Author's Note:

Apparently FFN is no longer sending out emails. I won't be updating the next month, so i don't know if the issue will be resolved before then, but you can follow my story on AO3 stories and my penname are all under the same names there and the writing is a little more polished , because that is the only place where i bother to do spelling corrections for anything that slipped under my radar before posting.

Summer's in full swing now that Zuko has returned to Caldera, not that the heat ever truly leaves here. He feels the damp heat swelter on his skin, feels his hair turn slick as sweat builds up in his poor excuse of a topknot. It doesn't bother him. He enjoys the warmth while the water soothes him. With a smile he recounts Ty Lee saying she found the heat oppressing. Zuko had replied that he didn't understand. Even now he would trade the world for this. Over the dry deserts and cold rain of the Earth Kingdom, to say nothing of the endless white at the edges of the world that defied all sense.

He had.

A light rustle disrupts the silence around the turtleduck pond. It's more instinct than caution that makes Zuko look up from his reflection. While the habit saved his life before, the frequent breaks in concentration it was causing as of late has been getting on Zuko's nerves lately. His annoyance quickly dissipates, however, when he recognizes the offending party, sniffing a hortensia bush near the entrance of the otherwise hedged off part of the garden.

"Ty Lee?" he asks, standing up and waving across the pond at a familiar looking brunette with a rolled up futon slung across her back.

Immediately, her head turns to him and quickly a flash of recognition comes across her eyes and a small smile follows not soon after.

"Oh hey Zuko." She replies, waving back and leisurely skidding over.

"What brings you here?" He asks once they meet in the middle.

"Oh I was looking for a place to practice my yoga." She says, padding her futon.

"Yoga?" He asks.

"Yeah, it's like stretching, which really helps with my flexibility. I picked it up from this native girl that travelled with the circus for a while."

"Oh okay, but if you're doing warm-ups why wouldn't you go to the training grounds?

"Well" she replies, before scrunching her face, "those grounds are good for sparring and the like, but Yoga is more meditative and that place isn't exactly spiritual."

"Fair enough," he says, though something about that statement bothers him. Then he looks back to the pond. "I don't know if I'd call the gardens spiritual either though."

"Maybe not like the temple's," Ty Lee says, crouching down closer to the pond, "but the aura here flows a lot smoother than most places. It helps settle my aura you know, releases my negative energy."

"I guess." Zuko says, trying not to think about how much that last bit sounded like uncle. "So you're looking for a spot that helps calm you down?"

"Exactly, since, well, candles don't exactly do it for me. I like the scented ones though," she adds, holding her hands up, "don't get me wrong."

Zuko tilts his head towards the rolled up mat she has slung around her neck. "So is the futon part of that too?"

"Yes." she confirms, padding the item, "Samira said creating your own space is an important part of the ritual, though keeping my face off of the floor is nice too."

"Samira? Is that the girl you learned Yoga from?" he inquires.

"Yeah," she answers. Then blinking, a little too long to be natural, "must not have mentioned her name before, have i?"

"No." Zuko replies. "Were you um, close with that girl?"

"Oh yeah!" Ty Lee answers, though it's with a smile that doesn't quite reach her eyes. "We bonded a lot. She could see auras too, it was kind of incredible actually."

"Oh, that's nice." Zuko says, pausing. "You two still keep in touch?"

"No, sadly, I couldn't keep in touch. She had to return to her family, only a month or two before i left actually. She never told me where to. I think it had something to do with the war."

"Well don't won't happen anymore." he assures, "Soon the war will be over"

"I sure hope so."

It is odd finally being home, unexpectedly so. Zuko still feels like he's between skins, on a deeper level than the way he hasn't quite gotten back his old form yet. It doesn't feel real. It must be because he hasn't seen Father yet. Zuko knows it's childish for him to harken back to fantasies of being welcomed back with open arms by him. He should feel more elated really. For all intents and purposes his return has exceeded even his wildest dreams, the crowds cheer and adore him and even the courtiers respect his presence, praise his legendary accomplishments. One even commended his triumph over such impossible odds, or would have been for anyone but one of Sozin's line, of course. He has gotten a hero's welcome.

But he doesn't feel like one.

"Your bending looks different."

Zuko had noticed Ty Lee walk in earlier and though he was a bit surprised to see her enter the fire bending practice grounds without Azula.

He finishes drinking and lowers his canteen to look her in the eye. "What do you mean?" He asks.

"Nothing." Ty Lee answers, too fast. "Those just didn't look like the standard forms."

Zuko stands up, dusting himself off. "I've been trying something new." He says, trying for nonchalant.

"Did you~" She trails off, doing that thing where she scrunches her face again, "pick it up in Earth Kingdom?"

Zuko bristles. "So what if I did?"

Ty Lee sighs and looks away. "It reminded me of the circus, you know. I like it." She says, tilting her head just so as adds that last part.

"Are you calling my bending a circus act?" Zuko accuses, though he can't help but let a small smile shine through at the compliment.

"I meant your bending just now was a lot more expressive than most. Everybody is usually all so sharp ," she says,"but you don't have to treat every word i say like there's some hidden jab." Jabbing her finger at him for emphasis."

"Can you blame me in a place like this?" Zuko counters, before stilling. He hadn't meant to say that last part. Ty Lee should berate him for this, how could he be so ungrateful, hypocritical too. Considering–

"I guess so" Ty Lee says.

Huh?

"Tell ya what," Ty Lee says, flicking his nose with the finger that had still lingered on his chest, "how about we both just tell each other the truth."

"Okay," Zuko answers, blinking, "that sounds nice."

Ty Lee clasps his hands. "It's a deal." she states, grinning.

There's a beat.

"So," Zuko starts, his mind racing in an inexplicable urge to fill the silence, "what are you doing here?"

"Gee, way to make a girl feel welcome, Zuko."

"I didn't–"

"I'm kidding," Ty Lee laughs, before explaining herself, "i'll be training with Mai and Azula soon and i had some time to kill, so i decided to come in early."

"Oh, I didn't mean to take away from your training."

"It's fine Zuko, i like talking to you."

"Thanks." he says, because it's the only thing he can think to say. Until he sees what's behind her. "Uhm, looks like my sister is waiting for you."

Ty Lee turns around at that and there Lala is, hand over hips, staring back at them. Looking about ready to spring into action. Mai is a few trượng to her left, ignoring them and practicing her knifework.

Zuko ducks his head to Ty Lee. "Guess I'll take my leave then."

"Wait," she says, clasping his arm, "you should join us, we could use some variety. Azula only does things like how they do it in the scrolls and Mai doesn't seem to care enough not to go along."

"Maybe some other time." He says while putting his shirt on and returning his canteen to his bag before walking off.

Only because he is tired, of course.

Father summons him to the throne room. It is as enveloped by fire as Zuko remembers. This time he and father are alone. Like the last time he faced his father, he kow-tows. He does not recall the lick of flames. Father sees him and he is right, the weight of his travels has changed him, though Zuko doubts it has made him more worthy. Father praises him, tells him everything he dreamed of hearing, but it's not true. When Zuko is dismissed he wonders: what would Father see in him if he knew the truth? What would he do?

And why is there something else nagging at him?

Looking around, Zuko takes a breath. They're on the top of the volcano, overlooking the palace and the city. He'd asked her if they could talk, privately, and they both wanted to get out of the palace for a bit. He breathes out, steadying himself. They won't have much time, it's already sunset.

"You know how you ran away because this place didn't feel like home anymore?" Zuko asks, his voice not quite a whisper.

"I don't know Zuko," Ty Lee replies, quickly turning panicked, "i've just been here for a little while. I'm sure–"

"Because I don't feel like this home either, not anymore." Zuko finishes, cutting her off.

There's a silence. For once Ty Lee's the one who doesn't have anything to say, So he takes a page out of her playbook and keeps talking.

"I spoke with uncle, or spoke to him really," Zuko grimaces." yelled at him too. He won't talk to me and, given that he's rotting in a cell , I don't blame him."

"You two were close, weren't you?"

"He stood by me for years . I was just a cowardly little child when he dropped everything and went off with me. I wouldn't be the man I am today without him." "I'm not sure i'd be here at all." he adds in a smaller voice.

"You said you didn't blame him." she says, sitting herself upright.

"Yes?"

"Zuko," Ty Lee starts, placing her palm on his knee. Zuko tries to not let it distract him. "Do you think, sometimes, that The War is wrong?"

Zuko has never been good at reading people and he sure as hell can't sense their auras, which seemingly tell so many secrets to her, like Ty Lee does, but now, when he looks at her, stares into her eyes, big, grey and round, he sees.

" Ty Lee~ "

"Because i do Zuko." she confesses, her voice breaking, "I do all the time, and i'm tired of pretending i don't. I hate what it does to people, it makes me sick." she snivels as she finishes her point. Quickly wiping away the snot. Her cheeks are wet with tears too as she croaks: "I hate what it does to the word too."

She's a mess, it's the most beautiful sight he's ever laid his eyes on.

Because he knows, knew for a long time really. He has just always been too much of a coward to face the truth.

With one hand he clasps hers, the one still one his knee. She turns him at his touch.

"I think so too, Ty Lee." he finally admits. He spots a fresh tear trailing her cheek, without thinking, he caresses that side of her face and wipes away the droplet with a stroke of his thumb. (Like Mother used to do for him, when he was a child.)

Ty Lee slams into him at that. Grabbing a hold of him like he's her lifeline and starts sobbing in earnest. Zuko finds himself at a loss. The last person to cry in his presence had been uncle, when he confessed to Zuko he saw him as his own and then Zuko put a knife in his back .

He tries what he did then anyways and gently pats her back, as he desperately tries to think of some comforting things to say. It feels so wrong. She'd always been the brightest of them, but then, he knew no one could be that happy all the time. He curses himself as no kind words come to mind.

Wondrously, however, his mere silence is enough and her sobbing stops.

"Your face is all wet," she mumbles, a sad smile on her face.

Zuko touches face, it's true.

"Here let me, "she offers, grabbing a handkerchief and wiping away his tears, before doing the same with her own.

"Sorry about that," she says, "this stuff just really gets to me."

"I understand," Zuko replies, "They taught us the war as a march of civilization, but–"

"I hate that bull-horse crap-shit! Ty Lee cuts in, "I don't see why we need to fight those people to share our wealth with them. We got along just fine in the circus, mainlander, colonial and native alike.

"The Earth Kingdom, their government was barbaric, "Zuko wagers, "the things the Dai Li were doing, but...

"The Dai Li joined us ." Ty Lee finished for him.

"Exactly!" Zuko shouts, "What does this war say about us, when we let the worst of what we claim to fight join us. What are we even fighting against?"

"Nothing worth killing over." Ty Lee grumbles, before springing up and clasping his hands," Then we won't join in on it anymore. We'll be better from now on, promise?

Zuko laughs. The way she says it, it all seems so simple. "Yes." he promises.

They bask a bit after that, after they let the full extent of their latest pact soak in, but it's not long before Zuko gets up. The sun is almost gone after all and it wouldn't do to keep a girl too long into the night.

Ty Lee quickly follows after him, though she lets a shiver escape as she does. Zuko makes sure to grab her hand at that, so he can share his warmth.

Worryingly, however, their entire descent, Ty Lee's shivers never quite stop.

When Zuko goes to sleep, it strikes him he still doesn't know if the Avatar is actually dead.

He lets it be.