*Author's Note*

Thank you for all the follows, favs, and reviews.

Who's ready for some unexpected LEMONS?! Yea, they basically wrote themselves since I wasn't originally planning on going in this direction. Whatever, ya'll get a lemon to read. Yay!

You know what they say, there's a fine line between love and hate.

Anyways, this chapter is very long. I think it's one of the longest ones I've written. Hope you guys enjoy it.

Good Friday & Easter Sunday

Jessa POV:

I'd seen Tolbert a couple more times since the day he came over with candy and a toy for my son. Both times I begrudgingly let him come in for coffee. We didn't do much talking, but he did make a remark in passing about visiting Roseanna and learning that she was pregnant. His little sister expecting was a bit for him to take in, but I can't say that I blame him. What took me by surprise was how Tolbert just silently sat, sipping coffee while waiting for me to strike up conversation. It gave me the impression that he didn't want to say something that'd go down the wrong way and get thrown out before he finished his coffee. That was something else since I'd never known the redhead to be a careful or thoughtful man with his words.

Well, today was Good Friday and I wasn't expecting Tolbert to be coming around. I mean why would he, it's a holiday weekend. Even tho it was a holiday weekend; Sully was still holding school in Mate Creek. Today would be their last day of school tho since the planting season was officially starting the Monday after Easter and would last a good 3-weeks. I was going to plant a small vegetable garden (mostly to give me a way to pass the time), but I wasn't going to have fields full of crops. I wasn't a farmer, plus my share of the livery profits were more then enough to buy produce with.

The other day the kids found a cat in the barn. Turns out the cat had some kittens with her too. Silas begged and begged to able to keep the kitties, so I relented and now I got a puppy, a mama cat, and 5-kittens in my house. I didn't mind tho. The pets made my son happy and as a mother I'd do anything (legal) to bring happiness to that boy. Silas was my pride and joy; most likely the only child I'll ever have too. Oh, don't get me wrong, I love Lydia, but I've just come to face the hard facts that I'll most likely never get pregnant again. Oh, and talk about Lydia, now that she's a year old she's starting to get fussy. Just simple things, like playing with her food instead of eating it or crying loud no's when it's bedtime, but still her fussiness is getting to me. Maybe that's cause Silas was never fussy? I dunno, but I hope she grows out of it cause talking care of a fussy child alone is rough, especially when you have other kids to take care of too.

I was making some dough to make hot cross buns with while the kids were napping (praise Jesus they were napping cause usually they're wired and up) whenever a knock rasped at the door. Knowing it was most likely Tolbert knocking, I dusted my hands off on my apron and went over to the door. "Come over for coffee, again." I remarked as soon as I opened the door and saw Tolbert standing on my front porch.

"Reckon so." Tolbert smirked. Holding up a bag, he informed me, "Got the chil'ren some Easter candies."

"They're napping for once, but I'll be sure to give it to them when they wake up." I told him, taking the bag out of his hand before moving aside and clearing the doorway.

"What'cha makin'?" He asked, gesturing to the dough on the kitchen table, as soon as he walked into the house.

"Hot cross buns." I simply answered while closing the door.

"Eh, I'm not too fond of 'em." Tolbert shrugged as I led him into the kitchen.

"Yea, well, it's a holiday tradition so…" I trailed off, placing the candy bag on the counter before going straight to the coffee pot that was warming on the stove while Tolbert made his way to the table.

"Might be tradition, but don't mean I'm gonna et the damn things." He told me, taking his seat at the table. Making a disgusted face, he added, "Taste horrible."

"They're not that bad with sweet butter spread on it." I assured him, placing his coffee in front of him before resuming my spot at the table by the dough.

Tolbert picked up his mug and took a long sip before telling me, "Hmm…I doubt it, but I'll take yer word on that, darlin'."

I just shook my head at him while kneading my dough. It needed a few more whacks before it'd be ready to rise. "Well, thank you for the candy. You didn't have to buy it tho since I know chocolate bunnies and truffles are expensive."

"I didn't mind, 'sides Squirrel gave me a family discount at Adam's." He informed me between sipping on his coffee.

"Oh…" I nodded, flipping the dough over to finish that last few kneads it needed.

"Jessa, I've been waitin' for ya t'say somethin', anythin' t'me so we can talk, but ya nev'r do so I'm just gonna have to do the talkin'." Tolbert told me in a way that felt like he was getting ready to pour out his soul to me. His eyes flittered between me and the mug he was holding in his hands before confessing, "Jessa, I know why yer the way ya are 'bout me an' my family, the McCoys. It nev'r dawn on me til recently that yer protectin' yer son from any possible harm cause he's got Vance blood. Yer worried for his safety as he grows, which is why ya planted yerself 'ere 'mongst the Hatfields." Placing his mug down with a clank, he carried on with, "I know now why ya nev'r felt comfort'ble wit' my kin holdin' 'im or bein' 'round 'im too much. I'm sorry it took me so long t'understand that yer entire world revolves 'round Silas an' his wellbein'." Reaching his hand out and placing it on top of mine, stilling my kneading, he ended his confession with a smooth, but soft, "If I would've known sooner how ya felt, well we'd had talked it ov'r; worked thru it."

Arching a dark brow at him, I asked in a puzzled tone, "Why're you telling me this, Tolbert?"

"Cause I felt like I need too." He told me, removing his hand from mine. Picking up his mug, he added, "Also, I still love ya an' just want ya t'know that I get why yer the way ya are now when 'fore I didn't."

"Hmm, and what took you so long to get it?" I asked, putting an emphasis on the words get it, as I started to section out doughballs to make buns with.

"My cousin, Nancy, made a remark last week 'bout how Silas ain't worth a bucket o'spit cause he's got Vance blood. Made me realize why ya truly left me; why ya felt yer son needed his real poppy."

"Oh…" Never faltering in my pace of making dough balls and plopping them into a pan, I edgily told Tolbert, "Well, Nancy's gonna be havin' kids with Abel so she doesn't have much room to talk. That man's flakier than snow."

"He's spineless is what he is. Lets Nancy push an' pull 'im every which way, least that's what I see while stayin' wit' 'em." Tolbert informed me before taking a sip of his coffee, his eyes watching me as I made the hot cross buns.

"And of course, we both know you're not spineless. It'd be a cold day in hell before you let a woman push you around." I chuckled, shaking my head as I placed the last bun on the pan and bringing it over to the counter.

"And ya, darlin', were always high spirited. Perhaps that's what drawn me t'ya." My redheaded ex mused as I grabbed a knife from a drawer and started to mark the cross in the buns.

Looking over my shoulder, I dryly asked, "Sure it wasn't cause you thought I was pretty?"

"Course I thought ya was purty, hell still do, but that ain't why I fell in love wit'cha. It was that high spirit o'yers that I fell for." Tolbert told me with such conviction in his voice as he set his mug down on the table and leant forward a bit, placing his elbow on the table as he looked at me.

"I wasn't that high spirited back then." I countered, finishing up marking the hot cross buns before leaving them to rise on the counter.

As I made my way over to the table, he nodded. "True, ya were more cheerful an' reserved, but nev'r the less that high spiritedness was there." As I took a seat, he smirked, "Just came out more as ya gotten older."

I rolled my eyes at him and deadpanned, "I'm not that old, Tolbert. Hell, I'm only turnin' 19 this October."

Reaching for his mug, he mused, "Reckon yer right, compared t'me yer young."

"You're not old either, Tolbert."

"Depends on how ya look at it, but thanks, darlin', for sayin' that." He lightly smiled, sipping on his coffee. Holding his mug slightly away from his face, he asked, "Can I ask ya somethin'?"

I nodded with the answer of, "Sure, what is it?"

"Why'd ya fall in love wit' me? Was it cause I was 'round or…?"

I let out a long, heavy sigh. I really didn't want to go into this, but in a way, I felt like I owed him an answer since he did admit to me why he fell for me after I first arrived in the Tug Valley looking like a half-drowned rat. Looking every which way, but at him, I honestly answered his question with, "I fell in love with you cause, despite your hot-head and moodiness, you were always good to me. We were close friends for a long time, maybe even best friends, and my feeling for you just grew quickly into love I guess."

Tolbert didn't say a word, just nodded. A soft clink echoed in the room as he set his mug down on the wooden table. His blue eyes were downcast on the mug, but when they drifted up to lock onto mine, I saw a mix of a million raw emotions swirling in their stormy irises. Before I could blink, Tolbert had one of his calloused hands cupping my cheek while he pressed his lips into mine for a spur of the moment kiss.

Logically, I should've pushed this man (who caused me so much heartache and pain) away from me, but the way his full lips melted into mine captivated me in a way that sent an excited and thrilling jolt straight thru me. I should've fought my instincts, but I didn't. Without even thinking, I wrapped an arm around his neck and held onto one of his shoulders with my free hand. My lips moved against his, matching his every move as we kissed. He bit my bottom lip and lightly tugged on it, eliciting a soft moan out of me. He swiped his tongue along my bottom lip, asking for permission to deepen our forbidden and unexpected kiss.

It only took half a second for me to grant Tolbert's request, causing his tongue to instantly enter a sensual dance with mine. Our tongues twisted and danced together as our hands roamed thru each other's hair and over our upper bodies. When we finally parted, panting for breath, I saw a wild needy look blazing in his stormy blue eyes. One that I'm sure my indigo eyes mirrored. Without uttering a word, we crashed into each other for a searing kiss. His strong arms maneuvered me so I was straddling his lap and I knew; I just knew what was going to happen next.

Our lips were feverishly nipping and tugging in heated kisses as Tolbert flung my bedroom door open. His lips pulled away from mine (letting me catch my breath) and began to trail my jawline with kisses as he walked thru my door; kicking it closed behind him. Tolbert began kissing my neck as he quickly walked over to my bed, placing me on it with an unceremonious flop as he hovered over me.

Prying his lips away from the crook of my neck, he brought his face mere inches from mine and gazed deep into my eyes while asking, "Ya sure, darlin'?"

"I'm sure." I assured him, lightly sifting my fingers thru the short hair at the nape of his neck.

Tolbert nodded, a small smirk on his face, before capturing my lips in a searing kiss. Quickly, I gave him leeway to deepen the kiss even tho he didn't request it. He did deepen the kiss, entangling our tongues in a sensual tug of war, while untying my apron and flinging it somewhere to the side. Our kiss continued heatedly as I felt him pull my blouse from my skirt while I pushed his suspenders down his shoulders before starting to blindly unbutton his shirt. I only got maybe 3-or-4 buttons undone whenever he pulled away from me. Tolbert batted my hands away from his chest before grabbing the hem of my blouse and swiftly pulling it off of me. Right after he tossed my blouse to the side, I quickly went back to work unbuttoning his shirt; pushing it off of him once it was open.

Before I could grab the hem of his red undershirt, Tolbert stood up and brought me with him. With a look that was blazing with lust, he grabbed the waistband of my skirt and pulled it off. Once my skirt polled around my feet, my fingers latched onto the hem of his undershirt. Quickly, I pulled it off of him to reveal his taunt muscular upper body. I didn't even think, just reacted, as I ran my hands over his chest. I could feel him shuttering beneath my touch as he arched his back slightly, pushing himself further into my hands as they roamed over his torso.

I pressed a kiss to his neck, right by his Adam's apple, as I rested my hands on his belt buckle. Before I could begin to unbuckle his belt, Tolbert lifted me up into his arms. Out of instinct, I let go of his belt buckle and wrapped my arms around his neck while winding my legs around his waist. I let out a breathy moan as I felt his bulge brush up against my core as he moved to set me back down on the bed.

Once my back hit the mattress, Tolbert went to work removing my stockings and shoes before toeing out of his own boots and unbuckling his belt. He pulled off his pants and quickly took off his socks (leaving him in his red longjohn pants) before kneeling on the mattress. He settled himself between my legs while giving me another opportunity to stop before we went to the place of no return by asking, "Ya still sure?"

Nodding, I let out a breathy sigh of, "Yes, Tolbert." I swear, if this man stops right now, I'll kill him myself. Can't work up a woman and just back off. If I didn't want to sleep with him, I wouldn't be in my bedroom half naked and making out with him. Hmm, guess it's just the southern gentleman in him that wants reassurances.

Upon hearing my reassurance, he nodded and dipped his head to plant kisses along my neck while swiftly untying the ribbon that kept the top of my shift closed. Pushing my shift's top open, he trailed kisses down my neck and along my collar bone until he reached the valley of my breast. He cupped the swell of my breasts while swirling his tongue around one of my nipples, sending a shock jolting right down to my core.

"Tolbert…" I let out in a mix between a whine and a moan as he continued his ministrations on my breasts. I could feel him smirking against my skin as little breathy moans continued to escape my lips, giving way to the fact that I was getting worked up. After a few minutes he switched his attention to the other nipple while lightly roaming his hands over my breasts, making me let out wispy moans and mewls.

One of his hands traveled down my side and skirted over my upper thigh before coming to a stop under the skirt of my shift, right between my legs. Brushing my core with his knuckles, Tolbert mumbled against my skin, "Yer wet an' ready." Of course, I was. Why wouldn't I be considering all the kissing and touching we've been doing. Tolbert backed away from me slightly and helped me sit up so that he could yank my shift off of me. Not that I was complaining, I was ready to start the lovemaking. "Yer the purtiest thing I've ev'r seen, darlin'." Tolbert told me, tossing my shift over his shoulder before quickly standing up to take off his longjohn pants.

"Well, ain't you laying it on thick." I mused while watching him get back into bed, naked and ready.

Crawling over to me and settling between my legs, he declared, "It's the truth, Jessa. Ya know I've always thought ya were purty."

"I know." I simply told him as he grabbed my hip with one hand and placed his other one on the mattress for balance.

Without a word, he entered me in one swift motion, causing deep throaty moans to escape our lips from the intense feelings he invoked from his simple action. It only took a second for him to snap his hips and set a rhythmic pace to our lovemaking. Every movement he made I matched; it didn't take long before I found myself at the edge of bliss. Even tho I felt like my blissful release as just around the corner, I couldn't seem to find it. As my pleasure built up in me, begging for release, I found myself scratching and clawing at Tolbert's back while raising my hips a little higher. "Tolbert…please…Tolbert…I'm so close…" I let out in a high-pitched moan of a plea, begging him to speed up some more or something.

Tolbert, despite my pleas, didn't speed up. In fact, he stopped and pulled out. What the hell? What was he doing? Before I could ask him that, he told me, "Turn over; get on yer knees." What? Was he really doing what I think he was doing? Tolbert never was the type to do that, he was always on top. Well, if he wanted to try something else that was fine with me. I needed to find my release and soon.

Quickly I scrambled to my knees. I was on my knees, slightly bent over and resting on my elbows, whenever I felt Tolbert's hands grab my hips. With a snap of his hips, he swiftly entered me. A moan tore out of me as I felt him deep within me, deeper than I could've imagined. Instead of moving, he pulled me up to rest my back flush against his chest, making me almost sit on his thighs. One of his hands snaked between my legs while his arm crossed over my lower stomach, holding me close to him, as he started to make prompt, shallow thrusts. His fingers teased my sensitive bud with every movement he made deep within me. I could feel myself beginning to shatter as he placed open mouthed kisses on my neck. The feelings of him nibbling at my neck combined with our new position and his fingers playing me like a fine-tuned fiddle sent me over the edge. "Tolbert…oh god…Tolbert…" Came tumbled out of my mouth over and over again as my chest heaved up and down as I found my blissful release.

"Hold onto the headboard." Tolbert instructed, causing me to crane my neck and give him an arched look. Grabbing my hand and placing it onto the headboard, he repeated, "Hold onto the headboard." I just nodded, realizing that he was planning on bucking it to find his own release. His hand tightly gripped my hip while the other still rested on top of mine (the one holding the headboard). Without much of a warning, Tolbert started to make fast paced movements. So fast, that if I wasn't holding onto the headboard, I'm sure I'd be driven head first into the mattress.

Oh my god, I had no idea that Tolbert had so much stamina. All of the times we were together while being common-law man and wife he was so tentative and mellow, but still sensual. This tho, this ragged, raw, fast pace fueled by lust and emotions was something I'd never expect from him.

After a few minutes, I felt myself begin to tighten around him as another pleasure peak was about to give way. His moans mixed with mine filled the air as his fast pace got a bit sloppy. Suddenly, I let out a cry and saw stars as hot pleasure coursed right thru me. Tolbert was right behind me, finding his release while groaning, "Jessa…darlin', darlin'…" over and over like a mantra.

As soon as I felt him pull out of me, I bonelessly flopped onto my stomach. Tolbert lightly traced my spine with his knuckles and pressed a kiss to my shoulder blade while confessing in a velvety mutter, "I've always wanted to take ya like that."

Turning onto my side and looking at him curiously, I brought a hand up to brush against his stubble covered cheek and asked, "Why didn't you, til now I mean?"

"I was tryin' t'be respectful o'ya since ya were my common-law wife. I didn't want ya feelin' like I was treatin' ya like some whore I used t'see for we took up t'gether."

"Oh…" I never knew he felt that way, that he held back in bed cause he was scared I'd bring up his past rendezvous with the Pikeville whores. Okay, well, that kinda made me feel bad. Hmm, maybe I was a bit harsh on him that time I flipped out when I discovered he was seeing whores. I mean for him to be afraid that I'd throw that in his face, yea my tongue lashing a few years back cut him deep. Letting my hand slip down his cheek and rest on the crook on his neck, right by his shoulder, I told him, "I'm sorry I made you feel that way. I was just young and jealous of girls that didn't mean anything to you; I overreacted." Raising a brow, I curiously asked, "Why'd you decided to throw all caution to the wind now."

"I knew ya needed somethin' more then what we were doin'. Don't ask how I knew, I just did. I was like I could feel yer struggle an' just knew that turnin' ya 'round would send ya ov'r the edge." Tolbert explained as his eyes locked onto mine. I just nodded, taking in every word he told me and letting it sink in. He gave me a ghost of a smile before telling me, "Come on, best we clean up 'fore yer chil'ren wake up." Pulling away from me, he got out of bed and went over to the water basin that was on the nearby dresser.

"Talk 'bout children, you know that Monday starts the closing of school for the planting season. School's closed up til mid-May too." I informed Tolbert, getting out of bed and joining him by the water basin as he quickly cleaned himself up.

"Ya sayin' I ain't allowed ov'r no mores cause the Eldridge girl'll be home." Tolbert bluntly told me, passing the wet washcloth over to me.

"Tolbert, despite what happened just now you can't be visiting me. It ain't right, you're a McCoy." I sighed, quickly cleaning myself up as Tolbert gathered his clothes and started to get dressed.

"I know I'm a McCoy, Jessa. Ya once went by the name McCoy too, 'member." Tolbert told me in a a slight snap as he pulled on his pants while I placed the washcloth into the wash basin before picking up my shift.

"Tolbert, if you don't want to get yourself killed just stay on your side of the river. I can't give you anymore then what we had this morning." I told him, quickly slipping on my shift before picking up my skirt and pulling it on.

"Come June I'm headed west to Oklahoma." Tolbert revealed, taking me by surprise, as he quickly buttoned up his shirt. As I pulled on my blouse and tucked it into my skirt, he went on to say, "I can take ya an' yer chil'ren wit' me; get'cha 'way from this feud an' anythin' else ya fear."

"Tolbert, even if I wanted to runaway to Oklahoma with you, I can't." I told him, sitting on the bed next to him after grabbing my stockings and shoes.

"Why not?" He asked while pulling on his boots.

"Shaw'll never let me bring his kids across state lines." I honestly stated while slipping on my shoes.

"He's got no say so, ya ain't even wit' him anymore." Tolbert scoffed, rolling his eyes to future prove his point that he didn't think Shaw had any ground to stand on when it came to the kids and where we lived.

Standing up in a heated bough of frustration, I rounded on Tolbert and bluntly told him in a slight screech, "It doesn't matter that we're broken up, he won't let me move a few hours down the road to Tazewell, Virginia let alone days away to the South West. Hell, he hired a Pinkerton, Bad Frank, to get Lydia back when Olga took her to California so what's to say he wouldn't sic that man on me. Huh?"

"Bad Frank? He hired Bad Frank to get Lydia back?" Tolbert asked, his voice a bit hitched with concern, as he stood up. I just nodded, which caused him to tell me, "I've seen what that man can do. Saw 'im take down the Levingers other day in the Pikeville Saloon." Shaking his head, he closed the distance between us and told me matter-of-factly, "Yer the only mama that girl's got cause I'm sure Bad Frank killed or maimed the other one out in Cal'fornia t'get her back to her poppy."

"Mama?" I heard my son's voice echoing from upstairs.

"My son's up; you need to leave out the back door now." I hissed, rushing by him and out of my bedroom.

"I'll figure out a way for ya t'go to Oklahoma if ya want." Tolbert told me as he followed me into the kitchen.

"Don't, I'm fine here." I told him before quickly going over to the staircase that my son was starting to walk down. "Silas, are you hungry?" I asked my son, walking upstairs to meet him while hearing the kitchen door softly close in the distance (signaling that Tolbert had left).

"Yea, mama. Me hungry." Silas nodded as I scooped him up.

Hitching my boy up on my hip, I smiled, "Well, let's go make you a sandwich then." Silas just nodded as I walked downstairs and into the kitchen with him.

I set him down at the table only for him to ask, "Tol was here? His coffee, mama?", as his eyes landed on the mug.

"He dropped off some Easter candy, but it's best that we don't tell anybody. That we just keep it our secret cause nobody likes him." I honestly told my toddler, grabbing the forgotten coffee mug and bringing it over to the sink.

"Me like Tol, mama." Silas informed me as I placed the mug into the sink and went over to the bread box.

"Why? Cause he brings you candy and toys?" I asked my son as I sliced some bread and grabbed the cheese out of the ceramic container it was in (next to the bread box).

"No." My son shook his head as I sliced some cheese for his sandwich. "Me like Tol hair. It red." My son blurted out as I fixed up his sandwich and plated it.

Jesus…my son liked my ex cause he's a redhead? God, what's wrong with him? Was Shaw like this as a child? Random. Shaking my head, I brought my son over his sandwich. Placing the plate down infront of Silas, I ruffled his hair and told him, "You have to like people cause they're nice, not cause they've got red hair."

"El'son nice, got red hair." Silas countered me before picking up his sandwich and taking a bite out of it while I went over to the counter to get him a glass of milk.

Of course, my son likes redheads because of Ellison Hatfield, the gentle giant of the Hatfield family. Too bad's Tolbert not a gentle man, his temper can go from 0-100 in a split second. "You'll see Ellison and Cotton and all your other friends and cousins Sunday after church. Okay." I smiled at my son, changing the subject as I brought him over his milk.

"Okay." Silas nodded as I placed his glass on the table.

Before I could sit down Lydia's cry of, "Mama! Mama!", echoed from upstairs. Looks like a mother's work's never done.

I walked into church on Sunday morning for Easter service acting as if nothing had happened between me and Tolbert on Friday. I walked right by him without as much as a look as I made my way to my usual pew that was occupied by Sully, Jim Vance, Cap, Allie, and a few other Hatfields. Only thing that might give way to something was the way Tolbert's eyes raked over me as I walked by him along with how he moved his hand to brush against my skirt. Preacher Garrett gave me an odd look, but I just held my chin up high and walked behind Todd and Mary as they made their way to the pew they usually sat in with Johnse and Roseanna while carrying Lydia on my hip and holding onto Silas' little hand as he walked next to me.

"Happy Easter." I greeted everyone on my pew as I came to a stop at it, feeling a few eyes boring into me. One set I knew was the reverends while the other I knew was Tolbert's. I didn't let it bother me, just smiled at my kin (well I guess they're my kin since they're Silas' relatives).

"Happy Easter." Sully parroted, quickly rising and scooting out of the pew so that me and my kids could take our seats.

Cap just tipped his black Stetson at me while Allie smiled, "Happy Easter, Jessa."

"Happy Easter." The Wallace's (being Skunk Hair and Vera) politely replied as I took my seat between Sully and Jim.

"Shaw ain't havin' a Happy Easter. He's still locked up in my room, goin' stir ass crazy wit' withdraw." Jim Vance chuckled, his large belly jiggly like jelly, as I placed Lydia on my lap and set Silas in the small spot between me and his grandfather.

"Jim…" Sully warned his uncle, giving the crochety mountain man a cutting look.

I just shot Sully a look full of judgement and disgust. How could he sit around and let his son go thru some homemade half-ass rehab when he had the power to take him to a reputable place in the future and get him real help? Jim was right, Sully wasn't much of a father to Shaw. No wonder Shaw was so fucked up. His step-dad beat the living shit out of him and his real dad was too busy trying to find a way to stop a feud then to find the time to actually parent his son. Shaw's mother, even tho Peggy was nice and seemed to be good to Shaw, had some issues to considering how she let him be raised.

It'd be a cold day in hell before I let my son be mistreated by his father, whether that be physically or emotionally. Hell, I'd do anything for my son, my children, which I why I was currently single. As Tolbert once told me years ago, I'm fine enough on my own.

"He'll be freed in 'nother week I reckon." Jim rattled on while the congregation sang Are You Washed In The Blood?, which I guess is an appropriate song to sing on Easter Sunday. I dunno, the Easter songs in modern churches a bit more upbeat, but we're in the 1880s so…

Giving his uncle a hard reprimanding look with his ocean eyes, Sully hissed, "Jim, shut up and sing the damn song. We're in church, talk later at dinner."

Jim Vance just let out a loud chuckle before telling his nephew, "Sully stop actin' all religious cause ev'one here knows ya ain't."

Sully just rolled his eyes at his uncle before turning his attention to me. "Jessa, you're going to the main Hatfield house for dinner after service, right?"

"Yes, I am. I even made a pie." I answered the man that would've been my father-in-law if my ex-fiance didn't run from his past and drown his sorrows in an endless supply of whiskey bottles.

"Not berry, I hope." Jim chortled, causing Cap to let out a bitten back chuckle.

"Jim, stop pokin' fun at berry pie." Sully order his uncle, causing me to just shake my head. God, how they live together without killing each other beats me.

Before Jim could say another word, Reverend Garret took the pulpit and loudly finished the last line of the hymn before saying, "Brothers and sisters in Christ, I welcome ya'll 'ere today on this Easter Sunday t'celebrate in the risin' of our lord an' savior, Jesus Christ." Looking over the crowd, he leaned forward on the pulpit and carried on with, "He shed his blood so that washed in it we'd be cleaned from all sin. All sin no matter if it's thievery, murder, lyin', gossipin', unfaithfulness, or fornication, is forgiven when washed in the blood of the lamb." Raising a hand in the air and doing some quick spirit fingers, the preacher's voice got deep as he sing-songed, "Almighty God's begotten son, our savior, Jesus Christ."

Well, this Easter service should be cringeworthy since the preacher's eyes bored holes into me (and most likely Tolbert too) as he said the words fornication. I get the feeling that the good ol' reverend can sense the sexual tension between me and my redheaded ex; is going to be playing on it during the 'get your sins forgiven cause he's risen' sermon he's spewing out.

Never in my life have I wanted to crawl under a pew and hide during church, but right now I kinda do. Especially with how so many women are raising their hands and shouting out amen in response to the reverend's fire and brimstone message. I'd much rather have a repeat of last year's Easter service where Reverend Garrett read the verse about Jesus' tomb being empty and doing a message on that.

Tolbert POV:

Reverend Garrett's Easter sermon was full o'persecutions 'bout sins, mostly fornication (fuckin') an' how it's only forgiven by the blood o'the lamb. Blah, blah, blah… Yes, I believe in god an' I'm Christian, but I ain't no celibate man an' ain't gonna grovel for forgiveness for fuckin' (whether it be a whore or the woman I love) when the mood hits. Hell, the reverend's daughter Leona's been courtin' wit' Calvin for 'bout 3-years now an' I'm sure they're doin' more than playin' Patty Cake, but Reverend Garrett don't seem t'pay that any mind. Nah, that preacher was too concerned wit' givin' me an' Jessa judgmental looks an' goin' on an' on 'bout how sins includin' fornication (which he harped on the most) was forgivable.

Nancy an' Abel ended up leavin' the service early cause they had 'nough o'the reverend's sermon 'bout sinners needin' forgiveness from our risen savior. Can't say that I blame 'em. I most likely would've left too if it wasn't for my need t'keep an eye on Jessa; make sure she was doin' a'ight wit' hearin' the sermon.

After the reverend ended the sermon, I made my way ov'r t'my folks' (a place I haven't been in a long time) for Easter ham supper. I spent some time wit' my brothers 'fore takin' up a rocker on the porch. I just needed a moment t'myself for a bit. My brothers were all happy, but I weren't. I mean, I weren't depressed or nothin' like that, but my mind was heavily weighed down by thoughts. Thoughts o'Jessa an' how our lives were so screwed up cause of our lack o'communication. If we'd been more open reckon we'd be happily married right now.

I was rockin' an' just starin' out at the vast woods s'roundin' my folks' cabin whenever the front door squeaked opened. I turned my head only t'see my ma steppin' out on the porch. I didn't say anythin', just went back t'lookin' at the trees. "Tolbert what're ya doin'?" My ma asked, comin' ov'r to the rocker next t'me an' takin' a seat.

"What'cha mean, ma?" I asked, nev'r takin' my eyes off the nearby trees.

"Ya know what I mean, son. What're ya doin' wit' Jessa?"

"Nothin'." I simply said, rockin' aimlessly.

I watched a squirrel run down a tree trunk an' 'cross the yard while listenin' to my ma's words of, "I had a rightful vision of a dream that she birthed a boy, one that resembled ya in a few ways, an' gave it a middle name ya hate." Grabbin' my hand an' tightly squeezin' it, she inquired wit' a worried look, "So, I repeat, what're ya doin' wit' Jessa?"

"Ma, just cause ya had a dream don't make it true or the sight." I rolled my eyes at her. "Hell, ya know poppy says that the sight's hogwash." I reminded her wit' the tilt o'my head. My gran'ma did a number on her growin' up, makin' her believe in sight, dreams, an' future visions. Everbody knew that shit just wasn't true. Creepy's what it is.

Narrowin' her eyes at me, she firmly said, "It ain't hogwash, Tolbert." Shakin' my hand, she warned, "Heed it cause it always come true."

"Ma-" I began only t'get cut off by her snappin', "Gettin' a bastard on her'll get'cha killed by her jealous husband."

"He ain't her husband." I reminded my ma, givin' her a hard look as I stopped my rockin'.

"Mark my words, he will be." She said wit' conviction in her tone, lookin' at me wit' stern eyes. He won't be if I've got any say in it. "If ya wanna live, son, then stay 'way from her." Ma advised me, pattin' my hand 'fore standin' up. "She'll be the death o'ya if ya don't leave her be." She sighed 'fore walkin' off to the front door an' back into the house t'finish makin' dinner.

Meanwhile Over In Mate Creek, WV…

Jessa POV:

I was in the crowded kitchen of the main Hatfield house, helping cook Easter supper. Levicy, Allie, and Vera were all large and in various stages of ready to pop, meaning that I had to do a lot of running around the kitchen along with Jane (Judge Wall's wife), Essie (Jane and Wall's daughter). Nannie and Betty, the oldest daughters of Anse and Levicy, were tending to the children.

I was checking on the ham whenever Jane asked me, "Are you gonna take Shaw back once Uncle Jim deems him sober enough to leave the house?"

I wasn't planning on it. I felt that I needed some time alone to sift thru my feelings, especially after the hookup with Tolbert. I mean that wasn't meaningless, it happened cause we hashed out some things, some feelings, that we never talked about until now. Shaw and me, well that wasn't something I needed to think long and hard about.

Deeming that the ham still had more time to cook, I closed the oven while simply telling Jane a generic answer of, "I dunno. I'll have to see if he can stay sober first."

Allie gave me a look that silently read, 'you better not take that drunk back', while all of the other women just nodded their heads at me.

"It could be worse; you could still be stuck wit' Tolbert McCoy." Essie pointed out, crinkling her nose in disgust as she peeled some carrots.

"Yea…" I tightly said, feeling a bit uneasy since I did hookup with the redhead a couple of days ago.

Catching on that I felt awkward, Levicy changed the subject by asking Allie, "Allie, dear, what're ya and Cap plannin' on callin' this new baby?"

Rubbing her swollen belly, my best friend smiled, "Levicy Anne if it's a girl and Ellis Liam if it's a boy."

"Oh, Allie, I'm honored that ya'll wanna name 'er after me." Levicy proudly smiled, joy oozing from every word she spoke.

"Of course, we do, we couldn't think of anyone better to name her after." Allie smiled at her mother-in-law while cleaning pole beans. Looking over at the third pregnant woman in the room, Allie told her, "Vera, you must tell everyone the names you and Skunk Hair came up with. They're lovely."

"We've picked out Bridget and Walton." Vera told everyone with a happy smile on her face as she placed a freshly peeled carrot into a bowl.

Walton, like that tv show The Waltons? Hell, maybe his middle name'll be JimBob too. I'd never name my son Walton, but to each their own.

Turning to me, Jane asked (in poor taste if you ask me), "Do you think you'll ever have anymore children?"

"Jane, she suffered a miscarriage a couple of months back." Levicy reminded her sister-in-law, letting the woman know that her question was rude and uncalled for. Jane just shrugged, not feeling any shame about being reprimanded on the question she asked me.

I felt all eyes on me as I answered Jane with, "I suppose if I'm in the position to have another baby I will."

"Well, I pray that you'll be able to." Jane told me with a sympathetic smile as she picked up a carrot to peel. Instead of leaving it at that, she went on to ask, "If you were to have another child what would you name it?"

"I'm not sure, but maybe after it's father somehow." I shrugged, cleaning pole beans with ease.

Before Jane could say another word, Levicy came to my rescue by telling the woman, "Jane, could you check the rolls; see if they've risen?"

"Of course." Jane nodded before getting up and going over to the counter the pans with rolls lined up on them were at.

Well, so far, my Easter's uneventful. Hopefully the rest of the day'll get better.

AN:

I was planning on having Anse confront Bad Frank in this chapter, but an unexpected scene came up and I didn't have room to put it in. It'll be in the beginning of the next chapter tho. I hope you guys liked this (lemon included, lol). Yea, reckon I'm laying down a foundation for more angst and drama.

Since Jessa's gonna come up pregnant (I hinted at that in a note a few chapters back) who do ya'll think the baby's daddy is considering she hooked up with both Shaw and Tolbert within like a 2-week span? Is Sally right, that Tolbert's the daddy, or not? It's always nice to hear what you readers are thinking.

Oh, the birth of Cap and Allie's new baby will be in the next chapter too.