A/N: Please note that other triggering content (self-harm and suicide will be discussed) throughout the story. Please be forewarned and take precautions if these are troubling for you.

I just wanted to thank everyone for the reviews. My muse and I both appreciate it. This is still, as of now, planned to be a fairly long, multi-part story, but if you all aren't into it…I'll wrap it up before too long.

And remember…reviews and feedback keep me and my muse motivated…especially if they're positive!

***More drama and more secrets revealed***

I hope you enjoy this latest chapter…Now on with the show!

"When politics is no longer a mission but a profession, politicians become more self-serving than public servants." ~ Emmanuel Macron

"I have a weird definition of family; it's not the same as everyone else's." Lil Peep

Chapter 40

"So…If I remember correctly…you went to Georgetown first…then Yale, right?" Matthew asks.

"Yeah, I started at Georgetown…it was close to where my aunt and uncle were living...that way I could see Chance…and it was still 'acceptable' for my mom. You know…I had to attend an Ivy League school…what with her being an Ambassador and all."

"Of course."

"By that time…all of my grandparents were gone…and I had gotten all of my trust fund money and other assets that my father had been so concerned about…but I wasn't really using any of that money. I never wanted any trust funds or anything else like that in the first place. All I ever wanted was a normal life with normal parents. I guess that was just never gonna happen. After my grandparents all died…my parents had secretly gotten divorced…and my father married Isabella. But my mother still wanted to keep up appearances as much as possible. She couldn't let anyone know that her perfect little family had been a sham all along." I sarcastically continue.

"Sounds like she didn't change too much." Matthew offers a quick smile.

"Nope…still cold as ice. She thawed a little around Chance…something about being around him caused her to act almost human…but otherwise…she was a complete ice queen."

"Maybe she was starting to realize what she missed when you were growing up." Matthew offered.

"I doubt it. She never wanted me…or him. But maybe being alone more…after my father divorced her and we both officially moved out…maybe something finally clicked with her and she realized that she drove everyone away and he was her last chance…no pun intended…at having someone in her family that would stay around her for more than five minutes…who knows." I state…shrugging my shoulders in reply.

"Do Chance and the Ambassador get along now?" Matthew asks.

"He gets along with better than most of us…but he doesn't put up with any of her crap either." I smile as I reply. "Of course…Neither does Summer…she picked that up from him I guess. I just wish I would've been more like them when I was younger…maybe I wouldn't have turned out like I did."

"You turned out pretty good, Em. You're an amazing profiler with an elite unit of the FBI…and you have friends and family that would travel all over the world just to help you. I'd say you're doing ok." Matthew replies.

"The thing is Mattie…they're trying to help the person they think I am…but most of them don't really know me. At least not the real me. Hell…at this point…I'm not even sure I know who I am anymore. I've pretended to be someone else for so long…whoever someone needed me to be…or wanted me to be. I don't even remember who I am…or was…at this point."

"Well…keep looking through those files…maybe you'll start to remember more…and figure it out." Matthew replies…nodding towards the remaining files.

"Maybe."

"So…you were saying that you started off at Georgetown. Did you get in on grades…or did the Ambassador pull some strings to get you in?" Matthew asks.

"Actually, I got in on my grades…somehow. I guess because I moved around so much and worked with tutors the last few months…at least after my accident. I only ended up going to a real school a few months before I wrecked my car and ended up back at home with that ass of a tutor again. Also because I didn't have any friends and spent most of my time at home…my grades improved more." I explain.

"Well, you always were one of the smartest people I knew, Em." Matthew smiles as he replies.

"Not that smart…or I wouldn't have gotten mixed up in all of the stuff I did. But I guess that's more of just making the wrong choices instead of what you're talking about." I answer.

"Being smart and being angry or confused about stuff are two different things, Em. You were angry and confused…you were never stupid." Matthew states. "So…what did you take at Georgetown?"

"I started off at Georgetown taking Political Science and Linguistics. Those were the Ambassador's choice, but I didn't really like either one. It wasn't that either one of them were hard. The problem was…they weren't challenging at all. I ended up having too much free time on my hands. I guess that was what the Ambassador wanted all along. More time to spend with her attending her stupid functions. That was where I ran into Lucas again." I explain.

"Did you remember him when you saw him?" Matthew asks.

"No, actually. When I saw him there, I didn't recognize him at all. I went to one of her parties and was 'mingling'" I signal in air quotes "and he came up to me and started talking. Something about him seemed familiar, but I couldn't figure out why. He said his parents had drug him there and he was bored to death. We just started talking and I found out he was going to Georgetown too, but didn't mention what he was going there for or anything. I didn't think much about it at the time and we just talked that day."

"And he didn't mention knowing you from Italy?"

"No." I answer…shaking my head. "Anyway… A week or so later…I was in a minor traffic accident and went to the hospital nearby and he was working there. He said he was a medical student at Georgetown, and that his parents had insisted he attend an Ivy League Medical School. He said he just wanted to be a doctor and didn't care where he went, but since his parents were elitists, they insisted he go there instead of somewhere else. We started talking again and that's when I remembered him from Italy. He claimed that he didn't remember me either, but looking back on it, I'm sure he was lying."

"Why do you say that?"

"He claimed his parents insisted he go to an elite medical school…and I'm sure they did want him to go to a good school. But if they really wanted him to go to the best…he would have been going to Harvard or somewhere like that. He chose Georgetown because I was going there. I just didn't see the obvious warning signs flashing in front of me at the time. I didn't know enough about medical schools or anything like that back then." I reply

"But you do now?" Matthew asks

"Yeah…you work where I do…people tend to get hurt. Besides…with all of the background information that Garcia has to do…we find out all kinds of things."

"So you all get hurt…or is it just you trying to play the hero all the time?" Matthew smirks as he asks.

"It's wasn't just me…but I did get hurt a few times. Anyhow, we're getting off track here. By the time I met him again, I'd forgotten how creepy he was as a kid. He just seemed so charming when I met him at school, I'd just forgot all about it. He seemed funny and was a complete gentleman anytime we were together. Plus, as a bonus…he was high enough in social standing to attend social functions with me anytime the Ambassador requested my presence. I didn't have to attend those alone…and she stopped pestering me about not 'seeing anyone'. I thought it was funny at the time…and we constantly joked about it since I would do the same thing for him when his parents would have social functions."

"Sounds like everything was going okay for a while" Matthew replies.

"I thought so too. But it never really was okay. With all of the free time I had on my hands...some of my bad coping skills starting coming up again. Some of them never really left. I was still cutting. I slowed down a little, but I never really stopped doing that completely. But, I had stopped drinking and doing drugs. With all of the free time I started having, I started to drink again and I was doing drugs once in a while. Nothing like I had done before. But the kids at school were doing them…and I wanted to fit in with them. It was the first time I actually had friends…or so I thought…other than you and John. And since they were all doing them…and I wanted them to like me…I did them too." I offered a sad smile to Matthew.

"You were never one to bend to peer pressure. Why did you let it get to you this time?" Matthew asks.

"Honestly…I'm not sure. I guess because I was away from everyone else most of the time. My aunt and uncle were raising Chance and I only saw them once in a while on the weekends. My parents never were supportive and so no one bothered to check on me. I thought my new 'friends' actually cared…but I think they were just using me for my money and political connections since they knew about my mom."

"Politics really suck sometimes." Matthew muttered.

"Yeah….tell me about it. That's why I avoid anything political like the plague. I hate it when people think I'm using my background or what the Ambassador does to get ahead. If anything…I do the opposite. Politics just makes people hate themselves and turns them against each other. It makes people doubt themselves and everyone around them…and destroys friends and families alike. I remember when I first started at the BAU, Hotch thought I got the job because of the Ambassador or because I had some political motive…and I just remember being so pissed when accused me of that. I was more qualified than anyone there could possibly know…and he thought I was just some political hack. I told him basically what I just told you about how much I hate politics…and a vague reference to my feelings about my mother as well." I state…remembering that conversation with Hotch in his office.

"Guess he didn't know you very well back then. As for hating politics, I feel the same way. My family, John, and his family did too. Unfortunately, none of us figured it out before it destroyed all of us and everything around us too." Matthew agrees. "So…we got off track again…finish what you were saying about school."

"Oh…right. So…well, Lucas really didn't have any friends of his own and was around me and 'my friends' all the time. Since we were drinking and doing drugs once in a while, he started to do the same thing. The problem was he went overboard. He was probably drinking and doing drugs before, but I just didn't notice. He was really good at hiding things from me back then. He was working a lot of hours at the hospital along with all of his classes at school. So, I wouldn't have known about it even if he was…at least not when we first got together."

"Good at hiding things back then?" Matthew asks.

"Yeah…he hid a lot from me. He would disappear all the time and claim he was at school or the hospital, but I would find out later he wasn't. I never really did find out where he was or what he was doing. A lot of the time when he was gone, I was hanging out with my friends so I didn't really care. Sometimes, he would come back and be mad or upset about something, so I just left him alone for a while. When he was like that, he would apologize later for being 'grumpy' and would take me out to dinner or a movie or something. I just assumed he was having problems at school or with his parents. The longer we were around each other…the more I was able to figure him out. Unfortunately…by then, it was too late. And…by that time, he was able to read me really well too."

"What do you mean, too late?"