A/N: Please note that other triggering content (self-harm and suicide will be discussed) throughout the story. Please be forewarned and take precautions if these are troubling for you.

A/N: Poem in this chapter "Key to My Heart" was written by Amanda Marie.

I just wanted to thank everyone for the reviews. My muse and I both appreciate it.

This is still, as of now, planned to be a fairly long, multi-part story, but if y'all aren't into it…I'll wrap it up soon.

And remember…reviews and feedback keep me and my muse motivated…especially if they're positive!

***More drama and more secrets revealed***

I hope you enjoy this latest chapter…Now on with the show!

"There are things known and things unknown and in between are the doors." ~ Jim Morrison

"I overthink decisions when I should really trust my heart." ~ Brian Littrell

Chapter 43

I glance over at Chance and notice he's checking his phone again.

"Is everything okay?" I ask.

"Yeah. Tom's here. He's in with Grandma Bella now taking a look at the photos. She thought he might be able to figure out the connections on the photos that the rest of us couldn't. She said that Garcia is working with him too."

"Hopefully he will. I'd like to have all of those questions answered before your mom wakes up." I reply as I look between Chance and Summer.

As I do, I notice Summer looking between the machines and Emily, but avoiding eye contact with me.

"Sweetie…is everything okay?" I ask…directing my question to Summer.

"Yeah…I guess. I just wish she'd wake up or at least move or something…she's too still right now." Summer replies sadly.

"I know sweetie…I do too. But the doctor told us that she could be asleep for a while. She's been through a lot and her body needs some time to get better…stronger." I reply…trying to sound as convincing as possible for her and Chance…and I hope that in the process I'll believe what I'm saying too.

I hear a soft knock on the door and turn in time to see Dr. Hayes enter quietly. She slowly walks in and checks the monitors before stating "everything is still looking good. If she remains stable…she'll hopefully wake up before too long."

I watch as Dr. Hayes notates a few things on Emily's chart before patting my shoulder on her way back out. She quietly adds "let me know if you have any questions or if her condition changes at all. I'll be back to check on her in a little while" as she slowly exits the room.

"She seems really nice…like she really cares about mom" Chance states softly.

"Yeah…I think she does." I reply as I glance back towards the door…noticing that Reid is talking with Dr. Hayes.

I think what's happened to Emily has really bothered Reid…since every time I've looked towards the door or left the room…he seems to be hovering near her door. Especially after he admitted to me a few weeks ago that he considered taking Dilaudid when we were told Emily was dead and now she's hurt again…I'm a little worried about him. I decide to ask her kids if it would be okay to have him come in for a little while.

"Guys…would you mind if I ask Reid to come in for a little bit? I think your mom being hurt is really upsetting him and he's been hovering around her door since we came in." I quietly ask.

I watch as Chance and Summer shoot a look between each other before replying in unison "that's fine."

"Mom always thought of him as a little brother…so I'm sure she'd be fine with him being here." Chance finishes the reply.

"Thanks." I quietly answer as I get up and slowly back towards the door.

I open the door and find Reid pacing back and forth a few feet from her door. At seeing her door open, he rushes over asking "is everything okay? Do I need to get Dr. Hayes?"

"No change Spence…I just thought I'd see if you want to come in the room for a little while instead of pacing out here. I know you're worried about her and I thought maybe sitting inside with all of us might be better than worrying out here by yourself."

"I don't want to intrude. Besides hospital rules only allow for 2 visitors and you already have 3. Also, what will she think if she wakes up and finds me in there with you and her kids?" Reid nervously rambles off excuses.

"Well…first…you won't be intruding because you're her family…just like the rest of the team. Second…the hospital rules don't apply to Emily…we have that taken care of. And third, when she wakes up and sees you…she'll understand that you were concerned about her and care about her. So come on…let's get back in there." I finish as I take Reid's hand and slowly walk back inside Emily's room.

I watch as Reid nervously looks for a chair to sit in that is out of the way…and I'm amazed yet again to see Chance grab a chair from the side of the room and pull it up for Reid to sit in…right next to mine…and right next to Emily's bed.

"There you go…they aren't that comfortable…but mom will appreciate you being here. She'll appreciate it even more considering how uncomfortable those things are." Chance smiles as he returns to his own seat.

"They weren't designed for comfort…they were designed to be cost-effective alternatives that could be sold in bulk to various businesses and hospitals in an effort to…" Reid starts to discuss the statistics on mass produced chairs when Summer glances up and smiles before interrupting his monologue.

"Mom was right about you…you are super smart and know a lot of interesting facts."

"Oh…sorry…wrong time and place." Reid blushes and bows his head…as if he's ashamed about his random fact-based knowledge that he tends to bring up…especially when he's nervous or when he can't think of anything else to say.

"No…we think it's cool. Is there anything you don't know?" Chance asks…truly interested by Reid and his vast knowledge.

"Actually…there's a lot I don't know." Reid answers honestly…catching me off-guard.

I didn't think there was anything he didn't know and if there was…I never thought he'd admit it to anyone else.

"Like what?" Summer asks.

"When she's going to wake up." Reid answers…glancing up at Emily…a hint of sadness in his voice.

"So…what was in that folder Em?" Matthew asks.

"Just one file." I quietly reply.

"Just one? Well…that should make finding that map easier. What's written on the file?"

"JJ"

"Should've seen that coming. Probably a good thing though, since it looks like you're about out of time Em." Matthew states quietly.

"What do you mean? How much time do I have?" I ask…a little nervous that I still haven't found that stupid map he said I needed…and what will happen if I can't find it.

"Well…I mean…as close as you and JJ are…" Matthew starts to explain.

"Not that…I meant about running out of time" I interrupt.

"Oh…that. Yeah…well…we got caught up with that last file and I didn't want to interrupt you…but you should probably find that map soon."

"You still haven't answered my question. How much time do I have to find the map?" I ask again.

"You should have enough to go through that file…but not much longer." Matthew explains.

I start to ask another question and I hear a soft voice…almost a whisper…it's JJ.

"I need you…please come back to me, Em…I love you sweetheart."

"Did you hear that?" I ask Matthew.

"Yeah…I did. I told you she loves you. I doubt she's left your side since you got hurt." Matthew states with a sweet, genuine smile. "So…open up that file and see what's inside…and find that map."

"Okay…okay…" I reply as I open the file.

I look in the file and am somewhat disappointed to see that it only contains one piece of paper, with a poem of all things.

"Well…don't leave me in suspense…what's in the file?" Matthew asks.

"No map…just some weird poem."

"What? The map has to be there…maybe you missed it." Matthew states.

"I think I'd notice a map. Besides, there was only one sheet of paper in this folder. It's not like I got it mixed up with something else." I state…irritation starting to form in my voice.

"Easy, Em. It's obviously important. You said it was some weird poem. Maybe it's a clue or something. What does it say?" Matthew replies.

"It's called 'Key to my heart." I start to reply as Matthew interrupts.

"That's it. The answer to where the map is at is in the poem. Read it…" Matthew replies excitedly.

"Fine…just calm down" I state…still slightly agitated. "I had closed the door upon my heart, and wouldn't let anyone in. I had trusted and loved only to be hurt, but that would never happen again. I locked the door and tossed the key, as hard and as far as I could; my heart was closed for good. Then you came into my life, and made me change my mind. Just when I thought that tiny key was impossible to find. That's was when you held out your hand, and proved me wrong. Inside your palm was the key to my heart, you had it all along."

"That's it…JJ's the key." Matthew states with a smile.

"What are you talking about? I thought I was looking for a map." I reply…confused.

"I said you would need a map to find your way out of your head…but I guess you just need JJ instead. She's the key. You just need to let her in…to your heart and your head and you'll find your way out. She'll help you find your way out…if you let her. That's what that poem was trying to tell you." Matthew explains.

"I don't understand how she can help if I can't find my way out of my head to get to her." I reply…still confused about what he's saying.

"You just have to open that door…and look for JJ. Listen to the sound of her voice and open your eyes…and your heart to her. Don't shut her out and she'll be able to help you find your way back." Matthew explains.

"Back to what though? I still don't know what I'd be going back to…what happened to me that caused me to get stuck in my head…hiding from everyone and everything. Besides….I have no idea where I stand with JJ. I know the poem said she has the 'key to my heart'…but that could be setting me up to go down the same road with JJ that I've been down before. I love JJ…but…"

Matthew interrupts before I can continue "no buts…unless there is some other reason why you don't want to go back. I mean…you and I both heard JJ tell you that she loves you and needs you…and you just said you love her. You know she has no way of knowing if you can hear her or not…so it has to be her true feelings and not something she's just saying. So I'd think you'd want to try and see if that works out. Was their some other reason why you wouldn't want to go back?" Matthew asks…growing serious with his question.

"I don't know…maybe. I guess I'm just worried. I was really messed up before all of this happened. What if I go back and I'm even worse. Then what? I don't want to make things even worse for everyone…especially JJ. What if I go back and end up hurting her more than I already have? Or wishing I would have gone with you instead of going back to all of them? Wouldn't that cause them even more pain than if I just go with you now? They'd hate me even more then. At least if I go with you now…there would be less of a chance they'd hate me for leaving them?" I ask.

"You really think that would happen? That they'd end up hating you?" Matthew replies.

"I don't know, Mattie. Maybe."

"Well…I hate to have to tell you this, but you're going to have to decide one way or another. You're out of time, so you need to decide if you're going back to JJ and the rest of the people that love you…or if you're coming with me." Matthew states as he stands and walks towards the door.

I stand and follow him towards the door…still unsure about what I'm going to do.

He leans over…kisses my cheek…and takes my hand as he states "when we walk through that door…just tell me where you're going…with me or to find JJ. If you choose JJ…just know that I'll always be looking out for you. And for what it's worth…no matter what you choose…no one will hate you. We all love you. You just have to decide if you love yourself enough to give your life on earth one more shot…and give yourself time to see if you really do have happiness in your future…with JJ by your side." Matthew states with a big smile…as he firmly grasps my hand and we walk through the door.