On Punching Gods and Absentee Dads
Enigmaris
Chapter 47: Yule at The Burrow
Summary:
Loki has a lot of great plans for his son's first family Christmas. First it's time to celebrate Yule with the Weasleys.
What could possibly go wrong?
Notes:
Hey everyone. It's sad boy hours for Harry right now but I promise to cheer him up soon. I swear it upon my honor.
Chapter Text
Asgard had never actually celebrated Christmas.
This shouldn't be all that surprising. Christmas as a holiday was much younger than most adult gods and was based on the idea of a demigod saving the world. Up until very very recently demigods weren't something worth celebrating.
But now Asgard had a demigod and he was prophesied to save the world.
So, most people were more than willing to get into the spirit of things even if it was a bit sacrilegious.
Seeing as how the only Asgardian to have ever celebrated the holiday was Loki it had fallen to him to educate the masses on what the secular version of the holiday was and how people were meant to celebrate it. There were some things, like the carols, that Loki was more than happy to leave on earth. But he did describe the stockings and the tree and the various sweets and treats. He told them of the Midgardian tradition of going to sleep and waking up in the morning to gifts from one another, wrapped up in shiny coverings. A showing of love and support towards one family.
That had been received well and there were many homes in the royal city that were decked out in the proper decorations. Well as close to proper as Asgardians could manage. Loki would tell them about mistletoe, a poisonous plant that humans hung in their homes during the holiday. When two people stood beneath it, they had to exchange a kiss. This somehow got flipped around so that Asgardians were hanging boughs from berry bushes and punching each other with great abandon on the arm whenever two of them stood beneath it.
So, Christmas on Asgard was going to be great.
Loki himself had been focused on ensuring that the palace was properly done up. He'd gone with Sirius and Remus and cut down a grand tree on Midgard and then had carefully transported it back to Asgard. Remus had insisted on putting spells on the tree so that it wouldn't die and could be returned to its stump and healed after they were done. Loki only added a few spells to make sure it didn't shed needles everywhere and that it gave off the pleasant pine-sappy aroma that he liked so well.
He knew from his time with Lily that she preferred to decorate the tree as a family. So Loki had gathered up as many decorations as needed and told Odin, Frigga, and Thor that they best be ready to give up an entire evening for this experience. He warned Odin specifically that if he missed it or brought any work with him while he did it that Loki would make him suffer for it. Loki then decorated the rest of the royal wing of the palace as was proper for Harry's visit.
It had been decided that Christmas would be celebrated in three stages. The first stage was of course the Weasleys. Loki, as James, would go with Harry to The Burrow. They would spend a few days with the red headed family, exchanging a few gifts early and generally being as domestic and silly as possible. Loki knew very well that the twins had plenty of plans. Of course, there would be the more magical traditions for Yule that they would celebrate.
After that Harry and Loki would proceed to Asgard where Thor and the rest would be waiting for them. Then they would spend a while there, Loki planned to pack in as many of the family traditions that he and Lily had wanted for their son into this time. He knew it might hurt a bit to see some of it, to do it without Lily, but his son deserved to have the entire experience. Every single bit of it. They'd exchange gifts there again and also have a feast because no holiday in Asgard was spent without one and Loki wouldn't be surprised if there were more gifts for his son then.
Finally, they would return to New York, laden with gifts. There the Grangers, the Malfoys, the Avengers, and the Marauders would all be there to celebrate the holiday with them for a third time, in the most muggle of fashions. Tony had a swanky party planned and Steve had a smaller celebration planned that would be far more personal. Loki wouldn't be surprised of course if Hermione requested to visit the Burrow for a time and that Ron asked to come to the tower as well.
What did surprise him was Draco's request.
"I don't even know why I asked. Stupid idea."
"No. I didn't hear you Malfoy." Ron said. "Did you say you wanted to come to my house? Why?"
"Isn't it obvious?" Malfoy asked. "Mother and I are homeless, yes of course she lives in that safehouse but that isn't magical is it? There are traditions that should be upheld and…"
"And you can't do it there." Ron said nodding. "Yeah I don't see why you couldn't come, you'll have to bunk with me and Harry though. All my brothers are coming down this year you know so it's going to be full. I'll ask mum when we see her, but she won't say no. But you can't make fun. If you do, I'll have Harry throw you out a window or something."
"I'll do wut?"
"Don't worry about it mate."
Loki rolled his eyes at the conversation. It was the final day of school before winter break and all the students were having breakfast while their things were packed onto the carriages and the train pulled into the station. Draco had waited till the absolute last possible moment to request this, which wasn't surprising since it had to have been absolutely mortifying for the poor boy. But his father was in jail, the Manor was being used as Lord Voldemort's stronghold. If he wanted to celebrate Yule properly then he would need to do it in a magical household and the Weasleys were his only safe option.
The plan was for Harry to ride the entire way with Ron and go to the Burrow with everyone else. Hermione would go as well and Loki would meet them all in the evening once the coast was clear. He'd take Hermione back to New York so that she could see her parents again, and then Loki would settle in for a very fulfilling holiday.
He didn't get to wish his son safe travel or smile at him. Harry didn't even glance at him. His son looked exactly like an orphan on Christmas would be expected to look, forlorn and a bit weighed down. He knew it was an act, but it still hurt to see it. Loki had missed all the excited childhood squeals, all the delighted gasps as his son ripped open gifts. He'd missed dressing up as Santa Claus and eating whatever treats his son would leave out. He'd missed it all.
And so, had Harry.
But not this time. No. No this time they'd do it all. Well at least the things that they both wanted to do.
The day passed swiftly. Loki had to get all of his end of semester grading done today as he refused to do a smidge of it once he was with his son. He packed up everything that mattered and rapidly went through the hundreds of assignments he had to get through with pots of red ink. Once it was done and he'd suffered from three separate hand cramps, he grabbed his bag and traveled from Hogwarts to The Burrow.
It was just as chaotic as the last time he'd been there, except it was now covered in snow.
Loki trudged up to the front door and gave it three knocks.
"COMING!" One voice yelled. The door swung open a moment later to reveal Percy Weasley, who gaped at him. He hadn't actually yet met any of the older boys. Granted he'd known of them from before, but the last time he'd seen Percy the boy had been about 4 and more interested in his younger brothers than any sort of Order business.
"Percy." He greeted. "Is Harry in?"
"Dad!" Harry yelled, running up behind Percy. "Come on you've got to see this. They've been at it for hours."
His son pulled him in, forcing Percy aside and led him into the living room proper. In the center of the living room was a chess board. Ron and Draco were currently engaged in whatever the enchanted marble version of a blood bath was with their pieces.
"Who is winning?" Loki asked.
"I am." Draco and Ron said at the same time.
"I've honestly got no clue. Hermione?"
"Currently Ron's taken more pieces, but that's just by one and Draco will…" Draco motioned one finger forward and one his knights stepped forward and decimated a pawn. "Tie it up again."
"Oh James!" Molly shouted. "You're here! Just in time for dinner."
"As if I'd miss your cooking! Tell me Molly dear is there anything you need me to do?"
"Oh no." She said. "I've already got everything handled here. Arthur went out and picked up Narcissa and she's settled in and helping me with the cooking. Bill volunteered to get Hermione home and she's safe and sound with her parents. You just stay out there and get off your feet for a while."
Yule and Christmas were fundamentally different holidays. Of course, with the onset of so many muggleborn students in recent years who preferred to celebrate the holiday of their parents, the two had been conflated in a lot of ways. Both had their pros and cons and Loki had gotten he opportunity to try both out during his time as James Potter. Loki wanted Harry to have the same experience and asked Molly if she was going to be doing any of the more regal traditions. She had given him a pat on the cheek and promised she'd do it right this year, just for him and Harry.
Apparently, Arthur had spent the part few years exploring the muggle version of the holiday with glee, but he agreed to revert to the more pureblood traditions this year.
Yule was entirely magical. It was filled with rituals and special foods and spells done to strengthen family ties. It was very heavy with tradition and symbolism. The Potters had used that time to strengthen the wards on the family property, gathering as many of their bloodline together as they could to participate in large group spells that would not only bond them together as a clan but also bolster the magic that protected their home. That was the custom in the modern day. You did spells to better the sleeping world around you and to strengthen the things that protected you from the snow and ice.
Loki sat down onto a couch and his son climbed on next to him.
"How was the train ride?"
"Good." Harry said. "I rode with the first years again, passed out some small gifts."
"Gifts?"
"Was Hermione's idea, to give the first years something magical to have to bring back to their homes if they were muggleborns. All the upper years enchanted these small lights together to help with the stress during exams." Harry explained. "I wrapped them all with a spell though, my wrist hurts a bit."
"Let me see." Loki said taking his son's hand and letting a bit of healing energy to soothe over his son's sore tendons. "There."
"Thanks dad."
"Of course. Now. Tell me about your classes. How did you do?"
So, with his son snuggled up against him, he got the wonderful parental experience of talking about grades and exams and what his son was worried about and what he was sure he'd aced. The moment was interrupted by Molly who told them all to stop playing their games and to get to the table, dinner was ready.
"Alright men." Ron said. "Stand down for now. We'll finish this after dinner."
"You will go down, Weasley."
"Yeah right."
Dinner was an affair. The family table was laden with so much food that the thick wood was bending inward towards the ground under the weight. It had been enlarged to fit all of the Weasleys and their guests. Bill had brought with him a blonde girl that was most likely part Veela that Harry recognized immediately and made a beeline over to talk to. Charlie hadn't brought anyone but he was wearing a ridiculous earring and hair long enough to make Molly tut about it the entire time. Fred and George pushed themselves to sit next to Loki and talk business. Ginny and Ron were sitting with Draco, talking about quidditch. Percy was near the head of the table with his mother, father, and Narcissa Malfoy, looking awkward and out of place.
Ron had to teach Draco how to fight to get food on his plate.
Each person was having three conversations at once and at least one of those conversations was being held by someone on the other end of the table.
The food was hot and steaming and filling.
Jokes and barbs were traded as easily as breaths were taken.
Laughter dominated every interaction.
Crumbs flew and sauce splattered over shirts and the table.
Narcissa looked rather overwhelmed by the sheer familiarity of it all, as did Draco.
When dinner ended, Loki flicked his wrists cleaning all of the dishes and sending them to their proper places while Molly chided him for doing chores when he was a guest.
"Harry, always do some chores when you're a guest. It's polite."
"Mrs. Weasley scares me, I think I'll wait for her to ask."
"Now!" Arthur said. "Who's ready to make the annumics?"
"Annumics?" Harry asked.
"It's the first part of Yule." Ron explained. "You make a…I guess you could call it a pendant? It's got special runes you put on them based on what family you're from."
"An annumic, Mr. Potter is a way that we ask for good luck and strength for the coming year." Narcissa said. "You create one out of wood and then you burn it in a magical fire. This ritual gifts us all with inspiration for the new year. The belief is that we ask the norns and our ancestors to send us what we will need for future trials. Everyone receives some sort of vision. It's a form of divination that's very old, it relies on the proper season, alignment of stars and sacrifice to work."
"Oh."
"Don't worry, Starlight." Loki said. "I'll show you how to carve the Potter one."
Harry nodded eagerly and Arthur went out to the garage. He returned moments later with a box fill of blocks of elder wood. He handed out the blocks along with knives made of pure silver to each person. Loki settled down onto the carpet of the living room and carefully showed his son the runic pattern that represented the Potter family. He explained what each rune represented and why they had been added over the ages. His son took it all in eagerly, drinking in the symbolism and doing his best to recreate what Loki made on his own block.
It was obvious he'd never carved wood with a knife before, but he still managed to get the shapes right and the overall structure was sound even if it wasn't as elegant as Loki's. Harry didn't seem to mind. He was more excited about this than he'd been about a lot of things lately, a true spark of joy in his eyes as he enjoyed the experience. An experience that shouldn't be so new to him but was nonetheless.
It took about an hour for everyone to finish carving. It was slow going because everyone had stories to share and tell about their years. Charlie shared stories of dragons and updated everyone on Norberta. When Loki asked who Norberta was Harry had to explain the dragon egg that Voldemort gave to Hagrid to trick him to telling him how to get past a three headed dog when they were eleven. It was an old story to everyone else, but Loki was still shocked that Harry had willingly smuggled a dragon out of the country.
Harry didn't even look ashamed.
Percy talked about his work at the ministry and how it was difficult to tell who to trust and who not to these days.
Fred and George spoke of their shop and how business was booming despite the war laden air of Diagon Alley.
Bill told the story of how he met Fleur while he was doing work for Gringotts in France and how they'd fallen for one another. Harry then explained that Fleur had been one of the other champions in his fourth year and how they'd become friends of a sort after the second trial.
"You saved my little sister! We are a great deal more than just friends!" She chided.
Harry blushed but didn't deny it. Loki ruffled his son's hair and told him how proud he was of him. Once the annumics were created, it was Arthur who lit the fire in their fireplace. It burned bright and hot, a magical flame that wasn't as dangerous as fiendfyre but was no less potent in its energy.
Arthur burned his first. He stepped up to the fireplace, held the wooden pendant to his heart, and then spoke out the spell.
"Inspirumis Fatum."
He then tossed the annumic into the flame causing it to flare out in response. The elder wood was immediately eaten up and Arthur shivered a little. After a moment of silence, he spoke.
"We should all stay close together this coming year. Danger is coming."
Molly went next. She bustled worriedly up after her husband and repeated the spell, tossing it in. Her shiver was far more pronounced as the flame flared up. Her voice cracked when she spoke.
"We need to keep our wands in our hands." She sniffed.
Harry was stiff next to Loki as he watched these proceedings. It wasn't surprising that the warnings coming from the ritual were so ominous. The pace of the war was increasing, getting ready to reach a fever pitch, anyone could tell that. Loki just gave his son a quick hug in comfort. Bill went next, he tossed his in and the spell made him grin.
"I need to get a ring!" He said looking over a Fleur who blushed brightly and smiled a very besotted smile back at the man.
Harry relaxed and huffed a laugh while the rest of the group laughed along with delight for the good omen that had been given them.
Down the line it went, each Weasley according to age, went up and burnt their annumic and repeated whatever words of wisdom they were given in return. Some of them were dark. George's warning was particularly chilling even if the trickster tried to pretend it hadn't bothered him much at all. Ron's was oddly enough advice about keeping his bow string well strung. It was odd only because Asgardian bows didn't need the upkeep that human ones did, they were well enchanted against wear and tear. When the Weasley's finished, the Malfoy's began. Narcissa started, throwing her annumic into the same fire.
She closed her eyes as the flame's erupted high around her and when she opened them there were tears in her eyes.
"I need to go to my ancestral home." She said. "There is something there that will be needed."
She stepped away and motioned for her son to move up. Draco threw his, the spell leaving his lips with some amount of trepidation. He flinched at the flames and then spoke out with a haughty tone.
"I will see my father soon."
A hush fell over the room at that. Lucius was in Azkaban. Either that meant that Draco would be sent there or Lucius would be let out. Loki couldn't tell what was worse. After Draco sat down next to his mother, Loki himself got up. It had been a long time since he'd done this but the steps came easily to him. He held the carefully carved annumic up to his heart, repeated the spell, and tossed it in.
Immediately his mind was filled with a riot of images, his wife's red hair, a silent battlefield with Voldemort at the center and the sound of screaming, his own. Loki swallowed and spoke.
"I will see the Dark Lord in battle again." Loki said, unsure how to explain the flashes of his wife's hair.
Finally, it was Harry's turn. Harry stepped up at Loki's gentle beckoning. He, out of everyone, looked the most afraid. And no wonder. The Norns had been less than kind to his son. Asking them for help now seemed like asking for pain and trouble. But his son didn't hesitate much, he held the annumic to his chest, said the spell and threw it into the flame.
Immediately the fire turned a violent violet and spread out higher and higher licking at the ceiling. Everyone jumped back while Harry remained stock still, his entire body so stiff it might as well have been stone. When the fire died down again his son didn't say anything.
"Harry?"
His son shook his head violently and Loki finally noticed the tears streaming down his face. He made a broken noise and pulled his son into a hug. His son closed his eyes to stop the tears and held onto him tightly.
"What did you see?" He asked. "You have to say something to finish the ritual. Your best interpretation of it, it doesn't have to be right. A lot of them aren't, but you still have to try."
Harry shuddered but took in a deep breath and spoke anyway.
"I'm going to hug my mom."
Oh.
Tears prickled his eyes and he held his son all the closer.
With the ritual ended on such a terribly somber note, most people didn't feel much like saying anything after something like that. Molly was kind enough to keep from crying in front of Harry and carefully ushered everyone out of the room, leaving Loki alone with his son. It took all of Loki's strength to speak to his shuddering son.
"Harry. These visions are extremely symbolic. There's a double meaning to all of it." He said. "It might not be your…well you have that protection on your soul, perhaps that's what your vision is-"
"Dad." Harry said. "Just stop."
"What?"
"Stop." He repeated. "I can't keep doing this!"
His son pulled away his face red and his eyes furious.
"Harry?"
"I can't dad! I can't!" He shouted. "I can't."
"Can't what?"
"I can't pretend that it's going to be okay." Harry said. "You won't…you won't talk about my scar or the prophecy or any of it. Nobody will. Everyone is just pretending that I'm going to live, and Tom is going to die and the war will end and nothing bad is going to happen and I tried. I tried to pretend that I'm fine, but I can't anymore dad. I can't."
"You are going to live, Harry." Loki said. "You are."
"What if I don't?"
"You will!"
"You don't know that!" He bellowed. "You don't know what's going to happen! No one does!"
It hit his heart like a knife. His son was shaking with rage and fear, looking more alive than he had in months. How had he not noticed how subdued Harry had become?
"I'm not going to let you die, Harry. You don't need to worry about it." He tried to comfort.
"You're not listening to me!" He practically shrieked. "What if I die? What happens then?"
"You won't! We're not talking about this!"
Harry actually shrieked with frustration that time and every window on the first floor of the Burrow shattered in a show of uncontrolled magic.
"I need to talk about it!" He shouted at him in the resulting silence. "Dad I can't…I can't keep not talking about this."
"Why?" Loki said. "Have you lost hope?"
"If I die." Harry said before pausing and swallowing a lump in his throat. "If I die, you'll be alone again. I'll leave my friends behind and Thor and Sirius and Remus and the Avengers. I'll leave you. I'll be with mum. I know I will, I'm not…I'm not worried about me, dad."
"You're worried about me." Loki whispered, tears stinging his eyes.
"I don't want to die dad. I don't." He cried. "But…but if I do, I know I'll be okay. I just…I just have to know that you will be too."
And Loki knew that Harry's death would devastate him. He thought about the screams the annumic vision had granted him and feared what had caused them. The very idea of thinking about losing his son made his very soul cry out in agony.
"Harry." He said.
"Dad. Please…please don't…don't let it destroy you." Harry begged. "I know it'll hurt but…But I'm so scared that you won't ever be happy again."
"I…Harry I don't know."
"You've got to promise." He repeated. "That you'll try to be happy. That you won't… that you won't cut yourself off. Please."
It was agony, being asked something like that. Loki knew there was only one answer he could give. He also knew he could not lie to his son about this, even if he doubted he'd be able to follow through. Loki reached out and pulled his son into a hug again.
"Harry." He said. "My beloved Starlight. I'll try."
"You will?"
"I will." He promised. "I'll try."