A/N 2023 new story version.

Hello friends! Welcome to the Remake/Rewrite version of "Naru x Naru: Love Is Comedy". First I must say that I'm really sorry for deleting my old story, but I have my reason. You may ask me why I even bother doing this Remake when the original version is already completed? Well, my answer to that would be that I had quite a few regrets and a few things I didn't like in the original version. This story has a very dear place in my heart, and I wish to make it as good as possible for me and everyone who reads it, and since I have the time now I am going to start it again from the scratch.

I'm going to make some changes in this new version. The story now will be a triple crossover of Naruto, Fairy Tail, and RWBY. Since DxD is already set in the modern world setting, I'm going to change it to another one of my favorite series, Fairy Tail. Lucy from the FT will be replacing Weiss as one of Naruto main love interests in the story. I had other plans for Weiss, and she is going to be paired with another of my favorite RWBY character. Naruko also will be a little bit lot nicer in the beginning (I noticed in the old version she was just a carbon copy of Kirino, who treated her brother like garbage from the start). Instead of using an oc female Sasuke (Satsuki/Luna) I will just take Blake's role as Kuroneko and fuse it with the Satsuki character since it fits the cat theme character. Now, Ruby will take Blake's place in the story and Fiona (the lovely sheep Faunus from RWBY) gets her place. But this time Fiona will still be a FEMALE, unlike Ruby from the old version (who I don't even bother to differentiate her from Yuri from Sayonara Piano Sonata). There are many more other things I'm going to change, some of you may like it or hate it, but I do hope you enjoy this new story.

Disclaimer.

The main idea of this fic was based on a fusion of several of my favorite lightnovels stories with Naruto and Naruko replacing the original protagonist's role as the main characters. Mostly I using "Ore no Imouto ga Konnani Kawaii Wake ga Nai'' and "Sayonara Piano Sonata", but I also use other lightnovels such as "Chuunibyou demo Koi ga Shitai!", "The Mozart Season", "The War With Grandpa", and "Yasei no last boss ga arawareta'' as extra.

I also going to replace the original cast of the lightnovels I used for this work with the characters from my favorite series (Naruto, RWBY, and Fairy Tail), so since I just remaking and mixing various lightnovels stories with my favorite characters, please don't give me the full credit for this work, thanks the original authors and the translators and if you can please support their original works. I am doing this just for fun, if you find this work is fun to read, that's great!

Title: Love is Just a Comedy.

Genres: Alternate Universe, Alternate Reality, Romance, Comedy, Music, High School, Slice of Life, Crossover.

The Main Characters of the Story:

01. Uzumaki Naruto (Naruto/Naruto)

02. Uzumaki Naruko (an OC based on female Naruto as a little sister)

03. Namikaze Lucy (Lucy/FT)

04. Belladonna Blake/Uchiha Satsuki (an OC based on a fusion of female Sasuke and RWBY Blake as one character)

05. Yang Xiao Long (Yang/RWBY)

06. Mikazuki Ruby (Ruby/RWBY)

07. Mavis Vermilion/Hikarikawa Mio (Mavis/FT)

08. Izumi Juvia (RWBY)

09. Uzumaki Erza (Erza/FT)

10. Fiona Thyme (Fiona/RWBY)

11. Hoshino Neo (Neopolitan/RWBY)

"As usual, there's a great woman behind every idiot." John Lennon

Chapter 1: The Pianist & Little Sister

With the windows of the train pushed up by just about five centimeters, the smell of the sea was already drifting in slowly. It was a Sunday afternoon, and there were no other passengers aboard other than me. There will be a lot of visitors heading down to the beach once it hits the summer holidays. But for now, which was early April, there was still quite some time to go before the beaches were available. Therefore, high school students might be the only ones who would be taking a trip to the beach during spring break - which included me.

The double-carriage train rumbled past a gentle turn. The walls of mountains and bamboo forests suddenly disappeared before my eyes, and my line of vision broadened, along with the increasing smell of the sea. The clusters of rooftops and the copper-rust colored sea were darkened under the gloomy sky. The train wobbled and stopped at a small station. I grabbed my backpack from the luggage rack. As I walked onto the open platform, I could immediately see a gray band between the dark green mountains on my right.

I have no idea when it all started, but the valley has turned into a huge dumping ground. I don't know if the dumping ground is legal or not but there are plenty of trucks from all over the place that come here to dispose broken electric appliances or furniture. As time goes by, that place became strangely silent. It was so quiet, it felt as though it was fifteen minutes after the apocalypse of the world - an enclosed space was thus formed. Recently I stumbled here by accident after being lost one day, I have secretly named this place The Department Store of Hearts' Desires.

My mother has a weird occupation as a music critic and due to that my house is filled with all sorts of sound systems, records, CDs, musical scores and other related items. The equipment in our house are tools of the trade, and yet my mother handles them carelessly. She breaks everything - be it the speakers, the turntable or the DVD player. Since there weren't many people who bought toys for me and my sister when we were kids, I resorted to dismantling the broken equipment, and slowly learned how to repair and assemble them. As of now, it's sort of like a half-hobby to me. Due to the needs of my hobby, I visit this Department Store of Hearts' Desires next to the beach once every two to three weeks by making my way down via the wobbling train to collect some useful parts. It feels like I am the only living person left in this world when I walk around the rubbish heap by myself, and that feeling itself is rather pleasant. However, I was not the only person to visit the dumping ground that day.

As I walked through the forest and made my way towards the valley, I saw a mountain made up of abandoned fridges and scrapped cars that were exposed to rain and shine. Surprisingly, I also heard the sound of a piano. I originally thought I was hearing things, but as I stepped out of the forest and took a look at the heap of rubbish right before my eyes, I realized I wasn't just hearing the sound of a piano. The low chords of the bassoon were like the surface of the calm seas and the sounds of the clarinet came to me soon after. I had no idea what the song was, but I have heard of it before. It's probably a piano concerto from nineteenth century France. But why could I hear it here?

I climbed up the roof of a derelict car, and began scaling up the rubbish heap. The melody of the piano turned into that of a march. I originally thought the sound of the piano came from a radio which still had some power left in it, but that thought vanished within seconds. The depth of the sound was not the same, it was definitely the sound of a piano played live. I looked at the basin after I reached the peak of the heaps, and the sight which greeted me was so shocking it made me hold my breath. A large grand piano was buried amid the cupboards and broken beds. Its lid was giving off a black glow, as though it was doused with water, and it expanded outwards like the wings of a bird. On the other side of the piano, was a bunch of golden hair that swayed along with the exquisite sounds of the instrument.

It's a girl. That girl was sitting in front of the slanted keyboard, with her gaze fixed on her hands, and her long eyelashes slightly drawn back. Those penetrating and exquisite sounds played by her were like the raindrops of late winter, bouncing out drop by drop from within the piano. I somehow recognized her face. Her stern and pale white face was something that was out of this world, and she was so beautiful that I could not shift my sight away from her. I've seen her somewhere before, but… why is that? I couldn't remember her name. As for the piece she was playing, I couldn't recall it either. There should be no one else around here either, so I should only be hearing the sounds from the piano as well as the gushes of waves that were filtered through the forest, so why? Why could I hear the sound of an orchestra?

I suddenly noticed that the piano beneath me was giving off a tremble and a slight sound whenever she played the low notes with force. Not just that, the bicycle that was buried within the rubble over there, the rusted metal container, the broken LCD screens, everything - they were all resonating along with the piano. The rubbish buried in the valley was singing. But those echoes stirred my memories of the orchestra that accompanied this tune. It's just my auditory hallucination, but it felt way too real. I do know that piece of music somehow, but what exactly was it? Why… did it touch my heart so much?

The allegro march was like a flurry of footsteps that flowed into the expansive estuary before dawn, which was the music at adagio. Countless tiny bubbles of notes flowed upwards from the depths of the sea onto the surface, and gradually spread outwards. Then, the sounds of the orchestra rang from afar again, and this time it should continue on steadily, but the music suddenly stopped. I held my breath, and looked downwards at the piano, while being stuck to the peak of the rubbish heap like a barnacle. The girl stopped playing the piano, and was looking at me with an extremely stern look. The hallucinated orchestra, the reverberation of the piano and even the sounds of the winds rustling through the trees - it had all disappeared, leading me to think for an instant that the apocalypse had really come.

"… How long have you been standing there?" She spoke. Her voice was clear like the shattering of a wine glass on the floor. She was angry.

I lost my footing, and slipped from the fridge that I was standing on.

"I am asking you, how long have you been standing there?"

"Huh, well…" I was finally able to breathe after squeezing my voice out. "Probably during the cadenza."

"The cadenza at the beginning?" She sprang upwards, and her soft golden hair fell down from her shoulders. It was only then when I realized she was wearing a black one piece dress.

"So you've been listening since the beginning?"

I couldn't help it, alright! What did you want me to do then? Do an Indian dance while yelling my lungs off for you to see? As I looked at her red face and her fluttering hair, I slowly regained my composure. I did nothing wrong, it was just that someone had arrived earlier than I did, right?

"To think you actually stalked me all the way out here!"

"Stalk? Hey, I'm just here to visit!"

The instant she slammed the key lid of the piano, there was something that resonated along with it. Then, the fridge that I was standing on gave a violent tremble. It tilted slightly, and I slid down along with it.

"Whoaaaaa!" I rolled away from the tilted fridge and the hood of the derelict car, towards the bottom of the basin where the piano was. My shoulders crashed into the leg of the piano.

"Ouch!" Just as I was about to stand up, I realized that her face was right before mine, and her brown eyes were gazing at me intently. I was shocked, and was unable to move. I could only stare at those lips of hers, which were gently quivering like the petals of camellia.

"Why are you here if you are not stalking me?" She knitted her brows. The mysterious magical powers that were binding me seemed to have weakened a little.

I finally managed to regain control of myself, and scooted backwards while still sitting on the ground. "I am here just to visit this place, I do come here recently. It's not like I am stalking you."

"… Really?"

"Why would I lie?" Then again, did this girl know that she may be stalked by someone?

"In any case, leave here immediately, and tell no one about my presence here. You are to remove the memories of the tune you had just heard from your mind as well."

"How is that possible!"

"You definitely. Cannot. Tell!" Her eyes were shimmering with tears, as though the stars were falling from the sky. Having witnessed that, I could no longer say anything else.

"I understand, I'll just scram, alright?" I heaved my backpack onto my shoulders, and began climbing up the rubbish heap. Then the cranking sounds of a machine suddenly came from behind me, and what followed were her screams of "Ah! Ya!" As I turned my head to take a look, I noticed a palm-sized tape recorder on the piano, and it was giving off a strange sound.

Could it be that she was actually recording this entire time? The tape inside seemed to be spinning back and forth. I couldn't bear seeing that worried look on her face as she grabbed onto the tape recorder any longer. I walked over and pressed the switch of the recorder.

"… Is… is it broken?" She asked with a voice that was close to tears, as she carefully lifted up the tape recorder and cupped it like an egg that was close to hatching.

"Ah, don't do that. You can't just pry open the recorder like that."

She hurriedly stopped herself from attempting to open the cover. I placed my backpack onto the piano, and took out a screwdriver. Her eyes widened as she saw that. "Are you dismantling it?"

"No worries, I'll repair it carefully." As I took the recorder from her hands, I realized that it was no ordinary recorder, but a double-track recorder and player. Not only can it play the A and B sides of the tape simultaneously, it can record on them separately as well. However, the labels on the recorder were printed with a language that I have never seen before, and it was obviously not English.

"What language is this?"

"Norwegian," she replied softly. European goods huh. Can I repair this?

As I unscrewed the screws and removed the outer casing, what appeared before me was an interior made with parts that I was familiar with. International standards are really useful.

"Can it… be repaired?"

"Probably."

I lowered the lid of the piano to use it as a worktable, and slowly began to disassemble the recorder. Just as I thought, the magnetic tape was pulled out of its cassette. It was spewed out and clustered into a bunch, just like how sea cucumbers spew out their organs, so it took me quite some effort to remove the cassette.

"Hey, is this tape recorder defective to begin with?"

"Eh? Ah, mmm… the tape will not stop spinning even if it reaches the end, so it will get even more entangled if you don't press the stop button."

I see, the automatic stopping device was already faulty.

"I-it's because of your sudden appearance that caused me to forget to press it."

So it's my fault again? Just buy a new one already.

"Is this important to you?" Since she's still using it despite it being faulty.

"Eh?" She looked at me in surprise, then lowered her head and said, "Yes."

I dug for parts from the rubbish heap, and finally completed the surgery of the recorder after finding the required parts. The tape recorder will no longer go out of control, whether it is rewinding the tape, or fast-forwarding.

"And it's done."

"Eh… ah, mmm."

Her face showed an expression of disbelief. I was about to press the play button to confirm if the recorder was working normally, but she suddenly snatched the recorder away from me.

"Y-you are not allowed to listen!" She tweaked the volume to its smallest, then pressed the play button to confirm if it was working properly. "… T-thanks." She hugged the tape recorder tightly, and thanked me with a tiny voice while hanging her head downwards, with her face flushed red. For some reason, I felt embarrassed as well, so I turned away and nodded. As we exchanged our glances, her face became red again, so she hurriedly turned her face away.

As I stared at her side profile, there was a sudden impulse to bombard her with multiple questions. Why are you here? Or rather… who are you? What was the title of the piece that you were playing? And also, I wanted to listen to what you had recorded, you know? Perhaps that orchestra which I had heard wasn't actually my hallucination? I thought of all those things, but she would probably get angry again if I was to actually ask her those questions.

She placed the recorder back onto the piano, then sat on a cupboard as a substitute for a chair and looked at her feet. I wanted to continue talking with her, but the atmosphere was no longer right, and I could not find an opportunity to speak.

Forget it, it felt like she was finding me troublesome anyway. I'll just head home for the day. I probably won't be meeting her again the next time I come here, right? Or perhaps she came here because there is no piano in her house? I thought of all those things while preparing myself to climb up the rubbish heap.

Just then, her voice came from behind me, "Hey…" I turned my head. She was fidgeting next to the piano. She didn't look angry this time round, but rather, she was blushing due to embarrassment. "D-do you live nearby?"

I tilted my head. "Nope. Takes about four hours to get here by train."

"Then are you heading to the station now?" She instantly showed an expression of relief the moment I nodded my head. She slung the recorder next to her waist, and began to scale the slope created by the huge rubbish by following behind me.

"Are you going back? Then I can just stay here, right?"

"You can't! Just move, go on!"

What's with that…?

I maneuvered past the bumpy heaps of rubbish unhappily, and slowly walked back towards the forest next to the valley. She kept complaining about how her feet hurt and how she was about to fall, but she still followed me all the way.

"Look…" I turned around and called out to her. She was startled, and fidgeted about three meters behind me.

"W-what?"

"Could it be that you have forgotten your way back?" Since her skin is a lot fairer than those of a typical Japanese person, it was really obvious when she blushed. Though she shook her head furiously, it seemed like I had hit the spot. I couldn't help but give a sigh. "Well, I was lost the first time I came here as well."

One single step in the wrong direction while on the path from the seaside to the station is all it takes for one to get lost.

"It's not my first time. I've probably been here three times already."

"So you still can't remember the route despite coming here three times…"

"I've already said that's not how it is!"

"Why don't you go back by yourself then?"

"Grrgh…" She gritted her teeth and glared at me. I had no choice but to cease arguing with her, and walked out of the forest quietly.

While on our way, I saw a purple colored truck passing by us, it's probably there to dump some thrash. The forest regained its deep silence as the truck went further away. The faint sounds of the truck, together with the sounds caused by the rubbing of tree branches, made me recall the rich ensemble of the piano concerto. That was indeed a stunning experience that made me breathless. However, that miracle probably wouldn't have happened if this girl didn't play the piano at such a special place.

I stole glances at her as I walked on ahead. Then again, where exactly did I see her before? Could she be a forgotten childhood friend of mine? Why else would she be so brazenly willful in front of me? That couldn't be, right? If I knew a girl who left such a deep impression on me, I would not have forgotten her.

After walking to the small town between the mountains and the sea that is filled with plenty of ramps and slopes, the cluster of houses suddenly came into sight along with the train station. Almost all of the decorative lights on the archway of the shopping street were no longer lit up, while the four story high building, which is a relic from the Shouwa era, had a Glico advertisement board on its roof. How very nostalgic. To the left, a sign with the JR logo as well as the station's name was hanging from the top of what looks like a prefab house. Aside from both of us, and a few stray cats that were scrounging for leftovers, there were no other moving things at the entrance of the soba shop.

"Here we are."

"I can see that."

That was all she said, before she rushed to the entrance of the station.

I stood blankly at my spot, and considered what I should do next, but I could not even call out her name. Couldn't help it. That was the first time I met her, and she asked me to forget all about her as well. I should just head back to collect some junk.

I turned away from her, and just as I was about to leave, someone spoke, "Hey you." The voice belonged to a middle-aged policeman, who was walking out of the small police station opposite to the bus rotary. Seemed like I was not the one he was referring to though. She was petrified, and timidly turned around. The policeman went up and asked, "Eh, ain't you Namikaze Lucy-san?"

"… Eh? Umm, well…" Her face was ghostly white from the shock.

"Ahh, I'm right. Even your clothes fit the description. Namikaze-san, your family's looking for you, right? Seems like you came somewhere around here the last time you ran away from home as well. In any case, follow me. I'll contact your family members."

A runaway girl huh? Seemed to be a repeat offender too, so it's best that I do not associate myself with her. Just as I resumed walking and went past the policeman, I could feel her staring at me, requesting for my help.

Dammit, I still noticed it in the end. It was as though her earnest and teary gaze was saying, "I'll hate you for life if you don't help me.'" Stop it, me. Ignore her! But it was all too late. I'm not fit to be a human being should I choose to walk away silently after seeing that gaze of hers.

"Hey!" Looking at the sweat-drenched back of the policeman, I spoke. He was about to take the girl back to the police station, and the expression on his face as he turned around seemed to be suggesting that he had only noticed my presence just now. "I think you have mistaken her for someone else. You see, this girl is my sister."

"Huh?" The policeman's expression became funny, as though he had accidentally chewed on a snail or something.

"Naruko, let's go quickly. We'll have to wait for a long time if we miss the incoming train."

"Ah, uh… yeah." She scooted away from the policeman as I gave him a nod, and together we briskly walked towards the train station. I didn't know if he understood what I had just said, but there's no point in sticking around either.

After purchasing the ticket and passing through the gates, we sneaked a peek at the direction of the bus rotary.

"Will that work… you'll play along with me if the policeman catches on to us, right?"

"I, I…" The girl held onto her ticket, and shifted her sight away from my face. "I didn't ask for your help, and I'm not your sister!"

"Fine, I'll just get the policeman then. It's not good to lie." The girl's face turned red, and she didn't speak a word. However, she slapped my back repeatedly. "Dammit… stop hitting me already! The next time you run away from home, choose a location where your parents won't find you!"

"That's not it! Things are not like what you think!"

So it seems like I was the one acting like a busybody. It couldn't be that she was actually hating me? Hey, I offered you help! She suppressed her anger, and shot a glare at me, then walked towards the platform that is linked to the Kudari line.

The opposite direction as me huh. I was slightly relieved, but felt a small sense of pity at the same time. Just then, the station played a tune that signifies the arrival of the train. It's a very familiar tune - Mozart's Twelve Variations on Ah vous dirai-je, Maman.

"Ah…" The bulb in my head lit up all of a sudden. I got it! I remembered who she was. Yeah, didn't the police officer say earlier that her name is Namikaze Lucy?

"Namikaze… Lucy?"

She was about to take the second step up the stairs, but she was so surprised she stopped in her tracks. As she turned around, her fair face was dyed red, and her pair of eyes were like the dark cloudy skies prior to a thunderous downpour.

No wonder I found her familiar, I had seen her on CD covers before, as well as on TV. She's the daughter of two famous Japanese and Norwegian musicians Namikaze Minato and Layla Heartfillia. A pianist prodigy who became the youngest winner of the International Piano Competition held in Europe, at just the young age of twelve. Her debut was met with a full house of applause as well. Namikaze Lucy. This mysterious girl had released quite a number of albums two and a half years ago, but she disappeared from the music scene at the age of fifteen. And now, this mysterious figure was right in front of me, grabbing onto the handrail with an expression close to crying.

"You… know me?" Her stuttering voice was nearly drowned by the railway crossing, but I still nodded my head slightly. Not only do I know her, I could even remember all the titles of the songs that she had released.

"Yeah, I do. That's because I have all your CDs, and-"

"Forget it all!"

"Eh?"

"Just, forget everything!"

I wanted to say something, but I could only see her running up the stairs, her golden hair fluttering behind her. Just then, the 'ding ding ding' sounds made during the lowering of barriers of the crossing came to my ears. For a while, all I did was stand in one spot in a dazed state.

"Hey!" a human voice rang from my side. I turned my head, and saw a silhouette on the platform opposite of me. We exchanged glances for a moment, and then she, Namikaze Lucy, swung her hands and threw something over. A red object flew over the tracks. I extended my hands in an attempt to catch it. It was a can of cola. The train drove in between us. She stepped onto the train, and it left the station after closing its doors, leaving me all by myself on the platform. The coke she gave me was still cold, so she probably bought it from the vending machine over there. Could she actually be treating this as a sort of thank you gift?

I've heard all her CDs, her works are the only ones that I will not get tired of listening to. In fact, even the track order has left a deep impression on me. I enjoyed seeking those unintentional glimpses of warm pulses amid that clear, steady and inanimate melody. Then I thought about the piece she played at the dumping ground, that piece should not be in any of her CDs, right? If I had heard of it from the CDs, then I would have definitely remembered it. What exactly did she face and encounter? She's not someone to play such a depressing tune. Her last words kept reverberating in my ears, "Just, forget everything!"

I grabbed onto the cola, and sat on a bench. That intriguing piano concerto and her voice echoed in my head, until my train arrived. That was what happened to me during the spring break before school began, that unbelievable coincidence.

When I returned home, I continuously played the Twelve Variations on Ah vous dirai-je, Maman recorded by Lucy in her CD. As I listened to it, I recalled the incidents of that day, and couldn't help but wonder if everything was just a dream. That's because there was no way those junks could resonate to a piano, and it's also impossible for them to give off the sound of an orchestra. The only evidence that could prove the reality of everything was the cola she gave me, which exploded on my face the instant I pulled open the tab.

Dammit, you really can't shake or throw carbonated drinks. After wiping my face clean with a piece of cloth, it felt like the only remaining sense of reality was gone as well. Even if she didn't want me to forget all that, I would have probably done so anyway. I am a busy man, and I can't even remember the dreams I had two days ago. At that time, I obviously had no idea that I'll reunite with that girl again under those situations.

A-Side ~ |[●▪▪●]| B-Side ~

When I returned home from school, my little sister was on her phone in the living room. My sister's name is Uzumaki Naruko. She has the same red hair as mine that she usually tied it into two pigtails with orange ribbons. Both her ears are pierced and her long fingernails are manicured to a glossy shine. Her face is attractive enough to turn heads just by itself, but she always makes sure to carefully apply her makeup. She carries herself with an air of maturity almost unseen in junior high school age. Her frame is tall and slender, but her figure is undoubtedly filled out in all the right places. If only she also had a knack for singing, she could have easily been a popular idol in the entertainment industry. I'm not just saying this because I'm her brother. My sister is truly refined. It's also not as if I want to portray her as the perfect sister.

My male friends often tell me they're jealous of me for having such a sister, and while I can understand where they're coming from, I really wish they wouldn't joke around like that. Honestly, I wonder if other people with sisters might understand my position. In reality, though, my sister isn't that great. Well, at least to me she isn't. Take this as an example: in a typical junior high school class, there are usually a few closely knit groups of friends. Within those groups, one group stands out as the most outstanding. This is the group with lots of remarkable characters - the popular student who gets along with everyone, the genius who's also quite handsome, and the incredibly cute girl, among others. Even within that outstanding group, one girl still stands out as the most refined, and that girl is my sister. She's the kind of person who lives in a different world, who you always hesitate before talking to, after all, she won't really be interested in what you're saying, right? She is the so-called "highest level girl." People might think that this sounds like a good thing, but she's the kind of girl who doesn't pair well with the average guy. Now, imagine being related to that kind of girl.

"I'm home." I decided to go for a rather polite greeting, but not only did she not respond, she didn't even glance in my direction.

Donning her sailor fuku uniform, Naruko was sunk into the sofa, her legs crossed under her very short skirt. She was on her phone with an amused expression, chuckling occasionally. "What? Seriously? Why'd he do that? Ahaha, what an idiot."

The true idiot is me, for trying to talk to you! Cursing mentally, I looked inside the refrigerator. I found a bottle of cola, and pouring it into a glass, I downed it in a single gulp. Feeling refreshed, I left the room.

"Uh-huh, uh-huh… alright. Let me change and I'll go right away."

It's already getting so late, but she's still going off somewhere? Well, in any case, it doesn't concern me. My heart murmuring, I went up the stairs. My home consists of a single house built with three stories. My family includes my sister and me, along with both our parents for a total of four people. We're a reasonably well off and wholly unremarkable household. My room and my sister's room are both on the second floor.

After relaxing in my room for a few minutes I went back downstairs. Before starting to study, I wanted to use the restroom. Incidentally, when I go down the stairs into the entryway, on my left hand side there is a door to the living room.

"Ah." Near the entrance, I bumped into my sister, who had also changed out of her uniform. There had always been a blind spot here in our house, so it wasn't unusual to bump into people here. My left shoulder lightly crashed into Naruko's chest. The impact itself was not very impressive, but in that instant my sister let go of her bag and its contents spilled onto the floor.

"Sorry." After my simple apology, I tried to reach down to the various cosmetic products that had spilled onto the floor, but… when she saw what I was doing, Naruko quickly swept my hand away with her open palm.

"Wha-" Looking back up, I was left speechless by the sharp glare I found waiting for me.

"It's okay. Don't touch it." Only saying that much, she began to quietly gather her spilled belongings by herself.

Whoa… she gave me a bad feeling there… is it that bad if I touch the stuff she was holding? I looked silently down at my sister as she expressionlessly picked up her things. An awkward tension filled the entryway. My sister turned her back on me, and hurriedly put on her shoes.

"I'm off, see you later," she muttered this like it was an annoying formality, and shut the front door with a bang. There you have it. This is what my relationship with my sister has become. Well, it's not like I was offended or anything.

Hah, since when has it been like this? I had the feeling that, even for her, there was once a time when it wasn't like this at all. Well, whatever. Whatever. It's a bit irritating, but whatever.

After taking a piss and washing my hands, I dove straight into the sofa in our living room. Picking up one of my Rolling Stone magazines scattered about, I lie on my back with my legs crossed. Wasn't I supposed to start studying? Lying down like that, flipping through and staring intently at the magazine, my mood was filled with an extreme emptiness. This isn't the time to be doing this! My brain was yelling at me, but my extreme sluggishness prevented me from listening to reason.

Ahh… dammit. I really don't want to study. This type of emptiness is probably pretty common for us high school students. Shaking my head like a dog that had its face splashed with water, I finally rose to my feet. Leaving the living room and entering the hallway, I spotted a strange-looking thing.

Huh? It was lying behind the shoebox in our entryway. I hadn't noticed it before, but now I could see half of a white thin case in the gap between the shoebox and the wall. Well honestly, my curiosity was just another way to procrastinate. As "I don't want to study, I don't want to study," repeats in my head, my brain is constantly trying to find a reason to keep me from studying. Even if doing something like just picking up this strange object only really takes a few seconds. It's really all the fault of the lazy haze I'm in right now.

I dragged out the object from behind the shoebox. What the hell is this? It was definitely not something that I would expect to find in this house. This is… well… what? I held the case between my fingers and took a good look at it, but I still wasn't sure what it was. It was definitely a DVD case. I knew that much. I've seen these types of cases often at video rental stores… well also, "DVD" was clearly written on the case. But, the contents of that case I could make neither heads nor tails of. I'm sure my facial expression right then was one of puzzled suspicion. On the DVD cover, there was an outrageous drawing of a winged girl with an orange theme.

There is so much orange in this girl… l continued to inspect the case like some detective examining evidence. It wasn't just the character; the entire DVD package had plenty of black and orange. Well, that much is fine. But the problem is… what's with this get up? This winged girl was wrapped in an orange costume. She wears a short orange dress with matching arm garters and a leg garter on her right thigh, along with a choker around her neck. Her gloves are black and reach to her wrists. Her boots are black with orange laces and end just below her knees. She has black lace lining the top of her dress and the top and bottom of her arm garters, leg garter, and her choker. Her choker has a small bird pendant dangling from it and one of her wings has an orange ribbon tied around it with a bell. In the upper half of the package, what was probably the title was written in a very round font.

Zodiac Angel… Lucifiel…? First time… limited edition? What's this? I could go on and on picking out small details, but in short, this was obviously a mahou shoujo anime. I might have been initially confused because I hadn't seen something like this in a long time.

Then… why is something like this here? I held this "Zodiac Angel Lucifiel" thing with both hands and stood still in the entryway. Suddenly, the front door to the house swiftly opened right in front of me.

"I'm home… huh, why are you rolled up like that in the entryway?"

"D-don't worry about it, Mom. I just wanted a change of pace."

Too close! I thought my social life was going down the toilet! But she wasn't mistaken. The instant the door opened, I fell to the floor and rolled up, hiding what I was holding.

Phew… I made it just in time, didn't I? Although I don't know the culprit, maybe this was a trap set for me. If someone witnessed me holding something like this, I would be the laughingstock of the family. I could already imagine Mom's disdainful stare, as if she was looking at a pile of garbage.

Mom, holding a few bags of groceries, looked down at me sympathetically. "You know, I heard from one of the neighbors. Mental counseling for students is pretty popular nowadays."

"W-wait. Don't be rash. I'm not insane. It's just… today I studied a bit too much, I guess."

"What a lie. There's no way you would stress yourself out so much over studying, is there?"

Ah, even my mother is saying such things to me. Have more confidence in your own son, will you?

"It's not like that. My grades are plenty decent, you know?"

"But that's because of Erza-chan, right? Having such a talented cousin tutoring you, how exactly can you be patting yourself on the back like that? When have you ever liked studying by yourself?"

Dammit, she hit the bulls-eye with that one, and I couldn't respond. After all, up to five minutes ago I was lounging around reading a magazine.

Crawling along the floor like a worm, I hid "Lucifiel" underneath my shirt and tried to escape from that place. Behind my retreating back, my mother called out. "Naruto? I don't mind that much, but in the future, please try not to read your ero books in the entryway."

Dammit, how depressing. Then again, it's to be expected that Mom would guess such things by how strangely I was acting. After all, she had once cleaned my room and accidentally unearthed my secret Icha-Icha collection. But this time, the thing I was hiding did not have such kind of meaning.

Carefully letting my mother walk past, I held the DVD to my chest like a rugby player would hold a ball, and ran up the stairs. Flying into my room, I shut the door, and finally let out a sigh. I slowly took the article out from underneath my shirt, and held it carefully in my right hand. Using my left hand, I wiped the cold sweat off my face. Mission complete. Really, though, I'm used to doing things like this. I won't go into the reasons, but I believe that any healthy high school student would be able to sympathize.

I ended up bringing it up here, didn't I? Squinting at this "Lucifiel" thing in my hands, I grumbled. Well, it can't be helped. If, in the middle of my excuses for not studying, I had suddenly gone "Hey, here's this thing I've also been hiding from you," then I'm sure that would have attracted unwanted interest.

My examination studying time having been cut short by such unavoidable circumstances, I began my inspection of the thing in earnest. My room is six tatami large. There's a bed and a desk. Reference books, manga, CD, music magazines, etc are stored on my bookshelves. And I also have a closet. My carpet was colored orange, and my window curtains were blue. On my room wall, there are some posters of FC Barcelona and The Beatle hanging on it. Other than that, there is a small mini-computer, CD Player, Radio, and audio system. Also, I had already pretty much given up hiding my ero books, so they were being stored in cardboard boxes under my bed. I had once begged my mother, kowtowing to her on the floor, to never clean under my bed. But, I have no reason to believe that she would honor such an agreement, and even if she were checking my collection every so often, I had no way of knowing.

Ugh, I don't even want to think about it! My pride really wouldn't be able to handle that. But at least my collection was not that risqué, so that even if my parents discovered my books this wouldn't lead to a family crisis. That's the best defense plan as far as I can tell. I wonder how people without their own private room try to hide things like this… but, in any case, I've never really thought of anything but leaving my door open. I guess it would be pretty spoiled of me, to be troubled by not having a lock on my door. For a few seconds, I mulled over these thoughts.

Then, I sat on the bed and crossed my legs. I took the DVD case in one hand, and rested my chin in the other hand. The more I look at it, the more out of place this thing seems… bathed in the light of a fluorescent lamp, Lucifiel's smile sparkled as she raised her majestic sword.

Hm… well then… who exactly does this belong to? In turn, I went through all the other people in the Uzumaki household. As I thought, there was nobody who I would expect to own such a thing as this "Zodiac Angel Lucifiel." And, I don't remember ever seeing this DVD being played on the television in our living room. So… what do I make of this? Why was something like this lying there? While I continued my musings, I opened up the case with a click.

Wha-!? I was more puzzled than ever. Much more intensely puzzled than when I had been just looking at the cover. In short, there was no "Lucifiel" DVD inside the DVD case. In its place, there was some other DVD. I guess this kind of stuff happens a lot. For example, after listening to CDs on my CD Player, putting each CD back into their matching case is such a bother that I often end up shuffling them around. But then, I soon have no idea what CD is in which case, and chaos ensues. This is probably what the owner of the "Lucifiel" DVD did; the owner probably put in the DVD, not really caring whether it was the right DVD or not.

Ahh, I understand now. This stuff happens often, after all. But… uhh… why is the title of this DVD "Loving my Little Sister"? What the hell are you trying to get someone to do? And what's with this quaint little "R-18" label?

Calm down! Beads of cold sweat gathered on my forehead, and my breathing became ragged. This was bad. This was really bad. I thought about what could have happened in that little scene back there with my mother if she had found this. If I was discovered with this, I would probably have to kill myself. Is this really some sort of trick someone's trying to play on me? I might not deal with this kind of thing often, but my instincts were letting off loud warning bells in my head. What was this dark aura emitting from this title!? Even without the R18 label, the title itself is plenty! The more I thought about it, the more I knew that this was something I definitely could not continue to hold onto…

"Naruto… are you studying properly?"

"Ahhhhhhhhhh!" Giving out an agonizing cry, I dove under my futon. Peeking out towards the door, I saw my mother looking dumbfounded at my strange behavior.

"What the heck are you doing?"

"D-don't worry about it Mom. It was just speaking practice… but please, please knock next time!"

"I see, I'll be sure to do that from now on." With a forced smile and a knowing expression, Mom left and shut the door.

No good… it's a good thing I managed to hide this thing at the last second, but Mom definitely has the wrong idea now…

Dammit. Today has been such a terrible day… and all the blame is on this thing. Still under my futon covers, I stared at the puzzling DVD case.

Dammit… at this rate, I have to find the owner; I won't be able to live in peace until I do that. I burned with angry determination to find the culprit. But… there's too much I don't know. That is, there's too much I don't know about the owner of this bizarre DVD. The owner of this "Zodiac Angel Lucifiel" case, in which there was this very suspiciously titled "Loving my Little Sister" thing. If I had to make a prediction, I'd probably guess that whoever owned "Lucifiel" was the same person who owned "Loving my Little Sister." And, considering I discovered this article behind our family's shoebox, there was a high probability that the owner was someone in my family - either me, my sister, my mother, or my father. Of course, it's not as if outside people never went in and out of our house, so I can't completely reject the possibility that someone outside our family is the owner. But seriously… who would deliberately come to our house and drop "Loving my Little Sister" in a "Zodiac Angel Lucifiel" case behind our shoebox? I can't even imagine how that would happen.

Well, for the time being, I feel it would be useless to consider the possibility of an outside owner. For now, let's try to wring the identity of the culprit out from inside the family. Me, my sister, my mother, and my father… out of these four people, one is supposedly the culprit. Objectively speaking, which one is the most suspicious…? "Zodiac Angel Lucifiel and "Loving my Little Sister (18)," who would be the most likely owner of these things…?

Well, the answer would be me, and that's annoying. No, no, no. Of course it's not me! But certainly, I guess that I would be the most likely suspect. Man, saying that about myself makes me kind of sad. But that thing obviously isn't mine. Because I really am not that interested in anime. There are a few people in my class who would talk about anime, but we rarely talked about it. But, I mean, I could say the same for all the other members of my family… concluding that, I held my head under my arms, troubled.

Ok. Well, it can't be my mother, right? And I don't think my father too. Plus, just to imagine seeing Dad merrily watching mahou shoujo anime gives me the chills. And my sister… well, she was the first one I had excluded. About five years ago, she may have watched stuff like mahou shoujo anime, but lately she's only been into mainstream dramas and music programs, right? Such childish anime is definitely quite far from Naruko's hobbies and interests. No matter what, I can't possibly imagine her going so far as buying this "Lucifiel" DVD and then watching it. And, as for "Loving my Little Sister," even thinking she would do that would be repulsive. So, could it possibly be Naruko? The popular junior high school girl? Just today even, there's no mistaking that she went out to hang out with her friends…

I give up. I'm beyond stumped. My ship of reason had finally run aground. As I thought, the culprit couldn't be in my family, but if I expand the sphere of suspicion to include people outside of the household, there would be so many people to consider that I would surely make no progress. This is useless. I guess I really am not cut out to be a detective.

Well then, what now? This is so annoying… maybe I should just give up? No… as I thought, I can't erase this from my mind. I will definitely find the person responsible.

It was strange, but I had become unusually determined. The usual me would have stopped this investigation right now, and then would have taken a nap until dinner. And, if I had done that, the peaceful life that I had before now would have continued. But, that didn't happen. With purpose, I had decided not to give up the search. Of course, at this point I didn't know why I felt this way, but for better or for worse, I was determined now to be the decider of my own fate. In this case, I decided to go and tread on a huge landmine.