A/N: Please note that other triggering content (self-harm and suicide will be discussed) throughout the story. Please be forewarned and take precautions if these are troubling for you.

A/N: Violence towards a primary character is mentioned/discussed in this chapter. Please be forewarned if that is troubling for you.

I just wanted to thank everyone for the reviews. My muse and I both appreciate it.

This is still, as of now, planned to be a fairly long, multi-part story, but if y'all aren't into it…I'll wrap it up soon.

And remember…reviews and feedback keep me and my muse motivated…especially if they're positive!

***More drama and more secrets revealed***

I hope you enjoy this latest chapter…Now on with the show!

"The past cannot be cured." ~ Elizabeth I

"The face is the mirror of the mind, and eyes without speaking confess the secrets of the heart." ~ St. Jerome

Chapter 47

After watching the doctor leave, I've been wracking my brain trying to remember what happened that would've put me here in this hospital bed…having apparently forgotten the past few days.

I keep getting flashes of what I think are memories…but I can't be sure. Though given what the doctor said about my injuries…I'm not entirely sure I really want to remember.

Everything I've got seems to hurt…and the discomfort and overall pain just keep increasing the longer I'm awake.

I can't help but stare at the bandages that are around my hips and pelvis and given how that area feels, and what the doctor told me, I was apparently assaulted…again…with some kind of knife or something like it.

I'm not sure why this keeps happening to me. Maybe I have some kind of sign on my forehead that lets people know that it's apparently fine to do that to me…like "no problem…help yourself".

That or I did something horrible to someone before and this is some form of payback or karma or something.

I guess I should be used to it by now.

I remember telling JJ I was broken before…guess this just proves my point.

Wait…when was it I told her that? That seems like it was something I just told her…but when? And why would I have told her something like that when we haven't exactly been having personal conversations recently.

God…I'm so confused right now.

Maybe Chance and Summer can fill in some of the blanks that I can't seem to piece together. And while they're at it…they can tell me why they're here in the first place instead of staying clear of my team like they're supposed to.

As long as Lucas is roaming around…it isn't safe for them to be out in the open. Unless those flashes I keep seeing with Lucas have something to do with me being here…and that's why they're here now.

I hear the door to my room open and see Chance and Summer walk in…rushing over to me. Both of them gently wrapping me in a hug and telling me they love me.

I try to hug them back, but between my injuries and all of the tubes and wires, my efforts are not very effective so I simply lay a soft kiss on each of their temples instead.

"Thank God you're awake…we were so worried about you." Summer states anxiously.

"Yeah…we were all worried." Chance echoes.

"What…happened?" I choke out.

"Why are…are you here…my team?" I ask…my scratchy throat making it difficult to talk.

"Mom…we know you don't remember the last few days. Dr. Hayes filled us in. Just know that everything is okay. We're safe. Everyone is. Lucas is dead and we're not in any danger now. And everyone on your team knows about both of us now." Chance explains.

"How?" I ask.

"I'm not sure if we should tell you or if it's better for you to remember on your own. We don't want to say anything to upset you or make things worse." Chance answers.

"Please" I ask again…coughing slightly.

"Mom…do you want some water?" Summer asks…concern lacing her voice.

I nod in reply and watch as she holds a cup of water for me to drink from, which does help a little.

"Thank you." I reply and look over at Chance for a reply.

"I don't know a lot of details since I wasn't there. But I know you saved Summer from Lucas and he was killed when that happened. JJ was the first one to get there when everything started and she helped you and Summer out. She even rode with you in the ambulance after you were hurt. She's been here this whole time. I guess something changed the in the last few days between the two of you and she really wants to talk to you about it. She's really worried about you. She loves you mom. If Summer and I didn't know that before…we do now." Chance replies.

Lucas is dead? JJ and Summer were there when it happened? God…I hope he didn't hurt either one of them.

He must be the reason I got hurt…and who assaulted me…again. And Chance said something changed between me and JJ…but what? What could've changed that much in just a few days?

"Did he hurt you…or JJ? Or anyone else?" I ask Summer.

I watch as Summer fights back tears before answering "No…just you. You saved me…like you always do."

"What's wrong baby?" I ask…wondering why she's crying.

"Mom…I'm so sorry you got hurt. It's all my fault. You told me to be extra careful because he was out on parole and I didn't listen." Summer replies…still softly crying.

"It's okay baby…you don't need to apologize. I'll always protect you. I'll always protect all of my kids." I reply glancing over at Chance.

"It's my job…and I wouldn't have it any other way. Please don't feel guilty. It was my choice…and I would do it all again if it meant keeping you safe." I softly reply.

"But we almost lost you…" Summer starts to argue but I interrupt.

"But you didn't. I'm okay now." I argue.

"You're not okay, mom. We all know that. But you'll get better…just don't shut us out and try to do it all on your own…please." Chance replies.

"I know…I meant that I'll be okay. I just don't want you all to worry about me…that's all." I reply.

I guess saying I was okay probably wasn't the best idea…but I really don't want them to worry or waste their time waiting for me to get better. Based on what the doctor said…my injuries could take a while to recover from and I know they have better things to do with their time than to try and nurse me back to somewhat decent shape.

"You said it was your job to protect us, right?" Chance asks.

I just nod.

"Well, it's our job to protect you too…and to take care of you when you need it. That's part of the deal. And we wouldn't have it any other way…right Summer?" Chance replies…glancing over at Summer.

I watch as Summer nods in reply.

"You're stubborn…both of you…you know that?" I ask.

"We got that from you." Chance calmly replies with a crooked smile.

"Probably." I acknowledge...rolling my eyes at his answer.

"But you have that job you are supposed to start soon. And Summer…you still have school you need to finish. I won't be the reason you flunk out your Senior year. You've both done really well despite my not being around as much as I wanted to all these years. I won't be the reason it all falls apart for you now. I'm not saying you can't come see me…but I don't want you spending all of your time here. You have other things that are more important that you should be focusing on." I continue arguing with them.

"Mom…we're not going to leave you alone…or with some strangers here in the hospital." Summer replies.

"You don't need to hang around here 24/7. I'm awake now and I'll be okay." I try convincing them…but Summer interrupts me.

"Sure…we have things we could be doing…but you're more important than any of that. You'd do the same for us and you know it." Summer argues back with me.

"What if we compromise?" Chance offers.

"What are you talking about?" I ask. I'm almost afraid to find out what his version of a compromise might be.

"Well…we won't leave you alone…or with strangers from the hospital taking care of you…despite how well-trained they might be. That's not up for debate." Chance shoots me a look as if to say he's not going to take no for an answer.

I just look on…knowing he's not finished. He continues by saying "What if JJ stays with you when we're not here? That way we know you're being taken care of by someone that cares about you as much as we do when we're gone. We'll still worry…but maybe not quite as much. Besides…I doubt she'll be leaving the hospital until you're ready to leave anyways; at least not unless she has to for some reason." Chance finishes.

"I don't know about that. I know you said something changed between us in the last few days…but I can't see how anything would've changed that much. And why are you both so determined to see the two of us together anyways?" I question.

"Because she loves you mom…and we know you love her." Summer quietly replies.

"Maybe…I don't know. It doesn't really matter anyways. She'll eventually need to go home and take care of Henry and Will. Or he'll start to wonder why she's spending all of her time here instead of at home." I reply.

"Wow…you really don't remember the last few days…do you?" Summer replies.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Will and JJ aren't together. We just found out but I guess she must've just told you in the last few days too. He's been seeing someone else. I guess Will and JJ are both okay with whatever happened. Will even texted JJ to see how you were. He asked her to let him know when you were feeling better so he could bring Henry up here to see you since you're close to him." Summer answers.

The parking garage…JJ telling me that she wasn't with Will anymore. I remember that now. She'd insisted on coming back to my place to talk to me after that case in California and then she kissed me. I'm starting to remember more now…but some things are still really fuzzy.

I still can't remember what happened with Lucas or anything else right now…but I guess my memory is starting to return. Though I'm not sure if that's a good thing or not…given that whatever the final event was landed me here.

"Mom…are you okay?" Chance asks…concern tinting his voice.

"Uhhh…yeah. Sorry. I was just remembering JJ telling me about her and Will." I respond almost without thinking.

"Did you remember anything else?" Summer cautiously asks.

"No…not yet. Why?"

"Maybe JJ is the key to you remembering more. I know she's really worried about you and she really wants to see you. Can I tell her it's okay to come back in now?" Summer asks.

JJ is the key…I remember Matthew and I talking about that too. But the longer I'm back here…the more distant those memories seem to get too. I'm not sure I'm up for a talk with JJ right now…but my guess is that she's not going to give up and go home or anything…so I might as well get this over with.

Besides, if I don't want to talk…I can always pretend like my throat is bothering me too much to talk or that I've fallen asleep or something. But then I realize something else. Chance and Summer may not be the only people JJ could've found out about.

"Not just yet…who else knows I'm here?"

"Your parents are here…Grandma Bella and Uncle Tom are here too. I sent a text to everyone else…well almost everyone. Just to keep them updated. Why?"

"Great…my parents are here. Wait…why is Tom here? He didn't say anything to Mattie did he?" I ask…worried that he'll want to see me now and get scared if he sees how bad I must look.

"Uncle Tom just came because Grandma Bella told him you were here. He told Mattie you were hurt but didn't tell him how bad it was. He just told him that he'd bring him up to see you later on…once you were feeling better." Chance explains.

"What about Auggie and Elena? Did you say anything to them?"

"Yeah…but they weren't going to say anything to Kasey and Logan until we knew more. But you know they're going to wonder what's going on if they don't hear from you pretty soon." Chance replies.

That reminds me…I've been looking around while we've been talking and I haven't been able to find any mirrors or anything. Judging by how I feel I'm sure I look even worse than normal. Since I normally do a video call with them at least once a week if I can't see them in person, if I look too bad, I won't be able to do that. I need to have one of them find me a mirror so I can see what I look like.

"That reminds me…Summer…can you find me a mirror? I want to see for myself how bad I look."

"Mom…you can just call them. Just tell them you're away on a case and you can't do your normal video call for a little while. Just tell them you've got bad reception or something." Summer deflects.

I must look worse than I feel…and that's not good. Still…I want to know how bad it is.

"Nice try…but I still want to see for myself. Besides…I want to know how long I need to tell them it'll be before I'll be able to at least do a video call."

I watch as Summer slowly reaches in her purse and pulls out a compact mirror. As she hands it to me she reminds me "it's not that bad…really. Besides…you just got hurt and all of that will heal."

I know she's just trying to brace me for what I'm about to see…but when I take the mirror and look at my reflection…even I'm somewhat shocked. I looked bad enough before…but I look horrendous now.

It's like someone decided to use my face as a punching bag…using brass knuckles. No wonder it hurts so much. I'm surprised anyone can stand to even look at me right now.

I flash back to staring at a mirror in the hotel room in California…having a very similar thought. Staring at my reflection wondering how in the world anyone would ever want to look at me. Knowing that I can barely stand to look at myself…so many flaws…so many problems; and that was before whatever landed me here.

It's as if for some people…they get more beautiful as the days go on. JJ is a perfect example of that. Every day that passes…she becomes more and more stunning. I'm the exact opposite. For me…as time marches on…it's like the marching band is stomping right over the top of me. This time…they apparently stomped right directly over entire body…including my face.