A/N: Please note that other triggering content (self-harm and suicide will be discussed) throughout the story. Please be forewarned and take precautions if these are troubling for you.

A/N: Violence towards a primary character is mentioned/discussed in this chapter. Please be forewarned if that is troubling for you.

A/N: Sorry for the slight delay, but to make up for it, I made this chapter a little longer than normal!

I just wanted to thank everyone for the reviews. My muse and I both appreciate it.

This is still, as of now, planned to be a fairly long, multi-part story, but if y'all aren't into it…I'll wrap it up soon.

And remember…reviews and feedback keep me and my muse motivated…especially if they're positive!

***More drama and more secrets revealed***

I hope you enjoy this latest chapter…Now on with the show!

"Why do we feel jealousy? Therapists often regard the demon as a scar of childhood trauma or a symptom of a psychological problem. And it's true that people who feel inadequate, insecure, or overly dependent tend to be more jealous than others." ~ Helen Fisher

"I'm very insecure. I'm human, just like anybody else." ~ Ben Affleck

Chapter 59

I really hate waiting! I used to think that I was a patient person…and for the most part…I think I still am. But not right now…not about this.

When I first walked out of Emily's room, I went over to the room our team had commandeered and checked in with everyone. I wanted to see if they had any new information or if I could find something to pass a little time, but they didn't have any updates.

The only thing I did find out was that the Ambassador, Alex, Isabella, and Tom had all left for the evening. They had told Hotch they would be back tomorrow to check on Emily but didn't think she would want to see them tonight. They did ask that if anything changed, to call immediately though. He promised them he would and said they all seemed genuinely concerned.

Apparently they even told him that the only reason they felt safe leaving was that they all knew that Emily would be safe with all of us here looking after Emily…and with me in particular taking care of her.

Color me surprised. I guess they somewhat approve of me…at least to the extent they realize what our relationship really is and all.

Garcia fussed over me for a little bit. I finally promised her that I would eat something if she had it delivered or if one of the guys picked something up. She said if I didn't agree to that, she would personally drag me out of the hospital and over to the diner across the street to eat something.

I'm not scared of any of the guys. In fact, I think they are usually more scared of me. But with Garcia, when she says something like that, I have no doubt she'd follow through with it.

Apparently she convinced Morgan and Reid to go pick up some food at that diner and they should be on their way back with it any minute.

It's not that I really have an appetite, but I'm scared of what Garcia might do if I don't eat at this point. I wouldn't put it past her to convince one of the doctors to start a feeding tube on me. Definitely can't have that…so I will eat something just to humor her…whenever the boys get back.

In the meantime though, I'm pacing back and forth waiting for Emily's nurse, Chloe, who could just as easily be working as a model instead of a nurse, to finish up with Emily. The few times I've been in the hospital, I've had really sweet older ladies and even a couple of guys…but none that looked like her.

I know it's stupid to be a little jealous of that nurse, but I can't help myself. She's in there helping Emily…and Emily won't let me anywhere near her right now. At least not when it comes to really helping her...and I have no idea what her injuries are either. Yet she lets this beautiful nurse take care of her. And Dr. Hayes is gorgeous too!

Oh well…hopefully Chloe and Dr. Hayes will be able to get through to Emily, and not only help her, but maybe even convince her to talk to me about her injuries.

Regardless…hopefully Chloe and Dr. Hayes will be able to get through to Emily, and not only help her, but maybe even convince her to talk to me about her injuries.

Funny thing is that if it weren't for a real fear of Garcia and what she'd do to him…Morgan would've hit on both the nurse and the doctor shamelessly by now. And poor Reid…I'm not sure if he even knows how to flirt.

Come to think of it…other than that sad attempt he made years ago at asking me out…because of Gideon's prodding and paying for the Redskins tickets…I don't think he's even gone out on a "date". I don't even know if he did that because Gideon brought it up or if he really wanted to ask me out. Actually, I'm not even sure if he is into guys or girls. Guess it really isn't any of my business.

Although he does seem to be talking a lot to Dr. Hayes. I wonder if something is going on there? It'd be nice to see him find someone he could spend time with socially…instead of spending all of his time at work…reading alone…or worrying about his mom.

I glance back up at the clock and realize I've been pacing this hall for 23 minutes.

Shit! Now I'm turning into Reid. I guess as long as I don't start randomly spitting out facts about the length of the hall or how exercise helps relieve stress or something else like that…I should be okay.

Speaking of Reid…I look up and see him and Morgan walking down the hall carrying a couple of bags and a drink carrier. I guess Garcia ordered a crap-load of food and drinks for everyone. I reach out and help them with a couple of the bags since they seem to be struggling with them and open the door so we can carry all of the bags inside our team's room.

Garcia hops up and starts passing out the drinks and food. She hands me a bag and a drink and says with a wink "I got you a milkshake. I'll put it in the fridge for you so it stays cold until you're ready for it."

I offer a smile in return as I reply "Thanks Garcia. I think I'm just going to take this back out there though. The doctor should be finishing up soon and I don't want to miss her when she leaves the room."

I turn and start to walk back out as I hear Morgan say "If you don't mind…we'll come with you…keep you company."

I turn to see Morgan and Reid walking up behind me with their food and drinks in their hand. I just smile and nod in response.

I find a seat on a bench near Emily's door, and turn to Morgan and ask "Did Garcia send you out here to make sure I really eat this?"

I see a slightly guilty look cross Morgan's face and Reid looks away briefly.

Yeah….thought so.

"Well…yeah. But to be fair…I want to know how my princess is doing too. Getting an update from someone else isn't the same as hearing it from the source…ya know?" Morgan replies.

I watch as Reid just nods at Morgan's reply and glances over at me before looking down at his food.

"It's fine. I'm not sure how much I'll be able to find out though. Emily told the doctor earlier not to release any medical information to me or her kids…so we've all been pretty much in the dark all day." I sadly reply as I slowly reach into the bag of food to see what Garcia ordered for me.

I realize she ordered a big sandwich…which would be easy for me to eat…and some Cheetos…which she knows I can't turn down. I look inside and there are also a couple of muffins and some Snickers candy bars. Guess I haven't been myself today. Garcia always jokes that if I don't have my coffee and a Snickers…I'm just not myself. Damn Snickers commercials. But I usually do feel better after I have both.

She also had the boys bring me some coffee. I know I asked the kids to bring me some, but I can never have enough coffee…so that won't be a problem. I slowly take a sip of the coffee and find it is definitely better than the hospital version. I take a bite of the sandwich and realize that I was actually hungrier than I thought. I'll have to thank Garcia later.

"Why would she not want you or her kids…never mind. She's being stubborn…putting up those damn walls of hers again…isn't she?" Morgan quietly asks...slightly shaking his head in frustration.

"Yeah. I'm trying to get through to her…but I'm not sure it's working." I reply…in between bites of my sandwich and sipping my coffee.

"Well JJ…if anyone can get through to that beautiful stubborn woman in their…it's you." Morgan replies…a slight smirk playing on his lips. I watch as he tries to hide his smile as he takes a bite of his own sandwich.

Two can play this little game.

"Garcia is going to start getting jealous if you keep making comments like that about Emily" I reply…with a slight smirk of my own.

I watch as Morgan chokes slightly on his sandwich. "What are you talking about?"

"Oh get off it Morgan. Did you think I would forget you answering Garcia's phone the other morning? I know the two of you are together. The question is how long has that been going on and why did you two feel like you had to keep it a secret? I mean…it's not like either one of you are subtle about being all flirty around each other or anything."

"I could say the same thing about you and Emily. And you're supposed to be with Will." Morgan quickly retorts.

"Well…I'm not with Will. I haven't been….actually I really never was. We're just roommates. We co-parent Henry…but that's it. And don't try to change the subject." I reply right back.

"You're not with Will? Damn…Sorry. I didn't know." Morgan quietly apologizes and glances back up at me…and then notices that I'm still waiting for a reply to my earlier question.

"Ok…ok. Look…Garcia and I have been seeing each other for a while. We just didn't make it 'official' or say anything to anyone else because of the whole rule against inter-office dating. Besides…neither one of us really wanted to jinx it." Morgan finally responded.

"You know I wouldn't have said anything…and from what I've gathered…Reid here figured it out a while ago and didn't say anything to anyone. I'm personally thrilled for you…and I'm sure Emily will be too. Just make sure that she doesn't hear about it from someone else accidently. I mean I can tell her…if you want. Or you or Garcia can…but if she finds out from someone else…it will probably hurt her feelings." I admit to Morgan.

"So…are you and Emily together?" Morgan quietly asks.

"I hope so. We haven't really talked about it…not really. We were going to try and start working on it…but then all of this happened." I reply…glancing up at her door.

"She loves you…you know that right? She has for a long time…so I'm sure it'll all work out" Morgan replies.

"Morgan's right. Anyone that's around her can tell that just by the way she looks at you. That's how I could knew what was going on too" Reid quietly replies. "It was the same thing with you and Garcia" Reid offers a small smile to Morgan before going back to eating…and avoiding Morgan's sideways glance.

"I know…and I love her too…more than I can possibly explain. I just hope she doesn't push me away thinking it's what's best for me…because it isn't and it never will be."

"Give her time…she's just in shock right now. As for telling her about Garcia…I'll talk to her. I know she'd be upset if she found that out from someone else. Do you think she'd want to see me right now?" Morgan tentatively asks.

"I honestly have no idea, Morgan. I can ask her…see what she says. But right now…she's so closed off…I honestly think if I weren't pushing so hard…she'd be keeping me out…and probably her kids too if we'd let her." I sadly admit…finishing off the last of my sandwich and coffee.

Guess I was hungrier than I thought. Now I need to figure out some time to shower and change clothes since I'm still wearing what I was wearing when this whole mess started. Maybe I can talk one of the guys or Garcia into going by Emily's and picking up my go bag or going by my place and picking up some clothes for me.

"Hey…I hate to ask you…but could I talk one of you guys…or maybe Garcia…into either going by Emily's place and picking up my go-bag or swinging by my place and picking up some fresh clothes and a few other things for me. I'd really like to shower and change out of what I'm wearing right now…but I don't want to leave here."

Morgan replies almost instantly "Absolutely. Just make a list of what you want picked up and where it is…and we'll go get it for you. You never have to worry about asking any of us for anything. We're here to help you both…for anything you need. Anytime. That's what family is for."

I reach in my purse…finding a pen and a piece of paper and write down a quick list of what I would like them to pick up and where they can find it…and hand it over to Morgan.

Reid picks up all of the trash from our early dinner and returns. I watch as the guys are standing…just getting ready to leave to pick up the stuff from my list when Dr. Hayes and Chloe walk out of Emily's room. They both stop immediately…wanting to hear the update before they leave.

I had nearly bumped into Dr. Hayes as I had my back to her watching Morgan and Reid start to leave before turning around to look back towards Emily's room…not expecting to find them both exiting the room…and nearly knocked the chart from the doctor's hand.

"Oh God…I'm sorry." I reply with a start.

"It's okay…I was just coming to find you anyway" Dr. Hayes offered a soft smile in response.

"Is everything okay? Oh…these are Agent's Morgan and Dr. Reid. This is Dr. Hayes and Chloe…Emily's new primary nurse." I introduce Morgan and Reid to the two of them…though Reid was already familiar with Dr. Hayes…and Morgan had briefly met her as well.

"Why don't we go into the waiting room where it's a little quieter…I'll go over a few things with you?" Dr. Hayes replied as more of a question. "Chloe…I can take it from here…"

"Nice to meet you…Agent Morgan…Dr. Reid…let me know if you need anything later JJ" Chloe responded before turning to walk back to the nursing station.

We followed Dr. Hayes into the empty waiting room and Dr. Hayes started speaking quietly "Emily gave me permission to provide you with some details regarding her medical information. I wanted to give you that information now…and you can provide those details to Chance and Summer when they return."

"You convinced her to share her medical information with us…that's great!" I replied.

"Some of it…there are still some things that she has advised I'm not allowed to disclose at this time. I hope she will allow me to disclose that information at a later time…but she is allowing me to disclose some information now" Dr. Hayes replied carefully.

"So she is allowing you to tell us some things…but not everything?" Morgan questioned cautiously.

"Well…technically…she advised me that I could disclose some information to JJ. But I know that she'll provide that information to Chance and Summer…and likely your team later…and it's not anything that you were not generally aware of previously anyway" Dr. Hayes tentatively replies.

"Okay…what's the update?" I quietly ask.

"Well…the scan that Emily had earlier looks promising. She did have some minor swelling which we are addressing with some medication. But…if she continues to progress as well as she has been…that shouldn't cause any lasting damage. The one caution I would add though is that as the swelling decreases…her memory issues will likely improve if haven't already. That is something that we all need to be aware of and keep an eye out for…as those memories could be traumatic and cause secondary issues to arise." Dr. Hayes starts…but Morgan interrupts.

"Like the state she was in when she came in? Those kinds of issues?"

"Hopefully not…but it's something to be aware of" Dr. Hayes replies cautiously.

"We have checked her fractured rib…and re-wrapped that. It was wrapped very tightly to begin with, but we were able to wrap it a little less tightly this time. That should allow her a little more flexibility and help with her breathing. She also has three severely bruised ribs…so she will need to be very cautious when she moves for the next few weeks. Provided she is cautious with her movements…all of that should heal without any further complication. In addition, if everything continues as it has been over the past few hours, she should be able to just continue on normal oxygen and eventually have her nasal cannula removed. Her oxygen levels have been stabilizing and her oxygen sats have been returning to a fairly normal level. At that point, we would just have her use a pulse oximeter to monitor her oxygen levels to ensure her levels are stable."

Dr. Hayes continues on…"We are also going to be able to change her temporary cast for a permanent one tomorrow…the swelling in her hand has decreased enough to allow for that change. I'll be trying to get that done early tomorrow. We've also provided her with a medication pump so that she can self-administer pain medication. She can take a dose of pain medication every four hours. She will be able to have another dose in about 3 hours. If she doesn't need the medication…she doesn't have to take it…but it is available to her whenever she needs it. If she's still in pain even after using it…we can readjust the dosage level for her. That will keep her from having to constantly ask for a new dose of the medicine. She won't be able to take too much…but allow for her to administer it when she needs it…and given the issues she's having with her throat…she won't need to swallow any pills either."

"Did you have any questions about any of that?" Dr. Hayes asks cautiously.

"What about her wounds…I know you were going to clean them and re-bandage them? Were they healing okay? Did you have any issues with any of those? And you didn't mention anything about the injuries to her face…I know you said nothing was broken…but was their anything that you could do….or that I can do…to help her with those?"

"The injuries to her face are just going to take some time to heal. There weren't fractures…just some minor cuts and severe bruising. I can provide you with some cleaning cloths and other materials if you would like to help her clean those…though I would advise to be very careful as they will be very painful to the touch. As for her other wounds…those she advised me I'm not able to discuss with you at this time." Dr. Hayes answered softly.

Damn it…she's still hiding from me. She's worried about my reaction to those injuries. At least she allowed the doctor to share some information with me…so that's a start. But I've got to figure out a way to get her to open up to me about the rest of it. I can't let her think that whatever those injuries are will scare me away. I don't give a damn what happened…what those injuries are or what they look like. All I want to do is help her. I want to make sure she recovers and if she keeps pushing me away…that won't happen.

"I understand you are doing the best you can…and I appreciate you sharing the information you did. If you could bring down the stuff that I need so that I can help her clean the injuries on her face…I'd appreciate it." I sadly reply.

"I will…and I'll check back with you all in a little while" Dr. Hayes replies as she turns and walks back towards the nursing station.

"Can you guys go pick up my stuff for me?" I look at Morgan and Reid.

I know they were going to ask me why I didn't push Dr. Hayes more about Emily's injuries or why she's keeping things from me…but I have to be careful how I handle this. If I push too hard…she'll start keeping everything from me again. I need to just figure out a way to prove to her that no matter what her injuries are…no matter how bad she thinks they are…I'm not going anywhere.

I watch as Morgan and Reid nod and walk out of the waiting room. I grab the few things left over from my impromptu early dinner and head back towards Emily's room.

I need to mentally prepare myself for how she might be when I walk through that door. She might be pretending everything is fine…or after what she's just been through…she might be falling apart. At this point…I don't know which one would scare me more.