Out of the Frying Pan

by eeverlark

The story of Lucy Gray Baird right before her introduction in The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes. The title is inspired by the saying "Out of the frying pan and into the fire." Lucy Gray Baird and the other Covey members use a lot of colloquialisms/aphorisms, and I thought this one fit Lucy Gray's situation. Lucy Gray finally gets out of a bad relationship with Billy Taupe, but she

"Somethin's changed with Billy Taupe, you know that right, Lucy Gray?" Barb Azure asked me.

I snipped the rosemary I had found, gathering the fragrant bunch up in my hands before placing it in the worn pocket of my apron, biding my time before I had to respond. Barb Azure was right, of course. We hardly saw Billy Taupe these days. He was always off teaching Mayfair Lipp her piano lessons, on her schedule of course, and he came home late, exhausted, and smelling like strong liquor more often than not.

The first night he came home like that, I felt a pain in my heart. Because he and I had sworn off drink together a few years ago. It didn't stick of course. Times were too hard not to drink. But we'd only had some when we were together, only when we were together. 'Cause Billy Taupe and I both knew we didn't have the money for it anyway, so we might as well share. Deep down, I knew why he changed and where the liquor was comin' from. But my mind and my heart didn't want to communicate about it.

"I'll talk to him," I said, brushing my hands off and giving Barb Azure a smile. "He's gotta come home early today for our gig. I'll set him straight, don't you worry."

Barb Azure nodded her head at me, but she didn't seem any more convinced than I felt. Her dark eyes narrowed a bit and she pressed her lips together before turning back around to the spot she was foraging.

Things had always been hot and cold with Billy Taupe. He's a tortured soul, you see. He wanted to be good, and when he was good, he was so good. But the wolves inside him got the better of him a lot of the time, and more and more these days, too.

He was sweeter than a jar of honey when we first met, back when the Covey was whole and we were still allowed to travel. "You're the prettiest girl I've ever seen, Lucy Gray," he'd tell me, and I'd say, "I know," and that would make us both smile and laugh.

We lost our way for a while, after my family and most of the Covey was killed. But once the man that raised me and my cousins in the aftermath had died, what was left of us Covey folk found our way back to each other and we became the Covey once more. And Billy Taupe, he was on me like pollen on a bee from that point on. Tellin' me sweet nothin's and all that. I fell right into his arms. We were old enough to do something about our feelings at that point, and so it was Lucy Gray Baird and Billy Taupe Clade, always a pair, day and night. We'd play love songs together and bring the house down at the Hob, and I knew our audience felt the music better because they could sense we felt that love on stage.

When Billy Taupe kissed me, it was like a fire ignited in me and filled me right up to the brim. And I knew that wasn't the normal way with kisses. I'd sold enough of 'em by that point to know the difference.

The first time Billy Taupe confessed to me he had stolen money off the mayor and gambled it away at the Hob, he trembled as if he'd done something unforgivable. But I just told him he should do it more because the mayor had more than enough to spare, and we needed all that we could get. Times just seemed to get harder and harder and even though we Covey folk had a way of making money better than most, we still struggled. And we did what we had to to get by. Even when Billy Taupe gambled away more than he stole, I always knew he was doing what he could to help us all survive.

Times got even harder after that though. Most of the crops failed that year and the winter was colder than we'd seen in a long time. There was little enough to go around, even for the people who could afford more than most. Except for the peacekeepers. Peacekeepers always seemed to have more than enough. That was when the first man came my way after a performance at the Hob askin' for something a little more from me. He was a peacekeeper, and younger than most. Maybe in his thirties, with cropped short hair and a glint in his eye. My heart was pounding out of my chest, but my stage-self took over and I didn't tell him no, even when he took a lot more than kisses from me.

When I got back and saw Billy Taupe though, I felt the same kind of guilt he must've felt back when he first started to steal. So I told him. Of course I told him. Billy Taupe was my everything at that time, no point in keeping secrets. I figured since he didn't much mind when I sold a kiss or two, this would be no different. And that's when the wolves won on Billy Taupe for the first time. He screamed and screamed at me about how my body was supposed to be his alone and how he didn't want to share. He didn't care how much I cried and told him I was sorry. He didn't even care when he saw the welt show up on my cheek after he struck me. It wasn't until I told him how much that man gave us that he realized what he'd done. It was enough to feed us all for weeks. Then he was the one crying and he got on his knees asking for forgiveness. He told me about his struggle with the wolves and promised me he'd never give in to them again. I took Billy Taupe right in my arms and kissed the top of his head, soothing him the way I'd soothed Maude Ivory after one of her nightmares.

Of course, Billy Taupe couldn't keep his promise to me, and I didn't blame him. I knew those wolves were just too strong, and besides, I've always preferred to see the good in people. Billy Taupe once told me he was struggling to save his soul and that I was the only thing keeping him together most days, and that only made me love him more. More than a night or two I heard him talking in his sleep, and I knew he was more tortured than a lot of us by what they did to us Covey folk when they stopped us from travelling.

When word got round that the mayor's daughter Mayfair Lipp was interested in learning some music, I told Billy Taupe he should get right on teaching her because there weren't no one better than him on the keys, and besides, we should pump the mayor of all the money we could.

And it seemed to be going well for a long time. But a few days after Billy Taupe came home drunk, Maude Ivory saw something when she was walking through town. She told me she saw Billy Taupe arm in arm with Mayfair, looking like how he'd look with me. I told her I was sure he was just playing an angle, trying to get us more money, but I was too afraid to ask him about it. I was happy, and didn't want to risk anything changing.

Barb Azure and I were making our way back home from the meadow when I stopped in my tracks. Right in front of me was a snake that I'd just missed stepping on by an inch. "Hello, there," I said, bending down to admire its coloring. It was a speckled green that glimmered in the sunlight.

"You and your snakes, Lucy Gray," Barb Azure said, and I looked up to see her shaking her head at me.

"What can I say?" I asked, using my charming bravado voice I usually saved for the townsfolk. "I can't help but love a thing that most people hate."

"It's one of your strengths, for sure," Barb Azure said, weaving her way around me and the snake.

I gave the snake a polite little bow and then followed Barb Azure back home.

Home's definitely not what it used to be, back when I was with my family. We had plenty to go around back then, and when we weren't travelling, we'd come back to our cozy cottage that seemed so full of life. Ma and Pa would sing to us kids while they cooked our dinner, and the five of us would dance around the kitchen. My siblings and I got on like peas in a pod—you'd never find one of us without the other two. We had rose bushes in the back, and my ma would pluck the petals out for me and bathe me in milk and roses. Sometimes if I thought hard enough, I could still smell it, and it gave me a sort of comfort. Now home means a small shack I share with the Covey. Cots for beds and dirt on the floor more often than not. But we Covey folk know how to make good from what we've got. And now, I got to sit out in the sun and write music, and that brought me more than enough joy.

Writing music was like a need sometimes where something deep inside me couldn't be contained and it was just begging to be let free. And nothing felt more freeing than letting that tune out and sharing it with the world. Creating songs and singing them, it makes me feel connected with the people who came before and the songs they made.

But it's been a while since I've felt that need growing inside me. Not since all this nonsense with Billy Taupe started up.

I startled when I walked in the door of our home and saw him there, shrugging on one of his nicest shirts. He glanced up at me, brushing some of his dark hair out of his eyes and gave me a smile that almost made me forget everything that had been on my mind. "Hey, Lucy Gray," he said.

"Hey, stranger," I said, and it came out a little more icily than I'd wanted it to. The hurt in me just spilled right out. But I looked up at Billy Taupe, and it didn't seem he minded.

I put on my most somber dress. It still had some color—dark blues and greens, but it was the best I had for a funeral. I didn't have much black.

Once everyone was ready, we started the walk to the funeral we were playing at. I didn't much like playing for funerals. Didn't like thinkin' about death and all that. But a gig's a gig and we needed all we could get.

I didn't have time to talk with Billy Taupe as we were walking. Didn't want the others to overhear, especially not Maude Ivory. That child had little enough light in her life and I didn't want to darken it with any sort of uncertainty. So I listened to her stories about the goat.

"Someone down yonder told me we could make butter from the goat's milk." Maude Ivory sighed sweetly. "I sure do miss butter. And havin' things to put it on."

Clerk Carmine nodded his head. "We'll give it a try, Maude Ivory. I'll bet we could do it."

Maude Ivory beamed a smile the rest of us couldn't help but return, and she began to skip ahead of us.

Walkin' through town, you never knew what you'd get. Some people were afraid of us outsiders and our colorful clothes. But others, mostly those who knew us from the Hob, greeted us kindly. One man whistled at us as we walked past and I made sure to give him a wink in response.

We got to the burial ground where the funeral was taking place, a wide stretch of muddy grass with wooden markers for the graves. We set up our instruments and waited for it to start. There was a small crowd of people, many with eyes wet with tears. The person who died was someone from in town, better off than most, and he got to die of old age which not many people around here do. After a few words were said by the loved ones of the dead, we started up our playing.

It was like magic, performing for a crowd. Everything else seemed to fade away and it was just us and the music. We started out with a few more somber songs, but ended with one of my favorites, "The Old Hereafter." I don't much like thinking about death, but I like the idea of finishing up one's own work in this life before greeting our loved ones in the next. Not many of us can be so lucky to do that finishing up and I'm not sure if the "old hereafter" actually existed, but it's a comforting sentiment all the same.

Once we finished up and people began to disperse, I got close to Billy Taupe while he was packing up and whispered in his ear, "Hang back with me. There's somethin' I need to talk to you about." He nodded and I thought I saw his shoulders tense up for a bit, but he just continued putting his instruments away with the others.

We started to walk and I felt my hand instinctively go for his, but I pulled it away, grasping my other arm by the wrist instead. I wasn't sure he'd want to be holding my hand in a minute anyway. I took a deep breath, looking out over the green and sooty black of the town we were walking back towards. "What's going on with you and Mayfair, Billy Taupe? Be honest, will ya?" I swallowed hard, grabbing a handful of my skirt and held on tight.

Billy Taupe looked at me, his eyes narrowed. "What d'ya mean?" He asked, and it seemed like he really didn't know what I meant.

"I've heard some things. And you've been acting strange. Coming home late and all that." I braced myself for his answer, thinking it would come as hard and fast as fists, but it didn't.

"Nothin's going on with me and Mayfair, Lucy Gray," Billy Taupe said, clenching his jaw. "I thought you trusted me better than that."

My heart dropped and I felt guilt bubbling in my stomach. "I do trust you. It's just, things have felt different with you lately and with you spending more time with Mayfair, I…" I trailed off, not wanting to finish the sentence.

Billy Taupe stopped walking and grabbed my two arms in his hands. "Nothin' is going on with Mayfair, other than teachin' her piano, like you said. She takes up all of my time and that's why I'm late. I thought you of all people would be thankful, seeing as how you're the one that set me up with her in the first place."

I struggled to look in his dark eyes, feeling the guilt I felt. "I'm sorry," I simply said, wondering how I could have thought otherwise about the boy I loved. Billy Taupe and I had known each other for so long, it felt like he was a part of me, and being with him right now, I didn't know how I could've gotten these doubts in my head.

Billy Taupe loosened his grip on my arms before lifting a finger to my chin, tilting my face up to meet his. "I'm sorry, too," he said, and he kissed me short and sweet.

When we got back home, I gave Barb Azure a smile, trying to tell her everything was alright. But still, the look on her face didn't seem too convinced.

Clerk Carmine cooked us a dinner of katniss roots flavored with rosemary, and when we all sat around the table eating, it was like old times. I really thought things would be getting better with Billy Taupe again.

That night, Billy Taupe fell asleep in my arms and I laid awake feeling his chest rise and fall against mine. He was my Billy Taupe, just the same as he'd always been.

Billy Taupe acted kind of hurt the next morning, and that only made me feel more guilty. The room felt tense as he got out of bed and pulled his clothes up off the floor to put back on. Before he left to start his lessons with Mayfair, I kissed him long and deep, and in that kiss tried to tell him how sorry I was for doubting him. But then he left without saying a word.

I went into town later that day with Tam Amber, trying to find some food we could afford. We made our usual stops in the market before heading to the Hob. After everything Billy Taupe had said and how he'd acted this morning, I was doubting my doubts but they were still there, eating at me from the inside.

"You think something's been up with Billy Taupe lately?" I asked. I'd been too afraid to talk with Clerk Carmine about it, since he's Billy Taupe's brother and all.

Tam Amber looked down to meet my eyes and his eyes looked a bit sad. "I've been hearing some things about him and Mayfair that I don't much like. But he says it's all talk, so I left it at that."

My heart lifted a bit when I heard he told Tam Amber the same thing as he told me. "That's what he told me, too. Doesn't seem Barb Azure believes him though."

"Lucy Gray, you know Billy Taupe better than the rest of us. Better than Clerk Carmine, even. Do you think something's up with him?"

I bit my lip, wanting to say no but not being able to. Because as much as he said nothing was up, it still felt like something had changed with him. "I want to believe what he said."

Tam Amber just nodded his head in response, and we walked the rest of the way in silence, me being wrapped up in my thoughts.

We played at the Hob that night and Billy Taupe was late to show up. I was getting nervous, pacing in the small back room we've made our backstage, weaving around the boxes we often sat on and the cases of our instruments. Tam Amber was working on tuning his instrument. Maude Ivory, Clerk Carmine, and Barb Azure were all out getting things set up on stage.

As soon as I heard the door open, I turned, ready to greet Billy Taupe, but the face that greeted me was the face of Mayfair Lipp, framed in her red hair. She poked her head around as if looking for someone, and then said, "Mind if I sit here and wait for Billy Taupe?"

That pricked a nerve inside my chest and I spat out, "This area's reserved for the Covey only. Audience members can wait out there for us to perform."

Mayfair Lipp smiled that self-righteous smile of hers and said, "But I'm not just an audience member. My boyfriend's in the band." She sat down and fluffed out her skirt around her.

My heart dropped and I felt a sick burning rising up in my throat. "Your what?" I asked, feeling all sorts of emotion flooding up in me. Tam Amber got up and placed himself in between me and Mayfair, though I wasn't not sure who he was trying to protect from whom.

Mayfair batted her eyelashes at me all innocent-like. "Didn't he tell you? Me and Billy Taupe have been going steady for a month now. I know you and him used to be a thing, but you can be happy for him now, can't you?"

My hands clenched into fists. "Used to? Billy Taupe slept in my arms last night and kissed me this morning. We still are a thing."

This seemed to take Mayfair aback a bit. Her smile melted right off her face. I heard the door start to open again and saw Billy Taupe, his face stretched into a small smile when he saw me and then that smile dropped right off when he turned his head and saw Mayfair sitting on a box on the side of the room.

"What's this I hear about you sleeping with Lucy Gray last night, Billy Taupe?" Mayfair asked, getting right up in Billy Taupe's face.

I stood there frozen, feeling my heart shatter into a million pieces. Because Mayfair didn't seem like she was acting. There's only one way she could've thought Billy Taupe was her boyfriend, and that was if he'd been acting like one.

"I can explain," Billy Taupe said, his face going pale as he spoke. But what he had to explain, I couldn't tell, because Mayfair was shouting at him and my ears were ringing and all I knew was my world was coming to an end once more. By this time, the rest of the Covey had come in. Mayfair was being so loud I'm sure the whole Hob was hearing her. All of us just stood in shock, watching the two fight. The others joined in, and then everyone was shouting to get their voice heard and all I knew was that Billy Taupe, the person who I trusted the most in the world, the one that I thought I was safe to be myself around, was turning everything I ever did back around on me and using that as a reason for him stepping out on me.

"I thought you loved me," I said, quieter than a mouse, when everyone else had said their piece and it was silent.

Billy Taupe look struck, and I could see something warring inside him behind his eyes. He looked back and forth between me and Mayfair. Time seemed to stretch out while I waited for him to reply. When he finally spoke, I wished I could turn back time. "I don't love you, Lucy Gray. I won't love you. You're no good. The things you do and the things you make me do. You're bad news. And I'm done with you."

Tears filled up my eyes and I couldn't believe what I was hearing. "You don't mean that," I said, desperate to get him to say it was all a charade and that he loved me still, just as he always had.

Billy Taupe pressed his lips together, and the silence in the room felt so loud. But it was Barb Azure that spoke next. "Get out," she said. "Billy Taupe, Mayfair, you two need to leave. Now."

"But—" Billy Taupe started, but Barb Azure cut him off.

"Leave!"

And I saw Billy Taupe put his arm around Mayfair and lead her out the door.

My feet felt like cinderblocks, too heavy to move. Hot tears pooled around my eyes and I blinked, desperately trying not to let them fall because we still had a performance to do, and I didn't want to ruin my makeup. I knew too well the value of a pretty face.

Clerk Carmine shifted uncomfortably, rubbing his arms, a frown on his face.

I took a deep breath, trying to settle myself. "How much of that did y'all hear?"

"Enough." Barb Azure said. "The things he was saying about you, Lucy Gray. I don't think I'll ever forgive him."

Tam Amber nodded his head. "I never wanted to believe Billy Taupe could treat you such a way."

I felt Maude Ivory come up beside me, wrapping her arms tight around me. "What are we gonna do?" She asked.

I dabbed my eyes with my finger and took another deep breath. "We've got a show to put on."

"We don't have to—" Barb Azure started to say.

"I want to," I said and my voice cracked. I swallowed hard before speaking again. "We need the money. Couldn't afford more than half a loaf of bread with what we had today."

"Okay," Clerk Carmine said, and I could see some tears in his eyes too. "Let's do it."

After everyone else agreed, I checked myself in the mirror, and put on the best smile I could manage before walking out on stage to greet the audience. "Hey everybody, thanks for coming out tonight!"

The magic of being on stage and singing got me through our show, but those tears I'd tried to stop earlier came crawling right out by the time we made it home. It felt like I'd melted into a puddle with all the tears I was crying, and they didn't stop for a long time, but when they did, then came the talking. Everything I didn't say when Billy Taupe was around. Barb Azure had put Maude Ivory to bed by that time, and she and Tam Amber and Clerk Carmine were looking at me like they wanted answers, so I gave them what I could.

"I am bad, like he said. Things I've done to get us money. I'm ashamed."

Barb Azure put her arm around me and rested the side of her head on my shoulder.

"You're not bad for those things, Lucy Gray. You kept us all alive. And Billy Taupe knows that. Any one of us have done things we're not proud of. That's just the way of things right now. You do what you have to to get by," Barb Azure said, and it only made me cry more.

By the time I calmed down again, I started telling them things I'd never told them before. I told them about the wolves inside Billy Taupe and how he'd hurt me, but he was always so sorry and gave me so much love after, I could never blame him for it. How sometimes it even made me love him more. And how I couldn't understand how after all of that, he'd say those things and he'd leave me.

I looked over and saw that Clerk Carmine's knuckles were white, trying to hold onto something.

"I never quite believed your stories about where those bruises came from, Lucy Gray, but I never said anything. I'm so sorry," Barb Azure said.

"I didn't want you to know," I said. "I loved him." It almost broke my heart all over again to say "loved" instead of "love," because I still did love him, even though I knew I shouldn't.

After a minute, Clerk Carmine broke the silence. "Billy Taupe is dead to us. After seeing what our mom went through. After everything he's been through with all of us." He inhaled sharply. "He's never gonna be welcome back in the Covey again." He looked up at all of us to make sure we were listening. "You hear?"

The grief of losing Billy Taupe got to me and I couldn't say anything, but instead nodded my head as the rest of the Covey made sounds of agreement.

I didn't think I'd be able to sleep that night due to the aching in my heart, but somehow I found myself on the other side, waking up to the sound of chirping birds.

The next day passed in a haze. I remember days like that, back after my family was killed. Where the sadness weighs you down and time just feels like it's flowing through you, not you through it.

By the time the sun had set and risen again, I started to feel more like myself. I got thinking on some of the things Barb Azure and Tam Amber had been saying, about Billy Taupe's wolves being an excuse and how his abuse was nothing good and nothing I deserved. And it started to make sense, even if it was just a little bit.

I heard some of the others talking about what they'd found out about Billy Taupe. Apparently, it had been Mayfair who'd made the move on Billy Taupe, but he was sweet on her too and told her we were over. He'd told a friend he bet he could keep me and Mayfair both, and so that's what he did. As awful as Mayfair was, I didn't think she deserved what he'd done to her either.

I found myself walking up to the mayor's house, heart hammering out my chest and hoping that Billy Taupe wouldn't be there.

It was Mayfair that answered the door. She looked me up and down before crossing her arms over her chest, and I instinctively smoothed out my skirts, trying to better my appearance. A part of me wished I'd worn a nicer dress. The good and the bad of feeling like you're always on stage around other people is that you never stop thinking about your appearance and how they might be perceiving you.

"What d'you want?" Mayfair asked, her breath huffy.

"I just wanted to tell you that Billy Taupe…" I struggled to put it into words. "Sometimes he'd—"

"I don't care what you have to say about Billy Taupe." Mayfair cut me off. "Nothing you can say will convince me to leave him or convince him to come back to you."

"I'm not—"

"Get out of here. You're trash." Mayfair said, and slammed the door in my face without another word.

I let out of shocked laugh. As much as Billy Taupe made me question things about myself, I knew enough to know I'm not trash. And if that was what Mayfair thought of me, then I wasn't gonna try to help her out after all. That girl could reap what she sowed.

We decided to play again that night at the Hob. It was usually a popular night, a time when the town needed to take their mind off of things. Besides, all of us could use some cheering up, and we could always use the money. Not that we required anyone to pay to hear us play. We knew everyone could use some music in their lives every now and then, but even so, people did like to give us money as a way to thank us for what we did. And I did everything I could to make them feel they got their money's worth.

"You know what we should play if Billy Taupe shows up?" Maude Ivory asked.

My heart still skipped a beat at hearing his name, and the pain of losing him started all over again.

"'Nothing You Can Take,'" Maude Ivory replied to her own question, grinning.

Barb Azure gave her a small smile, nodding. "The perfect revenge song."

I thought back on when that song was written by our folk. When the country was starting to change things and threatening to make us stay. I remember us gleefully singing it at the officials when they came 'round. Eventually they did take from us. Still, it was a fun song that the crowd always loved, and I agreed to sing it if we saw him there. It would be nice to see the look on his face when he realized we were singing that song to him, after all those years of him singing that song with us.

Billy Taupe never did show up though, not before the show or during it, and we never ended up playing that song. I couldn't help but scan the crowds when I was singing and playing up there, but I never saw the likes of him or Mayfair. I wondered if any of us had gone to tell him he was out of the Covey officially, or if he just didn't care.

As I was on stage that night, some of the songs started to change their meaning. Songs I used to think were romantic, because they reminded me of my relationship with Billy Taupe, like "A-Crawlin' to You." But it was like I was hearing those words with new ears and the realization that how Billy Taupe treated me wasn't good started to sink down low in me. And even though I was still so full of sadness and still had some love left in me for Billy Taupe—I didn't know if that love would ever truly leave me— I started to feel angry at him, too. And I felt a sort of relief. Like I'd been stuck somewhere for a long time, and finally gotten free.

After we'd packed up and were leaving the Hob, I walked outside and saw two people waiting across the street, staring right at our door. Billy Taupe and Mayfair. The rest of the Covey walked past as if they hadn't seen them there, and maybe they hadn't, but I was frozen in place. Mayfair walked right up to me and got right up in my face. "It's your fault Billy Taupe lost his family. He's got nothing left but me, and you're going to pay for it, Lucy Gray."

I was speechless, staring at Billy Taupe, part of me still hoping he'd come over and apologize and come right back to me.

Mayfair grabbed my face in her hand, squeezing my cheeks between two fingers and making sure I was looking right at her. "You better dress nice tomorrow, Lucy Gray, 'cause you're going to the Capitol." Mayfair walked away before I had a chance to say anything else, taking Billy Taupe by the arm. The last thing I saw was his face, etched with remorse as they walked away.

It took me a minute to surmise what Mayfair meant with what she said. Then I remembered that tomorrow was the reaping. And even though we Covey folk weren't a part of any District, they still put our names in with the District Twelve kids every year for the reaping of the Games.

Panic rose up in my chest because I was pretty sure Mayfair was telling me she rigged the reaping so I'd be drawn. That girl hated me enough to get me killed for it.

I ran home, fast as I could, feeling my legs burn all the way but not caring. I burst through the door, panting and out of breath.

"What is it?" Barb Azure asked, looking alarmed while Tam Amber pulled out a chair for me to sit down.

I told them what Mayfair said and what I thought it meant. "Do you think she could have done that?" I asked.

"I don't know. She might have access to those reaping bowls, being the mayor's daughter and all," Tam Amber said.

"They can't take you!" Maude Ivory said, flinging her arms around me. "We can't lose you and Billy Taupe both."

I hugged Maude Ivory back. "I know, baby. I don't want them to take me. Maybe they won't."

There wasn't much we could do after that. It was late and whatever happened, tomorrow would be a long day for us all, so we decided it would be best to try to get some sleep.

It took hours to calm my mind down. Thinking on Mayfair and everything she'd said. A sort of rage bubbled up in my mind and I formed a plan. I wouldn't let Mayfair get away with sending me off to my death. I wouldn't go down without a fight.

When I finally slept, I dreamt about my family. A pleasant dream where we were all back in our old cottage, the smell of roses making me feel safer than I'd felt in a long time. That feeling stayed with me as I got up and ready for the day. I pulled out my ma's dress, the one that I usually kept for special occasions, did my hair up nice, and even put on the makeup I used for our performances.

I did my best to stay cheerful for the others. I didn't want to let on how I was really feeling inside. The past few days had been rough enough on us all anyway, and I had too much love for them to add any more to it than I had to.

I went out into the meadow, under the guise of getting flowers for my hair. And I did find some flowers, but what I was really looking for was that snake I'd seen before. I searched through the brush, hoping its nest would be somewhere near, and there it was, a flash of green. Before it could slither away, I scooped it up, holding it to the light. "I'm hoping you could help me with somethin'," I said, setting it gently in the pocket of my dress.

After walking back home, I joined everyone in eating some breakfast, not sure when I'd eat next.

"Lucy Gray, I was thinking, even if you do get called, you have to make sure you sing that song. So Billy Taupe and Mayfair know they didn't win," Maude Ivory said, in between bites of toasted bread.

I smiled, imagining what that would be like, but fear settled in at the thought of being reaped. I was determined to get my revenge on Mayfair, but I didn't know if I could do a whole performance on top of that with how I'm feeling now. "I don't know if I'll be brave enough to do that." It would be different from being on stage like I'm used to. I'd be so full of fear.

"Well, we'll help you, of course," Maude Ivory said, like it was nothing more simple than us being on stage together. "That's what we do."

Tam Amber, Barb Azure, and Clerk Carmine all nodded their heads in agreement. I knew we were all trying to put on brave faces today, and I'd do my best not to let them down. I reached down to feel the weight of the snake curled up in my pocket, hoping it was doing alright in there.

"Okay," I said, nodding, and tried to steel up my courage. No matter what happened today, I'd need all the courage I could get.

The End