*Author's Note*

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Jessa's 19th Birthday

Jessa POV:

Tolbert showing up the other day with a birthday present for me (a baby blanket for Endor) was surprising to say the least. The very least. Mary seemed to buy my lie, so did Todd and Shaw when they came home and I told them the same thing that I told their sister. In fact, Shaw got so full of himself upon hearing that Tolbert showed up with a peace offering (the blanket) that he bragged that sending Bad Frank to rough him up for the money worked wonders; even knocked the 'ginger fucker' down a few pegs.

Shaw's haughtiness and pride's gonna be the death of him, just like how Tolbert's uncontrollable temper and nasty mouth's gonna be his. Dear lord, I did I manage to get myself stuck between these two men? Oh, yea, that's right, I really wanted the redhead, but he wasn't paying me too much attention, so I flocked to the attention the golden-brunette I knew from school in my time and then everything just blew up in my face and turned into a big ass shit show from there.

If only Tolbert did kidnap Shaw and Johnse with the intent to kill them, then I'd still be single and able to weigh my options. Hell, maybe I'd be able to follow my heart instead of my head too. Sadly, things didn't go that way and I had to make smart moves. I was married to Shaw, who I did love on a level cause he was Silas and Lydia's father, and I just had to make the best of it. I knew that with his cunning and wit I'd be able to survive this feud, but I also knew that since he was friendly with Bad Frank that I needed to always keep an eye on him incase he did something stupid (like turn on his own kin) and I needed to take the reigns to get us out of a pickle.

"Happy Birthday, babe." Shaw pressed a kiss to my temple before taking a seat at the head of the table.

"Thank you, honey." I smiled at him as he grabbed the coffee pot from the middle of the table, pouring himself some into the mug that was laid out for him (since I had his place set with a mug, plate, and silverware).

"How old are ya, Jessa?" Mary innocently asked as she nibbled on a biscuit.

"Older than us." Todd dryly answered before I could, causing Shaw to just shake his head as he made up his plate.

"Mama's old." Silas chirped.

"Yea, mama old." Lydia agreed with her brother.

Oh god, help me… "I'm not that old, sweeties." I told my children. Looking at Todd and Mary, I told them, "I just turned 19."

"See, told ya she's older than us." Todd smugly told his little sister.

"But I'm not as old as Shaw. He's gonna be 22 come December." I smirked, scooping up some eggs with my fork and eating them.

"Haha, yea, I'm Ol' Man River over here." Shaw deadpanned, shoving a forkful of scrambled eggs into his mouth.

"Yea, I think you might even be sprouting some grey hairs too." I teased my husband, pointing my fork at him as an amused smile spread across my face.

"If I got grey hairs it's cause of all the bullshit the McCoys have put us thru." Shaw retorted before shoveling more eggs into his mouth.

"Maybe Tolbert'll leave us alone now. He did bring over a peace makin' gift." Suggested Mary as she nibbled on a slice of crispy bacon.

"He's only bein' nice cause he's scared shitless I'll send Bad Frank to beat the shit outta him or something." Shaw said in a smug, know-it-all tone as he picked up his coffee mug and took a sip of it.

"Heard he was once an outlaw that rode with Jesse James." Todd spoke up before crunching on his bacon.

Mary's honey eyes widened as she asked, "Is he your friend?"

"Yea, I know." Shaw simply told Todd, placing his mug down, before turning his attention to Mary and answering her question with, "No, but I just hired him to get my overdue money from that ginger McCoy."

"Oh…" Mary nodded.

Of course he hired Bad Frank to shake Tolbert down for the money. I knew it, somehow, I just knew it. Grabbing my teacup, I asked (well really, I ordered, but under the guise as a question), "Shaw, honey, it's my birthday so can we not ruin it by talking about a certain redhead?"

"Yes, of course, honey." Shaw nodded. Picking up his biscuit and taking a bite out of it, he apologized with, "I'm sorry, I won't bitch 'bout him no more today."

"Thank you." Sipping on my tea, I asked my other half, "Are you working today or did Anse give you the day off?"

"Unfortunately, I've got to work since we're a man down." Shaw told me while placing his biscuit back onto his plate. Picking up his bacon and taking a jerky bite out of it, he added, "Anse still hasn't found anybody to fill Cap's open spot, but we'll celebrate your birthday when I get home. Promise."

Placing my teacup down and picking up my fork, I simply told my husband, "That's fine, Shaw. I was just wondering's all."

The rest of my birthday breakfast was pretty silent and uneventful after that.

It was around noon whenever a knock sounded at the door. Standing up from the couch, I looked at Mary (who was sitting at the table doing her school work) and told her, "Watch the kids like a hawke, Mary."

"I will." She told me, closing her history book and rising from the kitchen table.

I went over to the door while Mary went into the main room to play with the kids. She didn't want a repeat of the other day (Silas snooping and getting into things he shouldn't be getting into). Honestly, neither did I. Thankfully, neither of the kids got hurt by the shattered glass whiskey bottle. I swept up the glass and cleaned the floor the best I could, but the kitchen still had a moonshine smell lingering in it due to the shine soaking into the floorboards. Reckon in time the smell will go away. Shaw was upset that his fresh bottle he'd just got from Johnse was broken and wasted on the floor. He chewed out his siter, even made her cry. That made me give him a piece of my mind and banish him to the sofa that night.

Eh, at least Tolbert's gift cheered up Shaw and stroked his ego that night.

When I answered the door, Roseanna was on the other side. She looked good for being due next month. She was big, but wasn't as large as I was. Roseanna was considered cute pregnant. Too bad I can't be cute pregnant. Eh, guess I'm just bound to be large and miserable while pregnant.

"Happy Birthday, Jessa." The sweet blonde smiled while holding a covered dish in her hand. "I made ya some cookies." She told me, holding the covered dish out to me.

"Thank you, Roseanna." I smiled, taking the cookies from her. "Come in and we'll have some tea and cookies." I told my friend, stepping aside so that she could walk inside the house.

Roseanna walked thru the door and over to the sofa. Quickly, I shut the door and followed her. After she sat down her eyes found the blanket that was folded up on a chest near the bookshelf. She was studying the blanket as I set the cookie platter on the coffee table. Right as I was about to head into the kitchen, Roseanna stopped me by saying, "That looks like my Aunt Betty's stitchin' on that blanket. Looks like all the blankets she gives mama when she has a baby."

Before I could say anything, Mary piped up with, "Tolbert came by with it the other day. It's a peace offering so Shaw doesn't send Bad Frank after him for anymore money he might owe us."

"My brother brung ya a blanket he had our aunt make?" Roseanna asked, one of her brows rising slightly. I just nodded, which prompted her to let out a sigh of, "Oh no…Jessa…"

I knew by the way Roseanna's sweet tone fell that she was going to grill me about my baby's daddy. Looking at Mary, I told her, "How 'bout you take the kids outside to play so I can visit and have some girl talk with Roseanna."

"Okay." Mary simply nodded before getting up, taking a hold of Silas and Lydia's hands, and leading them out the back door.

"She's gone, so go ahead and ask me what I know you wanna ask." I told Roseanna as I walked into the kitchen and grabbed the tea kettle from the stove.

"Is the baby Tolbert's?" Roseanna asked me as I filled the kettle with water. She quickly rambled on with, "I mean, there's no other reason why my brother'd give ya a blanket for it if it wasn't his. I mean he's not that nice of a man so…", as I placed some tea into the kettle and put it onto the stove.

"If I tell you the truth you've got to swear that it stays between us." I seriously told me friend as I stoked the stove's fire.

"I swear, cross my heart and hope to die. I swear, I won't tell." Roseanna told me, crossing her heart with one of her hands, as I walked out of the kitchen.

I nodded and went over to the sofa. After sitting down next to her, I sighed, "It's Tolbert's." My indigo eyes feel onto the cookie platter in front of me as I explained, "After I broke up with Shaw your brother started to come around. At first it was to apologize for how things ended then it was to check up on me; make sure that I was okay on my own." I shook my head as a ghost of a smile appeared on my lips. "He'd bring over candy for my kids and would just ask for a cup of coffee. One day the kids were napping and our unresolved feelings came to a head as we talked over coffee."

"Oh…"

"We were only together once, but it only takes one time to conceive." I told her a bit bitterly. Of course, both my sons were conceived in one-nighters.

Roseanna nodded. A few silent moments passed before she asked, "When did it happened?"

"Easter weekend." I simply answered.

"Oh, no wonder Shaw thinks it's his baby. He hadn't been locked up that long then." Roseanna concluded as she grabbed a cookie from the platter and taking a small bite out of it.

"No." I shook my head before explaining, "There's a 2-week window between when I last saw Shaw and when I was with Tolbert."

"So, there's a chance it could be Shaw's?" Roseanna asked sounding a bit hopeful that my baby was her cousin-in-law's and not her brother's.

"I doubt it, Roseanna. I can't explain how I know, but I just know it's Tolbert's. Like I've got a gut feeling or a mother's intuition that Endor's Tolbert's."

"Maybe you've got the gift, like my mama does." Roseanna suggested as the kettle began to whistle.

"What?" I exclaimed, a bit shocked and taken aback, as I got up from the sofa.

"It'd explain why you're so certain the baby's Tolbert's; a boy too." Roseanna told me as I made my way into the kitchen.

"But I don't see things, Roseanna. Just feel things, just know things." I countered her theory as I took the kettle off the stove; placing it onto the counter.

"That's a part of the gift. A weaker one, but the gift never the less." My friend explained to me as I grabbed some teacups from a cabinet; set them on the counter, and filled them up. Great…so I've got 'the gift' too. Just wonderful. "Are ya afraid of how Shaw'll react if he finds out the truth?" She asked while I fixed our teas up with milk and sugar.

"Somewhat, yes, but he won't find out the truth if I can help it." I told my friend, walking out of the kitchen with a teacup in each hand. "Hell, he's already been told it by Tolbert and didn't believe it." I reminded Roseanna while placing the teacups down onto the coffee table before taking a seat next to her on the sofa.

"You're my dearest friend an' I can't fault ya for a moment weakness. I know that Tolbert can be pushy at times." Roseanna told me, blamin' her brother for our hook-up instead of me. I loved Roseanna as if she were my own sister, but sometimes she could be naïve. Tolbert's not to blame for the hook-up. We both are since we both wanted to be with each other. I could've said no, but I didn't. Patting my hand and giving me a soft smile, the blonde told me, "Just make sure to turn him 'way if he comes 'round." Reaching over to grab her tea, she added in, "You're with Shaw, your true love, an' can't have my brother stirrin' the pot; causin' problems."

"I know, Roseanna." I sighed a bit tightly as I grabbed my own tea. "I won't do anything to jeapoardize my marriage with Shaw. I promise." I told Roseanna as we sipped on our tea.

Thing is, I wasn't so sure that Shaw was my true love. It was Tolbert that I'd wanted from the get go. Shaw was my backup plan from the beginning. When I was able to be with Tolbert, well I thought that we'd live happily ever after or something, but that didn't happen. I got stuck making some hard choices; ended up with my backup plan. No, I didn't think that Shaw was my true love, but I know he's a love of mine. I love him, but not in an undying true love conquers all type way.

At least I love him, tho. It'd be worse if I didn't.

Tolbert POV:

I was outside splittin' wood whenever I heard a wagon roll up. I paused in my task an' looked ov'r my shoulder only t'see my sister, Roseanna. Goddamnit, what was she doin' 'ere? "Come t'visit Aunt Betty?" I asked my sister as she pulled her wagon to a stop by the hitch-post.

"No, come t'see ya, Tolbert." My sister told me as she slowly climbed down from the wagon. Her belly was large, so her movements were slow.

"Why?" I asked, furrowin' my brows at my sister. Stickin' my axe into the wood cuttin' stump, I went on to tell Roseanna, "Ya haven't had nothin' t'do wit' none of us since poppy tuned ya out an' ya married Johnse Hatfield.", as she waddled ov'r t'me.

"I saw the blanket ya had Aunt Betty make for Jessa; knew you'd had'a be here t'get her to make it." Roseanna told me, comin' to a stop right in front o'me.

"So, I gave Jessa a birthday present." I shrugged, not seein' why that earned me a visit from my sister.

"She told me the truth 'bout the baby, Tolbert." My sister revealed as she held her back wit' one of her hands. I'm not surprised that Jessa told Roseanna. I mean they're close, practically sisters. Only makes sense for her t'confide into somebody since she ain't only friendly terms wit' Allie no mores.

"So."

"So? So, Tolbert, ya need'a stay 'way. Ya can't cause any trouble for her an' Shaw; they're happy an' I don't want her to lose that." Roseanna had the stones to tell me. Goddamnit, who does she think she is? Huh?

"Roseanna, yer so stupid." I spat out, causin' her to flinch. Shakin' my head, I huffed out the blunt an' honest truth of, "She ain't that happy wit' him, but just puts on a good front. Jessa's wit' him cause she feels she's forced t'be."

"No, it ain't cause of that. She loves him; that's why they're married." My sister dumbly told me, causin' me to roll my stormy eyes at her. God, she sounded like a fuckin' fool. Did she really believe a word comin' outte her mouth?

"They're married cause Devil Anse ordered it an' Jessa was too 'fraid t'say no." I deadpanned.

"Tolbert, stop tryin' to argue wit' me on this." Roseanna ordered me in a voice no bigger than a mouse's. "Jessa's married t'Shaw, she loves him, so ya gotta leave her 'lone. It don't matter that ya wore her down an' got a baby on her, she's married t'her true love an' you've gotta respect that." My naïve and guillable sister rattled on an' on, makin' me cringe at the stupidity of her remarks. Good lord, no wonder she's married to Johnse. She's so stupid when it comes t'relationships.

"Like I said 'fore, Roseanna, yer so stupid. Yer so goddamn stupid that it ain't even funny." I darkly spat at my sister; a scoff stuck deep in my throat as I pointed a finger in her face. I put my hand down and mad a fist as I angrily snapped, "Life's not like one of yer fuckin' fairy stories. True love doesn't prevail an' the girl can end up wit' a jackass she doesn't fully love." Rollin' my eyes at her, I advised, "Get yer head outta the clouds an' come back down to the real world or else yer gonna get hurt so badly given yer married t'Johnse; stuck 'tween our family an' his."

Roseanna's lip quivered as she asked in a sad, but shocked way, "How can ya say such hurtful things t'me, Tolbert? You're my brother."

"Cause they're true." I simply, but honestly answered my sister.

"I want you to stay 'way from my friend. She don't need'a be getting' hurt cause o'ya." Roseanna told me 'fore turnin' her back on my an' waddlin' back ov'r to her wagon.

I just shook my head an' grabbed 'hold of my axe handle, pullin' the blade outta the stump it was wedged in. God, why was Roseanna so stupid for? One day she'll wake up an' smell the roses. Well, at least I hope she does or else she's gonna get hurt real bad cause she's married to Johnse's dumb pretty boy ass.

Jessa POV:

"How's the birthday girl?" Uncle Jim's crochety voice boomed out as he walked thru the front door, right behind my husband.

"I'm fine, Uncle Jim." I answered the mountain man as I placed a large meat platter on the table.

"If you couldn't guess already, we're here for dinner and to wish you a Happy Birthday." Sully told me after walking into the house and closing the door behind him while Jim and Shaw hung up their hats and jackets.

"I figured as much." I told my father-in-law as I walked over to grab a bowl of peas from the counter while Mary placed a basket of biscuits on the table.

"Is that baked chicken I smell, babe?" Shaw asked, his nose sniffing at the air much like our dog's does when he smells something he likes, as he scooped our children up from their spot playing in the man room while Uncle Jim made his way into the kitchen.

"Yes, it is." I answered my husband, knowing that he'd get excited at my confirmation since he loved chicken.

"I don't care what it is as long as I don't gotta cook it." Uncle Jim bluntly remarked as he took a seat at the table while me and Mary brought cups and pitchers over to said table.

"Jesus, Jim, show my daughter-in-law some manners." Sully scolded his uncle as he followed Shaw into the kitchen while me and Mary were pouring everyone glasses of either milk or tea. I'm sure that Shaw'll just whip out his flask and drink straight from that instead of drinking his tea…

"Yea, Uncle Jim, that can be your birthday gift to her. Some manners." Todd chuckled while Sully and Shaw reached the kitchen table.

Shaw just laughed at his brother's remarks while helping our kids into their chairs. Sully just shook his head, dismissing his step-son's sarcastic remark, as he took his seat next to Uncle Jim.

"Sorry t'disappoint, but that ain't my gift." Uncle Jim cackled out in a short, boisterous laugh as I fixed up a plate for my son while Shaw fixed one up for our daughter.

"Bet'cha didn't even buy her a gift, but're piggybackin' on whatever dad got her." Shaw knowing scoffed as he started to fix up his own plate.

"Ah, hell, ya guessed it." Uncle Jim sarcastically remarked around a mouthful of food. The way he said it reminded me of Uncle Lewis from National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation.

I just shook my head before starting to eat my dinner that I'd just finished putting on my plate. Hmm, my birthday dinner was going to be full of interesting sarcastic quips. That's for sure.

About Half An Hour Later…

All of us were gathered around the table as Shaw brought me over my cake, which had a few lit candles on it. "I hope ya didn't have t'bake your own birthday cake, Jessa." Uncle Jim dryly told me as my husband placed the cake in front of me.

"No, Jim. Mary made it." I told the grumpy mountain man while gesturing to my sister-in-law with a slight tilt of my head.

"Oh, reckon I'm gonna need'a wash it down wit' some whiskey."

"Hey…" Mary sighed in protest. Her voice was high pitched since she was offended by her step-uncle's remark.

"Let's just sing Happy Birthday to my wife so we can eat cake; then let her open her presents." Shaw suggested in a low snappy tone, acting in a way as if I wasn't sitting next to him.

"I ain't stoppin' ya from singin'." Uncle Jim nonchalantly shrugged, acting as if his snarky remarks weren't causing waves and taking attention off of the birthday cake ceremony.

"Jim…I swear…" Sully muttered, pinching the bridge of his nose in frustration.

Shaw just rolled his eyes before clearing his throat and singing, "Happy Birthday to you."

Everyone jumped in and sang Happy Birthday along with my husband. Once they ended the song, I blew out the candles, squinted my eyes shut, and made a wish. A wish I'm sure'll never come true, but I made it none the less.

I wished that my son would know his father, his real father. Not the bad things that are gossiped about, the the good things about him. That Endor'll know that Tolbert, despite his wild temper and sharp tongue, is a good man deep down.

I know, it's a silly wish. An impossible wish, but I made it none the less.

"What'd ya wish for, babe?" Shaw asked me as he sliced the first piece of cake and plated it for me.

"I can't tell you or it won't come true." I countered him since I couldn't tell him what I wished for considering it had to do with my ex (who I wasn't completely over).

"Shaw, ya know wishes can't be shared. Hell, mom taught us that 'round our third birthdays." Todd told Shaw while he sliced and plated another piece of cake.

"I don't believe in that shit." Shaw revealed while placing the slice of cake in front of our son.

"Spoken like a true Vance." Uncle Jim cackled as he took his flask out of his shirt pocket, placing it onto the table.

"Hurry up and give him some cake so he'll shut up, son." Sully sighed thickly while Shaw plated up another slice of cake.

"Here, Uncle Jim. Dad wants ya to shut up." Shaw chuckled, handing the crochety mountain man a plate of yellow cake.

"Cake daddy. Where my cake?" Lydia whined, looking at the cake her daddy was slicing with big honey eyes. Eyes that were indeed puppy dog eyes.

"Right here, honey." Shaw told our daughter as he set a plate in front of her.

"Don't get too excited, girl. Cake's overbaked." Uncle Jim yapped before taking a long swig of his flask.

"It is not. The cake's perfect." Mary snapped at her step-uncle, givin' him a narrowed and insulted look with her honey eyes.

Tipping his flask towards Shaw, who'd just given Sully some cake, Jim advised, "Next time let your brother bake the cake for your sister-in-law."

"Jim…be nice…" My father-in-law warned before taking a bite out of his cake. "Mmm, cake's good, Mary." Sully told my sister-in-law with a fake look on his face.

Truth was my birthday cake was dry as hell. I wasn't going to hurt Mary's feelings tho and neither was Sully, which is why we're acting like the cake's good. But I imagine between Uncle Jim's blunt remarks paired with the ones I know Todd and Shaw'll make, Mary's going to be sulking (maybe even crying) soon enough about her overbaked cake that she worked so hard on.

Well, happy 19th birthday to me. Hopefully my 20th next year'll be better, but I doubt it. Next year's '82, the year that Tolbert's fated to be executed by a firing squad of Devil Anse and Hatfield kin as retribution for Ellison's murder. God, I pray that doesn't happen.

AN:

So, Roseanna knows that truth about Tolbert fathering Jessa's baby. Do you think she'll keep her promise and keep what she knows a secret or no? How do you guys feel about that wish Jessa made? Hmm?...

Next up is a small time jump; Roseanna and Nancy's gonna be having their babies.