TRUTH AND CONSEQUENCES

CHAPTER 3:

DEADLY SINS

Luna had an uncanny knack for saying the wrong things at the wrong time. Thankfully, she also had the knack of saying them in just the right way that, instead of taking offence, people's brains tended to shut down in protest rather than take umbrage.

A case in point was shortly after they arrived in Liore, and, to a bunch of people singing the praises of Father Cornello, Luna said, upon looking at the massive cathedral, that he was compensating for something. Thankfully, Harry and the Elrics managed to hold onto their laughter until they were well out of earshot of the bemused citizens, including one Rosé Thomas, a silly girl who wholeheartedly believed that her devotion to the god Leto and Father Cornello would mean her brother could be brought back from the dead.

Harry was reminded a little of Ginny Weasley and her single-minded devotion to him. Letting her down had not been easy by any means. At least they managed to remain friends afterwards.

Luna and Harry decided to explore on their own, while the Elric brothers did some investigating. Well, it was more like Luna decided, as was her wont, to go somewhere, and Harry followed. The Lovegood family in general tended to have very unconventional ideas of what defined danger. It was partly this that led to the death of Luna's mother. It was what led to Luna going through the Veil in the first place, albeit once they confirmed that it wouldn't definitely end in the death of the traverser.

So it was to Harry's utter lack of surprise that they ended up in a chamber in the cathedral with a pair of people who just screamed bad news at him. He didn't even wonder how he got into this situation. Between Luna's unerring tendency to track down danger, and Harry's luck, it was probably inevitable.

One looked like a cartoon caricature of an obese man, with a lump for a nose, barely defined eyes and mouth, and dressed in black coveralls. The other was, as Luna would put it later, 'a sexual goddess', with luscious black hair framing a cruelly beautiful face, and violet eyes with pupils that were slits, like those of a cat or a reptile. The woman was dressed in a slinky black dress, complete with opera gloves, and above her cleavage was a tattoo of an Ouroboros.

"Look, Lust! Intruders!" the fat one said in a vaguely childish tone.

"I can see that, Gluttony," the woman purred, albeit with a slightly exasperated, long-suffering edge to her sultry voice.

"Can I eat them, please, Lust?" Gluttony demanded.

"No, you can't." Lust glared at them. "You know, this could be considered trespassing."

"It's a church, a public building, isn't it?" Luna asked blithely. "Rather nice building, too. Must've been expensive to build." She went over and licked the wall(1). "Hmm. Good year, if not exactly vintage."

Lust blinked at her, before turning her attention to Harry. "What are you two doing here?"

"Luna goes where she wants," Harry said. "I just get swept along in the wake."

Luna skipped merrily over to Lust, and peered at her cleavage, or rather, just above it. "Ooh, same as Bradley had. Probably a less painful area for a tattoo than an eye, though." She then skipped over to Gluttony, and said, "Say 'ah'."

Gluttony obliged, and Harry saw the same Ouroboros tattoo on his tongue. "So, we have eye, tongue, and cleavage," Luna said. "Ooh, maybe someone's got it tattooed on their…"

"Luna! I don't want to have to Obliviate myself if you say anything further," Harry said.

The young woman pouted. Lust recovered herself, and said, "I'll ask again, what are you doing?"

"This," Luna said, grabbing Lust's head and kissing her deeply. Harry gaped as the blonde kissed the black-haired woman rather passionately. Then, she broke it off, and grinned. "Tasted like peppermint," she confided to Harry in a stage whisper.

"Luna, please stop pissing off the mysterious people, one of whom seems to be a cannibal."

"Harry, he's not a cannibal, he's an omnivore. He will eat anything. Including people."

"…Still makes him a cannibal."

Gluttony peered at Lust. "What's a cannibal, Lust?"

The buxom woman was merely looking at Harry, torn between a glare and bemusement. Eventually, she said, "You do know I'm going to have to explain it to him?"

Luna shrugged. "Do you have pudding?"

Lust blinked, before saying, "Gluttony ate it all."

"It was delicious!" Gluttony exclaimed with a grin.

"Tea, then?" Luna asked.

It was surreal to sit down to tea with a buxom woman who had the name of Lust. She seemed to accept that, if these people were going to be here and be annoying, might as well roll with it.

"I swear, it's like babysitting," Lust said, eyeing Gluttony, who was sitting by himself, looking at a loss for something to do. "And I'm not just talking about my darling little brother there. At least he's housetrained." She took a sip from a teacup (filled with chamomile tea, apparently). "So, Miss Lovegood, how could you tell Bradley had an Ouroboros tattoo on his eye?"

"She sees things," Harry said. "People think she sees things that aren't there. Technically, they're correct. But everything she sees is real, even if it doesn't exactly exist on what we like to think of as reality. Plus, she doesn't have the same filters as anyone else. It's certainly an experience being her best friend."

"Ahem," Luna interjected.

"And sounding board."

"Ahem."

"…And sexual partner." He looked at Luna. "Please stop saying 'ahem'. Brings back too many memories of Umbridge."

"Ahem, ahem," Luna said, just to be perverse.

Lust looked at them, before saying, "So, do you know what we are?"

"Ooh, at a guess, given that those are less tattoos and more like a sort of unholy hybrid of birthmark and manufacturer's stamp, I'd say…Homunculi?"

"Gesundheit," Harry said facetiously, even as Lust scowled.

"You know and talk too much, you know that?" Lust asked.

"Of course I do," Luna said blithely. "Of course, depends on who's doing too much talking."

Lust frowned, as if reminded by Luna's words about something, before she plucked a small walkie-talkie from her cleavage, and listened to it for about a minute. "Oh, you stupid fat son of a bitch!" she snarled. On their looks, even one from Gluttony (who technically qualified, even if his only parent was actually a bastard rather than a bitch), she clarified. "Sorry, Gluttony, I meant Cornello. He's doing some stupid villain monologue thing to the Elrics and…dammit, the Elrics have brought along one of the townsfolk." She took a couple of calming breaths, before she said, "I am going to kill him. I just know that this stress is going to overcome my natural immunity to age and give me bloody wrinkles!"

"What about us? Aren't you going to kill us?" Luna sounded vaguely offended.

"Unfortunately, that's not on the agenda," Lust said. "And Cornello is about to…"

"Become a Darwin Award(2)?" Harry asked.

"…I don't know what that is, but if by that, you mean he will die due to his own stupidity, then yes." Lust sighed. "I need more chamomile tea."

"Should we help the Elrics?" Harry asked.

Luna smiled. "They will be just fine."

"Shit, shit, shit!" Edward yelled as he dodged the attacks of the chimera trying to make a meal out of him, while Cornello looked on smugly and Rosé looked on in horror.

"Why do I get the feeling that they aren't fine?"

"I said they will be fine," Luna said. "Future tense, not present tense. And speaking of tense, you look it." This last was said to Lust. "When was the last time you had sex?"

Lust blinked. "What."

"I'm just saying, you look tense. I think it's because you're a bit pent-up. Which I think is ironic because you're called 'Lust' and all."

After a moment of her opening her mouth and closing it like a stunned fish, Lust eventually said, "Damn, I can't believe it's been that long."

"Well, I know how to fix that!" Luna said, rather too cheerfully. "Come on, Harry!"

Needless to say, the subsequent hour was somewhat strange. The former Boy Who Lived, the current Girl Who Is Bloody Strange, and a two and a half centuries-old crime against humanity with a body many women would die to have.

Afterwards, as they were putting their clothing back on, Lust remarked, "I actually do feel more relaxed. I'm still going to kill Cornello, though, especially as he's probably trying to kill the Elric brothers. Killing idiots is a great stress relief."

Harry looked at Luna. "Should we let her?"

"He's a narcissistic bastard who plays on religious belief to trick the people, and he's probably tried to kill Edward and Alphonse." Luna shrugged. "I find myself not bothered."

As they emerged, Gluttony said, "Lust! Lust! The short one tricked the old fat man into boasting about his plans to the whole city!"

Harry and Luna stared at each other, before laughing. Lust facepalmed. "Damn it, Cornello. And here I was feeling much less stressed. Come on, Gluttony. You two had better leave. I'm sure the Elrics will be leaving before long."

Harry and Luna left the two Homunculi, and exited the church to find Rosé pointing a gun at the Elrics. Times like these I miss having a wand, Harry thought to himself. A simple Expelliarmus, and she wouldn't be threatening them.

Thankfully, Edward managed to bring her down. But as the Elrics walked by, Luna hissed to Harry, "The Stone. The Resurrection Stone."

"Really? Won't that make things worse?"

"Not if we watch her."

Their train didn't leave until the next morning, so Harry allowed Rosé to borrow the Resurrection Stone, though not before warning her very strongly about what it did. "But why would you do this for me?" Rosé asked.

"Because…well, you need some closure, don't you?" Harry asked. "As long as you realise that he can't come back from the dead for good, well…"

Rosé looked at him, before nodding. The quintet went to a small park, a little way away from the church, before she finally used it to speak to her deceased boyfriend, Cain(3). The reunion was both heartwrenching and heartwarming. In the end, though, Rosé accepted, and allowed her boyfriend to pass back through to the world of the dead.

As she handed the Stone back, she asked, quietly, "How do I know that wasn't a trick?"

Harry shrugged. "If it is a trick, I was fooled. Maybe I should tell you about the Three Brothers. Rosé, believe me when I say, it's hard to find a reason to live. All my life, I was shaped into a weapon by a meddling old goat. With the best intentions, but you know what they say about the road to Hell. In a way, I'm still searching for one. You've got your legs, like Edward said. You've got a brain. And you've got a fine heart. Don't waste them."

Rosé smiled, a little shakily. "If it was a trick, it was better than the ones Cornello did." She sighed, but just as she made her way away, Luna stopped her.

"Rosé, things are going to go bad in this town for a few days. Too many wrackspurts. I suggest warning your closest friends and leaving town for…a couple of weeks? Just take a holiday or something."

"Uh…okay?"

"Believe me, Luna knows what she's talking about," Harry said.

As they went to the hotel, Edward glared at them. "Where the hell were you two when I needed you?"

"We got preoccupied," Luna said. "Met a couple of Homunculi. Cleared the wrackspurts from one of them."

"Wait, wait, hold up…did you say Homunculi?" Edward asked incredulously.

"Of course."

"But nobody's ever made a Homunculus," Alphonse protested.

"Well, someone's made at least seven."

"Seven?" Harry asked.

"We've met three. And two of them are called Lust and Gluttony. They're named for two of the Deadly Sins. The other was called Bradley, but I've never heard of a Deadly Sin called Bradley before."

Edward gaped at Luna, and Alphonse, despite his helmet having no expression, gave a similar vibe just from his posture. "Fuhrer Bradley…is a Homunculus?" Edward asked incredulously.

"Yes."

Edward blinked at Luna, before saying, "Y'know what? Fuck it. I don't wanna know until I have a good night's sleep. After we get on the train, you're going to tell me everything." Seeing the look on Harry's face, which said, Choose your words with care, in case she does tell you everything from the very beginning, he corrected himself. "Everything that happened to you two today, I mean."

Flicking the blood and brain matter from her fingers, Lust watched as Cornello, his skull pierced by her Ultimate Spear (which basically amounted to her sharpening and lengthening her fingers into skull-piercing lances of doom), slumped to the floor, a terminally imbecilic expression of surprise on his face. Sadly, it wasn't as stress-relieving as her little session with Luna and Harry.

She decided that she needed to report back to Wrath. Envy would have to be sent here ASAP to cover for Cornello. She barely registered the sound of Gluttony succumbing to temptation and chowing down on Cornello's corpse, despite her admonition to the contrary. She sighed at his simple-mindedness. She loved him as siblings do, she really did, but there were times when he was a pain in the derriere.

Even as she thought about their next plan of attack, she mused on Harry Potter and Luna Lovegood. And wondered if she could persuade Father, once the Promised Day had come and gone, to let her keep them…

CHAPTER 3 ANNOTATIONS:

Well. That just happened. And if this chapter seems very different in tone to the previous two, with the humour reaching crack-like levels, well, this is because it just seemed to write itself as the twisted mutant offspring of the writing of Gregg Landsman and sakurademonalchemist. Luna meeting Lust. I mean, it could only end in one of two ways: either what happens above, or Luna pissing Lust off enough to get speared. As it is, these revelations are definitely going to be changing the course of the canon story. Then again, so are Sirius' actions in this world.

Anyway, hope you liked this chapter, though something tells me it'll be controversial. Once I got into my groove, I actually enjoyed writing it. Of course, the next chapter, which will concentrate on Shou Tucker, will be somewhat more serious. Especially given Nina's fate.

If I finish the next chapter any time soon, I'll hold back on it until the big Christmas update.

Review-answering time! Jostanos: If by that, you mean Sirius and his New Marauders, well, wait and see. Sirius' actions in this world may alienate Harry and Luna.

Guest: During the Ishvalan War. Sirius ended up in the middle of that conflict when he went through the Veil. Details to be revealed later, but he basically helped save Scar, Scar's brother, and Winry's parents.

Ambiguity in D Major: Thanks. Just about every other story in this crossover is about either Ed and/or Al ending up at Hogwarts (either as teacher/s or student/s), or Harry ending up in Amestris as a young child. In fact, the first spur for this story was sakurademonalchemist's Daughter of Flame, where Harry (or rather, Angel Potter, as it is a female Harry story) travels to Amestris after her fourth year, and actually participates in the events of Fullmetal Alchemist. That being said, that story is based more on the first anime than the manga (and thus, Brotherhood), though Truth is a pivotal character. I'm hoping that my story is moderately original in this particular crossover, though as mentioned before, quite a bit was inspired by alienyouthct's Ex Astris Gloria.

1. Putting a little bit of the Tenth Doctor into Luna here. He had a tendency to lick things like walls too.

2. The Darwin Awards' first book was released in 2000, and the actual website has been around since 1993. Harry and Luna go through the Veil sometime between 2001 and 2002 in this story (taking Sirius' own plunge through the Veil as 1996, and Harry's final year being 1997/1998).

3. Cain is the name given to Rosé's boyfriend in the original anime adaptation, but is never named in the manga or Brotherhood. I decided, why waste a perfectly good name?