*Author's Note*

Thank you for all the follows, favs, and reviews.

Most Heartbreaking Thing

Jessa POV:

I was sitting in the wagon, painfully holding onto my side, while Shaw ran into Doc's office to grab him. Granny Delize was in the back of the wagon with the kids, keeping them calm and quiet as I suffered in pain up front. Clenching my teeth, I let out a shaky breath in a useless attempt to calm myself down. No matter how much I tried to will the pain away, it wasn't going away. No, instead it seemed to be getting worse. So far, I was jst experiencing sharp daggers in my side and haven't started bleeding yet, but I felt like at any time I could start. I felt that I was in the miscarriage process and it scared me. I didn't want to lose my baby, but it seems like what I wanted didn't matter cause I wasn't in control of the situation.

"Babe, Doc's gonna look at ya." Shaw announced as he ran out of the doctor's office and over to the wagon.

"Nothin' to look at, she needs to get home to bed 'fore her pain gets worse." Granny Delize remarked as Doc emerged from his office while Shaw stood by my side of the waiting, anxious waiting for Doc to see me.

"Granny Delize, I'd feel better if Doc sees her." Shaw told his great-granny as Doc made his way over to me.

If I wasn't in so much pain their bickering would bother me, but since all I could focus on was how bad I felt I didn't care if they argued til the cows came home.

"Jessa, Shaw says that Tolbert pushed ya and you fell. That true?" The old doctor inquired while looking me up and down with a long tilt of his head, taking in my posture and painful body language.

"Yes." I nodded, gritting my teeth as a sharper pain tore thru me.

"You're cramping." Doc stated, not asked, as his eyes locked onto the hand that I was clutching my side with.

"Yea, but it's more of unbearable sharp pains." I told Doc as I began to shake slightly from the sharp pain I felt. Dear god, I can't handle this. It hurts so damn bad.

"There's nothing I can do." Doc solemnly told us with a sad look in his eyes. He let out a sigh before going on to explain, "The body's already started a miscarriage; it's only a matter of time 'fore the bleedin' and passin' of the baby."

Oh god, it's confirmed that I'm losing my baby.

"Thank you for lookin' at her, Doc. Mean a lot." Shaw kindly told Dr. Rutherford before rounding the wagon and climbing up into it. Doc just nodded before turning around and walking towards his office while Shaw grabbed the reigns and snapped them. As soon as the wagon started to roll down the street, Shaw looked at me and softly said, "We'll be home soon, babe. I promise, I won't leave you're side during this."

"I know." I simply said since I didn't know what else to say. Maybe if I wasn't in so much pain, I'd be able to form a coherent thought, but…well…since I was in pain I couldn't think about anything other then what I heard from Doc. The fact that I was having a miscarriage.

Allie POV:

As soon as we entered town Doc Rutherford flagged us down and told us the tragic news that Jessa was having a miscarriage as a result of Tolbert pushing her at the end of Shaw's trial when they were trying to leave the courthouse. I asked Cap to take me over to Shaw and Jessa's in order to help her; reluctantly he said yes. When I say reluctantly what I mean is he told me he thought that Shaw might be going out of his mind and wouldn't want me around, but he'd take me over anyways.

Cap held Captain W. as we walked up the large porch of Shaw and Jessa's house. Todd and Mary were outside on a porch swing with the babies, but Shaw wasn't with them. "Where's Shaw?" I asked while Cap just went over to an open rocker and took a seat.

"Inside helping Granny Delize with Jessa." Todd answered me while his sister silently sat next to him.

"Of course, he is." Cap scoffed, shaking his head before giving me an 'I told ya so' type of look, as he rocked on the porch with our son sitting happily in his lap.

I didn't say a word, just nodded before opening the front door and going inside. The house was eerily quiet except for the sounds of moans and cries echoing from the bedroom door off of the kitchen. My poor best friend, she was suffering. I felt so bad for Jessa, she didn't deserve to be going thru a miscarriage. As I walked further into the house, I spotted Granny Delize in the kitchen getting a bowl of water from the pump sink. She must've heard my footsteps cause she paused in her task and turned around. Looking me up and down, she raised her brow and asked, "Who the hell are you?"

"Allie, Cap's wife." I answered, earning me a quick nod of acknowledgement. Oh my god, this old woman reminded me so much of Uncle Jim that it was a bit much. Yea, you can tell that Granny Delize is his mother, that's for sure since they both have the same harsh, blunt, cankerous attitude. "I came over to help Jessa." I expanded, hoping it'd make the weatherworn old woman warm up to me.

Giving me a pointed look, Granny Delize folded her arms over her chest and leaned against the sink while bluntly telling me, "Allie girl, just save yourself the trouble and go home cause my great-grandson ain't lettin' ya into that room."

"He can't be in there with with her. It's unhear-" I tried to say, only to get cut off by Granny Delize's crochety tone snapping at me with, "It's what, unheard of? Girl, more men should be like Shaw, if so, a woman wouldn't have to break her back doin' everythin'."

What? Is she serious? My brows furrowed in disbelief. "You mean you approve of him isolating her while she's miscarrying from me, her best friend?"

"You're a few months off from havin' your baby; the last thing a miscarryin' woman needs is to be 'round a healthy pregnant woman." Waving her hand dismissively at me, the old woman ordered in a raspy bark, "Now skedaddle.", while cutting her cold blue eyes at me.

"Bitch." I said under my breath, turning away from Granny Delize so that I could leave.

As I began to walk towards the door, Granny Delize chuckled, "I heard that ya know. I might be old, but I ain't deaf." Of course, she heard it. Just my luck, huh? "Oh, tell that man you're married to that I'll be droppin' by for supper one of these days." She added in as an afterthought as I reached the door.

With my hand hovering over the doorknob, I looked over my shoulder at the grey-haired woman and assured her, "I'll tell him, Granny Delize."

"It's Miss Delize to you, young lady. You haven't proven yourself worthy 'nough t'call me granny yet." The crochety and bitter old woman snapped at me before grabbing the bowl from the since and making her way to the bedroom off of the kitchen.

Of course, this woman's even harder to impress then her son. At least with Uncle Jim all I had to do was tell him off and tend to Cap while he was laid up in bed with his injured eye. How I'm going to impress Granny Delize tho is beyond me. Maybe I could make her some sugar biscuits and tea as a peace offering? Yea, I'll do that and hope it's enough to get her to like me.

Shaw POV:

Sitting by Jessa's bedside while she painfully miscarried our child was the most heartbreaking thing I've ever done in my entire life. I felt useless cause I couldn't help her. All I could do was give Jessa moral support by wiping her forehead with a wet rag and whispering sweet words in her ear. It took a few hours for Jessa to go thru the entire miscarriage, but I was by her side the entire time. Granny Delize was around too, helping by getting fresh water and assuring us that once everything was done, we'd be able to start the healing process to mend our broken hearts.

Currently, I was holding Jessa in my arms as she cried and cried her indigo eyes out against my chest. "I know, baby. I know; I'm hurtin' too." I softly whispered, stroking Jessa's hair in an attempt to soothe her.

Looking up at me with tears rolling down her cheeks, Jessa wailed, "It's not fair, Shaw. Just when I get you back, we lose the baby."

"I know, but life ain't fair. It's just the way it is I reckon." I sadly sighed while drying her tears with the pad of my thumb.

A sour and pain filled look appeared on her face. "This is Tolbert's fault. He knew I was pregnant, but pushed me anyways."

"He did it to hurt me, babe. The crazy ginger wants me sufferin' cause the jury found me not guilty." I explained in an attempt to rationalize why Tolbert did what he did. God, that man was fucked up in the head. If our roles were reversed I would never and I mean never had pulled what that ginger fucker did. Laying hands on a woman to purposely cause a miscarriage is one sin that is unforgivable in my book, especially when the woman and child belongs to me. Tolbert's a dead man walking in my books.

"But it just isn't you he's hurting, but me too." Jessa's lip quivered as tears threatened to spill out again.

"I know and that's what make him a hateful, heartless fucker." I sighed with a bite to my tone while gently guiding Jessa's head to rest against my chest.

Once she laid her head back onto my chest, I went back to running my fingers thru her hair in an attempt to calm her down. She was shaking in my arms and silently crying, something that broke me. Goddamnit, Tolbert's a dead man for pullin' this shit. I swear, when I'm able to get a free moment he's dead.

A knock sounded at the door followed by it cracking open. Granny Delize popped her head in and asked, "Ya'll need anything?"

"No." I shook my head before heavily sighing, "Just watch after all the kids."

Her blue eyes were full of sympathy as she asked us, "How long ya need me t'stay for?"

Not wanting the old crone to feel obligated to stay, I told her, "If ya need to head back home tomorrow we'll be fine."

"I ain't goin' nowhere when you're in need of me. Now, how long ya need me here for?"

"Reckon til she gets back on her feet." I told my great-granny. Looking down at Jessa and gicing her shoulder a slight squeeze, I asked, "Right, honey?", to make sure she was okay with what I told Granny Delize.

Jess nodded into my chest while mumbling, "Yea."

"I'll get supper started; leave ya'll to your own for a bit." Granny Delize told us before shutting the door; leaving us to grieve and mourn for the time being.

Granny Delize POV:

"Is she gonna be okay?" Mary asked me (since the girl was very worried for her sister-in-law) as she sat wit' the babies at the table as I cooked supper.

"Yea, girl, she'll be fine." I nodded while chopping up some carrots for the soup I was makin'.

A few silent moments passed by 'fore Mary bluntly asked in a worried voice, "Shaw's gonna go after Tolbert for this, ain't he?"

Dropping the carrots slices into the stock pot I had on the stove full of water and chicken, I told the girl that was an adopted great-granddaughter to me, "You're a smart girl, Mary. What'cha think?"

As I went over to the counter to chop up some celery, Mary told me in a firm and knowing tone (one too old for a young girl to be usin'), "He's goin' after him t'kill him for what he did to Jessa and their baby."

As I roughly chopped up the celery, I assured the lil blonde-haired girl, "Which is why I'm stayin' here for a bit. Your brother just avoided the gallows; I intend to keep him 'way from them too by makin' sure he don't do nothin' stupid."

"Like go after Tolbert." Mary stated, not asked, while watchin' me prep soup vegtables.

"Exactly, now stop worryin' so much 'bout things ya don't got no hand in a changin'." I sternly ordered Mary, makin' the girl just nod her head 'fore lowering it to look at the woodgrain in the tabletop. Hell, girl's too young to be worryin' 'bout the feud. Poor child's growin' up too soon surrounded by a blood feud an' it ain't right. There's nothin' to be done to change the way she's bein' raised, but it still ain't right that the girl's wise beyond her years cause of everything she's seen and been thru in her young life. "Why don't 'cha put the youngins down in the other room; help me with the cookin' instead of just sittin' and starin' at the damn table."

"Um, am I old 'nough to start cookin'?" She hesitantly asked, soundin' a bit nervous to be a helpin' hand in the kitchen.

"Sure, it's a skill you're gonna need anyways."

"Should I get Todd from outside to watch the babies?" The girl asked, overthinkin' everything. Hell, that boy don't need t'be in here to watch the babies. The babies are fine in the other room on their own, but of course the girl don't think so.

Giving Mary a pointed look, I waved my knife at her and said, "Do whatever ya want, girl. Just make sure your ass is helpin' me cook within the next few minutes." Shakin' my head, I went back to choppin' up vegetables.

"Yes, ma'am." Mary stuttered 'fore risin' from the table and takin' the youngin's to the main room.

Mary POV:

"Yes, ma'am." I stuttered since Granny Delize made me nervous. As quick as I could I got up from the kitchen table with the babies and took them into the main room. I placed them into their pen, which had a couple of toys in it, and then went outside to fetch my brother from the barn. He was supposed to be there feedin' and groomin' the horses, but when I entered the barn, I saw him sittin' in the hayloft drinkin' one of Shaw's shine bottles.

Lookin' up at Todd, I told him, "You shouldn't be drinkin' that, it's Shaw's and if he caught ya you'd be in a heap of trouble."

"I don't care what he thinks." He should. Our brother's gonna be so pissed if he finds out what Todd's doing. "I'm a man; work for my keep, so I can drink if I wanna." Todd spat, taking a large drink of shine.

"Granny Delize needs me t'help her make dinner. You need to go inside to watch the babies."

"The babies have a pen and ya'll are gonna be in the kitchen so I don't needa go in just yet."

"But Todd-" I tried to talk to my brother, but he cut me off by yelling, "I don't want to go inside to smell the stench of blood that's been loomin' in that damn house for hours! I'll go inside later, damnit!"

Oh, so my brother was upset about Jessa's miscarriage. I guess it makes sense that he's upset since he spent so much time at the livery working with her when Shaw was in jail.

Todd POV:

"Go help that mean ol' hag and leave me alone!" I screamed at my sister, not wantin' her to see me upset and raidin' our brother's likker stash. Shaw always kept a bunch of shine bottles hidden in the hayloft ever since Jessa moved in. It was his way of makin' her think he didn't drink, but he did. Oh boy, he did. He usually filled up his flask or snuck a few sips when he was doin' barn chores.

"I'm goin', but don't stay out here too long. Don't want that mean ol' hag catchin' ya drinkin' otherwise she'll tan your hide." Mary sniped 'fore spinnin' on her heel and storming out of the barn.

I took another swig of Shaw's shine, feeling the homemade hooch burn as it went down my throat. Shit tasted strong, but it did the job of numbin' my feelings. I was up in the hayloft drinkin' cause I felt bad that Jessa lost the baby. She was nice and I considered her a friend, not just my brother's woman, since we've gotten to know each other durin' my brother's stint in jail. I loved Shaw and was glad he was freed, but knew he was goin' to change and turn cold cause of Jessa's miscarriage. Hell, he turned a bit cold after they first broke up; drank somethin' awful too. Honestly, his drinkin' mirrored that of my dead dad's. Not a good thing, since my dad was a mean drunk. At least Shaw's never been mean to us, but I'm afraid that this time 'round my brother's coldness and drinkin's gonna be worse; that he'll get mean too.

Knowin' my lil sister was right and I needed to go inside and deal with the sorrow there I corked my brother's shine bottle and put it back in its hidin' spot. I let out a heavy sigh 'fore climbin' down the hayloft and exitin' the barn. God, I hope the smell of blood's subsided a bit in the house, but I highly doubt it since women can bleed on and off for days durin' miscarriages (or at least my mom did the times I witnessed her miscarriages).

AN:

I know, this chapter was sad. Sorry about that, but it had to happen for the larger plot point scheme of the story. Do you think Shaw's right and Tolbert wanted to cause Jessa to lose the baby or do you think his temper got the best of him and he just reacted spur of the moment? How did you think Tolbert's going to react once news travels across the Tug that Jessa miscarried?