Warns: Yaoi, Straight stuff, lemons, harems, genderswaps, Mpreg, OCC, AU, multi-crossover

Also, sue me on the summary, it's my ultimate weak spot now enjoy the story.

"Ichigo, wake up."

Ichigo ignored the voice as he forced the blanket tighter around him, the warmth of his cat that was lying against his stomach intoxicating.

"Ichigo, if you don't wake up, I'll tell Issei about your secret porn collection."

Ichigo opened one eye at what one of his childhood friends said to him. Weighing the chance of her bluffing or not before deciding what he would do.

"I'll even tell him that you're looking to start a harem."

"You wouldn't dare," Ichigo said, sitting up and glaring at Gudako. The red-headed teen was smiling mischievously at him. "I don't need Issei hounding me on a lie."

"Oh, so you like boys?" Gudako replied, sitting down on the cross-shaped blanket and petting Farris. The flax-haired cat awakened from its nap as it walked over to her to receive more. The purrs came from the cat, causing Ichigo to call him a traitor. "What type are you into? The big muscular kind? The feminine kind or the normal-looking type?"

"Gudako-sempai, I don't think that Kurosaki-san appreciates that," A voice said from across the room. The pink-haired girl walked over to his window to open it, letting in the fresh air from outside. Ichigo, almost forgetting where one of the siblings went, their quiet friend followed. "I don't think Kurosaki-san is into the same sex."

"Mash-chan no!" Gudako yelled, rushing over to the pink-haired girl, her glasses almost falling off as Gudako shook her. "Don't fall for his delinquent charms, Mash! You were supposed to be pure and be my lover, not his!"

Ichigo sighed as he watched the scene in front of him play out before interrupting. "Your brother downstairs?"

"Nope, he's sick at the moment," Gudako answered him with a sickly sweet smile on her face as she answered the question. He got the message she was sending him, don't ask about him.

"Okay, changing subjects. Can you guys get out of my room so I can change?" Ichigo asked, hoping that the redhead would leave to prepare for school now that he was awake.

Gudako's eyes shined at his question, her hands trailing over Mash's body as they rested under her breast. "Oh, is our little Ichigo finally waking up?" Gudako asked, grabbing Mash's breast as the cloth and flesh molded around her fingers. The pink-haired teen blushed as she bit her lip as Gudako tried getting a perverted reaction out of Ichigo.

"Quit it," Ichigo said, throwing his pillow at Gudako, watching as it traveled through the air missing its target and hitting Mash directly in the face. "Sorry, Mash."

"It's okay, Kurosaki-san, you get used to it when dealing with Gudako-sempai," Mash said, rubbing her nose, before grabbing Gudako by the arm. The redhead was surprised by the action. "Let's allow Kurosaki-san to change, or we'll be late for school."

"Fine, fine Mash-chan," Gudako said, raising her hand in a surrendering position. Her tongue stuck out at Ichigo in a teasing gesture as they both left his room. His cat was gone too, the sly animal likely leaving as soon as he stopped receiving attention from Gudako if he had to guess.

Standing up, he stretched, his muscles aching from the exorcise he did last night. His feet carried him over to his desk that had his clothes neatly folded on top off. Knowing that he didn't leave them there and usually left them in his closet. "Thanks, Mash," He whispered under his breath, knowing that the pink-haired girl was the one that likely put them on the desk for him.

"Ichigo, hurry up. We only got five minutes, or we'll be late!" Gudako yelled as she opened the door staring at Ichigo's half-naked figure. A grin formed on her face, and her cell phone flew into her hand to take a picture. "So how much do you think this picture would be worth to you, Ichigo? I know that it likely would go for a decent amount at Kuoh."

Ichigo stared as a hand appeared on Gudako's shoulder, fear in her eyes as an angry Mash pulled her away from the door and closed it. "Mash no!" He heard from the other side wondering if Mash succeeded in getting the phone away from Gudako.

Ichigo buttoned up his Kuoh Academy shirt as he listened to Gudako's pleas for mercy. A small chuckle left him as he finished dressing and grabbed his bag for school. Opening the door, he stared at Mash, who looked forsworn on her knees. "I'm sorry."

Ichigo blinked as he continued to stare down at Mash, confusion written on his face. The gears in his head worked to try and figure out what she was sorry about before it dawned on him. "You didn't get the phone."

"I'm sorry," Mash said again, gripping her shirt in anger at herself for failing.

A laugh echoed from downstairs, alerting both of them that the culprit was still inside of the house. He watched as a flame appeared in Mash's eyes, a newfound determination in them. "Don't worry, Kurosaki-san. I will make sure that she deletes the photo right away."

He watched as Mash ran off, running down the stairs of his house to catch the red-headed woman before she could leave. The door slammed shut, alerting him that Gudako was outside now.

The realization of what Gudako had on him was now slowly dawned on him as he gripped his bag tighter. His eyebrow twitched at the thought of being blackmailed by her, his body moving on instinct as he lept out the second-story window of his home. "Gudako!"

He saw the woman flinch as he yelled her name as she ran down the sidewalk to Kuoh. Mash was nowhere to be seen as he landed on his feet. "Delete the picture now!" He yelled as he started running towards her. Gudako began to run faster as he chased her.

"I'll split the profits with you, Ichigo! Think about how much money we can make!" Gudako yelled back at him, jumping over a fence to put an obstacle in between the two of them.

"You're not selling pictures of my body for money!" He yelled to her as he went around the fence, not wanting to risk getting caught on it and losing time.

"Move it, you two!" He yelled at both of Issei's perverted friends. The two of them quickly got the message and let him through as they moved out of the way. His mind promptly wondered where Issei was, knowing that the three of them usually were together on the walks to school.

The slight distraction almost caused him to run into someone. His body was automatically turning at the last second to avoid colliding with the pink-haired individual. Their pink eyes met with his brown as he continued off. "Sorry!" He yelled, not slowing down at all.

A grin formed on his face as he saw that Gudako was on her knees looking down in pain in front of someone. A bump seemingly formed on her head as the person chastised her. Mash oddly right next to her in the same position. His grin slowly vanished as his guts froze in fear at who they were kneeling in front of. His legs did not stop at all as he got closer to the man in front of the two, the fear causing him to continue running.

The man's hand hit him faster than he could react as he went falling to the ground next to Gudako, a small chuckle leaving her as he pushed himself up to his knees, staring up at the man.

"Fushiguro-sensei, I can explain," He said, earning himself another smack on his head. The man's green eyes were unmoving as he stared down at the three of them. "I was just trying to delete a picture off of her phone."

"Save it for someone who cares, Kurosaki. The three of you were causing a stir and had the misfortune of running into me," The man called Fushiguro said, not caring for any of the reasons they had for what they were doing. The bell-ringing alerted them all that they would be late to their first class. "Well, aren't you lucky today? Go."

"Thank you, Fushiguro-sensei!" Gudako and Mash said, bowing their heads towards the man as he walked off towards the gymnasium. Their sensei ignored the three of them now that they didn't have his attention.

Mash grabbed Gudako's phone as she rubbed at her head from where she got hit, the minor distraction granting them success in their mission. The pink hair girl deleted the picture as fast as possible to end the cat chase they went through. "Mash, why!"

"I told Kurosaki that I would delete the picture, and now it's done," Mash said, glaring at Gudako, who cried into her hands, muttering something about rolling and quarts. Confusion on his face before he decided to ignore the rambling of someone who's gone mad.

"Thanks, Mash," Ichigo said, happy that they got the picture deleted. "Have you seen Issei anywhere? He wasn't with Matsuda and Motohama on their way here when I passed them, so I'm curious if you saw him."

Ichigo watched as Mash pointed over to some bushes, the feeling of despair radiating in waves from it. Ichigo sighed as he looked at Gudako. "Is there any chance you can cheer him up, so he also isn't late for class?"

"Just tell him you want tips on how to start a harem?" Gudako said, knowing that would destroy Ichigo's peaceful school life. A brown set of hair peeked out from the bushes, a glint in his eyes at the mention of a harem.

"No-"

Ichigo couldn't finish speaking. A brown-haired blur rammed into his side, almost knocking the two of them over. His childhood friend grinned up at him at the idea of him starting a harem.

"I hear you're trying to start a harem, young Kurosaki," Issei said, striking a pose with both hands seemingly molesting the air in front of them. The other students gave them a wide breadth as they passed by. He could feel the rumors starting about him looking for a harem starting to circulate to his annoyance as he let out a groan of frustration. "Don't worry. I'll show you the way to becoming a harem king!"

Ichigo looked behind Issei as he talked about the ways of acquiring a harem, a box of chocolates and flowers smushed under students as they walked on top of them, uncaring of the items like they were trash. "Tell me about it at lunch?"

He watched as Issei's face brightened up at that, a perverted smile on his face as he elbowed Ichigo in the ribs. "Sure thing, buddy, I'll even show you all the peeping spots that I, Matsuda, and Motohama use, and even share any new ones we find with you. You'll be my second in command in no time, Ichigo!"

Ichigo didn't have time to respond to Issei. His two other friends called out for the pervert and ran off towards them. A sigh left Ichigo as another person elbowed his ribs, causing him to rub the spot that everyone chose to hit. His eyes caught Gudako, who was smiling at him. "What?"

"Nothing, it just seems you're soft with him, is all," Gudako stated, everyone, knowing that it was true. He was soft to his friend that he grew up with since he was little. "Why did you agree to hear him out? I thought you wanted a peaceful school life?"

"Sure is peaceful with you guys," Ichigo teased as they started walking to class. Pointing to the smashed chocolates and flowers on the ground near the bushes he was hiding in earlier. "He seemed to be feeling down after getting rejected by someone, if I had to guess."

"Wow, I didn't take you for the perspective kind in all the time I knew you," Gudako commented as they marched up the stairs to their classroom. The bell-ringing again forced the three of them to hurry up to class. The door closed as they got closer. Mash the first one in before Gudako and him also entered.

"You three barely made it."

"Sorry, Sōsuke-sensei, won't happen again." They all said in unison, making their way to their seats, wondering what else the day had in store for them.

So welcome to my new story. I'm finally touching DxD. My only problem with this story is whether I include Owari no Seraph characters or not. If you want to know what anime/mangas are included, just pm, and I'll tell you.