TW: Mention of miscarriage.
AN: I've never had a miscarriage. I don't know what that experience feels like. But I took great care into researching to make this chapter as realistic as possible. Enjoy and let me know what you think.
The ride to the hospital was perhaps the fastest Fitz had ever driven anywhere. With Olivia sprawled in the front seat next to him, moaning in pain, he struggled to keep his eyes on the road. After about twenty minutes, he pulled up at the valet entry and wordlessly handed the service agent his keys before grabbing Olivia and heading towards the ER with her. Once there, he filed Olivia's paperwork for her as a nurse triaged her – taking her vitals, date of birth, and noting her symptoms. After that, they sent her back to the waiting room to be called.
Fitz paced the halls back and forth as they waited, while Olivia sat in her chair; numb and fearing what she knew to be true.
Olivia hated hospitals. For some it was a place of new beginnings, new life. For others, it was a place of death. Cold, frigid, sickly scented, poorly lit and deafening hums. For Olivia, hospitals brought sorrows and anxiety.
Ten minutes later, her name was called and Olivia rigidly followed the nurse through a set of double doors with Fitz at her side. She confirmed her date of birth and last name. The nurse opened a drawer and pulled out a hospital gown for her to change into. The nurse then stepped out to give her some privacy. Looking down, Olivia realized she was bleeding through her pajama bottoms. Tears began to well in her eyes again. Immediately, Fitz was at her side, holding her.
"Baby, please don't cry." He rubbed her back and kissed her temple. "We don't know what's wrong yet."
But she did. In her soul she knew exactly what was wrong and she was devastated. Olivia wanted to retreat into her skin, make herself so small until she disappeared entirely. But that was not possible. So she wiped her tears and simply let Fitz help her undress.
Time seemed to have elapsed in slo-mo as strangers dropped in on her, each needing one thing or another from her. Olivia felt like a test subject, being poked and prodded. Blood drawn. Urine sample. Tissue sample. Ultrasounds. So many variations of "how are you feeling?" answered in the same monotonous way. Fine, thanks. She found the question idiotic. If she was fine, would she be here in this Godforsaken place?
At last, her attending physician walked in. And from the look on her face, Olivia knew it wasn't good news.
"Your blood work came back. Based on your HCG levels and our examinations, you've suffered a complete miscarriage. I'm so sorry for your loss."
And suddenly, Olivia was transported elsewhere. Outside of herself to a voyage in search of simpler times, happier times. There was an awful ringing in her ear and everything before her looked a blur. She fought to escape but she kept finding herself here, in this hell that was her reality. Tears streamed down her face and Fitz held her as her body shook with terror. No sounds left her mouth. Fitz was her anchor. He played a dual role as her comforter and advocate – allowing her to selfishly check out and sink further into her grief.
She was on birth control. How could this happen? - A classic but unfortunate case of failed birth control. Her IUD was shifted out of place, creating a unique opportunity for her to fall pregnant.
How far along was she? - 10 weeks.
What does this mean for future pregnancies? - We have no reasons to believe that she won't be able to get pregnant again. We can refer her out to a specialist for continued conversations and observations.
Does she need further testing? - Not at this point. We recommend complete rest and reduce stress.
What can we expect over the next few days? - She can expect some bleeding and cramping. We will write her a prescription for muscle relaxers. Emotionally, she might be out of it for a bit as she processes. We can also recommend a counselor if she needs. If anything out of the ordinary occurs, she is to return back to here or follow up with her PCP.
Is she going to be okay? - We hope so.
When can she go home? - We'll keep her for another hour and then we'll process her discharge papers.
Thirty minutes later, her failed IUD was replaced and Olivia slipped on period underwear and clean scrubs that were provided by her nurse. They explained her aftercare to her, and discharged her with a written prescription for muscle relaxers and orders to take it easy for the next few weeks. And just like that, one of the worst nights of her life was simplified by a period. An end before a beginning.
Fuck hospitals.
As they waited in front of the hospital for Fitz's truck, he hugged her tightly. His chin rested on top of her head as he caressed her back with gentle rubs.
"What do you need, baby?" He asked softly.
When she didn't respond, he tilted her head up to meet his eyes. Olivia could see how absolutely wrecked and drained he was from the past three hours. But he was putting her first. Above the avalanche of overwhelming emotions that was threatening to pull him under. Above himself. Because he was the best part of her. And she had failed him. The thought was enough to completely shatter what little remained of Olivia's heart. He kissed her forehead and she folded in his arms.
Olivia's lips quivered and hot tears flooded her face. But he was kind. He was patient. He was the best person she knew. He didn't rush her. He just stood with her and held her as he waited for an answer on how to bring her comfort.
"I want my mom." She cried.
"Okay."
The drive to the Hamptons was doleful – empty roads, quiet lips and heavy hearts. They arrived at the Pope's residence in under two hours. The sunrise was just beginning to stretch across the sky, but its beauty seemed rather dull compared to other days. The morning birds didn't croon in their usual upbeat, melodious way. Nature was mourning with them.
Olivia rang the bell and as soon as Maya opened the door, she collapsed into her mother's arms, wailing inconsolably.
"Mommy!"
"Olivia, what's wrong, my love?" Maya tried to pull away to look at her but Olivia had such a tight grip on her. She didn't want to be seen. Maya grew more worried. "Oh sweetheart, you're breaking my heart. Tell mommy what's wrong."
Olivia's cries intensified. The entire scene was truly a mother's worst nightmare. It was Maya's worst nightmare. Seeing her only child in so much pain and not knowing what caused her hurt or how to console her.
"Okay. Okay. Just let it out." Maya rubbed Olivia back and shushed her.
Olivia's small body shuddered with sobs and Maya felt her heart shatter even more at the awful sounds of distress leaving her daughter. She held onto Olivia tightly and just rocked with her. Kissing her face and running her fingers through her daughter's hair. Maya's concerned eyes met Fitz's for some form of an explanation and when he started tearing up too, Maya knew then, that whatever happened – it must've been incredibly devastating and she needed to be a rock for both of them.
Dominic soon found them when he heard all the crying. He was confused to see his daughter and son-in-law in such a state.
"What's going on?"
Dominic looked at Fitz and the poor kid looked so pale and seemed like he's aged twenty years in a single night. Dom pulled Fitz in with Olivia and Maya and the foursome just hugged. Each unknowingly having been through the same experience at different times in their lives. They drew strength from each other. Three little birds crooned: Every little thing is gonna be alright.
After a while, Maya made them all come in and took Olivia upstairs to her childhood bedroom. Maya crawled under the covers with her and just held her for a really long time until she stopped crying. She kissed Olivia's forehead and traced her perfect face with maternal caresses. All Maya saw was her precious little girl. A bittersweet smile crossed her face as she wiped Olivia's tears away.
"Sweetpea. I'm starting to worry." Maya spoke softly. "Think you've calmed down enough to tell me what's going on?"
Olivia sat up and immediately felt dizzy. She grabbed some tissues to blow her nose and dab away at her tears. She looked up at Maya who was sitting next to her, eyes fixed on her with the patience of a saint.
"Fitz and I were pregnant. And this morning, I lost our baby."
Saying the words out loud made them so real and Olivia immediately burst into tears again. Maya gathered her in her arms again as tears of her own began to form. Fuck!
"Oh sweetpea. I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry." Maya cried.
Olivia held onto her mother's forearm as tears fell. "How can I miss someone I never even knew?" She asked. "I didn't know, and now all I can picture are the things I know I would've looked forward to. I can't breathe."
"I know. I know, baby." Maya stroked her hair and kissed her cheek. "I'm sorry. You give me all of that pain and sadness. I can take it."
They both cried. For the experiences and the dreams that shattered. For the life that could've been. For a journey that ended too abruptly.
Once Olivia was calm again, Maya asked follow up questions.
"How far along were you?"
"Ten weeks." Olivia answered.
A knock sounded on the door, interrupting them. It was Fitz. Olivia shook her head at her mom, letting her know she didn't want him to come in just yet. Maya walked to the door and cracked the door a smidge. She stepped out into the hall to join Fitz.
"Hi sweetie. She just fell asleep. Can you come back in a little bit?"
"Is she okay?" Fitz asked.
"She will be." Maya reached over and stroked his cheek. "You will be too."
"Okay, thank you." Fitz smiled lightly but it didn't reach his eyes. "Will you tell her I love her and that I'll be back?"
"I will honey." Maya reached up and kissed his cheek. "It's all gonna be alright. I promise."
Fitz leaned into her touch like a lifeline, willing her words to be true. "Okay."
Maya watched him saunter down the hallway towards the stairs. He didn't look one bit okay. How could he be?
"He says he loves you and he'll be back." Maya relayed the message. "I think he would have liked to tell you that himself?"
Olivia stared ahead, a pained look on her face. She felt ashamed. Here's this man who loves her so fucking much, and gives her everything inside of him. And she was pushing him away because she couldn't stand herself at the moment.
"I don't want him to see me like this." She shook her head. "He wants children so badly and I failed him, mom. My body failed him. We weren't consciously trying, but we would have been so happy. But instead…" Olivia didn't think she had any more tears left to cry. But somehow, new tears poured out of her in waves. She was afraid she'd never stop. "Mom, how am I supposed to look at him? I'm broken. What if he leaves me?"
Maya reached over and grabbed Olivia's hand. She entwined their fingers and looked up at her daughter. She knew what she was about to say might not sink in for Olivia for a while. But she was going to try her best to drill it into her until she believed it.
"Vie, you need to stop, sweetie." Maya spoke softly. She tilted Olivia's chin up and looked into her daughter's eyes. She saw pure sadness reflected back at her. "You're placing blame on yourself for something that couldn't be helped. Trust me when I say, I know exactly how you're feeling right now. You can grieve. You can feel sad. You can feel angry. But you're not allowed to hate or blame yourself for this. I won't have it."
Olivia's eyebrows tightened as she sniffled. "How could you possibly know?"
Maya shrugged. "Because I've been where you are before." She empathized.
Olivia gasped, a look of confusion and dread marring her beautiful features. Maya smoothed her fingers between her brows to release the tension there.
"Don't frown. You'll have wrinkles." Maya chastised.
"Mom..." Olivia glared at her.
"I love you so much because you were so wanted. You are quite literally my miracle baby." Maya regaled. "I spent practically my entire pregnancy with you worried about the shoe yet to drop. It wasn't until I was six months along that I allowed myself to bond with you and envision you. The fear from the three miscarriages I had before you were finally born had me in such a shackle."
The words floored Olivia as she realized what her mother was trying to convey to her. Maya had quite literally been there before. And through her grief, she eventually emerged and she was everything.
Olivia lunged into Maya's arms, hugging her fiercely. "Oh mommy. I didn't know. Why didn't you ever tell me?"
Maya made some adjustments and they lay back down, Olivia's head on her chest as she played with her hair.
"It was a long time ago." Maya answered, kissing her forehead. If she thought about it too much, she could be transported back to those moments. And she remembered her own mother, the late and formidable Giselle Lewis doing the same thing for her that she was doing for Olivia.
Maya shook her head. Life had a twisted sense of humor. Nevertheless, she found strength to continue her story, hoping that Olivia would impart some wisdom that will make this sad experience more bearable to heal through.
"It was hard, it was painful and it took me a while, but I eventually got through it. I didn't do it alone though." She looked down to find Olivia hanging on to every word. "I wanted to shut your father out too. Protect him from my grief. But it was our grief. Our loss." She put extra emphasis on the words, hoping Olivia understood. Olivia's doe eyes softened, which told Maya she was indeed hearing her.
"I even tried to divorce your father after the last miscarriage." Maya laughed as she recalled the memory. She thought she was going to die a barren old maid. But there was still hope for him. She wanted Dominic happy, even if that happiness no longer included her.
Olivia couldn't imagine what her mother was telling her. Her parents… divorced. That sounded made up. She snorted. "Mommy! You didn't really try to dump my dad?"
Maya rolled her eyes. "Relax daddy's girl. Jeez." She teased. "I really did give him divorce papers. But chile, he ain't wanna go nowhere. He just kept showing up. That stubborn, handsome son of a bitch. God, I love him."
"I'm glad he did." Olivia smiled. It was the first real one all day.
Maya kissed her forehead.. "Me too, because otherwise we wouldn't have made it through or had you. Please don't make the same mistakes I've made."
Olivia sighed deeply. Understanding washing over her.
"That man loves you, Livia. And if Fitz is anything like your father, he'll bulldoze through this wall you're already putting up." Maya said.
Olivia pouted. How could her mother read her down like this?
Maya scoffed. "I birthed you, little girl. I know you inside out." She answered the unasked question on Olivia's mind. "You need to let him be there with you, Vie. If you want your relationship to survive this loss, you can't shelter him from your pain. Relationships are hard work. You can't only let him in for the good parts. What happens to you happens to him. Let him see you. He can handle it. Trust him."
"Thanks mom." Olivia looked up at her twin. "I don't know what I would do without you."
"Apparently I try to divorce your father without you. So let's never find out." Maya joked.
Both women laughed. It was hearty. It was healing. It was exactly what Olivia needed after this hellacious night she had.
"I love you, Livia." Maya said.
"I love you too, momma." Olivia responded.
Silence filled the room as mother and daughter drifted into their thoughts quietly. Every now and again, Olivia would feel a cramp and hold her mom a bit tighter and Maya would simply rub her back.
"Wanna eat some breakfast?" Maya asked.
Olivia shook her head. "Not hungry."
Maya already knew that's the response she was going to get, but it was worth a try. It was just after seven. She'd try again in a few hours. But for now, they just laid in each other's arms. Olivia felt soothed by the rhythm of her mother's beating heart and the love she felt being wrapped in her arms. It was enough to put her mind at ease for a bit. It was enough to calm her sorrows. Her eyes gradually grew heavy until they fluttered shut.
It had been an emotionally exhausting morning. It didn't take long for Maya to fall asleep as well.
Dominic Pope carefully cracked the door to his daughter's bedroom, only to be met with the most heart warming sight. Her favorite girls were asleep. He tiptoed into the room and tucked them both under the blanket for maximum comfort. Neither budged. He was glad. He placed a kiss on his daughter's forehead and lightly kissed his wife's lips. He tiptoed out just as quietly, shutting the door behind him.
He went downstairs, intending on pouring himself a second cup of coffee when he saw Fitz heading for the door.
He felt for the kid. Loving a Pope woman was both simultaneously exhilarating and completely heartbreaking at times. It was all in their eyes. And Dominic felt even sadder for this pain his daughter was in. He knew exactly what Fitz was going through. What that kind of loss, no matter at what stage, could do to a man.
"Hey son. Where are you headed?" Dominic asked.
Fitz turned around at the sound of his father-in-law's voice. Damn it. His plan was to sneak out inconspicuously to go weep somewhere. He just needed to clear his head and process.
"Back to the city." Fitz answered. "I-I need to go back to the city. She needs things. Her clothes, pads, her prescriptions. I need to clean up the apartment."
Dominic nodded. He knew a wounded man when he saw one. He could tell that Fitz was one inconvenience away from losing his shit. He had no business being behind a wheel right now. Dom made the decision to join Fitz to keep an eye on him and offer a silent shoulder. He wasn't with all that toxic masculinity bullshit. Fitz was gonna break down at some point. And he wanted to be there to pick him up.
"I hear you. Mind if I tag along for a ride? I've been meaning to see a friend that way." Dom said.
Fitz knew he was lying but he didn't have it in him to fight this. "Okay."
"I'll drive!" Dom said excitedly.
Their first stop was a Starbucks. Both men ordered their coffees black and extra hot. They listened to the American rock radio station the whole way there. Fitz didn't utter a word. He just stared out the window, looking a million miles away. Dominic understood.
Morning rush hour traffic was shit, but Dom weaved through the hustle bustle with finesse and pretty soon, they were parked in the garage at Liv's apartment complex. Fitz led them to the apartment, tapping his leg anxiously when the elevator took too long to come down.
Once inside the apartment, he told Dom to make himself at home and he disappeared to the bedroom. Fitz walked straight to the closet and busied himself with packing up a duffel bag. He didn't know how long Olivia wanted to stay at her parent's but he wanted her to have everything she needed. He packed comfort wear for her and a few jeans and nice sweaters. He packed her favorite pair of flats and shoved her whole cosmetic bag into the duffel. He packed her laptop. He also packed some clothes for himself too.
Next he went to the bathroom. That's when he was met with the gruesome scene in the bathroom. Dried clots of blood on their bathroom floors from when Olivia ran out to wake him. The sight gave him pause and he swallowed the thick lump in his throat that was threatening to choke him. He closed his eyes and breathed. He counted. One, two, breathe. Three, four, breathe. He came back to himself and flushed the toilet. He opened the cabinet under the sink and found cleaning supplies. Gloves, bleach, brush. He sprayed, he scrubbed, he cleaned. Fumes got in his eyes but he didn't care. He got down on his knees and wiped and scrubbed until every surface around him was sterilized.
He jumped into the shower after. He washed himself under scalding hot water. He felt the water beat on his skin, he felt water in his eyes but he didn't know if it was his tears or the shower. He dressed, combed his hair and slipped on socks.
He faced the bed and instantly felt lost again. They were sleeping. How could someone lose a baby while they were sleeping? Sleeping was safe. His mind wandered. 10 weeks. He did the math. They conceived on her birthday. The baby would've been born around his birthday. He tapped the side of his legs. One, two, three, breathe. Four, five, six, breathe. Breathe, breathe, breathe.
He reached for the thick duvet, intending on changing the sheets and fixing the bed. He pulled back the layers and that's when he saw it. A small patch of red on the sheets. His knees folded beneath him and then he was on the floor as a surge of tears disarmed him. And he sobbed. It was gutting. It was loud. It was ugly.
Fitz didn't know how long he was on the floor for but he cried harder when he felt strong arms around him, hugging his chest and rocking with him. He mumbled incoherently. But Dominic barely made out the words. I'm sorry I did this to your daughter.
"It's okay. You're okay son, let it all out." Dom comforted him. "I need you to breathe Fitz. It's gonna be okay."
They just stayed on the floor. There was no rush. There was no blame. There was no exchange of words. Just two men who knew deep loss.
An hour later, when Fitz had calmed enough, Dominic grabbed his hand and held it.
"It may not seem like it right now, but you're both gonna be fine." Dom said.
Fitz looked at him. "I don't know."
"I do." Dom reassured him. "There is no lemon so sour that you can't make something resembling lemonade."
Olivia jolted out of her sleep to the feeling of cramps. Her mother was still next to her reading a book. It was mid afternoon.
"Oh good, you're awake." Maya smiled. "You okay?"
Olivia nodded. "Cramps." She answered.
Maya winced sympathetically. "Wanna shower and eat something after?"
"Yes, shower. No, food." Olivia replied.
"Olivia, don't piss me off. You need to eat." Maya said sternly. "You're tiny and bleeding like the Red Sea. You need to replenish your strength."
"Mooom." Olivia whined.
"Don't "mom" me. I'm gonna grab you some clothes and you need to think about what you want to eat after you shower." Maya said.
"Fine." Olivia sulked.
Both Popes stood up. Olivia went to the ensuite bathroom while Maya left to go retrieve some comfy pajamas for Olivia in her closet.
Thirty minutes later, Olivia was fresh from the shower and wrapped in a plush towel. She had wet her hair and it felt good to have the water cascading down on her. She willed herself not to cry when she saw small clots running down the shower drain.
Her mom helped her detangle her hair and blow dried them for her before styling it for her into two French braids. Olivia then moisturized her skin and slipped into her mother's clothes.
"I'm going downstairs to check on your dad." Maya announced. "Can I bring you back anything?"
Olivia shook her head. "No. If you see Fitz, can you send him up?"
Maya nodded. "Of course, baby. Holler if you need me."
Maya checked in with Dominic who was devouring a BLT sandwich in the kitchen. He told her about the road trip to the city, and how Fitz was most definitely not okay. She filled him in on how their daughter was also not okay. They both wore looks of sadness as they finally let it sink in for themselves too. They could have been grandparents.
"I told Livia about us." Maya shared.
Dom raised his eyebrows. Recognition washed over him. Oh. "What did she say?"
"Well you know your daughter," Maya smiled. "She was flabbergasted when I told her that I tried to divorce you."
"I know that's right." Dom laughed. Maya rolled her eyes.
Maya stroked his handsome face, grateful she had chosen this man all these years ago to be her rock. "Thank you." She said.
She didn't need to go into the details. They both knew exactly what she meant.
Dom winked at her then leaned in to peck her lips. "I love you, woman."
Maya found Fitz in the garden. He was just standing there, staring at nothing in particular. Just deep in thought. She stood next to him so as to not spook him and gently rubbed his back, up and down.
"Fitz. How are you doing, honey?" Maya asked.
Fitz blew out a breath and nodded. "Yeah. I'm okay."
Maya was not convinced in the least.
"You know… it's okay not to be okay." She looked up at him, and bumped her hips into his playfully. "This is a safe place."
Fitz stared down at his feet, trying not to cry again. He didn't have any more left. He was exhausted. But Maya kept going, showing him the kindness and love he needed.
"Can I hug you?"
Fitz nodded. "Please."
Maya wrapped her arms around his torso and hugged him tight. Fitz towered over her by nearly a foot but my God, that woman could hug. The maternal love he felt vibrating through her and transferring to him in that hug made Fitz shiver.
When they pulled apart, she brushed the wild curl against his forehead.
"Have you slept?" She asked.
Fitz couldn't tell her that he doesn't sleep well without her daughter in his arms. He couldn't tell her that he was terrified that he would never get the sound of Olivia's sobs out of his head. He couldn't tell her that he was so sad, he wanted to drown. So he settled for a short answer.
"No."
Maya sighed as she squeezed her eyes shut and rubbed her temple. "You and my daughter are gonna give me a fucking aneurysm. God. She won't eat, you won't sleep. I don't know which of you is worse."
Fitz chuckled. Maya doesn't cuss often. He found it hilarious when she does. "I'm sorry."
Maya dismissed his apology. "Don't be." She smiled. "Why don't you go up there and check in on her? See if you can convince her to eat something."
Fitz blinked back tears. "She wants to see me?"
Maya offered him a sympathetic look. "Of course she does, honey. The worst of it is over. But you both need each other right now." She stated. "I know my daughter. She means well but don't let her push you away."
Fitz gave her small hand a gentle squeeze. "Thank you." He said, overcome with gratitude. "You mean so much to me. And I appreciate you so much."
Maya winked at him. "You mean a lot to me too, sweetie." She smiled. "Now get up there and bring her meds with you. She's cramping."
Before Fitz went up, he brewed Olivia a piping cup of Mrs. Mei's magical Peppermint tea. That always seems to do the trick when she has her period. He just wanted to bring her comfort if nothing else. He didn't know if he was going to be able to look at her knowing he caused her so much pain.
He slowly went up the stairs, taking good care not to spill the hot liquid. Once at her door, he knocked softly.
"Yes. Come in."
He pushed the door open and his breath caught in his throat. She had never looked more beautiful to him. Sure her doe eyes were swollen but she was somehow glowing. She looked so youthful and strong and amazing. He slowly walked in the room and closed the door behind him with his foot. His eyes on her unwavering.
Olivia sat up against her pillow as she watched him place hot tea and her prescriptions on the night table. Her heart leapt in her chest at the sight of him. His handsome face had a slight five o'clock shadow, and his gorgeous blue eyes looked so tired. But she'd never known a more devastatingly beautiful man.
Olivia waited for him to say something. She took notice of the way he maintained his distance from her even though he looked visibly anxious doing so. But he was doing it for her. Giving her the space she needs. She didn't need space. She needed him. So she broke the silence.
"Hi." She smiled.
"Hi." Fitz rasped. "Can I sit with you?"
Olivia nodded. "Sure."
Fitz sat on his hands at the foot of her bed. He desperately wanted to touch her. To hold her. To feel her. But he didn't know if he was allowed to.
"Why so far?" Olivia asked.
Fitz shrugged. "Dunno. H-how are you feeling right now?"
Olivia watched him with furrowed brows. She quickly realized that she needed to rectify her earlier rejection when he came to check on her. He'd known she was awake and had turned him away.
She pushed the sheets back from her lap and slowly crawled to him. Once she was next to him, she straddled his lap and wrapped her arms around his neck. His lips started quivering and seconds later, tears flooded his eyes.
"Oh baby, don't cry." Olivia whispered.
Too late! The dam burst and his whole body quaked with sobs as she wrapped him into a hug. His arms circled around her too and he held onto her while weeping into her neck. Olivia fought back tears.
"Fitz." Her voice cracked as she tried to pull his face from her neck but he had such a tight grip on her and it shattered her. "Baby. You're gonna make me cry."
Olivia kissed his shoulders, arms, and hands till she gradually peeled him away from her neck. She cradled his cheeks and brushed his tears away with her thumbs, while attempting to hold her own at bay. She leaned in and kissed him on the lips softly. Fitz sobbed even harder. Olivia simply continued kissing him all over his face until he grabbed her face and fused their lips together again in a deeper kiss. He pushed her onto the bed and climbed on top of her. Olivia wrapped her legs around him securely, and let him plunder her mouth with desperate thrusts of his tongue, pouring every ounce of his grief into her. She moaned, his tears fell onto her face and she tangled her fingers in between his hair.
"I'm sorry." She mumbled.
It was a blanket statement that meant many things she couldn't dare vocalize. Sorry for pushing you away. Sorry for robbing you of your dreams. Sorry I'm such a failure. Sorry you're in pain.
In turn, Fitz continued to kiss away every ounce of doubt from her. His kisses were brazen and intense and filled with love. Olivia mistakenly interpreted them as punishment. But it was okay.
She could handle it.
When their lungs surpassed their capacity, they pulled away and just laid together. Olivia caressed his back and played in his hair. No words were needed. This was enough for now.
A few minutes passed before Fitz grabbed one of Olivia's hands and entwined their fingers. "I hear you haven't been eating. Wanna tell me why?" He asked.
Olivia shrugged. "I'm not hungry."
Fitz looked up at her, pleading. "Baby, please. You need to eat. You've lost a lot of blood. I need you to eat something. For me."
Olivia didn't have it in her heart to deny him anything more at the moment.
"Okay. Okay." She acquiesced. "I'll eat."
Fitz grinned and leaned up to kiss her lips. "Thank you. What would you like, my love?"
"Tell mom I want Mrs. Robinson's Jamaican chicken soup."
Fitz nodded then stood up. He didn't want to leave her at all, but she needed to eat.
"You got it. I'll be right back." He hovered over her and kissed her lips again. " Anything else you want?"
Olivia kissed him back. "No. Just you. Hurry back." She answered. "Maybe we can watch a movie?"
Fitz gave her one last kiss then pulled back. He pinched her cute nose, just to see her make that adorable face he loves so much. It made him smile. "I'd love that. Drink your tea in the meantime."
He was halfway out the door when he stopped to look at her on the bed.
"We're gonna get through this, right? We're in this together?"
Fitz desperately needed the reassurance. Nothing else mattered more to him.
"We're in this together." Olivia echoed.
"I love you, Olivia."
"I love you too, Fitz."