A/N: Please note that other triggering content (self-harm and suicide will be discussed) throughout the story. Please be forewarned and take precautions if these are troubling for you.

A/N: Violence towards a primary character is mentioned/discussed in this chapter. Please be forewarned if that is troubling for you.

A/N: Thank you to everyone who has continued to read, post comments, and offer feedback on this story, as well as put up with the very long delay in getting this latest chapter up. The next couple of chapters may take a little bit of time as I am still trying to recover from COVID, and that is taking a little longer than I would prefer. That being said, as long as everyone is still interested in the story, I will continue to update as frequently as possible.

Thank you again for everyone who continues to comment on this story…The positive reviews definitely help keep me and my stubborn muse motivated…so keep them coming!

***More drama and more secrets revealed***

I hope you enjoy this latest chapter…Now on with the show!

"It is the false shame of fools to try to conceal wounds that have not healed." ~ Horace

"Don't let your wounds make you become someone you're not." ~ Demi Moore

Chapter 67

I look up and notice JJ is smiling at me.

"What?" I reply…almost nervously.

"I was just thinking about you and your kids. I can't wait until I am able to see you in a room with all of them…laughing and joking around…with me and Henry right by your side." JJ replies…with just a hint of sadness in her voice.

Now's my chance. I can tell by the tone in her voice that she's really missing Henry right now.

"Sweetheart…I know you miss Henry. Why don't you go spend the afternoon with him? Take him out for dinner…maybe take him home and tuck him in. Read him that story you always read to him when you're away on a case…Baby Star? The tests I'm going to have are going to take a long time and there is no reason for you to be pacing up and down these halls waiting on me when you could be spending time with him. The team is right across the hall. If anything happens…they know how to reach you. They aren't going anywhere. And I hate to see you so sad…thinking about him. I know you've never been away from him this long, and I don't want to be the reason why you aren't able to spend time with him."

"I'm not going to leave you here alone, Em. Will is looking after Henry…he'll be just fine." JJ replies…sadness still lingering in her voice.

"I'm sure he is fine, and that Will is doing a great job taking care of him. My point was that you aren't fine. You shouldn't have to choose between staying here waiting on me or spending time with your son. Your son should always come first. Besides, just like I told my kids…there's nothing that you'll be able to do but pace up and down the halls waiting on me. These tests are gonna take quite a while. Why waste that time worrying when you could be spending time with your son. I know you miss him. You've never been away from him this long. You haven't seen him since before we left on that case in California."

"Well…other things kinda happened that changed my plans."

"Those change of plans were because of me. If not for my issues and drama you would've already been able to see Henry. The last thing I would ever want is for you to regret spending time here when you could be spending it with him. Time with your kids is a precious commodity. Don't waste the time you have wandering around these halls waiting on me, when you can spend that time with him. Besides…it's not like I'll be alone. The team is right across the hall. They'll let you know if you need to come back for any reason. So I won't be alone. And it's not like you won't be coming back. I believe you now when you say you aren't going to run away from me. But you need a break from this place…we all do. I can't get outta here right now…but the rest of you can."

"I don't know about this, Em. Something about this doesn't feel right. Even with the team right across the hall. I don't like the idea of leaving this hospital without you. Maybe I can just have Will bring Henry here instead." JJ replies.

"No." I reply…a little faster than I probably should have.

Startled…JJ looks up quickly in my direction but I interrupt before she can say anything.

"Sorry…it's just…I don't want Henry to see me like this. And I don't think it's a good idea for him to spend any more time in a hospital than he has to. This isn't really a kid-friendly kind of place…ya know? You never know what he might hear or see." I quickly cover.

"You're sure that's all there is to it? It seemed like there was more to you not wanting me to bring him here." JJ asks. Probably her profiling skills kicking in…the ones she always claims she doesn't have but really does.

"Yeah…I'm sure. I was just thinking about him seeing me like I am now and I don't want to scare him. It's bad enough you and my kids have to look at me. I could give Henry nightmares for years if he saw me right now." I offer a laugh…though I'm unfortunately being quite truthful.

"I wish you'd stop saying things like that. You're beautiful." JJ replies…looking directly at me.

"You need glasses." I smirk.

"I don't need glasses…smartass. I just need you to see yourself the same way everyone else sees you. The way I see you. You take my breath away when I look at you. When I look into your eyes…I see the love of my life…the person I want to spend the rest of my life with…the person who holds the very key to my heart and soul. I hope you see the same thing when you look into my eyes.

The key…I remember Matthew talking about finding my way out of my own head was with a key…the one that JJ had the whole time.

"Yeah…I do. Even if it scares the Hell out of me." I reply…more honestly that I probably should have.

"Scares you…why?" JJ replies…sounding a little hurt by my earlier response.

Well, since I'm ass-deep into this conversation…may as well keep going.

"Because you've hurt me so many times before, JJ. I know you've said you won't hurt me again…and I know you truly believe that. And I know I haven't been completely up front with you about everything that's going on right now. But a big part of that is because I'm still waiting for the other shoe to drop…for you to decide it's just too much for you. That I'm too much…and just walk away. It's my way of protecting myself…at least for now. I'm trying to be as open and honest with you as I can…I really am. But part of me still has this overwhelming need to protect myself from being hurt too. Part of me is constantly worried that you might hear or see something that is too much for you…or I might say or do something that you can't handle or that scares you away…even though you've told me over and over again that's not going to happen. I know you believe nothing will ever cause you to leave me again…to change the way you feel about me…and I really hope that's true. Given everything that's happened and everything you've found out, I should believe it by now too. But it's just going to take me a little time to trust all of this is real. I just hope that you won't give up on me while I work through all of this."

"That's why you haven't let the doctors share everything with me yet? You're scared that once I hear everything…once I find out everything…it'll be too much and I'll walk away? That I'll decide that I can't do it anymore?"

"That's part of it…I guess. And I'm just not ready to talk about it…or even think about it…not yet. Not even with you. I can't stand to think that you already know so much about what happened…it kills me to even think about it. How you can stand there and say that I'm beautiful…knowing what you know."

"I understand that you don't want to talk about what happened right now. But sweetheart…you're going to need to talk about it at some point…or it will eat away at you. That's not good for you…it'll tear you up inside. As for me walking away…that isn't going to happen. I'm not giving up on you…on us…not ever. If it takes you a little more time to work through everything…that's fine. Just know that I'm still going to be here waiting for you. And as for what I know and what I see or think. What I see when I look at you is someone that is unbelievably strong, intelligent, funny, a little sarcastic, deeply hurt, but still beautiful…inside and out. What Lucas did to you is beyond horrible…but it doesn't change how I see you…and it never will. You will get through it. We'll get through it together. You just have to let me help you. I love you so much, Em."

"I love you too, JJ. Even if I'm not always the best at showing it. That's part of the reason why I want you to spend some time with Henry today. I can tell you miss him and I'm sure he misses you too. It'll be good for both of you to see each other. It's the least I can do since I'm the reason you haven't been able to spend any time with him for a while."

I see JJ start to say something…but I interrupt before she can.

"I know you're worried about leaving me…but the team is right across the hall. If anything happens…they can call you immediately. And I promise to call or text you as soon as I'm done with my tests. I'll call if it's early enough…but if it's later I'll text so I don't wake Henry. That way you can come back as soon as I get back to the room. You won't miss anything and you won't spend your time pacing the halls for hours just waiting on me."

"You promise you'll let me know the second you're done?" JJ asks…worry tinting her voice.

"Yeah…I promise the second I'm back here I will let you know."

"I guess I can check with Will and see if it's okay with him. But if I do leave for a little while…I'm going to let Garcia and Morgan and the rest of the team know so they can keep a close eye out and let me know if anything happens. And I'll let Dr. Hayes know how to reach me too."

I offer a slight smile in response "That's fine. Check with Will…see what he says."

I watch as JJ sends a text to Will and moments later receives a reply back. I see a smile form on her face as she looks up. "He said I can come over anytime…they're free all afternoon and evening."

Seeing a genuine smile on her face for the first time in a long time warms my heart. "Good…I'm glad. They'll be down to get me for my tests in a few minutes…so you can head out now if you want. Tell Henry I miss him and give him a big hug for me." I smile when I see a glimmer in her eye.

"Can I have one of those big hugs?"

I see where she's going with this.

I wave my tangled mess of wires and IV lines around rather dramatically before responding with a smirk "Kinda hard for me to actually hug anyone…something else I can do for you instead?"

"Can I think about that for just a sec?"

I see the playful glint in her beautiful blue eyes and a smirk cross her face as she leans in closer to me. "Or did you have something specific in mind?" she seductively whispers to me…as a huge smile spreads across her face.