So, music has always been a source of inspiration, so when I heard this song, it immediately made me think of Barson... check it out if you want: Anywhere by JP Saxe... also, I feel like I should let you know that I have a love/hate relationship with the character, Elliot. I can certainly appreciate all that he and Liv have been through, however, since his departure and Liv's growth and the debacle that was his return (not to mention how the writers ruined Barson to prop EO), I don't know how to feel about him...so if he comes across as flip-floppy in this fic, that is entirely my brain at work, lol...anyway, an update! Thanks you so much to those that have left replies/reviews!

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Chapter 32

The minute Rafael steps off the elevator onto the paediatrics floor, he can hear Amanda arguing and as he turns the corner, there are several nurses and a security guard attempting to remove Elliot Stabler from Noah's room.

Amanda's gaze finds his and he can tell that she's seconds away from loosing her cool completely.

"Sir, you need to leave," the security guard attempts to reason.

Elliot shakes his head. "I'm not leaving until I speak with a doctor!"

"You're not next of kin or his guardian, Detective Stabler," a nurse interjects. "We cannot provide you with that information without consent-"

"-then who's consent do I need!" He barks. "Cause his mother is currently in the OR and last I checked, I was her next of kin!"

"You need mine," Rafael answers, approaching the room.

Elliot's gaze falls on him. "You again."

"Papa!" Noah screams from inside the room.

Rafael side steps the security guard, Amanda and Elliot into the room. Noah is huddled in the corner, pure fear in his blue eyes as a nurse attempts to cajole him back into bed.

Elliot enters the room behind him. "Noah, it's alright…I'm a friend of your Mom-"

"-don't speak to my son," Rafael warns. "Get the hell out of this room. Now."

Elliot's blue eyes blaze and he squares his shoulders. "You his father?"

"I am-"

"-then why the hell did you let him get kidnapped in the first place, huh?"

Rollin's is there, attempting to get between them only he holds out his arm, stopping her. "I'm not going to repeat myself, Detective Stabler."

They hold each others gaze and while Elliot attempts to use his height and size to intimidate him, Rafael holds his ground.

The security guard grabs Elliot by the arm and he yanks his arm free, leaving the immediately turns to Noah who has tucked his legs to his chest, his face buried in his knees as the sobs rack his tiny body. The nurse is preparing another sedative and he stops her. "…just let me talk to him. Can you give me the room, please?"

The nurse nods, and Amanda closes the door behind them.

"Mijo," he begins softly. As he approaches, he smells the urine on the floor around him and he grabs the blanket off the bed, kneeling to his level. "…it's just you and me."

Noah's head slowly lifts from his knees, his blue eyes scanning the room.

"Just us," he reassures softly. "Come here, mijo."

Noah's gaze slides to his and it takes a minute for the recognition to fill his eyes. "Papa."

Rafael nods. "I'm right here, Noah."

The little boy unfurls from his crouch and tears fill his eyes. "…I didn't mean to wet myself…he scared me and…"

Rafael reaches for him, wrapping him in the blanket. "It's alright…you did nothing wrong. Let's get you cleaned up, ok?" He lifts him into his arms, heading for the bathroom. He closes the door behind them, turning on the shower, letting the steam fill the tiny room.

Noah's head falls on his shoulder, and he hums softly, looking through the duffel bag that Lucy had dropped off.

There's the lavender soap Liv likes to use at bedtime and shampoo, the dinosaur pyjamas he had bought, socks, underwear and Eddie.

When the water is warm enough, he sets Noah down. "Ok, sweet boy…let's get you into the shower."

Noah helps him remove the hospital gown and as he steps into the shower, it's then that Rafael see's the bruising on his arms and back. The anger that overcomes him causes his stomach to churn, his heart to crack inside of his chest.

Noah turns to face him and it takes everything in him to rearrange his features, soften his gaze, steady his voice.

. . . . . . . . . . . .

Carisi immediately notices the look on Amanda's face, the slight sheen in her blues eyes as she makes her way down the hall towards he and Fin. Getting to his feet, he seeks her gaze. "You ok?"

Amanda shakes her head, exhaling. "I'm fine….I just….had a bit of a run in with Stabler.""What happened?" Fin questions.

She recounts the encounter. "Rafael stepped in, got him to finally leave."

Fin is out of his seat and Don grabs his arm. "Let it go, Fin-"

"-Nah, not this time."

Fin heads down the hallway, Don following close behind.

. . . . . . . . . . . .

"Papa?"

"Yes, mijo?"

Noah holds on to his shoulders as he steps into his pyjama bottoms. "…I heard gunshots….is momma dead?"

His gaze snaps to Noah's. "No!…Noah…" He helps him into his pyjama top. "Your momma….she was hurt and the doctors need some time to make her better." Tears have welled in Noah's eyes and he envelops him in his arms. "I'm so sorry for not telling you sooner, mijo…you must have been so worried!"

Noah's head falls on his shoulder as he wraps his arms around his neck. "….was she there?"

"At the house?" He clarifies.

Noah nods.

Rafael lifts him into his arms carrying him out of the bathroom. He settles on the bed. "She was. She worked with all of the NYPD to find you, Noah. She was there, she came for you."

"I want my Momma."

Rafael rubs his back, reclining on to the bed. "I know you do, mijo….the minute the doctors are done making her better, I'll take you to see her."

"Promise?"

"I promise." He settles further into the bed, bring the blanket up around Noah. "…close your eyes, sweet boy.

I've got you."It doesn't take long for his breathing to even out, for his arms to loosen around his neck. Rafael doesn't move him from his chest. His phone is in his pocket and he sends a quick text to Amanda.

Are you alright?

Her response is immediate.

Yeah….He just came out of nowhere demanding that he see Noah and I couldn't reason with him…

You did what you could and I'm grateful. Thank you. He texts back.

Well, Fin wants Stabler's head on a platter, so don't be surprised if you hear sirens.

He curses mentally, typing out a response. Confronting him isn't going to change anything.

It's a minute before she texts back. Maybe not….but it would make me feel better.

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"Stabler!"

Elliot turns and as Fin steps into his space, Don hurries to get between the two of them.

"You step to Barba like that again and I swear I'll drop you right here-"

"-you threatening me?"

Fin shakes his heads. "It's not a threat, Stabler; it's a promise."

Elliot takes a step forward and Don does his best to push him back. "Both of you need to calm down!"

"Respectfully, Cragen, stay out of this," Fin warns.

Don turns to face Fin. "I get it, believe me," he begins. "You've been the one that's been there, that's stayed and has always had Liv's back. I get it."

Fin deflates, pacing the hallway.

Don turns to Elliot. "Where do you get off waltzing back here after nearly a decade?"

The colour drains from Elliot's face as his eyes flicker.

"You have some damn nerve, Elliot. Go home."Elliot's jaw jumps several times before he turns to leave. He stops short of the door, turning. "Will you keep me

in the loop?"

"No," Don answers flatly. "You need to make amends with Olivia first, Elliot; you no longer have that privilege."

He nods, blowing the door open as he leaves.

Don turns towards Fin again. "Never thought Barba would grow on you."

Fin shakes his head, laughing a little. "He's a good dude and he makes Liv happy. That's all I need to know."

Don nods. "Me too."

. . . . . . . . . . . .

Amanda's head tips to rest on his shoulder, and Carisi twines his fingers with hers.

"…I don't hear any sirens, so I guess Fin didn't decapitate Stabler," she jokes softly.

Carisi laughs. "I guess that's a good thing." Silence settles between them and he lets his thumb sweep back and forth against the back of her hand. "….did Fin tell you what happened in that house?"

She shakes her head. "No. You?"

"No….do you think Liv killed her?"

"Would you blame her if she did?"

Carisi exhales. "….we shoulda been there, Amanda-"

"-we're here now. Don't play the 'what if' game."

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There's a gentle knock at the door and Rafael stirs just as Don waves from the window. He gestures him in.

"How're you both doing?" Don questions softly.

Rafael rubs his eyes, rubbing Noah's back. "We'll both be better once Liv's out of surgery."

Don nods. "…I think we all will be.""Thank you, for being here."

"Of course….feel free to reach out; Eileen and I would love to have you all over for dinner."

He can't remember the last time he had seen Don, and regret fills him for not making more of an effort to stay in touch. "That would be great, Don."

"Call, if you need anything."

Rafael nods.

"Before I go; I left directives for the doctor to give any and all updates to you…I don't think there's anyone here that doubts your judgement when it comes to Liv, counsellor."

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"Incoming." Carisi nods towards Dodds who's making his way down the hallway towards them.

Fin stands, intercepting him. "Chief."

Dodds exhales, giving them all a nod. "How's she doing?"

"Still in surgery," Fin answers.

"And her son?"

"Nothing that won't heal, but not in good shape right now either. Barba's with him."

Dodds shakes his head, rubbing his jaw. "She wasn't even supposed to be there. What the hell happened in that house?"

Fin can feel Rollins and Carisi's gaze on him. "Porter agreed to speak with Liv-"

"-who isn't a negotiator," he points out. "Did she have on a vest?"

Fin shakes his head.

"Mistake number 2. Go on."

"She went inside, I covered her from the back and before you ask, no, I didn't have on a vest either. We had to move fast-"

"-if there was such urgency for Noah's safety then you should have waited for ESU. Why enter that house and risk not only your lives, but his?" Fin doesn't have an answer for that and Dodds knows it. "You were reckless, Detective and damn lucky no one else was hurt, or worse."

Fin takes the reprimand.

"Who shot Sheila Porter?" Dodds questions.

"I did."

Dodds waits for him to elaborate.

"…I entered the back of the house, making my way to the living area where I found Shelia pointing a gun a Liv. Before either of us could talk her down, she fired her weapon, and I fired two shots to her back. I secured her weapon and attended to Liv until paramedics arrived on the scene."

Dodds holds his gaze. "And the autopsy will back that?"

"It will."

"1PP is chomping at the bit to get in here and question you and I know you were advised to take the 24 hours and I'm not going to argue you on that." Dodds looks between all of them. "This entire investigation better have gone by the book because if it hasn't, there's nothing I can do; it'll be her job and mine."

"We hear you loud and clear, Chief," Fin answers.

"I'm glad you do." He's silent for a minute before continuing. "You all look like you've been through the ringer."

Amanda manages to laugh.

"Liv would understand if you went home, got some rest, but if I know this squad as well as I think I do, you're here for the long haul."

"Copy that Chief," Carisi answers.

He nods. "I'll have some coffee sent over….let me know when she's out of surgery." Before he leaves, he turns to Fin again. "I'm assuming your acting CO?"

"You'd be right about that, Chief."

"Good."

tbc