A/N: EDIT: Flames will be flames, I suppose. Can't we all just get along?
Added some stuff too, but no one seems to have noticed...
Fine, fine, I'll update this next. Its shorter than I'd like, because folks were clamoring for it T_T
As ever, the Embers rule remains.
If folks don't like this story? Poof! Gone! Deleted for keeps! That's no joke, folks. I'm so busy these days with two jobs; basically, I don't have time off. Not anymore. My free time is limited and as such, I can't afford to focus on something folks don't like. Reviews keep me writing in these times, and keep the daily updates flowing. Silence...silence only hurts. I hate having to beg for feedback, but without it...well, it feels like I'm not making an impact.
Now lets answer some questions:
Q: You know the rules about Visions, right?
A: I do, but we don't know the second component to it. Bloody Ei won't tell us! So its feasible that Celestia's handing them out willy-nilly.
Of course, if Naruto puts a good word in, that certainly helps~!
Q: Which voice does Paimon have in this story?
A: Because I've had people asking left right and center, we're going with her softer english voice, the one she held near the beginning of the game. Not quite as high pitched as the tone we have now. I personally don't mind either, but I know there are a great many who preferred that voice. Not sure how I feel about her other voices...
Although...
EHE TE NANDAYO?!
Sorry, couldn't help myself!
Q: You're not just going to jump ahead, are you!?
A: Nope, this chapter is more of a slow burner...hope that doesn't upset people.
Q: How soon will Naruto have company?
A: Recall that Zhongli is traveling by ship, thus giving his "letter" time to arrive. Wouldn't do for him to show up out of the blue unannounced now, would it?
Don't forget that bit I put in about a disguise...
Q: Long live the new Archon!
A: Don't let Naruto catch you saying that. To clarify, this "date" is wholly Lisa's doing. She's not acting under orders from Jean. Our resident Librarian saw something she liked and acted on it, much to Naruto's dismay and hooo boy she really has him off balance in this chapter. Oddly enough her actions might just save Mondstadt. Or doom it. Not sure which.
Alright, then. I think I've kept you waiting long enough.
Hope you're ready; because this chapter's got a bit of everything in it!
As ever, I own nooooo references, quotes, memes or themes. Title is a continuation of the last.
"Won't you come in?
~?
Than Love at First Sight
Paimon was one happy Paimon.
You see, not only was warm, safe, nearly full for the first time in ages, but right now?
She could no stop laughing. No, she couldn't remember the last time she'd laughed this hard ever.
"Paimon can't believe you actually did something that!" she doubled over to clutched at her aching sides, little legs flailing the air, physically convulsing as she fought down a giggle. "And they didn't catch you?!"
"Nope." Naruto smacked his lips with audible pop and kicked one foot up onto the table while he polished off the last of his pasta. "What can I say?" his grin soon proved contagious; it had poor Paimon snickering all over again. "Those stone faces were just begging to be painted. Would've been a crime to leave 'em alone, you know?"
Miss Lisa finished off the last of her wine with a languid sip and tilted her head, smiling softly. "Such a mischievous god."
"Paimon agrees!"
"Oi!" His eyes narrowed, "I keep telling you I'm not a god."
Paimon tried to agreed with that too, she really did. She just couldn't stop laughing.
"You had to be there to see it, I suppose." Lisa allowed with a shrug. "I wish I could've seen what you looked like back then. You sounded like such a little rascal."
Naruto looked left.
Naruto looked right.
Naruto made sure no one was in sight.
...don't tell anyone I can do this."
Lisa blinked. Paimon joined her.
"Do whaaaaaaah?!"
Words trailed off into a startled yelp as the blond twisted his hands and crossed his fingers. A plume of smoke went up and when it was gone, Paimon found herself staring down at someone nearly as short as she. She had all of an instant to glimpse a cheeky grin before Lisa launched herself across the table at him.
"So cute!" her voice rose in a delighted cry as she all but hauled the baffled blond him into her arms.
"Ack!" he choked and the illusion shattered, leaving his face buried in her bosom. "Lemme go!"
"Aw," the magician pouted as she did, "You were so adorable...such a little troublemaker...
Paimon had the strangest feeling Naruto might get along with a certain Oni.
(...A Continent Away...)
"Achoo!"
Arataki Itto sneezed.
"Huh? Somebody talkin' about me or something...?"
(.0.0.0.)
The little fairy winced, eyes squinting as a bolt of pain hit her in the temple.
How did she know what an Oni was? She'd never seen one before. Meh, probably not important. After all, she liked Naruto. Not like-like, she was much too young for that, but she enjoyed his company all the same. He asked her what she thought, didn't call her emergency food, and he treated her to all sorts of nice things. Sure maybe he teased her a bit and he could be a bit off at times, but she could sense the gentle affection beneath his deeds.
"Its really not fair." Lisa tweaked his cheek, drawing a smile from Paimon. "You really are the full package."
The blond bore her teasing with a patient sigh. "So you've told me...
It was then that Paimon knew. Naruto was a good person!
Promises were important, right?
Perhaps that made her simple, liking someone solely for the act of keeping their word. So what if her memory was a little fuzzy? Even if she couldn't anything about herself, she knew a whole lot about Teyvat. More than she should, really. Gods be blasted, Paimon was going to be the best darn travel guide she could for him. She could be nothing less.
Paimon was Paimon, after all!
Her gaze flitted to the bottle of wine.
Well, she was pretty thirsty after all that food..surely a few sips wouldn't hurt?
(.0.0.0.)
"Ahn~!"
Lisa pushed her plate back, raised her arms over head head and stretched with a softly pleased noise. All the blood rushed right to Naruto's face. It almost sounded like a moan. Had to be on purpose. No way it wasn't. She took far too long to stretch, drawing out each moment.
Kurama offered a low whistle.
"Well, that was lovely." she touched a napkin to her face, discreetly cleaning away a tiny crumb of food near her full lips. "You were a consummate gentlemen today." her smile was just short of sly as she placed a bit of mora on the table. "As I said, its my treat. Now, I think its time to-
She tried to stand, swayed in place, and fell back into her seat. Naruto and Paimon blinked.
"Oh." Lisa pouted. "Seems I may have drunk a tad too much."
Naruto felt his brow furrow. "How much exactly?"
"Well," Her pale face was dusted with just a hint of pink. "More than I meant to." Another attempt to rise was met with a second failure. "How embarrassing. I haven't let myself go like this in a while." she sounded a little chagrined, even. "I don't suppose you'd be willing to walk a lady home?" a giggle escaped her lips before she could clamp down on it. "I'll give you directions~!"
"She really is drunk." Kurama rolled his eyes. "Not subtle at all."
Naruto bit down on a sigh. He'd had a fair bit of wine himself -who knew something so sweet could be so bad for you?!- and he could feel a flush in his face that had nothing to do with anxiety. Standing proved a physical effort in-and-of-itself, but he managed through sheer willpower. Lisa, less so. He had to loop an arm around her waist to support her and the moment he did...
Lisa laughed and all but leaped into his arms. "Princess carry!"
"Hey!"
She was surprisingly light. Or perhaps he'd just gotten that strong.
"Thank you." she muttered against his chest. "I'm feeling pretty powerless at the moment."
Something in those words caught at Naruto's heart, a thorn of guilt pricking at his proverbial spirit. Powerless. Maybe she meant the words in jest, but they still stung him all the same.
"Even if someone is powerless, they deserve a chance, Lisa." he shifted a little, the better to balance her weight. "Everyone deserves that much." The gnosis in his chest stirred a little, hearkening to that same nameless melody again. "Even the weakest man out there can become strong if you just believe in him...
She giggled. "Sounds like you had too much to drink, same as me...
"Bah! Mind leading the way, Paimon?"
A tiny hiccup greeted his words. Naruto rounded on it. Sure enough, when he turned to face his guide, he found her floating to and fro like a leaf in the wind. Was it possible to sway in the air? She was doing a damn good job of it. Poor kiddo looked absolutely sloshed. When had she gotten into the wine?! And why did he feel like a bad parent?!
"Y-Yeah!" The little fairy hiccuped. "Sure...sure thing. Just...tell Paimon where to go!"
Naruto rolled his eyes. "Not you too! Alright, where is-
He turned and bumped into someone.
"Aren't you a rude one, stumbling into others like that?" An arch voice scoffed. "Mark my words, vengeance will be mine!"
In an instant he glimpsed bright eyes and pale blue hair. Thanks to his somewhat blurry vision he didn't see much else. What he did see was her scowl. And was that a uniform? Why was she showing off so much leg...? A beat later, her words caught up to him.
Naruto blinked. "But I haven't done anything...?"
"You heard her!" A tipsy Paimon planted both hands on her hips and chirped the words back at Eula, slurring a little. "Mark my words! Vengeance will be mine!"
The knight scowled. "...are you mocking me?"
"No!" Naruto nabbed Paimon by the shoulder before she could make it worse. "Don't mind her! We'll just be going!"
He turned and scarpered with both her and Lisa, refusing to acknowledge her shout.
Eula stared after him. "He's a strange one...
(.0.0.0.)
"Even if someone is powerless, they deserve a chance, Lisa. Everyone deserves that much. Even the weakest man out there can become strong if you just believe in him...
Teppei jolted awake in his cot with a start, gasping for breath.
Such a strange dream just now...
And what were those words?
When he tried to rise, something shifted against his lap amidst the sheets of his bed. Not heavy, but a noticeable weight all the same. He looked down. Frowned. Coughed twice, now. Rubbed his eyes with the back of both hands. Pinched himself to hard that tears stung his eyes. And yet when he opened them again, the image before him did not waver.
For there was an Anemo vision in his lap.
His eyes widened. Trembling fingers reached out, caressing the glowing sphere. It felt faintly warm to the touch; beating like a distant heartbeat. This was wonderful. This was horrible. It would surely make him a target of the Vison Hunt Decree, and yet, despite that, he couldn't bring himself to care. Unbidden, he recalled the words from his dream.
Even the weakest man out there can become strong if you just believe in him...
How long had he prayed for this moment? Hoping, wishing, fighting for a Vision. Wind was the last element he'd expected to receive, but he felt blessed nonetheless. The Anemo God must have heard his pleas and granted them. With this...with this...! He could finally be useful! Not just to the Resistance, but to General Gorou and Lady Kokomi, too!
Teppei held his prize close, cradling it to his chest as one might a fine gem.
"Thank you, Lord Barbatos...
And he wept.
(.0.0.0.)
Lisa's flat wasn't hard to find.
Even with rambling instructions and a drunken Paimon to contend with, they made rather good time; the sun was only just starting to creep below the horizon by the time they reached her aboide.
He set Lisa down and she wriggled free with a sigh. A few failed attempts finally produced a ring of keys, one of which slotted into the lock.
She lingered at the threshold, one leg crossed over the other.
"I really did enjoy tonight."
"Same."
He really had; maybe a change of pace wasn't so bad every once in awhile.
She lowered her gaze, suddenly find the floor far too fascinating for her own good. Her eyes were hidden by the rim of her hat, her emotions a tangled knot he couldn't hope to ake sense of.
"Goodness." a hand came up to cup her cheek as she murmured to herself. "What's gotten into me? I always thought I'd be a bit bolder than this."
Something told him he hadn't been meant to hear that. Curse these keen ears of his. "Lisa?"
She flung her hat at him. "Catch!"
Instinct compelled Naruto to move and he caught it with both hands out of sheer habit. Unfortunately in doing so, he left himself wide open for the assault that followed.
"Mwah!"
Something warm and soft brushed his cheek. Scarcely more than a peck, barely a feather's brush, so faint he almost thought he'd imagined it at first. It was only the faint scent of perfume, the feel of her body welded to his, that snapped him out of it. Lisa's hat fell from his fingers and fluttered to the floor. The Gnosis in his chest sang, wind kicking up before he managed to wrestle it back down and get his feet on the ground.
Lisa glided back, her face curiously red. "Why don't you come inside?"
His brain misfired.
"I'm not trying to trick you." she swayed a little on her feet and caught herself on the door. "Frankly, I'm not sober enough for that."
"Forward!" Paimon slammed a shoulder into his back. "Its cold out here and Paimon's freezing!"
He stumbled. Lisa pounced, latched onto his coat, and hauled him inside.
.0.0.0.
The attack came just as Venti knew it would.
He'd always know the Fatui would track him down sooner or later. It was not a matter of if, but merely when. This far into Liyue, he'd hoped they would let him be; that they would simply follow the storm and ignore him completely in the countryside. It was not to be.
Of course, he was well prepared.
When he first saw the shadows crest the hill, he made no move to flee. He simply continued to sit beneath his tree. Why wouldn't he?
It was only when the agents drew closer that he finally deigned to rise.
"How chained to your daily toiling you are." he stood from a fallen log with a sigh. "Must you intrude on a bard's leisure time? After all, its more than language and poetry that flow with the wind...
An agent flicked a knife at him.
The knife shattered...with every bone in that arm.
Barbatos smiled as the man topped back with a shriek of pain. It was not a nice smile.
"Come now," he flicked a hand out, summoning his bow. "Did you really think I would make it that easy? If you want me that badly, you'll have to work for it~!"
(.0.0.0.)
Naruto woke to an unfamiliar ceiling.
Creme-colored, all too ordinary, really, nothing to worry about. The initial raw panic -and the pain of a hangover!- was muffled by the soft sensation of a warm body spooning into his side. He felt slim arms enfold him, the warmth of someone's breath against his neck as they slept peacefully.
The wayward warrior exhaled sharply through his nose in a short, aggravated huff.
Please don't be who I think it is, please don't be who I think it is...
His eyes flitted left, now right, taking in his surroundings at a glance.
It was a modest room all things considered, just the sort one might expect from a refined lady. All maroon and creme colors, with little in the way of furnishings beyond the bed, an oak nightstand and a pair of cushioned chairs. He found Paimon sprawled out atop one such chair, all but swaddled in blankets, dozing sleepily. A thin line of drool ran from her mouth as she muttered about food.
Which meant...!
Against his better judgement, Naruto rolled over and looked down. Sure enough, he found Lisa's sleeping face tucked into his chest. He looked lower. Huh. Still clothed for the most part. That dissapointed him somehow, but for the life of him he couldn't figure out why. He looked up, squinting as dapled sunlight poured in through a nearby window. Morning, then. Where had the time gone? And how did he end up here?
"Don't look at me. I wasn't the one who had too much wine."
Lisa stirred against him before he could answer. Sleepy grass green eyes fluttered open and blinked back at him. Widened now, as she realized where they were. They weren't...undressed per se, but their clothes were certainly rumpled enough to suggest something had occurred. Something he couldn't remember.
Naruto offered a sheepish smile. "Morning...?"
Shock faded, replaced by amusement. She leaned in kissed his neck. "Morning yourself."
"So we didn't...?"
"No, I think not." She laughed. "It'll take more than one date, dear." said smile faded once she realized what she was still wearing. "Ugh, slept in my clothes." her brow furrowed. "Not cute at all. Help me with this, would you?" She turned and presented her back to him; belatedly, he realized what she intended. Lisa wriggled her hips. "Its a pain for me to reach."
Unzipping her corset? Wasn't that a little...intimate?
His hands betrayed him, the traitors.
"So...what now?"
"Now?" she shook herself free and stood, presenting him with a tantalizing flash of dark lingerie when she paced away. "I'm going to catch a quick shower, then I'll be off to visit my student." her hips swayed as she glided toward what he could only assume was the bathroom door. "Care to join me?" a hand ran down her flank. "I promise I'll be gentle.
...I'll pass this time."
"Your loss." she shrugged. "Feel free to help yourself to the pantry downstairs in the meantime. Take whatever you need.
His stomach growled treacherously. "Might just do that...
"Good. After, you could stay here for a while." A lonely jade eye stole over her shoulder. "With me. You said you needed a place to stay, after all. I won't even charge you rent."
Suspicion reared its ugly head in Naruto's heart. It was almost too good to be true. Certainly too convenient. Lisa wasn't simply going out of her way to accommodate him; it felt like she was trying to seduce him outright. If so she was doing a fair job of it.
The beginnings of a frown touched his lips. "Jean didn't put you up to this?"
Her hands glided across his shirt, and for a moment he thought she'd drag him in for a kiss.
"Nope." she held back and gave him a nudge instead. "I'm not going to jump you, silly. Now shoo. I need to clean up."
In the end Naruto was left to his own devices downstairs.
Lisa kept a tidy, if cramped kitchen. Minutes passed as he rifled through the cabinets. There was fruit and grains aplenty, but nothing he could make off the top of his head. Perhaps that was for the best. He'd never been a terribly good cook. That was a skill he'd need to cultivate, and soon, if he wanted to survive in this world.
Giving in, he settled for a score of apples and oranges,
"This should do. Might need more once we put this place behind us...
A sleepy yawn cut through a muggy Mondstadt morning, informing him of Paimon's awakening.
"We're leaving already? But Paimon's still sleepy!" He saw her drifted down the steps, heard yawn anew a she scrubbed at her bleary eyes. "See?!" she hovered after them, looking about as haggard as he felt. "That chair wasn't comfy at all! And we haven't had breakfast yet-
Naruto plugged her mouth with an apple. Paimon made happy Paimon noises as he smiled. "Feeling more awake now?"
"Maybe!" She muttered as she gobbled it down. "Can Paimon have seconds?"
"Of course you can." he chortled. "As soon as we get back. Oh, and you're buying this time."
"Cheapskate!"
"Now, now," Lisa sashayed past -that was a quick shower!- adjusting her blouse and donning her hat once more. "Its just a quick trip." the faint scent of shampoo tickled his nose as she strutted by, toweling off her damp hair. We'll be back before you know it."
...hmmph!" Paimon huffed and crossed both arms before her chest, yielding at last. "Fine, but Paimon wants to sleep in a real bed this time! "
Naruto clamped a hand around his mouth to stifle a smile. She really was too easy to tease. Almost made him feel bad. He'd get her a gift to make up for it.
"I'll warn you in advance, "The librarian looked over her shoulder as she marched to the door, "Razor's a little odd...
(.0.0.0.)
As luck would have it, Lisa's so-called pupil found them.
They'd only just made it to the outlands known as Wolvendom when Naruto felt his sixth sense tingle. Not from any such ill intent mind you -he detected none- but rather the sudden realization that someone was there, a presence that hadn't been there before, shadowing them. And against that presence, a faint spark in the back of his mind.
Was he able to sense Visions, now?
"Oh!" Lisa perked up, pulling him from his musings. "There he is."
A rough looking boy materialized from the undergrowth only a yard to their right. Naruto took him in at a glance, Red eyes and gray-silver hair, all wrapped up in faded leathers. The youth seemed hesitant at first, but one look at Lisa asuaged his fears and had him stepping forward, bold as a wolf.
"Purple teacher!" His voice was quick, if rough. "You came!"
Paimon squeaked. "Where did he come from?!"
Naruto's brow shot into his hairline. "This is your student?"
"You smell strange." the young lad sniffed once. "Like fox, but also...wind...and sadness?"
Something came unspooled in Naruto's chest as the boy regarded him intently. As if he were waiting for something. But what? Blue eyes met red. Neither budged. Paimon and Lisa looked on, yet neither dared speak for fear of breaking the sudden tension. Finally, Razor took a step forward. Naruto mirrored him.
.
..
...and then!
His hand snapped out. "Paw!"
Razor's hand slapped down into his.
Naruto couldn't help but grin. "That settles it! You're adopted!"
Lisa touched one hand to her cheek. "You know, I've always had a thing for single fathers...
"Oh! Those wild red eyes narrowed, noting his close proximity to Lisa. "Teacher's mate, then. Lupical!"
Paimon squeaked. "Oi!"
Lisa hummed and tugged him closed. "We're working on that~!"
"Wait. Naruto made to reply, but the faint scent of smoke reached his nose. "Do you smell that?" He looked back, alarmed. Cherry red light danced in blue eyes in the distance, smoke rising high into the air. "Why is the forest on fire?!"
Razor groaned into one hand. "The red Burny girl is here again...
Naruto cocked a brow. "Red burny girl? Who's that?
Lisa winced. "I believe I know who she is...
A/N: Gee, I wonder who that is.
Once more, the Embers rule remains.
If folks don't like this story? Poof! Gone! Deleted for keeps! That's no joke, folks. I'm so busy these days; basically, I don't have time off. Not anymore. My free time is limited and as such, I can't afford to focus on something folks don't like. Reviews keep me writing in these times, and keep the daily updates flowing. Silence...silence only hurts. I hate having to beg for feedback, but without it...well, it feels like I'm not making an impact.
Right then, as ever, Reviews are love, Reviews are Life.
Reviews keep me safe from any and all strife.
So in the immortal words of Atlas...
...review, Would You Kindly?
Every bit helps out!
Next time: To be a God
(FUTURE! Previews?)
Some are very far out indeed...
Hope you enjoy the taste of what's to come. HOLD ONTO YOUR HATS!
"Fish blasting!"
Naruto sighed "That's not how you do it."
He held up his hands toward the water. Light built. "This is how you do it."
"Human lives. So very...fleeting.
"The abyss will have its day. One way...or another."
"Rouse not the wrath of a wind...lets it tear you limb from limb."
They were cold. Unmoving. Unliving. Eyes lifeless and vacant.
"No, no, no! C'mon! Get up!"
Naruto turned his head. "You've done it now...
The gnosis sang in his chest, echoing his scream.
"I won't...let you...GET AWAY WITH THIS!"
His eyes blazed with light.
"I won't let you!
A roar split the world.
It was the last sound they heard.
~Nz.