"Never Give Up (On Each Other)"

Author: carmen_085

Disclaimer: I do not own any Walking Dead Characters. I do own all original characters.

Summary: In the months before the beginning of the apocalypse, Daryl finds himself homeless, alone, and with no direction. An adult Beth is struggling to balance her job, sick parents, and the farm. Feeling like the world is suffocating her, will taking a chance on a stranger change everything ? Can these two find what they need in each other before life as they know it ends and they must do anything to survive. AU but eventual ZA with full cast.

Chapter Five

It had only been a week but in Daryl's estimation it was one of the best damn weeks he could remember in a long time. Growing up without any structure in his life, Daryl found that he craved it as an adult. Inside of a schedule was where he felt most at ease; the anxiety of not knowing where he should be or what he should be doing disappearing almost entirely. Those times when Merle had been locked up and Daryl had gotten himself a job were some of the best times he could remember. He loved to work; not because he liked money, he could survive on just about nothing, but because he liked to wake up every morning and know exactly what he was doing that day.

Working on the farm wasn't easy, Beth sure hadn't been kidding about that, but he found he enjoyed the back breaking exhaustion of it. She had explained to him that she took a few days off of work hoping to get caught up on so much that needed done now that spring was here. In that time the two of them had managed to plow both fields and plant all of the corn and sorghum Beth thought they would need to keep the animals fed throughout the winter. With Daryl out running the tractors and heavy equipment, Beth was free to tend to the animals as well as some other tasks that needed done to keep the farm online. The big event of the week had been the birth of a foal named Lucky. Daryl leaned on the paddock watching the mare bray and whine as she pushed a miniature version of herself from her swollen belly. A little coaxing from Beth was all that was needed as she explained that animals had been doing this for hundreds of years completely on their own. Still…it was damn amazing to watch.

The horse and well…Beth. Daryl blushed just thinking about it. Blood up to her elbows and wisps of blonde hair falling out from the braid to frame her sweaty face. A single light bulb illuminated the stall as the smell of animals mixed with the sweet, earthy aroma of hay. Daryl's forearms rested on the worn wood as he stared at them both; his expression earnest, his eyes dark and hooded. At his feet, Maize sat peeking through the wood slats her nose poking into the stall picking up every last scent. Daryl shuffled his feet, he knew how tired he was right now and how bad his back was aching and he just couldn't imagine Beth doing all of this by herself. Flicking her eyes up to him she met his stare with a soft smile as she wiped the sweat from her forehead. Daryl felt his stomach clench as he exhaled. If he had learned one thing this week it was the woman in front of him was probably one of the strongest people he had ever met. Girl literally did it all; full time job as a nurse, could work in the fields like man, took care of her mama, looked after her daddy, kept this farm running and still…still after all that found the time to be kind to a piece of shit like him. He could see she was frustrated and tired, but she never complained. Not once.

Every night at dinnertime for the last few days Beth rode one of the horses out to his campsite in the west pasture between those two tall oak trees. He never asked her to do it, wasn't even sure he wanted her to do it at first, but after a couple days he found it was something he could get used to. She called them potluck dinners; he thought it more her way of checking that he had enough to eat without forcing a meal on him. Which, despite all the work he was doing, he still adamantly refused. Didn't even like all this sharing but he had to admit the girl could cook. His mouth watered just thinking about it.

The first night it was mud snake, after that squirrel, rabbit, and even a hoot owl. She ate all of it without so much as a puckered face. Most of the time she was enthusiastic and curious never eating such a wide variety of game before. In turn, she brought a basket with her own side dishes to his charred meat on a stick. The first night it was mashed potatoes; Daryl staring at her like she was crazy- 1 for coming back out here to eat with him again and 2- that she wanted to eat unseasoned dry meat that he butchered and prepared on a rock. She wasn't leaving though, and Daryl had to admit that he didn't hate her being around. He also didn't want her to think him a total dick; she had given him a job after all. Ears turning red, Daryl hated to admit to himself that it was about 90% the former and 10% the latter.

That first night he took a small helping of mashed potatoes to make her happy. Goddamn things were creamy and buttery in the best possible way. Beth saw the way his eyes widened as she pushed the Tupperware toward him. "Have as much as you want. I know I'm having some more of this rabbit." She'd put them on even ground so effortlessly that Daryl hardly noticed. Smiling, they ate in silence mostly. Sometimes she talked about the farm or work, a few things about her mama, rarely anything about her daddy. He listened, adding a word here or there, grunting when he thought she wanted confirmation that he was still listening. Oh he was definitely listening…he didn't want to miss a thing about this girl. Swallowing hard he nearly choked on his meat just thinking about it.

The following nights involved corn on the cob, honey biscuits, and apple pie. Daryl's mouth watered right now just thinking about it. Last night he could see something was on her mind as they sat silently eating together on the hard ground. He didn't know this girl well enough to ask what the problem was. Even if he did know her, he still wouldn't have the words for it; barely understood his own feelings let alone someone else's. Eventually she came out with it as he had learned quickly that she was prone to do. Nothing heavy ever sat in her head for very long. "I did the math and looked at all the expenses of the farm and I can pay you five hundred dollars a week." She immediately looked down at the ground pursing her lips before looking back up at him. "I know you could make more doing something else…much more…but that's all I can offer you right now. I understand if you want to go."

Holy shit.

Five hundred dollars a week was more than he had made in a long damn time. Much more than what he needed that was for sure. Daryl never had much; never wanted much. As long as he had the clear sky, the trees, and the dirt beneath his feet he was good. He didn't need stuff; didn't need the comforts of life. Five hundred a week amounted to two thousand a month and a few months of saving meant that Daryl could maybe get his life back together. Get a place of his own nearby and work here helping Beth for as long as she would have him. Just the thought of it made the corners of his lips twitch up.

He told her that would do just fine and instantly her face exploded into a smile. Just the sight of it made his chest warm as he ducked his head hiding his eyes behind greasy locks of hair. A lot of things this week had made him uncomfortable and that was nobody's fault but his own. He lived like a goddamn animal with Merle for so long he forgot what it was like to be around nice, normal people. Forgot what it felt like to make an honest living. Beth could innately sense his discomfort and was careful to never push him too far. Before dinner every night she disappeared into the house to take a shower while he slipped behind the barn to hose himself down. She knew he was washing up there, but she didn't say a thing about it. On the third night he noticed the water wasn't cold anymore and actually came out of the hose somewhat warm. Daryl didn't question it as his aching muscles had nearly shaken and seized out of control from the ice cold washing he did the night before. Normally he wouldn't bathe this much but working in the fields left him dirty and sweat soaked. Just the thought of working next to Beth smelling like BO made his stomach churn with embarrassment. So he would brave the ice cold showers and the long shivering walks back to his campsite. Just something that had to be done, no use complaining about it.

He didn't have the balls to ask why hot water was suddenly coming from the hose and she didn't bring it up until the night the foal was born. Asking him to get the hose and bring over to her she met his eyes and smiled. They had a valve in the house that could switch over to hot water for the baby animals in the barn. Hypothermia could set in real quick, especially with evenings this cold. As Daryl met her gaze he came to understand she wasn't just talking about the animals. And then not for the first time he wondered how he, a piece of literal trash, had fallen into a such a good situation with this amazing, kind woman in front of him. Christ he would never say it out loud, could never even form those syllables, but every time he looked at her he felt his ears burn and his heart flutter. Girl was one of the best people he had ever met.

The sun beat down hot but the breeze was cool and Daryl was thankful for that as he bent over the hood of the tractor discarding the wrench in his hand in favor of another tool. Peering over the engine, his keen eyes wandered toward the house. On the porch Annette sat in the sun in one of the low Adirondack chairs. He had helped Beth lift her over the threshold and set her down on the worn wooden planks. Seeing as how her mama's spine was bent and her head hung forward, Beth had padded the chair with pillows so that Annette could sit back and actually look around. Daryl tried not to stare as she worked to get the old woman set up but he couldn't help himself. Mind flashing back to how she propped Merle up in bed and ran her hands over his bare chest, Daryl marveled at how good she was at taking care of people. Came natural to her he supposed.

Looking back to the machine in front of him he wrote another part down on the piece of paper. Beth was going back to work tonight, she explained to him, and wouldn't be able to do as much during the day with him as she had been. While Daryl was disappointed- and would never admit it to a fucking soul- he just grunted and told her that's what he was for. She burst into one of her bright smiles and like always his insides twisted up into a knot. She was going into town to run a few errands in the afternoon and would be back before dinner to get her mama taken care of before work. He wanted to ask her when she planned to sleep but he figured she probably wasn't tired since she had been sleeping all night the days she had been off. Flopping back and forth between days and nights had to be hard and he definitely didn't envy her, but if it was what she needed to do to keep this place running then he knew she would do it without complaint.

Lifting his head, Daryl saw a black truck pull up to the house leaving a cloud of dust in its wake. The door swung open and a tall, blonde man got out. He wore a backwards baseball cap, a t-shirt, and brown Carhartt overalls. Daryl immediately recognized him as Jimmy Campbell, the neighbor who seemed to think he had some claim to Beth. Well…nobody had actually said that and Daryl hadn't seen him since that first day but thinking back to the darkness on his face and the glare of his eyes, Daryl had no doubt that Beth and the farm boy shared some kind of history. Maybe they shared all of their history; Jimmy had probably been around for all the highs and lows of Beth's life. Stepping up onto the porch he paused offering Annette a smile and few words before swinging the door open and traipsing into the house with his dirty ass boots on; just like he owned the place.

Daryl looked away. Shaking the thoughts from his head he went to back to his work. What Beth did and who she kept around her was none of his business. He'd only known her for about two weeks now and he had no say and no claim to any part of her. He worked here…that was it. Repeating that in his head, Daryl forced himself to not look at the house again.

Beth had been in the kitchen making her mama lunch; chicken shredded in the food processor, applesauce, and mashed potatoes. All required next to no chewing and it was the only way to get any nutrition into Annette. Sighing, Beth felt the familiar pang of anxiety swirl in her chest. Her mama couldn't lose anymore weight; after her last stint in the nursing home the doctor had threatened a feeding tube. And while Beth was totally capable of handling that, she shuddered to think about leaving her daddy in charge of it while she was at work all night. She also knew her mama would make a big fuss about the thing causing about a hundred times more grief than what was needed. So….there was no option. She had to eat.

Hershel sat behind her at the table eating a piece of chicken in silence. Pushing the sliced cucumbers and tomatoes around on the dish his hand shook slightly as he lifted the glass of iced tea to his lips. Beth tried not to look at him, it would just give her another things to worry about. The screen door slammed as Maize jumped up from her position next to Beth and ran to see who it was.

"Hello ?!" Beth would recognize Jimmy's voice anywhere. A small smile spread across her face as he poked his head into the kitchen. "Hey Beth…Mr. Greene." No matter how old they got, he always called her daddy Mr. Greene, never Hershel. Pouring the chicken onto her mama's plate, Beth took in Jimmy's overalls and work boots knowing that he must have stopped whatever he was doing for this impromptu visit.

"What's going on ?" Beth's first reaction was that something was wrong. Cows loose in the woods, a tree through the fence; calamity always lurked around the corner it seemed. Seeing the worry on her face; Jimmy was quick to reassure her.

"Everything's fine. Your daddy called me this morning and asked if I could drop off some of the Campbell heirloom tomato seeds." Jimmy's father, before he died, had actually bred a specific tomato for the Georgia heat. The sturdy plants produced fruits so sweet you would swear it was made of sugar. As a kid Jimmy won several blue ribbons at the County Fair for his prized entries.

Beth cast a look at Hershel before turning her eyes on Jimmy, "You shouldn't have made a special trip. I could have picked them up." Leaning against the counter he shrugged his shoulders giving Beth one of those All-American smiles of his. His face falling serious he then turned his gaze to Hershel.

"Mr. Greene, I wanted to know if you would ride back to the farm with me for a bit and take a look at one of the horses." Hershel didn't practice veterinary medicine anymore, his equipment and kits gathering dust in the basement right next to his bottles of booze. Still, if a local farmer or friend who had been a client of his in the past asked for his help he would go take a look…unofficially, of course. Even Maize saw a vet in town, a smooth talking fellow named Dante. When Hershel heard about that he evoked some mumblings about inferno and the underwood before disappearing back into the basement. Beth had learned long ago that her daddy, as a drunk, did what he felt like when he felt like, and sometimes he did absolutely nothing at all- not even bothering to shower for days on end.

Still, in the last few days, since Daryl's arrival, Hershel had made more appearances than usual. Most times standing on the porch leaning on the railing watching as the two of them labored in the fields. Beth didn't want to get her hopes up but maybe Daryl being here was the kick in the ass he needed. Hershel was quiet considering Jimmy's question before slowly nodding his head.

"What seems to be the problem, son ?" Unlike Daryl, Jimmy loved it when Hershel called him son; reminded him of his own daddy and it made him miss him so damn much.

"Buttercup ate a bird out in the field," he rolled his eyes to the ceiling. Horses didn't eat meat or animals, but Buttercup had been known to put anything in her mouth. "Don't ask me why. But she ate a dead bird and now she's weak; can't get up, must have a fever because I found her slick with sweat this morning." Hershel's brow furrowed trying to get his brain into gear to figure out what the hell the problem could be; parasites or some other kind of infection being at the top of the list. "I been noticing dead birds everywhere; their eyes are white too- it's strange."

Beth felt an unsettled feeling bloom in her stomach as she looked at Jimmy silently before suddenly remembering something Daryl had mentioned to her. "Yeah, Daryl told me he found them in the woods and all over the fields. He said he never seen such a thing before." Both Jimmy and Hershel looked at her silently as she stared back at them shaking her head, "What ?"

Jimmy exhaled scratching the back of his head as he turned his body toward her. "Beth…" He looked down appearing to chose his words carefully. "That's another thing I wanted to talk to you about…this guy you have working here."

Beth put down her mama's tray of food squaring her shoulders to Jimmy raising an eye brow in opposition. "His name is Daryl. What about him, Jimmy ?"

"Well we could start with where did you find him? A homeless shelter?" If Beth had been holding the tray she would have dropped it.

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" She narrowed her eyes at him clearly pissed.

"He's sleeping out in the field, Beth. Under a tarp. I saw him shoot an owl a couple nights ago, walked out of the woods plucking the feathers off like some kind of caveman." Beth just stared at him. She had never known Jimmy to be judgmental. Of course most things didn't involve her and she knew that's where this was coming from. He and his wife, Teresa, had a good marriage but Beth had never observed anything more than that. They were solid but there was nothing great about it. She didn't care anymore; what they had was ancient history and she could literally look at Jimmy right now and feel nothing at all. However, in her early twenties when the rejection as still new and fresh she had wished for them to get divorced more than once seeing what everyone saw. He married Teresa but he still loved Beth, and he always would. As years went on she buried it and didn't look back, but Jimmy still held on to some of it and where once had been loved had now turned into a protectiveness; especially since Shawn died.

Keeping that in mind Beth stifled the urge to tell him to fuck off and mind his own business. "Daryl is an experienced outdoorsman, he prefers to live that way and who I am to tell him otherwise?" Jimmy scoffed laughing at her answer which only made her madder.

"Really ? This isn't the end of the world, there's no reason to be camped out under a tree eating a bird with your bare hands."

"You have no room to judge him either, Jimmy." His smiled faded as a hurt look came across his face. At the table Hershel began to open his mouth before Beth's harsh stare turned on him. "And neither do you." Beth shook her head not believing that this conversation was happening at all. Picking up her mama's tray she slammed it back down the counter. Turning she met their questioning looks with fury, "I did what I thought was right to keep this farm going. I can't do everything myself….I'm one person."

"Beth you know I help you whenever I can." Beth let out a wry laugh as she shook her head.

"Right. Whenever you can….whenever Teresa doesn't want your ass at home, whenever the kids don't have a game, whenever it fucking suits you, Jimmy !" At her slip of the tongue, Hershel let out a disgusted sigh.

"Now I won't have you talking like that in this house, Beth !" Ignoring the angry look on Jimmy's face, she turned to her daddy.

"Or what ? You'll kick me out ? Put your bottle down and decide to be a husband again….maybe decide to be the man of the house again ?!" They had really done it now and all of her frustrations were pouring out in a torrent. Beth knew the words coming out her mouth were hurtful but they weren't untrue. And she had been hanging on to them letting them boil just beneath her skin for too long.

Standing up too fast Hershel knocked the chair backwards onto the kitchen floor as his face turned a shade of red. "I'm not going to listen to this shit." Stomping toward the basement he threw back toward Jimmy. "I'll get my stuff and meet you outside."

Beth turned back to the tray of food, now cold, and moved to slip it into the microwave. God knows the last thing she needed right now was her mama bitching about lunch. Letting out a frustrated sigh she shook her head.

"Beth…" Jimmy started but she put a hand up stopping him as she took the food and put it back onto the tray. Moving past him toward the front door she kicked the screen open placing the tray on front of her mama. For once Annette seemed peaceful and content sitting in the sun. She looked up at Beth and smiled before wordlessly starting to eat. Exhaling Beth was relieved that at least one thing was going to be easy today. Turning to go back into the house she met Daryl's eyes at he stared at her over the tractor. Offering him small smile and a wave she saw that he returned the gesture with a nod of the head. He was a good man and she knew that…and she didn't care what anyone else thought.

Stepping back inside the house she saw the old grandfather clock read one pm and she knew she needed to get moving and get into town before it was too late. She had a few errands and one very important stop at the bank to withdraw Daryl's pay for the week. Five hundred in cash she felt would be easiest since he made no mention of having a bank account or any other way to receive what was owed to him. For all she cared at the moment Jimmy could see himself out. However that was wishful thinking as he turned the corner just as she set foot on the stairs.

"Beth…listen…don't be mad." She crossed her arms over her chest; how often had she heard this from him before. Coming to stand in front of her he stuffed his hands into his pockets. "I just….I just don't want anyone to hurt you. I know you have so much you're dealing with. I don't want you to trust the wrong person. You don't know him, Beth, he could he waiting for the right moment to rob you or call his friends down here and do worse."

Do worse.

Beth shuddered at the idea of what worse could be. And maybe she would need to worry about that with someone else, but not Daryl. She didn't know him well, yes that's true, but she knew enough. She knew he was a good man, a hard worker, and damaged soul- although she knew if he ever heard her say that out loud he would be furious. Sighing she knew that Jimmy was just trying to do his best for her. Stepping off the stair she took Jimmy by the arm and led him over to the big window in the living room. Overlooking the entire farm she pointed.

"In one week he did all that, Jimmy. The corn is planted, the animals will be fed, the fences are mended and….and he built my mama a ramp. I didn't even ask him to do it he just did it." Jimmy hung his head suddenly feeling a bit ashamed.

"Yeah I saw it on the way in." Beth nodded.

"So yeah, you're right. I took a chance on someone I didn't know. Someone I just had a feeling about and so far it's paying off. I know he's rough, Jimmy, but he's a good man. I can just tell." They stood there in silence for a moment.

"Alright, I trust you, Beth. But if there's any problems you promise to call me. OK, Promise."

Turning to him she nodded her head, "I promise, I'll call you." It was an easy promise to make because she knew she would never have to make that call. Jimmy was wrong, her daddy was wrong; hell, when it came to Daryl Dixon everyone was wrong, and one day they would all see that.

Daryl pretended to be busy as Jimmy reappeared from house with the old man and they both climbed into the truck and took off without so much as a wave. Not that he cared for such pleasantries but he was sure they both were trying to convince Beth that he was a no good piece of trash. Were they wrong….no, he was trash…but he wasn't here to take anything or hurt anyone. He just needed to start over and this was the best start he ever found. He just hoped that whatever Beth saw in him she kept seeing because he didn't want to leave…he would if they didn't want him here…but he hoped, really hoped it wouldn't come to that.

A short time later Beth came over to him asking if he could once again lift her mama over the threshold and into the house. Of course he would, anything she needed, besides the old woman weighed next to nothing. If it weren't for the confused looks she gave him, Daryl wouldn't mind at all which was damn strange considering he'd never carried a sick person around before. About an hour after that, presumably after getting her situated upstairs, Beth reappeared and waved goodbye as she hopped in the Camry and took off for town. After that it was just Daryl and the dog who was, per usual, laying in the sun. He had a bit of work left to do for the day but after that he decided to go for a walk in the woods and see if there as anything to eat. Beth would be at the hospital tonight so he would be alone for dinner; not that he was thinking about that.

It was early May but the sweltering humidity of Georgian summers was already upon them during the day while cold, wet nights were now the usual. Combing the trees, Daryl came up empty for anything, not even a squirrel crossed his path. It was strange…really strange. Usually there were animals all over, but it seemed like they had all gone into hiding or something. Mind reeling back to the dead birds he chewed his bottom lip, an unsettled feeling coming over him. Looking up, he saw the skies begin to darken as a storm front moved in. It had been hot and humid, it only figured a thunderstorm was in the making.

Getting back to the barn Daryl peered around seeing that neither the Camry nor the black truck was anywhere to be found. The dog had some how retreated inside, sensing the barometric pressure dropping and the impending weather change. As usual, Daryl was so sweaty and every time he lifted his arms he smelled the awful stench of a dirty person. Jesus he wanted to buy a stick of deodorant so bad, anything to keep from smelling like this; it was embarrassing as hell. But until Beth paid him and he found a way to get to a store he would need to keep washing up with the hose and the bar of soap she used on the animals. It was probably around five thirty and definitely still broad daylight but the sky had darkened considerably and he knew if he wanted to shower he would have to do it now, lest he get struck by lightning later. In the past he would have just shrugged and let the rain do it but he knew getting wet like that would only make him smell worse.

He had a small white towel that he used to dry himself off and one change of clothes that he washed every night after washing himself; exactly two pairs of pants, three shirts, and a handful of socks and underwear. Sometimes he went without underwear because his hadn't yet dried from the night before. Unfolding the white towel he stole from the motel the day Merle died, he laid his change of clothes on a barrel as he took one last look around the barn making sure nobody was there to see him. In the distance thunder rumbled as he kicked his boots off. Shirt, pants, and socks came next with him leaving his underwear on until the very last moment. Like every time he did this, Daryl felt a jolt of panic go through him as he stood there totally exposed. The water was hot like it had been, Beth must have left the valve on all the time now since she was obviously not home right not to turn it on for him. Grabbing the bar he scrubbed himself quickly, soaping up his greasy sweaty hair, his face, and armpits and then his legs, feet, and back. Hosing himself off Daryl felt a bubble of panic being to boil. He needed to get done and get dried off before someone walked in on him. He usually reserved this for the middle of the night when he knew everyone was in bed.

Grabbing the towel, Daryl dried himself off rougher and faster than he needed to, yanking his clean underwear and jeans back on. His feet weren't even dry as he pulled the socks on and then slipped into his boots. He was so focused on what he was doing that he didn't hear footsteps coming around the barn until it was too late.

"Oh." It was light and breathy and he was sure maybe he had imagined it; he prayed that he imagined it. Not yet able to get his shirt on, he stood there with his back completely exposed to her. Instantly he whipped around, yanking the cut off flannel over his body so fast he was sure he gave himself a brush burn. Blush exploded over every inch of him as he forced his gaze to the ground. Beth stood there holding a bag of McDonalds and a large soda as well as an envelope that was full of something. Daryl couldn't form a single word as he hoped that maybe a bolt of lightning would come out of the sky and just kill him. Beth forced a smile as she held the bag of food out to him. He made no move toward her however as the inside of him was shaking with embarrassment.

Face falling she pulled her outstretched arm back in. Setting the bag down on one of the feed barrels she place an envelope next to it. "I didn't have time to make anything today so I stopped and got myself McDonald's; I remembered you saying that you loved Big Mac's." Daryl's eyes flicked up; he had said that to her once when she asked him over the fire in the evening what his favorite food had been. He couldn't believe she had been paying attention to him enough to remember that. Taking in his shameful, downturned eyes, it took everything inside of Beth to not put her arms around him and tell him that she was sorry for whatever the hell happened to him a long time ago. That he didn't need to be embarrassed, that she had seen worse, and that she, in fact, had a few shameful scars of her own. Yes, it took everything she had not to do that. She knew he wouldn't want to be touched and certainly wouldn't want to be pitied. So she swallowed what she felt and she nodded toward the envelope. "Your pay for the week. I deducted eight dollars and fifteen cents for the food because I knew that's how you would want it." His eyes briefly flicked up to her. She nodded assuring him that this had been fair and he wasn't taking charity. "So there's four hundred ninety one dollars and eighty five cents in total."

Daryl stood speechless for a moment forgetting that she had just seen his scarred back and marveled at the fact that just seven days ago he didn't even have enough money to buy a bag of potato chips. He grunted something that resembled a thank you as the corner's of Beth's lips began to turn up, apparently pleased that she had been able to elicit some sort of approval from him. Looking own at her watch she shook her head. "I have to get dressed and get to work." Nodding her head to the sky she continued to school her face into a neutral expression. Maybe he would think she hadn't been paying attention if she just played it cool. Beth knew what she saw was not something he would ever want her to see; at least not without his consent. She hoped that things weren't going to be weird between them now. She really felt like she had just started to make some progress with him.

The skies darkened as the first drops of rain fell. And yet Daryl made no move toward her still paralyzed by the fact that she had most likely just seen one of the most shameful parts of him. Beth gestured toward the barn. "Please remember what I said about the barn; doesn't smell the greatest but it's warm and dry." Daryl looked at her for a second giving her the barest of nods just so that she would go away. That sounded harsh and it was harsh especially for how kind she had been to him, but he needed to wrap his head around this and that was something he had to do alone. Offering him a small smile she nodded hesitantly before turning on her hell and running back to the house dodging rain drops as they fell. Closing his eyes, Daryl exhaled a shaky breath as thunder rumbled in the distance.

Beth stood at the window staring out at the downpour. It was nearly ten pm and she found that after getting all the necessary tasks out of the way, that her thoughts wandered to Daryl. More accurately they wandered to his scarred and puckered back. Whoever had done that to him had done it a long time ago, those wounds had healed and he he grown into a man around them. Like a tree that grows out of crack in the sidewalk. She wouldn't pity him, because at the end of the day he had survived and life had gone on. And yet she thought about all the small idiosyncrasies that made Daryl who he was and she couldn't help but to wonder if while he may have survived that he still didn't suffer every single day. And that…that made her heart ache.

"Hey…how were your days off?" Beth jumped slightly as Rosita appeared next to her, clearly she had been lost in thought.

Forcing the thoughts that were occupying her mind away Beth nodded smiling, "Good. I got a lot done. Plowed and planted both fields, got my mama to the dentist, we even had a foal named Lucky born." Rosita's eyes widened as she shook her head.

"Girl I don't know the first thing about farming but that seems like a lot to do by yourself. You need a back rub or something….?" Beth's smile widened as she shrugged.

"I hired someone to help me." Rosita grinned at her.

"See that's what I'm talking about. I'm glad you aren't trying to do it all on your own anymore." She paused for a moment wiggling her eyebrows. "What's he look like…is he as hot as your ex-boyfriend farmer neighbor ?" Jimmy. She was talking abut Jimmy. Beth shook her head, she had told Rosita a long time ago that Jimmy was nothing more than a friend now, and those teenage lover days were long behind them.

"Well…." Beth paused wondering if she should tell her this. "You kind of know him." Rosita's face took on a quizzical expression.

"Who?" Beth looked away knowing that what came next was not going to be good.

"The brother of that post arrest that was in fourteen, Daryl Dixon." Rosita stared at her in silence her mouth hanging open slightly.

"You've got to be fucking kidding me, right?" Beth's smiled faded as her eyes went back out the window staring at the rain. "BETH !? His brother was a drug addict…means he probably is too. Waiting to rob you to go pay for his next high… I mean come one you can't be serious !" Beth was quiet as she felt her anger from earlier begin to build again.

"I am serious, Rosita." She turned to stare right at her. "Daryl is a good man and he's helping me so much…I can't even tell you." Rosita saw the way Beth set her jaw and the fire in her eyes. Backing down just a bit, she gathered that this most likely wasn't the first time that Beth had to defend this guy and she had obviously been ready for it. Still…though…the brother of a dead drug addict. What was she thinking ?

"Girl if I see you on Dateline I'm going to tell them I told you so…big ass I warned her but she didn't listen." Beth smirked slightly.

"That's not going to happen. You'll see, this is going to work out. I just have a feeling about him, Rosita, he's not like this brother. He's honest, he works hard, and he just needs a chance." Her friend hummed a dubious reply but let any further argument slide seeing that Beth had made up her mind. She only hoped that her friend hadn't made a mistake.

Rain came down in torrents as Daryl stalked through the forest, tree branches hitting his face in the process. He had to move, he just had to make his body do something to snap out of the sickening cycle of anxiety that he was in. Beth had seen him completely bare, in the broad daylight. She saw his back; the thing that he had hoped to hide from her and everyone else in the world for all eternity. Daryl wasn't stupid, he knew that those scars made him look weak. They made him look damaged. And make no mistake about it; he was damaged beyond all possible repair, but at least he could try to keep it hidden, try to keep himself on an even keel with the rest of the world. Now, because he had not been paying attention Beth knew and she saw and she no doubt was at work right now feeling sorry for him. Which made him sick to be quite honest, so sick in fact that he had stashed the food she brought him in the barn and took off across the field in a blind panic to get away. To walk and put as much space between the house and him as he could. He sat in his suck ass camp for a while just staring at the ground, his insides shaking from pure embarrassment. Before tonight maybe she just considered him weird- eccentric even- now…now she probably considered him broken. Surely it explained so much about how he acted but honestly he didn't want her to understand something as dark and as painful as his childhood.

A limb hit Daryl in the face as he stumbled backwards. Overhead lightning crashed and tree tops bent and swayed. Winding up he punched the tree branch as hard as he could falling backwards onto the soft forest floor. Pinching his eyes shut against the rain he felt his hand throb and blood begin to seep out from between his knuckles. Daryl's chest heaved as he let out a frustrated scream. His old man was dead….Merle was dead…his mama dead. All the people whoever fucked him over in one way or another were all gone and here he was still living under their spell. Still wanting his mother…still emulating his brother…still piss in his pants terrified of his father. He was damn pathetic and he knew it. He had the golden opportunity for a better life in front of him and he was out here acting like a crazy person because of shit that happened so long ago he doubt there was anyone left alive that remembered it but him. Daryl had four hundred and ninety one dollars in his pocket right now and he was rolling around on the ground like an animal. If he wanted better for himself he would need to start acting like it.

The barn was quiet save for the steady tapping of rain on the tin roof. Letting himself in though the rear he dropped his bag, crossbow, and soaking wet blanket onto the dirt floor. He himself was also dripping wet and shivering as he leaned over the work bench switching the light bulb on overhead. Opening the bag of McDonald's in front of him he saw that the grease had soaked though and his stomach growled. He was so damn hungry right now. Taking the Big Mac out he unwrapped it and looked at it for a moment before whatever was restraining him broke loose and he shoved it into his mouth eating like someone who was starving. A sound somewhat close to a whimper escaped his lips as he consumed it with a ravenous, desperate sort of hunger. When the burger was gone he took a long drink of the coke before pulling the cash from his pocket. Tiny droplets of water fell off his hair dotting the worn wood.

Four hundred and ninety one dollar and eighty five cents, not that he didn't trust Beth, but still counting it and laying it out in front of him made his earnings seem more real. He had earned that working; doing hard, honest labor. He was proud of himself, even though he would never want to admit it. Looking around the barn his eyes fell on the hayloft and the stack of blankets up there. Beth was right, the barn was warm and dry and he reasoned that if he paid her rent it would be fair. Taking a hundred dollars and setting it aside he nodded to himself. When he saw her tomorrow morning he would pay her his first month's rent in full for staying inside and using her hot water; it was a fair trade and until he could save up for a place of his own this was the best he could do. Stifling the voice in his head that said he should stay outside like the animal that he was; Daryl swiftly reminded himself that it he wanted better it would need to start with him. So he was starting right here and now…no more feeling sorry for himself. It ended tonight.

TBC…

Thank you to all my loyal reviews. I look forward to your kinds words and read them over and over. Please let me know what you think of this chapter !