"I'm still not easy," Magna mumbled against her breast.

It took a moment for Yumiko to place what she was talking about.

Felt tired amusement settle in her chest the instant she did. "Mm hmm."

"I'm not."

"Of course you aren't, sweetie."

Magna narrowed her eyes. "I'll have you know that I had sex like a hundred times before anyone actually managed to get me off."

The smug expression on her face was almost enough to make Yumiko laugh, instead she bit her lip, straining to keep her amusement in check. "Congratulations?"

Magna nodded shortly, accepting this as nothing less than her due.

You're ridiculous.

"So who was the talented person that actually achieved this rare feat?" She had the insane urge to send them a gift basket for finally managing to break the terrible streak that had apparently been set by Magna's previous sexual partners.

"Not important."

But the answer came so quick, so casually that Yumiko doubted its truth. She wondered whether it had happened when Magna was in prison. That was, after all, when she'd experienced her first sexual encounter with a woman. And she'd been reluctant to talk about it ever since Yumiko hadn't been able to hide her discomfort the first time the matter was dropped in conversation.

It was hard not to be discomforted, though, when she knew that encounter had taken place during Magna's first year in prison and her state of mind had been. . .

Questionable.

Yumiko may not have known her then but she'd read the court transcripts, had gone over those very same transcripts with Magna, navigating around the significant holes in her memory - and that was without getting into what recollections Magna had been both able and willing to share with her.

Consent in prison was a thorny issue on its own but the dissociative state Magna had clearly been in for the first part of her stay added another, even more disquieting layer. Even if it had mostly worn off after she'd turned eighteen, she still hadn't been. . . right.

At the same time, Yumiko was the only one who'd ever displayed any discomfort over the matter and there was always the strong possibility that she was projecting. Or the fact that she'd spent the majority of her career helping people whose consent had been violated clouded her judgment. Predisposed her to a certain kind of bias.

For all she knew, that encounter could have been a positive moment in Magna's life, and one of the few that she'd been allowed to have in prison. After all, she'd only ever become uncomfortable when she'd noticed that Yumiko was. Which hadn't been at all her intention.

Not wanting to reawaken that discomfort, she resolved not to voice her theory. If it was something Magna wanted to talk about, she would. Otherwise it was best to let sleeping giants lie.

Far less likely to get crushed that way.

Magna's bun had come loose at some point during their earlier activities, the hair tie lost amongst the sheets. Yumiko ran her hands through the strands now, feeling the soft curls that had become so distant to her.

"Remember what I said about no comment?" Carefully, she extricated her fingers from a tangle, leaving it be before delving back into the familiar tresses. "You don't have to tell me anything but I can tell that it is important."

Magna huffed. "Let's just say they were some Grade A asshole that made Randy look like the finest of gentlemen."

"His name was Randy?"

"Randal, actually. Hard to say which is worse. And. . . honestly I'd be an asshole too if I had to walk around with a name like that."

Yumiko made a noise that could pass for agreement, trailing her fingers lightly over Magna's temple. "It would certainly be a cross to bear."

Perhaps the universe's way of getting in some advance punishment for how much of an asshole he would come to be later in life.

Magna propped herself up, regarding her curiously. "What about you? Who got you off first?"

The curiosity was genuine but that didn't make it any less a question designed to deflect. To redirect Yumiko's attention. That was fine. But she couldn't help but wish Magna had picked something else. Anything else.

Yumiko considered taking her own advice and deploying the no comment card. She stewed on the option a moment before taking a breath. "Nicole."

"Oh."

"Yeah."

At the time it had been wonderful. A memory she'd thought she'd cherish. Want to preserve long into the future. That illusion had quickly worn off, though. Now it only filled her stomach with poison, twisting and squeezing until she felt close to throwing up.

"Well, that sucks."

Yumiko snorted, surprised at how easily the words encouraged a smile from her. Queen of the understatement. "It does, doesn't it?"

"Did she suck?"

"Afraid not."

Magna huffed. "Hate it when assholes are good in bed."

Yumiko continued to smile wryly. "Does feel like there ought to be a rule against about it."

The words were an echo of something Magna had said to her once in the past and she could see the recognition of that in her eyes, the soft smile that momentarily graced her face.

She tried to focus on that smile. And not the bitterness in her chest.

Maybe if Nicole had been a nightmare between the sheets as well as out of them, Yumiko would have cut her losses after their first night together and left. Though she knew it was unlikely. Sex had never mattered to her enough to be prioritized over whatever feelings or connection she had with someone. Nor had the lack of it ever been a dealbreaker. Whilst she enjoyed sex, she could easily live without it. Magna seemed much the same. They were highly compatible in that.

"How bad was he, really? Randy. Sure it wasn't just that you weren't attracted to him?"

Whilst the question was genuine - born of honest curiosity - Yumiko would be lying if she said that she didn't hope for a denial. Confirmation that he truly had just been that atrocious.

That the universe's irony had faltered at least once.

"I've gotten off with guys before. Not often but it happens." Magna shrugged. "I mean, it's like using a sex toy. You don't have to be attracted to it for it to get the job done. If they're good, they're good. If they're shit, they're shit."

Yumiko's eyebrows flew up. "That's one way of looking at it, I suppose."

"And I suppose you'd prefer a more sentimental way?"

"I didn't say that." Sentiment had very little to do with Yumiko's certainty that she wouldn't enjoy sex with men in the slightest. Although. . . there was a difference between experiencing physical pleasure and actually enjoying yourself. She knew that intimately. And Magna hadn't claimed the latter. "I suppose it's just different to the way I look at sex."

"No surprise there."

Her brow furrowed, trying to parse what Magna meant by the comment. "Meaning?"

"Meaning. . ." She sighed. "Doesn't matter. We just have a different way of looking at things. Not just sex. Always have."

Yumiko hummed, turning that over, as her fingers trailed lightly through Magna's hair. She wasn't wrong. "You could try explaining your way to me."

She would never cease to hunger to know everything about her. To understand everything.

Magna settled her chin back on her chest. "Not tonight."

Yumiko suspected that she had no intention of explaining it any other night either.

She wound a piece of hair behind Magna's ear, watching as her eyes drifted shut under the touch. "You know. . . I still think you're easy. Even if it is only with me."

Yumiko felt her scowl against her chest.

"'M not."

Ignoring the muffled protest, she planted a kiss on her head. "You are and I love it."

Loved these little moments even more. The adorable scrunch to Magna's brow, how vehemently she argued against it, the pout on her face that begged to be kissed away. . .

So Yumiko did. Bending her head past the point of comfort and capturing her lips. Despite the petulance in her tone, Magna melted into the contact instantly, arching her neck to better meet the kiss.

It was soft and unhurried, no pressing for more in spite of Magna's earlier campaign. Yumiko smiled against her lips, ignoring the strain on her neck as she ran a thumb over Magna's cheek.

After too brief a time, they parted.

"It's not a bad thing, you know," Yumiko whispered with a smile, knuckles idly stroking her cheek, "I love the way you respond to me."

"Only to you."

Magna had always been adamant about the fact that the feelings and reactions Yumiko inspired in her had only ever been inspired by her. She might have mistaken it for romantic sentiment, even been touched, if not for the subtle edge to Magna's gaze whenever she said it, something that looked an awful lot like desperation - though Yumiko couldn't determine whether that was really what it was.

She knew that Magna's past sexual partners hadn't had anything to recommend them - and that was if she was being generous - so Yumiko could understand the need to distance herself from them. To draw a line between what she'd had before, and what she had now.

She could understand because she'd felt that same need in regards to Nicole at times.

So Yumiko said nothing, only continued to stroke Magna's face, as she bent her head and tasted her lips again.

"Mm," Magna hummed, eyes closed as her mouth hovered a breath from hers. "I love the way I respond to you too."

It was a confession and concession all in one - a trace of vulnerability hidden within the words that Yumiko would never take for granted.

"Even if it means that you lose your silly competition?"

There was a pause. "Even if if it means losing my entirely logical and superior competition." Magna smiled, examining her closely. "You look tired."

There was just the hint of cheek to her gaze.

"Mm, somebody's been on a mission to exhaust me."

"Who would do such a thing?"

Yumiko only barely contained the urge to roll her eyes, remembering Magna's earlier tease and not wanting to give her more ammunition.

Magna softened her voice, humor fading, even as her smile didn't. "You should get some sleep. There's not much of the night left for it."

"You mean morning?"

Magna hummed.

Yumiko considered the suggestion, but still found herself unwilling to close her eyes. Not ready to put an end to this, even if that end was only temporary. "I'm good for now. You feel free, though."

"Oh, it'll be a miracle if I get sleep after all this. And I don't think I'm eager to engage in that struggle just yet. So I guess you're stuck with me."

"Damn." But Yumiko was grinning now, cheeks hurting with the effort, spurred on as Magna's mouth grew to match hers.

"We could always occupy ourselves by going another round? While away the time that way. Maybe it'll even send us to sleep."

Relentless. Absolutely relentless.

"How do you even have the energy?"

Magna's brow furrowed. "What do you mean?"

'What do you mean?' she says.

Yumiko blew out. "Sonja warned me about the perils of dating a younger woman."

"I'm only five years younger than you."

"And act like you're twenty."

"Hey."

"Sorry. Twenty-five."

Without missing a beat, Magna started counting on her fingers.

"What are you doing?"

"Calculating which of us lost our virginity first. Since apparently you're so much more mature than me."

"That's not really a mark of maturity."

Nor was treating it like a competition.

Personally, Yumiko knew plenty of people who'd had sex but still acted like children.

Her brother for instance.

"Shh." Magna deliberated on one finger. "You lost yours in like 2001, right?"

She had to think about it. God, that was another lifetime ago. "2002. Second half of the year."

"Ha!" She held up her hand in victory, as though Yumiko would be able to make sense of which fingers she had up and which ones she didn't. "I win."

"Not a competition."

"Well, of course you'd say that - you just lost."

"Alright, you want to play it that way. What year did you first have sex with a woman?"

She was already perfectly aware.

Magna's eye twitched. "Those aren't the rules."

"I'm making new rules. Considering you're so determined to make me a part of this silly competition. What year?"

She grumbled something under her breath.

"Sorry, I didn't quite catch that?"

"2006!"

Yumiko smirked.

"Fuck you."

"Oh, you already did."

Magna huffed, shoving her away. "I still win. I still had sex first."

"Whatever you need to tell yourself." Yumiko caught her hand on the next shove, grinning as she threaded their fingers together, drawing her in. "You're ridiculous, you know that?"

She couldn't stop the fondness from seeping into her voice, overwhelming any and all exasperation.

Magna rolled her eyes, attempting one last half-hearted shove before succumbing to the pull of her arms. "You're ridiculous."

"Stellar comeback." Yumiko smiled as she settled against her chest, cheek pressed to her heart.

She pulled the covers up and over their heads, sealing them in greater darkness. Magna nestled in closer to her and Yumiko held her tight, shutting her eyes against the cocoon of warmth around them.

They'd spent so many nights just like this. Even before getting together. Buried underneath sheets, blankets and sleeping bags, cuddled close for warmth. Sometimes, they'd switched on a torch, using up precious battery so that Magna could cast hand shadow puppets against the backdrop of their sleeping bag, weaving together stories Yumiko could tell she'd spoken a hundred times before.

Some of them were so unusual that she suspected Magna had crafted them herself. Back when she'd been a child, regaling two younger children who, like Yumiko, had no doubt hung on her every word.

Sighing, she breathed in the smell of Magna's hair. "Tell me a story."

She felt the impression of a smile against her chest. "What kind of story?"

"You pick."

Most of all, Yumiko just wanted to listen to the sound of her voice. To drown in it.

"I have one about Bigfoot."

She could hear Magna's grin.

Yumiko rolled her eyes, grateful that she couldn't see. "Something else."

"Nessie?"

"Something else."

"Well, if you're that picky maybe you should choose."

Yumiko sighed, closing her eyes again and resting her chin against Magna's head. "The one about the tiger. In the cage."

"Happy ending or sad ending?"

She didn't know why Magna still asked. The answer was always the same.

"Happy."

Their lives were full of too much sadness already for Yumiko to have any desire to invite it into these rare moments of contentment between them.

Magna laid a gentle kiss against her skin. "I'll make it the happiest."

A/N: lol that excel spreadsheet I wrote up ages ago with timeline of Magna and Yumiko's lives really came in handy for that 'first time having sex' debate. I was like oh wait! I have a spreadsheet for this