A/N: In this chapter, violence towards primary character is briefly mentioned.
A/N: Also, please note that other triggering content (self-harm and suicide will be discussed) throughout the story. Please be forewarned and take precautions if these are troubling for you.
A/N: Just to let you all know, the first several chapters are to provide you all with the backstory for these lovely ladies. Since the story begins midway through season 7, I want to make sure that I give you as much information as possible about what has happened in the five years they have known each other as possible, so that when the story kicks into high-gear and previous interactions or situations are mentioned, including the introduction of new characters and storylines that were not part of the original show, upcoming chapters will be make more sense.
I hope you enjoy the story…and please review…Now on with the show!
"More compassionate mind, more sense of concern for other's well-being, is source of happiness."
~ Dalai Lama
"Memories are the key not to the past, but to the future." ~ Corrie Ten Boom
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Chapter 8
Okay, now I'm definitely worried. I've never seen Emily jerk away from me before. Plus, she looked scared when she did it too. And what really happened to her arm? Did she really injure it when she went into the lake? I don't remember seeing any injury on her arm when she came out of the water. This reminds me of a few times before the whole Ian thing when she would end up with some random injury. But, she always had some reason for those when they happened too. Something just feels off now, just like it did then. I wonder if whatever was causing her to be jumpy had something to do with her meeting earlier with Hotch and Garcia?
Still, being jumpy like that doesn't explain the injury to her arm, does it? She didn't seem that jumpy back at the station earlier. I'm going to have to insist on looking at her arm for myself. If it really isn't anything to worry about, she shouldn't mind. If it is something more serious, then maybe I can help. Either way, I'm too concerned to let it go this time. I told her I would let it go for now, but that's just because I don't want to try and pressure her into a conversation like that with everyone else around. She'd shut me out for sure then. So for now, I'll just go back to trying to figure out what I'm going to say to her, and try to put the pieces together about what else is going on. Maybe I can figure out what Hotch and Garcia were meeting with her about. It seems like I'm missing some vital information, or just catching bits and pieces that would help me figure out what is going on. Just like that meeting I overheard between Hotch and Rossi a few years back. Now that I think about it, that was really the only other time she was ever skittish or jumpy like she is right now. I wonder if that has anything to do with what is going on with her now?
When that happened, we had ended up on back to back cases after I came back from maternity leave, right up until the case involving her friend Matthew. When I showed up in the briefing room and didn't see Emily, I immediately asked if she was okay. Hotch said he didn't know, which worried me. Emily was normally able to put up enough walls so that even if she were having a hard time, people around her couldn't tell anything was wrong. If Hotch noticed something was wrong and was concerned, I knew something had to be really wrong. I wanted to talk to her about it, but she kept avoiding me.
Hotch and I spoke with Matthew's family and were shocked when we were basically thrown out after mentioning Emily's name. We asked her about it, but she just said they thought she was a bad influence when she was younger. I knew there was more to the story. I also knew something was off with her friend John, but I could never get her alone to ask what was really going on.
I noticed that Rossi was being very over protective during the case, and at one point, they both disappeared. When they came back, they seemed to have a pretty good idea of who was behind the murders. Unfortunately, he had diplomatic immunity. Hotch said his hands were tied, but Rossi argued with him about it. Hotch seemed determined not to intervene, but I could tell by Rossi's demeanor that he wasn't going to let it drop. I watched as him and Emily left together, knowing they were going to work outside of the system to try and prevent any more murders.
In the end, Rossi and Emily did stop Father Silvano, Morgan stepped up to help, and Hotch called in some favors to have the immunity revoked. Everything seemed to fall into place. I saw Hotch and Morgan return to the office, but heard them mention to Reid and Garcia that Rossi and Emily wouldn't be back until the next morning. Apparently Rossi had something to take care of and Emily had wanted to be alone for a little while and go for a walk when they left the last scene. I was disappointed because I wanted to see for myself that she was okay. I still had a lot of cases to look over, but decided I would just come in early the next morning to take care of them. That way, I would be there when she came in. I knew she wouldn't want my company on her walk given the state of our relationship, but I still needed to know she was okay. So, I left for the evening, heading home to check on Henry.
The next morning, I arrived exceptionally early, knowing I had a lot of files to look over, and I hoped I could catch Emily in case she decided to come in early and leave before the rest of the team arrived. I noticed most the Bullpen was empty, with the exception of the light coming from Hotch's office. Considering how early I arrived, I decided to stop in to see if we had an urgent case, only to stop short as I heard Rossi and Hotch talking inside.
"Where is she now?" Hotch asked worriedly.
"Georgetown Hospital. I am on my back way there now to pick her up." Rossi quickly replied.
"Did she get a look at who did this?" Hotch replied.
"She didn't get a good look, from what I could tell. Sounds like a blitz attack. She may remember more later, once the shock wears off. She's already talked to the Detective in charge, a Detective Jackson. He talked to her last night before I got there. When I left earlier this morning, they were getting everything ready so they could release her in a few hours. They just wouldn't release her without having someone drive her." Rossi answered. "Also, she said that her gun, badge, and credentials are missing, along with her purse and keys. She has an extra set of keys in her desk, which is why I came back over here this morning. I've been there most of the night, but she said she needed her spare keys, so I offered to come in and get them for her. I'm going to grab those on my way out so she can get into her condo. Can you look into getting the replacement gun, badge, and credentials she'll need?"
"Yeah, I can request those. Hopefully they will turn up though. I don't like thought of someone having those just wandering around the city. Especially someone with all of her personal information as well. Did she say anything else? What about her injuries? How bad are they?" Hotch worriedly asked.
"No. She didn't tell me much else other than she was out walking through the park and got jumped. She said she didn't see who it was; that she blacked out for a while. Some people walking through the park found her and called the local PD and an ambulance. She was in and out of consciousness until late last night. She woke up long enough to call me once she realized her gun and badge were missing, but asked me not to tell anyone else on the team. She's pretty roughed up. I get the feeling that she didn't tell me everything, but the doctor wouldn't release any of her medical information to me. The only thing I know for sure is that she has a bad concussion, some bruised ribs, and she needed some stitches, but beyond that, the doctor and her both kept pretty quiet. I finally convinced her that I would need to tell you. She argued with me at first. But, considering she would need to take some time off for her injuries if she didn't want anyone else to know what happened, and would need to get replacements for her gun, badge, and credentials, she finally agreed. But, she insisted that neither one of us say anything to the rest of the team." Rossi said.
"You think she is hiding something?" Hotch inquired.
"About it just being a robbery or something more, I'm not sure. Given her injuries, it's possible it was just a robbery, but it could be more serious too. She's not really good about sharing things Aaron. You and I both know that. We both know that she still hasn't told us everything about what happened at the compound with Cyrus. She probably never will. As far as her injuries and what she actually remembers; your guess is as good as mine at this point. It's possible she does remember more. But, given her concussion, she may not remember right now. The problem is, she seemed skittish…almost scared. You and I both know that isn't like her." Rossi replied.
"Get me the contact info for Detective Jackson and I'll call him. I need to know if this is something the local PD can handle or if this is something we should be dealing with here. I want this bastard caught." Hotch angrily stated.
"I know you do Aaron. So do I. But she doesn't want the team involved." Rossi quietly replied.
"Why? We're her family? If I don't think Detective Jackson or the Local PD are capable of finding whoever did this, I'll make damn sure that we do." Hotch quickly responded.
"I'll try to explain that to her. But for now at least, let's just keep this to ourselves. She's been through enough the past few days, between losing her friend and now this. See what Detective Jackson has to say. Maybe he's capable of handling this and then the rest of the team won't have to be involved. That way, we can respect her wishes." Rossi pleaded.
"I'll see what he has to say, but I'm not making any promises. Still, even if they Local PD can handle this, what are we supposed to tell the others about her being gone?" Hotch questioned.
"Just tell them that she wanted to take some personal time after the last case. They all know it took a toll on her. They wouldn't be surprised that she wanted to take some personal time after that. No one needs to know that anything else happened." Rossi replied.
"Yeah, I guess. I know that was stressful for her, and I didn't exactly make it any easier. But for now, we need to know just how bad her injuries really are, and if there are going to need to be any restrictions for her to return to work. Given what you said, about her acting scared and being skittish and maybe even hiding something about what happened to her last night, it may be best for her to have a Psych Eval before she returns. Hopefully, even if the doctor isn't completely forthcoming about her specific injuries, they'll have the common sense to set her up with therapy if she needs that. Find out if the doctor thinks that's something that would be beneficial, if you can." Hotch replied.
"Okay. I'm going to grab the keys from her desk and head to the hospital. They should be finished with her shortly. I'll call you once I get her settled at home." Rossi said.
I heard Rossi walk towards the door, so I hurried back towards my office. I didn't want to look like I had been eavesdropping. I made it back to my door and was holding the doorknob as he exited Hotch's office. Thankfully, he didn't look my direction. He quickly walked towards Emily's desk, grabbing her spare keys and made his way towards the elevator. I slowly started walking towards Hotch's office. I didn't know what had happened exactly, but I knew it was bad. Emily had obviously been attacked at some point during her walk the night before. And based on what I piece together from their conversation, someone had hurt her. I tried to calm my nerves and my racing heart before knocking on Hotch's door.
"Come in." was Hotch's quick reply as he glances up in my direction.
"I saw you were in early this morning. Do we have a case?" I said as I look at him. I notice that he quickly diverted his eyes away from me.
"No. I just had some paperwork to finish up." Hotch quickly replied, never looking back up at me.
"Hotch?" I ask.
"Yeah, JJ?" His answer.
"I overheard part of your conversation with Rossi before I came in. What happened to Emily? Is she okay?" I quickly ask, trying to calm my racing heart.
"That was a private conversation, JJ. For now, I can't discuss anything about it with you." Hotch quietly replied.
"I know that Hotch, and I'm sorry. I didn't mean to invade your private conversation. But, when I heard you and Rossi say that Emily was at the hospital…well, I'm…it's just…is she…I'm worried about her. Please, just tell me that she's okay. Please." I pleaded.
"JJ. I wish I could. Really. But, unless Emily tells me that it is okay to discuss this situation, you are just going to have to wait until she feels comfortable discussing it with you herself. I'm sorry." Hotch stated, a hint of sadness lacing his voice.
"Okay. Thanks Hotch." I quietly reply.
I couldn't help but worry. I was also jealous that Emily turned to Rossi when she needed help. I know that I shouldn't have felt that way, but I did. I knew that our friendship was rocky at best, and that was because of me. I just never dreamed that in a situation like this, where she really needed someone, that she would turn to someone else, even someone like Rossi that she seemed to have grown close with recently, instead of me. I really screwed up and I had to figure out a way to fix it. I needed her in my life, but after hearing this conversation, I now realized that I needed her to need me in her life too.
I never did find out exactly what happened after that case. Emily ended up taking a few weeks off. Hotch told everyone that Emily needed some personal time after the case, and everyone believed him. I knew differently, given the conversation I overheard. When she finally came back, she was so distant. Everyone else thought she was still dealing with some residual feelings from losing her friend, and that may have been part of it. But, I knew that the majority of it had to do with whatever happened to her on her walk after the case. She seemed jumpy and on edge for weeks after. Her, Hotch, and Rossi were in closed meetings several times after she returned and she took several days off at one point. Hotch said it was some kind of family emergency, but something just felt off about the whole situation. After she came back, she seemed a little better and the secretive meetings between the three of them seemed to taper off and then stop almost entirely.
She eventually calmed down a little, but that distance and sadness in her eyes never really left. She tried to pretend everything was fine, and for the most part I think everyone else seemed to believe her, but I knew she was struggling. I tried to help, to get her to open up to me, but she just kept shutting me out.
Then we had to deal with the Reaper, and losing Hayley, and Emily seemed to come out of her shell a little bit. It was like she knew she needed to be strong for Hotch and the rest of the team after seeing how badly losing Hayley affected everyone. I could tell she was still struggling, but at least she was making an effort. I know everyone appreciated having her back to normal, or what appeared to be normal. Everyone had missed the old Emily that had been such a huge part of all of our lives. No one else seemed to notice that something still seemed off, or if they did, they just didn't say anything. I think we were all just grateful for the brief respite from whatever was pulling her under. She seemed to stay in a relatively good place for a while, at least on the outside. But, since she was always so good at putting up walls and hiding what she truly thinking and feeling, none of us could really know for sure.