Disclaimer:

Mrs. J.K., No matter what, I always seem to return to your sandbox, I admit it is much more fun in here, I play for free of course.

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When I lie in my bed, I wondered: "I hope it was entertaining enough for the ROB."

2 Starting trouble is easy, getting out of trouble is hard.

The next morning I woke up early, a residue from my time with the Dursleys no doubt, after a shower I took stock of my wardrobe. My school robes are kind of alright, the rest of my clothes… I better call them rags, totally not acceptable! It was as if Petunia saved the worst outfits for me. This has to change or I will never get any respect from my peers. It has to do for now until I find a solution, which will be as fast as possible.

We firsties gathered in the common room, Granger already claimed her territory, meaning the library and all books in her close proximity, the girls are in the majority, with the addition of Daphne, Tracey, and Hermione, the tally came up to seven girls. Us poor blokes are outnumbered, almost two to one. Our prefect, Penny Clearwater, a fine piece of ass, totally wasted on that ginger ponce Percy in my opinion, guided us to breakfast, along the way she pointed recognizable landmarks out to find our way back to the nest.

At our table... At all the tables, last night's sorting was the main topic, my reputation was set, the Boy-Who-Lived became the Boy-Who-Sorted. My friends, Lisa, Daphne, and Tracey posted themselves next to me, my other friends Megan and Zack produced Yellow sparks and got Puffed. Anyway, the girls took most of the heat away from me by explaining how they learned to cast those sparks.

Lisa commented: "It is quite easy really, raise your wand in the air and will the spell to come out."

Penny shook her head: "Normally it is not that easy Miss Turpin, a lot of first years have trouble in the first months to cast their spells and only find the way to cast spells close to Christmas. That everyone could cast those sparks is unheard of."

Tracey shrugged: "Harry showed us how to cast it, we got it right under twenty minutes, it wasn't that hard to learn."

Flitwick heard the last sentence and said: "Nevertheless, it was a fine piece of Magic and an achievement that will be talked about for years. The fact that Hogwarts approved of your sorting made it even more special. Here are your class schedules, and a map of the castle, all the classrooms are marked. Mister Potter, the Headmaster wants to speak to you after breakfast."

Hmm, I must avoid that old bastard at all costs, at least the first month, I have to create a diversion… ah! The pathetic story of my life will do, the abused child Hero will melt everyone's heart. I just have to lure the conversation in the right direction.

"Alright Professor, will you be present for that talk? You are my head of House, that makes you my Magic Guardian here isn't it?" yeah, I asked that with an innocent face, can you believe it?

Flitwick shook his head: "I am not your Magical Guardian, Mr. Potter, I believe it is the Headmaster that is responsible for your well-being."

I shrugged: "Then I will pass meeting him, sir, if he is the bastard that dropped me on my aunt's doorstep in a basket with a letter, I would rather learn a lethal spell first, do you happen to know a good one, sir?"

Flitwick was puzzled: "What do you mean with dropped on the doorstep, Mr. Potter?"

By now I got everyone's attention, I talked a bit louder: "Well sir, on the night of the first to the second of November, someone put me in a basket and dropped me on the doorstep of my aunt's house at night. She found me the next morning half frozen, it was an exceptionally cold November that year."

I looked the little bugger in the eyes and continued: "How do I know that you ask? My uncle used to mock me with it, he said they dumped me on their doorstep like the trash I am. So if that Headmaster is the one who did that to me, I'll be searching for another school, sir."

I stood up and asked out loud: "Can someone point me to a good lawyer? I need a good one."

Several hands raised into the air, a pink-haired Puff even shouted: "My dad will do it even for free!"

Hmm? Pink? That would be Tonks, the bint that is going to shag the wolf, a total waste of first-class pussy if you ask me. I never liked that wolf, to begin with.

I sat back down and said to Flitwick: "I spend my life working like a slave for those bastards, I had to wear my cousin's worst casts-offs, had to sleep in the cupboard under the stairs until I got that Hogwarts letter, you can understand I am not very fond of the people that dropped me off there, sir."

My voice was loud enough to be heard through the Hall, a very silent Hall.

I continued: "I slaved for ten years, not a word from you guys, not a single letter, with every bout of accidental Magic I got beat up and had to spend two to three days in my cupboard on water and a few slices of bread."

I glared at the head table: "Imagine my surprise that when I entered the Leaky Cauldron you welcomed me as the savior of the Wizarding world. If this is how you treat your heroes, I fear how you treat your villains, sir."

That will stir the place up, with just the right amount of drama and hardship. I bet that Dumbledore didn't expect a defiant teenager, usually, these kids are ashamed to admit those facts, too bad my mind is not from a kid anymore… or am I? I am doing stuff that I normally would never do.

Where was I? Ah, spouting nonsense. Flitwick said: "I will reschedule the meeting and get to the bottom of this Mr. Potter. You are part of one of the most important families in the country. This needs investigation, getting legal representation is a good start."

I would say he strode to the head table, but as a half-goblin, it was kind of funny to watch. Not laughing though, a dueling champion isn't someone you want to piss off.

Daphne softly said: "The father of the pink-haired Puff is a good lawyer, my father is using his services in the muggle world."

"Thank you, Daphne, I think I will follow your advice." I smiled at her and said: "Stepping in your compartment was my best idea of the year."

Buttering up at the purebloods is always a good strategy, it cost a few fancy words, and you get plenty in return. Not to forget I have to cause a lot of mayhem to please ROB. After breakfast, we left for the nest to get our books, following Penelope's fine ass up the stairs.

Hermione was next to me and asked: "Why didn't the teachers in your school report it to the authorities, Harry? My teachers reported a lot of bullies to their parents, if they found out you are abused at home they have to report their suspicion."

I shrugged: "Some did, a few days later they got transferred to another school. I stopped asking for help when I noticed it."

In this reality, it seems that Dumbledore meddled a lot in my life up to now. I have to stop it somehow. What is our first class… bloody fuck! Double potions with the Puffs to start with? I groaned, I avoided one asshole and walked into another… that sounded better in my head.

Xxxxx

Penny guided us to the dungeon and warned us: "Professor Snape is really strict, be polite and do your best, he is very harsh for overachievers and show-offs."

The Puffs arrived, guided by their prefect, Zack, and Neville came to me, while Megan visited Daphne, Tracey, and Lisa.

Zack grinned at me: "You have the talent to stir up a doxy nest, Harry. Be honest, did you know we were going to be sorted by a singing hat? That was too close to be a coincidence, don't you think?"

"Ask no questions and I won't tell you lies, Zacharias. Did you see the faces of the upper years when our robes got their House colors? Lisa's sister almost got a stroke." I smirked, "I bet we get into the history books with it."

Neville commented: "We got a lot of respect with that stunt of yours, Harry, thank you for that, we got more respect when they found out we didn't use the correct spell for the sparks."

I held my hand up and stopped him: "Hold it, Neville! We used the correct Spell for those Sparks. Tell me, if you raise your wand and shout Yellow Sparks, and the Yellow Sparks come out. Doesn't it mean it is the correct Spell for it? There could be a dozen spells that do exactly the same thing. I say our Spell was the right one for us. Don't let them tell you otherwise. I bet the Japanese don't use a Latin spell for their Sparks either."

Zack agreed: "That is right Neville, if the spell works, then it is the right spell."

The door opened and a cold voice said: "Get in."

Oooh, so bossy, no, I better lay low for a bit. We paired up, who do I sit with… Neville or Hermione, are going to be the secondary targets of Snape, ah they are sitting together? Bloody hell, I waited too long, there is no one left to pair up with. Meh, I'll fly solo.

I unpacked my crappy gear, Lord knows where Hagrid got it from, parchment and quill out and I am ready to make a mess. If you never used a quill, you get ink stains all over your body. Now, will the bat follow Canon, or use a different approach? His opening lines are not promising.

Snape looked up at my name: "Ah, Harry Potter, our new Celebrity, I hope you don't expect special treatment from me."

"No, sir, I know that the Professors are expected to treat everyone equally. Only incompetent teachers are having favorites or bully the ones they don't like." I answered. Hah! Try to bully me now, fuck face!

Snape's face looked like he sucked on a sour lemon, he recuperated with "10 points from Ravenclaw for your cheek, Potter. Let us hear how well you are prepared for this class, what would I get if I added powdered root of asphodel to an infusion of wormwood?"

I shook my head: "I don't know, professor."

Snape sneered at me: "Fame isn't everything it seems. Let's try another one, where can I find a Bezoar?"

I closed my eyes and tilted my head up a little, as you know it is the famous thinking pose, and answered: "I am not sure, but muggle mythology says it is in the stomach of a goat. It is supposed to help against poisons. Is that correct, sir?"

Snape glared at me: "We are not here to discuss muggle fantasies, Potter. You better get rid of your arrogance, you are much like your father, he too was extremely arrogant, and too lazy to open his books in advance."

I glared at the bat: "Well, I wouldn't know about that, sir, he died ten years ago, so I have no memories of my parents. And Petunia locked my books away when I returned from Diagon Alley, this is the first time I have had a chance to open them. So would you please stop trying to embarrass me, if you had issues with my parents, go yell at their graves."

This is a good rant, if I say so myself, I admit I practiced on them and have several versions ready for this occasion. I got the man speechless, that is my opportunity to pour more dirt into the wound.

"Talking about Muggles, the flower language state that asphodel and wormwood combined, means that you are regretting someone's absence, or guilty for their absence. Were you responsible for their death, Sir?"

I admit, that was below the belt, sassing my dead dad was below the belt too, that makes us even. Snape came to his senses and roared: "A 100 points from Ravenclaw! Class dismissed! Get out!"

The room was cleared in record time, once outside, Daphne asked: "What was that all about?"

Bullshit time! "I heard my aunt ranting about that Snape kid that corrupted her sister, the way he was pushing my buttons indicated he had a grudge against my parents. I pushed back. Hey, why don't we explore the castle? We have two hours before the next class."

"A hundred points! We are getting in so much trouble because of you, we can get expelled because of you! You got me kicked out of my first Magic class ever!" complained Hermione.

"Relax Hermione, I bet there is a big library in this school somewhere, why don't you search for it?" I said while patting her back, "I bet they have awesome spell books."

Hermione raised her head at my comment and took off like a bloodhound on a fresh track. Neville mumbled about checking out the greenhouses, which left us with the original six.

Zack commented: "That was fun, we didn't even complete roll call. He was acting like an ass though, insulting a dead man in front of his son is simply not done. Duels are fought for less."

"Make a formal complaint of that insult, Harry. That was a direct attack against your house and reputation. It was also very unprofessional behavior against a first-year student." commented Daphne.

Tracey added: "Let's go to the library, no, an empty classroom, and write a letter to the DMLE, we ask Susan to send it to her aunt."

"That is a good idea, while you are at it, get your other grievances out too, like your abuse from your relatives, and neglect of your Magical Guardian," said Zack

Megan added her two knuts and said: "Make a copy and send it to the Daily Prophet, that makes it harder to cover up."

"If you can add your memories, that would make a bigger impression, I can do it for you as a witness." offered Lisa, "Grace taught me how to do that when I said I saw her boyfriend cheating on her."

Finding Susan took longer than writing the letter, Lisa taught me how to extract copies of my memories, and Susan's owl took off with a bunch of them. Zack used his owl to send the letter to the Daily Garbage. All in all, not a bad start for our first day in school.

"Thank you, Susan, I owe you a big favor." I smiled at her, "You can ask anything, if it is in my power then I will do it."

Susan blushed: "There is one thing I can think of, Harry. The upper years told us that we used the wrong spell for those Sparks, can you explain how we got them to work for us?"

"That is simple, Susan, we use bastard Latin to name our spells, do people in Africa, China, Japan, or India use bastard Latin? No, they use other words. The name of the spell helps you visualize the spell in your mind, so it is easier to cast. Once you are convinced that Yellow Sparks is the name of that Spell, it is harder to do that spell with another name."

I looked at her and asked: "Does that make sense?"

Susan nodded: "It does, but the fact that we learned that spell so fast, why is that?"

"It was your eagerness to learn it," I explained, "So you could go to the House you wanted. Your intent to do that spell guided your Magic on the right course. As I told Neville, force your Magic to do your bidding."

That was one of the ways I read in Fan fiction to explain it. Is it true? Who cares, it worked for the Sparks, maybe it works for the rest. The others were soaking the knowledge up like a cactus after a rain shower. At least they learned something this morning.

Xxxxx

Our next class is History, taught by the most boring Ghost in Wizarding History. You can call him the ghostly variant of a sleeping spell. We were paired with the Puffs again. After a few minutes, I noticed that lazy bum is reciting the book word for word, that is another useless class.

To sass the Ghost, I started to recite the book too, only a few words in advance. When the kids saw me reading from the book, they groaned. Getting taught by a Ghost should be special instead of mind-numbing and soporific.

"They could have used a parrot for his job," I commented, "It would keep us awake with that funny voice, and prettier to look at too."

At lunch, the rumor mill turned on full force, Potter lost 110 Points in Snape's class in the first five minutes, that must be a record!

Penelope sat next to me and asked: "Why didn't you listen to my advice, Mr Potter? I warned you he is strict and harsh."

"He acted like an arse, Miss Clearwater, he insulted my father, a man that is dead for ten years, a man that died to protect me. So excuse me for standing up for myself." I answered, "No, don't excuse me, I would do it again and worse if he dares to insult my Father in front of me."

Penny sighed: "Be careful, Mr. Potter, he can be a nasty enemy, and the headmaster is protecting him. A lot of students complained about him, and nothing changed."

I shrugged: "They are lovers I suppose, why else would he keep that twat employed. I don't judge, as long they don't hinder my education."

Was I loud enough? Yep, based on the various expressions of disgust, a lot of students heard me. It must be the age difference that caused the disgust.

Grace Turpin, the Head girl took a seat in front of me, and said: "A 110 points in your first lesson, Mr Potter? Do you want us to lose the House Cup?"

"I don't know, what do we gain from winning it?" I asked

"At the feast at the end of the year, the Great Hall will be decorated with our colors, and declared our victory," she answered.

"Oh? Do you get bonus grades? Is it mentioned on your resume? Does it help you to get a better job?" I asked again,

She looked embarrassed: "No, it is for the honor to win the cup only."

"Ah, I see, who won the previous years?" that would be interesting to find out.

Grace said; "Slytherin won eight years in a row, we want to break that winning streak."

I chuckled: "Miss Turpin, I am here for one day, and even I can tell you that Slytherin will always win that cup when Snape is around. Do you want to bet on it?"

Grace sighed: "No, that would be a suckers bet."

"So why do you care about losing points if it has no other use than to fill an hourglass with blue bubbles? Does it motivate us to do our best when we know Snape is cheating the system? He can take 10 000 points from me for all I care. We all know the outcome is fixed, there is no honor in winning that cup at all."

I know, and all of that on the first day, ROB must be laughing his ass off by now. Am I going too fast? Maybe I am, I find it important to get Dumbledore off my case, ten years in a cupboard is unforgivable in my book. My comment got the other houses talking, even the Slytherins, Snape is giving them the reputation of being cheaters. Cunning means to cheat without being noticed, Snape ruins it with that obvious bias to their House.

In the afternoon we got Herbology with Sprout, after two hours we were all covered in dragon dung, except Neville and Megan, our vegetable specialists. When the class ended, they could not help but look smug at us.

I pointed my wand to myself and said: "CLEAN!" yeah, dragon dung smells like dragon shit, it motivated me to get rid of it all. It worked though, it removed all the dirt and dung from my body. Suddenly I am surrounded by girls with scary looks in their eyes.

Daphne spoke up: "You are going to teach us that spell if you know what is good for you, Potter. You know that we can make your life miserable if we want to."

Lisa protested: "Daphne! That is too heavy-handed! Harry will teach us the spell if we ask it nicely."

Daphne shook her head: "Nope, Lisa, this is too important. I smell like SHIT! Harry has the spell and I NEED that spell!"

That made the rest of the girls add their comments in agreement, dragon dung is the kind that sticks on the body and is hard to get rid of.

I held my hands up: "Alright, I get it, although Lisa was right you know, you don't have to treat me with corporeal punishment for that, Daphne, you scared me out of my skin."

"This spell is an easy one," I started, "point your wand to your body and imagine spelling all the dirt away from your body. I call it Clean because it cleans my body and clothes. I will the Magic through my wand and shape the spell with my intent. I want to have a clean body, and my Magic is making it so. Now do it!"

Daphne was the first to succeed, she was the most motivated to get cleaned up, no wonder, she had dung all over her body, even in her hair.

I came closer and sniffed: "Did you imagine the smell to go away too?"

She screamed, stamped her feet on the ground, and started all over again. The girls were spic and span by the time for dinner, clean as a whistle, shining brightly, not stinking at all.

When we sat down at the table, some of the boys still had the smell on them, which was unacceptable for the girls and exposed their new spell to the rest of the Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff table. When the seniors asked where that spell came from everyone pointed at me.

I protested: "Daphne forced me to do it! She was going to make my life miserable!"

Susan spoke up: "We are glad that she forced you, Harry, if not her, we would. That spell is worth hurting you for a bit."

Zack whispered: "Girls are scary, mate."

Xxxxx

In our common room, we made our homework, a foot of the benefits of using dragon dung. To spend the rest of the evening, I read a book about household spells. My spell was described as Sanitato with some fancy wand movements. Meh, my way is better.

Flitwick came into the common room: "Mr. Potter, the headmaster wants to see you."