aurora snapped, "You can't vote for yourself."

But Vincent and Greg and Bletchley followed and then, the traitor, Urquhart. "I just want someone to do it," he said with a shrug.

Bastard.

"Fine," Aurora said, grinding her teeth. "Congratulations. Can I go now? I have to study for my O.W.L.s."

Snape sighed and waved a hand. "You're all dismissed. Unless Headmistress Umbridge would like to add anything?"

"Not at all," she said sweetly. "I think this is a lovely outcome from a very tragic situation. Though I would like a word with Mister Malfoy."

"Of course, Professor," Draco said smoothly, and Aurora resisted the urge to smack him with her satchel on the way out as she hurried out the dungeons, trying to calm herself down from the rush of anger that threatened to consume her.

Graham was gone and Draco didn't care, Draco didn't respect him, and Graham was gone and someone had hurt him and she had to find out who. She opened the Marauder's Map in fury, heading for the staircase where Potter was making his way down to breakfast with his friends, and hurried onwards, head ringing with anger and fear and that restless urge to do something, anything.

When she found him she went right up to him, ignoring Hermione's squeal of surprise and Weasley's shout and asked, "Do you know where Graham is?"

His eyes widened comically. "No. Black, I don't—"

"Do you know what happened to him?"

"I…"

"Do you? You do." Her hand curled into a fist around her wand. "Tell me what happened. Now."

"I really don't know."

"Yes, you do. I can see it in your eyes, you're an awful liar."

She lunged forward and Weasley grabbed her shoulder, shoving her back. "Stay away from him!"

"Do you know what happened too, Weasley? Do you want to tell me why my friend is missing?"

"Why would you assume it's us that did something?"

"Because it's always you three! Something goes wrong in my life and there you are, like clockwork, Harry Potter and his mates! Just tell me what happened."

"I don't know!" Potter snapped. "It wasn't us, Black! He pissed Fred and George off and that's all I know!"

"Fred and George. Those bastards—"

"Oi!"

"Look, I'm sorry," Potter said, "I hope he's alright, but he was being a right prat with all this Inquisitorial Squad stuff—"

"He could be dead for all anyone knows! What did they do?"

"I don't—"

"He's in a Vanishing Cabinet," Hermione said in a high-pitched, nervous rush. In a slow moment, the boys stopped their fury in its tracks and turned to stare at her, just as Aurora did.

"What's you tell her that for?" Weasley shouted. "Hermione!"

"Aurora's right, he could be at the bottom of the ocean—"

"It doesn't matter! He's one of them!"

"He's my friend, so shut your mouth."

"Well, it's — she was going to find out when he came back—"

"If he comes back," Aurora replied coolly, heart racing. A Vanishing Cabinet. So not dead, but not necessarily anywhere that he could stay alive. Being forcefully shoved in one of those things was dangerous, but it should also be easy to get back from one. If he wasn't back, he was either too injured, or there was something wrong with the cabinet. And then, that was a whole other problem.

"Well. Thank you for telling me." She stepped back, even though her magic rushing through her desperately wanted an outlet, wanting to curse Potter and Weasley until they were screaming. But she held herself in. That wasn't her, not really. Or at least, she didn't want it to be. So her hand trembled around her wand but did not wield it.

"I'm alright, by the way, since you didn't ask." Harry still watched her in that unnerved way, like a rabbit watching a fox, wondering if it was about to pounce, or slip away unnoticed. "I haven't been expelled, or tortured, and Dumbledore thankfully didn't get murdered or imprisoned."

"I didn't have time—"

"Yeah," Harry said sharply, "you don't have to finish that sentence. I don't want to argue with you, Black—"

"Oh, I'm not Aurora anymore, am I?"

"I haven't ever been Harry to you! I'm just some person you happen to be around who you still think you can fuck over anytime you feel like it!"

"You know damn well that I tried to warn you, that I am not trying to fuck you over! I tried to tell you what was going on even the other night!"

"Yeah, your friend Nott told me Umbridge didn't have any evidence, said not to tell her anything — so I guess you decided it's a good idea to tell a Death Eater's son whatever you like about us? He obviously knew about the DA, you obviously told him!"

"Theo's one of my best friends!"

"His dad's a Death Eater! His grandfather was there when Voldemort tried to kill me, and you trust him?"

She stared at Harry with ice in her chest. "He's my friend," she snarled, wand out instinctively as fury thrummed through her. "He is not his family and I will not stand here and hear you try and slander someone you don't know the first thing about."

"Get your wand away," Weasley snapped at her, and she ignored him, though loosened her grip.

"You can question my judgment if you want, Harry. But I stand by my friends. And I'm trying to stand by you, too."

"Yeah, sure. You're standing by yourself, like always."

"I've told you already!"

"I know." He shot her a filthy look of disgust. "Can you give me the mirror, at least? I want to talk to Sirius, see what the Order are saying."

"No," she said defensively. "I want to talk to him tonight."

"Why?"

"None of your business."

"Well, considering I want to use it, I want to know what's more important than Dumbledore being forced to flee the school?"

"That's personal."

"Right so you just want to complain about me?"

"I hardly ever complain to my dad about you! If you must know, I want to speak to him because I'm upset, because this is the only way I hesitate on hexing both Snape and Draco right now! But I know you talk to my dad when you're annoyed with me, you're the one who complains about me! I'm the one that tries to keep things civil."

"You've never kept things civil in your life!"

"My dad won't hear a word against you from me! So don't claim to know what I talk to him about because that is none of your business, and, for your information, I did call him the other night, to warn him and try to help you. So, kindly, piss off."

"You're the one who started this fight with me!"

"And I don't want to keep fighting!" she snapped, then shoved her wand back down her sleeve. "Piss off."

She turned on her heel, leaving without another word. She thought she was alone, and relished the moment of silence before Pansy appeared round the corner, hurrying over to her.

"Aurora," she called, fretful, "I just heard about Montague, have you? Isn't it awful — what are you doing with them?"

The three Gryffindors were just behind her. Presumably glaring. "Nothing. It's fine, Pansy. They didn't hurt me or anything."

Pansy narrowed her eyes. "Well, I don't like them hanging around you, not after what's happened. Come on." She grabbed Aurora's hand, leading her down the stairs quickly, without another word, and then to the breakfast table, where she sat Aurora down between herself and Theodore and swiftly changed the subject to the next immature prank played by the Weasley twins, and how desperate she was to return home for Easter on Friday and be rid of them.

When Pansy's attention was captured by Daphne on her other side, Theo took the opportunity to lean closer to Aurora and whisper, "Are you alright?"

"Yes. Of course I am. Don't I look alright?"

"You're a little pink. And somewhat moody. Is it about Montague?"

"No. Well, slightly. It's... A whole thing." She shook her head. "I can't tell you here, and I'm fine. I'm just angry, and everyone's shitty and... Yeah." She forced a smile and knew he saw right through it. His fingers brushed against hers beneath the table, and she squeezed his hand in return, taking the leap to try and hold onto him. "I'll be alright."

"You know where I am if you need to talk."

"I do," she said, comforted, then turned away.

Aurora told her father all about the grave injustice of the interim captaincy through the mirror that evening. He responded just as she had hoped, ranting about what an evil, snivelling git Snape was, and how Draco only acted like that because he was jealous of her own talent, and it bolstered her, but at the same time, made her feel somewhat empty instead.

"Sod them all, I say," her dad told her. "Your mate Graham thought you'd be the better captain, clearly most of the rest of the team agreed, 'til that Urquhart changed his mind — and didn't you say he's a reserve anyway? Hardly matters."

"I was a reserve for two years," she reminded him, annoyed. "It just — its not like it's that big a deal. But it is, because he only contested that choice out of spite. If we'd still been friends, he might not have been happy, but he wouldn't have stopped it. And it's petty. It's not a surprise that he's petty, but, it is infuriating."

She let out an annoyed sound and flopped down on her bed, holding the mirror above her face as she glared at the ceiling. "And Harry hates me again, by the way. I'm sure he'll tell you all about it next time I give him this."

"Why? Because of the other night?"

"Yep. Even though I warned him, he's still pissed at me, as if it's my fault! And I tried, but I couldn't stop her going for him, I didn't know Marietta was going to tell Umbridge! And he called me a coward, as if I'm not trying to stop the Ministry, as if I'm not risking anything here, too."

"You're not a coward, Aurora," her dad told her, and she hadn't realised how much she needed him to say that — him, more than anyone else — until he did. "Harry's angry, and you know how he is when he's angry. But from his side, surely you can see how he's seeing this as a betrayal."

"No, I can't! I told him what I was doing—"

"Yes, but that doesn't matter if he thinks you won't stand by him when it matters, in front of anybody else."

"But I can't," Aurora insisted. "I have other things to do, I can't forfeit that just because Potter has a different definition of bravery."

"What things, though, Aurora? What is it that you think you're doing?"

"I'm trying... I want to take her down. I want to find something, that will expose the Ministry's corruption and lies and how cruel Umbridge and Fudge are being. And I — I want to be in a position where I can enact change."

"Change for what?"

"So this doesn't happen again! So the laws like Umbridge's about werewolves, aren't allowed and can't unfairly punish people, and so people can't just get away with hurting muggles and Muggleborns and squibs and not letting them live good lives just because someone decided they're not worthy! I have power and it's not much, but I can't lose it. But I — I don't know what I'm doing. I'm just trying to figure it out and I don't want Harry Potter to keep telling me I'm wrong and cowardly and awful."

"You know Harry doesn't see things the same—"

"I don't care!" Aurora snapped. "I'm fed up of all his pressure and pretense to moral superiority and if you're just going to tell me he's right, then, I'm putting this down."

"Thats not what I'm saying," her father said evenly, though the spark of annoyance in his eye made her want to curl up in shame. "Look, I'll speak to him. But from what I heard he's gotten off lightly, Umbridge didn't have evidence, and he destroyed whatever she thought would tell her who was in on it."

"Because I told him to!" Aurora said. "If it weren't for me, they'd all have been strung up in detention!"

"I suspect his anger is because he thought you were in the DA. He didn't expect you to make nice with Umbridge."

"Well, he should have. I literally told him I was going to!"

"I know, I know. Just let him cool off a bit."

"I'm not sure he's capable of cooling off," she bit out, in a mocking voice. Then she remembered what Potter had said and bit her tongue. "I just... I feel like I'm trying. To be a better person. But he doesn't want to see it, and I'm not doing it for him, but, he's one of the few people who I can allow to see what I'm trying to do, and why, and it's — it's frustrating. That's all. But it's fine, I won't... I don't want to complain to you."

Something in her tone must have caught her father's surprise, and he frowned at her. "Is there something more going on? With Harry."

"No. No, we argued again, but that's nothing unusual. It's alright, I promise. I'm just getting annoyed. Everything recently is going badly, I just needed to get it out my system."

With a wry chuckle, her dad said, "Yeah, I know how you feel. Listen, if you need to insult Snivellus, I am here for as long as you need. I mean, he doesn't know anything about Quidditch — he fell right off his broom our first lesson. He was always jealous of James for how good he was on the pitch. And all else aside, he's just a twat."

Aurora snorted. "I'm aware."

"Don't let him get under your skin. Or Draco, or Umbridge. You're too good for any of them, alright? Anyone with sense knows you deserve that captaincy."

"I don't. Well, more then Draco, but really it should be Cassius, and Graham shouldn't have been shoved into a bloody cabinet anyway, which I'm still trying to figure out what to do about! You won't tell Molly if I mildly threaten and possibly blackmail her kids, will you?"

He gave a weary sigh, but held a conspiratorial smile as he said, "You have my word. Though I would advise, she doesn't need another reason to be mad at us."

"Well, the twins don't tell her anything anyway."

"True."

Aurora sighed, shaking her head. "I just need a break. I wish I was coming home for Easter, but I have to study."

"You are always welcome, you know, even last minute."

"Umbridge would think it suspicious."

"Fuck Umbridge."

"Yeah, yeah — I'll see what I can do on that front while I'm here, if I can manage anything in between O.W.L. revision."

"Oh, come on, you know you'll do great no matter what."

"I don't. I'm getting worse in Herbology, and when I've practiced magic, it's like... I don't quite have the same control. Like there's more itching to get out of me, but I can't access it." She still hadn't told him about Castella, and didn't intend to. Not until she knew what it meant. But something had felt off ever since that night, and she needed to feel it out. "I've got the theory down for most things, except Arithmancy, which is a nightmare."

"You'll be fine," her dad repeated. "Just don't panic, or overwork yourself, okay? You're always far too hard on yourself, and it isn't good for you."

She chewed on her lip, nervous. "Yeah. Sure."

"Keep taking breaks. And if you're miserable, come home. Everyone misses you. Dora wants to talk to you."

"She does?"

"Well, she keeps saying she wished there was another girl around to talk to about... Certain things that are going on. I'm not allowed to tell you."

"Don't tease me with it then!"

Her dad laughed half-heartedly. "You don't even want to know, believe me. Downright disturbing, it is... But anyway. You'll have to come home and grace us with your presence if you want the gossip properly. I've lots to tell you which I want you to be here for."

"That's so not fair!"

Her dad cracked a grin. "Get used to it, sweets."

Aurora rolled her eyes. "Fine. I'd better go, now, anyway, Gwen'll want her privacy with Robin."

Her dad pulled a face. "Don't tell me any more than that, please."

"They're fine, I just hide out in the common room with Theo or Leah."

"Make sure you're not studying," her dad chided. "It's gone eight."

"I won't go to bed for hours yet."

"Yes, but that doesn't mean you keep working until you crash out."

"I won't! I haven't done that in ages! Anyway, I think I'll go see Theo." For a moment, she considered telling her dad about their kiss the other night, but she refrained. She and Theo hadn't even really spoken about it, even though she felt they had to, at some point.

Her father looked rather suspicious anyway. "You've been rather close with this Theo boy recently, haven't you? Anything I should know about?"

"Certainly not," Aurora said primly, cheeks flaming.

Her dad raised his eyebrows. "That was a rather testy response, sweetheart."

"I — we're just..." She didn't like lying to her dad. "We did kiss. A few times." Her dad's mouth fell open and he stared, eyes wide. "But we're not anything official or anything, and we probably won't ever be, because it's a silly idea and nothing could ever come of it, not now, at least, but... Yes. I suppose we are rather... Close. As friends."

"Friends who kissed? Multiple times?" He had a dubious look on his face which made her squirm.

"Well, we can't not be friends, and we can't be anything more than friends. It's complicated."

With a sigh, her father shook his head. "Aurora, I know you probably already know this, but boys like Theodore Nott, regardless of who he is as a person, are dangerous for you to associate with, especially right now, especially in that way."

"Dad, Theo's not his family—"

"I'm not saying that he is. I've enough reasons to be hard on the kid who seems to think he can kiss my daughter, but I know judging him based on his family isn't fair. I'll reserve judgment on him at least until I meet him myself — properly. But this is dangerous. You think Lord Nott would just be alright with you dating his heir? You, a halfblood, his enemy?"

The words stung — they were pointed, almost angry, and made her temper flare. "We're not dating! I'm not Theo's enemy!"

"But you're his family's enemy, whether you like it or not, and you know what people like that would do. They won't just be a bit upset, or try to break you up! They might not stop at trying to force him into another betrothal! If this boy were to date you, he would be deemed a blood traitor, and you the girl who led him astray, and I will not let that happen!"

"We can make our own choices," she snapped. "I know all this, I understand—"

"No, you don't understand!" her dad shouted through the mirror, and she flinched, cold running through her. "You're too young to understand the consequences of this, Aurora!"

"I'm sixteen!"

"Exactly! You're naive, you don't know what you're getting yourself into, and regardless of how great you think this boy is, he's not safe!"

"Theo makes me happy, Dad! I trust him, and that takes a lot, and just because you don't like him—"

"Whether I like him or not remains to be seen, but I certainly don't like his family!"

"Neither does he!"

"Good! I'm glad to hear he's the bare minimum of a decent human being! That doesn't mean you two being together is a good idea, or that you'll be safe!"

"I know that, and that's why we're not! We're just... I don't know what we are, Dad! I don't know and I wish I could just figure it out and I wish we could be together but I know we can't, I know all this, and I — I don't need you to tell me, too! It's shitty enough, and I've had a shitty day already and I just — I just want to be able to be happy!"

"I want you to be happy, but I also want you to be alive!"

"Well, it's not as if they're the only ones who'd want me dead, Bellatrix could do the job just as well." Her father flinched, drawing away from the mirror as if she had just reached through the glass and slapped him. "I'm sorry," she whispered, feeling the bitter curdle of regret in her chest.

"You're in plenty danger already. I don't want you being in any more danger, whether you or this boy realise that it's going to happen. But Aurora, your blood status makes you a target. You know this. Certain pureblood families, they don't want their sons marrying people like you. They won't let it happen."

"I'm not going to marry him."

"They'll still feel threatened by the possibility! By the idea that you might tarnish his bloodline! You know this, Aurora!"

"I know," she whispered, leaning back against her pillows. "I just wish I didn't. It isn't fair that I can't just be with him."

"You're right," her dad told her, "it isn't fair at all. But you have to look out for yourself. You have to use your head, not your heart."

She let out an amused, bitter laugh. "Yes, like you do? Like Harry does? But I have to be perfect and rational at all times, don't I?"

Her father frowned. "That's not what I'm trying to imply, Aurora. I just want you safe. I want you to think about what you're doing — all of it, not just with this boy."

"Yes, well, maybe I don't know, and maybe I don't want to think about it, and maybe, I just want to be a normal sixteen year old with a nice boyfriend and happy, loyal friends, who understand me. But no, eating that means I'm being stupid, doesn't it?"

"I didn't call you stupid, Aurora. But I do think you're being reckless, and that's not like you."

"No, it isn't, it's like you!"

"I can't recall you ever thinking of me as a positive role model."

"Oh, sod off."

"Aurora!"

"Okay, fine. Fine. Maybe… I don't know. I know this isn't ideal but, we're being careful. And it isn't serious. We've been close friends for years, Dad, and I… I really like him."

"It isn't safe. I want you to be happy, Aurora, but… This boy could get you killed. That's the reality. I — I got your mother killed."

"You didn't—"

"Our relationship did. I'm not letting that happen to you."

"It won't!"

"You don't know that! We said that, we thought it'd be fine, us against the world, but the thing is, the world has a habit of screwing people over. And, Merlin, if I could take it all back and save her I would because it was my fault for running headlong into something like that, when I should have known the risk to her, and should have stopped because I loved her!"

"You'd take it back?" she echoed, and his face fell as he realised what he'd said. Tears came unbidden too her cheeks, deep cold resonating inside of her. "And that means me as well, right?"

"Of course not, you know that's not what I meant — I love you, and I love your mother and the time we had… But it killed her—"

"You mean I killed her," Aurora said, voice shaking.

"You know that isn't what I'm saying—"

"I don't want this," she whispered, cold biting at her heart. "Any of this. I don't want to have to think about the possibility of being killed just because I fancy someone, and he fancies me back. I don't want you to try and tell me how to live my life."

"I'm not — I'm trying to warn you, sweetheart. To protect you."

"I don't need you to..." She couldn't finish her sentence. "He really does mean so much to me, Dad. I told him I needed time."

"And did he respect that?"

"Yes. Of course he did. He's Theo." Aurora let out a sigh and leaned back, glaring beyond the mirror, at the murky window to the lake. "I'm not stupid, Dad. I know this is dangerous. But I also know that we're a great team, and that I want to at least try to be with him."

"This isn't you, Aurora. My daughter doesn't just throw all caution to the wind, least of all because of some boy."

"Well, maybe I do. Maybe for once in my life, I just want to have a say in the people who I surround myself with, or I just want to feel wanted, and like I have something or someone that's just... Mine. I shouldn't have even told you — we're not anything, it doesn't matter. I should go."

"Aurora, I'm not trying to — just listen to me. I'm trying to look out for you."

"I know," she said, voice tight. "I know. And I know that it's dangerous, but... He's my friend. And it probably won't happen again. It won't be anything." Her father looked dubious. "I'm careful. We're careful. I..." She found that she didn't have a defence, other than that, stupidly, she wanted to be with Theo. That she couldn't stop herself from having feelings for him, or wanting to be around him and see him smile. "I have to go. Love you. Call over."

Her dad's face swam out of view before she could hear his response. Aurora tossed the mirror into her open drawer, frustrated, before slamming it shut and snatching up the Marauder's Map, looking for the dot attached to Theo's name. He was in his dorm, alone, thankfully. She all but threw herself off her bed and hurried out the door, anger at her father and herself and the world blazing in her chest. Theo was right — what they wanted had to matter, they had to let it matter. They had to make it matter.

But what if it didn't end well? What if it mattered too much and it destroyed them both and everyone that they cared for? If she was able to put all her other feelings aside to be pragamatic, she should do the same now, she reasoned. But she couldn't. Because her father's words rang in her ears in ways he had not intended, and she could only think of Theo to comfort her over what had been said about her mother and how little she actually knew of anything.

Perhaps she was a coward, she thought, as she crossed the common room in a flurry. Perhaps Potter was right. She realised he probably was. Cowardice came easily to her, too easily, and she always told herself it was pragmatism, but what if it wasn't? What if it was just fear, plain and simple?

When she reached the door to Theo's room, she knocked twice on the door, sharp, and waited.

"Who is it?" his clear voice asked from inside.

"Aurora. Can I come in?"

A quick rustling from inside and then he opened the door, grinning as he ran a hand quickly through his hair and straightened his shirt. "Hey. You alright?"

"Yes," she said in a clipped voice. "Mostly. Can I come in?"

"Of course, of course." He ushered her inside and closed the door, lingering in the doorway. "Is this about earlier?"

"Sort of. I'm fine," she said, though every time she said it it sounded less convincing. "I've spoken to my dad. But I just wanted some alone time, but not really alone, just... Quiet. With someone else. Unless you're busy, obviously, don't drop anything for me, I really don't mean to impose, but you — well, I thought of you. And I think we have to talk, because we haven't, for the last few days and, well. There's a lot that needs to be said."

"I thought you needed time?"

"I did." She closed the door behind her, looking him in the eye. "I don't want more time. I think I want to just — just let things continue as they are. See what happens. In the sense that, you know, we can kiss each other, and that'll be nice, and everyone else will probably have to just think we're friends but, I think, I'd like to be able to want you and so that's what I'm going to let myself do and if you also want me and the other night wasn't just some ridiculous, out-of-body experience fuelled by adrenaline — and if it was, please stop me talking before I embarrass myself further — but basically, yeah. My dad thinks I'm being an idiot and maybe I am, but, I trust you, and you've been my friend so long and I just feel like we have to try. And I want to be brave."

And she was still too scared to be brave in any other way.

She held Theo's gaze, heart pounding, as his dizzying smile widened. "The other night was definitely not a one-off," he told her, hands drifting to hers. He intertwined their fingers, sending warm glimmers beneath her skin, and drew her closer. As she tilted her head up, he asked, "Can I kiss you?" and she answered with her lips against his, tugging him against her. One hand went to encircle her waist, as she brought hers up to brush against the back of his neck, feeling heat rush through her.

Without the threat of detection and the uncertainty of its meaning, the kiss lasted longer, went deeper. Where their skin touched, Aurora felt herself suddenly anchored to Theo, and let him hold him tighter as they came up for breath and then met again, teeth clashing awkwardly and noses bumping as they laughed and tried again, and held each other, flushed.

Theo's fingers found the ends of her hair, fiddling with the curls she had let fall loose earlier. "Do you want to come in properly? I think the only thing worse than Robin barging in on us would be if we were against the door as he did so."

Aurora's cheeks got even warmer at the thought, and she moved hurriedly with him as he quickly moved the textbooks that had been lying on his bed to one side, and levitated the armchair from the corner of the room over to sit beside his bed. As he did so, Aurora caught sight of an open sketchbook, with a watercolour painting of a forest, but he closed it before she could get a proper look.

"Mind if I ask what brought on this epiphany?" Theo asked breezily, putting his sketchbook and a watercolour palette into a drawer.

"Oh, you know... The usual emotional chaos. I had a sort of fight with my dad and realised some things."

"Oh." A deep frown creased his forehead as he sat down on the edge of his bed, and Aurora followed, sitting beside him. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah. It... I know what he was trying to do. He thinks he's protecting me and I love that he tries and that he wants to but... I don't know. It's all complicated. I just wanted to speak to him about the Quidditch captaincy — you've probably heard Draco crowing about how the team picked him over me — and I wanted to talk about the fact my friend's seemingly vanished off the face of the earth. And it was fine but today's just been a shitty day and then he started going on about you and how he doesn't think we should see each other and he started talking about my mother and — and I just — I don't know how to talk about that still, you know?" She shook her head, sighing, as Theo tentatively put his arm around her. "But I don't want to keep being upset over it. I just — it's like you said. I want to be able to want this and I want to be able to just be happy and not worry about whatever's going on outside and so just, just for now. Could we just... Be us? Nobody else can know."

"Nobody else?"

"I don't want you to be put in harm's way because you associated with me. And it is, unfortunately, dangerous, for us to be seen as a couple. We've gotten away with being just friends this long. As long as nobody knows..."

He took a moment, frowning, but said, "Yes. Of course, if that's what you want. It's probably pretty sensible, to be honest."

Her heart flooded with relief and gratitude, and she reached out to hold his hand, tight. "Thank you," Aurora said, and leaned into his side. "Now, I said I don't want to be upset, so, I'm not going to be."

"That easy?"

"Not at all." She sighed, then crossed her legs, as Theo's arm would closer around her, his fingertips drifting over the ends of her hair. "I need a distraction."

"Oh, yeah?" An amused smile played on Theo's lips, as he nudged her foot with his own. "You think I'm distracting, do you?"

"Yes," she said boldly, grinning. Her cheeks filled with heat; his words had made something dance in her chest, and that feeling only spread as Theo leaned down and kissed her softly, quickly. She blushed, glanced away and then back at him, raising her hand to hold his, and run her thumble over the back of his hand.

Theo smiled softly and then said, "Here. If you want a distraction."

He reached over to his bedside table, opened a drawer, and tossed her a little red box, with black roses painted on it. "It's this puzzle box I made. When you get it right, you open it up and it shows… Well, I'll let you find out."

"You made this?" Aurora asked, staring at the intricately painted box. "How'd you do that?"

He shrugged. "It's not that hard, once you get the right pieces and know how to slot them together properly. It took a while, it's fairly simple, but the magic solved some of the tricky joins."

Intrigued, Aurora looked down at the box, trying to figure out how to approach it, fiddling with and swiping various pieces and panels, until the picture slotted together, like pieces of a jigsaw. Theo leaned forward, grinning. "You're getting it," he said, a slightly giddy note in his voice. "Okay, now you have to figure out how to turn it inside out."

"And how do I do that?"

"I'm not going to tell you, you have to work it out!"

Aurora shot him a playful scowl, and Theo just grinned, shuffling closer. Their knees knocked against one another as Aurora fiddled with the pieces, finally tugging on a small piece of wood which stuck out, turning it so that the pieces on the outside flipped up and then flattened down, making each layer of the box a flat square, stacked six high.

"What on earth?"

"You've almost got it," Theo encouraged. "Robin didn't get this far, he gave up."

"I'm not the premiere? I'm offended, Theodore."

"Only because Robin likes fiddling with things he finds on my nightstand. You'll get it."

"You know muggles have a thing like this," Aurora said, flicking one piece which whirled around an invisible pile, "only all the little squares are different colours? Gwen said it's called a Rubik's cube. Her little sister's obsessed with it."

"Yeah, Robin mentioned that thing. I promise I didn't try to steal the design."

Aurora laughed, and hooked a piece onto the one above. It clicked into place and she grinned at the anticipatory look on Theo's face, knowing that she'd gotten it right. "I believe you," she promised. "Even if I can't believe you've got time for this in amidst everything else. I've barely time to read."

"Suppose I haven't got Quidditch and dance to contend with."

"Well, at least I won't have Quidditch to deal with much longer if Draco gets his way. I'm sure he'll try to kick me off the team first chance he gets."

Theo scoffed. "He's not that stupid."

"He tried before."

"Yeah, and Montague knew you'd all be toast if they got rid of you."

"You're trying to flatter me," she said in a sing-song voice, frowning at the box as it collapsed in on itself again. "But you are correct."

Theodore laughed, just as she managed to click the right piece into the right place, and the whole box twisted in on itself, revealing a rose that pushed up from inside of the box itself, resting on dark green wooden panels. Aurora grinned at it, transfixed as the wooden painted petals bloomed and multiplied seemingly from nowhere. "That's so cool!" she said before she could stop herself and think of anything cleverer to say.

Theodore grinned and leaned across, putting his hand on the box to fiddle with something. As he did so, his fingers brushed over the back of her knuckles, soft, resting just in the grooves of her own hand. "Here," he said, "if you just kind of push it up slightly." His hand pressed against hers, and there was another click, as the whole thing seemed to solidify, and gleam from within. "And it's a light!"

"How the hell did you do that?" she demanded, amazed.

"I worked it out. There are lots of moving parts, but once you figure out the separate images of the puzzle, you can keep track of things better. From there, it's a matter of making sure things turn the right way, and letting magic do its work to move them. I used a variation of a colour-changing charm for the pictures, and some Transfiguration work to get things to turn into the right shapes, but it wasn't too difficult. I had a lot of trial and error, though — there's half a dozen unfinished boxes somewhere under my bed." He shrugged, cheeks flushed pink. His hand was still on Aurora's, a feeling she simply could not push from her mind no matter how hard she tried. "My mum used to have a lot of these puzzle boxes as jewellery boxes and I always found them fascinating when I was a kid, so…" He glanced away, and Aurora brushed her thumb over the back of his hand, quite unthinkingly. "It's nice having something to do that's kind of just my project, you know?"

"You never said anything!"

"Yeah, it's like you like to tell me — I wanted to show you once I knew I succeeded." His smile had turned teasing and she couldn't help but laugh, brushing their legs together as she did so and trying, failing, to ignore the rush of warm sparks that went through her. "You can keep this one, by the way."

"It's your first one!"

"Exactly. And you're the first one to solve it. I'll get complacent if I've got the finished one sat in my room. I can change the colour if you'd like something purple, though."

That casual comment — said so easily, and yet carrying such weight from simply knowing her, simply offering to do a small kind thing — made warmth rush to her cheeks, her breath catch in her throat and a giddy, yet almost shy, smile grace her lips. There was a moment where time seemed to flow around them instead of through them, as Aurora's mind lurched towards the inevitability she had been avoiding for months now and her gaze and focus narrowed in on the boy before her, the feeling of his hands and his attention and his smile. The feeling of knowing that he cared. Which she knew, but somehow it felt different when it was just remembering a detail, instead of facing down a crisis. It felt normal, and that mattered.

"Yeah," she said, voice coming out slightly breathless. "Yes, I'd — well, you don't have to. It is beautiful as it is. But if you'd like me to keep it, I certainly won't say no."

"Good," he said, quite cheerful. But he still didn't remove his hand from hers. It was nice, to know they could rest like that. That both their hearts allowed it. "I don't know if I'll make another; the most fun part was just figuring it out, and now that's done, there's not much else to entertain me about it."

"I suppose so." He drew his hand away then, just slightly, and Aurora leaned back, still holding the unfolded box in her hands. "Still, I bet you'd fly your O.W.L. if you showed this to Flitwick."

"If only," Theo laughed, shaking his head. "It feels like all I've thought about is studying. I'm not actually sure it's possibly for me to cram anymore information into my head."

"Right?" Aurora agreed, setting the box down carefully beside her. "I swear there can't be any more to learn, and then I try to test myself on my theory and all of a sudden, I've forgotten the fourth law of enchantment and I have to scour my notes for an hour before the answer even reaches anywhere within the vicinity of my conscious brain!"

"Same!" Theo cried, indignant. "Especially Ancient Runes, I don't know what on earth anything means anymore. Everything's turned to random, meaningless lines in my head."

"Honestly, I don't think I'm going to know anything by the time the exams come round. It's all going to disappear. And I've been getting awful headaches in the library lately."

"I swear Madam Pince has done something to the lighting to drive students away!"

"It's the only explanation, I've no idea what's wrong with me — and she would do that, too!" Aurora groaned and rolled her eyes. "I think this school's conspiring against me. Just, you know, conceptually, or spiritually, or… Something."

Theo laughed, and Aurora shivered as his hand brushed over her knee. "In fairness, you did call it a bloody stupid little castle the other day."

"Because the staircase changed on me, even though it has never, once, in five years, changed at that time of the day! Yet another reason why I'm sure it's conspiring against me. I wish I was going home, now — my dad wants me back, but, I have to be here. I have plans."

"Plans?" Theo shot her a dubious look. "Do I want to know?"

"All part of the bring-down-the-Ministry plot! I've no idea how yet, but I'm going to get up to some snooping around Umbridge's office."

"Sounds fun."

"Lots of fun. I think I'll blackmail the Weasley twins into providing a distraction, too, that'll be good for the soul."

Theo snorted. "You really are such a sweet girl, Lady Black."

"I am the sweetest," Aurora said, feigning offense, and leaning in towards him, close enough to kiss. His arm curled around her again and, daring, she moved her legs so she was curled up beside him.

"I suspect it will be far more fun than my holidays. It's going to be all very — yes, Lord Travers, no, Lady Thorel, why of course Lord Carrow." He rolled his eyes. "And there's a ball."

"Oh, what an ordeal!"

"It is! They're awful, I always have to talk to people I don't like, and dance with — well, with people I have no interest in." His voice caught over the words, and both hope and worry intertwined in her chest. "At least when you're there, they're more tolerable."

"More tolerable? I like to think I make any ball the best party ever held." She bumped his shoulder gently. "Don't tell me you don't like dancing with me, Theodore."

With a telltale pink blush, he said, "Well, yes, you are my favourite dance partner. The only dance partner I like having, to be quite honest."

"And you're mine," she said, unable to stop her own smile. "At least you can manage to keep up a conversation, even if you do step on my toes."

"I haven't done that in ages!" he protested, as Aurora giggled, leaning in to his shoulder at the same time that he brushed against her again and sent goosebumps up her arms. "Do I need to whirl you around again like I did after that Quiddifch party?"

"Absolutely not, I'm sure we would destroy something. Next Merlin's Day, though, absolutely. If you can manage to do some grievous injury to Cecil Parkinson, then all the better."

"I will do my utmost to make that happen," Theo said, with a layer of sincerity beneath the teasing exterior. "He's, uh — he isn't still interested in you, right?"

"I don't know. I don't really care — there's absolutely no chance of him, or anybody else, getting my attention." She said it perhaps more forcefully than she needed to, but it felt of the utmost importance that Theo know she did not have any interest in courting Cecil Parkinson. "You don't have competition."

"Nor do you," he said, and she hadn't known she needed to hear it until then. "I — my grandfather still wants me to try and court Flora Carrow, but I'm going to call it off."

"Theo, you don't have—"

"Yes, I do. Valentine's Day was disastrous, I clearly don't like her, and it wouldn't feel right anyway. There's no one for me but you, and I need you to know that." As if to prove a point, he leaned down to kiss her again, hands winding in her hair. She smiled into it, kissing him back, arms drifting to wind around his neck. His hands brushed over her cheeks and he pulled away slightly to whisper, "I'll end it over the holidays. Just so you know."

For a moment, Aurora didn't know what to say, bound up with warmth at the feeling of having Theo just be hers, even though she couldn't say he was hers, but at least he wasn't anybody else's. At least she knew where his heart lay. "Thank you," she whispered at last, and kissed him again, quick. Then he grinned, and leaned in again, and every other worry melted away.