A/N: Please note that other triggering content (self-harm and suicide will be discussed) throughout the story. Please be forewarned and take precautions if these are troubling for you.
I just wanted to thank everyone for the reviews. My muse and I both appreciate it. This is still, as of now, planned to be a fairly long, multi-part story, but if you all aren't into it…I'll wrap it up before too long.
And remember…reviews and feedback keep me and my muse motivated…especially if they're positive!
***This chapter starts the second "part" of the story***More drama and more secrets revealed***
I hope you enjoy this latest chapter…Now on with the show!
"Life is an unfoldment, and the further we travel the more truth we can comprehend. To understand the things that are at our door is the best preparation for understanding those that lie beyond." ~ Hypatia
"No one can lie, no one can hide anything, when he looks directly into someone's eyes." ~ Paulo Coelho `````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````
Chapter 24
I have to hand it to him though…he's gotten good at this little con game he's playing right now. I'm not sure what it is he's trying to accomplish, but he did sound somewhat convincing…the problem for him is that I know him too well to believe him or his lies anymore. I've seen this game before…and I'm not falling for it again.
"I know what you're thinking Mia…how I've said sorry before and didn't really mean it…or that I've changed but never really did. This time is different though. Remember when we first met…we were friends first…then we were more…we were happy back then…you remember that don't you…back before our parents messed everything up…don't you Mia?"
"We were friends…a long time ago…but it wasn't our parents that messed everything up for us Lucas…we both know that. You say you've changed…if that's true…then admit the truth…if not to me and Summer…then at least to yourself."
He's trying to push my buttons…get some kind of response from me. Let's see how he likes it when I turn his little game around on him.
"That is the truth Mia…you know it is. We were both outcasts that didn't fit in to our parent's world. We both knew we'd never live up to the ridiculous expectations they set for us. That's why we clicked from the moment we met…that's why we were friends. Our parents saw us together and used our friendship to their advantage. Two lonely losers that they saw as the perfect couple…one they could parade in front of their snooty friends…like we were some kind of trophy." Lucas sadly stated…a hint of anger in his voice.
Unfortunately…he's right about that part. That was part of why we became friends in the beginning. The problem was…things changed.
He continued with a slight glance in my direction "it wasn't acceptable for us to show up alone…no matter how successful we might've been. But together…we were accepted into their lives…into their world. At the time…that was all either of us wanted…to be fully accepted by our parents. So we lived their lie. We'd both done it our whole lives…never quite measuring up to their standards…but desperately wanting to. It felt good to finally feel like we fit in. I know we both saw it as a joke at first…being seen as a couple…but then things changed."
Again…he's partially right…we both liked feeling like we fit in. But he wanted and needed that feeling much more than I did. And he's right that things changed...but in different ways for each of us.
I guess I'll play along with him for now…see where he's going with this conversation. Maybe I can figure out what it is he wants.
"I know that was how you saw it back then Lucas…a small part of me did too. But I went along with the charade more for your benefit than mine. Sure…my parents were happy when they thought I'd found someone…but I didn't need to be in a relationship with anyone to be accepted by them…even though you thought I did…and you thought that was the only way your parents would accept you into their lives too. As for things changing…they did…because you changed. Everything was fine when we were just friends…but then you wanted more from me than just friendship…I didn't." I calmly reply.
"We both benefited from our friendship…and our relationship. Our parents were more accepting of both of us…not just me. As for me being the only one wanting to change our relationship beyond being just friends…well…we both know that's not true. We were together for months…and we were happy…you can't fake that kind of thing." Lucas smugly replied.
The Hell you can't. I can fake almost anything! I definitely faked it with you…all the time! You were just too caught up in your own life…in your own perception of reality to realize it. I was never once satisfied by you…and at the end of our relationship…the thought of being with you just made me sick. I just let you think that I wanted you and that you were good in bed since you became so furious and violent with me whenever I acted like you weren't. It became so much simpler…and safer for me…just to pretend.
"Lucas…I was never interested in being more than just friends with you. You saw what you wanted to see in our relationship. I only went along with it for as long as I did because you told your parents we were getting married as soon as we both graduated and you passed the Medical Board. You were already stressed out with your rotations at the hospital and the rest of the stuff going on at school…I didn't want to cause any more stress for you. You'd already started drinking and I know you were doing drugs back then too. As for being happy…once things changed in our relationship…when we stopped being just friends…combined with your drinking and drug use…and everything else going on at the time…happiness was nowhere close to what I was feeling…and I doubt you were either." I shake my head as I reply…remembering some of those times.
"No! You're wrong! We were happy then." Lucas argues. "Besides…it was your fault that I started doing drugs. I had never been around them until I got around you and your 'friends'. They were the ones that got me hooked on all of that stuff. I just needed a little something to help me stay awake during my rotations. I never dreamed it would spiral so far out of control. You should've warned me how dangerous your friends were and what kind of stuff they were into. But instead you just let me get involved with all of it…then you just sat back and watched while I fell apart. You were doing all of the same drugs as me…and drinking too. I guess you'd just built up a resistance to it though since none of it seemed to affect you like it did me. I know we had a few problems because of all of that…the drugs and drinking…your friends…but nothing we couldn't resolve on our own. In the end though, it was our parents that finally messed it all up."
I know I was a mess back then…I had been for a while…but nothing like you were. Besides…I only did drugs and drank once in a while…and nothing like what you got into. Besides…I did warn you…you just didn't listen…you never listened. The more I tried to help or warn you, the angrier and more violent you got with me. You thought you knew better…so after a while…realizing you weren't going to listen to me…I gave up trying to help you. You were just bringing me down with you…and by the end…I realized I just didn't care enough about you to worry about it anymore. I just wanted to be free of you.
"It wasn't our parents that expected the apartment to be spotless every night…or dinner to be on the table by 6:00. It wasn't our parents that would be furious if I was out too late at night…or if I didn't sleep with you whenever you thought I should. It wasn't our parents that would come home drunk…in a violent rage over something that happened at the hospital…or at school…or a dozen other places…and take their rage out on me. It wasn't our parents that would apologize the next morning…after realizing what they did the night before…sending me flowers or jewelry…claiming they'd never do it again…only to turn around a day or two later and repeat the same pattern. It wasn't our parents that I finally gave up on…realizing they'd never change. Only after finding out I was pregnant did I decide I needed to contact you…not our parents. It wasn't our parents that deserved to know about the baby…even if I wasn't planning on going back to an abusive relationship. It wasn't our parents that flew into such a violent rage when they found out I was pregnant…claiming a baby would ruin everything…that they tried to kill me and the baby by throwing me down a flight of stairs. No…that was all you. It was our parents that were left to pick up the pieces of what was left behind." I angrily reply.
"No…no…you're wrong. It wasn't like that." Lucas tries to argue. "I mean…I know I had some anger issues back then…but nothing like the violent rage that you are describing. Your right though…I did drink too much…and I did do some drugs once in a while…but they helped to keep me calm…or helped to keep me awake during my rotations…nothing like what you're talking about...where I was taking them all the time…or where they changed who I was or my behavior like what you just said. And yeah, we argued some…but it wasn't as bad as you make it sound. I never once hurt you intentionally. There were a couple of times when we fought…but you would hit me during those fights too. And that last night…the night you told me you were pregnant…I was shocked…not mad…and I just reached out to grab your arm and you fell backwards down the stairs…I never pushed you…or threw you. I'd never do that to you…or my own child."
"Who is it exactly you're trying to convince? Me…Summer…or yourself?" I ask.
"It's the truth Mia. What happened that night was just an accident. But no one believed me…not your parents…or mine. Then I found out the baby had died…" Lucas glances towards Summer…"or so I thought…" he glances back toward me…"and something inside of me just broke. I was completely devastated thinking that my child was dead. My actions…even if unintentional…had caused this horrible chain of events that led to this tragic result." Lucas sadly stated…just glancing my direction before continuing.
"The school kicked me out and I was told I'd never be allowed to practice medicine. My parents disowned me…they wanted nothing more to do with me. They managed to get me into a rehab since they couldn't have this kind of scandal hanging over their heads…they even managed to keep me out of jail…even though I know your parents wanted to see me behind bars…but that was for their sake…not mine. You completely disappeared…vanished without a trace. I wanted so badly to find you…to apologize for what happened but you were gone. You dropped out of school and no one heard from you again…not until years later."
Lucas glanced quickly over to Summer before looking back at me before going on with his explanation. "Without anyone else to turn to…no family…no career…nothing…I decided the best way to make up for what I'd done was to devote my life to helping others. Since I was nearly finished with my medical degree, I decided to use that knowledge to help others…even if not by being an official doctor. I started traveling the world where medical services are not usually available and providing care for people in need. I stopped drinking and got therapy for a few different mental health issues and for my anger. I tried to turn my life around…at least until that night a few years ago when I ran into you. I'd just found out about Summer. All I wanted to do that night was to talk…to ask you why you'd kept her from me for all these years…but then I started to think about everything that I went through…everything I lost…the way I felt thinking she died all those years ago…and my anger just got the better of me. I'm sorry for that…but I've worked on getting control of it again…and I really have changed." Lucas finally finishes.
I finally see an opening…maybe I can convince him to let her go now.
"If that's true…if you really have changed…then prove it. Let Summer go. All you're doing now is scaring her. If you ever hope to have any kind of a relationship with her in the future…you can't hold her hostage. She's heard everything you've had to say…now prove to her that you really are the person you say you are…that you've changed and you've turned your life around. Let her go so she can make up her own mind about getting to know you. Give her the time and the opportunity to see who you really are outside of this place." I calmly ask.
I watch as Lucas starts pacing as he takes his gun out of his waistband. He seems to be contemplating his next move. He walks up directly behind me and stops.
"I suppose you're right. But we still have a few things to discuss though Mia." Lucas replies…placing one hand on my shoulder. I can see the fear in Summers' eyes and I realize that he is probably pointing the gun at me while he's talking.
The next thing I notice is his hand slowly lifting from my shoulder as he makes his way towards Summer. He still has the gun in one hand, but he slowly removes the cloth that had been tied around her mouth before moving to untie her hands and feet. Once free, she runs to me and wraps me in a tight hug whispering that she doesn't want to leave me. Tears are flowing freely down her face and it breaks my heart to see her this upset. I know the next thing I say to her has to be convincing enough to get her to leave…but calm enough so that both Lucas and her believe what I'm saying.
"Everything will be fine sweetie. But you need to leave now…head back down the trail to the parking lot. I'll be right behind you…Lucas and I just have a few things to talk about first…right Lucas?" I state…glancing towards Lucas.
"Yes…absolutely. I'll arrange a time to meet with you in a more appropriate location next time Summer…and I'll prove to you that I've changed. I truly do want to get to know you. Mia kept us apart for too long already…but she's going to help make sure we'll spend time together in the future. Right, Mia?"
"Of course. Now…go on sweetie…get out of here." I state firmly.
"But…" Summer starts to argue.
"No buts dear…" Lucas calmly replies…"Say goodbye Summer."
The tone in his voice with that last statement just confirmed what I had thought all along…he'd been lying. Everything he said was for effect. He's been playing some kind of game. Whether that was to try and gain some kind of trust from Summer or just to torture one or both of us…either way…it was all a charade. Judging by the look in her eyes…Summer knows it too. I watch as she slowly backs out of the room.
I catch a glimpse of something in the dusty window and my heart skips a beat. Dammit! JJ is here. I didn't want her anywhere near this place. Hopefully she'll just make sure that Summer is safely away from this place and she won't try rushing in here. Right now…I have no way to protect her. One of my guns is outside and I can't quite reach the other one.
I'd been working on the zip ties binding my ankles and wrists during his never-ending monologue earlier…enough where I'm almost able to move freely. Just a few more twists and turns with them and I should be able to break free of them. I just have to hope that if Summer or JJ decide to rush in here…I'll be able to get free from these enough to help.
I notice that Summer is still lingering in the doorway…she's noticed JJ as well. Thankfully, Lucas hadn't been watching that closely or he would've seen Summer's reaction. He just noticed that she hadn't actually left and his true colors briefly show as he angrily growls out to her to leave and shut the door behind her. I watch as she slowly shuts the door…leaving it open just a crack. I assume so that either her or JJ…or both…can listen in on what Lucas has to say next.
I have no idea what Lucas has planned…but judging by the way he's looking at me right now…it's not good. I remember seeing that look in his eyes years ago…and whenever I did…it was right before he would change from the calm, caring man I once cared about…that I thought of as a friend…into the evil monster that seemed to take over his very soul.
At this point…I really don't care what happens to me…I achieved my goal of getting Summer away from Lucas. Besides, Lucas has already hurt me so many times I've lost count…nothing he could do to me at this point could be any worse than what he's already done. And like I was trying to tell JJ before…I already know I'm too broken to be fixed…both Summer and JJ are safe now…as long as they stay away from this room and Lucas…they can still have a good life…a bright future ahead of them. They aren't like me…they aren't broken beyond repair. I just need to make sure nothing bad happens to them right now so they can still have that future. Whatever happens to me isn't important…and I'll do whatever it takes to ensure they remain safe. That is my only focus at this point.
I turn back to stare at Lucas…noticing his icy gray eyes have turned into an even more evil shade of grey. I feel the zip ties loosen slightly realizing that I am basically free from them and can now fight back against whatever evil, sick, twisted game he has planned. I inwardly smile to myself knowing this time…this game…could be the last one that one or both of us ever plays.
Let the games begin!