A/N: Please note that other triggering content (self-harm and suicide will be discussed) throughout the story. Please be forewarned and take precautions if these are troubling for you.
I just wanted to thank everyone for the reviews. My muse and I both appreciate it.
This is still, as of now, planned to be a fairly long, multi-part story, but if y'all aren't into it…I'll wrap it up soon.
And remember…reviews and feedback keep me and my muse motivated…especially if they're positive!
***More drama and more secrets revealed***
I hope you enjoy this latest chapter…Now on with the show!
"It's no wonder that truth is stranger than fiction. Fiction has to make sense." ~ Mark Twain
"The truth will set you free, but first it will make you miserable." ~ James A. Garfield
Chapter 53
The room has fallen silent as I wait for a response.
I watch and notice Tom look over to Emily's parents and see them glance over to me briefly before Elizabeth finally looks back at Tom and nods, as if they are having some kind of silent conversation.
When he doesn't respond right away, I finally blurt out "what's going on? Who are Kasey and Logan and why do I get the feeling that none of you want to tell me?"
"Well JJ, that's because we had hoped that this was a topic that Emily would be able to discuss with you herself." Elizabeth finally replies.
"Given that Emily seems to be having some memory issues right now, along with some other medical stuff, I guess that leaves you. Besides, after everything I've heard and found out recently, I doubt much could surprise me at this point." I nervously reply…glancing between Chance and Summer.
I mean Damn…finding out about the two of them was one Hell of a surprise and they act like whoever Kasey and Logan are will shock me more than that.
"I wouldn't be so sure, dear." Elizabeth softly replies.
Not sure if I like that cryptic non-answer. Why the Hell don't they just spit it out!
"Good grief…Will one of you just tell me who they are…please?" I ask again…a cross between being slightly irritated and nervous.
"They're Emily's youngest son and daughter." Alex finally speaks up.
"Uhhmmm….come again? Did…did you just say?" I start to ask if I heard him correctly, but Tom cuts me off before I can continue.
"You heard him correctly JJ." Tom quietly states.
I look around the room and all of my team are staring at Emily's family with what I assume are similar shocked features to what I must have right now.
I realize I just thought moments ago that nothing would shock me after finding out about Chance and Summer…but two more kids…holy shit! That weird twisted clown car I had imagined earlier just blew up in my face. The skeletons from that car are flying all around the room right now!
I have a million questions…but I can't seem to formulate any coherent words at the moment. Thankfully, Rossi asks some of the questions that I had been thinking about.
"Why didn't Emily tell us about them? Was Lucas their father too, or was there some other reason she kept them a secret from all of us?"
"No, Lucas wasn't their father, but to answer your other question, he was part of the reason she kept them a secret. She was trying to make sure she did everything she could to protect them…to keep them safe. In order to do that, she had to keep them a secret from everyone except for myself and those in her family." Tom explains.
"No offense intended Tom, but why would you need to be aware of this information if secrecy was so paramount? I understand you are Isabella's brother, but that doesn't really explain your need to know. Not when those of us she said were like family to her couldn't be trusted enough to share this with." Morgan responds…clearly hurt that Emily had kept so much of her life from all of us.
"I understand your confusion Agent Morgan, and this is why all of us had hoped Emily would be the one to explain this to you. As it is now, we are in a situation where we need to explain it to you ourselves so we can try to resolve this" Tom waves his hand towards all of the pictures on the wall "and informing you about Kasey and Logan became a part of this situation. We would've all preferred to let Emily explain all of this to you all in her own way…in her own time…but that simply wasn't an option…given her current medical condition."
Tom sees Morgan start to interject again and quietly asks "just give me a minute…and I'll answer your question…okay?"
Morgan just nods…still frustrated and hurt by the situation.
I'm still trying to wrap my head around what I just heard…when I feel Summer squeeze my hand and I momentarily glance towards her.
I hear her whisper to me "please don't give up on her" and I absent-mindedly nod in response.
Tom continues with his explanation "there were other factors involved, in addition to me just being Isabella's brother, which played a role in my knowing about Kasey and Logan, Agent Morgan. The first of which is that I was one of the first people to discover Emily was pregnant…and to answer the question I'm sure you all are now wondering…no…I'm not the father. To answer your next question, yes, we all know who their father is. That is the other reason why Emily was so insistent on keeping them a secret from everyone except those of us that needed to know."
"Who's their father?" I quietly ask…almost afraid to hear the answer.
"That's the other reason that I needed to know about them JJ." Tom calmly stated…and then quietly added "Their father was Ian."
"What?" I ask…hoping I heard him wrong.
"Ian was their father. They're Matthew's half-brother and sister. That's why I needed to know about them. That's also why she had to keep them a secret and why the two of us officially adopted Matthew when we brought him back to the States. We wanted to make sure that he was officially part of his real family." Tom finishes.
I am completely speechless at this point. Of all the things I thought I'd hear…this was nowhere on the radar. Chance and Summer are nearly grown…but if these two kids belong to Ian…that means that they can't be that old. She just finished her undercover work with him right before she started working at the BAU and that was just a few years ago.
I remember that case not too long after she started when I told her that I could see her with kids…and she seemed surprised. Good God…how could I have known she already had four kids…well I guess five…considering she legally adopted Declan…or I guess Matthew since they changed his name.
No wonder she was always so good with kids…and so protective of them. She was always so good with Henry too. Turns out she's had years of practice with them.
And all this time I would wonder what she would be like as a mom. Now I guess I know. Absent but protective…kind of like her own mom. Her mom put her career first…which I realize is different…but still.
I guess Emily was trying to protect her kids…but the result was basically the same. She always seemed so hurt and bitter about her parents not being there when she was growing up…and she basically ended up doing the same thing to her own kids…at least from what I've heard so far.
Although it looks like in her case…she was doing it for their protection. Her kids still ended up without her around very much…or their fathers…which I suppose for them ended up being a good thing…given who their fathers were.
Maybe that's part of the reason she seemed surprised when I told her she'd make a good mom someday. Maybe she recognized the similarities between her own situation growing up and what she was doing with her own kids.
I wonder if she ever considered staying with them and trying to protect them herself…or if she thought it was just too dangerous? It must've been a horrible choice for her to make…walk away from your own kids and pretend they don't exist around everyone to keep them safe or stay and try and protect them yourself…not knowing if you could. Given how violent Ian and Lucas both were…which I'm sure she knew better than anyone else…I can't even imagine how hard that must've been.
Regardless though…I still must've looked like a complete idiot whenever I'd talk to her about her being a mom someday. I wonder if she thought it was funny or laugh about it later? Especially considering she had kids of her own that whole time. Or did she wish she could tell me? Did she ever consider telling me?
All of those conversations…not just between Emily and the entire team…but especially those when it was just the two of us. Why couldn't she trust me enough to tell me something this important? Did I really screw up that badly…hurt her that badly that she couldn't tell me something this important?
I know Tom said it was for their safety. I know in my head he's right considering how dangerous Ian was…and how dangerous Lucas was too. But why didn't she trust me enough…trust our team enough…to tell us? We would've kept her and her kids safe.
I realize there were times that I let her down personally…but she should've known she was always safe with me…with our team. We wouldn't have let anything happen to her or her kids. I mean she had to have known that…right?
"How old are they?" Garcia asks…snapping me out of my rambling thoughts.
"Seven…but they'll be turning eight in a little over a week." Elizabeth replies.
"Twins?" Garcia asks.
"Yes. And quite adorable if you ask me. But then again…I may be somewhat biased." Elizabeth answers…a hint of a smile playing on her lips.
It's the first genuine smile I've witnessed from her the entire time I've been around her.
"Are you okay?" Chance whispers to me.
Offering a slight nod in response, I ask "where are they now?"
"They've been staying with Emily's aunt and uncle. That's part of the reason I needed to tell you about them. It appears as though Lucas targeted people around her aunt and uncle, their children, Emily's siblings, as well as all of their significant others. It doesn't appear as though Lucas realized who Kasey and Logan actually were, thankfully, but I'm sure he knew they were connected in some way to Emily."
"So no one in her family…including her kids…were hurt in any way?" I clarify.
Despite my rambling thoughts and mixed emotions at this point…the last thing I would ever want is for something to have happened to any of Emily's family…especially any of her kids.
"No…thankfully…all of them were spared. However…those around them didn't fare as well. From what I've been able to piece together with Ms. Garcia, the only times Lucas wasn't targeting women or women weren't dying were the brief time he was institutionalized and the time when he was in prison more recently." He pointed out the gap in time where the deaths stopped and that seemed to correlate to when he was either in the institution or in prison.
Tom continues on with the connection by explaining "it seems that Lucas didn't have a specific person he was targeting within Emily's family…just as long as they had a connection to Emily. There were teachers from the kids' schools, neighbors, current and former co-workers, ex-girlfriends of her siblings and her aunt and uncles kids, and classmates from various schools for several of them."
"So all of them were connected, either directly or indirectly, to Emily?" Reid asks.
"Yes. Although I doubt Emily knew most of them. She may recognize a few of them…or at least she might once she regains her memory. The others were just connected to people in her family. I assume that Lucas viewed them as some kind of threat…for some reason…or just wanted to punish Emily as part of some larger plan to exact revenge against her."
"Which is how we all ended up here…now." Morgan concedes…looking towards the door that leads to Emily's room.
"Yes…unfortunately." Tom nods as he replies.
"Garcia…keep looking for any records on these women…see if we can find anything that will point to their deaths not being suicide, natural, or accidental deaths. We need to have as much proof as possible if we're going to re-open old wounds for all these families…we need to be sure Lucas really was responsible for each of their deaths."
"I'm on it Sir." Garcia responds…already typing on her keyboard.
"Garcia?" Summer hesitantly interrupts.
Garcia looks up from the computer "Yeah, sugar?"
"Do you have my mom's phone?"
"Yeah…we needed to pull some information from it…why?" Garcia asks…looking between Summer and the rest of the team.
"She just wanted it back…along with her keys…if one of you have them. We needed to get something for her…and she wanted to use her phone." Summer quietly answers.
"I can get you the keys…but we may need to keep the phone for a while. Was there a reason she couldn't use the phone in her room?" Hotch asks…looking to Summer for a reply.
Summer hesitates before answering…so Chance replies instead. "I think she needs her phone because the numbers are programmed into it. And with her memory being a little off...I don't know that she really remembers all of the numbers." Chance looks away as he replies.
Something seems off with his answer…and I can tell Hotch isn't really buying that answer either. "Let me see what I can do. Here's the keys…" he hands the keys over as he adds "and I'll see if we can finish getting the rest of the information from the phone as soon as possible. I'll give the phone to JJ and she can give it to Emily when we finish up. I'm sure Garcia won't take too much longer to wrap up. Is that okay?"
"I'm sure that's fine. Thanks. Did you need me or Summer for anything else?" Chance answers…looking back at Hotch.
"No…not right now."
"Okay…well…I think we're just going to go back and check on mom then. They should be about finished with her tests." Chance replies…glancing at Summer before looking over to me.
He quietly whispers "are you going to come over to mom's room soon?"
"Uhh…yeah. Lemme just finish up here and I'll be over. Garcia should be finished with your mom's phone by then so I can just bring it with me." I reply.
Summer whispers to me again "are you okay?"
"Yeah…I'm fine." I give a slight nod with my reply.
"Okay…" Summer replies…"if you say so" she mutters quietly as she walks towards the door.
I watch as they both walk through the door towards Emily's room…still wondering what to think now. I didn't think anything else could surprise me…not after finding out about the two of them. But finding out about two more kids that aren't much older than Henry…especially considering that Ian was their father…well…that did surprise me. It's going to take some time to wrap my head around all of that.
I love Emily…that'll never change. I have no intention of running away from her…but damn it! Why does this have to be so hard? I know she told me she had secrets…but shit. There are secrets and then there's Emily's life which seems to take secret-keeping to a whole new level.
I guess I'd be more upset if I didn't still have a couple of big secrets of my own that I'm keeping from her and the rest of the team too. I just hope when the time comes for her to learn about those…well…that she'll be more understanding.
In the meantime…I just have to figure out what to do now. How do we move forward from here?
Emily's just starting to recover…and knowing her…she'll try to push me away. Especially once she realizes I know about her past. The team is still not up to speed on the two of us…or that I'm not with Will anymore. Plus…there are all these kids out there that are scattered everywhere…mine and hers.
And we just barely started to get our relationship started up again. How do we make all of that work…when we haven't figured out how to make us work yet?
I go and sit next to Garcia and quietly ask how much longer she'll be before she's finished with the phone. She lets me know she'll be finished up in about an hour or so. The phone was set up with a lot more security features than she usually has to deal with, so it's taking a little more time. She offers to bring the phone to me when she's done so I can go back and check on Emily.
I do want to see how the tests went, so I decide to accept her offer. I let Hotch know that I'm heading back to check on Emily and that Garcia will just bring Emily's phone to me when she's done with it. I ask him to let me know if they find out anything else or they need me for anything and then I make my way towards Emily's room.
Still unsure of what to say or how to handle the new information I've just discovered…especially given Emily's current medical situation…I decide to just take it one step at a time. I can't push too hard too fast or it may cause her to push me away or put up walls I may never get through. But if I don't talk to her about it at all…I may not be able to find a way to ease into the conversation later.
I guess it's best to see how she's doing and go from there.