A/N- I'M ALIVE! I won't bore you here with a long note. Enjoy the chapter! It's a long one. All standard disclaimers apply, and as always there is a standing mature content warning for this story, to include blood, gore, violence, and adult situations/content.

This Horrible, Beautiful World

Chapter 4: Reunion

The Hogwarts Express rocketed down the tracks as it always did on the first of September. It was full nearly to bursting, this year having had an especially large group of first years. If one were to catch a glimpse into the cars they'd see the boisterous groups of children, laughing together in their compartments, chasing each other down the passages, and dodging the poor prefects who'd been given the unhappy task of corralling so many. All in all, it seemed a much merrier trip than many had expected, given the revelations of the previous summer.

All except for one compartment. In the last car of the beloved train there was a compartment that only housed one occupant. Despite the swollen number of passengers, the compartments occupant had charmed the door shut as soon as they'd entered and refused to allow anyone in. This had perturbed some of the other students, especially the prefects since the occupant was one of them, but she seemed to have no interest in carrying out her duties. It also seemed to have enraged two red headed children, one a young man and the other a girl, who'd spent nearly half an hour banging on the door. It had little effect, as the young woman inside had silenced the door as well. She hadn't even glanced at them as they'd tried to gain entry, and eventually they'd departed. She had been blessed with peace ever since, which suited her just fine. At least, until nature made itself known to her.

Hermione Granger was seated with her back to the door, which she'd drawn the shades on when Ron and Ginny had been trying to get her to let them in, and her legs stretched out as she thumbed absent mindedly through a book she'd ordered earlier in the summer. She'd already changed into her uniform, only forgoing the robe itself for comforts sake until they arrived at the castle. Her normally bushy hair looked absolutely wild, despite her having corralled it into a low knot. Strands fell loosely at the front, framing her face and highlighting the honey-colored eyes that were currently hidden behind a well used pair of reading

With a sigh of frustration, she closed the tome in her lap and snatched the glasses from her face. The pressure that had been building in her mid-section had now become too much for her to bear any longer. The teenage witch had been determined not to leave the fortress she'd staked for herself for any reason, but now she had no choice. Biology be damned.

She tossed the book and her folded readers onto the opposite bench before rising, drawing her wand smoothly as she moved. She made quick work of removing her spell work, and with little fuss she was on her way to the lavatory. Luckily her need to use the loo had been perfectly timed with the trolly's last run through the car, ensuring that everyone else was sufficiently distracted to pay the brunette slipping from her compartment and darting across the corridor any mind.

Thankfully she'd managed to get to her destination and take care of her business uninterrupted, all while managing to keep her powerful mind fully focused on the task at hand, and not on the green eyes that had been haunting her all summer.

She couldn't help but wonder where Ron and the others had ended up as she washed her hands. Surely he wouldn't have given up so easily. The boy was as stubborn as a troll when he wanted something.

She couldn't help but take a quick glance at herself in the small, grubby mirror before departing. She didn't care for what she saw. At first glance she probably didn't look that off, other than her unusually out of control hair. A quick application of some cosmetics had seen to that, despite her usual distaste for the stuff. Still, despite her efforts the dark circles under her eyes were still slightly visible if one looked closely, and she looked a bit thin. She snorted ungracefully.

Having your world completely fall apart in just a few months would do that to a girl.

The train rocked surprisingly hard as she exited, nearly sending her crashing into the silvery-eyed girl that had apparently been waiting for her just outside the narrow door. She stopped herself from colliding with the younger witch by slamming her hand into the opposite wall and bracing herself with her foot, resulting in a comical sort of spread eagle pose that made the blonde giggle.

"Hello Hermione." She said, her voice as dreamy as ever.

"Luna." Hermione said in greeting as she collected herself. "What brings you here? Nargles?" She asked, trying to sound friendly but only succeeding in sounding sarcastic. If it bothered Luna, she didn't show it.

"Oh no, there wouldn't be any Nargles here. They don't like tension, you're far too upset." She said, clasping her hands behind her back and tilting her head a bit as she spoke. "I came to check on you. Neville had quite the time getting Ronald and Ginerva to come back to our car earlier. They're quite worried about you."

Hermione made a mental note to thank the Longbottom heir the next time she saw him, while trying to not be unnerved by how easily the girl had seen through her.

"I'm fine." She said quickly, again failing to keep the bite from her tone. Realizing her mistake, Hermione closed her eyes and took a deep breath, trying to calm some of the tension in her body. "I'm sorry Luna, I'm not trying to be so rude." She said after a moment, locking eyes with her. "I really am alright." At least, as much as she could be under the circumstances.

"It's alright." She said, giving her a surprisingly warm smile and placing a hand on her arm in a gesture of support. Hermione was surprised at the warmth she felt from the touch. It was calming and drove away some of the numbness she'd gotten so used to for the past few months. "I'll tell them." Luna told her, turning on her heel and starting down the corridor. "By the way," Luna called back to her as she walked. "I hope you'll tell me what happened to Harry Potter when you're ready. The Weasleys won't say a word and I miss him very much already."

The girl departed without another word, leaving a bewildered Hermione in her wake.

The numbness returned.

When she slid the door to her compartment open, she'd been looking down the corridor to make sure she wouldn't be ambushed by angry Weasleys, so it was only when she'd entered the compartment fully and shut the door that she realized she wasn't alone. Hermione froze, eyes widening in shock as she stared at her new companion.

There, standing with his back against the window and his hands casually resting in his pockets, was the last person she'd ever expected to see. Brown met silvery-gray once more, but this time there was no friendship or warmth in them.

"What do you want, Malfoy?" Hermione all but growled, her right hand clenching into a fist while her left slowly started drifting behind her back towards her wand.

"Granger." Draco Malfoy said smoothly in greeting. Hermione couldn't help the gratification she felt when Draco's eyes glanced warily towards her clenched fist, then back to her. He stood up straight, but moved slowly and kept his hands in his pockets, almost as if he wanted her to know he wasn't a threat. He'd already changed into his uniform as well, but like her had forgone his robe. He also had his sleeves rolled up, and his hair looked a bit messier than usual. This was as close to disheveled as she'd ever since the blonde ponce.

The silence in the compartment was deafening, until finally the wizard spoke.

"Is it true?" He asked her, his voice surprisingly earnest. His voice lacked it's usual venom when he addressed her, which took her by surprise.

'Is what true?" She bit out. Her hand closed on her wand, ready to draw it should Draco so much as flinch at her.

"Potter. Is he really not on the train?"

Hermione's eyes widened, but not at Draco's question. It was the surprising look of anxiety in the Slytherin prince's eyes that took her aback. His face was impassive, which was disconcerting in and of itself since he usually only sneered at her, but his eyes gave him away. Was Draco Malfoy actually concerned about Harry? Had she somehow strayed into some kind of horrible alternate reality where up was down and left was right and red was blue and…

"Well? Out with it." Draco said, his tone hardening.

"I… He…" Hermione stammered, not sure what to say. Draco had never been more than a bully to her, but he was the son of a known Death Eater, and Dumbledore's letter had been quite clear on not giving away information. To anybody. She expected Ron and Ginny had been given similar instructions, since they hadn't said anything to Luna about Harry's disappearance. "He's not here." She finally said, deciding that it was pointless to deny it. If Draco had already heard, then the whole train likely knew.

"So it's true then." Draco said, casting his eyes down and speaking so lowly she'd only just heard him. He raked his fingers through his blonde hair, which was cut a bit shorted than in previous years but still in his usually style. The gesture was uncomfortably familiar to her, and only increased the strangeness of the situation.

Harry used to do the exact same thing when he was frustrated or upset.

Draco seemed lost in thought for a moment, his gaze wandering around the cabin until his eyes lingered on the book she'd casually tossed onto the bench. Hermione felt her stomach tighten. She'd been careless to leave it there. The Malfoy heir's eyes met hers once more, a brow raising for a moment before returning to the disconcertingly blank expression he'd been wearing before.

"I think you should leave." Hermione said, doing her best to sound firm and making a show of drawing her wand from behind her back. She kept it pointed at the floor, but her message was clear.

Draco only stared at her for a long moment, as if he was curious to see if she'd really hex him. If he could've read her thoughts, the wizard would've tucked tail already. Her experiences at the Ministry and over the summer had left the teenage witch with a bit of a hair trigger, and she was dangerously close to throwing all caution to the wind and launching a preemptive volley at him. Then, after what seemed like an eternity but in reality was only a few seconds, he was coming towards her. Draco was still moving deliberately slow as to not antagonize her, both hands now back in his pockets. Hermione shifted from the door to allow him to exit the car, still wary of him. He slipped past her and out into the corridor wordlessly, only the scent of his expensive cologne left in his wake.

Hermione slammed the compartment door shut the moment he was gone, immediately reapplying her security charms before slumping against it, releasing the breath she hadn't realized that she'd been holding onto for so long.

What the fuck just happened?

The anger, frustration, and sadness she'd been keeping at bay all day finally began to break through then, tears stinging in her eyes.

She wished he was here. God in heaven, she wished.

He always knew what to do, how to handle these types of tense situations. The bespectacled idiot was a born leader, and he'd always been the bravest of them all. She felt lost without him, and so, so very alone.

Sliding down against the door until her bottom met the floor, she drew her knees to her chest.

"Harry, where are you?" She whispered aloud to herself, glancing listlessly out the window. The scenery whipping by gave her no answers, the sky only growing darker as the young girl wept.

The remainder of the journey to the castle passed without incident. She'd already packed her things long before they'd arrived, so as soon as the train stopped, she'd been able to dash from her compartment, out the door, and onto the landing. She'd nearly sprinted to the carriages, trying to ignore the ghastly creatures pulling them. They only reminded her of the terrible things that had happened ever since they'd so foolishly gone on the ill-fated rescue mission last June.

"Hermione!"

She turned, seeing Ron pushing his way through the growing throng of students. He was smiling and waving towards her as he pushed his way along. The smile fell from his face when he saw her scowl.

Hermione turned away from him and climbed into the carriage, slamming the door shut behind herself. Ron made it there a moment later. He looked at her through the window, mouthing something and trying to open the door but she'd already applied the same charms that she'd used on the train. When he realized what she'd done Ron's face immediately flamed red, brows creasing in anger. He was banging on the door now. Hermione's eyes widened as he used enough force to rattle the whole carriage, the old wood creaking under his assault.

Outside, Ronald Weasley was stringing together a line of curses that would've made his mother murder him if she'd heard.

"Open the damn door, Hermione!" He yelled, pulling hard on the handle. "I just want to talk to you! You can't still be angry at me! For fucks sake!"

Hermione, having had enough, simply leveled her wand at the window. If Ron couldn't take a hint, she'd just have to stun the fool and serve the inevitable detentions. Suddenly, Ron turned away and stepped back as if he'd been burned, his head snapping to his left.

Curious, Hermione moved closer to the window and removed the silencing charm.

"The hell did you say to me, Malfoy?" Ron roared over the crowd.

"I said I don't think she wants to talk to you, Weasley." Draco said. His usual haughtiness had returned, but Hermione couldn't help but notice that he was alone. She'd chalked it up to a fluke earlier when he'd visited her without his flunkies, but Crabbe and Goyle were both noticeably absent once again.

"It's none of your business, prat. Get lost." Ron commanded, turning back to the carriage.

"I think it is, actually. As a prefect, I can't let you harass another student."

Ron turned back to him, jaw hanging open comically before his temper ignited further.

"That's rich coming from an arse like you Malfoy." Ron growled. "And I'm a prefect too. You've got no authority over me, so get bent before I make you."

"Really now?" Draco drawled. His demeanor was still relaxed, but his eyes flashed dangerously at the challenge. "Think you can tangle with the big kids, Weaselby? I'd be careful if I were you."

She couldn't believe what was happening, but she knew she had to intervene. Something was different with Draco. Despite him being alone he seemed more… dangerous. Hermione was removing the charm from the door so she could jump out and help the red-haired fool when a booming voice cut through the crowd.

"That'll be enough out of the both of yeh!" Hagrid roared, making his way over in just a few steps thanks to his massive gait. "Yeh should be embarrassed of yerselves! Prefects and all that, fighting in front of the other students like that! Get moving, or the Headmaster will hear about this!"

Draco was the first to back down, smirking and shaking his head.

"Saved by the half breed, Weaselby." He said, turning and stalking away.

"Cunt." Ron grumbled under his breath, low enough so that only Hermione heard it thanks to their proximity. He cast another angry look at Hermione through the window, who returned it with equal vigor, before he stalked off to find another carriage for himself. Hermione breathed a sigh of relief. If he'd tried the door he would've been able to get in since she'd removed the charm, and then she probably would've had to hex him. She didn't relish the idea of having to face the inevitable disappointment Hagrid would have likely shown if she'd done so.

She'd just leaned back against the aged cushions when the carriages started rolling. A glance up at the castle made her feel another pang of loneliness and loss.

This was always Harry's favorite part of the trip.

The young witch had been lost in a daydream as they pulled up to the castle steps, memories of past years arrivals swimming through her mind. The three of them together, laughing and smiling. Ron and Harry tossing candy at each other while she shook her head in good natured exasperation. The golden trio.

So much for that.

Her eyes stung once again as she disembarked from the carriage, but she brutally repressed her emotions, taking a few deep breaths to calm herself. She would not show any weakness. Not here.

She was also still trying to unpack the fact that Draco Malfoy had defended her as she climbed the steps. She supposed that he could've just wanted to have a go at Ron since Harry wasn't there and the red head was an easy target, but he'd also been surprisingly cordial to her on the train. He'd even gone out of his way to not appear threating to her.

Hermione was so lost in thought she nearly went through the doors without noticing the figure leaning against one of the pillars, slightly hidden in the flickering shadows cast by the castles torches.

She froze mid stride. Not daring to turn around in case her mind was playing tricks on her.

"Hermione." His deep voice called. Despite the distance, it reverberated through her. She had always secretly relished in the way that he said her name. He never shortened it or tried to call her by some silly nickname. He said every syllable, every time. It never failed to make her shiver pleasantly.

Finally finding the will to move, Hermione whirled around. Green met brown and she gasped, hands coming up to her mouth to hide her shock. Please let this be real. She thought. Please don't let this be another dream.

He smiled at her then, and she knew. She knew it in her very soul.

He was here.

She tried to speak but the words simply wouldn't come. He was standing there like he'd been there all along, hands in his pockets and that same soft smile that had haunted her so completely this summer on his face. The young witch threw herself at the raven haired boy without another thought. He caught her easily, strong arms wrapping around her as a chuckle rumbled in hist chest.

"You're really here." She said, clinging to him for dear life, crushing herself to him as if she was afraid he would vanish again.

"I'm here." He whispered into her ear. He buried his face into her shoulder, breathing deeply and holding her close. Her body sang at the contact.

"Where have you been Harry? What happened to you? What happened in Oxford?" She rambled, firing off question after question. Her only answer was him smiling in amusement.

"I'll tell you everything Hermione, I promise. Just not yet. Not here." He told her, brushing the loose strands of her hair from her face. Hermione leaned into his touch, eyes closing blissfully before snapping back open a second later, her entire demeanor shifting from unfathomable joy to sheer rage in an instant. Harry's eyes widened and he took a half step back from her, suddenly and rightfully wary of the angry witch in his arms.

"HARRY! JAMES! POTTER! YOU! COMPLETE! ARSE!" She half growled, half screeched at him. Every word was punctuated by a half hazard blow to his chest. "You left me! How could you leave me?! After what happened? After everything we've been through?" She told him, still beating on his chest but with lessening force. Despite them being in a darkened corner of the castle's entryway a few students had stopped to stare at them curiously. Tears were starting to shine in her honey orbs. "After what I told you?" she asked, unable to help the blush rising to her cheeks despite her distress. "How could you Harry?!" She asked him. Her eyes had never left his, but she couldn't make out what he was feeling behind those pools of green. "How cou…. Mmphf!"

Harry had grown tired of her rambling, so he'd silenced her the best way he could think of. By planting his lips firmly onto hers.

Hermione froze at first, shocked to the core at the sudden contact. She was still long enough for Harry to panic faintly, thinking that he'd misjudged her emotions, but soon enough she was leaning back into him, wrapping her arms around his neck and pulling him towards her hungrily. If her body had been singing before, now it was absolutely vibrating. His kiss sent shocks of electricity through every inch of her, making her anger evaporate instantly. He'd pulled her flush against him now, and she mewled into the kiss. They broke only to gasp for air before their lips crashed together once more.

"I'm. Still. Mad. At. You!" She managed to huff out between gasps of air as he continued to kiss her senseless.

"Be quiet Hermione." Harry commanded softly. A cry of surprise from their left broke the two teens out of their reverie.

"Harry?!"

The two looked over to see a small crowd had gathered at the top of the steps, stopping the flow of students. Ron, Ginny, Neville, and Luna stood at the front, with the twins, Dean, and Seamus not far behind them. The twins whistled, both wiggling their eyebrows at them suggestively and grinning. Dean and Seamus were smiling, as were Luna and Neville. But it was Ron and Ginny that concerned them. Ron's face was turning rapidly deeper shades of crimson, his earlier anger apparently having not abated. Ginny just looked shocked, eyes wide and her mouth open.

Ron opened his mouth, likely to start shouting, but was cut off by Professor McGonagall coming through the castle doors.

"Come now, let's get moving. The first years will be here shortly. Move along, all of you. Mov…"

The elderly witch had been looking at the crowd when she came out, but when her eyes found Harry and Hermione she froze, stopping mid sentence and eyes widening.

"Mr. Potter!" She gasped.

"Professor." Harry said smoothly. Releasing Hermione but taking her hand in his own. He'd glanced over to the others as he'd done so, making Hermione blush a deep scarlet as she realized he was clearly making sure there were no misconceptions regarding their relationship. Wait, what was their relationship now? He'd just kissed her, and MERLIN she'd enjoyed it, and she had confessed to him over the summer, but she'd lost consciousness and…

"I'm so glad to see you, dear boy." McGonagall said, snapping Hermione out of her spiraling thoughts. "I'm sure the Headmaster will want to speak with you right away."

"Could it wait until after the feast, Professor? I'm famished, and I'd love to catch up with Hermione for a bit." He asked calmly. Hermione was suddenly struck by how confidently and easily he was speaking with her. Even the way he held himself seemed different. She blushed again.

The older witch regarded him for a long moment before nodding.

"Very well. When the feast is over, make your way to the Headmaster's office. I'll see to it that he will be ready for you." She said. "Now move along. All of you!" She called out over the crowd. Finally, the students began filing past them and into the castle, headed for the Great Hall. "And Ms. Granger." She said, returning her attention to the two teens before her. "Five points each for public displays of affection. And an additional five for you. I expect my prefects to set a better example."

"Sorry, professor." They said in unison as she left. Hermione turned back to Harry, opening her mouth to spout off another round of questions, but he silenced her with another swift kiss, this one to the side of her mouth.

"Later." He told her, before tugging her hand and leading her into the castle.

Hermione felt dizzy.

She'd been so sure she would be spending the entire year on her own, miserable, and trying desperately to figure out what had happened to the young man now leading her into the castle, that she'd resigned herself to the loneliness. But now here he was, not only by her side but also all but laying claim to her for all to see. She didn't know if she should whack him in the head with a thick book, scream at him again for leaving her, or drag him into a broom closet so he could continue to kiss her until she turned into a warm puddle of goo in his hands. And whatever came afterwards.

Blushing once again, she shook her head to break that particular line of thought before it could really take off. Harry quickly led her to the end of one of the Gryffindor tables near the doors, well away from the majority of the house.

"Don't you want to sit with the others?" She asked him as they took their seats, her sitting next to him on his left.

"Not really." He said offhandedly. He was staring up at the staff table, but his hand still held onto hers. The warmth felt so foreign to her, but it was in no way unpleasant. She glanced up towards the front, following his gaze. Dumbledore sat on his ornate chair, gaze locked on Harry and his expression unreadable. Hermione could only imagine what the old man was probably thinking, Harry having just shown up like this out of the ether, despite them searching so desperately for him.

McGonagall was leaning over to him from his right, whispering to him and casting quick glances their way. Snape was outright staring at Harry from the Headmasters left. His expression was akin to someone who had just accidentally drank sour milk.

"Don't worry." Harry said softly, turning back to her and smiling. Hermione resisted the urge to squirm under his gaze, smiling back at him timidly before looking out at the rest of the hall.

"Everyone is staring at us." Hermione said sheepishly, finally noticing the myriad of eyes watching them.

"Let them."

She happened to glance at the Slytherin table nearest the front and was shocked to see that Draco wasn't there. Confused, she looked around and finally found him at one of the far away tables. In fact, he was nearly at the back like they were, and once again he was oddly alone.

"Something is going on with Malfoy." She said quietly.

"His precious father got into some trouble, and he's paying the price." Harry said, his tone suddenly dark.

Hermione glanced back at him, about to ask him what he meant when the new term ceremonies began. After the song and the sorting were done the food had appeared, Harry seemed delighted to tuck himself into his meal, so she didn't bother to ask further. He'd promised to tell her everything soon. She'd just have to be patient.

They chatted lightly through dinner, mostly Harry asking her questions about inconsequential things like what she'd been reading and what classes she was most looking forward to. It felt so odd to be sitting here talking with him, and she could tell he was deliberately avoiding anything serious, but she relished being in his company all the same. Her loneliness had been so much worse after the attack in Oxford. Confessing to him had only made her heart hurt even more from his loss, so she was determined to make up for lost time. Even if it meant meaningless small talk.

All through the meal she kept seeing the two youngest Weasleys glaring at them, but she decided to ignore them for now. Their combined jealousy was not high on her priority list at the moment.

She kept stealing glances at Harry herself, trying to pick up on any differences. He was definitely different from when she'd seen him at the end of term last year. Their encounter during the summer was still mostly blurry to her, so she couldn't judge much from then. He seemed somewhat larger. As if he had a bit more muscle mass, but he wasn't overly bulky. She could swear he was a bit taller now as well. His hair was a bit longer, similar to their fourth year, but somehow less wild. The glasses he was so known for were also conspicuously absent.

Hermione also realized he wasn't wearing the full uniform. He was wearing the oxford shirt, black trousers, and shoes, but he'd neglected his jumper and robe. It was an odd omission, considering the onset of the Scottish autumn. His tie was there, but only a simple black one instead of the red striped tie signifying their house. It was slightly loose on his neck, and his top button was undone.

"You're staring, Hermione." He told her, his voice a conspiratorial whisper.

"Sorry." She said softly, returning her attention to her food.

Soon enough, too soon in her opinion, the feast ended. Dumbledore gave his speech as always, and then the old wizard disappeared through a side door near the staff table. Hermione knew he was likely making his way to his office to speak with Harry.

They made their way out into the hall, holding hands once again and sharing in a comfortable silence, despite the din the other students made around them.

Ron came up to them then, but a glance from Harry made him keep his distance for the moment.

"Looks like it's time to get to work." He said, smiling at her.

"I can always get someone to cover for me." She said, knowing it was a lie, but desperately not wanting to allow Harry out of her sight.

"It's alright. I have to talk to the old goat anyways. And besides, you have responsibilities, Ms. Granger."

Hermione locked eyes with him for a long moment before she decided she didn't care if Ron was watching. She wrapped her arms around him, pulling him into a bone shattering hug before pecking him on the cheek.

"I'll see you soon?"

She hadn't meant for it to sound like a question, but it had come out that way regardless.

"Of course." He said, releasing her. He glared at Ron for a moment before he nodded stiffly, and turned to make his way down the corridors to the Headmaster without waiting for a reply.

Hermione watched him go. Once he was out of sight, she took a deep breath, marshalled her herself, and turned. She marched straight past Ron, only hissing a quiet "later" at him before raising her voice.

"Gryffindor first years, this way please!"

As she entered the sixth-year girls dormitory, Hermione felt herself finally begin to relax. Luckily, Parvati was already asleep. Lavender was awake but ignored her, simply rolling over to face the opposite direction with a huff. That surprised Hermione a bit since she normally got on well with her roommates, but she shrugged it off. The day had been too much on her as it was. She'd only just managed to avoid being corned by Ronald when they'd gotten to the common room. Between showing the first years through the castle and the obligatory explanations that the trip necessitated, which Ron was all too happy to let her handle, she'd managed to keep busy enough to deter him until they arrived. She'd managed to dodge him once more by escorting the first year girls up the stairs to their room, but she was running out of excuses. Thank goodness the Gryffindor prefects weren't up for rounds until tomorrow night. There'd be no avoiding him then.

She had toed off her shoes, and was about to remove her robe when she stopped. As she always did, she'd reached into the pockets of her robe to ensure they were empty prior to removing it, when she felt a piece of parchment in her right pocket. A smile spread on her tired face. That had been the side facing away from Ron in the entry hall. Harry must've slipped the note into her pocket when she'd hugged him. She recognized his handwriting right away, her smile widening.

ROR. 1 AM.

Remembering the way his kiss had felt, Hermione bit her lip for a moment before tugging her jumper over her head.

Sneaking from her dorm and the common room was so easy for her now that she barely had to try. Lavender was a heavy sleeper, and Parvati was only a little better. All she had to do was creep through the room and be gentle with the door.

Getting through the corridors unseen by Filch or his cat was a bit more difficult, but Hermione had a secret weapon. Crookshanks, her beloved part kneazle cat, loved chasing Ms. Norris around the castle. She'd yowl in terror when he did, and she knew from experience that Filch would chase after them. She heard the suit of armor crash to the floor a few corridors over and knew she was safe.

The trip gave her ample time to try and collect her thoughts. Her mind had been churning all night, and she was still working through the roller coaster of emotions she'd been subjected to tonight.

Harry was here. He was alive. And even more shockingly, he wasn't hesitating to be affectionate with her at all. His behavior was a complete one eighty from when he'd saved her earlier this summer. It disconcerted her a bit honestly, but she wasn't complaining. At least not yet. Regardless, she had questions. And she needed answers.

When she arrived at the fifth floor, she made quick work of entering the room, only stopping to take a deep breath before crossing the threshold.

What she found when she entered was a pleasant, albeit small sitting room. It was complete with a plush sofa winged by two squashy looking armchairs, and a low table, all placed before a roaring fire that served as the main source of light for the room. There was a spread of tea, coffee, and some light biscuits on the table.

"Courtesy of Dobby." Harry said from her left. She turned to face him, unable to stop the smile from spreading on her face.

"I'll have to thank him later." She said softly. Harry made his way over to her when she stood her ground. He took the robe she'd held out to him, having slid it off as she entered the room, and hung it on a stand by the door. He took her hands into his own, his quidditch calloused thumbs bringing goosebumps on her flesh as he brushed them over her skin. She found herself desperately wanting him to kiss her again, despite the burning questions boiling within her. He seemed to hesitate for a moment, as if he was a bit unsure. He opened and closed his mouth twice, struggling to find the right words. "Just kiss me, Harry." She commanded him softly, her eyes smoldering.

Harry shook his head with a soft laugh, before pulling her to him suddenly. She lost her balance but happily crashed into his chest. His hand rose to cup her face gently, and for a moment she was sure her heart might fly out of her chest it was beating so hard.

Slowly, finally, his lips descended on hers once again. Hermione didn't mewl this time, she outright moaned into the kiss as Harry claimed her lips. Soon she was pressed flush against him, kissing him back hungrily. She wasn't sure who had started it, but one of them had deepened the kiss some and they were now waging a battle for dominance with their tongues.

At some point Harry's hands had made their way from her back and her cheek to her hips, and were now lingering just above the swell of her bottom.

She knew they needed to stop. That this was happening very, very quickly. She'd only just gotten him back today. She had so many questions, questions that desperately needed answering. Not to mention that they hadn't even so much as talked about their feelings yet, and the logical part of her brain was telling her she was not that easy of a girl to take to bed, her lack of experience in that area not withstanding.

But this was Harry. Her Harry. The young man who had just claimed her in front of practically the entire school. The boy she thought she'd lost forever, not once, but twice this summer. The boy she'd nearly died for a few weeks before that.

Maybe it was the combination of the depths of her loneliness, the joy of having him back again, or simply her own desire, but her body was alive like never before as he kissed her, driving her inhibitions out the window.

To hell with logic.

She took his hands into hers, not breaking the kiss for a moment, and slid them down over her skirt covered backside. Harry froze for an instant, during which Hermione felt her heart hammering even more wildly in her chest, before he squeezed the soft, warm flesh there with an eagerness that surprised even her. Hermione moaned into his mouth, arching into him as he issued a low growl of his own. The sound went straight to her core, and she knew she was close to losing control completely.

Harry's lips tore from hers, making her gasp at the loss. He kissed a line from the corner of her mouth, moving slowly down her throat, nipping softly at her pulse point. Hermione groaned, her legs getting weak.

Emboldened, Harry dragged one of his hands from her bottom and back over her stomach. Ever so slowly, he dragged it northwards along her torso until he'd cupped her left breast over her clothes. Yet another moan of pleasure released itself from her slight frame, this time louder as her peak hardened instantly despite the layers of clothing.

"Oh god, Harry." She breath, nearly panting as his mouth found her collarbone.

Harry was having just as much of a hard time trying to regain control as she was. He'd only intended to snog her into a happy stupor before they had their talk, but when she'd placed his hands on her backside and pressed her lithe body flush against his own, he'd nearly lost all sense then and there. Her state of dress wasn't helping his desire either. She'd removed her jumper and tie before leaving her dorm, as well as her tights, leaving her in her skirt and blouse. The top two buttons were undone, giving him a view of her creamy skin. The lack of tights or the long socks gave him an excellent view of her legs.

"You're beautiful Hermione." He whispered huskily, tugging the collar of her shirt down a bit to give him better access.

She felt the edge of the couch digging into her calves then and realized that they'd made their way over to the sitting area. Gently Hermione brought his face back up to hers so she could kiss him deeply again, relishing in the feel of his hands on her body. When she broke the kiss she met his eyes for a long moment, her brown orbs blazing as she seemed to be deciding something.

Before Harry could question her, she claimed his lips once more. Without warning she tugged at his shoulders, sending them crashing down onto the couch. Their new position had her pinned beneath him, with him between her legs. Her face burned, but she made no effort to hide herself as Harry looked down, drinking in the sight of her while his hand continued to knead her breast gently. Her brown mane had finally broken loose from the knot she'd had it in earlier and was cascading around her now like some sort of wild halo. Despite her shirt and the thin bra beneath it, the peaks of her breasts were hard and visible to him against the fabric. Her pleated skirt had ridden up thanks to their new position, and he could see the plain black cotton knickers she was wearing beneath it, as well as the rapidly growing dampness where they covered her most intimate place.

"Hermione…" He began, his voice raw and filled with need.

He opened his mouth to speak again, but she silenced him by bringing him back down for a kiss. In truth, she was scared that if either of them spoke, the spell they'd cast on each other would break and they would stop. And gods, she did not want to stop. Hermione had made her choice, and now she wanted to feel every inch of him, to clutch him to her and never let him go. To feel his flesh on her own.

Quickly she unbuttoned her shirt, wanting, no, needing him to see her.

His hands and lips were on her as soon as she'd parted the garment, his mouth closing over her clothed peak. Hermione moaned deeply, arching her back as her hips unconsciously bucked against him. This had the wonderful effect of grinding Harry's hard length against her clothed core, making them both moan and shudder with need.

Their eyes locked, knowing there would be no turning back if they kept going.

"Again." She whispered. And he complied, rocking his hips against hers now as one hand trapped a leg against his waist, fingers gliding over the smooth skin and sending their own bolts of electricity through her body as he touched her. She groaned with pleasure beneath him, conscious thought now fully checked out as Harry moved. His hand slipped under her bra, cupping her bare breast for the first time. She nearly came then and there, throwing her head back and moaning wantonly.

"Harry… I'm…" She said, struggling to speak as he climax neared. "I'm…"

She needed to see him. She needed to look into his green eyes as she came undone for the very first time at the hands of someone other than herself.

His lips had returned to her neck and were now on a clear path down her chest, but she tugged him back up. Just before she locked eyes with him, his hardness brushed against the stiff bundle of nerves between her legs and she moaned louder than she ever had before, throwing her head back and swirling her hips to repeat the feeling. She was nearly there now, seconds from screaming her release when she finally did meet his gaze.

And she did scream, but not with pleasure.

She jumped back from him on the couch as the sound tore from her chest, one arm instinctively covering her chest and the other tugging her skirt down.

Harry had jumped back at the sound as well, confusion washing over his features.

Instead of the emerald jewels she'd known so well, she was staring into two blood red eyes.

"What is it, Hermione?" He asked her, his expression now one of concern.

It took her a moment to speak, the shock having snapped the lustful spell they'd been under.

"Y-your eyes."

He looked confused for a moment, then his red orbs widened as understanding washed over him.

Sighing heavily, he rose from the couch, deliberately retreating to help her calm down.

"Sorry." He said, so low she barely heard him. He looked away from her for a moment, and when he met her gaze again his eyes were green once more.

Hermione was still breathing hard, but she'd begun to settle. After a long, tense moment, she began straightening herself, pulling her bra back down and refastening the buttons to her blouse. Harry, ever the gentlemen, looked away as she did so. She stood, smoothing her skirt back down. She didn't meet his eyes again until she was as fully dressed as she'd been when she'd entered the room. Even then, there was a wariness there that cut him deeply.

The silence stretched on for some time.

"I'm…" They both began at the same time. Both smiled at that, some of the tension breaking. But not much.

"Forgive me, Hermione." Harry finally said. He sat down in one of the squashy chairs, resting his elbows on his knees and placing his head in his hands. Another heavy sigh passed from him before he lifted his head, his gaze towards the fireplace but his eyes unfocused. Hermione's heart constricted in her chest.

He looked so defeated.

"I…" She started, but he cut her off.

"This was a mistake." He told her. She couldn't help the stab of hurt that coursed through her at his words. "I thought…" He said, voice dropping. "I thought I could… I thought I could stay in control. Maybe even be normal again for a while. But look what I've done. I've been here for just a few hours and you're already terrified of me, not to mention we nearly went way to far." He said, raking his fingers through his hair. His temper was rising, but it seemed to be directed towards himself more than anything. Hermione could see flecks of red flashing in his eyes.

"I wasn't afraid, exactly." She said quickly, reaching towards him despite the distance between them. "Just… well… surprised?"

Harry smiled weakly but didn't turn to her.

Hermione stood there for a long moment, arms folded and gripping her middle, trying to keep from falling apart all over again. Her mind had already been churning, trying to comprehend what had happened the moment she'd seen his red eyes. That had confirmed that what had happened in Oxford had in fact not been some kind of hallucination from hitting her head. She'd been sure he'd been there, and of their conversation… but what she'd seen and heard him do…

Steeling herself, Hermione made a decision that would change her life. In truth, it was a decision she'd made weeks ago as she lay alone in her bed in Oxford after he'd saved her life. Maybe she'd even made it before that, in the Department of Mysteries where all they'd had was each other, or when she'd been praying for him to survive that horrible tournament, or when she'd climbed onto the back of a hippogriff to help him save an innocent life. Or any of a hundred other times she'd followed him into danger without a second thought.

She decided that no matter what he'd become, what he'd done, he was still her Harry.

And she would never lose him again. Not ever. Come what may.

"You don't have to be sorry Harry." She said, moving closer to him and taking his hand. "I… I saw your eyes before. I just thought it had been some kind of hallucination from hitting my head on the pavement or from the cruciatus."

Harry nodded, still not meeting her gaze. His hand squeezed hers though.

"And I wasn't scared." She told him. "I was just… startled. That's all." She reached out to him, cupping his cheek and forcing him to face her. "I'm not going anywhere. I told you how I feel that day in Oxford. That hasn't changed, Harry. Not a bit."

His face was suddenly a mask of despair.

"You don't know what I've done, Hermione. What I still have to do." He told her earnestly. "There is so much blood on my hands…"

He looked down at his them as he spoke, almost as if he could still feel it dripping from his fingers.

"I know." She said. "I've seen it."

"You haven't seen anything, Hermione." He told her, his tone suddenly harsh.

"I've seen enough. And I'm not running away." She told him. "I love you, you prat. I think I've always loved you. Ever since you threw yourself onto that troll in first year. I was ready and willing to give myself to you tonight. Body, mind, and soul. You have to understand what that means to me Harry."

"I do. But you don't kn…"

"I'm not a fool, Harry." She told him, her own voice growing stern. "I searched for you for weeks, even after you saved me. I've been all over this country looking for you thanks to the Knight Bus and I've heard the stories. I know that Death Eaters have been showing up butchered all over Britain, and that there is a rumor that some kind of demon with red eyes has been the one doing it. I take it you have something to do with that?"

He looked at her. His eyes were not angry, but hard all the same. His voice held a sudden and surprising coldness when he spoke.

"I have everything to do with that, Hermione."

"I…" She began, trying to organize her thoughts. Despite her earlier conviction, now that she was presented with the truth, at least a portion of it, she found herself wavering. If only for a moment.

"I have to end it, Hermione." He told her. Harry had leaned towards her a bit, his voice low and intense. "I will never let anyone hurt you. Not ever again."

There was more he wanted to say, she could tell. The depth of emotion behind his green eyes betrayed that fact, but he couldn't seem to find the words.

"Tell me what happened to you, Harry." She whispered. "Please."

"I can't." He said, casting his eyes down.

Anger flared in her.

"You told me you would tell me everything." She said, eyes narrowing.

"I want to, Hermione!" Harry roared, rising from his seat in an explosion of sudden movement that made her flinch and pull back from him. He stalked over to the fireplace, his body tense.

His sudden shift in temperament had shocked her, but all Hermione seemed to really process was that he was moving away from her. Leaving her.

She went over to him, her own anger ebbing at the frustration she saw in him.

"Why can't you tell me, Harry?" She asked him, placing a hand on his shoulder. He flinched a bit at the contact, but didn't move away. Taking this as a positive sign, Hermione reached out and turned his face to her, taking it in both hands and making sure their eyes met before she spoke. "I meant what I said, Harry. I love you, and I'm here." She told him earnestly, hoping her words would finally reach him this time.

Harry looked so torn in that moment. The light from the fire cast a patchwork of shadows and flickering orange on him. He closed his eyes, brows knit together in frustration, but he leaned into her touch. He stepped closer to her, and she moved to him. The distance between them was almost nothing now. They could both feel each other's warmth and smell each other's scent.

He tried. He tried so hard not to lose control again, but before he could stop himself the words were spilling from his mouth.

"Gods, Hermione. I love you too, even though I've tried so hard not to. I love you with everything I am. I can't be without you. You're everything."

Hermione gently, so as not to make him pull away from her, brought his face down to hers. When their lips met, she felt her body singing once more. It was the first time he'd said it aloud, and it was about time if you asked her. Her hands threaded up into his dark hair, holding him to her.

The kiss seemed to go on forever, neither letting go until the sheer need for oxygen demanded them too. It wasn't as needy as the ones they'd shared so far, but the depth of emotion it awoke in her left her shaking. When he did finally break the kiss, Harry didn't pull back, instead resting his forehead on hers as they both gasped for air. His arms had encircled her again, holding her to him.

Hermione knew, without any doubt, that this was where she belonged in the world. In his arms. It was like she'd been adrift, lost at sea alone. But now he was here, an anchor for her to hold onto her. The fixed point in the storm. She was bound to him now, and he to her.

They stood there, holding onto each other for dear life as any sense of time melted away.

"I will tell you everything Hermione." He said eventually. "But that knowledge will put you in danger. Even more so than just being here with me already has. I have to make sure you're safe first."

"Occlumency?" She asked, running her fingers through his dark hair. Harry hummed in satisfaction at the gesture.

"Yes." He said softly. "I'm not ready for Dumbledore or anyone else to know everything, but you deserve the truth."

"Thank you, Harry." She said softly. "I'm glad that you trust me."

"I always have. But Hermione," He began, pulling back from her some, "I need to be sure. You know what I've done." He said, eyes burning into her. "That I've killed people. And I'm going to kill more. I won't stop until ever last one of them is dead. There is no other option. I think you'll understand that better once I can tell you everything, but believe me, there is not. I can't stop what I've set in motion. I won't. I will drown myself in blood if it means you're safe."

Hermione listened to him intently, taking in every word.

"I want to be with you, Hermione. But I'd understand if…" He said, trailing off. His voice was suddenly so unsure, despite the conviction it held only a moment ago. "If you don't want to b…"

She'd done the same thing to him that he'd done to her earlier, silencing him with a gentle, sweet kiss.

"I've made my choice Harry. I'm yours. Come what may."

His arms tightened around her, crushing her to him.

He may be her anchor, but to him, she was his light, shining down into the depths from above. The hope he hadn't dared allow himself to feel.

She was the sun.

The rest of the night, or early morning, depending on how you looked at it, passed too quickly for her. They'd returned to the couch, where Harry had given her a small satchel. It was made of dark leather, and only just big enough to fit her fist into, but it turned out to have an extension charm on it. Among the items within were the books he needed her to read to start her training.

"One month. Maybe two at the most, and then I can tell you everything you want to know." He'd told her gently. He'd also placed a band on her wrist made of a similar dark brown leather. "For protection." He'd said, but hadn't elaborated further. She'd been curious, but having made her choice to be with him, she decided to trust him.

They'd spent some time simply holding each other, exchanging light touches, and capturing each other's lips over and over. They went no farther than that, but neither seemed to mind. Hermione might've wanted more, but she was simply too tired now. As it was, she was already fighting to keep from nodding off when he wasn't touching her or talking to her. Not long after presenting her with her gifts he'd pulled her up from the cushions, seeing her exhaustion and declaring it was time for bed.

He walked her back to the common room, hand in hand. Neither spoke a word, lost in their own thoughts.

When they reached the stairs to her dorm, Hermione climbed two steps and turned back to face him, eyes shining with emotion. They were at eye level now.

"Tell me one more time?" She asked him softly.

"I love you, Hermione." He whispered before pulling her into one last long, sweet kiss.

He watched her go, not letting go of her hand until he absolutely had to.

Then she was up the stairs, and he was left alone in the darkness of the common room.

A/N- Well there we are. I hope everyone enjoyed the chapter and their reunion. I had no idea it had been a year since I last updated this story. Literally one year. I've had a lot of personal things going on this past year, which left little time and even less inspiration. Still, I apologize for the delay, but- I'M WRITING AGAIN! Yes, this includes Noctis Umbra too. I hope to have the next chapter of that up in a week or so. I meant to have it done first but I had a random bit of inspiration for their reunion scene and I kind of never stopped writing.

Next time- fear and desire.