Chapter Fourteen

Lillian had been on her own for a few months now. She gave up praying to her father. She gave up trying to find a way to unlock her grace. She gave up trying to know the identity of the man from her dreams. She is content with speaking to him as is because she can't stay away from him. She always finds herself drawn back to him like a moth to a flame. Lillian's not exactly at peace but she has accepted her situation.

She's been traveling across the country picking up cases wherever she went without any real big issues. Her brothers still didn't know she was no longer at Bobby's. They would call her and the siblings would catch up and make sure everyone was doing okay. It was usually short and simple check ins to make sure everyone is still alive.

Currently now Lillian was picking up a case in Providence, Rhode Island. It was a woman who said she had seen an angel and it told her to stab a man because it was God's will. She was currently admitted in a psych ward now. This case made Lillian curious because she has never interacted with any angels besides her father and the one in her head. Gabriel always told her to stay away from any that she might encounter because they will want to execute her but she doesn't care for his opinions at the moment. He's absent now so what he says doesn't matter to her. She's as much an angel as she's human and she wishes she could explore more of that side of her, even if it could be a danger. She has every right to know.

Posing as a nurse, Lillian was dressed scrubs and had a clip board ready to visit the woman, Gloria, to ask her about her encounter. She was sitting in her room reading a book when Lillian approached her.

"Hello Gloria" Lillian smiled.

"You're new. Good morning" she looked up from her book to face Lillian.

Lillian stepped further into the room so she could be face to face with the woman. "Yeah this isn't my usual part of the hospital. How do you feel today?"

"I've never felt better" she smiled up at the hunter.

"Yeah? Nothing new bothering you?" Lillian questioned.

"Are you trying to politely ask me if I'm.." she leaning in closer gesturing her finger in a circle motion around her head and whispered "crazzzy."

Lillian laughed softly "No, not at all."

"It's okay. I know what people must think of me."

"Well I don't care what others think right now, I want to know what you think." Lillian looked at her serious.

She leaned in close just as serious, "I think what I saw was real."

Lillian grabbed a chair and sat down in front of Gloria now "What was it that you saw exactly?"

"You must've seen it. It was on the news. I stabbed a man in the heart."

She nodded "What caused you to do that?"

"It was God's will" Gloria looked somewhat proud of herself. She seemed proud to carry out such a strong task given to her.

"Did God speak to you himself?" Lillian was very interested now.

"No, he sent someone. I get the feeling God is a bit too busy for house calls."

"Who did he send?"

"He sent an angel. This beautiful bright white light came to me and it filled me with this feeling. It's difficult to describe…" Gloria tried to explain.

"This angel.. told you God wanted you to kill that man?" Lillian asked. She had to understand every detail Gloria was telling her. The way she described what she saw already sounded angelic. A part of her felt nervous now that she could end up encountering another angel.

"It spoke God's word. I know it sounds strange but I helped smite an evil man. What I did was very important. I was chosen for redemption."

"Did the angel ever tell you their name by any chance? Or why that man had to die?"

"No, he did not give me his name. I just know what the angel told me. That the man was guilty of his deepest foundations and that was good enough for me."

As the conversation started to wrap up Lillian smiled at Gloria and stood up "Thank you for sharing with me today. It was pleasant talking with you"

"It was a pleasure meeting you" Gloria said as Lillian walked out of the room.

Once Lillian closed the door she made her way down an empty corridor and down the stairs to exit the building. Going down the stairs she was looking at her feet so she didn't fall. A weird nervous habit she picked up on from being clumsy and falling down a lot as a kid. Almost at the bottom of the stairs she collided with a tall frame and heard an 'oof' sound. Looking up she met the eyes of her twin.

"Sam?" She questioned confused. "What are you doing here? Is Dean around?" she moved her head around nervously to try to look around Sam as if Dean could pop up any second.

He looked down at her with furrowed brows and shook his head "Deans at the motel and I could ask you the same thing." Sam was dressed in the same type of scrubs as her. Dean and him must've ended up on the same case as her.

"I'm working a case.."

"I thought you were staying with Bobby?" he asked feeling himself getting angry that his sister lied.

"I was there.. for a few hours" she spoke the last part very quietly hoping he wouldn't hear.

"Why!? Did you want to avoid us? If you were going to hunt anyways then why would you split on us? Why lie? We are better together!" Sam got in his sisters face now. He was hurt and felt betrayed.

"I just needed time alone Sam! There is nothing wrong with being independent. At least I kept contact! You went to stanford and it was like you didn't even exist so you don't have any right being angry with me about this!" She was still hurt that Sam stopped talking to her when he left to go to Stanford. She didn't do anything wrong, at least she didn't think she did. Sam was her best friend and she felt that he was the one in their family that understood her the best. To have him cut her off like that hurt her more than he seems to realize or at least show.

Sam's face scrunched up in disgust when she brought up Stanford. He turned away from her. Sam quickly started descending down the stairs away from her now. He didn't want to talk about Stanford. He didn't want to talk about why he stopped talking to her. Around the time his visions started is also around the same time he started feeling weird about his sister. Growing up he had always been caring and over protective of her. She is his twin. Sometimes they felt like two sides of the same coin. Without her he feels like he can't be whole. Though sometime after 21st birthday it started feeling less in a sibling way and more of a longing for her type of way. He hated himself for it. In every single way it is morally wrong but he yearned for her. He pushed his desires down and distanced himself far away from her by cutting her out of his life once he went away to school. He started dating Jess which first started off as a distraction from his flooding thoughts about Lillian. He did fall for her but he knew throughout the whole relationship he would never be able to give her the love that she gave him. He always felt that a part of her knew that something was holding him back. He hated this part of himself.

"Don't walk away from me!" Lillian chased after him angrily. "You can't just run away again Sam!" Her eyebrows were scrunched together as she yelled after him, running down the last step towards the door.

They were outside now. Lillian was facing Sam's back. Sam was jingling his keys nervously as he refused to face her. "Sam you are the biggest jerk I know! I don't care anymore!" she came up behind him and pushed him forward to get his attention. "The case is all yours! You don't want to work shit out then fine… I'm outta here" she turned and left for her car. In her mind it was better to cut him off before he could cut her off. If it was on her own terms it made her angrier and she worked better with anger than she did with sadness. Anger was a comfort to her.

Starting her car she drove away from the hospital towards the motel she was staying at to gather her things. Thinking rationally now with a clear head, she was disappointed now that she gave up this case. She could've been so close to reaching out to another angel. Though it doesn't matter now anyways. What's done is done and there's no need to dwell on it.

She was angry with Sam and why he would be so weird about opening up. Lillian was frustrated and utterly confused on what could have him so wound up that he wouldn't talk to her. Maybe he still wasn't over Jess so it was touchy talking about Stanford. Or something really bad happened there. Usually they always open up to each other about everything. Well not everything. She still has her secrets, maybe this is one of his secrets he can't talk about. Though why would he be so weird about it? Why would he stop talking to her for almost two years?

Sitting in her car at the parking of the motel, Lillian let out a frustrated groan while leaning her head back on the headrest of the car. After taking a breather she stepped out of the car and headed back towards her room to gather her things and check out.

Back in her room she changed her clothes and gathered her belongings quickly. She checked out of her room and paid the front desk. Stepping into her car once again, she was back on the road.

A/N:

I just want to clarify there is NOT going to be sam/lillian in the story. no incest. gross, guys this isn't game of thrones okay? there will appear to be elements of it and like minor (VERY VERY MINOR) bits later on when there's demon blood junkie sam and soulless sam MAYBE, but they are siblings.. i'm not writing this story for that pairing… it just gives drama