A/N: Please note that other triggering content (self-harm and suicide will be discussed) throughout the story. Please be forewarned and take precautions if these are troubling for you.

I hope you enjoy the story…and please review…Now on with the show!

"If somebody is gracious enough to give me a second chance, I won't need a third." ~ Pete Rose

"People need to be made more aware of the need to work at learning how to live because life is so quick and sometimes it goes away too quickly." ~ Andy Warhol
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Chapter 13

"Can't run off in the middle of the night if you don't have your own car." Emily quietly mutters.

Ouch. Guess I should've seen that one coming. I knew I hurt her by running off like I did before…I'll just have to work that much harder to prove to her that I'm not going to do that again.

"Uhh…sorry…I guess you can just follow me" she says a little louder.

"No…it's fine…" I reply. "I…uh…"

The sound of Emily's stomach growling loudly interrupts our conversation.

"Emily…when's the last time you ate something?" I inquire.

"Uhhh…I…ummm…ohh….yeah, I grabbed a bagel with my coffee this morning on the way to the station." Emily responds.

"EMILY! That wasn't today…that was yesterday. I walked out right behind you on the way to the station yesterday and today. You seemed like you were in a hurry this morning and never even stopped for coffee until we got to the station, remember? Have you eaten anything else sense the bagel yesterday?" my concerned reply.

"Well…we've been kinda busy with the case. It's fine." Emily replies dismissively.

"No wonder you look so pale. You have to eat more than that. Between only eating a bagel yesterday and however you injured your arm, I'm surprised you haven't passed out by now." I reply.

I thought she looked like she'd lost some weight…which she really didn't need to lose. God…Rosalyn and I both had a problem with that…though my problems didn't happen until Rosalyn was gone. With Ros…we didn't realize she had a problem until she passed out at school. I was able to hide my issues a lot better…probably since I learned from her mistakes. Plus, I was away from home and I was older when my problems started. But, I know the damage it can cause if you don't get a handle on it.

I just hope this is just a one-time thing with Emily, like she said, and she just got too focused on the case. Not that I have much room to talk when it comes to this particular issue…but I do have control over it now, so it's fine. It's just that it makes it easier for me to recognize in other people now. Plus, I understand some of the reasons behind it too.

Why is it that every time I turn around Emily is reminding me of my sister…and not in a good way? The thought of something happening to Emily, the way it did with Ros, terrifies me. Especially given how she's been acting and with what she said happened with her arm…it just makes me wonder what's really going on with her. It's like she's slowly or even purposely trying to…No…no…I'm not going to think like that…or let that happen.

"Look….you need to eat something…So…do you have food at your place, that you can fix, or do you want to order in something when we get there? That or we can stop somewhere on the way?" I follow up.

"I haven't had time to go to the store for groceries…" Emily quietly replies "but…I'm not really hungry…so…"

Yeah…not hungry…that sounds familiar. I used to say the same thing…so did Ros.

"Well…you need to eat. So, do you want to order in or stop somewhere on the way?" I interject.

"If you want to order something when we get there…that's fine." Emily replies.

"Good. We'll figure out something that you'll like, and we can worry about getting you some groceries tomorrow." I calmly state.

"Tomorrow?" Emily questions.

"Yeah…tomorrow. I'm not running away from you this time Emily." I firmly reply as I grab both of our go-bags and turn to start walking off of the jet. "Are you coming?" I glance back over my shoulder to look at Emily before stepping off of the jet.

"Yeah" I hear Emily mutter behind me.

I watch as JJ walks with purpose towards the two remaining vehicles in the lot. She stops at her SUV first to drop off her go-bag and I dig through my pockets to retrieve the key to my own SUV and hit the unlock button. Hearing the familiar click and seeing the lights flash, signifying the SUV is now unlocked, JJ heads over to my SUV and opens the back door, sliding the go-bag inside.

"All set." She states. "I'll just follow you."

I nod in response and slide in the driver's side. I pull out of the lot with JJ directly behind me. Knowing I need to concentrate on the drive, I try to focus on the road instead of our upcoming conversation. However, I can't help but wonder what I have gotten myself in to this time.

I really didn't mean to say anything about her running off in the middle of the night…out loud. I really need to learn to filter what I say…or at least learn to control what I say out loud a little better. I'm not sure when I lost control of that particular ability, but I seem to be having more and more trouble with saying what I'm thinking, instead of just keeping it to myself these days.

Now on top of everything else, JJ seems to be worried about how much I'm eating…or not eating as it were. Granted…I've been a little pre-occupied and probably haven't been eating as much as I should. But, I really haven't been hungry. That being said, I really didn't need to add to the growing list of things for her to worry about. I'm going to have a hard enough time trying to get her to not focus on my damn arm. Now, on top of that, she is talking about helping me with grocery shopping tomorrow. I seriously doubt she'll still be here tomorrow. She tends to run away when things get to serious or when I fall asleep. Even if by some miracle she is still there in the morning, I have things to do tomorrow that she can't know about, or be a part of.

***BBEEEEEEEPPPP***

Aaahhhh…SHIT! I slam on my brakes and skid to a stop just in time to avoid a nasty collision with a very large truck. Wow! I slowly turn and look out my driver's side window and notice that I'm close enough to see the grill on the truck up close….Holy Shit! That's not good. I try and catch my breath and look around…noticing I have enough room to back my SUV up. I put it in reverse and back out of his way. He drives around me…shouting a variety of obscenities and waving with a couple of not so nice hand gestures…which I completely deserve. God…I'm such an idiot! At least I'm now out of the way of oncoming traffic.

The truck had been going through the intersection that I started to go through and had the right-of-way. I just wasn't paying attention and hadn't noticed the bright red light that signified I was supposed to stop. Had the truck driver not blasted his horn, and slammed on his brakes as well, I would've been hit…driver's side…right in front of JJ. I still managed to get close enough to his truck that I wouldn't have been able to slide a piece of paper between my door and his front bumper. Good Lord…That was way to close!

What the Hell is wrong with me! I'm still trying to catch my breath…realizing I haven't been paying as much attention as I should've been while I was driving; so much for my earlier pet talk with myself about paying attention driving home. I look in the rearview mirror and notice the horrified look on JJ's face…she realizes that I was nearly T-Boned in the intersection directly in front of her. Great…more for her to worry about. I just can't seem to catch a break right now.

Okay…green means go. Focus on driving dumbass; at least make it back to your condo without something else catastrophic happening. The last thing you need is for something else to happen before you ever make it home. Thankfully, the condo isn't that much further, so you just turn on the radio and try to focus on the music and the drive the rest of the way. Thankfully, the music helps to calm my breathing and the rest of the drive is fairly relaxing.

I manage to make the rest of the way to my condo without further incident and pull into the lot. I didn't see where JJ parked, but I'm sure it's somewhere close to where I parked. I unlock the door and slowly step out of my SUV. I just need to get my go-bag and figure out where JJ is so we can make our way inside. I turn to open my back door, but am caught off guard as JJ slams into me…hugging me with enough speed and force she nearly knocks me off of my feet.

"Oh my God Emily…that truck…it almost hit you…I thought…oh God…I can't lose you…not again." JJ is frantically crying.

I knew she saw what happened with the truck…but her response surprises me. I can't help but hug her back…pulling her tighter into me. As much as I hate to admit it, I've missed the feeling of having JJ in my arms. I also hate to see her upset.

JJ pulls back from the hug just slightly and looks into my eyes…Damn…those beautiful blue eyes that I get lost in every time. I see the fear them that I saw in the rearview mirror…but it's mixed with something else that I can't quite figure out.

Before I have time to process what it is I'm seeing behind that ocean of blue, she does something that catches me completely by surprise. She quickly leans forward, pressing her lips to mine, in a kiss that is startling in its ferocity. I find myself too shocked to respond at first, but within a second or two, I find myself kissing her back. It doesn't take long to turn into a hungry, passionate kiss. I feel JJ's tongue sliding across my bottom lip and I softly gasp in response. She takes advantage of my surprise and slides her tongue into my mouth. My hands have started a dance of their own, moving gracefully up and down her back. One of hers is sliding up and down my side, while the other has found itself on the back of my head, guiding me closer to her…deepening our kiss.

"Wait, JJ," I finally say, breathlessly…as I place my flattened hands against JJ's shoulders, pushing her back.

"Stop." The logical part of my brain finally kicks in and overrides my heart and hormones as I pull back to look into her eyes.

"JJ….wh…why….what…" I can't seem to find the right words.

"I thought I lost you…again. I can't lose you again, Emily. I won't. I love you damnit. I've been in love with you from the moment I first met you. I just didn't realize what it was that I felt at first. I didn't realize how much I needed you until I thought I lost you. We have another chance now. I've wanted…no needed…to do that ever since you came back. Then I saw that truck nearly hit you tonight and I couldn't stop myself. I didn't want to waste any more time. You've been pushing me away since you've been back. You were doing even before you left, but I won't let you keep doing that...not anymore." JJ quickly replied.

"I've missed you too JJ. Really, I have. But…" I start to reply.

But too much has happened…I still have too many things that you don't know…too many things I can't tell you. If you found out all of those things…I'm sure you wouldn't feel the same way you do now. Besides, you're still with Will…and you have Henry to think about. I won't mess that up.

"No…no buts…you're not going to push me away this time." JJ states firmly…tears still shining in her eyes.

"What about Will, JJ? Are you planning on leaving him for me?" I angrily ask, knowing this has always been one of our major issues. That should end this conversation pretty quickly.

"That's one of the things I wanted to talk to you about, Emily. Will and I aren't together." JJ quietly responds.

"What? Since when?" I ask, unable to hide my shock.

"Can we just go up to your condo and order some food. You need to eat, and I'm sure we need to take a look at your arm again by now. Plus, the thing with Will is kind of a long story. That way we can just sit down, eat, have some wine or whatever, and talk about everything? I think once I explain it all to you, you'll understand everything more, and hopefully, you'll stop pushing me away so much. Please. " JJ pleaded.

"Okay." I reply.

What else could I have said? No…I don't want to know or I don't care? That would've been a lie. I do care…unfortunately. Now, I really need some answers. I'm not sure if it will change anything, especially given everything that has happened between us already, and all of the secrets that I'm still keeping from her, but I still want to know. When did this happen? Is this why she said Will was out of town or why he didn't take Henry with him wherever he went? I don't remember her ever saying about them having problems or anything else.

I grab my go-bag from the SUV and we make our way upstairs to my condo. As we make our way inside, I can't help but wonder exactly what the next few hours have in store