On Punching Gods and Absentee Dads

Enigmaris

Chapter 18: Loki Really Should Stop Making Plans

Summary:

Remus punches Loki in the face and Thor calls Loki an idiot. A normal day really.

Notes:

It's alright everyone! I'm back. I'm alive! It's all good. We should be having regular updates for the rest of the summer unless something unplanned comes up.

Thanks for the great comments I enjoyed reading everyone of them!

Have fun with this update!

Chapter Text

Remus punched him in the face.

Not once, not twice, but thrice.

And it was closer to the full moon that Loki would've liked based on the strength in Remus' limbs. Remus would've gone for a fourth and a fifth if Harry hadn't come to his rescue and pulled Remus away. He wondered where Sirius and Thor were.

This was not necessarily the welcome he'd wanted from Remus but it was certainly the one he'd expected. Thor helped him up off the ground while Sirius and Harry explained things to Remus. Remus was staring at Sirius in disbelief, joy shining out of his golden brown eyes. Loki healed his two rapidly bruising eyes and his rebroken nose, hoping against hope that it wasn't going to be permanently deformed from all the strain it'd been put under the last week.

Thor accurately read his look and gave his shoulder a pat.

"You're just as handsome as always."

"Why didn't you stop him?" Loki asked. "Are you my brother or aren't you?"

"Of course I'm your brother." Thor said. "But that human looked a bit…feral."

"Don't make those jokes where he can hear you." Loki warned. "Remus has an ability much like Banner's."

"Ah." Thor said as he looked back over at the group. "It looks as if this will take some time."

"It's quite a story to tell." There's a faraway look in Thor's eyes, something was troubling the man. "Are you alright?"

"I had a conversation with Harry." Thor said. "And its contents…disturbed me. I'm afraid I promised him I would not tell you more than that and I wish to keep my word. I don't want you to feel as if I'm purposefully hiding things."

"Is it dangerous?" Loki asked, his eyebrows furrowing together in concern.

"Not really." Thor said. "Harry is in no more danger than he was yesterday or the day before."

Loki sighed at that. It hurt something in him to know that his son lived such a dangerous life. Loki often had to fight back the urge just to scoop the boy up into his arms and hold him to his chest in same way he did when the boy was small. He decided he wouldn't push Thor any further. He appreciated that Thor told him something at all and understood why Thor wasn't telling him everything.

"Thor." Loki said. "Can you keep a secret?"

"Did I not just show that I'm capable of that?"

"Will you then?" Thor rolled his eyes.

"Yes. What is it?"

"I wanted Harry to like Asgard."

"What?"

"You mustn't tell him. I don't want him to feel as if he's disappointed me."

"Why would you want him to like Asgard? You hate it there!"

"That's true but…It's safe isn't it?" Loki asked. "No one poses any threat to him there. He could have wandered the city freely, perhaps made some friends. I would've dealt with a thousand awkward conversations with Odin if it meant Harry could have had some peace."

His last conversation with Odin had been…less than stellar. If it hadn't been for Sirius immediately distracting him after he left that room, Loki probably would've tried to break something just to relieve the tension. Thor was staring at Loki like he couldn't believe what he was hearing.

"And you saw how Odin treated Harry!" Loki pointed out. "I don't understand why he's doing it but having Odin on our side would've only made Harry's time in Asgard smoother, if he'd wanted that. It was Sirius' idea actually, to give Harry the day to wander Asgard and test the waters. We'd both hoped that he'd come back to us brimming with excitement but he just…seemed disinterested. I shouldn't be surprised, Asgard isn't much like Hogwarts and it doesn't have his friends in it."

Thor looks like he was recently punched in the gut and was trying very hard to hide it. Loki supposed it would be surprising to hear him admit that he was willing to endure Odin of all people for any reason at all.

"Did you not think to tell Harry about this?"

"I told you. I don't want him to feel like he has to be one way or another." Loki said. "If I told him that while I hate Odin and don't want anything to do with him, I would willingly endure him if Harry liked Asgard enough to stay for the rest of the summer. Harry would feel torn wouldn't he? Because he wouldn't want to ask me to suffer for him. I wanted Harry to decide for himself what he liked without taking my emotions into it at all."

"I can't believe this." Thor said.

"Oh shut up. I'm capable of empathy and kindness."

"That's not it! Loki, in what world would that boy not take into account your feelings?"

"I…what are you talking about Thor?"

"I can't believe this. You're both so…" Thor made a frustrated noise then and actually ran a hand through his hair messing up the perfectly styled locks. "Please tell me Lily had common sense. Please tell me your wife was intelligent."

"What? Of course Lily was smart. Why are you bringing her up?"

"Because you're-! Loki, Harry loved Asgard!" Loki blinked stupidly at his brother for a moment. The others hadn't noticed what they were talking about yet and Loki quickly cast a spell to ensure that they wouldn't.

"Harry told me it was boring."

"Because he didn't want to hurt your feelings!" Thor said. "Harry believes he couldn't stay in Asgard because of the prophecy. And he thought if he told you that he had a great day and that he enjoyed being safe for once in his life that you'd feel bad. So maybe! Next time you decide to come up with a plan for your son you don't and you tell him what you want instead!"

"Don't put this on me! He's the one who lied!"

"He's the boy who'd just experienced what a normal day should be for the first time in his life!" Thor said. "You purposefully engineered a situation where Harry could experience a good day, safe and free from violence while knowing that he would be unable to continue to have days like that! What was your plan brother? To let him have five good days? Ten? A month's worth? He wasn't going to be able to stay forever."

Loki's mind raced and he was coming to about fifty different and equally upsetting conclusions about the faults in his and Sirius' plan. Harry was honest and loyal. He felt a duty to his friends and to earth because of the prophecy. Harry would've never, ever agreed to stay in Asgard long, no matter how nice, because of Voldemort's influence. He was just like his mother, the woman who had denied herself a real wedding party because she felt she had a responsibility to the Order and wouldn't want to waste their time on something frivolous.

And now Loki had dangled something in front of his son that he would truly want but ultimately decide to deny himself because he was too selfless and good. Loki hadn't even thought to explain himself. To tell Harry that he could stay in Asgard for the rest of the summer, that Loki would make sure his friends and loved ones were safe while Harry recovered and learnt how to control his strength and magic amongst a people who could handle his outbursts.

Of course, Harry had lied to him. How could the boy have even explained the truth to him? Could Loki even truly understand that pain, his burden? Harry had never known a place like Asgard. He'd only known the abuse of his relatives and the dangers of war. And Harry had had a taste of paradise, a taste Loki had arranged as part of a convoluted plot to give him more than just a taste. That small taste was meant to whet his appetite not leave him constantly starved for a meal that would never come.

A pit opened up deep in his stomach. Could he do nothing right?

"I'm an idiot."

"A little yes."

"I hadn't realized it would be…I just wanted to give him the opportunity to enjoy something." Loki said. "I wanted him to decide free of anything where he'd like to spend his time. I thought if I didn't tell him what I felt that he'd…he'd be free to do what he wanted."

"Harry's own heart will keep him from freedom for a while." Thor said. "He'll keep sacrificing himself time and time again."

"But he shouldn't have to! A single summer of fun isn't going to destroy the world."

"Harry would never see it that way." Loki groaned knowing Thor was right.

"Damn. Damn. Damn."

"He met Tyr."

"What?"

"I don't know how exactly but he ended up in training with the other trainees. You'll never guess what he did." Thor said. "Tyr told me that Harry disarmed him. On the first try!"

"No."

"Yes! Tyr told me that he was considering making Harry his apprentice!"

"What!" Loki's voice was literally bursting with pride. He listened as Thor told him nearly word for word what Tyr had told him. His smile kept growing wider and wider. It was almost easy to forget what Loki had just learnt about his son.

"I'm so proud of him!"

"He's brilliant! My son is absolutely brilliant!" Loki grabbed Thor's hands and jumped up and down a little.

"I know!" Thor squealed.

"Are you two done behind that privacy ward?" Sirius asked.

Thor and Loki both jumped like spiders had been conjured to crawl down their spines. Remus, Sirius, and Harry were both standing there grinning at the two of them. Harry a slight look of suspicion on his face and Loki remembered that Thor had promised to keep the Tyr thing a secret. He probably looked a bit silly. Loki dropped Thor's hands and the privacy ward at the same time. He let his face slide into something close to neutrality.

"Are you going to punch me again Moony?"

"No." Remus said smiling, the man held out his arms. "I missed you Prongs."

"Oh so I'm just supposed to give you a hug."

"Yes."

"You didn't even apologize for breaking my nose! Or for calling me those rude names!"

"James."

Loki gave a really fake sigh to show how put upon he was and stepped forward. He pulled his friend into a hug, appreciating the familiar scent of chocolate and old books. Remus hugged him back. Some part of his heart felt healed and well in a way it didn't the moment before. His family felt almost complete with his son, his two best friends, and even Thor. There was still a piece missing, no red hair and tinkling laughter, but for the moment it felt like enough.

"Thank you." Remus whispered. "Thank you for coming back."

Oh and the despair Loki could hear in those words. The pain. He pulled his friend a little closer to his chest, wishing he could push away the years of solitude and painful transformations away.

"Thank you for being here."

There would be time for them to talk privately later. Loki desperately wanted to know what life Remus had lived in the last decade. He wanted to offer comfort and support in anyway his friend required. He tried to imagine the loneliness and pain, the suffering Remus had gone through alone with his condition. But he couldn't. Loki pulled back from the hug a little.

"We need to talk about the Order and Dumbledore. But not here, can you come back to New York right now? There are plans we must make." Remus' eyes hardened at the mention of Albus but then there was an old grief that Loki knew so well.

"It's tonight." He said. "It won't be safe for…"

"Remus." Loki said. "We are together now. I promise you, like I promised you over a decade ago, I won't let you hurt anyone. I'm a god, I'm quite sure your teeth won't be able to pierce my skin."

"That a risk you want to take?"

"Not a risk, you're my friend. Come with us."

"It'll be okay Remus." Harry said placing a hand on the man's shoulder. "We want you around, full moon or not."

"Harry last time you and I were close on the full moon I almost…"

"You didn't." Harry said simply, stepping over a story that Loki had yet to hear. "Sirius was there to protect me and now there's dad here too. Besides, I'm a demi-god. Pretty sure I'll be fine."

Remus smiled a little and Loki decided they'd dithered enough.

"Thor. Come on, let's get back to the tower."

"How are we getting there?"

"Portkey?" Sirius suggested.

"Good as anything else."

So, Loki made a portkey, pulling his son close to his side. The portkey was just a ribbon he conjured out of nothing. He enchanted in the coordinates for the top of Avenger's Tower and had everyone grab onto the strand. Everyone took it, even Thor who had no idea what the ribbon was going to do.

"Mischief Managed."

The familiar sensation of being picked up by the navel and flung through space and time overwhelmed Loki for a moment. He held his son tightly and was gratified when he was held right back. They arrived with a thud, Thor being the only one who didn't manage a graceful landing.

"Thor a portkey isn't as bad as the Bifrost. I expected better from you."

"Yeah." Sirius said. "Aren't you supposed be a god or something?"

"Oh shut up." Loki grinned at his brother annoyed face.

"Let's go and introduce you two to the Avengers. My wily adversaries."

"I would like nothing more James." Sirius said. "Time to show these humans who's boss."

"Padfoot." Remus chided. "They're heroes not Snape."

"Ehh. They fought against one of our own, Moony. Have you no loyalty?"

"When the 'one of our own' in question was being mind controlled? Not really."

"You break my heart, Moony. You really do. You should've joined me in my fight against the Avengers, mind control or not."

"If James had come and broken me out of jail I would've joined him."

"Clearly, Padfoot is my true friend."

"Prongs." Remus said. "Obviously I'm not your true friend. I was Lily's. Which meant I would've knocked some sense into you in her place."

All three of them laughed and began their trek into the tower. Loki kept his son at his side. His mind kept going back to what Thor had told him. To what he had planned. Clearly Loki needed to be better at this. If he wanted to support his son he had to be direct about it. Harry wouldn't do what he expected of him. Loki had expected that if Harry liked Asgard then the boy would tell him. Loki had expected that Harry would enjoy spending a month or two in Asgard.

Harry had done neither of these things and was probably under a lot of emotional duress because of Loki's poor planning. Who knew trying to give someone a nice day could be so fraught with pitfalls?

"Welcome back." Jarvis said. "I have alerted the other Avengers to your arrival and Mr. Stark requests your presence in the penthouse to and I quote 'explain what the hell you two were thinking'."

Sirius and Remus both jumped a little in shock but Harry was quick to explain that Mr. Stark had a computer butler, or rather an invisible butler that wasn't a person or a house-elf but was in fact very polite and knew a lot of things. Sirius and Remus accepted this explanation with the skill of two men used to far weirder things. While Harry explained that Loki and Thor led them to the stairs and down to the penthouse.

All of the Avengers were there waiting for them.

None of them looked particularly pleased.

Then again, Loki and Harry had disappeared without so much as a 'how do you do'. Perhaps a little upset was acceptable.

"You know Loki." Tony said. "This isn't a Frat House where you can just bring whoever you want to stay."

"Isn't that a halfway house?" Remus asked.

"No it's a halfway house if you're using it to house ex-cons. And as I escaped prison I'm currently just a regular con instead of an ex-con."

"So it's not a halfway house it's a bolt hole."

"Weird bolt hole since it's so big." Sirius muttered before looking over at Tony. "You compensating for something mate?"

Tony's mouth opened in shock while the other Avengers tried to hold back their laughter. Sirius strode forward in complete confidence and threw an arm around Tony's shoulders.

"Oh don't be embarrassed. It's just biology you know." Sirius confided. "I heard once that Muggles had smaller equipment than wizards just naturally so you shouldn't feel too poorly."

"You really want to be talking about equipment Sirius?" Remus asked lifting up an eyebrow. "Because I seem to recall a certain incident in fifth year when you…"

"Oi! Not in front of the kid! He's got delicate ears!" Sirius interrupted.

"What'd he do, Remus?" Harry asked his voice deceptively innocent.

"Well you see Harry, sometimes when a boy is very stupid and has a crush on a very pretty girl he tends to…"

Sirius jumped forward and slapped his hand over Remus' mouth, then he yelped.

"You licked me!"

"You put your hand on my tongue in the middle of a word."

The two started to argue in the same way they had when they were young and Loki soon found himself being dragged in, both of his friends declaring that James would surely agree with them and not the other. The Avengers watched all of this in silent bafflement.

"They've been like this all day." Thor complained. "It's nearly insufferable."

"Did you replace Loki with a pod person?" Tony demanded.

"No." Harry said. "He's just being himself."

Those words were said with a sort of pride and joy in them. They made something in Loki's gut burn because yes, this was who he was, wasn't it? He enjoyed jokes and teasing and laughter. He hadn't been himself in a long time and suddenly it felt perfectly normal to be James Potter. Loki had been a mask, a mask that he felt comfortable retiring for the time being.

"Where did you two go?" Steve asked, deciding smartly to leave the three magic users to their good natured ribbing.

"Well first we went to London, then we went to a fog world where we found Sirius and fought some zombies called Draugr. Then we accidentally went to Asgard and I met the King and Queen. Then we came back to London to find Remus and then we came here."

"What?"

"That was an awful story pup! You totally forgot to mention how handsome and brave I was."

"Nor did you mention the fact that James got punched in the face five times"

"It was only four!"

Things devolved from there. Loki was content to let everything be chaotic for the foreseeable future. Unfortunately, Remus actually had some sense, and also a time limit. It took him fifteen minutes to wrangle Sirius and Loki into order and from there directed the conversation to explain everything to the Avenger's satisfaction. Remus had forced everyone to sit down and conducted the explanation like a maestro. This gave the Avengers the very mistaken impression that Remus was reasonable and mature. Which of course couldn't be further from the truth.

This was proven true when Remus started telling stories designed to embarrassed Sirius and Loki with little to no prompting. The man took on the role of beleaguered friend being dragged into trouble as if he were trying for an Oscar. Sirius and Loki both disagreed vehemently with Remus' description of events and started piling on evidence of Remus being just as much a bastard as the rest of them.

This evidence included every prank Remus had pulled on their xenophobic defense teacher in their 4th year. 15 different examples of him lying to the headmaster while being a prefect in the name of a prank. His spell ideas for protecting the Marauders Map. And of course, the pranks he'd pulled on Sirius whenever they got into a fight.

(There were a lot of that last one.)

The air was filled with good humor and fun. At some point someone had gotten out drinks and food and there were snacks being passed around between the group. Sirius, when he chose to be, was a master at keeping control of a crowd. There had been many times in their youth that it had been Sirius' penchant for humor and drama that had brightened up a dull, rainy afternoon. Sirius used this to his advantage now, charming the Avengers into seeing him and Remus as friends instead of strangers.

The end result of this entire conversation was of course laughter. The Avengers were laughing. Thor was booming. Sirius and Remus looked as if their stomachs were hurting. Harry's eyes were red from the tears. Remus desperately tried to defend his honor as the mature one of the group. But it didn't look like it was working.

As the stories continued, this time expanding out to the Avengers sharing stories of their own moments of tomfoolery, Loki let his mind wander back to his son. Part of him wanted to confront the boy on his lying. Telling him that he should always be honest. Another part of him didn't care about the lie and was more concerned with the pain his son was no doubt it. Another part of him just wanted to scream at the universe. Eventually he found some words to share. A quick privacy spell blocked out some of the laughter and Harry looked over at him in question.

"Starlight." Loki said. "I want to…that is…you should know that I am very proud of you."

"Thanks." Harry said. "But…"

"I know things have been hard for you and I…well I can't imagine what it's been like. You've been faced with some very tough decisions recently."

"What did Thor tell you?" The boy asked suspiciously. "He promised he wouldn't…"

Loki wasn't surprised that Harry had figured it out so quickly.

"He told me that I have an amazing brilliant son who loves me and this world very much." Loki said. "And I want to tell you that the feeling is mutual. I love you so much Starlight and I want you to be happy, more than anything. And I'm sorry that you feel like you can't be happy right now."

"It's not…It's not that bad, dad."

"It is, darling." Loki said pulling his son into a soft hug. "But it won't always be. I understand why you said what you said and I…I don't blame you."

"You don't?"

"No."

"I don't like lying, you know."

"Sometimes…sometimes a lie feels necessary." Loki said. "I'm the god of lies, I can hardly get after you for spouting one or two."

"Asgard was really nice." Harry admitted, his voice slightly muffled against Loki's shoulder. "But earth needs me and…and Thor said I could come back later."

"Starlight." Loki said. "Whenever you want, I will take you any place you wish to go. You say the word and I'll take you to the peaks in Vanaheim or the forges of the dwarves. We can take your friends, we can do whatever you want, whenever you want. I promise you, this war will not last forever and when it's over you are going to truly live. You are going to explore and laugh and love, and there won't be a bit of danger I'll let come your way until you're ready for it again. I swear it."

Harry hugged him back, his arms convulsing a little.

"And while this war rages, I'll promise you something else."

"What?"

"You're still going to have pockets of joy." Loki swore. "Like right now telling funny stories and laughing with all of us. Tom Riddle will not take away what makes you happy, not anymore."

"Thanks dad."

"Don't thank me Starlight. It's my pleasure."