A/N: Please note that other triggering content (self-harm and suicide will be discussed) throughout the story. Please be forewarned and take precautions if these are troubling for you.

I just wanted to thank everyone for the reviews. My muse and I both appreciate it. This is still, as of now, planned to be a fairly long, multi-part story, but if you all aren't into it…I'll wrap it up before too long.

And remember…reviews and feedback keep me and my muse motivated…especially if it's positive!

I hope you enjoy this latest chapter…Now on with the show!

"Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls; the most massive characters are seared with scars." ~ Kahlil Gibran

"We sleep, but the loom of life never stops, and the pattern which was weaving when the sun went down is weaving when it comes up in the morning." ~ Henry Ward Beecher
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Chapter 19

I watch as Emily throws the covers off of the bed and swings her legs over the side, as she sits on the edge of the bed…facing away from me. Her head is in her hands as she takes a deep breath. I quickly make my way out of the bed and make my way to the floor directly in front of her…propping myself up on my knees with my hands on her arms. "Talk to me, Em."

"What do you want me to say, JJ?" Emily sighs in defeat.

"The truth, Em."

"I told you the truth last night…I'm broken. So…yeah…I do hate myself most of the time…I can't stand to even look at myself in the mirror. Why would I make someone else look at me? You're stunning…incredible…and you deserve so much more than a shell of a person. That's all I am now. How could I think you would ever love me? Ever want to look at me or be with me? I destroy everything I touch. I don't want to hurt you too. Giving up and letting you move on with your life…with someone else…well…that just seems like a better option. Everyone would be better off without me."

"Please don't say that. No one would be better off without you. You're not just a shell of a person, Em. I know you feel broken, but that's just the pain your feeling that's blocking out the good things our future can and will be. I promise you…I will find a way to help you. You just have to let me inside…let down some of those walls you keep putting up inside yourself. I know you do it to keep yourself from getting hurt…but you're keeping all of that pain locked inside too. If you let those walls down…you'll let that pain out and let me in. I can help you find your way out from all of that pain…I promise." I scoot closer to her and pull her into a hug…slowly stroking her back.

"As for you thinking I would never be able to love you or look at you. I already told you…I already do love you…with all of my heart…I could never stop loving you…you're the person I was meant to spend the rest of my life with. And you may not be able to see it…but everyone else can…you are stunning…inside and out. You may have a few scars…everyone does. I don't care about them any more than you care about my scars. And the only way you could ever hurt me is if you gave up on yourself…on me…or on our future now. I would be lost without you." I pull back to look into her dark, sad eyes.

She looks up at me…doubt crossing her eyes "I'm not sure what you want me to say, JJ" she quietly replies.

"I know that you're scared that your secrets and scars will scare me away…but they won't."

I watch as a tear rolls down her cheek. I gently brush it away with my thumb as I try to get her to look back at me.

She needs to see that I won't run away from her when I see her scars. Once she does…maybe we can move past all of the doubt and fear she has…at least about this. I didn't want to push her…or show her my scars yet…but maybe if she sees mine…she'll see that I understand at least part of what she's going through and will let down some of her walls for me.

I stand, still holding her hands in mine, as I ask "will you help me…so that I can help you?"

She looks up…confusion clouding her eyes "what do you mean?"

"Come with me…please." I ask…as I pull her to her feet and walk towards the master bathroom.

"What's going on…why are you taking me to my bathroom?" she replies…stopping short of entering the room.

"There's something I want to show you Em…please…just come inside."

She finally relents and makes her way inside the large master bath…still hovering close to the door. "What did you want to show me…inside my own bathroom?"

I reach over and take her hand…pulling her closer to me…and further into the bathroom. "I know that you are scared about how I'm going to react to seeing your scars…" I feel her start to pull away from me so I quickly add "wait Em…please…let me finish."

She stops…and nods nervously.

"I thought if I showed you my scars…maybe you wouldn't be as scared about your own. I hadn't planned to show you them right now…and honestly I was a little worried about how you'd react when you saw them…just like you were scared to see my reaction to yours…but I trust you. I trust you won't run away from me or think I'm ugly or think less of me because of them. You won't feel that way…will you?" I nervously ask.

"No, JJ. Of course not! I would never think you're ugly or think less of you. But why are you doing this now?"

"I'm hoping that once you see them…you'll realize that I understand what you're going through…at least a little bit. No one has seen my scars either…except for the doctors. You're the first person that I trust enough to share this with. I'm hoping that after you see mine…you'll feel safe enough to share yours with me. I trust you enough to share this with you…that you won't run from me. I just hope you'll be able to trust me enough to know that I'll feel the same way…that I could never think less of you because of your scars either." I quietly respond.

"I'm not sure about this, JJ." Emily whispers.

"I am. You need to see for yourself that I won't run away from you…and that seeing your scars won't change how I see you…and I need to know that you won't think less of me because of my scars. We need to be able to trust each other with this." I quietly reply as I turn around with my back to her.

God…I hope I'm making the right decision…please let this be the right thing to do! We both need to get past this…I just hope I'm not pushing her too far too fast! And hopefully she won't ask too many questions about my scars…she knows about the explosion. Hopefully she'll think all of them are from that or I can deflect if she asks too many questions. I really don't want to get into how I got the rest of my scars…neither one of us is ready for that conversation.

I take in a shaky breath as I slowly pull my shirt off and then step out of my sweats.

I hear a small gasp and know that Emily has noticed the scars on my back. I had turned my back to her first as the scars were less severe on my back…and to give her time to adjust to what she would see before I made eye contact with her. If she reacted badly…I'm not sure I would've been able to handle that. I hear her softly say "oh…JJ….sweetheart." I feel her softly run her fingertips over some of the worst of the scars before I slowly turn to face her.

With tears running down her cheeks, she gently runs her fingertips over the worst of my scars that dot my chest, stomach, upper arms, and upper legs. She leans over and brushes her lips against one particularly bad scar over my chest and repeats the same action on another scar that dots my stomach before rising back up to make eye contact with me. "Sweetheart…were these all from that explosion you were telling me about?"

"Most of them" I quietly reply

"What do you mean…most of them? You didn't have them before…what else happened?" Emily replies, concern lacing her voice.

"It's a long…complicated story. I'll explain it all later." I deflect. Hopefully she won't keep asking. Most were from the explosion…but I really don't want to explain where the rest came from…not right now. Right now…I'm more concerned with the issues Emily is dealing with and helping her.

"Oh JJ…I wish I could've been there to help you…with the explosion…and whatever else happened. Or stop you from being hurt in the first place."

"So…you don't think these make me ugly? You don't think less of me?" I nervously ask.

"No! Of course not! You're beautiful. These are just part of who you are." She replies…ghosting her fingertips over more of my scars, before leaning over to gently place a kiss on my lips.

Leaning back…she looks at me and asks "You're sure you're okay now though? No lasting medical problems? From any of your injuries?"

"A couple…but nothing serious. We can talk about all of that later. As long as you're sure that you don't think less of me…that you'd still want to be with someone who looks like me"

"Anyone would be lucky to have you JJ." Emily softly replies as her fingertips continue to ghost over my nearly naked form, sending a slight shiver down my entire body.

"Well…I don't want just anyone Em…I only want you." I reply…taking her hands in mine.

"Will you please share your scars with me now? I know you're probably still scared…but I promise…I won't run away. Plus, I know you need to change the bandages on your arm and now you know that I have scars too. Please."