Yumiko wasn't sure how many minutes passed - or if even hours did - with the two of them just lying there like that, not speaking, just. . . being.

Being with one another.

Twice she nearly drifted off, only for the gentle trail of Magna's fingers along her arm to draw her back, root her in the waking world. Yumiko suspected she meant the touch to be soothing, might even be trying to coax her into sleep - but it had the opposite effect.

How could she sleep when Magna was right here? When she could feel their bodies pressed against one another, the tickle of her hair? All these things she'd been without for so long. How could she sleep and slip away from them again?

(and risk never finding them upon waking)

Yumiko couldn't.

So she didn't.

Instead, she lingered in the comfort and familiarity of Magna's arms, soaking up her warmth, allowing it to hold her on the cusp of sleep - but never letting it push her over the edge.

She could stay like this for hours. She could stay like this until the sun came up and then disappeared behind the horizon once more. She could stay like this for as long the universe allowed.

Gazing into Magna's eyes.

As focused as Yumiko was on her face, it was easy to detect when the mood started to shift. When some of the peacefulness of the moment began to fade, tension sweeping in to take its place.

The silence continued, as did the gentle strokes against her skin, but she could see the thoughts churning in Magna's head. Taking root. She knew if she didn't say anything, then Magna likely wouldn't either. That she would keep those thoughts to herself, as long as she could to delay the destruction of this moment.

But the moment was already ruined.

Yumiko caught the hand on her arm, stilling its motion.

Magna's brow furrowed. "Miko. . .?"

"Those things that you need to say? I think you should say them now." She gave her hand a gentle squeeze, softening the words with a smile.

Magna didn't look especially pleased by the suggestion. "It can wait."

"I'm sure it can. Doesn't mean it should." She tilted her head. "I can tell those things are on your mind right now. And they'll probably continue to be on your mind for as long as we don't talk about them. Wouldn't you rather just get it out of the way?"

"Honestly, I'd rather just stay here holding you like this and never get into an argument again - but I see your point."

Yumiko raised a brow. "You think it's going to be an argument?"

She shrugged. "I don't know. Could be. Would probably rather not find out."

Not unsurprising.

Magna could be incredibly fickle when it came to confrontation. Sometimes she shied from it, running, hiding, doing anything and everything she possibly could to avoid its approach. Other times she actively sought it out, even going so far as to create conflict where there wasn't any.

It made sense, in a way, given that Magna seemed forever caught between her fight and flight instinct, oscillating back and forth between the two like some chaotic metronome. She had both an avoidant and combative personality that made her unpredictable at the best of times, and liable to give whiplash at the worst.

She never knew which version of Magna she was going to get. Though right now it seemed to be the former.

Yumiko, for her part, generally liked to tackle confrontations head-on. Except for these last few months. These last few months, she'd found herself subscribing to Magna's flair for avoidance. Dodging.

As a result, she could more than relate to her desire to do so now.

Yumiko wondered whether whatever she needed to speak about had to do with the Commonwealth. That very well could devolve into an argument. A scenario that definitely sounded less than tempting right about now. Still. . .

"Well, once we get the argument out of the way we never have to have it again."

Hopefully.

Magna hesitated.

And Yumiko immediately guessed the cause. The reason for her reluctance. Felt a swell of regret inside her before she quickly quashed it. "I'm not going to kick you out of your own home, Magna."

"I mean, you did kick me out of my own room so. . ."

But she was smirking a little.

Yumiko rolled her eyes, looking away. "Yeah, well, you deserved it."

"I did." Magna was grinning now, some of that nervous edge fading from her features. "I really did."

"So is this of that same caliber?" Despite the lightness of Yumiko's tone, she couldn't help the fist that gripped her chest, the squeeze of trepidation.

Magna shook her head. "No. No, it's nothing like that. And it's not your reaction I'm worried about. . . it's mine."

Ah.

So this was something that Magna was angry about. Something that she'd been stewing over. And she was worried that she wouldn't be able to keep that anger in check.

So most likely the Commonwealth then.

Yumiko squeezed her hand. "You know, we've had arguments before. Too many to count, actually. We got through them. A lot of the time got to better places because of them. They don't all have to be like that night. That was. . ."

"More than an argument," Magna finished, a little darkly. "I know. I'd still rather not argue with you right now. Ruin this."

You and me both.

"Then we'll try not to argue." Yumiko threaded their fingers together. "But even if we did, this wouldn't be ruined. Couldn't be. You're here. I'm here. We're here. And as long as that holds true, it can't be ruined."

Magna smiled faintly. "Okay."

It was probably going to take time until they both felt secure enough in their relationship again not to fear the next fight. Every little introduction of conflict. Not to worry that it wouldn't obliterate what they'd managed to rebuild, shatter the foundation under their feet.

Break them.

It was going to take time. But Yumiko knew they would get there eventually. Bit by bit. Starting now.

Magna's smile had faded, the tension building in her eyes once more.

Yumiko waited.

"I want to talk about the night those sickos breached the walls of Hilltop."

Oh.

Not the Commonwealth at all.

She shouldn't have felt nearly so blindsided. Really, she should have seen this coming. Of course Magna wanted to talk about that night. The night that had been the first nail in the coffin of their relationship.

And they did need to talk about it.

Yumiko could remember the bottled anger in Magna's eyes as she'd sat on those steps, the barely veiled hurt. How thick the resentment in her voice had been. How caustic.

Yes. They needed to talk about that.

Though, Yumiko could admit to not being entirely eager to.

Didn't matter. Magna had listened to her own airing of grievances, it was not only fair but necessary that she afford her that same privilege.

Now resolved, Yumiko waited. Waited for the conversation to continue. For the words to flow.

But Magna said nothing more. Mouth pressed together in a thin line. Like perhaps she was also waiting. For something.

Yumiko released a breath, understanding what that something might be.

An apology. She was waiting for an apology. Wouldn't ask for one. Or demand it. Her pride would never allow that. So it was on Yumiko to take that first step. Unfortunately, this wasn't something she had it in her to fully apologize for. That would mean admitting that she'd done the wrong thing. And she hadn't. Keeping them safe, keeping them alive, would never be the wrong thing. And she wouldn't insult Magna by presenting her with a false apology. A lie.

But still, there were some things she could have done better. Handled better.

"Look, I'm sorry about that night. I'm sorry I didn't listen to you." And she was. But she also didn't regret making them retreat. Falling back. Didn't regret ensuring that they'd live to fight another day. That Magna would. "You were right about me making decisions. Doing what I was going to do anyway. But wrong about us staying out there that night. Sure, maybe we could have taken those walkers. But at what cost? Someone could have gotten hurt. You could have gotten hurt. Or worse." Yumiko swallowed, then hardened her jaw. "That will never be an acceptable risk. Communities are replaceable. But not the people who make them."

You will never be replaceable.

No matter how expendable the Commonwealth deems you to be, you will never be replaceable. You never have been and you never will be.

Not to me.

Not to Connie, Kelly and Luke either.

Magna looked away. "I wasn't pissed about the walkers, Miko. I still think we could have taken them but. . . you're right. Not worth the risk. I see that now. . . I was pissed that you didn't listen to me. That it didn't seem to matter what I said. That it never seems to matter. You're always going to do what you're always going to do." That was a little bit like the pot calling the kettle black. "And. . ."

"And?"

"And I feel so stupid sometimes." The hand in Yumiko's clenched, turning into a fist. "When you do that. I feel like I'm that girl again, the one who fucked up her life, over and over - and who everyone knew would fuck up her life. Who's always going to make mistakes. Can't be trusted with anything." Their eyes connected - and Yumiko nearly flinched at the burn in Magna's. "But you trust me. You've always trusted me. And that's. . . terrifying. Because the only other person who trusted me like that was Maisie and I fucked that up."

"You didn't-"

"I did. And I fucked things up with you too. But. . ." She let out a breath, raking a hand through her hair. "I don't even know what I'm trying to say. Just that. . . you trusted me. And, yeah, terrifying but. . . also good. I don't feel like such a fuck up when you trust me. And keeping us safe, keeping you safe, fighting. . . those are things that I can do. That I'm good at. I know I can be impulsive and reckless and, yeah, hotheaded," Yumiko winced slightly. So she'd overheard that conversation with Michonne, "but I'm not stupid. I hate it when you treat me like I am. Like I'm someone who needs to be handled. Not safe to trust with anything."

She wasn't prepared for the force of those words, the way they felt like a blow to her chest.

Was that really what Magna thought?

The possibility hurt.

The possibility that Yumiko could have somehow, unintentionally, planted those thoughts in her head. So many times. And then cemented them that night.

Yumiko scrambled for a way to repair the damage, to explain herself.

"Magna. . . what happened with those walkers, that had nothing to do with trust. Or me thinking you're stupid and reckless." The last bit earned her a look that was entirely disbelieving. Which. . . okay. They'd definitely needed to have this conversation. "I'm serious. You just. . . you get tunnel vision sometimes. The sickos, the stash, Alexandria. . . you see what we need and go for it. You knew we needed Hilltop-"

"I knew you needed Hilltop." Magna gritted her teeth. "I didn't want you to lose another fucking place. Another home. For any of you guys to."

Yumiko nodded slowly, throat tightening at the confession. "And I didn't want to lose you. Or our friends. Or. . . anyone. That's what I care about. More than anything. So, no. I didn't listen to you. Because I knew you weren't thinking about the risks. The consequences. Only about what we needed. And that's not bad. That's who you are. But thinking about the consequences is who I am. All the little variables that might come into play. The potential fallouts. I weigh it all up and I choose the safest option. Is that controlling? Absolutely. Is it fair to you? Probably not. But it doesn't mean that I don't trust you. Or that I think you're a fuck up. It just means-"

"You don't trust anyone but yourself when it comes to making decisions."

Yumiko stopped, whatever she was about to say stilling in her throat because. . .

That was it, wasn't it?

When you boiled it all down to the bare essentials. That was it.

She tensed, eyes moving to meet Magna's, preparing herself for the accusation in them. The resentment. Just like last time.

But there was none to find.

Only a heavy weariness - and an odd element of amusement. Magna's mouth crooked up faintly. "Yeah. Think we have that in common."

"Oh, you do, do you?"

"Oh, yeah. This relationship is full of control freaks. We might actually have an overcrowding issue."

Yumiko snorted and Magna smiled a little at the sound, before it faded. Gravity taking up root in her gaze once more. "It's hard. When you haven't had control for so long. In so many different ways. So many different times. . . So you reach for it whenever you can. Fucking hold on tight. Too tight to let go." Magna's eyes searched hers, an understanding in them that hadn't been there before. "I'm still learning. Didn't realize you were too."

She swallowed, then nodded slowly. "And I didn't realize how it made you feel. All those times I couldn't let go. It's not. . ."

"Intentional. I know."

And Yumiko could see that she did.

That even if that knowledge hadn't existed before, it existed now.

And there was relief in that.

Yumiko sighed. "Honestly, most times I don't even realize I'm doing it."

Not until it was too late.

Magna nodded. "Yeah. Me too. Hindsight is a fucking bitch and all that."

Yumiko smiled a little wryly. "Always such a way with words. I forgot what an eloquent tongue you have."

"Hey, eloquent or not, it's served me well. And you I'd say it's served more than well."

Yumiko snorted. "Really? Because in my memory that tongue has nearly gotten you killed more times than I can count. Wouldn't exactly call that serving you well," she said, not deigning to acknowledge the second part.

"I'm alive, aren't I? Unlike, what, ninety percent of the population? Must have done something right."

"Pretty sure that something was meeting me."

Magna's eyes twinkled. "You know. . . you might be right."

She held her gaze for a moment, the darkness of her eyes drawing Yumiko in - God, she'd missed those eyes - before the lightness of the moment faded. She watched as Magna looked away. Cleared her throat. "I do understand why you took charge that night. Didn't before. But now I get it. I mean, I guess it's what I did with the stash, right? I knew you wouldn't go for it. So I didn't tell you. Just went and did it anyway. Because we needed it. And I couldn't. . ."

"I know."

Magna exhaled, then nodded, before her lips drew up in a weak attempt at humor. "So I guess this is something we've gotta work on, huh?"

"Guess it is."

"Fun."

Yumiko snorted. "Terrifying."

That cracked a grin. "Right?"

They shared a chuckle, though Yumiko's own was soon cut short when Magna caught her hand, gently pressing her knuckles to her lips. "I had to get good at operating alone before I met you. Handling things myself. Because there was no-one else to handle them. And the one time I thought there was, the one time I trusted. . . " She broke off. But Yumiko didn't need her to continue. Had a strong sense of what she'd been about to say. Felt her lips press together in a hard line, watching as Magna collected herself before continuing. "I handle things myself. And you do too. But we also handle things together. We're good at that. With a little work, maybe we could be great."

Yumiko smiled softly. "I think it's going to take more than a little."

Magna made a face. "Yeah. I know. I was taking a stab at being optimistic."

Still smiling, Yummiko reached out, tracing the edges of her lips, the curve of her cheek. "I think we can do it. With enough time. Maybe some setbacks. I think we can do it."

Especially since right now Yumiko was staring into the face of the best motivation in the world.

For Magna she could do it.

For them she could do it.

"Yeah," Magna exhaled, turning into her touch.

Yumiko felt the gentle press of lips against the skin of her palm. Her smile softened.

For Magna she could do anything.

A/N: I promise that this has a happy ending folks! There's gonna be conflict - because there's some things they need to work through - but there's also going to be softness and fluff. And kisses of course!

Also, the entire rough draft for this fic has already been written (i need to sort the scenes into order and mesh things together and also give each chapter enough proofreads but the rough draft is written) and in order to write it I had to come up with my own assumptions about what Magna and Yumiko have been doing in the Commonwealth, what their motivations are, what they're feeling, what goals they're working towards, etc. - and it's likely all going to end up conflicting with canon when new episodes come out. I hope that's okay?