I'm actually surprised by the sheer amount of interest Fuse and TNT's first chapter got. Then again, considering Tina's popularity, well...maybe I shouldn't be.
Just keep this in mind: there's no guarantee whatsoever that this story will become a full story. I hope it does, and I have interesting plans for the plot, once it gets over the hump of exposition and onto the meat of things. I do have a new possible idea for a Harry/Angel story. It's similar in many regards to Regaining Hope, but I think the story has better potential for character development. Watch this space...
FUSE AND TNT
CHAPTER 2:
ENTRAPMENT
Transcript of ECHO conversation between Zane Flynt and Sparky Flynt, 24/3/2990.
ZANE: Top o' the mornin', Sparky. It's not like you to call me, boyo.
SPARKY: Yeah, well…look…Dad's dead.
ZANE: Yeah, so? He's been dead for months, boyo.
SPARKY: What?! Don't you care?!
ZANE: Of course I don't care! The man was an arse, even if he was your father.
SPARKY: But he was your brother!
ZANE: Half-brother. It's only thanks to me Mum that I had a first name that wasn't a damned title. And if I recall, he treated you like shite anyway.
SPARKY: That's beside the point! The Vault Hunters got him!
ZANE: And they got your older uncle too, and I didn't hear you crying for him.
SPARKY: I was! Until Dad beat it out of me.
ZANE: …I shouldn't be surprised, I really shouldn't. The thing is, these Vault Hunters took on Handsome Jack and won, to say nothing of that arse Piston. And they also killed Wilhelm and Nisha Kadam, both of whom were badasses before they became Vault Hunters on Elpis.
SPARKY: But don't you care?
ZANE: Care? Captain's idea of a greetings card was to send a hitsquad after me. It's fun taking apart those bozos, but that's not how family works. The Zafords were a better family than my brothers, and they were a bunch of vicious drunkards who got played by Ellie Hodunk and those Vault Hunters. So, let me ask you something: what makes a green kid like you think you can take on Vault Hunters who killed your father and uncle, both seasoned opponents?
SPARKY: I'm forming a group. The Victims of Vault Hunters group. We're going to ambush them when they're taking a holiday on Wam Bam Island for Fertility Day. And as you are a victim, given that Dad and Uncle Baron are dead…
ZANE: (sighs) …Listen to me, Sparky, okay? This is me tryin' to prevent you from committin' suicide. Baron was an arse. Okay, he was smart enough to be recruited by Dahl to be their warden for their convict miners, and he was smart enough to head up the convicts when Dahl turned tail and abandoned Pandora. But those so-called medicinal blunts he smoked fucked with his head too much. He was up against a Siren, a deserter from the Crimson Lance, a guy who won a sniping contest with a revolver, and the guy who became the future Slab King.
SPARKY: But he…
ZANE: Your dad was even worse. He loved torturin' and killin' too much, and thought terrorising a pisshole like Liar's Berg was his idea of fun, and that a reward from Handsome Jack would come without strings attached. He got done in by another Siren, another deserter, this one from Dahl, a not-so-tame Psycho, a dual-wielding prodigy, the best goddamned ninja assassin, and a teenaged robotics prodigy. He'd torture little kids, like you, and the only reason I didn't put paid to the fucker myself was that I never found out until after he was dead. Don't weep for the stupid, boyo, you'll be dehydrated before the day is out. Instead, actually find somethin' better to do with your life than being a bandit.
SPARKY: …I thought you'd understand, Uncle Flynt! Instead, you're a fucking yellow Zaford bastard! That boy of yours made you soft and cowardly! He isn't family! I am! And when I'm done with the Vault Hunters, I'm gonna make sure you pay for turning your back on your family! That brat is dead!
ZANE: (a threatening tone after a long pause) Watch who you mouth off to, boyo. I've forgotten more about killing than you'll ever learn, and if you threaten Harry like that…well, he's a good student, so I don't think he'll need the help, but…if he does die, there's no corner of the galaxy that will hide you from me, you little shite. And what your daddy did to you will feel like affectionate little tickles, you braindead brat.
SPARKY: (sounding like he just pissed himself) Is…is that supposed to scare me?
ZANE: Yep. And believe me, you'd better pray to whatever shitty god exists in this universe that the Vault Hunters kill you for your stupidity, because if they don't, I will. Family ain't just ties of blood, but of choice, and you just threatened family. And unless you take back that threat, you ain't family anymore.
SPARKY: W-Well, screw you too, Zane! You ain't family anymore, you drunken, Irish fuck! (disconnects)
ZANE: Eh, I've been called worse. Now…let's see…ah, here we go.
(dialling tone)
LILITH: This number…Zane Flynt, is that you?
ZANE: Top o' the mornin', Lilith. How's me boy doing with your crazy girl?
LILITH: Actually, I think Harry's growing on her. I was going to call you about a job, involving some new intel on a Vault coming out of Prosperity Junction. You said you were interested in doing some Vault Hunting after we contacted you.
ZANE: Still am. I was busy doing that work on Promethea during your latest stoush, but…I'm interested. By the way, I've got some info for ya. Not quite pro-bono, but we'll work out a decent price. Now, I told you I was fine with the fact that you iced Baron and your new friends cooked Captain's goose, but…me nephew, Captain's son, he's got a buzz-axe to grind for the newcomers. He's apparently going to attack you guys when you're on holiday to Wam Bam Island for Fertility Day. Dunno why they call it that instead of, y'know, Easter. Bloody mega-corps, royally sodomising our holidays…Mercenary Day should be Christmas, goddamit! Or Hanukkah, or whatever your holiday of choice is…
LILITH: (chuckles) Never change, Zane. And thanks for the info. I'm grateful for the questioning you and Harry put Athena through. I'm…glad you did it instead of me. I wasn't in a good headspace at the time. Roland…
ZANE: Yeah…I know, Lilith. Roland was a good man, probably one of the most upstanding on this shithole of a world. Athena is a professional, but she wants out of that life, and after hearing about Angel, she regrets not running Jack through with her sword. Besides, if you went and kidnapped her, you'd never get invited to the wedding. Anyway, I'll be done with my business soon. I think I'll be movin' into Sanctuary full time after this. There are worse bases of operations. I'll see you soon, okay?
LILITH: Got it, Zane. Harry misses you.
ZANE: I know…
Harry knew that Tina's reaction would be, if not quite predictable, then explosive. Sometimes, it was like the smouldering fire of a fuse, but it was more often the blast of an explosion. "Uh, excuse me, Mr I Look Like a Hyperion Corpse in a Suit? I thought I just heard you say my man Flynty-boy was roped into this thingy and he'd lose his magic if he don't compete?"
Oh dear. Her tone, while relatively quiet, held reserves of pent-up rage. He remembered the first time he heard that tone, when she roped him into the first Tea Party he had attended. When he saw Flesh-Stick get electrocuted. True, Flesh-Stick was a nasty piece of work, and it wasn't the first time Harry had seen someone electrocuted, what with his father's work, but still…he was worried he was going to smell ozone, burning flesh and cooked excrement before long.
"…What did you call me?" the bureaucrat demanded. "You should mind your language, girl."
BARTY CROUCH SENIOR
Nice Suit. Bad Attitude. Worse Moustache.
"It be English, Rakkshit, and my name is Lady Tina of Blowupyourassheim," Tina retorted. "But I agree, what we have here is a failure to commune-knee-Kate. You just said Harry here had to compete in this thing he never entered, or lose his magic. So, am I correct in assuming that you Skaglicks FUCKED UP SOMETHING FIERCE?!"
Tina whipped out her Torgue pistol, and wands were drawn. Harry, quick as a flash, pulled out his Maliwan shock pistol (an old one, made back when their guns didn't suck balls and didn't need to be charged up before firing, though he added a taser function cannibalised from a Vladof shock pistol) and fired into the ceiling. The loud report of the gun did the trick of startling the participants in this Truxican standoff about to devolve into bloodshed, and because it was a shock weapon, little debris came down. Gently placing a hand on Tina's shoulder, he whispered into her ear, "Let me handle this for now, TNT."
"…Okay, girl. You got this…but if they start shootin', so do I," Tina whispered back.
"Got it." Harry cleared his throat. "Now, I'm a little out of touch. Who are you?"
"I am Barty Crouch, and…"
"Oh, right, I remember you now. Former head of the DMLE…and you got…'promoted' to…Head of the Department for International Cooperation, I think it was." Looking at the rather rotund, stocky and fatuous-looking man in godawful wasp-striped robes, Harry remarked, "Ludo Bagman, of all people…he's in the Ministry now? Marvellous. Now…you lot just abducted me from where I was about to have a very nice lunch, and I have to confess, I'm a little peckish, and a little annoyed. I want a slightly more detailed explanation other than 'you've been shanghaied into a tournament on pain of death, or worse'. Because that's pretty heavy stuff to lay on a guy you kidnapped, along with his girlfriend."
Crouch bristled, and Bagman said, "Now, now, don't be like that, Mr Potter. You knew the risks when you entered yourself into the Tri-Wizard Tournament."
LUDO BAGMAN
More like Lu-Derp Tea-Bagman.
Harry stared at him. He could feel his restraint dribbling away on account of this man's stupidity. He looked to Crouch. "Did he just seriously…?"
Crouch, who clearly had just enough self-preservation instincts to realise Bagman had pissed off someone who was dangerous, nodded grimly. Tina, meanwhile, snarled, "Oi, Flynty-boy didn't enter himself for this pissy little tournament! Which probably has nothing on the one Torgue did, or Moxxi held in the Underdome!"
"Which is beside the point, I'm afraid," Dumbledore said, having the good grace to look solemn and apologetic. Harry wasn't wholly sure he was buying it, he'd been suspicious of Dumbledore before the incident that led to him fleeing to what turned out to be Pandora in the far future anyway. "I'm sorry, Harry, but it appears things have become complicated. Could you please bring yourself and…your girlfriend with you?"
"She can stay here," Bagman said. "Is she even a witch?"
"Well, she's definitely got a magical body," Harry said cheerfully, and he didn't even care about the semi-playful swat Tina gave him across the back of his head. But then, his eyes narrowed. "She stays with me. This is not negotiable. This is more for your own safety than hers."
Before anyone else could say anything, Dumbledore said, "She can go with you. Just…please keep her out of trouble."
"Old dude, my last name is Trouble. My middle name is Nitroglycerin. Tina Nitroglycerin Trouble, which spells TNT!," Tina exclaimed.
Harry escorted Tina through the door the others indicated…and when he got through, he blinked in recognition of one of the people in the waiting room. "Cedric? Cedric Diggory?"
The handsome teenager, along with a rather surly, hunched-over teenager of the same age, and a rather beautiful blonde girl, looked up in shock. Cedric's eyes widened in recognition. "Harry? Is that you? They said you were dead along with Remus Lupin when those terrorists attacked!"
CEDRIC DIGGORY
Not a Vampire or Batman.
"It's a long story, Cedric. This is Tina. Tina, this is Cedric Diggory. While he wasn't exactly a friend, I knew him because my biological father invited him over to dos at the Potter Manor. And…um, sorry I don't know who you two are."
"Viktor Krum," spoke the boy, his voice thick and husky with a Slavic accent.
VIKTOR KRUM
Prefers Bookworms, Not Fangirls.
The haughty girl, when she spoke, had a French accent. "Fleur Delacour. Excuse me, but…why have they sent you in here? Did something happen?"
FLEUR DELACOUR
Wishes Guys Would Stop Drooling Over Her.
Tina shrugged. "Yeah. Some asswipe somehow roped my squeeze into this tournament of yours, and we got abducted by…some magic thing."
On Cedric's look, Harry said, "She's a Muggle, but she's aware of my magic. She's also…interesting. As in Lovegood levels of interesting."
Cedric nodded in understanding. "And…what do you know about the Tri-Wizard Tournament?"
"Bugger-all, unfortunately. So, could you fill me in?"
"…The Tri-Wizard Tournament was a tournament between Hogwarts, Beauxbatons, and Durmstrang, where their finest students were chosen to participate. It was discontinued centuries ago after a few…accidents, but it was revived by Barty Crouch and Ludo Bagman, albeit with more safety measures…allegedly. To tell the truth, I'm a little worried given that Bagman's organising it."
"Wai-wai-wait! Hold up! Bow-battons? Damn-strong?" Tina asked.
"Beauxbatons is in France, which means Ms Delacour is most likely to be from there," Harry said. "Durmstrang is in Scandinavia somewhere, but they take students from Eastern Europe as well, isn't that right, Mr Krum?"
"Da. You do not know me?"
"I'm sorry, but should I?"
"I am the star Seeker for the national Bulgarian Quidditch team," Krum said, his expression filled with mixed emotions.
"Huh. Sorry, I've been out of the loop with the wizarding world for almost a decade now," Harry said. "Star Seeker, huh? Impressive at your age. I did a bit of Seeker training myself, though I've been out of practise for a while."
"Excuse me, but…do you two have guns with you?" Fleur asked, looking concerned. "Why are you armed with Muggle weapons?"
"Again, long story," Harry said. But before he could say anything further, a group of people entered the room. Dumbledore, Crouch and Bagman entered, followed by some familiar faces, and some unfamiliar ones. One in particular he was glad to see, a stern-faced older woman. "Professor McGonagall!"
"…Harry? Harry Potter?" Minerva McGonagall asked, surprised.
PROFESSOR MINERVA MCGONAGALL
Feline Fine for Her Age.
"Um, it's Harry Flynt now. Long story."
"I thought you were dead, along with Remus."
"…Sorry, Moony is dead. He bought me time to get away from his attackers, Professor."
The next comment came from a more unwelcome corner, though the comment itself was not an unwelcome one. "So, you divested yourself of Potter's name?" the greasy-haired man with a big conk and dark, cold eyes asked. "In favour of the Flint family?"
PROFESSOR SEVERUS SNAPE
Hates Happy Children, Gryffindors, and Shampoo.
"Umm, not that Flint family. F-L-Y-N-T, Flynt with a 'Y'. Though I have to ask, what the hell is Mad-Eye Moody doing here?" He indicated a man who, charitably, could be described as being sewn together from a Skag den's leavings, one of his eyes artificial and roving around erratically.
"I'm teaching Defence Against the Dark Arts, Potter…Flynt…" His only human eye narrowed as he noted Harry's tension. "Hmm, practising Constant Vigilance it seems…good…"
ALASTOR 'MAD-EYE' MOODY
CONSTANT VIGILANCE!
It was at this point that the rather tall and handsome woman who'd gone over to Fleur spoke up, demanding to know what was happening. This was, apparently, Madam Maxime, Headmistress of Beauxbatons, while the man in the goatee and looking vaguely Slavic was Karkaroff, Headmaster of Durmstrang. Harry tuned out most of the argument that ensued, keeping a hand on Tina's shoulder. He only started paying attention again when Moody claimed that he was entered by some other party, and even then, Harry only paid partial attention to the shitstorm of incriminations that followed.
Eventually, he said, when Karkaroff said Hogwarts now had two Champions, something that was unfair, he held up a finger. "Actually, no. I won't be competing for Hogwarts. It's unfair to the other contestants. Cedric deserves to be the sole Hogwarts contestant, and Miss Delacour and Mr Krum should be the sole contestants of their respective schools. So, if I'm stuck in this tournament, and frankly, I think that's a load of shite right there, I will be representing a fourth party."
"And what school will you be representing?" Crouch asked. He'd already given the date for the First Task, whatever that was, as well as a press conference called the Weighing of the Wands.
"Not a school. I will be representing the Crimson Raiders of Pandora."
"Crimson Raiders?" Bagman asked. "Is that…a Quidditch team? I think there's a Crimson Raiders in Australia?"
"There's no such team," Karkaroff scoffed.
Harry gave a rather wan smile at that. "Actually, Crimson Raiders would be a great name for a Quidditch team. Look, I'll leave you to it. Seeing since I am stuck in this tournament…I'll have to deal with it. Hopefully, it won't be the Pandora way. Professor McGonagall, would you kindly come with me and my lovely beau?"
McGonagall blinked, before she looked to Dumbledore, who nodded. "Show them to suitable quarters, Minerva. I believe we can put off this talk until tomorrow morning."
Harry was relieved Dumbledore acquiesced so easily, but he followed McGonagall out, gently leading Tina away. He knew the volatile young woman was on the verge of exploding. Once they left the room, he felt keenly the eyes on him. McGonagall noticed this, and asked, "Harry…do you want to see your brother?"
"…No, not now. Later. And before you ask, I definitely do not want to see my biological father, nor Sirius Black."
"I'm not sure you'll have a choice in the matter, once the news spreads. Honestly, I am surprised to see you alive, albeit pleasantly so," McGonagall said, leading Harry out of the Great Hall.
"Wait, please," Harry said. As she halted, Harry gently grasped Tina's hand, and then McGonagall's, and then concentrated his magic into the pendant around his neck. McGonagall's question was stillborn on her lips when there was a flare of violet light…
…And they were elsewhere. A deep, dark underground chamber, lined with statues of vaguely insectoid creatures. And on the walls, there were murals of the same creatures, along with a recurring symbol, of a circle with a wedge in it, pointing up.
"Merlin…" McGonagall whispered. "Where are we?"
"Somewhere deep beneath Hogwarts," Harry said. "Mum first discovered it…but you knew about it. Mum told me she took you down here a few times."
"…Yes, but…she had it all lit up," McGonagall remarked. "It's been so long since I've been down here. But…she could never quite figure out what it was."
"Yeah, well, it's pretty obvious from where we're standing, Professor Minny," Tina said, looking around. "I've seen a few places that look like this shizz. Hell, Flynty-boy showed me the one where he came out."
"…Came out?" McGonagall asked.
"…Professor, Mum told me that, as much as you are beholden to Dumbledore, she trusted you, almost as much as she trusted Moony," Harry said. "You can tell Dumbledore a suitably-edited version of events, but…I don't want him to know the full story."
McGonagall grimaced. "…I would be more offended, but…Lily said much the same thing. But…where have you been, Harry? And this place…what is it? And why are the pair of you in possession of Muggle weapons? Weapons that, if I'm not mistaken, look somewhat more advanced than anything they normally have."
"I'm getting to it. To start with, I know what this place is now. It's a Vault, a facility left behind by an alien species known as the Eridians."
"Alien…as in, from another world entirely?"
"Yep, Professor Minny," Tina chirped.
"I am Professor McGonagall, young lady, and I…"
"Professor, please. She likes you. She just gives nicknames to everyone. She's…had a bad childhood," Harry said. "Anyway…as to where I have been…it's a long story, but…I was on another world called Pandora…in the 30th Century. This Vault is how I got there. And I also found out what Mum was."
To her credit, McGonagall didn't dismiss the notion out of hand. She conjured some chairs from the surrounding materials, broken masonry, and sat down. "You mean…why she had those blue tattoos that appeared all of a sudden?"
"After she found that woman in stasis down here, yes. Mum was a Siren."
"…I believe I will hear the long version of that story, Harry. I think I may need to hear it…"
CHAPTER 2 ANNOTATIONS:
So, Harry and Tina are at Hogwarts, and they may have found an ally already. But wait…Lily was a Siren? She and Professor McGonagall found a Vault under Hogwarts? What the hell is going on?
Don't worry, there'll be answers coming soon…
No numbered annotations this time.