Twilight belongs to Stephenie Meyer

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Where the Lines Overlap

Season 1 - Stuck on You

In time you'll see the truth

"So, you're heading to his house?" Emm asked me as soon as I got the tent bag in my car's trunk.

"It's late, I don't wanna barge in when he's probably asleep already." I replied while shaking my head. "But I'll talk to him first thing tomorrow morning."

Emmett leaned on his car hood and looked at me with a weird gaze.

I mimicked him on the side of my car and heaved a sigh. I could see he had questions, and I felt inclined to answer.

"Ask away, Emm." I said in a slightly strained tone.

He went straight to the point.

"Why did you sleep with Alice?" He pursed his lips and sighed before going on. "I'm not judging, it's your life, man. But, shit… After everything that Alice did to you…"

"I wasn't thinking." I answered, feeling deeply ashamed.

"Don't get me wrong, please. She's my baby sister and I love her despite her flaws. But, fuck, she's a demon… I don't think she deserves you."

"I know. And there's no way for me to justify that, but… I was drunk and…" I started to explain but he cut me off.

"And besides that… there's Bella. I don't know what's this thing between you two, but… whatever it is, shagging one of her friends will surely hurt her."

It stunned me silent, and I'm pretty sure I was looking at him as if another head had just popped out on his shoulder.

"I'm sorry. I don't wanna pry… I just… I care about her and…"

"Bella and I are just friends, Emm." I rushed to affirm. "There's nothing between us."

He didn't seem to believe me, so I huffed and shook my head, deciding to clear some things up.

"Look, I had this crazy crush on her once…" I confessed, feeling surprisingly at ease to disclose that to him, and he looked at me expectantly. "But nothing happened. She dismissed me without even blinking. We're just friends."

"Pretty close friends." He insisted, still a little suspicious. "You two kiss all the time. On the lips."

"We just peck each other's lips, Emmet, and it's not all the time. It's a tender gesture between two best friends who really love each other in a pure way. It became kind of automatic, actually. I don't think we really think when we do it, we just do it." I shrugged. "Believe me, there's nothing carnal about the kisses we share." I affirmed. "We're pretty close, yeah, but… she's not the person that makes my legs go weak." I bent my head, my feelings for Edward bubbling up my chest as a painful reminder of the truth.

Silence settled between us for a moment. And when I was about to move so we could get going, Emmett's question caught me off guard.

"Is it… Edward?" His voice was just above a whisper, but it came out in a deadly serious tone.

My breath got caught up in my throat and I looked aimlessly forward. I was in shock and in no disposition to respond, but as if my rigid stance and silence weren't clarifying enough, I could feel the heat burning my cheeks and neck strongly, telling me my face was deeply, and explicitly, blushed.

"It is… isn't it?" He insisted cautiously. "You know I'm as your friend as I'm Edward's, right?" He added as if talking to a scared kid.

I nodded my head in agreement but kept quiet.

"This means you can trust me… and open up if you want to."

I looked at him, feeling my heart pounding my chest violently.

Emmett straightened up and came closer, placing his big heavy hand on my right shoulder.

"It's okay if you don't wanna talk about it." He said in an assertive tone. "Just know you can, if you need to. I'm here for you."

I sighed.

"I know." I murmured.

I stared at him, a bit of hesitation still nagging in the back of my mind but, at the same time, feeling I could confide in him.

"You can't tell anyone." I blurted out.

He gasped subtly, his eyes slightly surprised.

"You have my word." He vowed.

I exhaled, looked away again, and closed my eyes. It was hard to confess, harder than I thought it would be. Especially because it would be the very first time I would say the whole freaking truth, the one I had just figured out, out loud. But to be truthful, I needed to put that out.

I stalled for a minute or two until I could force the words out of me.

"The thing is, I know I'm not… gay…" I whispered, noticing by my peripheral view that Emmet was nodding. "But still I… I fell for him… I don't know how it happened but… I'm in love with him." My voice was even lower than when I started to speak.

I heard Emmet's low "Wow!", but it didn't stop me. I had opened the gates. The truth was flowing and there was no stopping it.

"I've just figured this out… but I can feel it's been going on for some time. I'm not really sure when it all started but… if I'm being real with myself, I'll have to admit that, somehow, these feelings have always been there… maybe just maturing, or waiting for me to assimilate them."

Emmet squeezed my shoulder. His voice was soft when he spoke carefully.

"You should tell him."

I looked at him and noticed this odd small smile on his lips. I frowned.

"I can't." I breathed out. "I don't wanna ruin our friendship."

"It won't ruin it, believe me." Emmett kind of rushed to say.

"It will." I affirmed, bending my head once again. "He's always been very caring and protective of me… he'll get weird trying not to hurt me if he knows about how I feel."

Emmett heaved a sigh and it sounded a bit out of impatience. It made me look at him questioningly.

"Haven't you heard the saying 'the truth will set you free'?" He asked with his brows furrowed at me. "Trust me on this. You need to tell him. The sooner the better."

I just shook my head.

"Damn, you're as thick as it gets…" He spoke in a low tone as if thinking out loud. I felt myself frowning. "Fine. Just do whatever you think you can to convince him not to go to Oxford. Then you'll be halfway through."

"Halfway through what?"

Emmett huffed and shook his head.

"Solving this… mess." He sounded a bit skeptical.

I just stared at him quizzically as he turned and got in his car.

We bid each other goodbye before he drove away and soon I did the same.

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Next morning I was going to the Cullens but took a little detour to Bella's house. She didn't seem surprised at all to see me at her door that early in the morning, nor did she disguise the anger she was clearly feeling toward me as she spun on her heels and walked to her back porch without saying a word.

"Nice to know you're alive and well." Her tone was cold once she sat on the bench and glared at me.

I had really upset her.

"I'm sorry I didn't answer your calls, I needed to be on my own." I tried to explain as I sat by her side.

Bella huffed and shook her head. Then she crossed her arms over her chest.

"I was worried. I wouldn't have imposed myself, I just wanted to make sure you were okay enough."

"I know, and I'm truly sorry."

She rolled her eyes and shook her head again before heaving a sigh.

"I suppose you already know about Edward's trip."

"Yeah." I uttered with a heavy breath. "And I suppose you already know about me and…"

"Alice." She completed it promptly. "Yeah, I do. The whole gang does. She isn't one to kiss and not tell."

I heaved a weighted sigh and closed my eyes for a bit.

"I fucked up." I thought out loud.

"Big time." Bella stated pointedly.

I looked at her and she looked at me.

"I was hurting and definitely not thinking…"

She huffed again.

"It doesn't matter, you can't undo it. What's really important is you need to do something about this Oxford's madness."

I exhaled and nodded guardedly.

"I know. I can't let him go to Europe, I need him in my life. I just have no idea what I can do." I sighed.

She sighed too and her voice was kinder when she spoke.

"I have no idea why he decided this last minute, but I have a feeling it's about what happened between you two on Sunday. So… whatever that was, you have to try and fix that."

I frowned.

"I just let him know that I knew about him and Rose. And I asked him for some time to… assimilate it. That's all." I shrugged.

Bella furrowed her eyebrows and tilted her head, clearly confused.

"That's all that happened?" I nodded and she frowned deeper. "What the fuck…?"

"I think…" I spoke warily. "I'm almost sure he already knows about my feelings for him… so… this is probably him trying to protect me. I don't know…"

"It doesn't make any sense." Bella stated confidently. "Edward wouldn't change all his plans with you to protect you. He knows that would hurt you. If what you think is right, and if he really is with Rose, that is… he would just break up with her. It doesn't make any sense to give up his girlfriend and move away from you at the same time, and all just to protect you?"

"I really don't know…" I shook my head. "Right now what I need is to figure out how to make him stay, to change his mind…"

"Just go to him and… be honest, be clear about everything. I think that, if he knows everything you two will have the opportunity to figure this out together."

"I can't tell him everything, Bella… I'm scared."

"Of what? Jay, you know he'll not react badly, that's not who Edward is. Especially not with you."

"Of the outcome… I know who he is but this is just too hard, I…" I looked away and inhaled, gathering the courage to tell Bella what I had figured out. "This is way bigger than I first thought it was. It's not just a crush, Bella, this isn't something simple, it won't just fade away, I…" I huffed and looked at her. "I'm in love with him."

She didn't seem surprised at all as she turned her body to me swiftly. I sighed. Her eyes seemed happy, and there was a faint smile playing on the corners of her lips.

"I love him." I reaffirmed.

She really smiled then, and I smiled back, although I was feeling pretty sad.

"So you finally figured it out."

"Yeah, but it only makes things harder, 'cause I don't want him to go anywhere, I want to keep him in my life, but I'm not sure if I'll be able to share an apartment with him knowing I can only be his best friend and nothing more."

Bella became slightly serious and looked down before gazing at me kindly.

"Maybe you should take a step at a time. Just talk to him like you always have. Open up honestly, let him see you, let him see your feelings, Jay. And then, after you give him all the facts… let him react."

"It's his reaction that I fear…"

She held my hand softly and smiled.

"Wait to cross that bridge when you come to it, okay?" She squeezed my hand. I nodded. "One step at a time, Jay. You can do it."

I nodded again before sighing, and Bella wrapped me in her arms in a gentle embrace.

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Driving to Edward's house was tense. I was trying to gather all the right words to be able to transmit what I really meant. There was so much I wanted and needed to say to him, but I couldn't make myself ready to put my heart out.

I was willing to do what was necessary. I was willing to accept Edward's feelings for my sister, to give him my endorsement, and to deal with their relationship once it got to that. I was also willing to beg him, if needed, to not change his mind about our plans.

I was determined to do everything in my power to convince him that I still was the first person he could count on, I was still his best friend, I was still the boy he grew up with and knew damn well.

I was also prepared to face the struggle that I was about to compromise with. I knew how difficult it would be to behave as normally as possible around him, to accept we couldn't be more than what we were. But I was doing that. That was the only way to keep what I had, that was all I could ever get from him. His friendship, his presence in my life. I was going to stick to that so I could go on. I had a terrible sensation that my feelings for Edward would never change, but I was young, and I had much to live yet, I didn't know what the future held for me, things could take a different turn, I just had to be patient and settle with what was possible for me to have by then.

I heaved a sigh and trapped my lower lip between my teeth. As I approached the neighborhood I got more and more nervous.

I parked my car outside, something really unusual, and instead of entering straight through the gate, I took a deep breath and rang the bell. Then I waited.

My heart was racing and I was kinda fidgeting. I knew that soon I would be trembling slightly, but I hung in there. I didn't wait long. Mrs. C took only two minutes to come to the front of the house with a curious look.

"Jay?!" She exclaimed clearly surprised as she recognized me standing outside the wooden gate. "What are you doing?" She had a beautiful smile on her face. "Did something happen?"

Esme was a very kind person, one of the kindest I've ever met. It was from her that Edward had inherited his subtlety and amiability. And I loved her almost as much as I loved my momma.

I smiled shyly and shrugged.

"Uh, I need to talk to Edward…?" The sentence sounded like a question as I tried, unsuccessfully, to hide my uncertainty and embarrassment.

Esme opened the gate and looked at me somewhat amused.

"Then why aren't you already in his room with him?" She questioned obviously confused. "Since when do you need to ring the bell and wait for someone to allow your entrance?"

I smiled apologetically to her as I passed by her with my head hanging low.

"It's… Complicated." I mumbled. "We're kind of… taking some time apart..." I shrugged.

"Oh." She seemed to suddenly remember something. "Yes. Carl told me about that." She wasn't surprised at all even though Edward and I never used to argue. We'd only had one quarrel our whole life, the whole "Alice shit", and our non-speaking terms lasted no more than two weeks, and it all had happened almost two years ago.

I nodded and followed her inside, feeling a little uncomfortable.

"I'm sure it's nothing." She affirmed undisturbed. "Just like that other time. You two are teenagers, it's normal to not see eye to eye sometimes, I think it's actually very healthy to have some differences now and then. A good conflict nourishes character and strengthens your personalities and your relationship." She was speaking in her special placid tone, a tone that Edward used to name as her psych mode.

But I didn't mind she was using her professional skills to calm me if that was what she was doing. I actually liked it whenever she talked to me that way.

Mrs. C stopped and turned to me before the end of the hall to the living room. She held my shoulders with her small hands and looked at me with her crystal-light blue eyes. They reminded me of Edward's eyes when he was happy...

"Don't worry too much and don't get all strange. It's part of the process of growing up, you two will argue a lot throughout your lives. But you boys are like brothers." I cringed. "Nothing will ever be grave enough to really separate you two."

With that, I had to force the most fake smile I had ever feigned. The ache in my chest, provoked by the harsh reality, made me need to take a deep breath.

That was the way I was seen by them, and obviously by Edward too. I was family.

I didn't mind, at all, that Mr. And Mrs. C saw me as a son. I actually felt very happy with that. But knowing that Edward saw me as a little brother hurt like hell.

We resumed walking and soon we were in the living room. We stopped before the stairs just as Mr. C was coming from the kitchen. I felt immediately tense again.

Why is everyone home today? I thought to myself.

"Hey, Jay." He greeted me with what seemed withheld contentment. "You're okay?"

I only had the decency to nod. I couldn't do much else. I was still nervous as hell.

"Edward is outside." He informed me with a faint smile, pointing to the pool area with a tilt of his head. "I assume you're here to talk him out of his latest decision?" Surprisingly, he seemed almost joyful with that perspective.

"Yeah." I sounded decided, my voice steady. "But I still don't know how to do this…"

Mr. C came to me and held my shoulders firmly, much as Mrs. C had just done in the hall.

"Just go to him." His dark blue eyes were fierce in mine, and I had the odd impression he was trying to communicate something to me. "He needs you."

I nodded and didn't waste any more time.

With determined steps, I walked out of the house through the lateral door that would lead me to the porch. I saw him at our old spot, under the Oak tree in his mother's garden. He was sitting on the swing, swaying lazily with his eyes closed.

I was immediately affected by the simple sight of him.

I stopped and sighed, just taking a minute to reign over my feelings and to contemplate Edward.

How could I have spent so many years without noticing the sheer beauty of him? How could I have spent so much time by his side without noticing how my heart stumbled through the beats, anxious to fly off my chest and run to him? Or was it all really that recent…?

It couldn't be… not given the intensity of the sentiment. I had been blind, I had been oblivious, by no means the love I felt for him had just emerged out of nothing.

I swallowed hard, looking down for a moment to control the vehemence of the emotion. It made me breathless. Once I calmed down a little, a minute later, I resumed my contemplation.

At first, he seemed distracted, deeply lost in thought, but it wasn't long before he noticed my presence, without even opening his eyes, I may add. I could identify the exact moment it happened.

As I fixed my gaze a little more intensely on his perfect face, trying to gauge his mood, he braked his slow moves by dragging his feet over the grass, his body getting rigid. He visibly took a deep breath while I suddenly remembered him saying something to me that, at the time it happened, hadn't made much sense.

Whenever you're looking at me. I can always tell.

And so it finally dawned on me what he'd meant.

I mused how I had never realized till that moment that we were this deeply connected. We were so linked, so tuned, that we could feel one another before even seeing each other. I thought this was something that happened only to me but… apparently, it happened to him too.

I wanted so desperately that it meant something more than just how strong our connection was… but I knew that was it. That was all.

Edward opened his eyes but didn't look at me. He just waited.

I understood that was my cue, so I inhaled deeply and exhaled as slowly as I could, trying to calm down. Then I walked to him, in silence, paying attention to his every minimum move, until I was close enough. I stopped and crouched down right beside him.

He finally looked my way. Our eyes were almost on the same level and as they met, and into his I could read hesitation.

I sighed.

"Hi…" I kind of mumbled nervously.

He exhaled heavily before answering in the same tone.

"Hey…"

"Can we talk?" My voice broke ridiculously mid-sentence.

He heaved a trembling breath and nodded.

We stared at each other's eyes a little until he looked away, seeming uncomfortable.

My eyes fell involuntarily to his left arm, resting in a black nylon arm sling, and I followed the length to his hand enclosed in cast.

"Why the cast?" I asked in a light tone, looking pointedly at his main hand.

Edward looked at me and then at the arm sling.

"Two broken fingers and a sprained wrist." He explained concisely in a soft voice.

"When did it happen?" I could feel myself frowning.

"Last Sunday." He looked at me briefly, before gazing down.

"But… your hand was fine last time I saw you…" I cautiously commented.

"I hurt it afterward."

I sighed, feeling a bit weird.

"How?" I sounded as confused as I felt.

"I kind of…" He hesitated, but then his gaze got glassy. "...punched a wall. Repeatedly." He completed.

I gasped.

"Why would you do that…?!"

"I was angry… at myself." He answered simply, shrugging and shaking his head.

I shook my head too, disgusted with myself and with what I made him feel. That was definitely my fault.

"You should be angry at me… I'm the one who acted like a selfish jerk."

Edward looked at me, and his eyes were so stormy, so gray that I knew, I simply knew he was struggling.

"You didn't. I actually think you reacted pretty well… 'cause I know that it shocked you…" He looked down again and I sighed, feeling my heart getting smaller. "At least you were honest about how you felt regarding the whole thing. You were not a jerk, you just needed time to assimilate it, I get it."

"I want you to understand…" I started slowly, my hands beginning to shake. "...why it is difficult for me to… accept it…"

"You don't have to explain it. I understand." He looked at me seriously.

"You do…?" My voice was barely there.

It had been just a suspicion, but it seemed I had the confirmation…

"I do, Jay." He affirmed and smiled softly. "And I'm so sorry for putting you in that position. These feelings… I assure you, they don't affect our friendship. Nothing has to change between us."

He knew. He really did and he seemed okay with it…

"You promise?" I asked in a begging tone. "Because I don't wanna be away from you, Edward. You're my best friend above all of it, and I don't wanna lose you."

"You'll never lose me." He asserted. "We are and we'll always be best friends, it'll never change, it doesn't matter what happens… or where we are."

I caught that. And it immediately caused a lump to form in my throat.

"You're talking about Oxford." My voice came out kinda strangled.

He looked away for an instant and then brought his eyes back to mine and sighed. He nodded as I arched my brows at him.

"Why didn't you tell me?" I asked quietly, my eyes glued on his face.

He took almost a whole minute to answer.

"It wasn't an option. So I didn't think it was important."

"I thought we didn't keep secrets from each other." I gave back a little harshly.

I was such a hypocrite...

"I'm sorry." He whispered, disarming me. "I should have told you."

"Why didn't you?" I insisted, wanting a plausible explanation.

"I didn't want you to know." He confessed in a weak voice and I felt my heart sink.

I wanted to ask why but my strength was drained all of a sudden. He hadn't wanted to share something of that magnitude with me… I didn't understand.

"It was just a precaution, a backup plan. Something I would make use of if something went wrong."

His admission surprised me because, by what it seemed, he'd been expecting something to go wrong between us for some time. The only logical explanation I could find was that he'd been having feelings for Rose for a while, and he knew how that would affect our relationship.

But then, despite the hurt that realization provoked, it dawned on me that none of that really mattered. I didn't care about any of it, I just didn't want him to go away.

"I don't want you to go." I blurted out.

Edward's eyes became a bit bigger. I could see he wanted to ask, but he didn't. Instead, he sighed as if resigning himself before speaking in a steady tone.

"At first, I didn't want to go either but … I think this is the best way…"

"Edward, I promise you I can deal with this." I tried to sound as certain as possible.

"But you don't have to." He shrugged. "And… I think it'll be good for us… to have some space."

I frowned, having no idea what he was talking about.

"I don't need space, I'm telling you I can handle it, it won't be awkward at all, I won't make you feel uncomfortable." I rushed through the words. "Besides… what about Rose? Are you just going to give up on her? You don't have to do that."

It was Edward's turn to frown.

"What are you talking about?"

"Isn't it obvious? If you go to Oxford you two will never see each other… I mean, sure you can do the long-distance thing but… is it really necessary? Or even feasible?" I heaved a sigh. "Or are my feelings for you really so terrifying that you have to go away?"

Time seemed to come to a halt.

Suddenly Edward's face was paler and his whole stance stiffened.

"Your… feelings…?" He kinda mumbled, his lips barely moving. "For me…?"