Roman sat on the most uncomfortable wooden stool ever, surrounded by a bunch of other exhausted art students. It was his third class of the day and he wanted it to be over already. He was waiting in antici ….
-pation for the phone call to tell him his diagnosis results. There was literally nothing worse in the world than having to wait. Roman wanted his tests to be done now. He's already waited a billion zillion years just to have the nerve to take it again. If they decide they can't diagnose him - or worse, if they make him a Negative, Roman doesn't know what he'll do.
Even though he was looking to fill his emotional diagnosis, a trait that was both Negative and Emotional in nature would ruin his reputation. He would be type casted as a villain for the rest of his career! Roman couldn't let that happen. He'd rather have no diagnosis at all.
"Alright everyone, tonight I want you to paint self portraits." Roman's professor, a well-fed man with white hair named Mr. True. He gave the most intense feedback ever and Roman hated being graded by him. He almost wanted to ignore his instructions, but he needed the grade. "These self portraits should be of your Established self. I don't want an exact copy of you. I want to know who you will grow into!" He raised his hands in the air dramatically.
Someone raised her hand, waiving it high enough for Mr. True to see over her canvas. "What if we don't know our Sides?"
"That's what your imagination is for!" Mr. True said, smacking his desk as he walked past it. "What do you dream to achieve? What will time do to you?"
As the bell rang, everyone began to pack up their supplies and move their canvases aside for storage. Roman thanked the stars, practically throwing his paint brushes into his art bag.
"Roman, a moment." Mr. True said, as Roman tried to rush by. He stayed, irritation growing behind his eyes. "I really want you to focus on this assignment."
Roman frowned. "What do you mean?"
"Your self portraits are picture perfect! But I want you to expand your horizons!" Mr. True grabbed Roman's shoulder and gave him a little shake, "Be a Creative about it! And most of all - I don't want to see a picture of you. I want to see your future!"
Roman bit the inside of his cheek. The remarks wouldn't be that bad for any other Side. But to tell a Creativity to be more creative? There was no bigger insult. Roman liked making the paintings of himself pretty. He wanted his self portraits to be gorgeous, sue him.
"What's my future?" Roman asked.
"You tell me!" Mr. True gave him a dismissive wave, "And have it done by Tuesday at midnight!"
Roman forced himself to walk out of the art room. He tried to brainstorm what he could paint. Maybe he should just switch the color palette? Make his skin blue and his hair green? Maybe he'd be a smurf in the future.
Roman was going to throw this canvas out a window. Angrily, he smeared a large glob of red across his face. That was the fourth attempt and Roman was getting cranky. No matter what he tried, he couldn't stop painting his own stupid face over and over. How was he supposed to make himself, but not himself, as an adult that still looks like himself?
He was going insane. This assignment was impossible. Roman couldn't imagine any other future where he wasn't Roman. Even when he thought of fusing with the others, it was just going to be him but bigger, right? He felt like his fusions were a part of him. And when they collect every piece, he'll pop out, a new adult.
Roman! Now complete!
But that wasn't right. He knew that wasn't right. He couldn't stop himself from just painting his own face though.
A knock at his door was a welcome relief. Roman needed a distraction or he'd fall into an endless hole of self-doubt. Roman hopped up, almost tripping over his pile of markers on the floor.
Janus blinked at him, surprised by how fast he opened the door. Abortedly, he said, "Uh, Patton wanted to know if you wanted to go on a walk."
"Cant." Roman said, shaking his head. "I have to paint."
Janus glanced inside his room, his eyes widening. "Did a tornado go through here?" He stepped past Roman and picked up a smaller canvas. "A Ro-nado?"
Roman let out a half-laugh, half-sigh. He kicked one of the ruined canvases. His face was everywhere, but it was useless to Roman. None of them looked believably Established. He only knew how to paint himself as he was, young and beautiful.
"I have to paint our Established self, but I just keep making me." Roman said. He never felt more useless. What kind of Creative trait couldn't even paint?
Janus said from behind him, "Well, I mean…"
When he turned around, he felt his heart fumble. Janus stood in the middle of his room, holding one of his paintings, looking like a goddamn painting himself. He stood bathed in golden light of the setting sun, watching Roman with wide, sincere eyes. His curls framed his face perfectly, and Roman couldn't look away. Roman's throat grew dry.
Janus said in a small voice, "You could paint me?"
Roman scrambled to respond, "Yeah, okay!"
He ran across the room, grabbing his desk chair and pulling it over to his canvas. He gestured for Janus to sit, feeling the blood rushing in his ears.
He set up a new canvas and grabbed a fresh brush. Roman glanced down at his shaking hands and took a deep breath. He didn't know why Janus' offer was so thrilling to Roman. He hadn't ever painted or drawn his Sides before. And the idea of it made Roman feel giddy.
"Are you comfortable?" Roman asked, quickly putting small dots of paint onto his pallet. He looked over to Janus and felt himself freeze up all over again. Janus sat, relaxed as can be, just a few feet away. He watched Roman expectantly. Roman added, "You'll be there for a while."
"That's fine. I have nothing to do." Janus looked down at his nails, before glancing back at him. "Should I pose?"
Roman giggled, feeling his face flush at the sound. He shook his head and mumbled, "No, you're perfect."
Roman heard a squeak coming from Jan's direction, but ignored it in hopes of finishing his homework. He quickly sketched out the shapes of Janus, dropping bits of color to better imagine his work. He glanced between his canvas and Janus, focusing on the small details of his Side. He tried to think of what the two of them look like together: Jason's features dancing in his mind's eye. The more he focused on Janus, the easier it was to imagine Logic's jaw bone, and Virgil's eyebrows. He got lost in the paint, silently moving his brush around the canvas.
Roman only stopped when he realized he was squinting in the dark to see the painting. He set his brush down and let out a long breath.
He jumped when Janus spoke. "Done?"
"For now." Roman said tiredly. He stood up, his knees sore from sitting for so long. He turned on his overhead light and gestured for Janus to take a look.
"I'll finish up the details and background tomorrow, but-" Roman stopped when he saw Janus' expression. "What?"
Roman looked at the painting, trying to find any imperfection. He had painted Janus as the base, with dark hair like the rest of them. He had Logic's skin tone and Patton's smile. He even added glasses! What could be wrong?
"You painted the scar."
"You have a scar."
Janus shook his head and looked up at Roman. When he did, his entire demeanor changed. Bright and excited, he said, "You did great, Roman! Your professor will love it!"
"Do you think it's creative enough?" Roman asked. "Does it need glitter?"
Janus laughed, shaking his head. "Don't worry, it's perfect."
Roman felt warm. He ran a hand through his hair and said, "Aw, thanks. Well, I had an amazing model."
Janus' lip quirked in a tiny smile. He gave the painting another glance. Then he said, "I tried. Well, I'll see you later."
"Janus!" Roman grabbed Jan's hand and said, "Thank you. Really, you helped a lot. And," Roman grinned, "I had fun."
"Oh, uh, yeah." Janus smiled back. "Anytime."
Roman watched him leave, closing the door behind him gently. Then, with all of his exhaustion settling in, he walked over to his bed and collapsed on it. Roman looked at his painting, across the room. Someone who wasn't quite Janus and wasn't quite Roman stared back at him. And in that quiet moment, Roman felt something inside him settle peacefully into place.
Virgil made a Shine account. And he followed Roman. Roman, who posts nothing but thirst traps. Did that mean anything? That didn't mean anything. That was totally just because Virge was supporting his Side. That's all. Still, Roman felt his face warm up at the sight of Virgil's follow notification.
Would he like any of Roman's videos? Did he even watch them? Or just scroll by to the next one?
Roman rolled around on his bed, wanting to kick and squeal in delight. What did Virge think of him? Roman was dying to know. Roman clicked on his account to see if his likes were public. But, of course, they weren't. Virgil wasn't the kind of trait to share his thoughts like that. Which is why it surprised Roman that Virge had a few videos posted.
They were uploaded recently, and didn't have a crazy amount of views. Curiously, Roman clicked on the first video. It only showed different examples of small tattoos.
Of course. Virgil wouldn't use his account for social media. But he was smart enough to advertise his work on it.
Roman stopped, inspecting the small line art. Virgil designs were fall themed, of mushrooms and acorns that Roman found cute. He liked the video and moved to the next one. The next artwork displayed took up a full page of his sketchbook. Dark, cold colors flooded the paper. Roman tilted his head, looking at it better. At the new angle he saw the wide, broken wings stretching across the page. A fallen angel, eyes heavy with tears. Roman liked that one too, although it wasn't his style.
Roman continued like that, watching all six videos Virgil had posted. Not a single one showed his face, but his profile picture did. And Roman could recognize those black-painted nails anywhere.
Before Roman left the page entirely, he followed Virgil back. He bit his lip to hide his smile. Roman couldn't understand how his art was so good; his lines confident and clean. And as he gave Virgil's icon one last glance, Roman knew only one thing for sure. He wanted to make art together with Virgil.
He wanted to fuse.