A/N: Please note that other triggering content (self-harm and suicide will be discussed) throughout the story. Please be forewarned and take precautions if these are troubling for you.
I just wanted to thank everyone for the reviews. My muse and I both appreciate it. This is still, as of now, planned to be a fairly long, multi-part story, but if you all aren't into it…I'll wrap it up before too long.
And remember…reviews and feedback keep me and my muse motivated…especially if they're positive!
***This chapter starts the second "part" of the story***More drama and more secrets revealed***
I hope you enjoy this latest chapter…Now on with the show!
"There are times you can't really see or even feel how sweet life can be. Hopefully its mountains will be higher than its valleys are deep. I know things that are broken can be fixed. Take the punch if you have to, hit the canvas and then get up again. Life is worth it." ~ Queen Latifah
"Our greatest weakness lies in giving up. The most certain way to succeed is always to try just one more time." ~ Thomas A. Edison `````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````
Chapter 26
"Who are you trying to convince Mia? It's just the two of us here…and we both know the truth. I'll admit…what happened at the park…now that wasn't planned. And we both know I never threw you down those stairs. We were fighting…you're right about that. But you pulled away from me and lost your balance. When I reached for you…you jerked away from me and I couldn't catch you. We both know it wasn't intentional. You just told everyone I pushed you because it was easier than admitting the truth. You didn't want Summer any more than you wanted your first kid…that's the real reason you pawned her off on your family." Lucas glances my direction with a crooked smile as he continues.
"We both know that's the only reason she has anything to do with you now…because she thinks you're some kind of victim in this whole situation and feels sorry for you. Probably a good thing you didn't raise her either. She would've turned out just as neurotic as you are…at least now she has some kind of Chance…no pun intended…" Lucas chuckles "of having a somewhat normal life."
"What's that supposed to mean?" I quickly reply…hoping I'm wrong.
"You know exactly what I meant…Mommy dearest." Lucas replies with an evil laugh.
"H…how' d…did you…" I stutter…caught off guard by what he says.
"What? Know about Chance?" Lucas smiles. "I know about a lot more than you realize, Mia." Lucas laughs. "I know that you have ruined every life you have ever touched. Poor Matthew tried to help you and ended up dead. John is a strung out junkie now…all because you pulled them into your screwed up life. And Chance…well…everyone knows he was better off without you…including him. Summer was too, and everyone knows it…including her. She just spends time with you once in a while because she feels sorry for you…not because she actually cares about you…or loves you." Lucas smiles evilly again as he continues on.
"On the bright side…with your busy schedule…traveling all over…saving the world from evil…you don't have to cancel any plans or lie to your fellow agents about where you're spending your time or what you're doing when you finally do come home. Your family doesn't notice when you're away…and your fellow agents don't notice when you're gone. You might as well be invisible. As a bonus…I'm sure you don't need to be concerned with winning any mother of the year award...so no need to plan around that." Lucas laughs again.
"Although…you may end up getting Martyr of the year…sounds similar…I guess that's close enough." Lucas laughs again…still waving his gun around.
Fuck! If JJ just heard that conversation…then she knows about Chance too…no one besides my family knows about him. I told Rossi part of the story a few years ago…but I told him the version of the story that everyone else was told…not what actually happened. The only other people that know the truth were Matthew and John.
God! He's right…what happened to Matthew was my fault…and what's happening to John…that's partially my fault too. Not completely…but at least to some extent. If JJ puts the pieces together…Damnit! I didn't want her to find out about Chance and Summer like this…especially not from Lucas.
And I know Lucas is partially right about both of them being better off being raised by someone else…that's why I made the decisions that I did. I thought they'd be safer…they'd be happier…damn him for bringing all of this up again!
Did I just hear what I think I just heard? Emily has another kid…a son? And he's somehow connected to her friend Matthew…and that weird guy that showed up during that case, John? I knew something about that case was still bothering her…or she wouldn't have been having nightmares about it. But something like this? Good lord! No wonder she's constantly on edge…worried about everything. I can't imagine trying to keep one kid a secret…but two? And why? Was it for their safety…or some other reason?
I know Lucas is still trying to twist things around…so until I talk to Emily. Well…his version doesn't matter to me. And I hope Emily knows that whether she has kids or not…that doesn't matter to me either…I still love her and need her.
I'm still reeling from this latest revelation when I hear footsteps approaching from behind me. I quickly glance behind me to find Morgan, Hotch and Rossi slowly entering the room. I quickly put my finger up to my mouth to signal for them to be quiet as I point to the door that is cracked slightly. I watch as they all nod. I point to the small dusty window and mouth the words "Lucas still has a gun on Emily. I haven't been able to enter yet without putting her in danger."
I watch as Morgan mouths back "I'm going to check around the building to see if there are any other points of entry…put your earpiece back in JJ so you can listen for any updates."
I nod and do as he requests and watch as Hotch and Rossi take positions around the door and listen, just as I have been, for the first sign they can enter the room…or an update from Morgan about another point of entry.
Knowing that my anger is getting the better of me…and in an attempt to try to divert the conversation away from this topic…in case JJ may have not heard what Lucas had been talking about…I try to remain as calm as possible…at least on the outside.
"So what exactly was your plan Lucas…bring me here to dredge up our past…try to make me feel guilty about it? Well…all of us have moved past that…everyone except you. So what are you going to do now?" I try to temper my anger as I ask.
"I'm going to make you pay for ruining my life…of course." Lucas smiles.
"And how exactly are you planning on doing that? By killing me? Because if you do that…I can guarantee you that Summer will never want anything to do with you. At least now…she may…at some point in the future…at least try to get to know you." I try and offer a glimmer of hope…knowing Summer won't want anything to do with Lucas...ever. But I still try to offer this as a way to turn this conversation around…and to give myself the upper hand.
"You and I both know Summer will never give me a chance. You've already turned her against me. And no…I don't need to kill you. You'll do that all on your own soon enough. We both know you've been walking on that razor's edge between life and death for too long. Eventually you'll give in and end it all. You'll realize that you really aren't worth all the trouble you put everyone else through. I can see it in your eye's right now. Part of you was hoping I'd just shoot you and end it all right here…save you from looking like a coward to everyone else. But sadly…that's a cross you'll have to bear in the end Mia. Everyone will eventually realize that you really are just a coward…wearing the mask of someone who's just pretending to be brave and strong. No…I'll just let the guilt and torment of what you've caused eat away at you…until you do what you should've done years ago." Lucas laughs again.
"Guilt and torment over what? What the Hell are you even talking about?" I finally snap.
What kind of game is he playing now?
"Oh…I guess I forgot to mention that part, didn't I?" Lucas calmly states…reaching for a stack of papers. "I mentioned earlier that I traveled around…helping people who couldn't afford medical care. I guess I forgot to mention how I helped them…oops." Lucas smiles as he casually flips through the pages.
"You see…once you encouraged that monster inside of me to come out…and then abandoned me…turned my family against me…I really had no reason to put him back inside of his cage. So I just re-directed that feeling somewhere else. I decided to help others…and help myself at the same time. I found people…women…that reminded me of you…and helped them end their suffering. I suppose some of them weren't really suffering that much until I showed up…but…I guess that's really beside the point. What's amazing is how many of them there were over the years. How many women I was able to help…because you turned me into who I am now." Lucas waved the stack of papers around in front of me. From where I sat, I could see a few pictures and some writing…but no actual details because he was too far away.
"Are you saying you killed women that reminded you of me?" I ask…hoping I'm not right.
"Mia…that's such a crude way of putting it. I helped them…but to do that…it meant ending their lives. It really was for the best. Just like you'll eventually realize your life is nothing but one disaster after another. And those around you will be better off without you. So…ending your own life…will be for the best for everyone in the end too." Lucas smiles…sending a cold shiver down my spine.
"You sick bastard! You think killing innocent women somehow helped them?" I vehemently spew.
"Of course. They were all sick…twisted…hurting those around them…just like you. Really…I did them a favor…and everyone around them too." Lucas calmly states. "Look how much better off the people around you would've been…if you would have just ended it years ago. Instead…you let Matthew save you when you were a kid. If not for that…you wouldn't have abandoned your own kids…leaving them for your family to take care of. Matthew would still be alive…John wouldn't have turned out the way he did. Not to mention all those cases that went wrong…because you made the wrong choice. All of those lives would've been saved by a better Agent." Lucas smiles sweetly at me. "You know I'm right."
Damn him! Why did I ever tell him about Matthew saving me that night? Now he's using it against me. I know part of what he's saying is right…but I can't let him get to me. I know he's trying to push my buttons…trying to get under my skin. He was always so good at doing that. I've got to turn this around before he gets to me any more than he already has…before I start to believe any more of this.
"Exactly how do you think you are going to get out of here Lucas? You've just confessed to killing God knows how many women. You've violated your parole…kidnapped someone. You've held two people hostage…threatened both of us with a gun. Do you really think you're just going to walk out of here and not be thrown back into prison for the rest of your life?" I angrily reply…realizing that I have finally freed myself from my zip ties with room to spare without him noticing…and once he turns his back I can reach for my gun.
"I knew that I was never leaving here Mia…but I also knew that I wasn't going to let you leave here until I got exactly what I wanted from you." Lucas smiles at me once more.
"And what exactly is that?" I start to respond…but before I have the opportunity to finish my thought…I see a fist flying directly towards my face…knocking me backward and breaking the chair under me. Lucas quickly pulls me up and drags me towards another room before I have a second to catch my breath. The door closes behind him and I see a bed in front of me. I turn back towards Lucas to see a glimmer of something in his eyes…I can't quite decipher what it is…it's more than evil…and when he finally speaks…it sends another shiver down my spine. "I want to see you completely broken…one more time."