Merlin chews the inside of his cheek while Arthur finishes his breakfast. There's a line in the floor of his room where he paced a line all last night. Sleep had alluded him, and if what Gaius said is right, the effects show this morning.

Arthur himself has made no comment. Because he didn't notice or doesn't care, Merlin isn't sure. Arthur isn't a morning person, he's come to find. Merlin had to all but drag him out of bed just to deposit him into a chair to eat his food. Ever sense, Merlin has made himself busy cleaning up the room.

"You're awfully quiet this morning," Merlin freezes when Arthur's voice rings out across his chambers. He turns to him with raises eyebrows.

"Sire?"

"Not that I'm complaining." Arthur shrugs and throws a grape into his mouth. "It's just...suspicious."

"Suspicious?"

"Like you're hiding something," Arthur narrows his eyes.

"I am an open book," Arthur only raises his brows in disbelief. Merlin decides to use his attention while he has it. "There is something I need to ask you."

Mouth full of food, Arthur motions for him to continue. "A day off. Tomorrow. I know it's short notice, but I can still bring you your breakfast in the morning, and-"

"Why?"

"What?"

"Why do you need a day off?"

"It's nothing bad," Merlin assures him.

"Then you can tell me." Arthur leans back in his seat and crosses his arms. "Unless it's a secrete."

"It's not," Merlin says a little to quickly. "I just...I need to visit a friend."

"Is that the truth?"

"Yes, Arthur." Merlin rolls his eyes and sighs heavily. "Not everything is a conspiracy."

"You're the one being cagey." Arthur said. Merlin sputters.

"I am not being cagey," He insists.

"Okay, what's this friends name? Do I know them?"

"No, you don't. Can I have the day or not?"

"Yes," Merlin's shoulders sag in relief but tense up even more at Arthur's next words. "I'll come with you."

"That is completely unnecessary."

"It wasn't a request, Merlin."

"Arthur, please," Merlin nearly begs. He's not above it, if that's what it comes to. But he'd rather not. "You can trust me, I'm not doing anything bad."

"So you won't mind me coming along, then."

"You know what, never mind," Merlin throws his hands up with a tight lipped smile. "I don't need the day." He can just do all his chores as quickly as he can, get done early and then go. He probably won't have the chance to sleep any the next night, the trip will take up most of that time. But it's a sacrifice he's willing to make.

"And that, Merlin, is suspicious," Arthur points his goblet at him. "Where is this 'friend' anyway?"

"Just over the western border. Look, it doesn't matter. I'm not going." Merlin grumbled. He picks up another discarded shirt and throws it into the pile by the door.

"Well, now I feel like I've upset you," Arthur sighs and sets down his fork. "Come on, Merlin, what's the big deal?"

"It's not," Merlin flashes his strained smile in Arthur's direction and disappears with arms full of laundry before the prince can respond.

Arthur watches Merlin trip over his own feet and almost impale himself on the swords he's carrying. The prince scoffs and rolls his eyes. Merlin is all long limbs and no coordination. It's a wonder he hasn't mortally wounded himself yet.

He seems even worse today. He's been moping around since this morning. Arthur isn't daft enough to not believe he played a part in that. Merlin was adamant about needing the day tomorrow. So much so that Arthur finds it strange he suddenly dropped it when Arthur said he would come along.

He doesn't trust Merlin. He's a sorcerer. Anyone who uses magic isn't to be trusted. But there's something about the boy, something Arthur can't quite put his finger on. He's a bumbling idiot on a good day. Arthur thought it was just a cover at first, a pretense of sorts. But he's starting to believe that's just how Merlin is.

But he's clearly upset. He really wanted or needed to go see this 'friend'. And on very short notice. Arthur doesn't want to think he's up to something but what else could it be? For all he knows, Merlin is plotting something.

Either way, he can't watch Merlin sulk anymore. It's getting in the way of his chores and he's already not that good at them. And it's annoying.

Arthur waits until that night to bring it up again. Or it's the only chance he gets. Merlin's been avoiding him as much as possible all day.

"You know, Merlin, I've been thinking," Merlin only gives a half interested hum. He doesn't pause in his movements of setting aside the pillows on Arthur's bed. "You can have the day off tomorrow."

"Wait, really?" Merlin finally stops and spins around to look at Arthur. The prince thinks that's the first time he's done that since this morning.

"Yes," Arthur tries to push down the slight stab of guilt he feels in his gut. Merlin can have the day off and he can go visit this friend of his, as long as Arthur is with him. Merlin just doesn't have to know he's with him. "You've been in a bad mood all day, I can't stand it. So go, have the day. You can even take one of the horses, you've got a long way to go."

"Thank you, Arthur!" Merlin's smile is beaming brighter than the sun. Arthur has to look away. "Thank you so much!"

"Yeah, well, I expect you back bright and early the day after."

"Of course. Thank you, Arthur."

Arthur told Merlin not to bother bringing him his breakfast the next morning. He told the boy he would have someone else do it. Merlin offered to find someone but Arthur just waved him away. Merlin had seemed to grateful for the day off to question it.

He's up early the next morning. Arthur rolls his eyes to himself. Merlin can get up this early to go on a long trek through the woods but he can't get up early to bring Arthur his breakfast most days.

He follows at a long distance. Merlin will never know he's there. This isn't his first time tailing someone. He's the prince, he's been trained in these things since birth.

Merlin doesn't make many stops. It's a long journey but he only pauses long enough to let his horse and himself have a drink. And he alternates between walking and riding the animal. It reminds Arthur that Merlin's been the one doing that most of his life. Traveling from place to place after...after he lost his home.

Arthur rubs his chest. That stupid feeling of guilt is starting to resurface. Sorcerer-or warlock, as Merlin keeps insisting-or not, no one deserves to have that happen to him. And Merlin has insisted that he doesn't blame Arthur. But even though he didn't play a hand in what happened, his father did. He was the one who gave the orders that lead to Merlin losing his home and his family.

But that doesn't change the fact that Arthur told Merlin he was going to be keeping a close eye on him. Multiple times. Merlin didn't seem to have a problem with it. Not until he mentioned this friend he was going to see. So really, Merlin should be expecting this.

Arthur keeps a close eye out as soon as they cross the border. He didn't wear any identifiable clothing. He wouldn't want anyone knowing that the prince of Camelot was wondering outside his kingdom. Especially just to follow around his servant.

Merlin stops again. Arthur hides him and his horse well. Merlin doesn't once glance over his shoulder. He loosely ties his own horse to a tree and starts...picking flowers?

Arthur's eyebrows pull together. He glances back at his steed but the horse stares forward with a bored expression on her face. So maybe this 'friend' of Merlin's is a girl. Is Merlin courting someone? He's never said anything. But why would he? Arthur regards him with suspicion and criticizes everything he does to the boys face. Why would he tell him something like this?

Arthur almost misses Merlin walking away. He grabs his horses reins and pulls her along with him.

They don't walk much further. Merlin has come to a stop in a small clearing with a lake. Arthur looks around but doesn't see any kind of building. Or any sign of another person.

Merlin has left his horse to graze and is standing in front of the water, flowers in hand. Arthur ties his own horse to a tree and sneaks a little closer.

Merlin is in the water now, knee deep. This only confuses Arthur more. It doesn't make any sense. Merlin said he was visiting a friend yet there's no one else here. And it doesn't appear that he's doing anything with magic. So what is he doing?

With his eyes closed, Merlin sets the flowers in the water and lets them float away. He leaves his fingers in the water and mumbles something under his breath. Arthur thinks it's a spell until Merlin opens his eyes. They're not gold, there's no hint of anything in them except blue.

Merlin's shoulder sag. He turns and moves out of the water. He sits right on the edge of shore and rests his arms on his knees. Arthur feels that pang in his chest again. He's never seen Merlin look so...sad.

"I know you're there," Merlin's voice surprises Arthur. He looks behind himself and all around, expecting to see someone else appear through the trees. But there's no one. Just him and Merlin.

Slowly, Arthur pushes his way into the clearing. Merlin doesn't look at him, not even when he lowers himself onto the ground beside him.

"You used magic, right?" Arthur asked. Merlin snorts and shakes his head.

"No, you're just not that quiet. I heard you long before we were out of Camelot."

"Why didn't you say anything?"

"Wouldn't have mattered," Merlin shrugs. He sighs with his gaze still looking out over the water. "Her name was Freya," He volunteers the information without prompting. "She died a year ago."

"This is where...?"

"Yeah."

"She was your...?" Arthur cringes at his own awkwardness but Merlin doesn't seem to mind. He merely nods and runs a hand quickly over his face.

Arthur thinks he should apologize. It would probably be the right things to do. For not trusting Merlin, for following him out here to visit the deceased woman he loved. Something he should've been able to do alone. But when he opens his mouth, two simple words on his tongue, he can't do it.

So instead, Arthur bites his lip and claps a hand on Merlin's skinny shoulder. Really, he should feed the boy more, he shouldn't be able to feel his bones so easily. Or at all.

Merlin sways under his hand but doesn't look any less depressed. It's awful, really. Arthur is so used to seeing him smile, anything else just feels wrong. With no other idea of how to cheer him up, Arthur pulls Merlin over with an arm around his neck and ruffles his hair with his other hand.

"Ow, ow! Okay, stop!" Merlin pushes himself away but he's laughing when he does it. He tries to fix his hair but it's standing up in every direction. It's going to need more than a few sweeps of Merlin's boney fingers to help it.

Arthur allows himself a chuckle as well. Merlin smiles at him but he rolls his eyes and shakes his head.

"There, that's better," Arthur said. He nudges Merlin's shoulder with his own before climbing to his feet. "I'm going to go back. You can stay as long as you want."

"Thank you, Arthur," Merlin said. Arthur grimaces behind his back. He doesn't deserve Merlin's thanks. Not after all his mistrust when Merlin has done nothing to deserve it.

"I'll see you in the morning, Merlin."

'-'