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Mrs. J.K., As usual, all yours, nothing mine… also, as usual, I am typing for free.

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I patted his back: "Tonight, dear brother-in-law, I will give you: The Talk. Believe me, you will never be the same man as before."

I stood up and said: "The fun is over, The Cat girl is here to escort me to Saruman the White."

9 True colors.

Hermione frowned: "I think you meant Gandalf The Grey, Harry. Saruman turned evil."

"Exactly, Hermione," I shot back, "Although in this case, I had to say Dumbledore The Rainbow, but that would put the Gay community in a bad light. Yes, I am coming, professor, I will skip dessert for this Very Important Meeting, although, doesn't the Headmaster have to do his speech? I can eat my apple pie until then."

"Come along Mr. Potter," Said McGonagall, "I want to have a few words with you in advance."

Along the way, she began to berate me: "You behaved completely irresponsibly today, Mr. Potter, you put yourself in real danger by heading off alone, you had us all worried sick."

"We spent all day looking for you and feared the worst," she raged on, "expect a month of detention for this."

Wtf? Who the fuck does she think she is? My Grandma?… in several Fan Fiction she is actually his Gran, I better ask it first before I wax her ears. Nah, I'll wait until I have them all together, anyway, this was Ron & Harry's Excellent Adventure! Nothing can take that away from us! Crap they can! Obliviate and you remember a boring train ride, bummer.

At the headmaster's office, Minnie was still pissed off, I let my eyes wander over the place and spotted the Phoenix, looking at it closely, it is kind of a cross between a peacock and a turkey with red and gold feathers. Curiously I took a closer look, his? Her? Eyes were bright, there was intelligence in it.

"So," I asked, "You can carry heavy loads, with your tail… what if someone doesn't want to come along? Does it pull your tail feather off? Oh! I bet Olivander did that to you! I have a wand with a piece of your ass.'

"MR POTTER!" came an angry voice from behind, "Leave Fawkes be! Come here and stand before the desk.'

Whut? Are we in the nineteenth century? Yeah, I guess their mentality is stuck there, that Scottish woman is getting on my nerves, I was told Scottish girls were hot and sassy, this one however is frigid and stiff.

Finally, Saruman and Sourpuss came into the office. His power play is impressive, calmly he took place behind his desk, while Snape acted as a bad cop and strode past me and took position to the side, his angry face activated.

"Harry, my boy," he said while he put his elbows on his desk and put a hand under his shin, "We have a lot to discuss today."

"I agree," I cut him off, "Did you notify the DMLE already? When are they coming?"

"No, my boy, we did not," he said puzzled, "there is no need to call them in, why would you ask that?"

"Well it is illegal to invade someone else mind, and that is what Snape did when I arrived at the castle. A few years in Azkaban I am told."

"Professor Snape, Harry, I am sure you were mistaken, my boy, there is no need to disturb the DMLE with minor details."

"That is not what the jeweler said to me when he sold me this necklace, Headmaster, he said invading the mind of a minor is at least two years in Azkaban, he said that the necklace will heat up and kick the invader out." I looked at Snape, "And that is exactly what happened, a lot of students witnessed it. So, when are you going to call the DMLE? Sir? I for one would be happy to see him gone, and three-quarters of Hogwarts students hope it as well."

"You insufferable brat! I have you expelled for this!" raged Snape, "You are as arrogant and pampered as your father!"

I pointed with my thumb to Snape while looking at Dumbledore: "And that is why I want him gone. My dad is Dead for eleven years, and he is taking his revenge on me. Everyone hates that bully, no, Neville is scared to death of him. And to be honest sir, even a donkey would be a better teacher than him."

"Surely you are exaggerating, my boy, Professor Snape is the youngest Potion Master of this century, I have complete faith in his skills." tried Dumbledore to calm me down. "we are not here to discuss Professor Snape, but to talk about what you did today. You were supposed to be on the train, and Mr. Weasley came to the castle hours before you. We have been searching for you all day. Where have you been, my boy?"

"Sir? Why are you calling me my boy? You are calling Ron Mr. Weasley. Are you a relative of me?" As I tried to divert his attention.

"No, my boy, but I consider you like a grandchild, one I never had of my own." he chuckled.

"Well Grandpa, then it is a good thing that you never had grandchildren because you suck as a grandpa. Please call me Mr. Potter from now on sir."

"MR POTTER! Why I never heard something so disrespectful in my life!" you better apologize at once! Shouted McGonagall.

I glared at her: "You never heard worse? Well, I did! They called me freak or boy for years! I learned my name on the first day of elementary school! During the beatings I got from Uncle Vernon there was, worthless creep, and useless little shit. Do you want to hear some more bad words? Well, I call the shit faces that dropped me off on a doorstep in the freezing cold at night, assholes, criminals, vicious bandits, for dropping me in that hell hole! So no, I won't apologize!" the last sentences I almost screamed into their stunned faces.

"You must have known how I was treated there, my letter was addressed to the cupboard under the stairs." I said to McGonagall "I suffered ten years of starvation and abuse, and nobody cared. So why on earth would you care now? You didn't do shit before, and I don't give a shit now."

I turned to Dumbledore: "I paid a visit to Gringotts and had some illuminating conversations with my new and old account managers. Did you know they employ curse breakers, sir? Well, they did find plenty of curses on me, most of them were cast by you. They gave me a box of potions to correct my body to what it is supposed to be. Oh, by the way, Blooddagger is my Guardian for the Gringotts business. They are quite angry at you, sir."

I turned and walked out the door, I had to hurry before they get their wits back online. Meh, I have enough dirt on them to get them off my back. Throwing a tantrum is a risk, but the accusations I made were spot on and cut in some nerves, it made McGonagall speechless, and it made Grandpa blush.

Xxxxx

Ron and Hermione were waiting for me, I crawled through the portrait… Bloody Ravenclaws have a door ffs! Griffindors are getting shafted in my opinion.

I commented: "Those other founders must have hated Godrick, they let his students crawl on hands and knees at least two times a day. It is humiliating if you ask me."

It didn't stop Hermione to fire her questions though: "What did the Headmaster say? Are you going to be expelled? Are you punished, Harry? You did explain it did you?…"

I held my hand up: "Future Mrs. Potter, as a prospected spouse you are allowed to question me. However, give your Future Husband the chance to bloody answer them!"

I sighed: "Hermione, I limit you to two questions, then you wait for an answer, is that ok?" I softly said "I did not get punished, I told them that they didn't care for ten years about me, so they don't need to start now. That is all that I want to say about it tonight, perhaps later, ok?"

"Ok, but stop teasing me with that Future Mrs. Potter," she said, "It is not funny."

I shrugged: "Think about it Hermione, you are my best friend, so there is a chance that we end up getting married. Or you could marry Ron, Neville, or Dean? It will take years before you know who you are in love with."

I stretched: "Well, I am off to bed. I'm tired it was a long day."

Crap, I have to share the room with that rat. I'll do something about it tomorrow.

Xxxxx

The next morning I woke up early and waited for Ginny to come down. When she saw me, her face lit up, and she came to sit next to me.

"Hello future Mrs. Potter," I said, "did you sleep well? I have a few gifts for you if that is alright. You see, as a friend of mine, you will draw the attention to yourself. Well, there are people that can read your thoughts and memories. Snape can do that, I found out yesterday."

I turned serious: "When he looks into your eyes, there is a high chance he is reading your mind. Think about it, he can see the memory when you look in the mirror after a shower. Sitting on the toilet, telling your deepest secrets to your best friend." I presented a necklace, "I bought this for my friends, it prevents mind reading and heat up when someone wants to invade your mind. There are a lot of cursed objects that can do that you know. Here, let me put it on. I have one for Hermione too."

Yeah, I better tell that upfront or she is browsing through the bride catalog.

"I also bought some book bags for us, here is yours, I hope you like unicorns, the inside is expanded, and weightless, so you can haul everything with you to class." I looked up, "Hey, good morning love… too soon? Never matter, here is a gift for you, a new book bag. With a kneazle on it, I bet you like cats."

Hermione studied the bag: "You didn't have to do that, Harry,"

"Ah but I did honey," I grinned, "Consider it an early birthday. I saw those bags in the Alley yesterday, and I bought two for Ron and Future Mrs. Potter, as a thank-you for saving me from the Dursleys, I could not let that pass to buy you one too. After all, you are more important than Ron to me, you don't snore. Yep, that is a game-breaker. Besides, you gave me my first-ever hug, at least one that I can remember."

That is sappy enough? Now I have to con the necklace on her. I better wait a bit, the common room was filling up and the first people were crawling through the portrait.

"Hey!" I exclaimed, "Godrick was not a fool after all! He let us crawl so we can look at the girls' butt when we crawl behind them! Go Godrick! My Hero!"

All the girl's heads snapped to me and looked shocked, I shrugged, "Why else do we crawl on hands and knees through a portrait? Was it so hard to make a door? Now we can admire the females' anatomy up close."

I heard a voice: "George bloody Weasley! Don't you dare look to up my skirt or I'll hex your bits off!"

"He is Fred, I tell you! Stay away from my bits, Angelina!" came from behind.

"No way! I was supposed to be George today Fred!… hey! I am supposed to look up Angelina's skirt today! It was my tur… I'll shut up now."

One of the twins whispered in my ear: "Harrikins, you will regret what you said in a few years, now they will pay attention to who is behind them. Us blokes are not happy with you at the moment."

I whispered back: "They will forget all about it by the time I am interested in that kind of stuff, so I'm good."

Hermione slapped her book bag at me: "I will remind them of it pervert! Now, on your hands and knees in front of me."

Xxxxx

Ron overslept and came in late for breakfast, he complained: "Why didn't you wake me mate?"

I shrugged: "Well for one, I am your mate, not your Mommy, I woke you up, and your turned around and slept further. You are a big boy, and I am not your babysitter."

With a sour face, McGonagall handed the schedules out, no comments? I must have struck a nerve last night. Not that I care about it, my rant was solely to get the attention away from my actions yesterday.

"Oh, no! Ginny, my dear, I fear I am going to lose Hermione's affection today! My competition is the brightest smile! Three times in a row! The perfect smile, the trimmed hair! The sparkle on his teeth… how can a low life like me compare against all that?"

Ginny comforted me: "You are a Hero too, Harry, everyone knows that.'

I shook my head and sighed: "Alas, I even killed the angry dragon and saved that village, it can't win against that smile. Even taming that Nundu, when I was six years old, is not enough, I must admit defeat, that perfect hair and the sparkle on those teeth is a killer combination."

Ginny patted my arm: "I won't stray my knight, you still have me."

I grinned: "She will come crawling back, and I will be right behind her." Bad joke! That pat on my arm became a stomp. "Not funny, Harry!"

"Ok, ok, you are right, sorry Hermione, but I must warn you, Lockhart is a complete twat."

"You can't say something like that, Harry! Look at all the things he has done!" she protested, "read his books and you know how skilled he is."

"Girl, you are lining yourself up for a very big I Told You So! If you keep on believing everything you read in books." meh, what do I care, he will probably focus on the Newt students to shag.

Here is ERROL! That poor owl flew in with a red letter right to… Me? Wtf?

"HARRY POTTER! HOW COULD YOU WANDER ALL DAY IN THE STREE…" That was as far as she got, my incendo burned the letter prematurely.

I looked at Percy and cooly said: "Percy? Can you remind your mother that I am not her son, and I hate to be humiliated in front of all the students. If she can't write a normal letter, then she better not write one at all."

I stood up and left the Hall, stupid bint, stay a week at her house and she thinks she can control me? If it wasn't for that fucking Basilisk and Tom Riddle, I would not even pay attention to Ginny, no, I would hound Greengrass and Davis, or Turpin. Although Turpin is a claw, the two others are snakes… I'll hog the Basilisk for myself this time. At the first wizengamot session, which is in two weeks, I'll be basilisk Hunting again.

I'm going to drive Dumbledore crazy, who said I can't make friends with a Ghost? Was it this bathroom Hermione was crying in? I will visit Myrtle every day, twice, that alert charm will drive him mad.

Xxxxx

Sigh, what is Lockhart's favorite color? Who the fuck cares?

What is his greatest wish? To kill something himself for a change.

I could not take it anymore and ripped the questionnaire into pieces, stood up, and left the room. Ok, I am still a bit upset with that howler. Dealing with idiots is not my forte. Maybe because I am one myself… probably.

At lunch, McGonagall came to our table: "Mr. Potter, why did you leave Professor Lockhart's class today? It is mandatory to attend all classes, twenty points from Gryffindor, and don't let it happen again."

"Professor McGonagall, questions like what is your favorite color? Or your greatest wish? If you find these questions appropriate for a Dada class, then I have to find a better school. I read his books, in the year he spent with that yeti, he banished that Banshee in Ireland and fought with a Werewolf in Albania, on top of that, he did two book sign sessions and three interviews in Teen Witch Weekly. That man is a fraud. My parents didn't pay for this kind of education."

I looked at her and said: "Read his books, Professor, if you can point me to one working spell, except for his grooming spells, then I will attend his classes without protest. More, I bet ten Galleons you can't find one working spell to vanquish the monsters he claimed to have killed."

"Ah," I said, "It is almost nap time, oh no, it's History class." I joked, "Then two hours of getting insulted and humiliated. This is almost a perfect day."

"Twenty points from Gryffindor and a week detention with me, Mr. Potter. Mind your tongue. You are here to learn not to run your mouth off on every occasion."

I looked into her eyes, shook my head, and ate my sandwich, that woman is hopeless.

Did you know that staying awake in Bin's class is an achievement? Only Hermione paid full attention, the rest had a glazy look in their eyes, at least the ones that didn't sleep.

If you put it together, Flying lessons, Dada, Potions, History, next year add Divination, Muggle studies, and care for creatures, that are seven worthless classes, I wonder if I can learn French, they have Veela at Beaubatons.

Ron got his book bag, he was moderately pleased with it, I think he rather wanted a new broom. When I presented him with a bracelet to prevent mind reading, he refused. "I am not that interesting mate, who wants to read my mind anyway?"

I shrugged: "Snape, for example, he can sift through your memories at will. See for yourself, look in his eyes, and think very hard what a wanker he is."

That lesson cost Griffindor fifty points. Ron silently accepted the bracelet. Meh, I could not care less. I decided to be a rebel. I want to question everything and protest all the injustice.

Xxxxx

"Myrtle? Hello?" I shouted out loud, "Are you in today, or are you piped?" bad joke again? It is not my day today.

Myrtle rushed out of her toilet, flooding the floor, yuck. "What is a boy doing here? This is a girls-only bathroom!"

"Oh? Are there mixed bathrooms? Where?" I eagerly asked.

"The prefects' bathroom is mixed, boy, you have to be in your fifth year and have a prefects badge."

"Ah, is that so." I went outside, turned around, and went back in, "Myrtle? What do you do for fun around here?"

"I travel through the pipes," she answered.

She started giggling, at my fifth time going in and out of the bathroom, "So you know there is an alert for boys at the door. Dumbledore sometimes comes rushing in if a Slytherin boy enters this bathroom."

"That is good to know, see you tomorrow, Myrtle. I have detention in a minute."

To rile a teacher up, you can do two things, be a jackass in his or her class, or completely ignore her. That is not my experience speaking, I heard some of my friends complain about it… yes, I have friends, not many I admit… bite me.

The teacher usually takes revenge and lets the student do the most mind-numbing task there is... Writing lines. Two hours I must mind my manners. Well, it wasn't with a blood quill, that is a plus.

Xxxxx

Back in our common room, I dropped down next to Hermione: "Hermione? Is your favorite color Pink? No? Blue? Red? Lilac? Green! No? Rainbow! Aah! You are a Gothic! So it is Black!"

I grinned: "Sorry Hermione, take this necklace, I gave Ginny one too, Ron has a bracelet. It protects against mind magic, like confundus spells, and warns against potions too."

"Do you really think I need one, Harry?" she asked.

"Snape used a mind spell on me yesterday, Hermione, my necklace got hot and when it kicked him out of my head his head jerked backward, so yes you need it," I explained.

I found some disturbing things out yesterday at Gringotts, Hermione," I softly said, "I asked for a curse breaker to examine my scar, they discovered a multitude of problems on me. My scar had very dark Magic in it, that should have been removed eleven years ago. My Magic was blocked twice, once by my parents, which should have been removed at seven or eight years old, and a nasty block, cast by Dumbledore when I was five or six years old. That bastard knew my home situation, and that fuck didn't do shit about it."

"Language, Harry!" said Hermione.

"Sod it, Hermione, did you know that I was happy to work around the house when I was five years old? It was that, or sitting in my cupboard in the dark. They put a light in it so I could do my homework in there. So excuse my swearwords if I talk about the asshole that put me there."

Hermione hugged me with tears in her eyes: "Oh Harry! That is horrible! And Dumbledore put you there? Did nobody say something?"

"A few teachers did, they got transferred to another school. And it all comes to one man, Dumbledore."

I sighed, "Enough about the sad stuff, Hermione? Are those boobs you are pressing against me? Hmm, soft."

"Stop trying to embarrass me you prick," she said while she kept hugging me, "I need this hug as much as you do."

"We are two lonely creatures aren't we?" I softly said, "desperately looking for something or someone to care about, and then when we have it, we are afraid to lose it, so we do everything possible to keep it, even if we deep down know it is wrong to hang on."

With her head still at my neck, she asked: "Who are you talking about?"

"Ron," I answered "he is a friend, but last year he wasn't exactly easy to be around, he is rude to you, even if he doesn't mean to hurt your feelings, his rude comments are just doing that. He was the very first friend I got, funny, he was the first person that sat in my compartment, if Lavender or Parvati would have been in that compartment, I would have latched at them, and been their friend."

"Are we still friends, Harry?" she asked, "I am bossy, always asking too many questions, if not for that Troll, would we became friends?"

I rubbed her back, "We are friends now, Hermione, Ron is still my friend too, maybe we stick together until we graduate, or we drift apart and get other friends. Or, we get more friends, we don't have to be exclusive, we can be friends with Padma Patil, or Susan Bones, Hannah Abbot, Neville, some Slytherins even."

"You forgot Ginny, you were teasing her a lot yesterday and this morning, is there a reason for that?" she asked.

I shrugged: "At the Burrow, she was starstruck by me, she could not say a word if I as much friendly looked at her, she freaked out and ran to her room. So last night I got her out of her shell. She is quite funny isn't she?"

Hermione released her death grip and looked me in the eyes: "So, is she your future Mrs. Potter?"

"Ask me that in five or six years, Hermione, it might as well be you, or I could marry you both. That is possible too."

"How could that be possible, Harry, that is against the law." protested Hermione. "Are you serious?"

I showed my rings: "I am the heir to two very old Houses, the most Ancient and Most Noble Houses of Potter and Black, it seems we go back to the Romans and Greek. Black is rumored to date back to Egypt. Wizarding law allows a wife for every house, to keep the line separated. My account manager explained it to me. That or the wife has to bare four boys, they say an Heir and a Spare for each. Keep the Black Heir a secret for now please."

I shrugged: "It might not come to that, the Lord Black is still alive, he is in Azkaban for the moment, but he might sire some offspring. Hey! Didn't we say we skip the serious stuff? What do you think about your book bag? Quite handy isn't it?"

"It is the best gift ever, Harry!" she sheered, "I carry all my school books and equipment in it, and it weighs practically nothing at all!"

It is nice if you have someone to talk to.

Xxxxx

The next day, the Daily Prophet headlined

New Management for your trusty Newspaper!

Dear readers, yesterday Gringotts notified us that a group of Heirs that wants to remain anonymous managed to acquire a majority of shares of this newspaper. Currently, they possess 56% of the shares in their joint governance. To reassure our readers, they expressed that their policy will stay the same as before, namely to report the truth, or at least as close as possible to the truth.